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  CONFESSIONS - BOOK V - CHAPTER IX
  by St. Augustine
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16. And lo, I was received in Rome by the scourge of bodily sickness;
and I was very near to falling into hell, burdened with all the many and
grievous sins I had committed against thee, myself, and others--all over
and above that fetter of original sin whereby we all die in Adam. For
thou hadst forgiven me none of these things in Christ, neither had he
abolished by his cross the enmity[137] that I had incurred from thee
through my sins. For how could he do so by the crucifixion of a phantom,
which was all I supposed him to be? The death of my soul was as real
then as the death of his flesh appeared to me unreal. And the life of my
soul was as false, because it was as unreal as the death of his flesh
was real, though I believed it not.

My fever increased, and I was on the verge of passing away and
perishing; for, if I had passed away then, where should I have gone but
into the fiery torment which my misdeeds deserved, measured by the truth
of thy rule? My mother knew nothing of this; yet, far away, she went on
praying for me. And thou, present everywhere, didst hear her where she
was and had pity on me where I was, so that I regained my bodily health,
although I was still disordered in my sacrilegious heart. For that peril
of death did not make me wish to be baptized. I was even better when, as
a lad, I entreated baptism of my mother\\

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Source: https://sermonindex.net/speakers/st-augustine/confessions-book-v-chapter-ix/
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