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  CHILLD UPBRINGING
  by Gbile Akanni
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Summary: Gbile Akanni emphasizes that godly child upbringing is a
lifelong commitment rooted in a strong personal relationship with
Christ, recognizing children as God's heritage rather than possessions.

Duration: 1:18:16 Topics: "Marriage and Family", "Christian Parenting"
Scripture References: Psalm 127:3, Matthew 1:19-21, Isaiah 8:18, Malachi 2:15, Genesis 1:28, Numbers 11:12

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DESCRIPTION
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In this teaching sermon, Gbile Akanni explores the biblical principles
of childbearing and godly upbringing. He stresses that children are a
blessing from God and belong to Him, urging parents to cultivate a
strong personal relationship with Christ as the foundation for effective
parenting. Gbile highlights the critical role of both parents,
especially fathers, in nurturing children during their formative years.
The sermon also warns against ungodly practices in seeking children and
encourages believers to embrace their responsibility to raise godly
seeds for God's kingdom.

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CONTENT
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Living Seed Media brings to you God's Word, which is his comprehensive
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encounter his Word. For further enquiry or counsel, contact Peace House,
PO Box 971, Boko, Benue State, Nigeria.

Telephone numbers 0703 03636 59 0703 76811 98 Email address
lsmediaatlivingseed.org Or visit our website at www.livingseed.org Let
us sit back and listen as the servant of God brings forth the Word of
Life. Praise the Lord. By the grace of God, our short time together this
evening and this seminar, we shall be looking at childbearing and
upbringing.

Childbearing and upbringing. Godly child upbringing. We are going to
begin by asking you again to look at this manual.

If you are very diligent and observant and have gone through this, you
will know that there is a whole section, a whole chapter that has been
dedicated to this. Now, the reason why I'm pointing us to this is that
whatever we are able to share this evening will just be an initiation.
You are not hearing me? Okay, you are hearing me now.

Sorry, like I was saying, that whatever God will be leading us to share
with us will be just but an initiation into this life-long commitment
that God will be demanding from us. And we would like you to go back
home to do your further studies by going through this book again. So
that's why we'll be referring to it as much as we can.

So that God could help us to maximize the use of these materials that
God is bringing across our way. So we are going to jumpstart the
seminar, the discussion. I would like my wife to just read the
introduction to this in page 121.

That's part 7 of this book. If you have it, she will read for us. And
after that, we'll be taking our bearing from that point as the Lord will
be helping us.

Mom? Praise the Lord. The introduction says, Child-bearing is one of the
God-given fruits of marriage. It is the blessing of the Lord upon the
marital union between a man and his wife.

God's plan is that children be born and brought up in marriage and not
outside it. For this reason, even though our Lord Jesus Christ was
conceived of the Holy Spirit, he had to be brought up in a proper home.
Joseph was a partner in his upbringing together with Mary, Jesus'
mother.

We'll find this in Matthew 1, 19-21. Praise the Lord. Now we are going
to start by looking at a scripture.

Psalm 127, verse 3. I would like my wife to please help us to find that
scripture and read. And then Isaiah 8, 18. And we'll be introducing this
with some issues from that scripture.

Psalm 127, verse 3. Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord, and the
fruit of the womb is his reward. Thank you. Children are the heritage of
the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

Now that's very common, very popular scriptures. But again and again,
the implications for us, they are still very, very serious and relevant.
I would like you to note some few things about it.

The first thing to note is the fact that children are not part of our
marriage. They are passengers in it. They belong to the Lord.

In fact, that scripture is very interesting. It says the fruit of the
womb is his reward. The little understanding I have there is the fact
that if you believe God has helped you, because the Bible says whosoever
finds a wife, finds a good thing, has obtained favor from what? From the
Lord.

If God indeed has blessed you, and he has brought you together in the
holy matrimony, and you want to be grateful to him, and you are looking
for how to appreciate God for your wedding, it seems that the only good
appreciation that God seems to be demanding as his own personal
commission is that your womb, your relationship, your matrimony becomes
a place for him to raise children. In other words, we must understand
this from the onset, that these children, they are not, we are only
custodians. We cannot build our lives on them.

We must not make them the alpha and the omega of our assurance and
definition for living. Now this is very critical because many times this
is the pitfall of many families, many marriages. They are wonderful,
they can be glorious when they are with us, but they are not the basis
of your joy in life.

They are not the things to decorate your life with and use as a
testimony. They are not your own. So the first place that I would like
to begin with for anybody that wants to be an effective parent and I
want to bring up children properly, is that his own personal
relationship with the Lord Jesus, his own assurance and place with God
must be settled.

If he has not found his meaning in life and his definition for living
and for marriage, those children will not give it to him. And this is
what normally leads to confusion later on in life. Several times I have
seen families of women, that it has a point where their children want to
marry, that's when they break apart.

They have so put all their eggs inside that basket. They have neglected
their own personal relationship with their wife or their husband. They
have neglected to build their own marriage.

