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  CRYING OUT TO HEAR AND SEE JESUS PERSONALLY
  by Santosh Poonen
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Summary: This sermon emphasizes the importance of having a personal,
intimate relationship with Jesus, highlighting the need to cry out to
Him desperately, seek His presence, and hear His voice individually. It
encourages believers to regain their spiritual sight, follow Jesus
closely, and prioritize hearing from Him daily to truly experience His
power and guidance in their lives.

Duration: 1:04:19 Topics: "Intimacy with Christ", "Spiritual Awakening"
Scripture References: John 10:27, Psalms 62:5, Mark 10:46, 2 Chronicles 16:9, Romans 8:14

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DESCRIPTION
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This sermon emphasizes the importance of having a personal, intimate
relationship with Jesus, highlighting the need to cry out to Him
desperately, seek His presence, and hear His voice individually. It
encourages believers to regain their spiritual sight, follow Jesus
closely, and prioritize hearing from Him daily to truly experience His
power and guidance in their lives.

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CONTENT
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I think the children should be able to answer this. Who are the sons of
God? Yes, there is. Those who are being led by the Spirit.

Yes. Yeah. I want to show you two verses, family, before I begin.

One is in John chapter 1. It's very important that we know what these
verses mean. Romans 8 is a very, very powerful chapter, and I'm so
excited that the primary class is actually teaching me a weekly
reminder, even before we get up and hear the message about the life we
are called to live. I'm going to look at Romans 8 14 in a second, but I
want you to start by looking at John chapter 1 verse 12.

This is a verse that many Christians know. I remember memorizing this
when I was a new believer, and it's absolutely true. John 1 verse 12, as
many as received him, and let's skip to the end of that verse, even to
those who believe in his name, he gave the right to become children of
God.

So here we see about two things, receiving and believing. Receiving and
believing. You receive and believe, and I believe that true belief, true
receiving Christ, and true believing in Christ implies repentance.

You cannot receive Christ unless you're turning from sin, unless you're
turning from yourself, love of self, and love of this world. You cannot
love Christ and love this world or love yourself. So to receive and to
believe in Christ is to turn from sin, receive and believe in him.

And I want to start, before I go on any further, children, if any of you
are old enough to understand what I'm saying, and you haven't turned
from your sin, received Christ and believed in him, you can do it today.
Nobody here will put pressure on you, nobody should, even your parents
won't put pressure on you, but I hope you will. That's the reason we
meet like this, to remind all of us.

See the danger, children, is that you'll grow up in a church like this
that preaches the truth, or in any church for that matter, and think
that just because you go to church, you're a Christian. Many people
across the world think that because they go some particular place on a
Sunday morning, that makes them a Christian. It's a lie of the devil,
he's deceived so many people.

Adults, if you're sitting here and you haven't made a clear confession
of your hope, you haven't turned from your sin and said, Lord Jesus, I
forsake my sin, I forsake myself, I want to be yours, I want you to be
the Lord of my life. Adults or children, if you haven't done it, don't
delay any further. And so children, I hope you'll grow up in this church
knowing that that's where the journey begins, and I hope that you will
also be a light to your friends around you.

Many of whom also go to churches, church buildings really is all they
are on a Sunday morning, thinking that therefore they will go to heaven,
or they're pleasing to God. The only way to be pleasing to God, we make
it very very simple, the only way to be pleasing to God, if his spirit
is within you. If you have good works, a good marriage, good home, you
take care of your children, you don't cheat on your wife, you're a moral
person, that's not pleasing to God.

And one day at the end of your life, you will see you weren't pleasing
to God. The only thing that's pleasing to God is the righteousness of
Christ in us. It's plain and simple, we sang about it.

That's the only thing that's pleasing to him. And so whether you're a
child or an adult here, and you've never received Christ into your, the
spirit of Christ into your heart, don't delay. There are many people who
thought, not quite ready, and they never had the chance to get ready,
because that was the last time they had.

Met a car accident, or something happened that took them into eternity
in a moment. And I hope that nobody sitting in this room, or listening
to this, that that will be their eternal destiny. That they put off for
one more day, what they should have done today.

I'm not trying to threaten you, or force your arm into the kingdom of
heaven, please. Even God himself doesn't do that. God knows about hell
more than any of us do.

He knows this, the fearsomeness of hell. It's a scary place, it's the
most horrible experience anybody will ever have, and it's forever. But
even God himself, knowing how horrible hell is, does not force people
into his kingdom.

And he won't force you, we won't force you, but we appeal to you. Be
reconciled to God, Paul said. Be reconciled to God.

You don't have to work hard at it, you don't have to try. Jesus has
already finished that work of reconciliation. You just have to turn to
him, and be reconciled to God.

Reconciled, it's a big word children. That means everything is good
between you and God. If you haven't repented of your sins, you haven't
received Christ in your life.

I want to tell you the truth. Everything is not right between you and
God. He's a good God, he's a loving God, but everything is not right
between you and God.

If you haven't repented of your sins, and you haven't turned to God, and
received Christ's spirit within you, everything is not right. But
everything can be right, simply turning to him, and believing, and
receiving, having repented. Immediately he says, you're my child.

And you will have the Holy Spirit within you. Little children
especially, I want to speak to you. You will have his Holy Spirit within
you, telling you, you have a daddy in heaven.

I tell you, I have that. You talk to us adults who are born again, who
are truly born again. We have a voice within us, a little voice saying,
Santosh has a daddy in heaven, that's much greater.

I have a wonderful father, earthly father, but my heavenly father is
even better. And you children in this church, you have tremendously good
fathers. But I want to tell you, there's a father that's even better.

And you can have that father watching over you. Somebody you can talk to
every day. Even in the middle of the night, you can talk to him, and
call him daddy.

Oh he'll love to hear you call him daddy. It begins by repenting, and
believing, and receiving. It says, John 1 verse 12.

I hope this verse will be one you'll never forget. If as many, that
means it could be all seven billion people in the world today. And all
the billions that have lived before that, as many.

There's enough room in heaven for everybody. Unfortunately many people,
more people will turn away from it, than will receive it. And I hope you
won't be one of them.

