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  THE CENTRALITY OF CHRIST IN THE FAMILY
  by Keith Malcomson
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Summary: This sermon emphasizes the importance of Christ being at the
center of the family, highlighting the roles of husbands and wives in
submission and love, the need for Christ-centered homes in a generation
under attack, and the significance of embodying Christ-like qualities
such as sacrificial love, respect, and submission in family
relationships.

Topics: "Christ-Centered Families", "Sacrificial Love in Relationships"
Scripture References: Ephesians 5:22, Ephesians 6:1, Colossians 3:20, Genesis 2:18, Matthew 13:11, Malachi 2:14, 1 Peter 3:1, Proverbs 31:30

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DESCRIPTION
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This sermon emphasizes the importance of Christ being at the center of
the family, highlighting the roles of husbands and wives in submission
and love, the need for Christ-centered homes in a generation under
attack, and the significance of embodying Christ-like qualities such as
sacrificial love, respect, and submission in family relationships.

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CONTENT
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in Scripture. Will you turn here this morning to Ephesians chapter 5,
Ephesians chapter 5 and we're going a bit further in this series on the
centrality of Christ, the centrality of Christ. We are going to at the
end of this message break bread together and you can come then and take
the emblems but here this morning I want to preach from Ephesians
chapter 5 on the centrality of Christ and then we're going to break
bread together as a church.

Reading from Ephesians chapter 5 and my message here this morning, this
is part 8 of our series and I want to preach to you on the centrality of
Christ in the family. Last week we looked at the centrality of Christ in
the church but here I want to sorry last week it was the centrality of
Christ in the Christian life, the week before it was the centrality of
Christ in the church but here I want to look at the centrality of Christ
in the family. If ever we had to hear about a biblical home, a Christ-
centered home, a home that's under the control of God it is now because
I want to tell you never has the family, the home or the order of God
been under such attack as in your day and in your generation.

Never has a young generation had such an attack upon it and you know
when I see that, when I see the devil really making a bid for a
generation I ask why, I really ask why, I go why is the devil so intent
on destroying the very intricate fabric of this particular young
generation? Why does he hate it so? Why is he so attacking it? Why is he
leaving no room that either you're going to go to Christ or you're going
to go to hell? Why is it that it's becoming so intensive? Reading from
Ephesians chapter 5 and from verse 21 here this morning, submitting
yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives submit yourselves
unto your own husbands as unto the Lord for the husband is the head of
the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the Savior
of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ so let the
wives be to their husbands in everything.

Husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave
himself for it for he that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the
washing of water by the word that he might present it to himself a
glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that it
should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as
their own bodies he that loveth his wife loveth himself for no man ever
yet heeded his own flesh but he nourisheth and cherisheth it even as the
Lord the church for we are members of his body of his flesh and of his
bones for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall
be joined unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great
mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the church nevertheless let
every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the
wife see that she reverence her husband.

Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right honor thy
father and thy mother which is the first commandment with promise that
it may be well with thee and that thou mayest live long on the earth and
ye fathers provoke not your children to wrath but bring them up in the
nurture and admonition of the Lord. Can we pray here together father and
such an hour as this we do humble ourselves as the body of Christ as
individual Christians as those seeking after you for salvation my God we
submit ourself because we know that you're a God who loves us you're not
just a God who demands the only commands you give us are those that are
for our good to protect us like we heard this morning repent ye turn
away our disaster lies ahead you're a God who commands us out of love
you're a God who protects us who gives us instructions who warns us who
shows us the dangers that lie ahead you're not a God you're not a tyrant
you're not a God who abuses but you're a God out of bountiful love out
of mercy out of your sacrifice and Calvary you go in search of a people
and father I pray this morning that you'd show us oh God what a Christ
centered family looks like that you'd burden our hearts that you'd give
us a desire that our homes that our houses that our lives so God may be
caught up in this that Christ would be the center of every single family
in this church we pray for your grace because Lord the pressures are
very great the flesh is against this the devil is against it the world
the institutions of education nor God and even the legal system of our
land are against this but we pray for grace that we in this hour might
raise up a godly seed father if the parents of Moses could raise up
godly children and an hour a dangerous hour and the evil hour a dark
hour surely you can raise up children in this hour that are going to be
utterly unique like Miriam Lord God like Aaron like Moses Lord God raise
up life so God out of this hour then this generation in Jesus mighty
name amen thank you Lord hallelujah I want to preach to you here on the
centrality of Christ in the family that Christ ought to be the center of
it the goal of the family if all you do is leave your Christianity in
the church and don't bring it home you're gonna have real problems if
you try to separate your Christianity and say that is for the church
that is for ministry out there and you don't bring it into the home
there are going to be very real problems I want to give you at least
four and if I get carried away I might give you seven but I'll try and
give you four points here this morning and my first point here in this
scripture from Ephesians 5 is Christ revealed in the family do you know
that the Bible teaches that God has a plan to reveal to manifest and to
show Christ in the family this isn't something I'm just preaching this
is the Bible this is a part of church life this is a part of the
Christian life that Christ should be revealed or seen in your family
look with me here in Ephesians chapter 5 and it says Paul we know has
taught from verse 22 all the way through to verse 33 on the family he's
talking about a husband a wife being joined in marriage and the home
that they raise up then over into chapter 6 he begins teaching about the
children that come out of that family so notice here he's talking about
husbands he's talking about wives he's talking about children he is
talking about a family and right in the midst of this he says now hold
on a second I am teaching I'm giving you real commands I'm giving you
doctrine I'm giving you examples about the husband and the wife their
attitudes their character how they treat one another how children are to