They have not walked with God. They don't have a vision of eternity in
mind. Everything they have done, they have done it with the hope that
these children will give them every satisfaction they are looking for in
life.

I want to please quietly tell you that that's a big mistake. God has
made us for himself and nothing else is a sufficient replacement for
what Christ and Christ alone can give to us. So it looks very
fundamental, it looks elementary, but I want to assure you that if you
omit that, you will still run into this problem.

Jesus and him only is the source of all our happiness. It is him that
gives us every other thing that we need, including children. Is that
understood now? Is that understood? Yes, children will make us happy,
but the place to look for that happiness is not first of all in the
children themselves.

It is as you grow in Christ. It is as God begins to fill your life up.
It is as he begins to bring meaning and purpose and his goal into our
lives.

Only then that every other thing takes their place and they bless us. I
don't know whether my wife wants to contribute to that. Okay, I should
go on.

Now what other thing do I want to note from that point is that whereas
when we read the book of Genesis and when we see God asking Adam and Eve
to multiply and fill the world and fill the earth and reproduce
themselves, whereas in the time of Adam before the fall, biological
bearing of children was a ministry. In other words, because Adam carried
the image of God, his own children naturally were just a duplicate of
him. So for him to have children to multiply was a ministry to God.

But I want us to know that after the fall, bearing biological children
alone is no longer a ministry. Giving birth to children, no matter how
beautiful, how handsome, how good looking they are, if that is all you
did, it has no reward in heaven. Having biological children, if they are
not going to be for Jesus, if they are not going to be raised up, if
they are not going to be converted to become carriers and to serve God's
purpose, sincerely speaking, it was better that they were not born.

Now that makes us again to go ahead and note the fact that Christ's
commission for us is to raise godly seeds. Malachi, can you see that?
Malachi chapter 2 verse 15. We have read that again and again in Bible
studies.

So what is God's expectation for us as new creation man? Is that as new
creation men, our mission on earth again is still to raise godly seed
for him. Now, if that godly seeds are biological children, no problem.
But even if you don't have a biological child of your own, there are
many children everywhere and they are God's heritage.

They don't belong to anybody in particular. You see, from that scripture
we read, Psalm 127 verse 3, when the Bible says children, they are
heritage of the Lord, what it means is that even though children will
come from a family, they will bear the name of one Mr. Samson and one
Mr. Gabriel, those children don't belong to that Mr. Gabriel primarily,
they belong to God. And so whoever labors on their life, whoever leads
them to God and win their soul for Christ, they are recorded as their
crown for them.

So even if you don't have any biological children of your own, you are
still fit for the great commission. So in a situation where there is a
lust for childbearing, it is not biblical. If God desires and he has
promised that in our union, he will bless us with fruitfulness, by the
mercy of God, if he comes, we are grateful.

But if God, for some reason, does not bring it to you, you don't need to
go out of your way and pursue it in a godless manner, or else in a quest
to have children, you may go to hell. In a situation where some of us,
even though we are in the church, or because we want to have children to
show, we go to native doctors, we are taking charms, we are going to
prayer houses, they are casting incantations and demonic things upon us
that we don't know, and in our mind we think that the end justifies the
means. The end does not justify the means.

Don't seek children in an ungodly way. You will still perish with it.
Praise the Lord.

I don't know whether that is very clear to us. Now, what is the next
thing that I want us to look at as we go ahead? By the grace of God,
since the Word of God promises that we will be fruitful, our children
will be like olives, I trust that God will bless our marriage in Jesus'
name. So what are the preparations for childbearing and upbringing that
every family needs to do and put in place? I must say this, both from
personal experience, and from observation, and from scriptures.

Even though newly wedded couples expect and anticipate to have children,
it's natural. As soon as you're wedded, you know that your mother-in-law
and father-in-law, they were all quietly asking, when? Has it happened?
Sometimes they watch. When you are throwing saliva, they will come and
ask you.

Or sometimes when, as a newly married woman, you have a fever, you know
they warn you not to take chloroquine. They say it may not be an
ordinary fever. Is that not so? Nah, they are all expectations.

But unfortunately, may I tell you, many couples, in Christian couples,
I'm talking about even Christian couples, are not always prepared for
their first child. They take it for granted. They assume it.

And I've seen the devil take advantage many times. Many times, they are
still celebrating their honeymoon. They are still in the utopia of
marriage, and visiting when the child comes, everybody comes around.

They don't have personal commitment. They have not adjusted to receive
that child. And the implications are normally very bad.

So you now see that if you take a survey, you will see it, many first
born of many families, they are normally problematic. If you check it,
you will discover that many times in Christian homes, many first born
children in those homes, many times it's the grace of God. Because as it
were, normally we say they were born in the wilderness.

So in order to be able to bring up our children very well, there must be
a definite preparation and adjustment. The reason is this. In child
upbringing, the best period, the best time to get the maximum out of
every child is the first 6-7 years of a child's life.

