Knowledge Gained By Trial And Experience

Knowledge Gained By Trial And Experience KNOWLEDGE GAINED BY TRIAL AND
EXPERIENCE
J. S. DURST

Young gentlemen and ladies of Abilene Christian College:—My talk to you will be somewhat different to the usual style of lectures which you have been called upon to hear. I am an old man bending under the touch of time, and my life work will illustrate my subject without any effort or intention of placing it before you as a model to pattern after; for in the midst of life's battle my many deficiencies in information and knowledge have been apparent. I simply wish to give you, for your encouragement, some of the many trials and experiences through which I have passed and how I met them. My father died when 1 was ten years of age, and my good mother had the sole control and watchcare over a large dependent household. We were being raised under the religious influences of Catholicism, and many of the tenets of his religious system had been impressed upon my mind. At the time of my father's death, which occurred at Galveston, an incident occurred that subsequently caused the family to more fully investigate the religious system that we had embraced. When he was told by his physician that death was approaching, he sent for the Priest to get the benefits of the last rite from priestly hands, that of "Extreme Unction." When he came and was notified of his wish, he was told that this rite could not be granted only on one condition, and that condition was that he renounce all connection with the Order of Freemasonry, and reveal to him its secrets, bather turned his eyes to my brother who was at his bedside and said, "Put this man out of this room," and it is needless to say that his ejection from his presence hastily followed, The foregoing was the incident that subsequently caused a careful investigation of the tenets of Catholicism, resulting in a rejection of it by the entire family, and that came very near making confirmed skeptics, The result of this sad trial and experience brought to us the knowledge of a corrupt system of religion, that could never again fasten its poisonous fangs upon us. Yet we were still religiously inclined enough to have a desire to become better acquainted with the book called the Bible. Old fashion Camp Meetings were common in those days, and the novelty of them drew large crowds together. One of Mich meetings was announced to he held about twelve miles from our home at a beautiful lake surrounded by a densely shaded growth of trees. Mother and sister decided to go to it. They took me with them. When we reached the place, we found a large assembly had assembled under the shade of the trees seated on logs that had been gotten together for that purpose. As all seats had been tilled, we spread our blankets down on the grass, and established ourselves on them to hear and see the entire procedure. There was a plank tacked to two posts, set in the ground, at the far end of the shade, and three men seated behind it. A large Bible was on this stand. This was a primitive pulpit for the preachers. Just about this time one of the three started the old song, "Now than a foundation." which was taken up by hundreds of voices, and the joyous sound Idled space with its delightful melody. When the songs closed a tall tine looking young man arose to begin the preaching service. I was attracted by his manly appearance. The very tire of genius and love sparkled from his large, bright blue eyes. As young as I was I really envied him, his position, and it instilled within me a hope that I too could some day be helpful to others. The entire audience stood while he sent his voice and petitions heavenward in prayer, and the Amen's resounded on every hand. I thought surely the Lord is in the midst of this people. His text when read made a lasting impression on my mind, and all through the years that have passed has been my favorite theme, and the rule that has guided me out of many theological difficulties. 2 Timothy 3:16. Notwithstanding I was but a youth, I sought an acquaintance with him and found his name to be Benton Sweeney. The other two were Uncle Joe Clark, and J. M. Sweeny.

