10 - Chapter 10
CHAPTER X RELIGION IN THE HOME The suggestion of the pastor that the church interest itself in strengthening home life appealed to the members. The Home Department of the Sunday school was revived, and its usefulness greatly enlarged. It sought to include for definite Bible study the members of the church and congregation who by reason of work, age, distance, or sickness were unable to attend the regular sessions of the school. A mother’s club was organized for the mothers of the Cradle Roll babies. This organization met regularly and studied the Christian way of homemaking and of child culture. A parent-teachers’ organization was effected so that there could be a closer cooperation between the home and the Sunday school, and between the parents and the teachers. All these organizations together with the officers of the church arranged for “A Christian Home Sunday,” a day in which the pastor should present a special message to the people; a day in which emphasis should be put upon the entire home united in Christ and in his church; a day in which the family altar should be erected in every Christian home in the church. The special address which the pastor gave and which the church voted to have printed and given wide publicity is as follows:
“The greatest agency for the spread of Christianity is the Christian home. There is nothing which a person can do for Christ which will count for more than the maintenance of a truly Christian home. There is no career for a woman so important as that of Christian motherhood. No matter how much outside work in church or community a man may do, if he has neglected to bring up his own children in the fear and admonition of the Lord he has lost out in the biggest thing on earth.
What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own boys?
“ Before God ever brought the first baby into the world he formed the home. Children do not thrive well in institutions. Children grow best in homes with the love of parents and the companionship of brothers and sisters. When Jesus came to be the World’s Saviour he was born into a home, with the love of Mary and the care of Joseph. He was a baby in a mother’s arms and grew up in a large family of children. The first public miracle of Jesus was in a marriage in Cana of Galilee. I used to wonder why he began his life’s work under such circumstances. I know now. There is no place where Jesus could be more useful or have a greater influence than in the making of a new home. What a wonderful world we would have if Jesus could be recognized as a guest and a helper in the making of every new home! The Influence of a Christian Home
“ From the Christian home radiate helpful influences into every avenue of life. As when a child throws a stone into a pond, the circle of waves spreads until they reach the farthest shore, so from the home as a center there spread waves of influence which touch all life. If this home is Christian, then the influences which radiate outward are Christian. We are thinking 1 of a Christian home, one in which both husband and wife are united around the family altar. It is most unfortunate when a father or mother in the home is not a Christian. It is a tragedy when neither are believers. In this Christian home we have the husband and wife bound by theties of marriage, united by love, in the most intimate and beautiful relation on earth. Because Christ dominates the life we find the husband loving the wife as his own self and the wife reverencing her husband. As each works for the other and both for God there can be no unfaithfulness of either, nor bitterness nor strife. Where Christ truly abides in a home there is happiness, love, and peace.
“ Into such a home children come because they are wanted and are loved, and cared for as sacred trusts from God. The parents bring up the children in the reverence and love of God. Children learn to obey and honor their fathers and mothers. Here, therefore, we find the adult learning to adjust his own life to the growing life of the children. We have children learning to live with their parents and with one another in the Christian way. There is a Christian way of living. In the home this way is sought and followed.
“ Outside of the family circle is the larger circle of relations grandparents, uncles and aunts, nephews and nieces, and all the cousins. How many old people’s lives have been saddened because their children and grandchildren did not follow the Christian way of dealing with age. How many little children have lived cramped and embittered lives because aged people have lost touch and sympathy with youth! How many unhappy family quarrels have come from dispute over a piece of property! Blood is thicker than water. Theties of kinship and affection are strong. In a Christian home the rights of others are considered and relatives are bound together in the Lord byties stronger than those of blood.
“ Then there are the neighbors. We do not live in a Robinson Crusoe world. Even he lived a different life after Friday and the cannibals came. We live surrounded by other people. No man liveth unto himself. Christian homes improve the neighborhood. One does not need to wear a label saying, ’ I am a Christian.’
If a man is a Christian his neighbors will know. Even the neighbor’s dog will know what kind of a Christian he is. In the morning the father rises early and goes to his day’s work. As he leaves his house he walks with other men, rides on the cars with them and talks of the news of the day. He goes to his work in shop or store, or office or field. He works by the side of others. He gives of his skill and toil in some field of service. As he walks and talks and works he carries the influence of the home he has left, and the whole industrial world is shot through with the influence of that Christian home.