If you miss those 6-7 years, your journey will be long. Those first
crawling, infant, slow years of a child's life are the best and the most
fruitful period of any learning process in any man. And that's the time
that, like I was saying, many couples are careless.

That's the time that the man is pursuing a greater breakthrough in
ministry. That is when he is accepting transfer. That is when the mother
is in Sokoto, the father has been posted to Ibadan, and as long as the
salary is coming fine, they think it's alright.

In their mind, they are quickly trying to go and make money so that they
can build a house and settle down, so that when the child grows up, they
will now have enough to take of the child. Unfortunately, the children
don't wait for you. So many times, that omission normally leaves the
first child unaffected.

Most of what they get, they get it in the church. They always follow you
to church. They are in the devotion.

The disciples are helping you to carry them. Everybody, brethren are
carrying them. Your grandmother is carrying you.

So you are quickly trying to get more jobs, catching on more
certificates, get more education. I'm telling you, many parents know
that. That is why if you also take a survey, you will discover that
after the first experience, you will discover that they now become
serious with the second and the third child.

That ought not to be so. So the first thing is that there is a mindset
that you must have. And that is the fact that the first few years of the
child's life, those first six years, they are the years where you can
mold the child.

That's where you break every difference. That's where a little spank
with your finger will send in a message. That's where you watch for the
old man.

Most of the things that make them hard, by the time they are 16 and 17,
when they begin to enter their early adulthood, and you become very
hard, it is that omission at that period. Even you, you will bear me
witness that when they come to that period, flogging doesn't work any
longer. Sometimes you yourself, when you are beating them, you will be
crying.

So let's prepare to receive them. It's the first critical thing. You may
need to resign your job if your job is a problem.

You may need to look for a smaller job for the time being, because
raising children for God is a ministry. And I tell you, maybe when we
have time later on, we'll be looking at the reward of it. What it is.

When the Bible said concerning Jochebed and the family, when they said
they saw that Moses was a proper child. And I want you to know that all
the children that God gives to us, they are proper children. Praise the
Lord.

I don't know whether my wife wants to... I should continue. Now, so what
is the implication of that? The implication is that every child needs
both parents. It is... I know it is African culture to think that the
person to nurse a baby is the mother.

So we have nursing mothers. But I want you to know that we have nursing
fathers. The Bible recognizes nursing fathers.

Would you like to check that for us? In Numbers chapter 11 verse 12. To
see that when it comes to children upbringing, we have both nursing
mothers and nursing fathers. Our children... Somebody found it.

My wife will read for us. Numbers 11 verse 12. Now you see, that's Moses
defining what God has asked him to do.

The care that God wanted him to give the children of Israel was not
different from what a nursing father should do. Fathers, are we here
now? Excuse me, when it comes to child upbringing and childbearing, what
are you? Nursing father, not absentee father. The absence of a father
figure, a present available father figure, in children's life affects
them adversely.

And you don't know how bad it is. You discover that in our culture, once
a woman delivers, the man is off. He can't even go to London and be
there for two years.

Once he's sending feeding bottle money and nanny and he's sending mother
care. You know those clothes, they call mother care. The truth is this.

Do you also notice in our generation that even the school that your
children will go to, primary and nursery school, who constitutes the
highest number of teachers in terms of genders there? Women. So your
child's all the first six or seven years of his life is only interacting
with women. It's not good.

The father must be available. He must partake. Whereas he may not go
into the nitty-gritty.

He doesn't have to breastfeed. Of course, he doesn't have a breast for
that. And all of that.

But he must be there. He must be talking to the child. He must be seen
to be talking to the mother.

They must be living. We come into that. It's very critical.

Praise the Lord. What is the other thing I wanted to add to that before
I still find out whether my wife wants to come in is the fact that...
What was that? Except you tell me why you are laughing, I will not
continue again. Okay.

It's all right. She said I should continue. Now, what is the other quiet
thing that we must note is the fact that we must be careful that we
don't throw our children to surrogates.

In a situation where your child is two years, you send him or her to
crèche, what are you looking for in life? Now, many of you here that are
teachers, you know that another name for teacher is cheater. Oh, you
don't know. I know we have good teachers now.

God has helped us over the years. But you cannot delegate child
upbringing. We know that there are children that are born without
parents, without father, without a mother.

I want to tell you that such ones, God takes care of them. God is your
father and your mother, but not you, that you are a father and mother,
you are alive. God holds you responsible.

So do not be quick to throw your children to hands, not even
grandparents. A situation where you deliver a child, and quickly you
bundle the child and send him or her to your village, or to your
grandmother, so that you can be free to be a working class lady, is not
good enough. Children, parents, many times from my experience,
grandparents oftentimes, they are very happy.

But I know if you don't take time, they will make a pet out of your
child. They will pet the child until the child becomes a pet. Except if
God has helped them, and there are also people that God has helped, and
they have raised up children very well.