treat their parents all of this I've done but don't miss and this is the
most important thing Christ revealed in the family verse 32 reveals this
that when you look at a family a husband a wife children that there's
going to be something deeper God has a plan to reveal Christ in that
family not just in the church not just in your individual life but in
that family that gathers in a particular house and a particular address
God wants to reveal Christ within that home within that family unit
within that gathering of persons of the same bloodline look at verse 32
it says this is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the
church Paul has just been teaching about marriage the husband and wife
and then he stops in verse 32 and he says this is a great mystery in
other words when you look at a marriage a husband and wife when you
actually look at flesh and blood and we know they're imperfect we know
there's a lot of issues go on in families all of us that have come from
families been a part of a family you know that there's real issues
between brothers and sisters between children and their parents
sometimes the parents are wrong a lot of the time children are not wrong
almost all of the time all of us are wrong in some area so there's real
problems but don't miss this that when you find God's order and God's
commands being obeyed by a husband a wife or children in a family unit
where you get people saying I want the order of God do you realize
something is revealed there I'm not talking about a sinful home Christ
isn't revealed there let someone abuse the commands of God reject Christ
disobey the Word of God live a sinful life be selfish be proud be
arrogant be disobedient do anything they want disobey the laws of the
land let them do that and I assure you there's no Christ in that home
there's no love as reflected in Christ there's no mercy there's no
forgiveness there's no hope and I but I should I want to show you that
as you see a husband and wife acting according to Christ it says in
verse 32 this is a great mystery notice there is a mystery in a biblical
home in a Christ centered home it is a mystery where you get a man and
woman coming together and saying I want to obey God or I want to
function as Christ in that home you know what happens this is a great
mystery the word mystery is used 28 times in our New Testament it's
saying here that when you look at the marriage bond there is a mystery
what is the mystery of marriage the word mystery here is the Greek word
mysterion it means something concealed something hidden something not
known or that you don't easily or naturally see you need to be taught
about this you could just think it's a marriage it's a home it's a
family and you don't see anything else what a tragedy if Christians
gathered in a home and we don't see Christ there you see you need your
eyes open that when you see me love Candice if you don't see Christ in
that you've missed something you see there's something hidden in my love
towards Christ that most people won't say they'll go isn't that lovely
isn't that quaint isn't that nice isn't Candice blessed no you've missed
something here I'm talking about Christ being revealed in the family it
is a great mystery this word mystery also means it doesn't mean just
something that's hidden concealed and cannot be seen it also means that
God reveals something to certain people in other words everyone cannot
see this great mystery all people do not perceive it they do not
understand it when they look at a Christian marriage some laugh at it
others reject it some despise it and want to destroy it in our society
today and believe me they do want to destroy Christian marriage now it's
got into the government into legislation now it's becoming popular to
attack the Christian marriage it's not just that they want to live their
own life or do what they want to do you know what they hate the
Christian marriage bond so we know that they do not see what is in a
Christian marriage that it's lovely it's beautiful you see only those
that God reveals it to can see a great mystery in a Christian marriage a
mystery is something that means revealed it needs to be taught you need
your heart open to see it and that the purpose is not for it to remain
hidden but that you'd say what is it that's a mystery about a Christian
marriage where you find a real Christian marriage where you find real
agape love real sacrificial love do you know what's behind that it's the
person of Christ I promise you I would not love Candice the way I do if
Christ was not in this home he is the mystery he is the secret he is the
power that is not natural love I love her unconditionally I love her
selfishly I love her in a sacrificial manner and you know what if you
have eyes to see it in a Christ-centered family you are actually going
to see in that home even in the attitude of the children towards the
parents you know I can remember at six and seven and eight years old my
thoughts towards my father there's once that he actually disciplined me
and I wasn't guilty of that thing it's the only time I can remember him
lifting a stick to me in all my childhood the one and only time and you
know what at the time I was innocent of the thing he thought I was
guilty of and I'm only a child I'm only a young boy I'm I can't even do
my alphabet or my tables or anything else but I looked at my dad now
when he's a good man he's an honorable man but he's got this wrong the
facts aren't there I'm innocent but you know what I didn't resent that I
actually understood that I didn't get angry or bitter at him I was a
young boy and I go I know he loves me even though he's wrong in this I
knew he was wrong I knew he was wrong and I used to lie in my bed at
night and it went my family what wasn't perfect they loved the Lord
Jesus Christ they weren't perfect I want to tell you but you know what
I'd lie in my bed at night and I would cry tears eight years old nine
years old and say Lord how is it that you loved me so that you'd give me
such a father and such a perfect but I knew there's those being abused
by their mother or abused by their father and here I was you know what
as a child I could see there was something more in this I didn't just
see people but I saw the hand of God it says this is a great minute
mystery in verse 32 what is the mystery I speak concern in Christ and
the church what is the hidden mystery of a Christian family or a Christ
centered family what is this great mystery this thing that is hidden
from the eyes of most that most in our world never discover they never
know there's a secret to marriage they never realize there is a power
there is a grace there's an influence that comes there is a way of
operating that is beautiful that is lovely that is a blessing that will
actually affect you for eternity he'll affect all of your children
they're blind to it you know what the great mystery is when you see a
Christian husband and a Christian wife Paul says I speak concern in
Christ in the church I've just taught you what a husband and a wife
ought to be I've just taught you about their attitude towards each other
but you know what I'm not teaching about Christian marriage that's what
he's saying in Ephesians 5 actually I'm not teaching about marriage I'm
not teaching about the family or home there is something deeper here
where you find this there is something far deeper what is it Christ and
the church the mystery is there's a revealing of the relationship
between the Lord Jesus Christ and the church if you find a husband
functioning in a right way or a wife or children you actually look at
that home you're gonna find Christ's relationship to the body of Christ
to the church this word mystery Jesus uses it in fact 28 times it's used
in our New Testament but Jesus uses it in Matthew 13 and verse 11 when