“ After father has gone to his work the children take their books and start for school. Every child, as he plays with other children or as he studies in the schoolroom, advertises his home. It is a common saying among teachers, ’ We know the kind of home life that a boy has, by the way he acts in school.’ As the children thus go to school they go as representatives of their homes. Thus the educational world is affected by this Christian home.
“ After the children have gone to school the mother takes her market-basket, or uses the telephone to buy the daily food and supplies for her household from the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick-maker. As she goes into the markets to buy she represents her home.
Every tradesman knows the kind of a home she comes from. She does not wear a tag saying, ’ I belong to a church.’ Her business transactions speak louder than words. Thus the business world knows the power and worth of the Christian home; for business is built upon these principles of cooperation, faith, honesty, and work which are cardinal principles of the Christian religion.
“ In the afternoon the mother has a few hours to herself. She goes to the Ladies’ Aid, to the Woman’s Club, to an entertainment, to the home of a friend, or friends come to her home. In this way she enters the social world.
Here she is governed by the ideas and principles of her home. Her attitude of mind toward other people and her conduct among other people is Christian. In this way the social world is influenced through this Christian home.
“ Evening comes and the family is together. Much is made of the home life, the story hour, the family ride in the auto, or something which all can do as a family.
Saturday afternoons and holidays give leisure hours to the head of the house. Recreation is necessary. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no recreation wears down physical resistance and makes invalids and uninteresting people. The way in which people use their leisure hours, the kind of pleasures they enjoy, determine largely their character. Because it is a Christian home, those pleasures are enjoyed which keep the family together and which bring lasting joy. In this way the pleasure life of the community is affected by this Christian home.
“ Nor is this all. Election day comes. Candidates are to be chosen at the primaries. Officers are to be elected.
Issues are to be decided that affect the health, safety, and happiness of the home and the community. Because they are Christians, the husband and wife go to the polls and register their convictions and their choice. Their vote represents careful study of men and issues. Thus the politicians realise the- power of a Christian home.
“ Sunday comes. It is the day of rest and worship, a day of joy; for the whole family is together for the day.
Father says, ’Come, children, it is time for us to start for church.’ He does not say, ’You go to Sunday school/ while he stays at home reading, lounging, and grumbling. After the Sunday school is over all sit together and worship God, join in the singing of great hymns, bow before God in prayer, listen to eternal, spiritual truths, meet and greet friends and neighbors, and then go home refreshed in soul. The church and all the religious life feels the strength and powers of this Christian home.
“ Pay-day comes. Because the man is in partnership with God, part of the money belongs to his partner. He rejoices in the privilege of giving this money where it will do good. In this way his money goes where he cannot go and works as he himself could not work. It helps to support his local church, it helps to Christianize his own city and State and community. It helps to carry the gospel to the far-away heathen lands. He is making eternal friends through the use of his money. Thus through the use of his money he is helping to make other Christian homes all over the world.
“ There is one thing more. This Christian home believes in prayer and practises communion with God. From time to time the whole family bows together before God, and the father asks the heavenly Father to provide, protect, and forgive his dear ones. He prays for the ministers and missionaries who are preaching the good news of salvation through Christ to all peoples. He prays for his own church and his own pastors. Thus through prayer he is definitely helping his own life, the lives of his children, the workers in home and foreign lands, his own church and pastors all the interests that are dear to God. By way of the throne of God he is effective in the spread of Christianity all through the world.
“Children who have the privilege of such a home never get away from its sacred influences. When they leave the old home to make a new home for themselves they carry the Christian spirit with them and form a new home which is Christian. Thus this Christian home not only is the center of world life influences touching every phase of life, but is the means of promoting and spreading similar homes wherever the children go to make their own homes.
“ We need more Christian homes. We need that all of our homes should be more truly Christian. ’ The problem of the child in the church is first and foremost the problem of the child in the home. The home should be the child’s first church; the father’s love his first gospel; the mother’s love his first altar. The home is the primal religious training-ground of the young, and parents should find in the church, not a substitute for their efforts, but a mighty helper.’ The home is the natural place for the finest expression of Christian living. It is also the best place for definite training in the practise of living together as Christians. Children are born imitators.
