========================================================================
  HOW TO WIN OUR LOVED ONES TO CHRIST
  by Arthur Vess
========================================================================

Arthur Vess' practical guidance on winning loved ones to Christ through personal
righteousness, prayer, fasting, faithful living, and patient spiritual
instruction within families.

  Chapters: 6

------------------------------------------------------------------------
  TABLE OF CONTENTS
------------------------------------------------------------------------

    1. 01 - The Salvation Of Our Loved Ones Is Our First Responsibility And Last Obligation
    2. 02 - But The Great Question Remains: How Shall We Win Our Loved Ones To Christ?
    3. 03 - How To Win An Unsaved Husband
    4. 04 - How To Get Saved
    5. 05 - Will The Circle Be Unbroken?
    6. 06 - Pamphlet

========================================================================
  CHAPTER 1: 01 - THE SALVATION OF OUR LOVED ONES IS OUR FIRST RESPONSIBILITY AND LAST OBLIGATION
========================================================================

Chapter 1. The Salvation Of Our Loved Ones Is Our First Responsibility And Last
Obligation 01 -- The Salvation Of Our Loved Ones Is Our First Responsibility And
Last Obligation This is a double responsibility, both for us and for them.
Whatever else we may do for our loved ones, all is lost if they are lost. We may
do our best for them, and yet they may choose to be lost; but if we do not do
our best for them, they will likely be lost, and at our charge. Somechildren and
older ones seem by nature to be easier or harder to win to Christ than others,
but themore difficult the task the more effort we should put forth. To grow up
in the same home with ourloved ones, and then to be separated from them for all
eternity to their eternal sorrow, shouldawaken each of us to allow nothing to
hinder our every effort to win our loved ones to Christ. One mother vowed that
she would pray all her children into the Kingdom or pray them out of the
world,and she prayed them all in. Both for their final salvation, and for their
present training, we mustwin them to Christ while they are young and tender.
Many children die unconverted. It is hard totrain a child up as a Christian with
an unchristian heart, the foundation of all its desires andresponses. We cannot
train them up in the way they should go till we get them into that way.

Despite all the intimidations of the devil, we should have more influence over
our childrenthan all others. It is usually so in everything else, and should be
so in religious matters. They usually follow our politics, and social ideas, and
should follow our religion also. Of course, this requires a change of heart.
Though our loved ones know our faults and frailties better than allothers, they
will allow more for us than any others. If you do not think so, let some one
else slanderyou. When we see them die without Christ, we shall wonder why we let
foolish bashfulness, or backwardness, or the cares of this life, keep us from
doing our best to win them to Christ before it was forever too late.


========================================================================
  CHAPTER 2: 02 - BUT THE GREAT QUESTION REMAINS: HOW SHALL WE WIN OUR LOVED ONES TO CHRIST?
========================================================================

Chapter 2. But The Great Question Remains: How Shall We Win Our Loved Ones To
Christ?

02 -- But The Great Question Remains: How Shall We Win Our Loved Ones To Christ?

1. We must be sure of our own right relationship to Christ and them.

If we are dead and dry in our own experience, we cannot help them to a real,
bright and clear Christian experience. If we are earth-minded, careless and
prayerless, we have nothing to offer them until we get right ourselves. We must
have a living fire in our own hearts, shining out through our eyes, and
radiating through our own words and deeds, if we would impress and win them for
Christ. A dead soul cannot give life to a dead soul. Backslidden parents and
companions cannot lead their loved ones to Christ.

2. Our next responsibility and opportunity is to live the Christ Life in the
presence of ourloved ones.

It takes a holy life to generate holy influence. Christian carefulness, in word
and deed,should be our daily conduct. We must watch our conversation around the
table and family circle.We must avoid questionable remarks in their presence. We
must be especially careful in our expressions about other Christians and
ministers of the gospel. We must also be more careful inour business dealings,
not only to deal according to Bible principles to impress our loved ones and all
others that we are more in love with our fellows than with their property. We
must lay up for ourselves treasures in heaven in the form of the souls of our
precious loved ones, instead of material wealth on earth. "For where your
treasure is, there will your heart be also."

3. If we are to win our loved ones for Christ, we must do it through prayer, and
even fastings. In different cases earnest and constant prayer and fastings will
be very much needed: "Howbeit, such cometh not but by prayer and fastings." If
we are not earnest enough to fast, can we expect God to answer? If we could see
them in hell, we would fast and pray. It is so easy to get wrapped up in caring
for the bodies of our loved ones until we forget that they have a soul. A
Christian friend of mine who is now in heaven, got so burdened for his family
until he could not rest until he had done his best to lead them to Christ. As he
was converted later in life, most of his large family had grown up in sin, and
some of them were married. After prayer and fasting, he felt that he should
invite all his children in for a special dinner. He was especially prayerful and
careful in providing and preparing the dinner. When it was ready, he served all
the plates in a most careful manner, but his own plate was left empty. When his
children noted that his plate was not served, they asked why, and insisted that
he serve himself as well as them. By this time his burden for his lost family
had so overpowered him that he pushed back his chair from the table and
brokedown and cried out, "Oh how can I eat any dinner when all my family are
lost?" The Spirit of God so moved his unconverted children until they broke into
tears and weepings, and dinner was forgotten and a revival broke out instead.
Falling on their knees around the table, most, if not all, of his large family
were gloriously converted. Several of them became ministers and useful
Christians and still are the backbone of his Church. Doubtless as he looks down
from heaven on them, his heart breaks out in praise to God that he prayed and
fasted until his words gripped and broke their hearts. Many times our words are
too dead and our efforts too tame. Why? If we would only take the same careful
precautions and preparations, and then put forth as much interest for the souls
of our families as we do their bodies, many of them now lost would be saved.

