17. He mourns most before God for those lusts which appear least before men
Another singular action of a sanctified Christian, is, To mourn most before God, for those lusts which appear least before men.
Others cannot mourn in secret for public sins, but we should mourn in public for our secret sins. That must be sought with repentance, which has been so long lost by disobedience. Outward acts are most scandalous among men, but inward lusts are most dangerous before God. Reader, if you would know the heart of your sin, then you must know the sins of your heart; for, out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. These streams of defilement which appear in your life, do but shew what a fountain of wickedness there is in your heart. Even the thought of foolishness is sin. When sin hath conceived, it bringeth forth death. There is no sin so little as not to kindle an eternal fire: its first-born is death, and its last-born is hell.
Though repentance be the act of man, yet it is the gift of God: it requires the same power to melt the heart, as to make it. As we are deeply fallen
II from a state of innocence, so we should rise to a state of penitence. Those sins shall never make a hell for us, which are a hell to us. Some people do nothing more than make work for repentance, and yet do nothing less than repent of their works. They have sin enough for all their sorrows, but not sorrow enough for all their sins. Their eyes are casements to let in lusts, when they should be flood-gates to pour out tears.
When godly sorrow takes possession of the house, it will quickly shut sin out of doors. There must be a falling out with our lust, before there can be a genuine falling off from our lusts: a loathing of sin in our affections, before a true leaving of sin in our actions. It is an hearty mourning for our transgressions, which makes way for a happy funeral of our corruptions.
O sinner, you have filled the book of God with your sins; and will you not fill the bottle of God with your tears? Remember, that when Christ draws the likeness of the new creature, his first pencil is dipped in water. Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish. Is it not better to repent without perishing, than to perish without repenting? Godly sorrow is such a grace, as without it, not a soul shall be saved, and with it, not a soul shall be lost. Is it not therefore better to swim in the water-works of repentance, than to burn in the fire-works of vengeance? Think not that the tears which in hell are offered, will in the least abate the torments which in hell are suffered.
Repentance is an invaluable grace, for it is the bestowment of an invaluable Saviour. Him hath
God exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour, to give repentance to Israel, and remission of sins. As a Prince he gives repentance, and as a Priest he gives pardon. Our humiliation is the fruit of his exaltation: as he was abased for the creature's advancement, so he was exalted for the creature's abasement. Remember, sinner, if your heart be not broken in you, your guilt is not broken from you. If you lay not your sins to heart, that you may be humbled; God will lay your sins to your charge, that you may be damned. Though repentance be not a pardon's obtainer; yet it is a pardon's fore-runner.
He that lives in sin, without repentance; shall die in sin, without forgiveness. There is no coming to the fair haven of glory, without sailing through the narrow strait of repentance. Christ Jesus rejoices over those as blessed, who mourn over themselves as cursed. Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted. Out of the saltest water, God can brew the sweetest liquor. The skilful bee gathers the best honey from the bitterest herbs. When the cloud has been dissolved into a shower, there presently follows a glorious sunshine. The more a stone is wounded by the hand of the engraver, the greater beauty is superinduced thereon. By groans unutterable, the Lord ushers in joys unspeakable.
None do more sing in the possession of Christ, than such as most lament the departure of Christ; usually their joys are commensurate to their sorrows. A tender heart is like melting wax: ah, what choice impressions are made upon such dispositions!
A Christian should mourn more for the lusts of the flesh, than for the works of the flesh: for the sin of our nature transcends the nature of all our outward sins. Carnal sins defile the soul by the body; but spiritual sins defile the soul in the body. Many people can mourn over a body from which a soul is departed, but they cannot mourn over a soul whom God has deserted: alas! what is the bite of a fly, to the stinging of a scorpion? or a spot in the face, to a stab in the heart? Inward diseases are least visible, and yet most fatal. A man may die of the plague, although his spots never appear.