But even those that are very firm, they normally have weakness for their
grandchildren, so you must be careful. God is holding you responsible.
And sometimes, many of us, in the name of good school, once you see a
school that is called Christian school, once they just lay by a
Christian school, and they say the Lord's Prayer in the assembly, tooth
and nail, you carry your child and go and dump there, and you think that
they will work the magic for you.

Sorry. Even we that are parents, that are taking responsibility, that
Bible verse also told us that except the Lord does what? God builds a
house. So that is why you see, those of us that are parents in Cavalier
Row, you will discover that one of the key core values of Cavalier Row
is parents-teachers relationship.

You cannot come to Cavalier Row and dump your child and go away. They
will not agree. Now, that's teaching responsibilities.

And by the grace of God, God has honored it so much in the life of those
children. So let me note there that you must be willing to be available.
You must adjust your career.

And if you are not ready for it, if there is another master's degree
program that you want to go and collect, why don't you wait until you
are ready so that you don't make a shipwreck of this? Thank you. Praise
the Lord. Sorry, I want to contribute on the issue of being available.

I want to say that if for some reason the father has to be absent
physically, he must not be absent spiritually. And then the woman has
the role of letting the father know how the child is doing so that he
doesn't come in and there is a gap in his knowledge of the child. What
do I mean by that? You can help the father to know the child and to
contribute to the upbringing of the child by letting him know exactly
what is going on with the child so that when the father is coming to
talk to the child, maybe it's on a matter that you have discussed with
the child and you have concluded, let the father not come and start all
over as if nothing was ever done.

You let the father know how far you have gone, where you are, and when
he now comes in, he is coming in as a continuation of where you have
stopped with the child. And I want to say that it is very important so
that both of you can have one voice. It's not a situation where the
mother has done something with the child and the father now comes
because he doesn't have a background knowledge of what has really
happened.

He brings a contradictory statement or he does something contradictory.
First, it will cause a rift between the husband and the wife and then it
gives the child a gap where he can misbehave. You know, these children,
they are very wise.

As tiny as they are, they know how to twist people. They can twist you
on their little finger and when they know that their mother is the one
that is soft, that's their landing place. But if at all times you keep
each other abreast of what you are doing with each child, then it makes
your role in their lives very easy to maintain.

And then a situation where everything a child does, the mother says,
until your father comes back. And then, if the father doesn't come back,
that's the end of that matter. It's also not good enough.

The two of us must come to a point where we have one voice over their
upbringing and this can happen as our communication is open and we keep
telling each other what exactly is going on with the other person. I
remember not too long ago, there was a matter with my daughter and I
said, why didn't you tell me when this thing happened? And the answer
she gave me was very funny. She said, I told your husband and I expected
your husband to tell you.

I know with most men, if you tell them something, sometimes that's the
end of that thing. It's only when it comes up again that they say, oh,
sorry, I forgot. I should have told you.

I want to say to our husbands, please, tell us quickly so that we don't
start struggling and the child knows that you are struggling to know him
because he only discussed with his father and the father has not shared
with the mother. It will become a problem. So let's learn to share with
each other very quickly over the children so that we can have one voice
when we are now talking to them.

Praise the Lord. Thank you. That is it, and I thought she has forgiven
me.

Now, but let's underscore what we are saying. You know that generally in
looking at the makeup of men and women, again and again, as you keep
following and keep listening and following us in the marriage seminars,
especially when our father in the Lord is dealing with roles and
responsibility, and if you read some of our books like the No More Two,
you will discover that there are some things that are peculiar to men,
negatively and positively. One of it is impatience to listen.

When you want to become a father, you must be a man that is ready to
take gist from your wife or else you will not be a good father. A
situation where your child, five-year-old child, went to the nurse's
house and slapped another child, it's an issue. And when your wife comes
and is looking for an opportunity to download so that you can follow,
but you are too busy, you don't have time for such nonsense.

And the truth is that when you have men who don't have time, it becomes
increasingly difficult for their wives to start sharing such details
with them, so she just ignores it. This is not good for child
upbringing. So communication, a husband, a leader, one of the things
that a leader must be, he must be a communicator, he must be a listener.

Even if you say that's not how I am born, that's not my psychological
makeup, I am sanguine and all of those things, you must change when you
want to start having children. Praise the Lord. Let me quickly go into
the next implication and early preparations.

Now, as soon as children start coming in, by the grace of God, one of
the things that is a big responsibility for the father, especially, and
for the mother, I'm saying this because even if the mother didn't do it,
is that the parents must continually seek for the definition of that
child's life, in terms of what is God's purpose for that child's life.
Why is God bringing this child? And many times, when you have parents
that are seeking, that's when they get even the names for the children.
Genuine parents do not just name their children after one God of Shango
and God of Olokun.