4. Then we should manifest a radiant, trustful attitude toward God and our loved
ones.

We cannot win them to Christ in careless neglect; neither can we win them by
being blue and despondent about them all the while. If our salvation does not
satisfy us, how can we expectothers to want it? There is a difference in
religious blues and a burden for the lost, born in faith and gratitude toward
God and in tender love for our lost ones. We can feel a deep concern, and yet
trust God while we carry it. Our radiant, trustful tears will awaken their
consciences and make them long for what we possess. A minister’s wife prayed all
night for her lost son in a distant city and came home from church the next
morning shouting. The son who was restless all night decided to come home and
get saved at the very hour that his mother "prayed through" and began shouting
the victory. Mixing faith, love and confidence with our soul burdens ties on to
God and us."According to our faith, so be it unto you."

5. Parents should take special time for the spiritual instruction of their
children at thefamily altar and at other times. The deep impressions made on
children’s minds and consciences warrant any and every effort. Hearing their
parents call their name in prayer, or listening to their kindly instructions and
admonitions, move children’s hearts more than we know. When I was a small child,
I came home from the field for water one day. Just before I entered the home, I
heard my mother praying. Istopped and heard her mention my name in prayer. My
childish heart almost stood still, and Ilistened a moment, and was so overcome
that I whirled and hurried back to my work without the water. There is a thirst
in human hearts for God and reality greater than their thirst for natural bread
and water -- if our parents only realized it in time. My father used to pray
through down between the old plow handles in the field, and go shouting across
the field with tears of holy joy running down his cheeks. I would almost scream
out for the religion that my father so greatly enjoyed. Our family worship
should afford a special time to refresh and instruct us. Instead of waiting till
we are tired and worn, until we cannot really pray, we should select a time best
suited for the most important part of our family life, and worship God in Spirit
and in truth. We shouldmake it a time of reverence and thanksgiving. It is a
good time to sing some hymn or spiritual songand make melody in our hearts and
in our homes. This is a good time to inquire into the children’s spiritual needs
and conditions and give testimony to God’s wonderful grace and help. We
shouldnot make our worship too long and formal, but we should vary it to meet
the needs of the family or other friends present.

Then special personal instruction should be given to each member of the family
at settimes. John Wesley’s mother only had nineteen children besides her duties
as a pastor’s wife, but she gave one hour of personal instruction to each child
each week. But you say, "I just cannot take time for such duties." Time for
what? Which is worth most? The bodies or the souls of our family?"Life is worth
more than meat, and the body more than raiment." "Seek first the kingdom of God
and His righteousness, and all these things (food and raiment) shall be added
unto you." God provides our food and raiment through natural laws, but our souls
are only fed as we will it and take time to have it so. How oft we feed the
bodies of our children and other loved ones, and then send them out with
starving souls. How much time do you spend with your children’s souls? A young
woman in a Christian school got under conviction, and weeping, cried out,
"Neither myfather nor my mother have ever spoken to me about my soul." The
father was a minister and of official rank who made a practice of telling others
about this great salvation, but never mentioned it to his children. Was he
sincere? Another father lived so close to God that his children would brake down
and run to the altar when he would speak to them about their souls. Another
father witha large family, would get them all down and pray them up or through
in preparation for the revival? To which class do you belong? We do not claim
that even all children will heed their parent’s lives and messages, but it is a
sin not to give them the example and messages.

6. When shall we lead our loved ones to Christ?

We cannot do it too early, but we may wait too late. The devil begins in their
early months and years. Let us beat him to them. We must begin while they are
young and tender, or wait till they are hard and rebellious. We must do our best
to get them in before they are tied up to sinful companions and habits, before
their important choices are made without Christ. Let us not feel that they are
all right until they grow up and disgrace us in rebellion against God and all we
have ever lived for. Let us no wait till the devil gets them and then worry over
it. Children learn more in the first three years of their lives than in any
other like period. The first seed sown in their hearts spring up first. Most
great men and women have been converted in early childhood. BishopTaylor was
converted at 6 years, Richard Baxter at 3 years, Dr. Godbey at 4 years, J. A.
Wood at10 years, John Fletcher at 7 years, Bishop Asbury at 7 years, Adonirum
Judson at 12 years, AdamClarke at 4 years, Matthew Henry at 10 years, Jonathan
Edwards at 6 years, Isaac Watts at 8 years,and Robert Moffatt at 10 years. How
old were you when you were converted? How old, and how many of your children or
other loved ones are saved? What have you done about it? What are going to do
about it? WHEN? Many die in youth or childhood.

We cannot tantalize or force our loved ones to be Christian, but we can keep
loving and watching for a chance to woo or warn them. Keep at it; the devil
never lets them rest, but approaches them every time from every angle and at
ever turn of the road. Does he hate them moret han we love them? To train up a
child in the way it should go does not mean to turn them loose and let them go.
Most people wait till it is too late to win their loved ones. There are many
short coffins and graves, and many grown ups in sin who once were tender and
hungry for God.