As many. There's enough room for you, dear child, dear brother, dear
sister. If you've been wandering from God for a long time, putting it
off, been waiting, thinking, ah you know, it's for the adults, or if
it's for somebody else.

Or you know deep down, you haven't made that profession of faith, that
turning. You can't say for sure the Holy Spirit dwells within you. Yeah
I know your outward life looks good, but you don't know for sure.

Then today is the day, my dear brother, dear sister, today is the day of
salvation. As many, I love that phrase, as many as received him, he gave
the right. You have a privilege, you have a right.

You know this, in this country, we hear a lot about rights. Don't tread
on my rights. You'll see bumper stickers.

They're usually talking about guns, and whether I can do this, or I can
do that. Those rights will come and go. And even if you lived in a
country where you didn't have those rights, it would be perfectly okay.

There's one right that matters in eternity. There's only one right that
matters to me, I'll tell you honestly. Not ashamed to say, there's only
one right that matters.

My right to be called a child of God. Jesus died and rose again for
that. And think what a tragedy it would be, that Jesus died and rose
again, so that you could be his younger brother, his younger sister,
little child.

That you also could be a child of God, and you missed it. As many as
received him, to them he gave the right to become the children of God,
even to those who believe in his name. But as we saw, let's turn to
Romans chapter 8. It doesn't stop there.

And you children also know, when you're born into your family, you're
born as a child. But you know, I was once a child, but I'm not a child
anymore. Would you call me a child? No.

You know, I'm in my 40s. I'm not a child anymore. Some of you can't wait
to not be, you know, we tease then that he's a little baby.

He says, no I'm not. I'm a big boy. I hope we all have that mentality,
spiritually.

I'm not a baby anymore. I'm a big boy. For that, you need to return to
Romans chapter 8. Are you a spiritual baby, or are you a spiritual big
boy? That's a question now for all of you who are born again.

If you want to be a spiritual big boy, a son, or a daughter, you must be
led by the Holy Spirit. Romans 8 verse 14. The children said it over and
over again.

How many times? 12 times maybe? We heard that verse this morning. Romans
8 verse 14. All.

There's that big word again. As many. John 1 verse 12.

Romans 8 verse 14. All. Whoever.

All who are being led by the Spirit of God. These are the sons of God.
Now he's not talking about children anymore.

He's talking about sons and daughters. That word son represents
maturity. It means that you were once upon a time a child and you were
just content to be a child of God.

You repented, believed, received Jesus. But as you heard often in this
church, that's just the beginning. That's where the journey starts.

Now God wants you to grow up to be a son. Imagine if you knew that I was
in my 40s but I was still kind of sucking my thumb, playing with toys,
still had a diaper, wearing a diaper. You think, Santosh, what happened?
Now sometimes physically there are adults who because of a physical
disability, they can't take care of themselves.

That's okay. But spiritually there's no reason why we should still be in
diapers, still sucking our thumb like a little baby, still taken up with
childish things, still more interested in monopoly money than the real
money. That's a child.

And there are many Christians who've repented even, received and believe
in Christ, but they're still children. They're not being led by the
Spirit of God. They still love money, earthly money, dollars and jobs
and careers, which from eternity's perspective is like monopoly money.

One day God will wrap up this earth, fold it up, and as many houses as
somebody had, and if somebody else had no houses, it all goes into the
box. And after the box is closed, it doesn't matter who won or lost.
What matters is eternity.

It doesn't matter how many homes you have, doesn't matter even if you
never have a house, dear children, dear brothers and sisters, doesn't
matter how much money you have. You will see plenty of people in the
world that have more money than you, others that have much less than
you. Let's be humble and let's not be jealous.

But remember that all of this, even the world recognizes it, that you
can't take your money with you. No matter how nice the suit is that
somebody's wearing in their coffin, it doesn't matter. When you get to
heaven, what suit you wear, whether you didn't even have money for a
suit, won't matter.

Are you clothed in the righteousness of Jesus? That's what will matter
in heaven. And there's so many men and women that were clothed in nice
dresses and garments and suits in their coffin, burning in hell today,
suffering for all eternity, because they refused to receive Christ. But
as I was saying, as many as are being led by the Spirit, and that's why
we speak in this church often, and if you're born again, many of you
children, young people, and I hope all of you adults, truly are born
again.

The life of Christ is in you. The Spirit of Christ is within you. But
you must cry out for the power of the Holy Spirit.

That Spirit that comes within you, the Spirit of Jesus, is like a little
seed. And now that little seed wants to grow into a little plant and a
little tree that can feed you, that can nurture you. And the Holy Spirit
wants to be somebody who can lead you.

He's a person. It's not a thing. The Holy Spirit is not a thing.

He's a person. Just like I'm a person, your parents are persons. When
you say, all of you children, I believe, have fathers that live in the
home with you.

When you say that, I have a daddy, what does that mean? Is it just
something? Like you say, oh, I have a car, or I have a baseball bat. No.
You have a daddy.

That means he's a person. You talk to him. He plays baseball with you.

There's a complete difference between having a baseball bat in your
home, which can be useful, or a glove, or a nice little toy, a video
game, Nintendo game maybe. It's a completely different thing to have a
father. And I'm sure any one of you, no matter how old you are, would
say, I give up all of those things to have a daddy.

Some children don't have a daddy in their home. They grew up as orphans.
And I think if you asked them honestly, they'd say, oh, you can have all
the video games and baseball bats.

I wish I could have a daddy. Orphans, they're called. So to have a daddy
is a powerful thing.

But it's a person. And in the same way, the Holy Spirit is a person, and
He wants to come and dwell within you and lead you, not just be there.
And I tell you, for many years, brothers and sisters and children, the
Holy Spirit was within me, but He was sort of like in a back room.

I never heard from Him. He was just there. Yeah, I know I let Him in the
door once, but I have no idea where He is now.

That was my testimony for many years. It's like, you know, let's say
somebody came into your house, and then a visitor. Sometimes that
happens, some of your family's a visitor at home, and then it's time to
leave.

And like, hey, where's one of my children? They're somewhere in the
house. I don't know where. We need to find them because they need to
leave.