You don't name your child after the sound of a broken plate, bang, bang,
bang. The reason is that the names you call those children, they follow
them. If you call him Death Stone, he will just be a stone all his life.

So we must begin by seeking a definition. It is our responsibility to
hold God's hand, to show us what is the purpose for this child. Do you
know what I believe? You may not agree with me.

It is that meaninglessness and lack of preparation in most parents that
you find that in the Bible, any time God has a great purpose on the
earth that he does not want to fail, and he wants to be sure that this
purpose will be accomplished, the first thing he wants to do is to
secure the attention and commitment of the womb and the parents where
that child is going to come from. Most cases, they are barren. Samuel,
John the Baptist, Samson, and many others.

The reason is because each of those children that you see that God
brings into our life, each and every one of them have great and definite
purpose. They didn't just come to the earth to decorate you. Sometimes,
if God is not sure whether this thing will not be wasted, he may want to
hold down and close your womb so that you can cry, so that you can
become serious.

Many times, even though I learned from my wife that bearing children can
be very painful, isn't it? Because I've seen the cries. But I'm sure for
some women, it looks so easy. Maybe that's why many times they are very
careless about recognizing the definiteness, the uniqueness, the
peculiarity, and the particularity of each of the children that God is
bringing to you, even if they are 22.

I'm apologizing to one of my great brothers. Each and every one of them,
God has a vision for their life. And you know, when our brother was
speaking yesterday, you know, I saw the beauty.

Look at what one soul, one life in that family is doing for God all over
the places. Look at what a David became in the hand of God in a family
of seven. So it is very critical as a father, your first duty and
responsibility is that you have entered the travail of bearing the
burden of intercession.

It is those definitions, it is that name, it is that vision, what God
showed you, what is revealed to you, and it is not once. It is
continual. It is progressive that helps you and your wife to order those
children alive.

And into their inheritance, into their specific and unique roles in life
without them struggling against one another and competing with one
another. You will soon discover that there is a matter that we call
sibling rivalry. It is very real.

John the Baptist was an example of such a vision. Thank God that God
revealed to Zachariah what he had in mind for John the Baptist. So John
the Baptist did not become a duplicate of Zachariah.

And you know what I also thought? Because the parents were mindful of
him, how did they raise John the Baptist an only child and they did not
spoil him? The child of an old age could have been very easy to
mishandle and misappropriate him but they were conscious of God's role
for his life and I was touched when they said John the Baptist was
eating honey and what else was he eating? Locusts. They didn't spoil him
with cake and chocolate. They raised him for his commission.

So it's a very critical thing to know what God is saying about each and
every one of our children. It is the bedrock of their training.
Sometimes it helps you to know what to do with a particular child what
not to use for a particular child what to emphasize with that child and
what to withdraw from this other child.

I have such similar experience. Praise the Lord. What is the next thing
that we quickly want to say at this point? As a parent seeking to bring
up children properly and victoriously you must as much as possible seek
godly discipleship.

I'll tell you why. Every time I look at the story of Samuel I weep. Do
you know why? Samuel's mother having agreed with God on what God will do
with that child's life good enough she sent that child for proper
training into what God wanted him to be in life.

She sent him to Eli's discipleship school and good enough he became a
prophet for God a renowned prophet and he did wondrously but you see the
problem he didn't just end up with the anointing he inherited Eli's
weaknesses. Eli was a priest but he was a bad father. His children were
taking bribes he had no control over them.

If you see that in the book of 1 Samuel chapter 2 verse 12 to 17 would
you like to read that? Let's quickly look at it. Okay, sorry my wife
said you know she's saying that we can read that on our own. You can see
the description and the summary of Eli's parenting and it's so
unfortunate that when they also when the holy bible wanted to also
summarize the fathering of our brother our prophet Samuel it was the
same thing that those children were doing that his children were also
doing like father like son.