Hence this is a safe rule of the home, ’ Do absolutely nothing before a child that you would not have him copy.’ The parents in the home must live daily the Christlike life if they wish their children to develop a beautiful Christlike spirit. The child’s senses respond to anything that is presented to him, whether good or bad, true or false, wise or foolish. There is only one safe rule, ’ Let nothing touch his senses that you would not have enter permanently into his life.’ The furnishings of the home and the whole atmosphere of the home teach louder than any words. The following are some practical suggestions along definite lines for practise in the home.
Suggestions for Parents
“Atmosphere of Reality. God and the spiritual life must be real, not something for Sunday or special occasions, but for every-day living. Religion is not a matter of pious phrases, but a vital factor in life. Children see through shams, but they respond to an atmosphere of reality. The parental attitude of consistency and sincerity is never lost upon a child.
“ Reverence for Sacred Things. There are things that are sacred. These should never be the subject of jokes, of foolish talking, or of open criticism. The very attitude of the body and the tone of the voice should show reverence. When we pray we should assume the reverent attitude of body and speak quietly and with feeling. The Bible is a sacred book. It should never be handled roughly nor covered up with other books and papers. The church is sacred to the presence and worship of God.
Men and boys should never enter it without taking off their hats. Children should never run in it as a playroom. There are other things such as baptism, the Lord’s Supper, marriage, etc, which should be treated with due reverence.
“Pictures. Pictures have great educational value. The pictures on the wall and the illustrations that the children see in books, magazines, and papers all teach.
How important it is that, the right pictures be chosen for the living-room and the nursery.
“ Story-telling and Dramatisation. Story-telling is the oldest and best method of teaching children. Before printing the story-teller was the historian of his day. The oldest university in the world is the ’ University of Mother’s Knee/ ’ Tell Me a Story ’ is the cry of every child. The story-hour around the fireplace is the best hour of the day in many homes. The good-night stories of mothers as they put their children to bed is the golden hour of the day for the little ones. Bad habits can be corrected and good ones installed through stories. The finest virtues can be awakened through a well-selected story. Every parent should be a story-teller. Buy a good book on this subject and learn to tell stories. Know the wonderful stories of the Bible. Have some good books on stories for children in your library. Then after you have told the stories, let the children tell them back to you or play them out in simple dramatization.
“Music. What music do you have in your home?
What songs do you sing as a family around the piano?
What song do you sing to the children when you put them to bed? Does your piano, your victrola, your radio develop the religious impulses of your children? Music appeals to the emotions. Here is your chance to touch the deepest chords of one’s being with the loftiest themes.
“Reading. What do you read m your home? What magazines and papers are on your reading-table? Is there any religious paper or magazine among these?
What books are in your library? Are you buying books to meet the growing needs of your children? Have they books which they own, read, and love? Have you any modern books on child culture? Have you any books that inform you as to the religious, physical, and social crises in the life of your children?
“ Games and Recreation. Do you have games together as a family? Especially do you try to do something together as a family Sunday afternoons and evenings so that your home becomes the center of attraction for the entire family? Do you play some of the best religious and educational games? What are you doing to make every one happy in the home? Are your children being taught to play together with others in the Christian way?
“ Spending Money. Does God have anything to say to you about the way you spend your money. Does he receive any share of your money? Are your children being taught how to earn and how to save and how to spend? Do you do all the giving for your children or are you teaching them to give to the church for missions and for others?
“ Expressional Activities. What chance are you giving your children to express their religious emotions through some definite activity? Do they ever make anything for somebody in need or some lonely one or some one far away?. Have they learned through cutting and folding paper to illustrate the truths that have been taught? Have they learned as a group to choose some worth-while object and work it out by themselves? Are your children being taught to give expression in some definite manner to moral and religious truths? There is a law of life that we love the person or object that we work for. If this be true, then every child should be taught to work for his church, his home, his Saviour, and for others.
“ Table Talk. What do you talk about at the table?