Is the Holy Spirit like that? He rang the doorbell. He came in, but all
of a sudden, you kind of lost track of where He is. He's in some back
room over there.

You're aware that He's supposed to be there, but honestly, you don't
know if He's still there or not. That's not the Christian life. It's
quite another thing if I were to ask you children, do you have a daddy?
He says, yeah.

If I come to your house and say, hey, where's daddy? You say, I'll take
you right to him. He may be in the office right now working, but I know
where he is. Is the Holy Spirit like that to you? Do you know Him? Can
you, if I was to come into your heart, or anybody else was to come into
your heart and say, where is the Holy Spirit in your life today? You
say, yes, He's right here.

He spoke to me this morning about how I treated my wife, let's say, or
He convicted me yesterday about that thought I had, that proud, self-
centered thought. That's where the Holy Spirit is in my heart today.
He's there.

I hear Him. Not just the conviction of sin, but righteousness and
judgment that the ruler of this world is judged. You can say, if I ask
you, do you know where the Holy Spirit is in the house of your heart?
You say, yes, yesterday when the devil came at me with condemnation, the
Holy Spirit came back at the devil and said, no, you're judged, devil.

Does the Holy Spirit speak like that to you? Then you know Him. You're
being led by Him day by day, hour by hour. Oh, that we would all come to
this life, being led by the Spirit.

It's a powerful, powerful life. It's a life of freedom. It's the only
way to live a life where nothing on this earth can have control over
you.

No bad mood, no false, no bad news from the doctor or from some other
person. It's also the only life by which we can really love our enemies.
I'm going to speak about prayer.

So I hope what I said makes at least a little bit of sense to you,
especially children. And if you don't understand it and you want to
understand it a little bit more, and I hope I've conveyed to you the
importance of it. One day we will all be in eternity forever.

There will be no more chance to repent. There will be no more chance to
receive Jesus. It will be over.

It's appointed to man once to die and after this the judgment. And
children, you know there are some children that didn't live to be 15,
didn't live to be 18. It's appointed to every individual once to die and
after this the judgment.

After that, what that means is, after that, there won't be any more
chance to live again. I tell you the one cry from hell, the one cry from
hell is give me one more minute. Oh that I could have one more minute.

This is the cry from hell. Give me one more minute. They plead.

Give me one more minute and I'll ask Jesus into my heart then. It's too
late. It's appointed to man once to die and after this the judgment.

So it's a serious thing. Eternity is not something we play around with.
If you mess up with what job you take or if you mess up in a exam in
your school and you get a wrong answer, even if you fail in an exam in a
subject in school, that's okay.

You can do it again. You can repeat even the whole year. Nothing wrong
with that.

It's okay. But you can't repeat your life. You can never repeat your
life.

You can repeat fifth grade. You can repeat seventh grade. Any grade on
this earth you can repeat.

You fail your driver's test. You can try it again. You cannot repeat
your life.

So it's a serious thing. I'd like to talk about prayer but before I do
that, the preschool children reminded us that when you're not sure about
what to pray for, you think oh you know things are pretty good. I don't
know what to pray for.

I'll tell you think of an enemy. Somebody that's hurt you. Somebody
that's done some harm to you.

Somebody that taken advantage of you perhaps. Stolen something from you
or tarnished your reputation or spread false news about you and pray for
them. I tell you love your enemies and pray for them who persecute you,
Jesus said.

You say it again. Jesus said I say to you love your enemies. Pray for
them who persecute you.

Now this prayer life where we're even praying for our enemies, you can
manufacture it. You can pretend to say it but when it becomes like a
well springing up within you. When you hear that somebody else has
spoken evil of you or done something to you and you hear that somebody
else has gossiped about you or something like that and your reaction is
love and prayer.

Then you know that you're being led by the spirit. Otherwise you know
like Jesus said if you only love those who are nice to you. What
difference is there between you and the Gentiles.

What's difference is there between you and the person who doesn't even
know about Jesus. Who is nice to those who are nice to them and unkind
to those who are unkind to them but to have this life where kindness
comes out from within me. When I am hit with unkindness.

Oh for that you need the spirit of God and I tell you I fall on my face
anytime I hear somebody else that's speaking evil of me or spreading
some rumor about me or something else has spoken about me. I fall on my
face and say Lord I still find there's a little bit of this reaction.
Why are they doing that to me? Why are they treating me like that?
Somebody maybe doesn't smile at me or acts in a way that I'm a little
bit suspicious about.

If you find that your natural response is what's going on with them? Why
don't they like me? Fall on your face and say Lord that's an area in my
life that I need to be led by the spirit. Give me your Holy Spirit where
the natural reaction to unkindness is love. Is prayer.

Genuine prayer. Where you want to want to pray for them. Not you have
to.

You know you can graduate from speaking where people speak evil of you
where you speak evil back. Then you can go to the next level which when
they speak evil of you you say nothing. Just silent.

Give them the silent treatment. Okay that's a that's an improvement from
where you speak evil in return. It says do not return evil for evil.

You used to do that. Now you say okay I'm not supposed to return evil
for evil. So the best but the best I can do is just not say anything in
return.

Just silent. Okay then God wants to take you up to another level where
you say Lord I must love them. I must pray for them.

And so you do that but there's another level yet where love and prayer
just comes out from within because you're filled with the Holy Spirit.
As many as are being led by the Spirit. These things that are not
humanly possible.

They are the sons of God. So I'd like to talk about prayer. A few weeks
ago I spoke about prayer.

That true prayer must begin by God planting his burden within us. Think
about that even within with with what we were just talking about.
Praying for our enemies.

Loving our enemies. Praying for those who persecute you. The prayer that
I pray for those who persecute you must begin from a burden for them.

In other words this person does some harm to me, persecutes me and the
time is coming when we will be persecuted for the sake of Christ. They
will speak all kinds of evil about us and spread all kinds of rumors
about us. But that prayer for them in order for it to really be a prayer
that's Spirit-led must begin with a burden where all of a sudden when
this person treats us badly or persecutes us or tortures us we have a
burden for them.