he begins to teach his parables his stories he says the mysteries of the
kingdom of heaven in other words all his parables were openly spoken
their stories but hidden in those stories are spiritual truths that can
save your soul their only stories you could say it's about scattering
seed and being a farmer oh no this is about the salvation of your soul
you could think that this teaching about a husband and wife it's all
practicalities oh no it's something bigger this is about Christ and his
church do you realize in the Christian family and home this is the first
great point to have a Christ centered home Christ is revealed in the
family the children can reveal the person of Christ the wife and the
mother can reveal the person of Christ the father and the husband can
reveal the person of Christ in other words there's a higher calling you
think marriage is for you you think it's all about your satisfaction
your needs being met your dirty socks being washed making sure a meal is
on the table showing love and affection and cuddling together you think
all of this is what marriage is about actually that's only the surface
they're all important all gotta be there but you know what there's a
greater purpose in the family the deeper you fall in love with the Lord
Jesus Christ the more you will love your wife the more you get
sanctified and holy and walk with God the greater the blessing on your
children is gonna be there is a great mystery hidden within this
concerning the marriage bond it is a beautiful thing in Malachi it talks
about the wife of that the about your wife being your companion the wife
of thy covenant in other words marriage is a covenant relationship it's
a binding agreement that you actually come into the entire Bible begins
with a marriage and it ends with a marriage it begins with Adam and Eve
God bringing Eve creating her out of the rib of his own side and
bringing her to Adam do you realize in that story in Genesis 2 we have a
picture of Christ getting his own bride you see where did Adam get his
bride it was a work of God it was a sovereign work but he puts Adam to
sleep opens up his side takes out a rib and from that rib creates a
woman who becomes the first wife the first mother of all flesh do you
realize that is a picture that first marriage not first wedding is a
picture of Jesus Christ dying on the cross for the church do you realize
when he was put to sleep he fell asleep he died on the cross his side
was opened up the Bible says blood and water flowed and you realize of
his blood and of his word that came forth out of him a bride was brought
forth and you're a part of that bride you see where you get a real
Christian family there's a revelation of God's plan of redemption God is
seeking after a wife Jesus Christ is going to have a bride in this earth
and in the Christian family we are to reveal something of that mystery
God has a plan in the marriage it is to reflect God's love for sinners
you know when sinners come into our home they ought to see Christ they
ought to hear Christ it ought to be revealed through the persons in that
family if you go into a Christ centered home you ought to hear the
gospel there ought to be prayers there ought to be worship there ought
to be a falling in love with Jesus you know I was in a preacher's home
in America some years ago and I'd read about George Whitfield he
traveled to America and when he was in America he stayed with Jonathan
Edwards and he was just a young preacher and as he stayed in that home
and he watched this old theologian who loved to read old dusty books and
he had his little spectacles on and he would sit there in the evening
and he had watched Sarah and Mrs. Edwards coming in and how they
conducted themselves together they're an older couple and he said as he
saw their relationship together the sweetness the love the respect the
harmony the unity he said you know what I need to get myself a wife
that's what he said he decided there that it is such a blessing when I
go back to England when he went back he ended up marrying a Welsh widow
and she became his wife he saw the beauty of it but you know what he saw
Christ in it there was a revelation of the person of Christ you know
some Christian households the bickering the fighting the gospel the
competing and if you've got a sinner coming in there that say if this is
Christ that this is a Christian home I don't want it God help us we do
need something else the Bible doesn't only begin and finish with a
wedding Christ's first miracle was performed at a wedding the Bible has
a theme of biblical marriage or the home and you know what it's to
reveal the person of Christ that's my first point Christ revealed in the
home it is a great mystery God has a plan to raise up homes where you're
gonna find Christ you'll find the gospel not on a church not on the high
street but if you go to that home I assure you they'll lead you to the
Lord Jesus Christ they'll say you can be born again round that dinner
table they'll share with you testimonies of how they got born again
second of all the family as a little church not only is the family to be
a place where Christ is revealed but the family is to be a little church
and Ephesians chapter 2 and verse 19 it says now therefore ye talking
about born again believers you are no more strangers and foreigners but
fellow citizens with the Saints and of the household of God do you
remember when we dealt with the church here the centrality of Christ in
the church and we looked at Ephesians we said that the church in
Ephesians was a body it was a building and it was a bride the actual
church when you look at it as a gather it's a body it's a building it's
a bride but there's something else in the book of Ephesians it's called
and Ephesians 2 19 the church the local church is called the household
of God again in Galatians 6 and 10 it's called the household of faith
this word household in the Greek it means those that dwell in the same
house that belong to the same family and that function together in the
same place in other words it's on either blood relatives or people who
have joined a family unit living in the same household they may not come
from that family they may be adopted they may be a family friend or
helper but you know what they are gathered in the same house they are
that same unit do you realize though it's talking about a family or a
home this word household used throughout the New Testament is used of
the family unit you know when all the McNamara's get together it is
something I want to assure you all in the place all at the same time
you'll either have a revival or a riot when you get all these young
cousins together it is beautiful it is wonderful to see all these
cousins and they all get together and they're all having fun and they
might fight along the way but all to be together in the same place I
know they're one family I want to tell you no one else is like them they
are a family unit all together dwelling together the Bible talks about
the church being like a household in other words we're not only to be
like a body and like a bride and like a building we the local church and
how many times have I said that that we as a church LCC we are a family
you know if someone comes in here and they don't have a family they're
isolated they're alone they are going to find a family they'll find
fathers in here they'll find mothers in here they'll find brothers in
here they'll find sisters in here they're going to find a family unit of
a warmth a unity oh there might be some robins along the way but I
promise you there's going to be a family unit where we say you know
through it all we may have problems along the way but through it all we
stick together we stay together we go through together and I want to
help you through your trials and troubles you see the church is a family
or a household of faith that's what the Bible teaches but I want to turn
