B 03 - A Comparative Analysis Wives Other
A COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS WITH THE WIVES OF OTHER BUSINESS AND PROFESSIONAL MEN An interesting contemporary social phenomenon is noted when one glances through the various indexes to periodical A CONTEMPORARY AT 35 literature. Beginning shortly after close of World War II, articles denoting the importrance of the wife in her husband’s work began to appear. Prior to the war, rare recognition was made of her importance in her husband’s success or failure. The intervening years have a multitude of on the superintendent’s wife, the schoolteacher’s wife, the city manager’s wife, the wives of governmental officials, and the wives of corporation executives. One of the most interesting studies relevant to any of these wives was conducted by William Whyte, Jr, in 1951 on the corporation executive’s wife. 8 (Of the professions of medicine, law, and theology, more has been written about the minister’s wife than about the other two combined. Four books on the doctor’s wife were located, and none on the lawyer’s ’wife.), Whyte’s study indicated that some corporations now consider their executives* wives almost as important as the executives themselves. One company estimated that approximately 20percentof its otherwise acceptable trainee applicants for executive posts were turned down because of their wives. 9 Wives are now regularly interviewed by many companies along with their husbands. Since the validity of one interview is sometimes questioned, one insurance company looks into the wife’s credit rating and her popularity in the community as a double check. 10 Naturally, this concern with the wife is a financial one so far as the companies are concerned. As one executive put it, We control a man’s environment in business, and we lose it entirely when he crosses the threshold of his home. Management, therefore, has a challenge and an obligation to deliberately plan and create a favorable, constructive attitude on the part of the wife that will liberate her husband’s total energies for the job. 11 36 OF MINISTER’S
Steps are being taken to close this loophole in control over their executives. Many companies are now extending their influence into the homes by various types of “wife programs.” The Revlon Products Corporation, among others, has instituted a of Wives’ Clinics to aid the wife in understanding and helping her husband in his work. 12 The interesting, and sometimes disturbing, aspect about this domination on the part of the corporations is that the wives apparently enjoy and prefer this type of living. The pressures to conform are strong, and this new generation frankly admits to conforming. They are other-directed, to use Riesman’s concept, for they are verbalizing a philosophy that tells them it is right to be that way. 13 They support their view by pointing to the growing emphasis on group dynamics, human relations, and industrial psychology. The nonconformist is ostracized and/or not promoted. “Conformity, 3 * one review states, “ is being elevated into something akin to religion.” 14 Whyte’s later study, The Organization Man y indicates ti^at the attitude of the company toward its employees is benevolent and communicates to its “ family “ that it is concerned with their good, but like many parents, it decides what is good for them. 15 A disturbing factor to many social scientists is that the “ organization man “ is content with this situation. The ideal corporation wife is (1) highly adaptable, (2) highly gregarious, and (3) realizes that her husband belongs to the corporation. As will be seen, these qualities typify the ideal wife in other fields as well. Helen Mosher describes the ideal school administrator’s wife by asking ten questions, 1. Can you be nice to everyone, but not too nice? (“If you ask me, she’s too good to be true.”),
2. Are you a passable housekeeper, but not better than your neighbors? (“All she does is stay in that house and scrub.”)
3. Do you take an active part in community affairs -- as a working committee member, not a leader? (“But I’ve always been chairman of the Harvest Supper. Why should she take over?”),
4. Are your clothes suitable and attractive, but not so glamorous that other women are jealous? (“I could look way too, if you his salary”).
5. Can you entertain graciously and gracefully, without splurging? (“She was trying to us impress us, and I know she bought that cake”),
6. Are you “seen” at the school athletic and social events, but not conspicuously? (“How come she sits in the front row? “),
7. Do you have a keen sense of humor? You’ll need it, but don’t top the board president’s jokes. (“She’s all right, I guess, if you like them brainy!”)
8. Can you answer the telephone for the nineteenth time with a lilt in your voice, while the meat sticks and your nine-year-old’s gang plays catch in the living room?”) (“What’s the matter with her? After all, I’m a taxpayer”)
9. Do you keep all achievements of the past locked in silence, like skeletons in a closet? (“What if she did play the lead in the college play? That was years ago. And my Elizabeth is made for that part in the Fireman’s Frolic.”)
10. Can you play your part with all the charm you can muster, but not take yourself seriously? (“Who does she think she is, anyway? “) 16 .38 ROLE OF MIXISTEB’S -WIFE
Simply by replacing a few words, such as “school board “ with “ corporation board “ or “ board of deacons/ 3 this description, of the ideal wife is equally applicable to the wives of other public figures. This to indicate a converging of the expectations of the Idea! wife regard of her husband’s position. Possibly this in some sense denotes an Increasing homogeneity in business, educational, and church circles. That is, this may reflect a leveling of the psychological, sociological, and moral bases from which these fields operate. A closer comparative analysis of the wives of business and professional men with the minister’s wife indicates that their role expectations and role satisfactions are similar at several points. No leadership roles. They are not expected to take leadership roles that Involve holding office. While this prohibition does not seem to be placed as much on executives’ wives. It appears to be widely accepted in other circles. As noted in the above expectations of the school executive’s wife, she Is not to hold any office. This was also expressed in a survey conducted by V. K. Ort relevant to the ideal superintendent’s wife. 17 An almost unanimous expression on the part of ministers’ wives portrayed In the literature Is that they should not hold an office. The rationale supporting this position is that this does not stimulate and develop lay leadership; hence, many organizations fold up when the minister’s wife leaves.