7. We must discipline and restrain our children until they are saved and
afterward.

If they do not know how to yield to their parents, they will not know how to
yield to God. A young man once came to my office, in a Christian school. under
conviction for sin and said to me: "I have always had my own way at home and
every other place until I do not know how to surrender to God." Eli’s sons were
vile and he restrained them not." Do you? When we are lax and loose with our
children. we are making rebels of them. "He that spareth the rod hateth his son,
but the that loveth him chasteneth him be times." But you say, "Oh, but I love
my child too much to punish him!’ You do not agree with God who said, "He that
spareth the rod hateth his son.""Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let
not thy soul spare for his crying." When it hurts it helps. It is easy to let
sympathy smother out our intelligent love.

Restraint is difficult, but it is a parental duty. When to say no and yes: when
to let them go and when to make them stay is the test of our love and better
judgment. When it endangers their morals or souls, say no. Let us he kind but
firm. Parents must decide and act together. If father tells them to do one thing
and mother another, authority is divided and destroyed. When mother buts in when
father is correcting the child, his influence is canceled, and the child rebels
against his own soul and resents his own protection.Parents disagreeing and
arguing in the presence of their children is one of the most fatal sins against
themselves and their children. Interfering with discipline so sorely needed in
this rebellious generation is a crime against God and your children. Do not
plead the child’s case. butback your companion in his or her effort to hold them
in the right path. When the father is administering corporal punishment, the
mother must not but in, though the child may scream andcry. If he cries, "Oh you
are killing me, etc.," just remember that it helps when it hurts, and"With hold
not correction from the child : for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall
not die,"though he does yell like it. Of course the rod is not the only remedy,
but it is the most needed remedy these days, because the most neglected. Parents
should never give way in anger and beat their children, but they must be firm
and kind, or lose their children. Where there are so many allurements all about
them, there must be a strong, loving, restraining hand, or our children
willdrift and rush to destruction with the wrong crowd. It takes more love to
hold them in and lead them to Christ, than it does to relieve our nerves by
letting them go to destruction. It must be done in the right spirit, with the
right purpose ever before us -- for their good, not our vengeance."Father’s,
provoke not your children to wrath, lest they be discouraged, but bring them up
in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." We must not embarrass or humiliate
them in the presence of others, except in extreme and rare cases. Many mothers
and fathers bring up their children in idleness, while they themselves become
slaves for their children, with the result that their children become slave
masters over their parents. If you want your children to love you, let them
serve you. Receiving makes one selfish, while giving and helping others makes
one unselfish and kind. If you raise your children in idleness, they will waste
your substance and may let you die in the poor house, while they die in the
prison house. Luxury and laziness ruin more children than all other things. Let
them learn to bear responsibility and learn to work hard and long if you want to
save them. "Idle brains are the devil’s workshop and idle hands are his tools."

8. We must take our children to Sunday School and have them stay for church if
we want them to be Christians.

If we send them to church and stay at home ourselves, they will soon follow our
example instead of the preacher. If we take them to church and then turn them
loose to roam the streets whilewe stay for church, the devil and the wrong crowd
will get them. I thank God for strict parents who took me to church and Sunday
School and kept me till all was over. Did you ever hear any one say,"I thank God
for lax parents who sent me to church while they stayed at home?" Or. "I thank
Godthat my parents let me go home while they enjoyed church?" No, and you never
will. Children raised like that do not thank God or their parents. If they stay
in school all week, they should beable to remain in church a short while on
Sunday. You may lose them after you do your best, but you will never win them to
Christ by letting them neglect His house and run to swift destruction.It is here
that they learn to reverence God and their parents. Irreverence and rebellion go
togetherin this generation. You must hold them in while they form the right
habits and get right with God.Teach them to respect God and his house and you
will never be sorry.

9. Then you should lead them to Christ by leading them to the altar.

It is not commendable for parents who profess high states of grace to stand
still while the spirit of God moves in the service, and never invite their
children to the altar or pray for them if they do go. So oft I have had parents
ask me to invite their children to the altar when they had not done so
themselves. Human love, plus divine love, ought to do more than divine love
alone. If you have not lived so that your children trust you and want your
religion, confess your sin and ask their forgiveness, and get something that you
can recommend to them. If you have lived right before them, do not let the devil
bluff you out. When they grow up and live or die in sin, you will hate your
cowardice when it is too late. If our parents would do their duty before, during
and after the revival, pastors and evangelists would find it easier to help them
win their loved ones to Christ.Let us put their salvation first; all else
second. When our loved ones come to the altar to seek God, let us avoid the two
extremes of either being too careless and harsh, or too soft and indulgent. God
loves our children, but he does not allow any more for them than others. They
must repent, confess and forsake their sins before God can save them. Tears and
compassion, mixed with our exhortations will give them courage and determination
to yield all to God so that he can save them. We cannot force them to be
Christians against their will; neither can we force God to save them against his
holy commandments. They must meet his conditions before he can meet their need.
It does not take a seeking soul long to finda seeking Saviour. We must put their
salvation before food, clothes, education, sleep or any other fleeting earthly
interest. If we are more interested in the newspaper than the Bible, and in the
latest radio news than we are in hearing from heaven, our children will not be
well impressed by our lack of piety. If they are not saved, let it be their
fault, not our responsibility.