that around and say not only is the church to be a family but the family
your individual family or your household is a vital part of the local
church listen the second point the family as a little church every
Christian family if it is to be Christ centered should be a little
church I don't mean it replaces the church I don't mean you stay at home
and say we've had church with two people and we don't need a church I
don't mean that I mean that the family as a part of the church all that
we have here in the church it overflows into your home into your life
Jonathan Edwards that great revivalist again listen to what he said
every Christian family ought to be as it were a little church
consecrated to God and wholly influenced and governed by his rules if
you begin to think that your family ought to be a little church oh I
know it's not everything but it ought to have all the marks of that
church is their prayer is their preaching is their evangelism is their
thanksgiving is their sacrifice is their love in the house of God all of
this ought to be flowing over into your family into your home when we go
to the scripture we see homes or families that became a great blessing
we knew the apostle Paul was a single man he never got married he was
never married and he both chose that for the sake of the gospel but you
know what he found homes to go and dwell in we knew that Priscilla and
Aquila sorry let me say that again Aquila and Priscilla were a couple
who made tents Paul actually had a strong bond with them stayed with
them and even later they started churches in their home twice over in
the bible including the city of Rome the church in your home in other
words that family unit become the beginning place of a church that God
raised up a church do you remember that great preacher who was eloquent
in the scripture that traveled the synagogues of that ancient world
called Apollos he was a remarkable man he knew the bible inside out he
had great power and eloquence when he stood to preach but you know what
one of those sabbath days he went and preached in the synagogue and
Aquila turned sorry Priscilla turned to Aquila and went we need to
invite him for a meal I tell you husband we need to invite him back he's
a wonderful man but there's some things he needs to do over dinner that
day in the home there in the fellowship do you know what they began to
teach him more clearly the things of the gospel in that home do you
realize a mother at home a wife at home began to teach one of the great
preachers of that generation and begin to show him the deep things of
the scripture Charles Spurgeon who began to preach the crowds of 1520
and 25,000 in his 20s one of the greatest preachers England ever
produced do you know who affected him most his grandfather was a great
preacher and affected him but that wasn't the theology do you know where
he said he learned theology it was in the kitchen and it was the maid
down there who used to make the breakfast and the dinner and the lunch
and used to care for the home and the kids and he said he learned the
truth about the new covenant from that lady he learned more from her
than all the books of the Puritans he learned more from her than his
grandfather who was a theologian that little lady he said she understood
law and grace she understood the covenant made in blood through the Lord
Jesus Christ do you see the power of a family as a little church when
that church there's prayer there there's evangelism there the word of
God is there saints don't keep it all here in the church let it break in
on your homes let take your church home you know people bring their
children to church and go I hope the preacher gets my child saved and
puts my family in order you've got it back to front you are to come here
to receive from God to take this back into your home you're going to say
what we're hearing there I want it to function in my home I want this
love this faith this preaching this ministry the home is to be a little
church and you know that all the gifted ministries are to be raised up
not just in the church but in the home the apostle Paul and Timothy and
Titus twice over he says that a man is not qualified to be an elder or
to lead in the church unless he has his home in order unless his
relationship with his wife and his children and his children are set in
order and if he has that in order then he can come preach to you but why
would I want someone to preach to you if they don't have their home in
order you see the family is to be a little church this is where you
practice this is where you serve God if you can't love in your family
there's no point coming in on a Sunday and smiling at us all and shaking
hands saying God bless you brother and then you go home and you're a
grumpy so-and-so and you're miserable to live with and there's no
revealing of Christ and then Sunday again oh God bless you all don't we
love the Lord and then you go home there's nothing there do you realize
how many children have been destroyed by that they've been destroyed
because Christ was not real in their home the Philip the evangelist rose
up a home he was a traveling evangelist he got lifted up by the Lord and
carried off to evangelize he was a man who saw cities change he
evangelized multitudes he was empowered to do miracles but you know the
greatest thing about Philip the evangelist is a few years later and he's
not called an evangelist until then oh he's doing the work of ministry
but he's never called an evangelist until he has daughters raised up in
that home now he's married now he's settled with the home in Caesarea
and you know what out of that home come four daughters who are virgins
who prophesy they operate in the gifted ministry of prophecy they're
prophesying it's one of the nine guests and they're virgins they've kept
themselves do you see that out of that home men of God could go and stay
there you know the apostle Peter stayed there in that home and I can
just imagine the Bible it's noted down you go to that home you look at
those girls and you go boy these are some girls I if I had a son I'd
want him to marry one of these girls in this home they're virgins
they've kept themselves on an evil hour they're gifted they're ladies
but they're operating in the ministry of the Holy Spirit you see the
family ought to be a little church it ought to be a place that's safe
that's protected there's someone in this church I'm not going to give
you all the details but listen carefully there's a family in this church
and their daughter going to a school and that daughter is being taught
and this is in the past taught Irish at school it's meant to be a semi-
Christian school and the headmistress ought is meant to be some sort of
born-again Christian or some kind of Christian and it's got a good
reputation and it's very protected and very moral in many of its ways
you would think that's a safe place to have your kid wouldn't you you'd
go these are good people and it's got a good history and I went to the
school and I can send our children to the school but you know what
happened one day she brought back a book from school called the boy in a
dress the boy in a dress but you know what it was the Gaelic or the
Irish language book not the English book so it's written in the Irish
language they translated this book lots of books aren't in Irish
language but this book is and it's in the schools the primary schools
written by a man David Wallams who's written for those of eight to
twelve years old and it was to present a healthy and acceptable hobby of
dressing in a girl's dress for a little boy in this story this little
booklet it talks about the little boy or the little girl whichever way
it is going to their friend's house and their friend getting the boy to
dress in a dress and saying don't tell your parents let's not tell your