Important to husband’s success or failure. Wives are recognized as important factors in their husbands* success or failure. As already indicated, corporations have discovered that an executive with a happy home life is a more congenial, productive worker. His wife needs to be an interesting conversationalist, and she must know various A CONTEMPORARY AT 39
Corporation personnel by name, as well as something of their families. The wife of the school administration is classified as a public relations officer who can help or handicap her husband’s program or career. That the right kind of wife is one of the minister’s greater assets is clearly pointed out in books on the minister’s wife. While a chapter is frequently devoted to the minister and his wife, the assumption the wife assists her husband underlies practically all the literature.
Well-disciplined children expected. Well-disciplined children are expected and recognized as assets to their fathers 7 work. As one school administrator phrased it, “People are hesitant and suspicious about entrusting their children to those who have made a mess of bringing up their own families.” 18
Relaxed for home. Wives are expected to provide a relaxed atmosphere in the home to which the weary husband can retreat for respite. This expectation is clearly presented for the wives of businessmen, educators, and ministers.
Loneliness. The wives are frequently lonely persons. The loneliness that they experience is frequently attributed to the fact that they feel unable to establish close friendships with the persons with whom they work, either because this creates Jealousies or engenders other leadership problems. Therefore, loneliness was found to be a common denominator among the wives.
Seminomadic life. These wives frequently have a type of semmomadic life. Corporations today are interested in the executive’s wife who is willing to uproot herself and move where her husband is needed. One “ adjusted “ corporation wife expressed her feelings this way, “ Any time the curtains get dirty, Tm ready to move.” 19 While the min 40 THE. BOLE OF MINISTEB?’S WIFE ister’s wife may or not such willingness, she does more every few years, and seems for the most part to have to accept this as “ all in the day’s work.”
Dress attractively but conservatively. Such wives are expected to dress attractively but conservatively. It also to be generally accepted that they dress in accordance with community custom. That is, the wife does not dress better than most of those in the community or organization. The wife who is conspicuous by reason of overdressing or underdressing is frowned upon.
Interpersonal relations. Wives are expected to keep the machinery of interpersonal relations moving smoothly by the lubricating effects of their congeniality. The educator’s wife is urged to avoid the ** controversial attitude/ 7 20 and the -minister’s wife is advised to “ always be an agreeable person.** 21 While this may keep the machinery running smoothly, one wonders what the impact of this perpetual congeniality is upon the wives* mental hygiene.
Ready-made friends. One of the compensations of their roles is that it provides them with a ready-made, prefabricated group of friends. The educator and minister alike move into a community with friends awaiting them purely on the basis of the roles they occupy. This appeared to be one of the more satisfying aspects of their roles. Probably the executive’s wife is less likely to have this waiting community of friends.
Intellectual cautions. The wives have to exercise caution lest they appear too intellectual or otherwise outstrip those with whom they associate. Whyte observed that one corporation wife regularly arranges her magazines according to the class and caliber of the guests. Thus, Harper’s Magmme and Atlantic travel from beneath the magazine stack to the top when a more sophisticated and intellectual guest A CONTEMPORARY LOOK AT MINISTERS WIFE 41 is expected, 22 Ministers’ wives frequently express the feeling their education might be a threat to some parishioners who lack a college education. The literature instructs to exercise care in being inconspicuously educated.
Fish-bowl existence. It appears to be generally conceded that the wives of public figures are, as the wives of city managers expressed it, ** on display.” 23 This is recognized in all of the literature on the minister’s wife, and is dealt with in one way or another, sometimes by devoting a chapter to counseling the lady of the manse on this point, or eke, underlying much that is said, there is a tacit reminder that she is on display.
Gracious hostess. These wives are expected to be gracious hostesses. The wife of a businessman or an educator frequently entertains various dignitaries, and emphasis is placed upon her ability to fulfill, this aspect of her role and otherwise put guests at ease. The minister’s wife, too, is the gracious hostess, and is generally admonished to ** set the example in gracious living.” 24 In all that these wives do they are expected to be ’gracious. The one quality included in a large percentage of the description of the ideal ’Corporation wife was that she is gracious. The foregoing points of similarity in the roles of the wives of business and professional men with that of ministers* wives are striking. The major point at which the roles of these wives are divergent is that of participation in their husbands* work. While the wife of the businessman or educator may have only a superficial knowledge and interest in her husband’s work, the minister’s wife is vitally involved both in the church and at home. Even the usual position of the minister’s home next to the church makes it more difficult for her to dissociate herself from her hus 42 ’THE BOLE OF THE MINISTER’S WIFE band’s work. Furthermore, the literature indicates that she is by church and community to be intimately involved in the activities of the church. On the other hand, the businessman’s wife may know little or nothing about production quotas, inventories, and other aspects of the business world, nor is she expected to.
It is precisely at the point of the expectations by her husband, church, community, and herself with reference to participating in her husband’s work that the similarity between the minister’s wife and the role of other wives breaks down. This is an important consideration when endeavoring to understand the uniqueness of her role.