10. Finally, for our children, it is not enough to get them well saved; we must
do all in our power to keep them saved. The greatest sin of parents and churches
is to get souls saved and then leave them to their enemies, without further
manifested interest. If mothers gave their new-born babes no more careand
attention than most parents and churches do their young converts, this
generation would be the last one on earth. Spasmodic religion will not do for us
or our loved ones. We must watch over, council and pray for and with our
converted loved ones. Be careful about criticizing them for their faults and
blunders, but encourage, comfort and instruct them in the way of God more
perfectly.This fleeting life will soon he over. They soon grow up and drift out
into the world without us. Letus get them right and keep them right and we shall
have less to regret. I shall never forget the first time I went away from home
to work when I was a boy Christian. My mother was silent for a few moments while
her throat cleared up, and then she said : "Arthur, I could never stand to see
you go out into the world alone if you were not a Christian." As I crossed the
old rail fence across my path, I broke down and cried, and thanked God that I
had Christ to go with me and comfort mother while I was away. Forty years have
passed since that parting, and that same wonderful Christ has gone with me up
and down the paths of life and helped me to live so that I am not afraid for my
mother or my own children to know my record or follow my unworthy example. Those
who grewup in my home and community without Christ have taught me what it would
have cost me not to be a Christian.

Children, young people and other unsaved loved ones in your home; may I have a
word with you? How are you responding to the good lives and influences of those
who love and live for Christ and you in your home? After they have done their
best, you can reject their invitation andturn Christ away from your lives and be
lost forever. Mother’s prayers may follow you the wholelife through, but you
will have to give up your sin and rebellion and return to God or die and be
separated from them and lost from God and your loved ones forever. Mothers
prayers are not enough; only God can save you, and he cannot save you without
your yielding consent.

Unsaved husband or wife, how long will you make it hard on your Christian
companion by neglecting or rebelling against their God and your own soul? Why
delay and grieve God and your loved one and lose your own soul. Humble yourself
now and yield all to God before it is too late to pray. If you are too wrapped
up in the things of time to pray or repent, ask yourself this question:"What
shall it profit a man or woman if he or she shall gain the whole world and lose
his or her own soul?" Your companion has fought a hard battle without your help
and encouragement. Willyou not join them now before it is too late for you and
your children charged to you, as much as toy our companion. If we can save our
homes, we can save our nation and the world. If our homes are lost, all is lost.
Let us arrange now with God and heaven to have a happy family circle here, and
ahappier family reunion in heaven.

11. Just a final word to that struggling Christian companion who has to live
with an unsaved husband or wife.

We know how lonely and tried you often become, fighting your battles all alone
or often against the evil influence of that unsaved loved one, but you must not
give up till the last effort is made and the last day has been lived. Do not
tease and worry your unsaved loved one until you drive them away ; neither give
them up in indifference or despair. Select your opportunities and do all in your
power to win them, and to get them under the influence of other Christians who
want to help you. Be very careful not to say anything about your trials or
fellow Christians which might discourage them or give them grounds for
bitterness or criticism of other Christians. If you do not always hold up so
well under their opposition or abuse, when you realize your failure, fix your
part and go on with God. There is nothing to go back to, and they will never be
saved by your surrender. They are watching your life and being oft influenced
when they would not let you know it for anything. It is their misery that makes
them so hateful. One godless husband had tried his wife for years and was almost
ready to yield to God. But he said to himself, "I am going to try my wife to the
limit once more: if she holds up under the trial I shall yield to God myself."
With the bitterest words he abused and misused her. The same devil who inspired
him to so use her said to her, "You have stood it long enough: there is no hope
for him and you cannot live longer under it just give up and give him what is
coming to him and have it all over with." She yielded and gave him a terrible
scathing for his wickedness and abuse through all the long years. Where upon he
broke down and cried and replied, "Wife I had been watching you for all this
time and had planned to yield to God if you had stood under this trial." God
bless our Christian companions who endure such abuse and contradiction from
unsaved loved ones. You cannot afford to give up and over.Your own soul and that
of your children are at stake. "Ye have not yet resisted unto blood." "Be thou
faithful in death and I will give thee a crown of life that fadeth not away," as
do all earthly things. The toils of the road will seem nothing when he or she
tumbles in and is soundly converted. The family altar will be blessed when he or
she joins in. But if they do not yield, the end willcome to your struggles when
begins a never ending world of joy and victory, and sorrow and sighing flee
away. Win your children if possible. Often hard fathers are won by the tears of
little children when they resist all others. Then we have the problem of living
with unsaved brothers and sisters. It is a common thing for those of the same
household to be divided here and hereafter. Salvation is a personal matter.One
brother or sister may become a devout and humble Christian, while another rebels
and lives alife of sin and shame. I knew two boys who grew up in the same
Christian home with a godly minister for their father. One yielded to God and is
now preaching the gospel; the other made plenty of money, lived the life of a
drunkard; died in the chain gang and was sent home in a rough prison coffin. It
is up to you young people, as to which road you take, the kind of life you live
andthe kind of death you die; as well as the influence you leave behind for
coming generations, while you are in heaven or in hell. When our loved ones are
going from us, our greatest joy will be that we have been faithfuland won them
to Christ. Our greatest sorrow will be that we have neglected their souls and
that they may have died unprepared. What we or they have gained of earthly
wealth will fade as worthless than nothing, when we or they pass beyond and
leave behind a train of sorrow and a wail ofwoe.