So what is the implication for us? As parents the need to have parents
experienced parents who have raised up their own children who have
brought up their own children and by the mercy of God they have
testimonies is a very critical need for your own life and you need also
to pray if for any other reason you are following leaders you are
following pastors you are following men who are speaking who are
teaching but their own children are not doing very well I'm not saying
that they cannot disciple you but you must keep making sure that that
aspect of discipleship you may not get it from them look for it praise
the Lord so discipleship even for us to be able to train our children
well is a critical need and God must help us to raise God must raise for
us fathers and mothers and God is doing that for us here my wife and I
today by the grace of God we have benefited from that kind of
discipleship the Lord has used it to help our life a lot even in child
upbringing our children upbringing as the case may be so I advise you I
counsel you seek correct discipleship in that area what do you have to
say to that praise the Lord I want to say that what he has just said is
not something we must be casual about I discover that even the children
as they grow they know who is your disciple and they are also watching
the children of your disciple and they have their own comments to make
and when they know that where you are taking your discipleship from is
correct they are also willing to submit to such discipleship so it's
very important that we don't take our discipleship to just be for
ourselves our children should also be brought under that discipleship I
know that when our children were coming into the teens it was beginning
to become a challenge and one day we sat with them and we were talking
and I simply said to them I said if you think where we are is not good
enough and you want to seek for something for yourself I want to give
you the opportunity to do that and one of them said why he said we have
come to be satisfied with where you are and where you are has become a
springboard even for our own lives and won't be tied to us if we don't
do better than you because what you have given to us if we jump from
where we are now we will jump higher than you I looked at the particular
child that spoke and I shook my head because in my heart he is the one
that I thought was not interested in what we are doing so they are
watching and then when it comes to the issue of being very particular
with our children it's not something to be taken for granted as much as
possible as early as possible as early as possible we must introduce
Christ to the children and it's not something you do by chance the Bible
says train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will
not depart from it it's a scripture that every Christian seems to know
but we forget that training takes a deliberate action and our children
the Bible also told us that when a child is weaned and you are teaching
such a person it's line upon line precept upon precept here a little
there a little and that's why when you go to the book of Deuteronomy it
tells us that in teaching these children it's not a one time thing it's
when you are sitting down when you are lying down when you are walking
along the road and what you are teaching the child you put it as a
bracelet you put it on your front sled you put it everywhere children
are very interested in audio visual aids they want to know what you are
talking about and I want to encourage us as parents especially if your
children are still very young and you don't know how to go about
training them please at least one of you should enroll in children
evangelism training wherever you find children evangelism training
enroll so that you will know how to lead the children to Christ that you
lead your child to Christ is very important don't leave it to Sunday
school teachers don't leave it to the primary school teacher you are the
first audio visual aid and you are the first teacher your child should
have and when you become your child's first teacher you know that
children respect teachers I remember at the time that my children were
growing up one day my daughter came from school and she said something
and I said no that's not the correct way to say it and she said what
should she say I told her she said no that's not what my teacher said
and I said look I can even teach your teacher and it was very amusing to
her she laughed and laughed she said you teach my teacher so you know
children have a lot of respect for teachers be your children's first
teacher when you are their first teacher they respect you so we must be
deliberate about it and I want to say that what the word of God says is
true I keep standing on that promises anytime I see something different
from what I expect from my children I go back to the Lord and I said you
said train up a child in the way he should go when he's old he will not
depart from it I hold your hands consigning that promise and I claim it
day in day out so I want us to take that training very serious then the
second thing I want to mention is the issue of naming we must not name
our children arbitrary God if we seek the face of God and he gives us
names for these children you will discover that as you keep praying God
will keep exposing what he meant by that name and as the children grow
let them know why they have that name it was surprising to me when some
few weeks back we were praying with one of the children as he was having
some challenges and as we prayed he prayed a prayer that shook me he was
praying he said God you can't just give me this name and it will not
become my life it will be a wrong thing if you say that I am this person
let me be specific he said if you call me Joshua and I cannot lead my
generation into something that is glorious then I am a foolish person so
please Lord as my name is I must become and you know when he prayed that
prayer it shook me and you won't believe it after he prayed that prayer
one of the children now came to me and said so that is the meaning of
his name what about my own why am I called this name and we began to
talk and you know he told me for the first time he now understands why
he is going through the kind of things he has been going through that he
has been comparing himself with other people not knowing that his name
has set him apart from the others and that this is the path he should
take and that from today he is praying that the Lord will help him that
his name will become what God has proposed that he should become so I
just want to say that we must be careful to hear from the Lord when we
are naming these children you know for us we are still growing and our
children are still struggling but one thing we keep saying to them we
keep encouraging them we keep talking to them and most importantly we
insist that they are our friends I know you can talk very freely with
your friend and it makes it easier for us to talk into their lives and
like I said when in your discipleship God has given you the privilege of
choosing and placing you well allow the children to be part of it
because it also helps them when they know that the person you are
looking onto you are hearing from is correct it helps them to follow you
and they are not afraid you know many times you think the children are
not watching they are watching they know where you are feeding from and
after all said and done they are also coming back to feed from that
source so if you are feeding from the wrong source your children will
feed from the wrong source so I pray that the Lord will continue to help