Let me recite to you the happenings of another bit of my experience. Later on, Mother had purchased two mules from a stockman whose frontier ranch was on the Gabriel river some few miles North of where the town of Taylor is located. A short time after this they ran away and were making for their old range some 80 miles West. Mother sent me and a hired man to try to overtake them. We could hear of them all along the route. When we had crossed the Brazos we heard of a big Camp Meeting to begin that night on the Gabriel just ahead of us. We decided this would be a good place to hear from the mules, as people from all surroundings would be there. When we reached the camp ground just before dark, we found the place filled with campers for the meeting. The singing soon began but the preachers had not arrived, and many manifested an anxiety for their coming. Pretty soon, two men were seen to ride up to the outskirts of the camp ground, hitched their horses, and lifted their old time saddle bags from their saddles, and with locked arms came toward the Arbor singing the old soul stirring song. "Children of the heavenly King as you journey sweetly sing." Here are our preachers! shouted many voices. The greetings of joy were so impressive on my mind, that the scene is as vivid now as it was sixtyeight years ago. Surely there must be something divine back of all this interest, thought I. Those noble men of God were old Bros. Foster and Thomas who soon after this went home to God to reap the reward promised for lives of devotion to his cause. Bro. Foster's theme for the opening of the meeting was—"In Union there is strength." He stressed the thought that this is our meeting and that each one must be a factor in the work, that God the Father, Christ the Son and all true Christians are together in the effort to save souls. This position caused me to wonder, that if this be true, then why so many different religious organizations in the world, differing in so many ways, and not co-operating in the work? But we heard from the mules, and the next day we found them and were on our way back home. As we traveled homeward, my mind dwelt on the subject matter of that discourse, and the thought came to me that in the event it be true that there is a oneness in Christianity, then many people are in error, and the question follows: "Who is right? I was therefore left in this confused state. After reaching home, I learned that my good mother was arranging to send my brother and myself to school at Baylor University—then located at Independence, Washington County Texas, and to which school we were sent the coming Fall, where we remained for four years, when in 1861 we entered the war between the states. At Independence we were in an atmosphere of Baptists, and boarded with the President R. C. Burleson, a grand man and an excellent educator. We attended the Baptist Sunday school, and listened to Baptist preachers every Sunday, and became well indoctrinated in much of Baptist theology. During those years, the Baptist State Conventions were held each year at Independence and it was from this place as a centre that Baptist teaching was made a specialty. It was therefore my privilege to listen to the leading Baptist talent from all parts of the country. I would take notes and ponder over them at my room. My desire was to see my way clearly as I went along, and to some extent I cast my individuality into the matter.

Those conventions were followed with a protracted meeting. By virtue of my teaching, I had imbibed the doctrine that in order to be a christian, one must first get religion. So at one of those meetings, my class and room-mate and myself, made an agreement, that we would go to the mourner's bench and try to get religion. So we went into it with earnestness and zeal. The second night, my room-mate got it. He at once became a zealous worker in the progress of the meeting. It continued till the last night and I was yet unsaved. While sitting on the mourner's bench, President Burleson came and sat down by my side and said—"John my boy, what's thedifficulty with you? Can I assist you in any way?" "Yes" I replied, "I am perplexed beyond expression. Do you see my room-mate up there?" "Yes, but what about him?" "He seems so happy and religious. Now I wish you to tell me why the good Lord has applied his forgiving blessings unto him, and has passed me by?" Ah! he replied. "I now see your condition made manifest. Yon are looking at others instead of yourself. You must lose sight of every one except yourself, and regard yourself as the very worst of sinners, and in this frame of mind plead for pardon." This reply completely upset me. I will remember my reply. "Has it come to pass that I must believe a falsehood to be saved? I know that I am an erring mortal, and need the good Lord's forgiveness, and for which I have earnestly prayed but to believe that I am one of the very worst of sinners, is something I cannot believe for the reason that I have never stolen anything, never have I committed murder. I try to be truthful, have never defrauded anyone, and how can I believe that I am one of the worst sinners on earth?" ''That no doubt is all true" said he, but this is the frame of mind that secures the pardoning power of God." My reply was—"You have failed to meet my difficulty and if you are correct, my destiny is sealed for woe." This settled my case, and was thus driven into the field of skepticism. Believing this to be the position of the then prevailing popular Denominations, I became a disbeliever in the divinity of the Bible, and thenceforth took a delight in exposing what I conceived to be, the unreasonable and conflicting religious theories. But my unreasonable course was that I failed to examine closely for myself the source from which each claimed the authority for their teaching. The civil war between the states came on, and I went home to enter the contest for the South. While at school I had won the affection of a worthy girl, and before leaving for the war, we were united in marriage. My skepticism grew with time and at every religious service available I was on hand with pencil and note book, to note the contradictions of the preachers. I had indoctrinated my good wife with my skeptical positions, and we thus became partners in the field of skepticism. We were later on blessed with the birth of a fine baby boy. The war had closed and we settled down on a farm for a living. About this time we heard that a religious meeting was announced to commence in a few days at Leona, in Leon Co., Texas, four miles from our home. We heard it was to be a Campbellite Meeting. It came to my memory that was the kind of preachers I heard at the big Camp Meeting first mentioned in "this lecture, and those first favorable impressions made on me. I suggested to wife that we must go to it. The time came and I saddled our riding horses, and wife, baby boy and myself were ready to go.