Just a word of confidential confession to awaken us all to the fact that our
earth relationswill soon be separated in death. In my childhood my own dear
father was a noble and devoutChristian whose life made deep and lasting
impressions on my young life. While he died a nobleman, I do not know how it was
with his soul. During the years he got mixed up in church quarrels and became
bitter and revengeful and lost interest in spiritual things. He largely
substituted his newspaper for him, Bible, and the family altar died down. Some
years later I was converted andendured much trials because of his bitter
attitudes. More years passed and God helped me to liveso that he trusted me as
no other boy that he had. In later years I was out walking in the orchard back
of the old home. When I chanced to return to the house, my precious father was
sitting out on the porch, leaning his head on his arm on the post of his chair.
A heavenly voice spoke very definitely to me saying, "Go and put your arms
around your father’s neck and tell him how much you love and appreciate him and
his faithfulness in laboring to bring you up; and then tell him how you remember
the devoted Christian life that he once lived. Then tell him, how much you long
for him to come back and live like he once lived." My frame trembled and the
tears flowed. I saw later why, I was so moved upon, but the devil said, "Do not
do it; your father will not understand or appreciate it. He has never kissed you
since your childhood and does not care for such softness, etc." I battled with
great emotion as Ithen looked on My father, whose picture on the porch that day
I still remember as yesterday. But I finally yielded and let him pass unwarned
and unsaved. A year or so later I found out why I was so moved that day to win
my own precious father back to God. While I was working on the bank building at
West Asheville, N. C., a neighbor boy came across the street, looked up and
called tome: "Mr. Vess, your father is dead." So stunned I could not realize it,
I staggered down confused and bewildered with the awfuland sudden shock. When I
came to myself, I cried out in agony because my father was dead, and because I
had failed to warn him some months before, when God was trying to get him ready
for that hour through his unworthy son. While writing these lines the tears
again flow, but it is forever too late to warn or win my precious father. He
died after only an hour or so of terrible and unexpected illness, only a few
months younger than I am now. But you say, "How did he die?" I do not know; only
that he died praying while suffering awful agony in body and soul. He believed
in"Eternal Security" too long, I fear. As I looked on his dead form and saw the
hands that had toiled for me, I remembered my last opportunity to warn and woo
him when it was forever past.

What about our loved ones who are still with us and will soon be parted from us
by our death or theirs? What are we doing about it? Letting them grow up or live
on unwarned and unsaved? Let us win them before it is too late, when we have to
look on their dead bodies, forsaken by their lost souls, when "the harvest is
past and the summer is ended and they are not saved." When we meet them at the
judgment, and some shall go away into everlasting punishment,and the righteous
into life eternal. what about that last good-bye or good morning forever. Which
will it be? Much depends on how we live and the interest we take in them here
and now. Do not delay, but win them today.


========================================================================
  CHAPTER 3: 03 - HOW TO WIN AN UNSAVED HUSBAND
========================================================================

Chapter 3. How To Win An Unsaved Husband 03 -- How To Win An Unsaved Husband In
First Peter three, one to seven, we have very careful directions by which a
Christian wife may win her unsaved husband to Christ. There are many godly wives
who bear great griefand suffer much because of unsaved husbands who oppose them
and hinder their efforts for the salvation of their family. Some of these most
opposing husbands have been won to Christ and have made fine, Christian
husbands. They are often hard to live with because they are under conviction.Let
us not give them up till God gives them up. The faithful wife often asks, "How
can I win my husband to Christ?" Let us follow the Apostle Peter in trying to
answer this great question: First, she must win him by showing him all due
respect and consideration.

"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection (or submission) to your own husbands." If
she does not respect him as her husband and the head of the household in all
matters not involving conscience, she cannot win him to Christ. A bossy, manish,
nagging wife may drive her husband to hell, but she cannot win him to God. She
must set the example before he can follow. She must win him as a wife before she
can win him as a Christian. In respecting her "own husband,’ she must avoid all
appearances of undue familiarity withother men, good and bad, including her
pastor. A pure, holy, Christian wife may let her desire for Christian
companionship become a snare to her soul. That godless, brutish husband may take
warning lest he drive his pure wife out of his own life into the arms of another
lover. The pastor of such wives must be very careful lest he offend that unsaved
husband and blight his own life. Let the wife see that she respect her husband
at all costs, or she will never win him to Christ.

Second, by careful, holy living she may win him. "If some disbelieve, the
Message, apart from the Message, they may be won over by the daily life of their
wives, after watching your life daily -- so full of reverence and blameless." To
live where all the desires and aims of the wife and husband disagree, requires
much grace and patience. Sainthood makes it possible. Her husband may ignore the
preacher and the Church, but the daily life of his godly wife rebukes his sin
and invites him to Christ. "That they, without the word, may be won by behavior
of their wives; beholding their chaste conversation coupled with fear." Under
pressure, she may occasionally have to say, "Forgive me, husband;" but when he
cools off, he knows who was at fault. The trials may be many and hard, but when
he falls at the altar, or calls her for prayer at midnight and prays though, she
will be glad that she held on, kept upthe family altar and was faithful to the
Church. Living holy will accomplish miracles.