And if I've been living a life where I've been constantly allowing
Christ to lay his burden on me. Like I was talking about that donkey
that Jesus sat on. That became Christ became the burden for that donkey.

If that's been my way of life and say Lord lay your burdens on me, lay
your burdens on me, lay your burdens on me. Then when somebody mistreats
me my response is out of that burden that Christ has for that person.
And I'm filled with the love of God for those who mistreat me because
it's not so much about what they did to me anymore.

It's more about what they've done to Christ and the eternal destiny they
face without Christ that becomes my burden. I'd like you to turn to Mark
chapter 10. There's another picture of a story in the life of Jesus a
miracle actually that has become for me a picture of prayer.

And it's really been helping me as I think about how to pray. Mark
chapter 10. Begin reading in verse 46.

It's a story of Bartimaeus. You remember also when I was speaking about
prayer last time I said that we saw in Romans 8 that we don't know how
to pray. And the more you pray, the more you get to know God and the
more you intercede for others, the more you realize I really don't know
how to pray and I need the Holy Spirit to fill me.

Who cries out within me with groanings too deep for words. We read that
verse as well because we really don't know how to pray. And the world is
full of people who know how to pray.

You know think about it. Let's say we gather for a meal and somebody
says hey brother or sister can you pray. Is there a spirit of yeah yeah
I know what to pray.

Oh we're just praying for the meal right. Okay yeah I know what the
right words are. That's a dangerous place to be where you know what to
pray.

You can pray the synthetic prayer. Yeah father thank you for this day.
Thank you for the food you've given us.

Please bless it blah blah blah. And that's a ritual prayer. But if you
find when somebody asks you to pray Lord what am I supposed to pray.

I know they've asked me to pray for the food but I don't know how to
pray. Fill me Lord with your Holy Spirit. Fill me with a prayer that
comes from heaven.

Not a prayer that begins here on this earth. Fill me with a prayer that
begins in heaven and it's like a cycle from you through you through your
Holy Spirit living within me and back to you. That's the prayer that God
hears.

Meanwhile I believe in most of Christendom there's prayer after prayer
after prayer going on. I believe that most prayers that are prayed from
this earth are not heard. That's my personal opinion.

Most prayers even said in the name of Jesus are not heard. We'll look at
that in a minute. Why? Why is it that you know prayer just just makes it
up to the ceiling.

That's it. Not even past that. And I never want to pray even one prayer
that doesn't make it all the way to heaven.

That's not heard at the throne of God by the king of heaven himself.
Remember we looked at Jesus who said Father I thank you that you always
hear me. He was always heard.

Every single prayer Jesus prayed was heard recorded in heaven. And I
want to make sure that every prayer that I pray is also likewise heard
in heaven. So Mark chapter 10 you begin reading verse 46.

I want you to see this situation with Bartimaeus like a picture of a
prayer meeting or even this meeting that we are in right now in a time
of prayer. When they then they came to Jericho and as he was leaving
Jericho with his disciples and a large amid a large crowd there was
Jesus with a large crowd and sometimes these prayer meetings can feel
like a large crowd. Everybody's praying.

Everybody's crying out to God but in the middle of that large crowd is
one person who cannot see. And I tell you my dear brother and sister,
dear children, if you are in a prayer meeting and say Lord I cannot see.
There's an area of darkness in my life.

Maybe you're it's complete darkness. You know the language and you know
what it means to sit in church and read your bible and you know how to
pray the ritual prayer but you you haven't really seen Jesus. And this
is the point I'm trying to make here and that is this that true prayer
is a burning desire to see Jesus clearly.

True prayer ultimately must be a burning crying out Lord I want to see
you. Yeah I know I've got this healing that I need and I've got that
other situation and I'm I need victory in this area and my marriage I
need to grow in that area. My children need this but Lord I want to see
you.

And if you're in a prayer meeting or you're sitting here in this meeting
right now and you there's a and a sense in which you don't really see
Jesus. I know you know the truth. I know you know the doctrine.

I know you're here for a reason but you're not seeing Jesus yourself and
you know it. Even your wife or your husband doesn't know it. Your
children maybe don't know that and you're the head of your home but
you're not seeing Jesus.

He's sort of in a fog. If that's the case then let's go to Bartimaeus as
an example. Jesus was leaving Jericho with his disciples and a large
crowd.

A blind beggar named Bartimaeus the son of Timaeus was sitting by the
road and he heard that it was Jesus the Nazarene. And maybe you can even
hear his voice. What do you think? Imagine Jesus that was in his um uh
imagine Bartimaeus that was sitting there and he hears Jesus's voice in
the distance.

You know people are talking they're calling upon the name of Jesus and
uh he maybe he can even hear Jesus talking to other people. There's
Bartimaeus in this crowd and Jesus is talking to the others but not to
Bartimaeus. I've been in prayer meetings myself where I sense that Jesus
seems to be talking to that person.

That other brother seems to hear the voice of Christ and he's crying out
to him and he's getting revelation of God's word. But I'm sitting in the
same church sitting in the same prayer meeting and I don't seem to hear
the voice of Christ. I don't seem to be led by the Holy Spirit.

And my deepest burden dear brothers and sisters especially as members
those of you are members of this church is that we could sit here and
God can be speaking to others. God can even be speaking to us elders and
you're hearing from us from God through us but not hearing from God
directly. You're sitting there like Bartimaeus.

Jesus is talking to all the others. You can hear his voice sort of in
the distance. You're not hearing him talking to you personally.

Come to him. You hear his voice faintly but he's not talking to you.
What did Bartimaeus do and if that is your testimony today you're
sitting here even as a child and say well my daddy hears from God.

My mommy seems to hear from God but I never seem to hear from him.
Children you can take heart to Bartimaeus and I'll tell you this is what
you need to do what you can do just like Bartimaeus. Verse 49 when
Bartimaeus was aware that Jesus was passing by when he heard that it was
Jesus the Nazarene he began to cry out and say Jesus son of David have
mercy on me.

I hope that secretly from within many hearts this morning there will be
that cry Jesus son of David you died for me. You died for that other
brother that dad that person those adults but you died for me also.
Jesus son of David have mercy on me.

