3. Anecdotes 21-30

Spugeon's Anecdotes #21-30 21. A Smart Rejoinder

Mr. Spurgeon, when looking at the books in a second-hand bookshop, was addressed by a Paedo-baptist, who, pointing to a book on infant baptism—we presume that by Mr. Thorne—said, "Here, Mr. Spurgeon, here is your thorn in the flesh."

"Finish the quotation, brother," said Mr. S., "the messenger of Satan to buffet me."

22. A Sound Conclusion On the occasion of one of his visits to Southampton to preach, Mr. Spurgeon was the guest of Canon Wilberforce at the Deanery. Among the company assembled were Lord Radstock and several clergymen and curates of the High Church School. A discussion was started by one of the clergy on the question of the "Sacraments," and on baptism in particular.

"Now, Mr. Spurgeon," said one of the company, "you will grant that our Lord instituted two Sacraments, won't you?"

"I will grant nothing of the kind," said he. "The Lord instituted two ordinances, which is a very different matter. A sacrament was an oath of allegiance taken by a Roman soldier to the Emperor. The Prayer-book may use the term sacraments, but the Bible does not; neither will I." The word ordinance was allowed as expressing more accurately the import of the two commands relating to baptism and the Lord's Supper. The discussion at length brought up the question of "baptismal regeneration." All the arguments available were brought forward in support of the High Church view, when Lord Radstock, who had been a silent listener, interposed, asking, "What sort of persons do those become whom you regenerate in baptism? I will tell you," said he. "Eyes have they, but they see not; ears have they, but they hear not; noses have they, but they smell not; neither speak they through their throat. They that make them are like unto them, so is every one that trusteth in them."

23. A Thief in Heaven?

During Mr. Spurgeon's brief ministry at Water-beach, a gentleman, who was Mayor of Cambridge, asked the youthful preacher if he had really told his people that if a thief got into heaven he would pick the angels' pockets. "Yes, sir," replied Mr. Spurgeon, "I told them that if it were possible for an ungodly man to go to heaven without having his nature changed, he would be none the better for being-there; and then, by way of illustration, I said that if a thief got in he would remain a thief still, and would go round the place picking the angels' pockets." "But, my dear young friend," said the mayor, "don't you know that the angels have no pockets?" "No, sir," he replied, "but I am glad to be assured of the fact from a gentleman who does know. I will set it all right." The following Monday morning Mr. Spurgeon walked into the mayor's shop, and said, "I set that matter right yesterday, sir."

"What matter?"

"Why, about the angels' pockets!"

"What did you say?"

"Well, I told the people I was sorry to say I made a mistake the last time I preached, but I had met a gentleman—the mayor of Cambridge—who told me that the angels had no pockets, so I must correct what I said, as I did not want anybody to go away with a false notion about heaven. I would therefore say that, if a thief got among the angels without having his nature changed, he would steal the feathers out of their wings."

24. A Wicked Man's Gifts and Doom At a tea-meeting Mr. Spurgeon was discussing the large gifts which a well-known person had bestowed on different charities. "Do you know," said he, "that man's fortune has been swollen by dancing saloons, to which are attached private apartments? If such a man does not go to the devil, I don't see what use it is to have a devil at all."

25. Beards

Mr. Spurgeon was an admirer of a good full beard as a manly appendage. Meeting a brother minister one day who had grown a fine beard since they last met, he said to him, "Well, brother—, I am glad to see your face, so much of it as I can see. You remind me of the Apostle Paul, who told the Ephesians that 'they should see his face no more.'"

26. Black from the Soul to the Skin A man in Port Elizabeth, South Africa, the son of Kaffir parents, wrote an interesting letter to Mr. Spurgeon, telling him of the good his sermons had done him. He says that, one day as he was going to his daily work, he met a friend in the street. They spoke together of the Word of God, and his friend asked him whether he had ever seen one of Mr. Spurgeon's books.

"What Mr. Spurgeon is that?" he asked.

"One of the ministers in London," he was told.

"No, I never saw such a book in my life." The other said he bought it from the bookseller. He asked the name of the book, and was told it was the Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit, and he went straight to the shop and bought one. "On my reading it," says he, "I arrived at a place where Job said, 'Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him.' I am sure I can't tell how to describe the goodness you have done to us, we black people of South Africa. We are black, not only outside, even inside; I wouldn't mind to be a black man only in colour. It is a terrible thing to be black from the soul to the skin, but still I am very glad to say your sermons have done something good to me. May the Lord bless your efforts and prosper your work. May it please Him to gain many sons into His glory through you as His instrument, not only in London but also in Africa!" To all of which we say, "Amen."