She is to win her husband by leaving off all worldly show and vanity. "Whose
adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of the plaiting of the hair, and
the wearing of Gold, or the putting on of apparel." Weymouth puts it: "putting
on jewelry, or the wearing of beautiful dresses." A woman who worships outward
vanity more than God or her husband has little influence with either. If she
mocks her piety with her vanity, he will do it with his heart and lips. If you
will not give up your idols, he will not give up his. Leaving off all vanity and
jewelry may offend his pride, but it will convict his conscience in harmony with
the Word. You cannot grieve God to please your husband, and have God save your
husband. God is first.When you drive God out, you drive your companion away.
Plaiting or curling your hair, wearingjewelry and fine clothes are forbidden as
a means to winning your husband to Christ. Many wives have driven their husbands
from them and to hell by their costly vanity and pride. Many a woman has got the
ring or dress she wanted, but lost her husband and family. Humility is the way
to God and the heart of your husband.

She may win him by heavenly adornment and radiance. "But let it be the hidden
man (woman) of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of
a meek and quiet spirit, which in the sight of God is of great price" or value.
It is not the show of vanity and pride, but the manifestation of humility and
grace that gets the endorsementof God and your husband, and your own intelligent
conscience. A radiant, quiet spirit in the hour oftrial will do more to win your
husband and family than all your frills, glitter of gold, and parade offine
clothes. Yes, the radiant, angel face of the martyr Stephen won the heart of
Saul, the "chief of sinners." "The ornament of a meek and quiet spirit" did it.
This message is to "wives; "married women". God makes no exception for them. A
pure, incorruptible heart, and a meek and resigned spirit need no outer symbol
of gold. An outer symbol of show of religion or loyalty are both insincere and
repulsive to God and man. If the wife really loves Christ and her husband in
herheart, her life of loving devotion will convince her husband without any
outer show or labels. It is your countenance, words, deeds, attitudes that
express your reality and convince your husband and please God. You may win him
by following the examples of old-fashioned holy women of past ages. The marks of
humility, sainthood and devotion to God and others have been the same in
alltimes and place. Listen: For after this manner the old time, holy women also
who trusted in God adorned themselves, being in subjection (submission) to their
own husbands. Here Peter made asweeping statement : that holy women of all ages
have adorned themselves in modest apparel without fussing with their hair,, or
the wearing of jewelry or fine clothes. Women who "trust inGod" and conform to
His standards are worthy of the trust of their husbands and all others. Whenthe
heart is right, no outer reminders are necessary, but are repulsive. No husband
ever praised his wife or children for their vanity and pride; but for their
humility, modesty, purity, love, and devotion.

Sarah, the model mother of the Scriptures is held up as an example of true wives
and mothers who reverence and respect their husbands and love and serve their
families. A wife can never win her husband by putting him before God, but he
must come next. She cannot stay away from Church or go with him to the sinful
places of pleasure, but she must love and respect him if she is ever to win him
to Christ. By prayer and simple, modest, pure, holy living she will make an
impression on her husband and children that they will never forget not get away
from in time or eternity, no matter how or where they spend either. If she is
faithful, she will stand a good chance to win them to Christ and be rewarded by
God as if she had, whatever they may do. May Godbless and give you faith and
patience to triumph for God and your family.

Unsaved husband and children, why grieve your wife and mother and God Almighty,
and blight and wreck your own lives and lose your souls? Why not yield your life
to Jesus Christ and have a happy home here on earth, and an unbroken family
circle in Heaven?


========================================================================
  CHAPTER 4: 04 - HOW TO GET SAVED
========================================================================

Chapter 4. How To Get Saved 04 -- How To Get Saved

How may we get saved and know that, we are saved? The greatest question ever
asked by a human being was asked by the Philippian Jailer, when he asked Paul
and Silas, "What must I do to be saved?" Every person is either saved or lost.
But what does it mean to be saved? It means to be saved from all sin, with all
its wickeddesires, habits and conduct; and, to be forgiven for all our past sins
against God, ourselves and all others. It means to be saved from all the
condemnation and corruption of sin, and adopted into God’s family. "The wages of
sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life, through Jesus Christ
ourLord," who died that we might live. Sin brings forth death, but grace brings
forth life and peace.

There are two parts to our getting saved, namely: God’s part, and our part. God
convicts us for our sins, then saves us, after we repent and trust Him.

Conviction for sin comes to our hearts when the Holy Spirit awakens us and makes
us realize how wicked and sinful we are; and that we are ruined and lost without
God’s salvation.After God shows us what a wicked and lost sinner we are, then we
must repent of all our sins, and look up and trust Him to save us from all our
sins. What do we mean by repentance? Sin is rebellion against God, inspired by
the devil. Repentance is the reversal of that rebellion to contrition,
submission and confidence in God."Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand."
"Except ye repent ye will all likewise perish."Contrition for sin means great
sorrow and remorse for all our past sinful life and conduct. "Godly sorrow
worketh repentance." We feel so sinful and wicked before God and man, and
unworthy of the love of either.

