22. He takes those reproofs best which he needs most
Another singular action of a sanctified Christian, is, To take those reproofs best which he needs most.
It was the saying of an heathen, though no heathenish saying, 'That he who would be good, must either have a faithful friend to instruct him, or a watchful enemy to correct him.' Should we murder a physician, because he comes to cure us; or like him worse, because he would make us better?
The flaming sword of reprehension is but to keep us from the forbidden fruit of transgression. Let the righteous smite me, and it shall be a kindness;
K and let him reprove me, it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head. Let him smite me as with a hammer, for so the word signifies. A Boanerges is as necessary as a Barnabas.
Am I become your enemy, because I tell you the truth? Truth is not always relished, where sin is nourished. Light is pleasant; yet it may be offensive to sore eyes. Honey is sweet, though it cause the wound to smart: but we must not neglect the actions of friends, for fear of drawing upon ourselves the suspicions of being enemies. It is better to lose the smiles of men, than the souls of men. Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thy heart, nor suffer sin to lie upon him. He who loves a garment, hates the moths which fret it.
Rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee; but rebuke a scorner, and he will hate thee. Reproof slides from a scorner's breast, as water from an oiled post. Instead of loving a man amidst all his injuries, he will hate him for all his civilities. Most people are like restive horses, which no sooner feel the rowel, than they strike with their heels; or like bees, which no sooner are angered, than they put out their stings.
There is much discretion to be observed in reprehension: a word will do more with some, than a blow with others. A Venice glass is not to be rubbed so hard as a brazen kettle. The tender reed is more easily bowed than the sturdy oak. Christ's warfare requires no carnal weapons. Dashing storms do but destroy the seed, while gentle showers nourish it. Chariots too furiously driven, may be overturned by their own violence.
How many are there, who check passion with passion; and are very angry in reproving anger! Thus, to lay one devil, they raise another; and leave more work to be undone, than they found to be done. Such a reproof of vice, is a vice to be reproved. In reprehension, we should always beware of carrying our teeth in our tongues; and of biting while we are speaking. A surgeon would not be justifiable in dismembering a body, if he could effect a cure without it.
Brethren, if any man be overtaken in a fault, you that are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness. The word signifies, to set him in joint again; and to set a dislocated bone, requires the lady's hand; tenderness, as well as skilfulness. Reprehension is not an act of butchery, but an act of surgery. Take heed of blunting the instrument, by putting too keen an edge upon it. Mark the reason which the apostle assigns for gentle reproof: Considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
If thy neighbour's house be on fire, thine own may be in danger. We should be willing to lend mercy at one time, as we may have occasion to borrow it at another. We should do with other's sins, as we do with our own sores; which, if a gentle scar will produce a sufficient discharge, we avoid cutting and slashing. If ravenous birds can be frayed away by a look, we need not expend powder and shot.
It is true, open sinners deserve open censures; but private admonitions will best suit private offences. While we seek to heal a wound in our brother's actions, we should be careful not to leave a scar upon his person. We give grains of allowance in all current coin. That is a choice friend, who conceals our faults from the view of others, and yet discovers them to our own. That medicine which rouses the evil humours of the body, and does not carry them off, only leaves it in a worse condition than it found it.
It must be lamented, that many are as lost to the softest tongue of reproof, as the deaf adder is to the sweet voice of the charmer: they are always administering the bitter pills of calumny, for the sweet cordials of charity. Men love to be adored, yet hate to be reproved. But how can we praise what they do, when they are so far from doing what is worthy to be praised?
How securely would David have slept, if Nathan had not been sent to rouse him! How far do many travel in the downward road, for want of a wholesome friend to stop them in their journey! Private admonition is rather a proof of benevolence, than of malevolence. It was the saying of Austin, when his hearers resented his frequent reproofs, 'Change your conduct, and I will change my conversation.' The more a serpent is stirred, the more he gathers up his poison.
Some are to reproof, as tygers are to drums; because they cannot stop them, they will tear their own flesh. Man is a cross creature, and cannot endure to be checked; he would have a Touch me not, written upon himself: but who would chide the dog for barking, when the thief is approaching?—Sin is like a nettle, which stings when it is gently touched, but hurts not when it is roughly handled. Beloved, this rough hewing of reproof is but to square us for the celestial building. As for flatterers, they may be named the devil's upholsterers; who no sooner see men troubled at their lusts, than they are for laying pillows under their elbows: but let such know, that their want of the fire of zeal will be punished with the fire of hell. He is an unskilful limber, who paints deformities in the fairest of colours.
Reprehension should tread upon the heels of transgression. The plaster should be applied as soon as the wound is received. It is easier to extinguish a flaming torch, than a burning house. Gentle medicine will serve for a recent distemper, but chronical diseases require powerful recipes.
The sword of reproof should be drawn against the offence, and not against the offender. Man thinks this cup is not sufficiently bitter, except he mingle it with his wormwood and gall. But the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. The severest sentences of the church are not mortal, but medicinal. They are to raise the dead to life, and not to put the living to death.
Who knows how much the majesty of a reprover may tame the insolence of an offender? He that hates reproof is brutish. He is brutish, like an angry dog, that snarles and bites while the festering thorn is being taken out of his foot; or like a vicious horse, that strikes the groom while he is rubbing off the dirt.
If thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone; if
E 3 he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
The spaniel loses the prey, by barking at the game.
The presence of a multitude makes a man take up an unjust defence, rather than lie down under a just shame. It is better to censure a man in private, than to spread his guilt by proclamation.
How many do that in the market, which they should do in the closet! Sin is a miry depth; if we attempt to help others out, and do not, we sink them the deeper. Remember, tender lambs, though straying, must be gently reduced to the fold.
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