What is your reaction at the dinner-table on Sunday to the church services? Many a good man has lost his Christian influence in his own home by thoughtless criticism of the pastor, the church, or Christian people at the Sunday dinner-table. Then he wonders why his boys and girls do not love the church or Christ. It is impossible to love deeply and criticize at the same time. One never likes the person whom he has mistreated. The good book says, * Criticize not lest ye be criticized, for with what criticism ye criticize ye shall be criticized/
“Prayer and the Children. Every child should hear his father’s and mother’s voice in prayer. Every child should be taught to pray to the loving heavenly Father. As often as possible the whole family should kneel together in family prayer. Surely grace should be asked at every meal. In these busy days some are having difficulty with the family altar. This need not be. There is usually one meal at which most of the family are together. A few words can be read from the Book or a few verses repeated by the family from memory or a Bible story may be told, then all bow or kneel in a short, earnest prayer, including in the prayer the special needs of the home and each member of the family. There is a value in this family prayer that can be secured in no other way.
It should be faithfully followed in every Christian home.
“ Cooperation with the Church. The church can do its best work only when it has the full and hearty cooperation of the home. Every parent should see that assigned work in the Sunday school is performed; that prompt regular and faithful attendance upon the services of the church is the habit of each child. The home and the church should work together in the Christian development of children and young people.
“Parental Understanding of the Crises of Youth.
Every parent should know the physical laws of development of the children. They should especially prepare them by wise, loving, and reverent teaching for that period in adolescence when they come into full possession of their sex powers. This must be done by the parents very early. As well expect a child to cross unharmed a crowded street of a great city blindfolded as to expect a young man to enter safely into life, ignorant of the great laws of his own physical being. TKere comes a time between the ages of twelve and sixteen when much attention must be given to the physical so that the young man may have a strong, clean body. Right habits of body, proper food, sufficient rest, suitable recreation, selfcontrol; these are things which parents must not neglect.
“ Every parent should know and anticipate the period of social awakening and expansion which comes in the middle teens. The young people need to be taught the Christian way of living together and of having a good time. Pleasure is a God-given capacity. Young people must have good times together. The home should provide this.
“ Every parent should beinterested in the education of their children and in their vocational choices. With a little encouragement a boy would not drop out of school, but go on to something better. Every parent should work carefully with his boy or girl in helping to choose and to prepare for * Life Service.’
“ Every parent should know the spiritual development of life. These have been indicated in the discussion * Seasons of the Soul.’ Youth is the time when God is working to develop life. In the habit-forming period of life God wants our boys and girls to form physical habits that are Christian, learn to live together in a Christian way and develop habits and attitude of mind that are truly Christian. This produces strong, positive, Christian character.
“A mother once said to me: ’We have to take our pains at one end or the other. If we take it when the children are young, they will grow up to be a credit to us, and we can take pride and comfort with them. If we neglect them in their youth and have our good times without thought of them we can take our pains later in disappointment, shame, and even sorrow. For one I prefer to take my pains when the children are little.’ Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. The Story of One Christian Home
“ Seventy-seven years ago a boy was born in a farmer home in the hills of Otsego County, New York. It was soon evident that he was handicapped. He was not so strong as his brothers and sisters, and when he started to school he had frequent attacks of severe headache. Probably he needed glasses, but they did not think of such things in those days. To his great disappointment he could not go to school beyond the little, red district school of his neighborhood. He had a secret longing to be a minister, but knew that this was impossible. So he worked on the farm. There was another handicap to his secret ambition. He stammered.
“When he was thirteen years old he was converted and joined the Baptist church. Every convert was expected to testify. He believed it his duty to bear witness. So he tried. Sometimes he would stand up to give his testimony and not be able to say a word, but he soon discovered a wonderful thing. Though he could not talk with men, he could talk with God: for when he prayed, his tongue was unloosed. Because he was denied the privilege of talking easily with men, he learned to talk with God. When he would try to give a testimony and could not, he would kneel and pour out his heart to God in prayer. Thus he developed a marvelous prayer life.
He was asked frequently to pray in public, at funerals, at associations, and in community gatherings. When he rose and shut his eyes, he was in the presence of his Father to whom he talked as lovingly and simply as a child. His own brother became a professor in Cornell University, and in later years said: ’ I would rather hear him pray than any man I have ever heard. It makes me feel that our heavenly Father is very real to hear his appeals, his confidence, and trust.’