I can't seem to hear your voice. I don't seem to be led by you. Other
people when they have to make a decision they they're led by the Holy
Spirit but I don't seem to be led by the Holy Spirit.

Why? Don't just be content to sit in RLCR for year after year day you
know decade after decade not hearing from the Holy Spirit. Oh this is
the Holy Spirit has been sent out has been poured out. He's looking
going through every row here saying is there anybody that's wanting to
cry out like Bartimaeus saying Lord I haven't been hearing you.

Maybe I heard you when you first called me and I was born again but it's
been years since I knew the leading of the Holy Spirit. I heard your
voice speaking to me. Have you heard the voice of Jesus calling you by
name? Have you heard him say Santosh not Santosh but your name there? If
you hear him say Santosh then the message is for you.

You haven't heard him with your name there. He calls you. I tell you he
calls me.

I'm not I'm not trying to preach theory or some fantastical thing like
some mystical thing. It's a personal relationship where I hear him
calling me by name and it's a personal walk. He's walking with me.

He's holding my hand day by day. I'm led being led by him and I tell you
the reason this is a burden on my heart is because I'll tell you my
honest truth. I'm not afraid to ashamed.

I'm not ashamed to admit it that as one who heard about these things for
many years it still took me well into my 30s probably before this became
a reality in my life and my only burden in sharing that this morning is
that you don't wait that long. Now I'm not in I'm not condemned. I'm not
in guilt or shame over it.