parents this is a primary school book going in amongst children under
the guise of the Irish language in a so-called Christian environment do
you hear what I'm telling you this is your generation it's happening in
this area this is what's going on now you see if they weren't ashamed of
us why are they doing it under the guise of the Irish language why are
they doing it with these young children never have we lived in such an
evil hour all this transhuman and not transhumanism but all this
transsexualism boys dressing as girls changing your agenda in Scotland
they say as young as four years old now you can choose what you are do
you know what that is that isn't only crazy and foolish it is deeply
wicked deeply wicked ten years ago if I would have told people this
would happen they said not a chance ten years ago if I'd said this they
would have said no way but you know what they don't realise is our
society is changing this isn't just sin there's always been
homosexuality there's always been fornication there's always been all
manners of sin that's always been there but now it's changing this is
far far beyond that you know what I'm telling you the family is to be a
little church you need a set of fire in your homes you cannot keep
Christianity to the church it's got to be in your home you you
grandmothers you ought to be a testimony what a calling to be a
grandmother in this hour to pray to witness to stand to bring a
protection into that family home Lydia in the new testament she brought
Paul the apostle into her home you brought the gospel to Philippi you're
preaching on the streets you've been thrown in prison as soon as he got
out of prison his back is bleeding you're coming to my house in fact it
said she compelled him you are coming to my house you know why I want a
man of God there my grandparents had a little room at the back of the
house they called it the prophet's room and you know what any preacher
that passed through that church they said that's a prophet's room it's
for traveling preachers for missionaries on furlough for people in
ministry who come through they're going to stay in that prophet's room
that's what it was always called as a young boy growing up I always went
that is the prophet's room third of all a Christ-centered man not only
it's Christ to be revealed in the family not only is the family to be a
little church in the earth but let me here give you two examples before
I close a Christ-centered man and a Christ-centered woman I'm talking
about the family see there's those of you who are single and I'm not
discounting you in this I'm talking about everyone a Christ-centered man
is a single man as well as a married man both in the family unit you see
I wasn't married to 34 I got around an awful awful lot I will assure you
I had a function as a teenager up through my 20s as a single man and I
assure you my life was to be a Christ-centered Christian life wherever I
went I always found a home I can remember in Scotland and Perth I would
go up to the prayer meeting early in the morning and church as we
gathered I'd go up to the prayer room and when I came down I would put
my hand in my jacket pocket it was filled with sweets and I'd go I'm in
my 20s and I'd go where did they come from and in the following week I'd
leave I didn't deliberately leave my jacket there honestly and I'd leave
my jacket there and I'd come down for from from prayer and I'd reach in
and there's a whole pile of sweets in my pocket I'd look around and go
who is doing this do you know there was an older white-haired couple in
that church and they began they never preached they weren't in ministry
he functioned in a normal job and you know what they adopted me in that
church they actually said would you come back and stay with us for the
weekend see I had no home of my own but they adopted me and brought me
in and they took me to their house and they said see that room there
that's Keith's room and you can stay here any weekend anytime you're
coming through that's your if you ever need a way from ministry and from
preaching and evangelism and the rest of the team and you come here and
you'll come and dine here and that's your little house and you know that
man I felt like a little kid again as I put my hands in the pocket and
there's all those sweeties do you know what that is that's people who
understand what I'm talking about this Christ-centeredness of revealing
Christ you may say you don't have much to give but one of our great
marks is hospitality make your home a place for someone else maybe a
sinner maybe a saint but third of all a Christ-centered man I'm not just
talking about married men here I'm talking about maybe in a family unit
you are a son or maybe you are a husband or maybe you are a father a
Christ-centered man in the church ought to carry out into every realm of
the home every home he's in he can be a Christ-centered man maybe he's a
son make sure you're a Christ-centered son or a Christ-centered husband
or a Christ-centered father and this hour in generation do you know what
men are on that high street and we've seen it in limerick they're
abusive of women they're neglectful they're adulterous the city of
limerick they can't even be faithful to one woman and I'm telling you
that is not love don't talk about love when a man cannot be faithful to
you and committed to you I'm talking about what is normal in our culture
99 they are unfaithful they are drunkards they are liars they are
authoritarian they're wimps they're weak they are followers rather than
leaders they are yes men compromising you know what all of that is that
is the utter opposite of what I'm saying here my third point a Christ-
centered man give me a Christ-centered man you know a real man that's in
Christ I mean in Christ and Christ is in him he looks like something he
is not weak-willed he is not a wimp he is not following everyone else he
is standing taking the lead and I believe again in the church we need
Christ-centered men in this church and I want you to be Christ-centered
men in your homes because if you're Christ-centered men in your homes
you're gonna bring it into the church I don't want a Sunday morning
Christianity it's no good for anyone I want men who are Christ-centered
if you're single and you're in the home then grow up being a young man
godly godly walking in Christ-centeredness here in Ephesians chapter
five listen to what it says about a Christ-centered man I'm
concentrating on the husband but listen I mean far more than that this
is the mark of a real man in Christ verse 23 for the husband is the head
of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the
savior of the body here it is saying for this reason for the husband or
for this very reason do you realize that the husband in a home in a
family is to be the head this is biblical teaching this is the truth in
Christ it's not an option it doesn't even matter if the wife is saved
and the husband is not it doesn't mean the wife is the head because he
isn't saved in fact Peter teaches the opposite he said you wife said you
are saved and your husband isn't he's still the head and this is what
the church gets so wrong it doesn't see the order of God and yet our
generation they're so against this principle what is a real Christ-
centered man he's going to be the head of that home it's non-negotiable
it's not even a discussion point he is going to know the plan of God for
him God's will for him is to be the head I don't mean he's to gain the
head I don't mean he's to win it or to earn it or to fight for it you
see if I am something I won't fight you about it I'll just smile you
disagree and say you're a liar I'll just smile at you and say lies don't
slip out of this mouth I want to tell you I tell the truth I speak the
truth if you call me a liar why would I waste my time arguing with you