“When he was twenty-four he met and married a beautiful Christian girl in his own church. Together they started a Christian home around the open Bible. The children came; five strong, healthy little ones. When Sunday came they took turns about in going to church.
Then a terrible scourge of diphtheria passed through that community, and when it had passed the home was empty. No more the song and laughter of little voices. In one brief month all the children had gone to be with their Saviour. These good Christians did not lose their faith, nor cease their prayer life. A great revival broke out in the schoolhouse. Religion and the winning of others to Christ became their solace. In direct answer to prayer as they firmly believed God gave them the promise of another little one. At the child’s birth their joy was doubled for there was a boy and a -girl; twins. The proud father said, * God always answers better than we ask.’
“The boy went to district school and later to high school. His father was his closest chum and friend.
They talked and planned for college almost from the boy’s earliest remembrance. Each Sunday found them in God’s house for worship and for Sunday school. Every day at the family altar the mother read from the Bible and the father prayed for their church and for their pastor, for more ministers and missionaries and for the extension of Christ’s kingdom in earth’s uttermost bounds. He graduated from high school at the age of seventeen. One day soon after, he told his father as they were doing chores in the barn, that he ha^l heard God call him into the Christian ministry. The father said: * I am not surprised. I want to tell you something that I never told any one before. I wanted to be a minister, but I knew I could not with my old stammering tongue. I hoped that one of your older brothers would, but God’ took them. I gave you to the Lord before you were born, and there has not been a day since that I have not prayed that God would call you to serve him.’
“ The boy went to college and to theological seminary. The memory of his home and the prayers of his parents followed him and helped him. In the spring term of his senior year in the seminary there came the call of need in the foreign field. He became a Student Volunteer and applied to the Foreign Board and was accepted as a missionary for Southern India. His father and mother gave him their blessing and approval. He went to his boyhood church to be ordained. His father, though he was only a layman in the church, was asked to give the ordaining prayer. This is his prayer as he laid his hands upon the lad’s head:
O God, thou didst have but one Son.
Thou didst give him to be our Saviour.
We give to Thee this, our only son.
Take him, send him anywhere thou wilt,
Only make him a winner o souls.
Oh, make him a winner of many, many precious souls.
“ The lad’s way was blocked to the foreign field. He became a pastor in the homeland. When the father had reached his seventieth birthday he wrote this letter to his preacher boy:
We do pray for you that you may bethe means in God’s hands of winning many souls for him. You and your work have been on my mind a good deal the past week. God has been good to me to let me live the threescore and ten years. I feel that God is letting me live to pray for the upbuilding of his cause and for eur dear ones that they may be soul-winners for Christ. I want to be more faithful in his cause as the days go by. I wake up in the night and pray for you. God does hear all true prayer and gives answers of peace and love.
We went to church and Sunday school today. The pastor preached a good sermon.
How I would like to be with you for a few days to help in those extra meetings. Well, if we cannot be there in body we can in spirit We do love you all very much.
Good-bye, From your loving father,
“ Today that man is still praying for the extension of Christ’s kingdom. He has been praying for this special campaign in our church.
“ I am a minister of Jesus Christ because that man is my father”
TOPICS FOR DISCUSSION 1. What are some of the causes for the decay of home life?
2. Why is it more difficult to conduct family worship today than for our fathers?
3. Why should father and mother work together in bringing up children?
4. Can the church take the place of the parents in Christian nurture? Give reasons for your answer.
5. What, as you see it, is the effect of the automobile upon the social life of young people?
6. How can a home be the social center for a group of young people?
7. As you think of it now, what was the greatest contribution of your parents to you?
REFERENCES “The Training of Children in the Christian Family,” Weigle.
“The Use of the Story in Religious Education,” Eggleston.
“ Mother’s Problems,” Clark.
“ Religious Education in the Family,” Cope.
“ The Mother-Teacher of Religion,” Betts.
“ Child Nature and Child Nurture,” St. John.
“ Brothering the Boy,” Raffety.
“ Pictures in Religious Education,” Beard.
“ Parents and Their Children,” Moxcey.