I thank God that the times of ignorance he overlooks and now he calls me
to repent but I if you can come to that place where you know the power
of the Holy Spirit and the leading of the Holy Spirit in your teenage
years oh what a wonderful life is ahead of you children but the Holy
Spirit is speaking to you and leading you and he's walking with you step
by step by step you don't have to wait till you're 30 even or 20. It's a
life he wants you to have now beginning today as many he doesn't say for
all the adults who are being led by this spirit as many children I hope
you'll take Romans 8 verse 14 that you memorize to heart as many you say
Lord as many includes me I'm nine years old but as many includes nine-
year-olds too because Jesus when he was nine years old was led by the
Holy Spirit so if you're there and Jesus is speaking to others and you
hear his voice and you hear about him doing other miracles you're
sitting there like a blind Bartimaeus quiet afraid to sing afraid to cry
out to God afraid that maybe you've been pretending to see you know some
some people are able to their eyes are open but they still can't see
maybe people think that you can see spirit I'm talking about spiritually
now maybe you're the head of your home you're the husband supposed to be
the spiritual leader on your home but you haven't been able to see oh
don't be condemned don't be discouraged today I hope that today you will
lay ahold of God say Lord I'm not gonna I'm not gonna stop crying like
Bartimaeus until you open my eyes I want to see Jesus I want to see you
Lord you want to be seen by me and I will seek you with all of my heart
I'll lay aside all of my past uh hang-ups you know like we sing that
song bigger than all my hang-ups we all have hang-ups bigger than all
the mountains fears worries all of those things God is bigger than any
mountain that I can or cannot see and say Lord I want to see you remove
this mountain you're bigger than that and all that the Lord that the
Holy Spirit will peel away those scales from your eyes that you can see
Jesus and know him walk with him know what he looks like spiritually so
he cried unashamedly verse 48 says he began to cry out and say Jesus son
of David have mercy on me and again I you know in this case I think
people knew he was blind but what if this was somebody who really had
eyes but they couldn't see and the eyes were open but they still
couldn't see and everybody and everybody thought wait why are you crying
out you've been walking around as if you couldn't see all these you mean
you can't see either and that's perhaps where some of us are spiritually
we've got a reputation to preserve oh I cry out for the power of the
Holy Spirit and acknowledge my sin and my need of him what will people
think what will my wife think I've been submitting to you all these
years and you haven't been able to see Jesus oh lay aside all of that
forget all of your reputation forget all of that what you have to stand
by and what people think of you and cry out to him because this eternity
is at stake dear brother your sister your children eternity is at stake
if you want to see Jesus he wants to be seen by you and I tell you the
time came when I just said Lord it doesn't matter what people think I'm
going to cry out to you and it was in a prayer meeting that I cried out
to you and says Lord I know I'm my last name is Poonen I'm supposed to
know these things you know right because I was the home I was raised in
I said Lord all of that doesn't matter I need you Lord what does it
matter what my last name is if I haven't seen you Lord Jesus and he
poured out his Holy Spirit within in me and he's been pouring it out
within me and I'm seeing Jesus I tell you I'm not here to God is my
witness I one day God will hold me accountable for what I am just saying
I know it with all my heart God will hold me accountable if I'm lying to
you but I'm not dear brothers and sisters I'm not I know that I can tell
you Jesus is real and he's revealed himself to me revealing himself to
me in a real way in a way that he wants to do for you even if you've
been born again for 20 years you come to him today and say Lord I know I
gave you my life those 10 15 20 years ago but there's something that's
missing there's a scale over my eyes I haven't been able to see you I
want to see you Lord and he will open your eyes um I want to show you
this verse in Psalm 62 it's a beautiful verse keep a finger then Psalm
62 I want to just read a little bit further in the story in Bartimaeus
because it says in verse 48 that after they heard him crying out many
were sternly telling him to be quiet imagine if one day we're singing
like we were just singing and we have a time of prayer and we're having
that time of prayer and the prayer is being led but all of a sudden
you're crying out and say Lord I need you my eyes are blind and you're
crying out to him and all of a sudden what do you think I'm I'm probably
willing to admit that some of us will be like hold on what's going on
over there and I don't think anybody in this room will ever try to tell
you to be quiet I hope not and I believe not but if you're crying out
and you're you're crying out to God and it's genuine it's not a it's not
an emotional spirit it's not an evil spirit but it's the spirit of God
within you it's a need that you're crying out you're falling in your
face maybe everybody else is just sitting there but you come here and
kneel down not to be seen by men or you run outside that's even better
and go to an altar in secret and nobody can see you and you're falling
on your face before God or you have to drive home and say Lord I need
privacy with you but only you can see me and I need to fall on my face
and cry out to you and everybody wonders why did they leave the meeting
early and they don't know and they don't need to know but you need to
get alone with God that's the spirit of Bartimaeus and the more they try
to keep him quiet it says that cried he cried out all the more he kept
crying out all the more I don't know how long this went on but there's a
sense in which it says they were sternly telling him that means it's
multiple times and he kept crying out all the more that means for every
time that they told him to be quiet he cried even louder and they said
no no be quiet he cried even louder and the more they try to shut him
down the more he cried louder now like I said I don't think anybody in
this room will keep try to keep you quiet if you're crying out loud but
you yourself will your pride will want to keep you quiet your dignity
your sense of decorum will want to keep you quiet and when you hear
those voices and the devil instigating your pride to say hey don't don't
cry like that don't let those tears shed because you know what will
people think of you and Oh set it aside cry out even louder now I
believe that the true crying of my heart crying in your heart is perhaps
something that you don't even hear it's a cry from within because you
may be in a meeting and you don't want to bring a distraction and
perhaps bring a false spirit into it or you know draw attention to
yourself but is there a crying within I mean I tell you sometimes when
I'm seeing there's a crying within me it's so loud and I have to I have
to help lead the singing and I'm still leading the singing and I'm
singing the words but deep within me there's a welling there's a it's
like the Holy Spirit has got a hold of my heart he's squeezing my heart
does that happen to you when you sing when you say Lord we're the whole
realm of nature mine if I had everything in the universe all the
comfortable life that I could live even that would be a present far too
small love so amazing so divine demands my all my life my soul every
moment of my life belongs to you Lord this is the cry within your heart
and it's a crying out that nobody else can hear but God hears it this is
what it means to pray Psalm 62 verse 5 my soul waits in silence for God
only for my hope is from him he only is my rock and my salvation my
stronghold I shall not be shaken on God my salvation and my glory rest
the rock of my strength my refuge is in God trust in him at all times Oh
people so what the psalmist David is saying here is that over and over
again God is my only hope God is my only hope God is my only hope it
doesn't matter if other people hear me or don't hear me God is the one
who I want to hear and I haven't heard from him yet he hasn't given me
that victory that that I'm due over my oppressor over my flesh over the
devil I don't seem to have that spiritual authority that I'm called to
have and so what does he say in the middle of her say pour out your
heart before him pour out your heart before him this is prayer now when
I think of prayer I think of myself with a cup full of stuff and I said
pour it out Lord and I'm not going to leave until everything is
completely empty from this cup when it says pour out you know like if
you had a little bit of you were trying to empty a cup and you just
tilted it a little bit a little bit comes out but there's still more in
there have you prayed prayers like that well you tilted a little bit
yeah prayer comes out we've got one hour set aside for the Saturday
prayer meeting so okay let's just pray my three minute prayer and then
let somebody else prayer that's a little tip tilting but then you
progress further and you're saying Lord but I'm not I'm not done and
even if the prayer meetings ended there's a burning within you and you
want you can't wait to go back home and maybe lock yourself in the