if you are the head of a home if you are the man of the home and the
bible says you're the head why would I try to fight my way into that
position I don't grow into it I don't try to gain it I don't try to earn
it you know what I am the head of that home if a woman takes up this
role as the head of the home she has stolen it from the man and from God
and she's in disobedience you couldn't be a Christ-centered woman who
rejects this you may wrestle with it you may need sanctified in that
area you may need to work through all the issues involved but you know
what as a Christ-centered man you are going to be the head of the home
what does that mean it means leadership if anyone's going to suffer
you're going to suffer you know I don't have much respect for a man if
someone broke into the house at night or you hear something at the back
door or some man with a hood comes up the front door and you say go on
you answer that door I have very little respect for that man you know
what a real man and I'm not even talking about a Christ-centered man I
mean a real man you know what really disappoints me is how few real men
we have and how few real women we have in this hour you see a real man
will run towards trouble he will be the first on the scene he will
protect a wife God help the guy whoever breaks into our house and who I
think is going to harm my wife God help the man on the high street who I
hope you're never there if a man lifts his hand to my wife I hope you're
never there because you'll see a certain attribute of Keith Malcolmson
that I hope is well hidden and only comes out in emergency you see I'm
talking about a real man is marked by leadership by provision by
protection if anyone's going to get hurt I will get hurt that is
headship that's what it means to be head of the home I'm going to lead
I'm going to go where it's going to be scary at times I'm going to carry
the financial provision I'm going to care for this home wife don't you
worry I'm going to carry the burdens I'm going to wrestle with fears I'm
going to try and find the answers since it shouldn't be a wife at home
that's worrying about those things if you're a Christ-centered man you
want to carry the burden you want to lead the way you want to be an
example don't start telling your wife or the ladies in this church what
they ought to be you men are you Christ-centered men in this church you
see I'm not talking about the women here the first priority is you are
to be the head you ought to be carriers of responsibility you ought to
be leading the way in prayer and evangelism in the will of God are you
men in this church example of what the ladies are to become you say I'm
putting the emphasis on you because the bible does an attack on the
headship of the man in the home is an attack on the headship of Christ
in the church there are many in the church today they say I don't
believe that we're all equal and we are oh in Christ the grace of God
makes us equal we are but it doesn't remove the order of the church it
doesn't remove order in the family you know those who reject the
headship of men in the family and home they are attacking the headship
of Christ how can Christ be revealed in the home as the head if we
destroy that in the home if the wife becomes the head she becomes the
main provider she leads she takes all the risks she carries all the
burdens isn't there a denial of the headship of Christ in that home
aren't we losing a Christ-centered home there's something beautiful
about a man being the head the husband is the head he receives
information from the body you know a head that doesn't listen to the
body's a sick head do you hear that a head that doesn't listen that body
goes there's something wrong you know anytime I get a wee funny knee or
a funny knee elbow joint and I go you know what I'm not going to use
that arm for a wee bit and I'm just rest put your leg up don't don't go
for a long walk don't do lots of chin-ups or anything else just rest
that part of the body that's the head considering the body you know as a
pastor as a preacher if I see you cannot manage something I want to ease
things off I don't want to put burdens on you that you cannot carry and
a husband does the same a husband who does not listen to the functioning
of that home who allows stresses who makes demands who gets frustrated
and yet doesn't take into consideration the problems he's not
functioning as the head he also makes decisions he needs wisdom the head
must decide and he gives direction and every hurt every need every
pressure every idea he gives direction he carries a responsibility but
listen to be the head you need to be a submitted man I'm talking about a
Christ-centered man we've got a lot of people in the church say I'm
focused on Christ because I talk about him and I pray about him and I
talk about a Christ-centered life are you the head are you carrying
burdens but listen are you submitted are you submitted as a man to the
authority of Jesus Christ how can you be Christ-centered if you're not
submitted to God what do I mean submitted a man under the authority of
God if you're not under authority why would you think your wife should
be or your children remember if you reject the authority of man in the
home then the kids have the right to reject the authority of the wife it
says in Ephesians 6 and 1 children obey your parents in the Lord this is
children having Christ-centered obedience it's not natural obedience
it's not worldly obedience children obey your parents in the Lord for
this is right in other words even a child can learn in Christ if I
follow my own selfish pride and arrogance I won't listen my parents but
in Christ because of Christ through Christ I do want to actually obey I
want to follow authority has to be in the home if you do not practice
submission why should anyone submit to you why why would your children
listen to you if you can't listen to your husband if you can't listen to
your husband the children would have every right to rebel against your
authority and in fact I believe many husbands don't submit to God
therefore their wives reject their authority if you're not submitted to
God don't be surprised there's a rebellion in your home wives if you
cannot practice authority and submission no wonder if your children do
not listen to you exhorting children obey it means to hear under to be
in a place under submitted to your parents where you can listen to them
in the Lord as unto Christ that's where you're to do it it says in
Colossians 3 and 20 children obey your parents in all things for this is
well pleasing in the Lord you see the husband is to be a man if he's to
be Christ centered he is the head of that home but also the great mark
of his life is love you cannot be Christ centered as a man either as a
son a husband or as a father without the mark of love love is the great
duty of the husband towards his wife without authority or headship he
cannot love as he ought to if a wife does not give the husband his God-
given position his birthright of authority why would you expect that he
ought to love you why demand of a man you ought to love me when you
don't give him his rightful position you see authority and love flow
together if you don't acknowledge authority then love is affected by
that if you acknowledge the authority I promise you there is love that
flows out of that in verse 25 it's a command of husbands love your wives
love your wives notice the wives aren't told to love the husbands they
are to love their husbands but you know what a husband doesn't demand a
need as an essential that you love him but you know what a wife
absolutely needs love the word love here is agapio it is God's love it
is Christ centered love it's not natural love the only place you get the
word agapio used that isn't in reference to God it's about the darkness