27. College or no College The disappointment caused to Mr. Spurgeon through the careless omission of the servant (see No. 20) did not altogether repress in him the desire for a collegiate education, but he was brought to a decision in a remarkable way. He says: "Still holding the idea of entering the collegiate institution, I thought of writing and making an immediate application, but this was not to be. That afternoon, having to preach at a village station, I walked slowly, in a meditative frame of mind over Midsummer Common to the little wooden bridge which leads to Chesterton, and in the midst of the common I was startled by what seemed to me a loud voice, but which may have been a singular illusion; whichever it was, the impression on my mind was most vivid; I seemed very distinctly to hear the words, 'Seekest thou great things for thy- self? Seek them not.' This led me to look at my position from a different point of view, and to challenge my motives and intentions. I remembered my poor but loving people to whom I ministered, and the souls which had been given me in my humble charge; and although at that time I anticipated obscurity and poverty as the result of the resolve, yet I did there and then renounce the offer of collegiate instruction, determining to abide, for a season, at least, with my people; and to remain preaching the Word as long as I had strength to do it. Had it not been for these words I had not been where I am now. The Lord guides His people by His wisdom, and orders their paths in love; and in times of perplexity, by ways mysterious and remarkable, He says to them, 'This is the way, walk ye in it.'"

28. Deacons

Among the many false stories that have been told, especially in former years, of Mr. Spurgeon and his sayings, is that respecting deacons. He is reported to have said that deacons are worse than the devil, because if you resist the devil he will flee from you, whereas if you resist a deacon he will fly at you. Of course this was somebody's invention, and a wicked one, too, for he never said any such thing. He had some admirable deacons and elders, and no minister ever felt more strongly bound to other men in his church than Mr. Spurgeon did to his beloved brethren in the deacons' and elders' office. Indeed, he sometimes cautioned his students not to be harsh and forward to censure and condemn them when difference of opinion arose. He mentions one who undoubtedly was a good man, but every now and again was overcome with fits of temper. It was a mystery to all who knew him that such should be the case, for he was usually most gracious and devout. When he died a surgeon examined his head, and found a little bit of bone protruding into the brain. The mystery of his occasional irritability was thus explained.

There are deacons and deacons; some who execute their office faithfully and adorn it, but there are others who magnify their office, and not in the best sense. But upon the whole they are a worthy set of Christian men, though, like ministers, none of them are perfect. Less of self-esteem, and more of the grace of humility, forbearance, and brotherly love, would improve some deacons and ministers also.

29. "Do as he Does, not as he Says."

One day, when travelling by rail with Mr. Spurgeon, the latter related the following story, which has not, so far as the writer knows, found its way into any of his books, or any other publication. In the year 1858, a Congregational minister, labouring in Kennington Lane, told Mr. Spurgeon that he had a young lady in his congregation who wished to be baptized (immersed) on her profession of faith. "Very well," said Mr. S., "we shall be baptizing on such a date, let her come, or bring her, and we will attend to the matter."

"But," said the other, "I think every pastor ought, if possible, to baptize his own candidates."

"Very well, it shall be so if you wish it." The day and time having been arranged, all the parties met in Mr. Spurgeon's vestry before the service.

"Now," said Mr. Spurgeon, "my people have often heard my side of the question, if you would like to say a few words on your side, you are at liberty to do so. You will see how I perform the rite, and you can follow." The service proceeded, and when the time came for the clerical visitor to state his views on the mode of baptism, he delivered himself of a series of objections to immersion, all, however, of venerable date and of a negative character: Immersion was unnecessary, unhealthy, etc., etc., and then added that, nevertheless, if anyone believed it to be right, God would accept it. A most unsound and unscriptural position. He then baptized his candidate. Meanwhile, the people wondered greatly how Mr. Spurgeon came to allow him to speak on such a subject and in such a way. The matter was soon put right, however, in a few words, when Mr. Spurgeon said, "All I shall say is, do as he does, not as he says."

30. Don't Attempt the Grand

Addressing his students one day, Mr. Spurgeon said: "If you should attempt the grand in your preaching, mind you are sure of not making a fool of yourself, as the brother did who exclaimed, 'It thundered, brethren—it thundered—like—like—like—anything.' Nor yet as he who, describing the angels ascending and descending Jacob's ladder, said, 'They went up and down, up and down—like—like'—but he did not know what to liken their movements to, but only made himself look like a fool."