shower or the bathroom or a bedroom somewhere and pour out your heart
say Lord there's still stuff in there I know the the organized time for
the prayer meeting ended or the meeting is over but there's still stuff
in here Lord that's preventing me from seeing you pour out your heart
before him it's a wonderful phrase and I picture myself there pouring
out my heart say Lord I give it to you I pour out my heart before you
this is the man the woman the child that God can meet with let's go back
to Mark 10 cry unashamedly and don't stop that's what it means to pour
out have you ever stopped praying for something that means you don't
have that pouring out spirit I'm done praying like I got tired of
pouring out but the cups still there the problem still there God hasn't
met with you you haven't seen Jesus yet and if you've been in those
prayer meetings or been coming to this church for some period of time
and you know what the ritual is like oh it's the one thing I detest more
than anything else is ritualistic church meetings I don't want RLCF
meetings to ever be like that that's a heart of us elders family not
just the ritual okay we've got this we got to pray for a little bit the
meeting starts at 1030 we sing for a little bit I know what's coming
next fight that fight against that brother sister child fight against
that I know it's in our flesh I see it in my flesh yeah okay we've got
us you know this is coming next and then the Sunday school and then we
we have singing all this stuff okay then maybe there is some order to
what we do and the Holy Spirit leads us even in that we believe it but
in the midst of that if there's a longing within you that's greater than
what you sense here what's happening then get alone with God your
brother your sister and even if it waits if it must wait till the
evening that's fine you say well I'd still like to be part of the lunch
and play the games and all that but your longing within you even while
we're having lunch together says Lord I need to get home I haven't seen
you yet I need to get with you I want to close the door and tell my wife
honey can you can you let me be alone for five minutes or go for a walk
or something I'd say Lord I know the meetings over and there's no sermon
going on that there's no organized time of prayer but I need to see you
Lord why do you think Bartimaeus was crying out was it because there was
a crowd of people there oh it's a meeting time let's cry out loud
everybody else is crying out loud no he was blind that's all and if
Jesus was the only person and Bartimaeus was the only person Bartimaeus
would have cried out just aloud he wasn't crying to be heard when you
think about prayer think about the prayer that's saying Lord I'm not
praying I tell you it's hard to pray out loud publicly the more I pray
the more I realize that because we're praying out loud and we're aware
that other people are listening to our prayer but as I pray the more I
pray out loud the more I say Lord I want to pray to an audience of one I
know other people are listening to my prayer and I'm helping them lead I
want to lead them into prayer but Lord this prayer is for you there's a
need in my heart that only you can solve if you've seen Jesus is the
only one who can solve your problem the only one who's who really the
prayer matters that he hears the only one who it matters that he hears
your prayer doesn't matter if nobody else hears your prayer if you're
praying and Jesus heard it that that's what matters maybe other people
thought well what kind of prayer was that so son of David have mercy on
me he kept crying out all the more mark 10 verse 48 son of David have
mercy me mercy on me and Jesus stopped I like that phrase too I believe
the Holy Spirit of Jesus is moving through the rows right now even chair
by chair those of you watching online saying who is the one that I need
to stop at you know it says this the spirit the eyes of the Lord roam to
and fro across the face of the earth 2nd Chronicles 16 verse 9 to see
whose heart is fully his who's the one that's crying out most
desperately for him today right now the only voice you can hear is mine
and maybe some of the children but deep down within dear brothers and
sisters your children the one who's crying out most desperately most
desperately now I know maybe you're not bound by any sin maybe things
are pretty good in your life spiritually Jesus is precious to you but do
you still have a longing is there still a crying out within you Lord I
need you I mean I know you've shown me more of yourself than I've ever
seen before in this last year that's wonderful but there's so much more
to you and I want that Lord that's the one that Jesus says I'm gonna
stop here imagine if Jesus physically was to walk in this room and you
didn't even know that he was back there because your eyes are all this
way and he's just kind of spanning scanning the room I want to sit next
to somebody and all of a sudden you find that he comes and sits somebody
next to some next to somebody and you knew that he could pick any seat
and he picked that one next to that person would you be jealous would
you say Lord why did she come sit next to me I wanted you to sit next to
me wouldn't be and dear brothers and sisters it is the one who's most
desperately in need of the Holy Spirit of the Spirit of Jesus whom he
will stop at I think there were other people in need in that multitude
but Bartimaeus was crying out the loudest and Jesus said I'm gonna stop
here the one who doesn't care what people think about him he has no
reputation or opinion of what other people think of him doesn't matter
Jesus stopped and said call him here so they called the blind man saying
to him take courage stand up he is calling for you remember this phrase
to dear brother dear sister dear child if you are in that place of need
here's the word I want to give you through the Holy Spirit take courage
stand up Jesus is calling for you be bold come boldly to the throne of
grace he's calling for you I know you've been calling for him but guess
what he's calling for you you see the difference when you cry out with
such desperation you realize he's the one calling for you it's quite a
different thing when you pray with such desperation and you say Lord now
I know that you're going to answer my prayer not on the basis of how
loudly I prayed but because I heard you calling for me I'm coming to the
throne of grace not because of how how much of a need I have I'm coming
to the throne of grace because you called me from your throne of grace
take courage stand up he's calling you to the throne of grace where he
will supply all your need what a wonderful comfort that is when you're
coming to God because he's calling you and I tell you you won't hear
that unless you're crying out with everything within you take courage
stand up maybe you've been bowed down you're heavy you're discouraged
you don't want to you want to stand up take courage brother take courage
sister stand up Jesus is calling for you today throwing aside his cloak
that thing which he was weighed down by he didn't embarrassed by
throwing aside his cloak he jumped up and came to Jesus and answering
him Jesus said what do you want me to do for you and the blind man said
to him rabboni I want to regain my sight did you miss it regain this is
a man who could see once upon a time he gave his life to Jesus once upon
a time he received him believed in him but now Jesus had gone dark now
the things of this world started to become brighter and brighter and and
and Jesus was becoming dim says Lord I want to regain my sight restore
to me the joy of my salvation I want to return to that first love that I
had for you where it doesn't matter about how long I've been a Christian
I mean when you first came to Jesus when you were a wretched sinner and
you knew that you were wretched sinner you had not no reputation to
stand on you came running to the throne of grace say Lord I need help
but today are you a little bit better and so you don't have to cry as
desperately because you're not that that wretched of a sinner like you
were say ten years ago and that's why no wonder the Holy Spirit is not
to be able to meet with us because we're not as wretched as we once were
and I believe your brothers and sisters more and more that the way to
return to our first love the only way to return to our first love is to
recognize how wretched I still am even today how much in need of a
Savior I still am today how much in need of the Holy Spirit's power
within me I still am today and when I realized that I even more in need
of the Holy Spirit's power then Jesus says okay I can open your eyes I
want to regain my sight and Jesus said to him go your faith has made you
well immediately he regained his sight and began to follow him you see
the difference where Jesus is now talking to Bartimaeus he cried out so
desperately what made Bartimaeus stop yelling very simple question very
simple answer Jesus spoke to him and I tell you this dear brothers and
sisters what is it that will cause us to stop praying desperately when
we have seen Jesus when we've heard him you heard him okay then you can
stop but then you realize there's even more of him to know and say look
I know you met with me open my eyes but Lord I need more of you I need
to be more loving I need to be able to love every single enemy of mine I
need to be able to humble myself and be a servant and go even lower than
I've ever gone Lord I need you and then he'll say okay I want to read