Contrition and sorrow for sin naturally produces the confession of, and for our
sins to God and all others we have sinned against. This includes restitution, or
the paying for all that we have stolen from others, or cheated them out of; and
confession for all unkind words, slander, etc.

Then we must hate and forsake all sin. "Good-bye, old world, I’m through." We
abhor the old sin life, and turn and flee from It, crying for mercy. Repentance
alone will not save us, but it does bring us to the place where God can, and
will, save us. We must confess and forsake our sins before God can forgive us of
our sins.

After our repentance is real and complete, we must trust God to save us. There
are two reasons why we must trust God to save us: First, because we cannot save
ourselves; second,because God can and will save us. We do not have to persuade
God to save us, but let Him save us. When we uncover our sins, he will cover
them by the blood of Jesus. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to
forgive us of our sins." God loves us and wants to forgive us. "For God so loved
the world that he gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him
should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not His Son into the
world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved."

Faith is the final and only condition of salvation. Repentance reverses our
rebellious attitude and enables us to trust God. Faith and trust restores us to
favor and fellowship with God.He made us to trust and love Him. "Therefore being
justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." "He
that cometh to God must believe that He is; and that He is a rewarder of them
that diligently seek Him." There is every reason to trust God, and not one
reason to doubt Him. When we get to the place where God can trust us, it is not
hard to trust Him. He is able and willing to save us, for He loved us so much
that He gave His son to die for us.

Oh seeking soul, if you have repented and forsaken all your sins, look up right
now and trust Him with all your heart, and He will save you this very moment,
and write your name down in heaven, and make you a new creature in Christ Jesus,
and you will know that you are saved."Praise God from whom all blessings flow!"
"The Spirit Himself beareth witness with our spirit that we are the children of
God." "We know that we have passed from death unto life," free from all storm
and strife. We have the witness within, that we are now saved from all sin. The
greatest thing in the world is the most real thing in the world, our own,
personal salvation. Read the bookof I John, and watch the word "know." It is not
a "hope-so," but a "know-so" salvation.


========================================================================
  CHAPTER 5: 05 - WILL THE CIRCLE BE UNBROKEN?
========================================================================

Chapter 5. Will The Circle Be Unbroken?

05 -- Will The Circle Be Unbroken?

There are loved ones in the glory, Whose dear forms we often miss; When you
close your earthly story, Will you meet them in their bliss? In the joyous days
of childhood, Oft they told of wondrous love; Pointed to the dying Saviour, Now
they dwell with him above. You remember songs of heaven, Which you sang with
childish voice; Do you love the hymns they taught you, Or are songs of earth
your choice? You can picture happy gatherings, Round the fire side long ago, And
you think of tearful partings, When they left you here below. One by one their
seats were emptied, One by one they went away, Now the family is parted, Will it
be complete some day? Chorus Will the circle be unbroken By and by, by and by?
In that better home awaiting, In the sky, in the sky?


========================================================================
  CHAPTER 6: 06 - PAMPHLET
========================================================================

Our Lost Loved Ones And How To Win Them Edited from a pamphlet by Arthur L. Vess
"Thou shalt be saved, and thy house" (Acts 16:31).

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not
depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6).

Whatever else we may do for our loved ones, all is lost if they are lost. Some
children and older ones seem by nature to be easier or harder to win to Christ
than others, but the more difficult the task the more effort we should put
forth. The possibility of being separated from them for all eternity to their
eternal sorrow, should awaken each of us to allow nothing to hinder our every
effort to win our loved ones to Christ. When we see them die without Christ, we
shall wonder why we let foolish bashfulness or backwardness, or the cares of
this life, keep us from doing our best to win them to Christ before it was
forever too late. The great question remains: How shall we win our loved ones to
Christ?

We must be sure of our own right relationship to Christ and them. If we are dead
and dry in our own experience, we cannot help them to a real, bright and clear
Christian experience. If we are earth-minded, careless and prayerless, we have
nothing to offer them until we get right ourselves. We must have a living fire
in our own hearts, shining out through our eyes, and radiating through our own
words and deeds, if we would impress and win them for Christ. A dead soul cannot
give life to a dead soul. Backslidden parents and companions cannot lead their
loved ones to Christ. Our next responsibility and opportunity is to live the
Christ life in the presence of our loved ones. It takes a holy life to generate
holy influence. Christian carefulness, in word and deed, should be our daily
conduct. We must watch our conversation and avoid questionable remarks in their
presence. We must be especially careful in our expressions about other
Christians and ministers of the Gospel.

We must also be more careful in our business dealings, not only to deal
according to Bible principles, but to impress upon our loved ones that we are
more in love with our fellows than with their property. We must lay up for
ourselves treasures in heaven in the form of the souls of our precious loved
ones, instead of material wealth on earth. "For where your treasure is, there
will your heart be also" (Matthew 6:21).

If we are to win our loved ones for Christ, we must do it through prayer, and
even fastings. In different cases earnest and constant prayer and fastings will
be very much needed: "Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting"
(Matthew 17:21). If we are not earnest enough to fast, can we expect God to
answer? If we could see them in hell, we would fast and pray. If we would only
take the same careful precautions and preparation, and then put forth as much
interest for the souls of our families as we do their bodies, many of them now
lost would be saved.