in John chapter 3 and it's demonic it is so dark they love darkness
rather than light and you know what that isn't a natural darkness when
you see the darkness in our world at the minute that is not the love of
darkness at this time is not natural it is demonic it is supernatural it
is spiritual how men are loving darkness at this time but you know
everywhere else in the new testament where you get the word agapio it is
a love that isn't natural it's not human men you cannot love out of your
own self if you think I've come to the end of love I'm impatient I'm
harsh all of that we do have our limits if we rely on ourself we will
come to the end of love we will not have love but you know what I'm
talking about Christ centered love a love that comes from the heart of
Christ we are to love dearly in a way that it pleases God and it's
connected to God and has its source in God the word love appears here
six times concerning the man love love is mentioned six times as the
dominant mark of a real man you think a real man is the man who takes
control abuses commands who doesn't listen that's not a real man the
mark of a real man is this love we preached 12 messages on the family in
the home about three or four years ago and I went through this and I
showed how this love is sacrificial love it is selfish love it is
sanctifying love it is sensible love it is sustaining love it is
separated love and it is super abundant love the love of a Christ
centered man is remarkable and I assure you if a man loves like this he
shouldn't be shocked if his wife says I would desire to yield I want to
submit I want to follow I want to listen the demand is not where you
demand of a woman what she is to be to be Christ centered the man ought
to take the lead and say if she never respects me never listens me never
follows me never gives my me my position you know what I am going to
love her in Ephesians chapter 5 the example given is Christ's love a
Calvary it's a Christ centered man is one who imitates the love shown at
Calvary he died for sinners those who rejected him and despised him but
fourth and lastly a Christ centered woman what is a Christ centered
woman I'll tell you what she's not I'll tell you what she's not see in
this world in this hour do you know what a woman is on that high street
in Limerick do you know what she's like she's a gossip she's a slander
she's a leader she's butch she's immoral she's independent she's
intemperate she's a manipulator in society in school in the workplace in
politics in home in the church it's a sad thing that we have this invade
in the church and now we have women in the church they're not Christ
centered anymore they don't obey the scripture they don't imitate the
person of Christ you know a man is to imitate Christ in the home he is
the great example of Christ down on the cross why would your children
believe a Christ who died on the cross that you tell them about when you
don't embody that when that love doesn't affect you when they don't see
that sacrifice in the home they're going to doubt Calvary's love but
also with a mother there's nothing more precious than a real Christian
woman in this hour where are the real Christian women who embody and
manifest the life of the Lord Jesus Christ you see you ladies are given
in the church and home to embody what it is to respect the Lord Jesus
Christ your life your attitude your words your actions your decisions
you are going to embody what it looks like when a person submits to
Christ who acknowledges God-given authority you see I'm talking about a
daughter a wife a mother even if you're widowed divorced or single I'm
talking about a Christ-centered woman I don't care if you're single here
this morning you're to embody this truth of godly submission and of
respect to Christ you ought to be marked by that in such a way that us
men are convicted and saying that's what our heart should be towards the
Lord Jesus Christ what you embody I wanted to imitate in a very real way
notice that men and women when we go back to Genesis they are made at
different times they are made in different ways they are made
differently I know there's a shock to you this morning but just bear
with me they're made with a different purpose from the very creation
they were distinct do you realize before sin entered the world man was
the head woman was made as a help this isn't a result of sin or the fall
grace does not change the order of God men and women were both made with
complementary roles towards each other they have similarity they have
unity they have compatibility yet variety differences of roles and
differences of function both have what the other does not have but the
other needs remember the famous quote we've often said it in math from
Matthew Henry listen to what he said the woman was made of a rib out of
the side of Adam not out of his head to rule over him not out of his
feet to be trampled on by him but out of his side to be equal with him
under his arm to be protected and near his heart to be beloved that's
what Matthew Henry said 500 years ago wives what are you to be like
according to Ephesians chapter 5 it says in verse 22 through to 24 about
submission you are to submit to your husband as the church is to submit
to Christ if you can imitate our as the church our submission to Christ
that is your example whether you like it whether you don't like it
whether it's easy whether it's hard you have one example the church
submitted to Christ if you're convinced in your heart that the church
should not submit to Christ should not come under his authority then
cast away this truth but when you look at the church in Christ and you
see submission this thing called submission then your heart should
desire to embody this you are given as an example of the bride of Christ
you are to embody certain attributes the word submit means to be
subordinate to to obey to be under yield under one at one's advice or
admonition it's a military term that you use in the army you know as an
army for five years and the bible says this about submission everyone is
submitted here everyone ought to be do you know i'm submitted to this
church do you know i'm submitted to every person in this body it says
here in Ephesians 5 21 submit all of you to each other in the fear of
God we're all submitted you see no one escapes from this i am a
submitted man i'm not only submitted to God i am submitted in all things
in this realm of the church and even in the home i listen to my wife i
have to make a decision is that why i want it to be painted pink let's
look for some wisdom here i want this enormous picture on the wall let's
have some wisdom here but since we need to have a hard attitude of
submission all of us are submitted it says in verse 21 submitting
yourselves one to another in the fear of God you can only submit if
you're in the fear of God we're told about husbands and wives submission
and authority we're told about Christ and the church submission and
authority in chapter 6 parents and children submission and authority
then in chapter 6 masters and servants all of this is revealed even in
the Bible it talks about the maids in home and their attitude towards
the boss or the master do you remember in Naaman's home he was a Syrian
general he invaded Israel he took captives prisoners slaves one of those
young slaves was a young girl taken away from her family taken away from
her home who could possibly understand that why would God allow this to
happen to her she's carried north into Syria into a foreign land with a
foreign language and now she's a servant she's not in her own home
anymore she's carried as a slave and there she is she becomes the maid
or the servant of Naaman's wife she's brought in and said you're gonna
serve her there's no promise of getting free there's no six-year service
and then you go be your own person as far as she knows she's in a