you want to regain your sight here I'll open your eyes some more and
when you can cry out like Bartimaeus cried out to see and hear Jesus
personally if even a moment goes by in your day where you're not aware
of the Holy Spirit's personal presence in your life let me say that
again the Holy Spirit's personal presence in your life that means he's
there as a person personally interacting with you speaking to you
individually then cry out to him or that it won't just be an emotional
stirring or intellectual stimulation cry out to him and say Lord it's
been the day since I heard today I woke up and I didn't hear anything
from you Lord he's cry out to him unfortunately as Christians we can go
days weeks months just relying on the sermon that they're gonna preach
whatever the elder brother or the brothers are gonna share on Sunday
that's where I hear from him and I get some something see that's here I
tell you the more and more if you're only relying on the messages that
we preach on Sunday morning I want to tell you this is all you have I
believe it I want to tell you in truth you only have intellectual
knowledge if the only time you're hearing from God is when you listen to
the preaching of some sermon or something on Sunday morning it's
intellectual and you must cry out to God you must I beg you I plead with
you don't rely if I knew that was the case I would tell you I'm gonna be
a little bit bold in what I say if I knew that you were only hearing
from God on Sunday morning if I really knew that was a true I would ask
you to stay home it's better to stay home if that's the case dear
brother and sister not to turn on the TV or go for a walk no to cry out
to God that's more important now I'm not saying therefore we're gonna
have an empty building next Sunday and nobody's gonna be here Santa said
stay home no sit here with that mentality Lord I know the brothers are
gonna share something but I need to hear from you Lord that's why I'm
here I want to hear together with all the Saints and all of us think
what pleasure God would derive from this gathering here if we're not
just here to listen to some pep talk what's another good sermon or for
children to go to Sunday school where we're sitting here Lord with empty
cups that have been poured on say Lord fill us fill us with your power
we want to hear from you then it doesn't matter if there's only two of
us sitting in this room that's the meeting that God is pleased with then
a thousand people that say ah we're gonna hear another good pep talk
have another good time of food and singing and all that and let's be
done with that type of meeting I pray by God's grace that RLCF meetings
will never be like that was just a ritual another time of singing
another time of prayer sermon comes next okay children go to Sunday
school blah blah blah blah blah oh what a disgrace it is to what Jesus
died for us to give us what is the first thing you'll do when you see
Jesus what did what happened to Bartini's you know why when you say he
who if anyone wants to be my disciple he must hate his father mother
brother sister wife children even his own self all his friends and then
he must take up his cross and follow me do you know why that's so hard
because we haven't seen Jesus we're trying to take up our cross but we
haven't seen Jesus and it's heavy oh I've got to deny myself again I
gotta love my wife again in that situation I got to die to myself in
that situation again really take up my cross again Lord I thought I did
it yesterday I've been taking up my cross for the last 10 years again
when can I be done taking up my cross these are the prayers of those who
haven't seen Jesus once Bartini's eyes were open he didn't need anybody
to tell him follow Jesus he says I've seen Jesus he's opened my eyes
immediately he regained his sight and began following him on the road
and your friend your brother sister child if following Jesus is
burdensome you must cry out like Bartini says Lord I know it I've heard
the sermons and all that stuff but I haven't seen you and it's no wonder
in that situation when I'm in a conflict with my wife or with my husband
or with that other brother I'm still trying or that other sister I'm
still trying to preserve my dignity and my my rights and all this stuff
that's going on in Christendom sadly anybody who's trying to defend
their own rights I can tell you has not seen Jesus the one who has seen
Jesus says I have no rights except that I can be a child of God I wish
we can all have that sticker on our cars don't tread on my rights I'm a
child of God that's the only right I want to have don't let the devil
tread on that right I'm a child of God and I'm entitled to see Jesus I'm
entitled to walk with him and I mean imagine if if one of you had an
older brother that you never got to see and you're part of the same
family you know you're also but there's this brother that you're you're
aware your parents tell you you have an older brother but you never see
him you know what I think any one of us would go to that brother's
bedroom and knock and says hey you're my brother I deserve to know you
go to Jesus like that now he's not hiding himself from you don't get the
wrong idea he wants to be seen from you but if you haven't seen him you
knock on the door and say Lord Jesus I haven't seen you you're my older
brother I have a right to be called the children a child of God and I
want to be led by the Holy Spirit to be called us to be a son of God
Lord Jesus where are you I don't seem to have a relationship with you
and you and I are children of the same Heavenly Father oh I I think
Jesus would jump out of his seat at the right hand of the throne of God
say I was waiting for you to ask so that you and I could have that
relationship come to God that crazy Lord I haven't seen you I haven't
known you you've been a distant person a Savior who died for me 2,000
years ago but isn't alive today in my heart this is the Jesus that we
preach in this church and this is the Jesus you must know somebody who
walked the streets of Nazareth 2,000 years ago but is walking the
streets of my heart today today and today if you hear his voice saying I
want to walk down that pathway in your marriage relationship that
pathway in your work situation that pathway where you're looking for
some healing for your child or there's some some resentment you have
some bitterness or some uncertainty Jesus says today if you hear my
voice don't harden your heart I know maybe maybe you have you're not
sure how it will all work out but today if you hear his voice don't
harden your heart John chapter 10 verse 27 Jesus says in verse 26 that
you do not believe because you are not my sheep believe but the real
mark of faith you you call yourself a believer if you're born again yeah
you're a believer but what does it mean it says the mark of a believer
look at 26 and 27 the unbelievers are not his sheep the believers are
his sheep and what is the characteristic of those sheep my sheep hear my
voice and if you I know you probably know this verse children it's a
good verse for you to know Lord Jesus I just want to be your sheep and
you said that if I'm your sheep I would hear your voice you would know
me and I would follow you you see the order many of us are trying to
follow Jesus yes Lord I want to follow you I have decided to follow
Jesus I've decided to follow Jesus I'm gonna try by the by hook or by
crook by gritting my teeth I'm gonna follow you and then and then you
try and you fail and then Jesus says come to me first hear my voice let
me know you let me speak to you personally like he did to Bartimaeus
quite a different thing when Jesus voice was in the distance from when
Jesus came in front of Bartimaeus and says what do you want me to do for
you and I know that you would listen and quiet all the other voices even
my own voice right now and hear the voice of Jesus coming to you and
says what is that need that you need I know you've been pretending for
so long I know you've been maybe putting on a front but all that you
would fall on your face and ask me and say Lord I want to regain my
sight and as I know them they follow me true following Jesus comes as a
result of Jesus knowing me when I say Lord Jesus I I hear your voice I
came to you and now it's like you're talking to me you called me by name
if I don't know if it's recorded that way but I I don't know if Jesus
even knew his name but if he did he would say Bartimaeus Bartimaeus not
this general Jesus speaking to the multitude but Jesus speaking to
Bartimaeus said Bartimaeus I'm calling you by name what do you want me
to do for you and this is the message that he's coming to each one of us
children Oh Adelus brother sister no matter how long you've been a
Christian or even if you're not a believer yet he's calling you by name
saying put your name there what do you want me to do for you what is it
that you need ask me today I know you've asked in a ritualistic sort of
a Lord fill me with your Holy Spirit Lord I need your Holy Spirit I they
say in this church that I need it but I guess I'm asking that way no
Lord I I'm tired of the pretense I'm coming to you and crying out to you
with everything within me saying Lord fill me with your Holy Spirit I
want to hear your voice I want to see you I don't want to fall on you on
the road ahead amen

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Video: https://sermonindex2.b-cdn.net/i0Z5Q_6tZpU.mp4
Source: https://sermonindex.net/speakers/santosh-poonen/crying-out-to-hear-and-see-jesus-personally/
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