Then we should manifest a radiant, trusting attitude toward God and our loved
ones. We cannot win them to Christ in careless neglect; neither can we win them
by being blue and despondent about them all the while. If our salvation does not
satisfy us, how can we expect others to want it? There is a difference in
religious blues and a burden for the lost, born in faith and gratitude toward
God and in tender love for our lost ones. We can feel a deep concern, and yet
trust God while we carry it. A minister’s wife prayed all night for her lost son
in a distant city and came home from church the next morning shouting. The son
who had been restless all night decided to come home and was saved at the very
hour that his mother "prayed through" and began shouting the victory. "According
to your faith be it unto you" (Matthew 9:29).

Parents should take special time for the spiritual instruction of their
children. The deep impressions made on children’s minds and consciences warrant
any and every effort. Hearing their parents call their name in prayer, or
listening to their kindly instructions and admonitions, move children’s hearts
more than we know. There is a thirst in human hearts for God and reality greater
than their thirst for natural bread and water - if parents only realized it in
time. Our family worship should afford a special time to refresh and instruct
us. Instead of waiting till we are tired and worn, until we cannot really pray,
we should select a time best suited for the most important part of our family
life, and worship God in Spirit and in truth. We should make it a time of
reverence and thanksgiving. It is a good time to sing some hymn or spiritual
song and make melody in our hearts and in our homes. This is a good time to
inquire into the children’s spiritual needs and conditions and give testimony to
God’s wonderful grace and help.

Special personal instruction should be given to each member of the family at set
times. John Wesley’s mother had nineteen children besides her duties as a
pastor’s wife, but she gave one hour of personal instruction to each child each
week. But you say, "I just cannot take time for such duties." "Life is more than
meat, and the body more than raiment" (Luke 12:23). How oft we feed the bodies
of our children and other loved ones, and then send them out with starving
souls. How much time do you spend with your children’s souls? When shall we lead
our loved ones to Christ? We cannot do it too early, but we may wait too late.
The devil begins in their early months and years. Let us win them for Christ
before Satan wins them. We must begin while they are young and tender, or wait
till they are hard and rebellious. We must do our best to get them in before
they are tied up to sinful companions and habits, before their important choices
are made without Christ.

Children learn more in the first three years of their lives than any other like
period. The first seed sown in their hearts springs up first. Most great men and
women have been converted in early childhood.

Bishop Taylor was converted at six years, Richard Baxter at three years, John
Fletcher at seven years, Bishop Asbury at seven years, Adoniram Judson at twelve
years, Matthew Henry at ten years, Jonathan Edwards at six years, Isaac Watts at
eight years and Robert Moffatt at ten years. How old were you when you were
converted? How old are your children, and how many of them or other loved ones
are saved? What have you done about it? What are you going to do about it? When?

We cannot tantalize or force our loved ones to be Christian, but we can keep
loving and watching for a chance to woo or warn them. Keep at it; the devil
never lets them rest, but approaches them every time from every angle and at
every turn of the road. Does he hate them more than we love them? To train up a
child in the way they should go does not mean to turn them loose and let them
go. Most people wait till it is too late to win their loved ones. There are many
who have grown up in sin who once were tender and hungry for God.

We must discipline and restrain our children. If they do not know how to yield
to their parents, they will not know how to yield to God. When we are lax and
loose with our children, we are making rebels of them. But you say, "Oh but I
love my child too much to punish him." You do not agree with God Who said, "He
that spareth the rod hateth his son, but he that loveth him chasteneth him
betimes" (Proverbs 13:24). "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy
soul spare for his crying" (Proverbs 19:18).

Restraint is difficult, but it is a parental duty. When to say no and yes; when
to let them go and when to make them stay is the test of our love and better
judgment. When it endangers their morals or souls, say no. Let us be kind but
firm.

If you have not lived so that your children trust you and want your religion,
confess your sin and ask their forgiveness, and get something that you can
recommend to them. Let us put their salvation first; all else second. When our
loved ones come to the altar to seek God, let us avoid the two extremes of
either being too careless and harsh, or too soft and indulgent. God loves our
children, but He does not allow any more for them than others. They must repent,
confess and forsake their sins before God can save them.

We cannot force them to be Christians against their will; neither can we force
God to save them against His holy commandments. They must meet His conditions
before He can meet their need. It does not take a seeking soul long to find a
seeking Saviour. We must put their salvation before food, clothes, education,
sleep or any other fleeting earthly interest. If we are more interested in the
newspaper than the Bible, and in the latest radio news than we are in hearing
from heaven, our children will not be well impressed by our lack of piety.

Finally, for our children, it is not enough to get them well saved; we must help
them grow in salvation. The greatest sin of parents and churches is to get souls
saved and then leave them to their enemies, without further manifested interest.
If mothers gave their newborn babes no more care and attention than most parents
and churches do their young converts, this generation would be the last one on
earth. Spasmodic religion will not do for us or our loved ones. We must watch
over, counsel and pray for and with our converted loved ones. Be careful about
criticizing them for their faults and blunders, but encourage, comfort and
instruct them in the way of God more perfectly.


========================================================================
Source: https://sermonindex.net/books/vess-arthur-how-to-win-our-loved-ones-to-christ/
========================================================================