position you know that little girl embodied submission to authority I
believe she was a godly girl because you know what she knew what a
prophet of God was she believed God could heal leprosy she believed that
God would have mercy on a sinner and when her master got leprosy and he
was going to die from it that wee girl went to her mistress and say you
know I know a man of God a prophet in Israel do you know what you're
looking at a little young slave girl who submitted she's single she's
not married she's not a mother she's only a young girl she's alone she's
isolated from the house of God and her own family and her own land and
her own language and you know what she's embodying faith in God she was
a submitted girl every one of you has an important part to play do you
realize if she wasn't a submitted to authority she wouldn't have cared
about that man but she did care she wouldn't have had faith for his
healing but she did she could have said God curse you but she didn't say
that she could say they're abusing me she didn't say that she could have
had a bargain and said if you let me go I can give you an answer she
didn't do that you know what she says I know a man that can help you you
see when we understood submission and authority the power of God comes
but wives are not only to submit you know wives in submission is the
will of God and the plan of God and the power of God and the purpose of
God outworked but also there's respect let me finish on this respect in
verse 33 says nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love
his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband
a Christ-centered husband loves his wife without selfish ambition even
if she does not live up to he loves her and sacrifices for her what does
the wife look like she reverences her husband the word reverence means
to honor respect in fact it has a word of being in awe of not in bondage
it's talking about a warmth of respect and of reverence you know what a
man needs he needs respect you may not like him you may not like how he
acts but he does need respect just like a man is to give love even if
his wife does not live up to it a husband ought to be given respect you
say well he's not worthy of it what's that got to do with it you're
commanded to respect your husband in fact if you want to be a Christ-
centered wife you are commanded give respect where respect is due don't
withhold it we see this attitude even in Mary the mother of Jesus some
of you grandmothers need to be cautioned you've raised your children
either good or bad you've had your day of raising children now you get
to look after your grandchildren do you reverence the authority of your
sons do you respect the authority of a home you see there's been problem
over the years where grandparents have fiddled in families speaking
sticking their nose in manipulating that's a very dangerous thing to do
it's a very dangerous thing you know grandmothers even Christian ones
can take a place of authority they should never touch Mary who is the
mother of Jesus has been given a position at Cana of Galilee of
organizing the wedding she's responsible for the wine of all the
preparations of organizing Jesus and the disciples arrive late in the
day she's got everything organized but the wine has gone there's nothing
more to drink she turns to Jesus and said Jesus there's no more wine you
know what he says woman what have I got to do with you he's 30 years old
Ian do you understand what I'm saying here this morning here's Jesus
walking into the wedding and Mary's saying Jesus you need to do
something about this what does he say mom I'm 30 years old woman what
have I got to do with you you know what I believe it was for an hour
here is Jesus a single man that is his mother but there's an hour and a
time where Mary's got to begin to realize there's a changing of
everything here I believe there's a radical change here you know what
she says whatsoever he tells you to do you make sure you do it she's
responsible at that wedding the servants are listening to her you know
what she says you servants listen to him she begins to acknowledge
another authority to give respect where it's due you know a wife ought
to respect her husband mothers as your sons grow up and get married you
need to respect a different authority everything's changed that's not
the son that you reared and brought into this world there is an absolute
another authority a family you cannot override that you see I'm saying
this because I've seen mothers who and I've seen it with my own eyes
godly mothers but they're not being Christ-centered do you know what to
do the father in that home he says don't give them sweeties leave them
alone do you know what the mommy says and she's so filled with love oh
no sure sure just give them sure just let them sure let them do whatever
you know what that is that is not Christ-centered respect that is
actually since I'm telling you that a Christ-centered family and home
operates in a certain way it is certain attributes anyone could say
they're centered on Christ Christ is the center of my life he is my goal
well then bring it into your home bring it into your relationships bring
it into your marriage bring it into your life I do not only want a
Christ-centered life and a Christ-centered church but I want a Christ-
centered family I want families making up this church where Christ is
the center of all things will you stand with me morning hallelujah
hallelujah hallelujah praise you oh god as we come to break bread
together we're going to close break bread remember the death of the lord
Jesus Christ since as a family we are the church we are a family meeting
together listen to what it says about the husband and the wife being an
example it says there that the husband is the head of the wife even as
Christ is the head of the church and he is the savior of the body
therefore as the church is submitted or subject unto Christ let the
wives be of their own husbands and everything husbands love your wives
even as Christ also loved the church as we break bread we are a family
we are a family this church is an actual family we are to embody that
and reflect the reverence the love the respect the submission the
authority all of this is to be in the local body a way of operating on
order and all those things loving each other caring for weaknesses
taking the lead the responsibility do you know who's the head over this
family if this church is a family a home a house do you know who has
authority do you know who carries that ultimate authority it's the lord
Jesus Christ he loves this church as a family he is the husband man he
is the head he is ruler over it he is in absolute control he is the one
that's to provide for this church he is to love you to the point of
death and he did that he is to sacrifice for you he is the one that
provides all of your needs but you know what he's looking for submission
that we would submit to his authority that we would give him reverence
as we break bread since he is has done it he loved you with a perfect
love but as we break bread here as the family of God do you know what
your duty is to the Lord Jesus Christ is to reverence him give him that
place of ultimate respect to acknowledge him to submission to him are
you submitted here this morning as the body of Christ he's the head of
this home are we submitted because I promise you if we're submitted to
him there's going to come divine miracles in the midst of us if you
haven't come and taken already please come and we're going to take of
the bread and the wine together at home as well make sure

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Video: https://sermonindex2.b-cdn.net/yNTBxtxTXio.mp4
Source: https://sermonindex.net/speakers/keith-malcomson/the-centrality-of-christ-in-the-family/
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