1.04.06. Book 4: Numbers 95-115

74 DO NOT BE UNJUST The son was troubled, longing that confi­dence should be restored and yet not seeing how that which snapped in an hour of stress could be counted upon again. His Father opened the matter to him: Thou canst not recreate confidence. But do not be unjust. What ground hadst thou for thy confidence? Didst thou ask sand to be rock? Iron to be steel? Cane to be oak? To do that is to expect what cannot be. It is to be unjust.

Now turn from these sad thoughts: think of the faithful and loyal in whom thy heart may safely rest. Are not their words as honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones? Be grateful, make much of them, and go on thy way as one who is girded with gladness.

75 LEAVE ME TO TAKE CARE OF MY GLORY His thoughts said, It is the wrong done to others that is most painful. 0 to com­fort them! His Father said, Lovest thou thy beloved better than He who made them? I Myself will be their Comforter. His thoughts said, I am anxious about the good name of my Lord. It cannot be to His glory that untruth should be spread abroad like smoke. His Father said, Thy part is to walk softly. The smoke of earth cannot reach so high as the place where My honour dwelleth. Leave Me to take care of My glory.

76 THOU ART NO BIRD His thoughts said, Arrows are shot, as it were, from darkness, from nowhere. I cannot see whence they come and I do not know why they are shot. I only know that I long to escape out of their reach. His Father said, That is not a new temptation. Meet it as he did who wrote, "How say ye to my soul, Flee as a bird to your mountain? They make ready their arrow upon the string that they may shoot in darkness." Arrows shot in open day can be seen and countered. Arrows shot in darkness test the temper and poise of the spirit. But do not flee as a bird. Thou art no bird.

77 SPEECH AND SILENCE The son was unhappy because he had been compelled to speak of something he greatly wished to wrap in silence. When should he speak? When be silent? His Father caused him to understand that when the wrong done was personal, his lips must be silent. And he must see to it that in the hidden man of the heart there was always the gentleness of Christ. But when the good of others required it, then he must speak even as Paul did when he wrote of two who turned away, of two whose word ate as doth a canker and of some whose influence hindered. Let Love be without dissimulation.

Then the son took for a law of life these words: "Silence, unless the reason for speech will bear the searchlight of Eter­nity."

78 LET THE REST GO BY His thoughts said, How wearisome is the chatter of earth. His Father said, The world passeth away and the lust thereof (and the talk thereof), but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever. Fix thine heart on the doing of My will and let the rest go by.

79 THY GOD BEARETH PATIENTLY WITH THEE His thoughts said, I looked for clearness in souls. I do not always find it. His Father said, One day thou shalt look everywhere and see only spirits made perfect, clear as the pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, pure gold as it were transparent glass. But even now where thou art, as thou well knowest, there are some like that river, that gold. Again I say, rejoice in them. And with others, be patient. Thy God beareth patiently with thee.

80 BE OCCUPIED IN THE GREATEST THINGS The son, though consoled by the love of his Lord, found himself so preoccupied by the grief of disillusionment that he was bound in spirit and not free for his rightful work. But his God uncovered his eyes, and he saw this preoccupation as a bond from which the Spirit of Liberty was waiting to unbind him. And he knew that he must be occupied in the greatest things. He was doing a great work and he could not come down to these little things. If they did not seem little things to him, he must ask himself this question: Was He, whom he called Master and Lord, always understood? Was He never misjudged? They laid to His charge things that He knew not, to the great discomfiture of His spirit. Is it not enough for the disciple to be as his Master and the servant as his Lord?

81 THE GRACE OF CONTINUANCE The son asked for the Grace of Continu­ance. His Father showed him a waterfall fed from unseen fountains. The river of God is full of water, was his word then. The son feared the chilly influences of life. His Father showed him an altar. All night unto the morning the fire burned there. The fire shall ever be burning upon the altar; it shall never go out.

Then the son remembered that as the fall was fed by water from above, so the fire of the altar was lighted by Fire that came from before the Lord.

82 THE SECRET OF CONTINUED ENDURANCE The son asked, What is the secret of continued endurance? His Father answered, It is found in seeing Him who is invisible. It is found in look­ing at the joy that is set before thee. It is found in considering Him who endured. It is found in taking for thine own the words of one who was tempted to wax faint, "In the day when I cried Thou answeredst me, and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul." It is found in staking thine all upon the lightest word of the Lord, thy Redeemer. It is found in loyalty. It is found in love.

83 NOT ONE WOULD BE DISAPPOINTED The son feared for some who had not any part or inheritance in the natural joys of life. He feared loneliness for them. But his Father said, Fear not to trust them to Me. I am their Part and their Inheritance. Would I be a wilderness unto them, a land of darkness? Have I ever been a liar to the heart that trusted Me? Have I ever been as waters that fail? Thou hast heard their unspoken word, "My flesh and my heart faileth," and thy flesh and thy heart faileth too as thou thinkest of them. Fear not, grieve not. They will not end on that minor note. They shall not wear the spirit of heaviness; they shall wear the garment of praise. As the flowers of roses in the spring of the year, as lilies by the rivers of waters, so shall their gladness be. "But God is the Strength of my heart and my Portion for ever"-that will be their abiding word and their ever­lasting song. And the son knew that not one would be disappointed who had chosen loss for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven. And he was comforted as he thought of those lovers of his Lord caught up into Paradise, and hearing words which, could they be heard now, would not be lawful for a man to utter.