us that as we are living our lives we must be careful knowing that God
has given us and committed into our hands source that we must carry
along and if you are doing well the children will do well by the grace
of God praise the Lord amen so let's quickly move on what's the next
quiet implement that we must work at now specifically work at your
marriage your marriage that is your relationship between you and your
wife is a very critical solvent or environment for your child to grow
properly children don't have respect for scattered and tattered parents
if you are the type that you are always quarreling you are nagging you
are complaining you are bitter you are in nuances about your husband how
he is misbehaving they know it they read it one of the things you are
doing is that you are destroying your environment the children may pity
you but they will not respect you they will be looking for every
opportunity to find their way you may think you are doing well even if
you think you are lavishing love on them you may be buying things for
them to win them over you may be showing as if you care for them more
than their parents but i tell you you destroy more things more goods
than you are doing the children need an affirmation of the love that is
constant and they try it sometimes they bump at it but what it does to
them is that even if they don't know god personally he gives them a
backbone children who come from sound parental love relationships they
are more affirmed and they have healthy personalities when they come
from homes where they are not sure when the papa will become a tiger
suddenly everybody is laughing now and everything seems to be all right
just when they want to settle down they are enjoying it get out of here
i'm not interested and then you walk away into the room your wife said
daddy i beg now please now no i told you i don't like this nonsense you
know at that point something in the expectation and the heart of those
children drop quietly when they go out among their mates suddenly you
find them looking like like like a second class citizen you may not have
money friends you may not have big names you may not be rich one thing
you own your children is a heavy god a glorifying loving relationship at
home it's a first critical need in their life so instead of breaking
down your own home and thinking you can compensate by leveraging gift of
your children that's not the way out whatever it will cost any
submission you need to do even if you say you are in that marriage
because of their children because of your children one of the ways to
show it if you ask me is to please safeguard that environment of peace
let them always have a reason to want to come home when the corrosive
weathers of life hit them outside let them just come home and just sit
down and watch daddy and mommy playing sports sometimes you see when
they want to get annoyed and they want to go away sometimes they want to
sometimes when they just look back and they see your commitment your
indifference because you have something going for you you have a
relationship you have a love going between you and your husband they
cool down and you must not destroy that you must build it with years oh
it means so much to them the children themselves they are proud of you
sometimes when there are problems and you are reporting your husband to
them or the husband is reporting their wife to them because they are
selfish and they are finding a way to make you they may not tell you
that they don't respect you but when they want to do some things in life
and they just want to be themselves and you want to talk that's how you
will show how much they value you so the authority of your marriage is
very critical to check them if you destroy your marriage you destroy an
authority and very soon like water they will escape now following that
in addition to providing a growing marital relationship between your
wife for them to continually see is the fact that your own personal life
godliness must be the heritage you are showing and living for them the
role of your conduct your own life is the first perfect testimony and
audio visual like my wife said that they need so I want to beg you for
your children's sake grow grow above some of the things you do even
those ones you think you are doing secretly and privately one of the
things that people have known over the years that children have a way of
copying those things you try to hide and the ones you show them they
leave that one if you watch films privately you watch pornographic films
even though you don't show them they have a way of knowing it you know
Jesus said for their sake I do what? I sanctify myself there are some
things that may not be a problem to you any longer because you have
grown you may be able to handle it there are some things when you drink
you may drink alcohol and it doesn't shock you because you have mastered
yourself but for your children's sake stop it because what you are
showing when it starts germinating it may not be in the same proportion
with your own so one of the next critical things you need to provide for
proper children upbringing is the environment of your own personal life
your personal life of holiness of integrity of purity of righteousness
of godliness of truth of self control those things they are like smoke
if you cover them for two days you may not cover them for two years they
have a way of sneaking out they have a way of smelling so that is a very
critical preparation it's a very critical need in order to raise our
children what is now i must mention this even though it looks apparent
taking care of them physically is very critical now this has implication
both for the rich and for the poor poverty is not an excuse some basic
needs of your children must be met all this my parents nobody did this
for me is not a very good thing god gives grace for parents to take care
of their children and it's a very critical test of your christianity
we're not talking about giving them all their wants basic things
clothing correct food and correct food doesn't mean expensive food they
eat at the right time some of us are so irresponsible sometimes we
gamble you can carry money and go and put in one big project somewhere
outside even if that project is ministry and then everybody is just
suffering at home because of your ambition it has repercussion let the
children feed well let them just have the most basic amenities school if
they are going to school it doesn't have to be an expensive school most
of those expensive schools these days don't have expensive characters
some of them you can make it up for them in the home you can supply it
by your time by your availability by making it up by supervision by
diligence by encouragement make sure that they just have the textbooks
the exercise books they become a priority once you start having them so
any grace that you need for God to help you meet their needs please meet
it now on the other side those who are rich they spoil their children
they give them beyond what they need and children don't respect it they
only take it for granted it takes another level of discipline and love
many times expensive toys and gifts to children does not show love they
actually show lack of love they actually show that your conscious is
worrying you for not being available so you want to compensate by buying
very expensive hand set for them genuine love is first of all yourself
your time your diligence your attention your prayer after that you will
see the Holy Spirit from that point showing you just the basic things no