Sin in the soul, is like Jonah in the ship; it turns the smoothest water into a troubled ocean. We must mourn for sin on earth, or burn for sin in hell. It is the coldness of our hearts, which kindles the fire of God's anger. They shall look upon him whom they have pierced, and mourn for him, as one that mourneth for his only son; and shall be in bitterness for him, as one that is in bitterness for his first born.—Christians! the nails that pierced his hands, should now pierce your hearts: you should now be deeply wounded with godly sorrow, for having so deeply wounded him with your deadly sins. It should grieve your spirits, to remember how much you have grieved his Spirit.
A believer puts on the sackcloth of contrition, for having put off the garment of perfection. As the sugar-loaf is dissolved, and weeps itself away, when dipped in wine; so do our hearts melt under a sense of divine love. Our language at such a season is, O that we should be such base children to so blessed a Father!
Man must be convinced of sin, before he can truly repent of sin: unbelief in the heart is like the worm in Jonah's gourd, an unseen adversary; it is least visible, but most hurtful. Infidelity is the worst of robbers; it both plunders and wounds the soul: Christ may dwell in the heart where it lurks, but not where it reigns. If Christ destroy its armour, it becomes weak as other men. Its chief strength wherein it trusteth, is ignorance; and no wonder why men sigh so little for sin, when they see so little of sin. They have tears enough for their outward losses, but none for their inward lusts: they can mourn for the evil which sin brings, but not for sin which brings the evil.
Pharaoh more lamented the hard strokes that were upon him, than the hard heart which was within him. Esau mourned not because he sold the birth-right, which was his sin; but because he lost the blessing, which was his punishment. This is like weeping with an onion; the eye sheds tears, because it smarts. A mariner casts overboard that cargo in a tempest, which he courts the return of when the winds are silenced. Many complain more of the sorrows to which they are born, than of the sins with which they were born: they tremble more at the vengeance of sin, than at the venom of sin; one delights them, the other affrights them.
The sinners in Sion are afraid, fearfulness hath surprised the hypocrites. Why, what is the matter? Who amongst us shall dwell in everlasting
II 3 burnings? They feared corruption, not as it was a coal that defiled, but as it was a fire that burned them. A stroke from justice brake the heart of Judas into despair; while a look from mercy melted Peter's heart into tears.
There are two things in our sins; the devilishness of them, and the dangerousness of them. Now take a saint and a sinner; the first says, 'What have I done?' the last says, 'What must I suffer?' One mourns for the active evil; the other for the passive evil. The former grieves because his soul is defiled; the latter, because his soul is condemned. Water may gush from a rock when it is smitten with a rod; but all such streams are lost; for they neither quench the flames of hell, nor fill God's bottles in heaven.
Our whole life should be a life of repentance; and such as needeth not to be repented of. While the vessel is leaking, the pump may be going. Reader, it is an unfavourable symptom, if you can wipe away tears from your eyes before God has washed away guilt from your conscience. Is it not better travelling to heaven sadly, than to hell securely? Give me a sorrowful saint, rather than a merry sinner.
Did the rocks rend when Christ died for sin? and shall not our hearts rend for having lived in sin? If we confess our sin, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sin; and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Did ever words like these drop from the lips of any being, except God's? Here, the sinner is desired only to acknowledge the debt, and the bond shall be cancelled. Is it not therefore better to be saved by divine mercy, than to be sued by divine justice? As soon as we are oppressed, and groan under our own burdens, we are sure to be cased by Christ's shoulders. If we remember our offences with unfeigned grief, the offended Lord joyfully forgives and forgets them all.
Where misery passes undiscerned, there mercy passes undesired. Christ may knock long at such doors, before he gains admittance. He only enters into those, who enter into themselves. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. Christ oftener comes to the door, than he enters the house. As we knock at his door for audience, so he does at our's for entrance. If his person be shut out, our prayers will be shut out. Why should God shew him mercy, who never acknowledged himself guilty? A saint's tears are better than a sinner's triumphs. Bernard saith, Lachryma penitentium sunt vinum angelorum. 'The tears of penitents are the wine of angels.'
When a sinner repents, the angels rejoice: and give me such a mourning on earth, as creates music in heaven. Many are battered as lead by the hammer, who were never bettered as gold by the fire. Sometimes, that repentance which begins in the fears of hell, ends in the flames of hell.
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