Abner Jones - 14-Be a Doctor or Be a Preacher?

Be a Doctor or Be a Preacher? In this period of time I had calls to go among the sick, and no small stir was made among the people about my turning preacher, as they termed it. When I returned home I found Mrs. Jones under great agitation about the loss that I met with, since I had been gone, for so many dollars I might have earned, if I had been at home; what was worse than all the rest, was the mortification she had received by peoples calling and saying where is the Doct.? I told them you was gone to Danville. What said they, is he gone to doctor any body, or is he gone to meeting to preach? I told them I supposed you were gone to meeting, and I supposed some body was sick too. Well said they, if he does not attend to his business better, we must have another doctor, if he is going to be gone so. She said that she was saluted four times in one night, hallow! where is the doct.? and I had to tell them, gone to Danville, gone to Danville. My wife concluded it was as much my duty to stay at home, and attend to my business, as it was to go about preaching, earning nothing. Said she, you say yourself you will not be settled, and have a salary, but only receive just what the people are pleased to give you, and as for the cold hand of charity, that will never maintain any body. Once you wanted to have something in the world as well as I, but now you care nothing about it, all you care for is to go about and preach. We shall soon come to nothing, and be as poor as poverty itself and come to begging. I told my wife that what she said concerning poverty, it was quite likely would be true, for I expected nothing but to be poor, in this world. I asked my wife if she did not remember what I told her before we were married, about preaching and being poor? her answer was I do not know as I do. I then said, do you not remember, that I asked you before we were married, whether you were acquainted with the person, with whom you expected to unite with for life. You said you thought you did. I then told you that you were under a mistake. For I was not a native of this country, but that I was a runaway from my native country, and I expected that if I lived, I should return some time or other, and that if you did not like to go with me, I should go and leave you. That is, said I, I have been a professor of religion, and wandered from it, but I hope to return some time or other, and enjoy religion again. But I must tell you still further, that I have been tried about preaching, and I expect that I must preach yet; for God always visited me with judgments for my wanderings from him, and I expect he will still continue to do so. I expect after I have been married three or four years, and have had three or four children, and my children crying for bread and milk, and my wife in rags, and I not a suit of clothes decent to appear abroad; in this situation I expect to have to go out and preach, and if you cannot be willing to come to this, you must not marry me.

I then asked her again, do you not remember I told all this? she then acknowledged she did. I then told her it was not so bad yet, for my family was not in want, and moreover, through the goodness of God, my wife is not in rags, and I have yet a decent suit of clothes to wear. I told my wife that I believed it was my duty to preach, and that if I had lost five thousand dollars, I should not begrudge it, I had seen so much of the goodness of God. I proceeded to say, we have enough to last us one year to live upon, and I am determined to spend my time in preaching, while that lasts, and if no door opens for me to maintain my family, I will return to my former occupation, or any other lawful business. And I can say, at that time I felt willing to make a full surrender of all that I had, both property and family, time and talents.

Directly after this conversation the Doctor of a neighboring town came in to see me. He had been called to go to some of the places, where I had been called upon to go in my absence. He also gave me a considerable of a lecture, on the impropriety of leaving my business, but I let him know my intentions also. By this time, a number of my acquaintance began to enquire whether I meant to give up my business and go about preaching. I told them plainly that I did, and that they might look out for another doctor as soon as they pleased. Some said one thing, and some another; some urged, what will you do to maintain your family? you are now in good business, and who will pity you, if you suffer ever so much, if you leave your business? Some said, you will be glad to take it up again or beg, &c. Some said, well, if you are determined to preach, preach on Sabbath days and evenings, but attend to your business on week days. I believe it would fill a large volume, to write all that was said to, and about me on this subject, but this must suffice for this place, but more by and by. By this time it was noised abroad that I had given up business and gone to preaching. And indeed so many doors opened for preaching, that in a short time, my time was all taken up.

I now made it my business to settle with every one that I had dealings with, and so drew my business to a close as soon as possible. About this time, I had great trials in my mind, about my dear wife and children’s suffering on my account, for I saw no way for the support of my family, only what little I had before hand, and that would soon be gone. On my own part I felt as tho’ I deserved nothing but poverty and sufferings, on account of my former rebellion. But thoughts of my wife and children’s suffering on my account, I shall not reckon among my least trials. I was also under the greatest doubts possible at times, whether the Lord had called me or not, and yet I could not go back, on account of the vow that I made to the Lord; for doors kept opening more and more continually, and my promise to the Lord was, to go where doors opened, so there was no way for me to go back.

I was like the leapers at the gate of Samaria. "If we stay here we must die, if we go into the city we cannot but die." So it was with me, If I stay here I must die, and if I go forward to preach I can but die. Under these afflictions, the words of Paul were a great consolation to me. "For whom I have suffered the loss of all things." So with Paul I felt determined to suffer the loss of all things. I never set out to preach the gospel for the sake of money, or honor, or ease, but because, "woe is me if I preach not the Gospel."

Under these exercises of mind which I have above mentioned, I was lead to cry unto the Lord that if he had called me to preach, to open some unexpected way for the support of my family, that the cause might not be wounded in this way, for the people said my family would soon suffer, but blessed be God we have not yet. And I will take occasion here to say that I never have once been sorry that I give up my business. It is now a little over six years since I began to preach, and the Lord has been much more bountiful to me than what I deserve, or expected. The desire that I have just mentioned, that the Lord would provide some way, for the support of my family, was that which rested with great weight on my mind, for a number of months. In the latter part of October or the first part of November, I took a journey to Hartford, Woodstock, Bridgwater, &c. In this journey I had repeated opportunities of preaching among my former acquaintance, generally with freedom. In Woodstock and the vicinity around I found the work of the Lord, powerfully going on among many of my acquaintance, and particularly, in my wife’s father’s family. I also heard of a good work that had lately taken place in Lebanon, New-Hampshire, at the mouth of white river, I felt also a particular desire to visit the people there, but as I had no invitation I did not go; for I always go by invitation, and in no other way to any place to preach. I returned home about the last of November. I commenced preaching in September 1801.