Both men and women were good horse back riders in those days. The women didn't ride astride then, and many of them were expert riders. Wife placed her foot in my hand, and with a spring and my assistance she leaped into the side-saddle. Now take the baby, wife, 'till I mount my horse. When on my horse, I placed a pillow on the horn of the saddle for a soft seat and planted the babe down comfortably in front of me, and we were off for the meeting four miles distant. When we arrived, service was ready to begin and we walked in and took seats near the front. Up to this time after having become skeptical, my sole purpose in attending preaching was to note points I could use to good effect against the divinity of the Holy Scriptures. Therefore I had pencil and paper on hand for that purpose. When the preacher arose to commence his talk, I at once recognized him to be the same interesting speaker I heard at the Camp Meeting when I was a boy. He took for a text. (Hebrews 1:1) His theme was "God hath spoken to man." Now then I said to myself, that is just what I am anxious to hear. If this be true, when, where, what, why and how did he speak to man? I noted his introduction on my paper. He began with a demeanor of confidence in being able to give a scriptural answer to all these questions. I sat there ready to note the things I could use against him. Failing in this, I noted only such references to books and verses for my private examination. I at once saw that I was being severely tried, my honesty was now being tested to its limit. I looked at wife, and she looked at me. The service ended, and the assembly separated in the darkness of the night for their homes. We mounted our horses as before and were on our way homeward. Heretofore both of us had been very communicative after listening to preachers, but we had ridden half way home and not a word had passed. Wife broke the silence. "My dear, what's the matter with you to-night? Why are you so still, and not talking as you usually do?" "I was just about to ask you the same question. But I must answer you. That man knocked all my props from under me to-night, and I am wondering where I now stand, or rather have I a footing left." "That's my fix exactly." she replied. This, was the beginning of the opening of our spiritual eyes. We were simply ignorant of the scriptures and needed one to direct us aright. We continued to attend and became more and more enlightened, and as a consequence obeyed from the heart the form of doctrine delivered unto us, and being made free from sins we became servants of righteousness. Our Bro. Sweeney visited us till we became self-supporting. But a sad day and trial came to us later. Our beloved preacher took sick and died. Pungent sorrow filled our hearts. It began to be freely circulated that the little bunch of Campbellites had lost their leader and would now soon play out. A trial faced me that tested my faith again. I then and there resolved that by the help of God we would stem the tide of trial and opposition. This resolution ushered in the beginning of my ministerial public work. As time passed we grew in number and spiritual knowledge and strength, and by the dear lessons of trial and experience, were taught to "despise not the day of small things". In the midst of all of these things, the wife of my young manhood was taken from me by death, and I left alone with two little children. This trial, though severe, drew me still closer to the blessed Savior. Had it not been for my Sainted Mother who promptly came to my rescue and took charge of my little ones, life would have been to me almost mid-night darkness. Leaving my children periodically under the care of their precious old grandmother, to fill my appointments, I continued my work: but this placed too great a burden upon her, and I decided to try to find some good woman to take the place of the broken link.

I became fortunate in my selection, and we have fought life's battle for 47 years. During all these years she has patiently endured the hardships of a preacher's wife. If there he degrees of happiness in heaven, a preacher's faithful wife will surely occupy the topmost seat. Among the many things I have learned by trial and experience is that the faithful preacher will he provided for. I have always been a poor man in this world's goods—never having had as much as $800 at any one time, yet I have never seen the time that 1 could not meet my financial obligations.