matter how rich you are you teach them to grow you teach them to handle
things you didn't become all you became in one night except if I'm wrong
about you you know these are days that somebody can just do one
brakadabra today and tomorrow is a big man is unhonorable but life is
not like that so help them giving them what they need is critical but
giving them beyond what they need can be dangerous especially at their
age so physically take care of them watch over them make sure that they
are not deformed help them to grow heavily because the way God made them
the body that God gave them the stature that God gave them is for a
purpose don't allow any of them to be deformed through negligence or
carelessness don't let my wife is saying I should tell you what she's
telling me it's alright praise the Lord now this is critical but join to
that is the fact that you need to be watchful physically we are not yet
my wife has mentioned the spiritual even physically watch their
environment keep an eye on them sometimes they are in your house you
have a pretty 13 year old girl and you went to your village and brought
your brother's junior his brother's third son to come and live with you
and your brother's son many of you I pray God will not give you bad
testimonies in Jesus name so they need to be sensitive to watch what is
going on around them to watch their moods to see when they begin to
withdraw or when they are up to something sinister it takes physical
watchfulness I must not undermine that it's very critical somebody once
said it doesn't matter how you defeat satan the most important thing is
to defeat him if he needs common sense use common sense don't be too
spiritual so you don't have common sense again praise the Lord now what
is the other thing I want to round up with that is very critical is what
my wife began to mention is relationship and love your children need
love even to learn the truth is that even the ordinary natural Lord that
you see between a mother and a child is for a purpose it is so that the
children can learn from you children learn from those whom they love who
love them I have learned that a lot when I was a nursery school teacher
I taught for many years one of the things I came to know and I came to
discover is that if you want a child in class to excel in what you are
teaching adopt that child as a parent you will suddenly discover that
that child has an inner motivation to please you and to respond to
reciprocate your love so even for children you must become their friends
fathers no matter how busy how tall how highly placed you are you must
be a friend to your children you must cultivate their friendship you
must enter their world you must know their friends and if possible enter
their friendship when their friends come to visit they have come to
visit the family they have come to visit you enter their hobbies you see
that Deuteronomy passage that my wife quoted he said when you go on the
road with them when you walk God expects you to take a ride with your
children go for a walk if it were possible go and play football with
them like what I used to do those days when they were growing up oh my
God Saturday was wonder the wall of my house I will lock the outside
door my whole parlor I will bring sheets of paper paste them on the wall
my wife is in charge of granotes for that day my children I distribute
brushes to them paints we just look at pictures and we paint from
morning till night and you know that's how all of them became artists
not by profession yes they could all paint and draw and some of them
choose not to do it but you know what I just wanted to do is to enter
their life preempt them just let them know that you care for them let
them know that you are thinking about them all of that becomes a
preparation for you to instruct them for them to listen to you for them
to have confidence in you and tell you their deep secrets sometimes they
may struggle with it for five months six years six weeks wondering
whether to tell you or not but at the end of it all they will come and
tell you now that's a wonderful thing when your parents after all when
your children after all said and done still single you out as their best
friend praise the lord I think by the grace of God as you can see the
time is up I know God will give us more time for this so I would like my
wife to round up for us and pray praise the lord after all said and done
just a word for my sisters I pray that the lord will continue to give us
grace and I say it because I know that most times our husbands are not
there but let us always be there and where they are supposed to stand
may the lord grant us grace to stand for them don't ever criticize your
husband and his lack of availability to your children they will use it
against him and if he loses his authority over your children you are the
one that will suffer for it so let's continue to give the authority over
the children to our husbands so that the children can always look up to
their father and like a child said I was just joking with a child I said
when we call god our father what does that mean I said it's somebody you
can talk to it's somebody you can play with and once I say play with I
said why not he said ah my father you cannot play with him he's too
serious for somebody to play with fathers play with your children and I
know that one day my children said something that surprised me they said
we know that our daddy is always following somebody and the way that
person relates with his own children we see him play with them he takes
them out but daddy is too serious sometimes so they are also watching I
pray that the Lord will help us we can't say everything that we need to
do in order to bring up our children properly and for us especially we
are still stumbling but the grace of God is ever there whatever we can
do on our knees let's do it and if we do it the Lord will not disappoint
us I'm sure we all know about a woman like Susan Wesley she took time
out of her busy schedule to pray for her children and to pray for them
by her name she gave the Christian word Charles Wesley and John Wesley
may the Lord help us to give the church children that the Lord will be
proud of and our knees must always be on ground for them not just when
they are babies pray them into marriages pray them into motherhood and
fatherhood and we continue to pray for them as the Lord gives us breath
I pray that the Lord will help us we have not said much but I know that
the Holy Spirit we interpret it much more in our hearts and like we have
said when we take up some of these materials and we begin to study them
and study them well you know that something will break if our children
become the next generation then you know that this Christianity will not
die out and I pray that the Lord will help us praise the Lord sorry just
to this one is assignment you know I'm a teacher when I teach you I give
you assignment after you have read this there is still another book the
Christian woman and her family when you go to that one it gives you a
deeper insight and perspective into all these that we are saying even
how to handle and bring up even children that are not your biological
children and all of that promise me that you will read it eh you will
read it God bless you in Jesus name amen amen amen amen amen amen amen
amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen
amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen

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Source: https://sermonindex.net/speakers/gbile-akanni/chilld-upbringing/
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