It is true that I have at times had to engage in some worldly calling to meet the deficit in the preacher's support, but I take it that this is sometimes a necessity for the proper training of one's children. Wife and I long ago, resolved to try to live within our financial ability to meet our obligations. I hope and pray that my good brethren may never have to regret when I am gone, that old Bro. Durst injured his influence by failing to meet his financial obligations. When I get helpless (as soon I may) my boys and girls, although poor themselves, will see to my wants without calling on the brotherhood. It's a burning shame, that this has so often been done. The experiences of the past have brought to us a knowledge of this fact that stand out in box car letters. Pardon me in the relation of a personal experience. When I came to West Texas 41 years ago, the financial outlook for the preacher was dark indeed, but the field was ripe unto the harvest, and wife and I with our dependent children faced the discouraging future with many misgivings. There were no churches or Missionary Society behind us to supply our wants. Where will it come from? The divine command to "Go preach the Gospel" was the motive for action, and my faith in the Christ was strong enough to believe a way would open up for our necessities. The message was carried all over many of these Western counties, and up to this good hour, old Brother Durst has never materially suffered. The counties of Kimble, Kerr, Gillespie, Edwards, Kinney, Sutton, Crockett, Schleicher, Tom Green. Sterling, Concho Menard, McCulloch, San Saba, Brown, Llano, Burnet, Mason, et. al. heard the message of Salvation, and it is bearing fruit to this good hour. I was almost alone in this continued fight. There were no public conveyances accessible for traveling purposes.

When away from home I lived in my little gospel wagon, drawn by my faithful ponies, and spent the nights by the roadside, and cooked my meals by the campfire. The country was not tied up with barbed wire then. When I struck camp for the night, I would hobble and bell one of my ponies that I might find them in the morning. I, in this way became so familiar with the sound of the bell that I could distinguish it from all others. And so it is that by study, trial and experience I have familiarized myself with the sound of the good old gospel bell, and amidst the discordant sounds that are now heard I can at once distinguish the divine ring. And thus it has been, that from the beginning of my years of responsibility, dating from the incident in connection with father's death, have circumstances presented themselves that were shaping my future course in life. The interest and the preaching at the Camp Meeting I first attended, planted a pointer in the right direction that I never forgot. I felt relieved, when by trial we were driven from Catholicism into a world of doubt, which plated my mind in a condition for other impressions. The next incident at the Camp Meeting on the Gabriel river, when we were pursuing the lost mules, planted on my mind another bit of favorable experience that has never been effected, and placed me in a position of being tried. And then, when mother sent me to Baylor, weighty influences surrounded me that were calculated to fix the future of my life: and had it not been for the individuality exercised on my part, and previously related, it might have been, that the Baptist net would have caught me in its meshes. And when I was driven into skepticism by the repulsive things of unscriptural teaching, I became a fit subject for the impressions of the truth presented in a consistent and reasonable way. When this was done forcefully and effectively, at the old Leon Meeting, by that grand and noble man of God—Benton Sweeney, who has long since gone home to his reward, I at once yielded my skepticism to the power of divine truth, and became a member of the household of faith. But trials and experience still confronted me. They are a part of the christian's heritage.

While life lasts, we are on trial. The trials of life have produced the brightest diamonds in the store house of knowledge. But I should close. Young men and young ladies of A. C. C, I have noticed this subject from a standpoint of our relation to the God above, for your benefit and trust that some good impression will result therefrom. You are not to enter a service of ease, but one that puts you on trial. All along the line your fidelity to God will be severely tested. May you never prove recreant to your trust. We need men and women, whose faith in Jehovah will be the guiding star of their lines. Men and women, whose knowledge obtained as students of the word, will not be influenced by the undermining and poisonous utterances of modern scientists and advanced doctors of divinity who are trying to neutralize the glorious message of divine truth. I rejoice at the efforts being made here at Abilene Christian College to plant you firmly on the divine platform. Let me beseech you to make good use of your opportunities, for the world stands in great need of your days of usefulness. Put your lives into the work of service till the time comes to enter the haven of eternal rest. And as a farewell reminder let me say that— Your lives will be Albums written through
With good or ill, with false or true;
And as the blessed angel turns the pages of your years,
God grant they write the good with smiles, and blot the
ill with tears.