84 TREASURE IN HEAVEN His thoughts were full of unspoken longings. His Father said, Art thou here for the joy of being together? Thou hast Eternity. The son answered, I know that I have Eternity, but-- His Father said, Is it too hard to sell all that thou hast-even this-that thou mayest have Treasure in heaven? The son asked to be shown what was meant by Treasure in heaven. He was shown that it meant the greater glory of his Lord, more jewels for His crown, an eternal overweight of joy because of the sword-cut which had set him free to serve without distraction. It meant the holy intimacy foreshadowed by words not yet fully under­stood, These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever He goeth.

85 THY ZEBEDEES WHO ARE MY ZEBEDEES His thoughts said, I cannot bear that my Zebedees should miss me. His Father said, They are My Zebedees.

One day thou wilt see the first Zebedee who was left with the hired servants. Thou mayest ask him then whether he is sorry that he set his sons free to follow their Saviour. As thy Zebedees are par­takers of the suffering, so they are partakers of the consolation. And to all who are called to this fellowship their Lord saith, When I come again I will repay you.

Wouldest thou withhold that from thy Zebedees who are My Zebedees?

86 DO I NOT KNOW THE WAY TO MY OWN COUNTRY? The son said, I would not withhold that from them. And well I know that they whom Thou leadest through the deserts do not thirst; and yet I should be very grateful if there might be no more deserts for them. His Father said, Do I not know the way to My own Country? Is it not lawful for Me to do what I will with Mine own? Once more I say unto thee, Trust My love for thy beloved. No good thing shall I withhold. I will satisfy their soul in drought. I will comfort all their waste places. Am I a God at hand and not a God afar off?

87 THINK OF MY TWO ANGELS His thoughts said, I want to pray about all the needs of those whom I love, and how can I, when I am in the dark about them? His Father said, But it is not so with Me. No darkness hideth them from Me. Even if thou canst not tell Me what should be done, I know it. The son feared lest he should forget to pray for some whom: he greatly wished to remember. His Father told him to use common little things as reminders of them. Nothing was too small to be used: "Let the thought of thy friend take wing. It will fly like a homing bird to Me." The son was glad and grateful about that, but he had a desire to be with his friends, especially in their hours of sorrow and of joy. His Father said, Think of My two angels, On the day of thy Saviour’s Ascension were they among the company that wel­comed Him Home?

I could trust them to do My will else­where.

88 THERE WILL NOT BE THE TORMENT OF UNCERTAINTY The son thought of one who seemed to be needed in two places at the same time. Whatever the decision, part of himself must be rent. But most racking of all was the torment of uncertainty. His Father said, Would an earthly father leave a willing child in doubt about his wishes? How much less would thy heavenly Father do so unkind a thing? Must the decision be made to-day? Then there shall be a sign from Me to-day. Can the matter be deferred? Then there shall be a going on in quietness. Before action must be taken, I will cause some­thing to happen which will show the way of My choice. Though part of himself be rent, there will be peace which not even that rending can hurt. There will not be the torment of uncertainty. And the son recalled the peaceful story of the Cloud. Whether it were two days, or a month, or a year, that the Cloud tarried, the people journeyed not: but when it was taken up, they journeyed.

89 THE LORD BE BETWEEN ME AND THEE The thoughts of the son ran thus: Many friendships are weakening. Perhaps it is better to hold aloof from close friend­ship and to be content with friendliness. His Father said, The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself even to his sword and to his bow and to his girdle. He went to David into the wood and strengthened his hands in God. "Go in peace," he said on another day, for both of them had sworn saying, "The Lord be between me and thee." And David rose and departed: and Jonathan went into the city. So the son learned that if only the Lord Himself be the golden bond between heart and heart, all is well. A faithful friend is the medicine of life; and they that fear the Lord shall find him. And together they shall strive for undefiled rewards.

90 SALUTE APELLES The son thought of many who were living for themselves, travelling here and there for pleasure, spending time and wealth upon personal delights. And he seldom saw them troubled. Life flowed on like a placid stream for them. But others who were pouring out all they possessed in the service of their Lord were perpetually assaulted, and very sorely tried. As he pondered this matter his Father spoke to him saying, Why should one be assaulted who is fighting no battle, and why should one be tried in whom is nothing to be proved?

Salute Apelles, approved in Christ, (that tested man in Christ). One day thou shalt salute him. Salute him now. The end of that man is peace.

91 WINDOWS OF AGATE The son was grieved because of the dust­-storm that had whirled round one of the Lord’s Apelles, and the hurricanes that had swept upon another. Long ago he had ceased to ask that any of the Order of Apelles might be kept from trial; he only asked for strength that they should be fortified. But he was grieved. His Father showed him that by suffering is wrought stedfastness, and stedfastness is the proof of soundness, and from this proof riseth hope, hope that maketh not ashamed. Accept this by faith, said his Father. And the son remembered the metal mirrors of old which he had seen in an Eastern land; nothing was quite clearly reflected. Now we see in a mirror, darkly; we walk by faith, not by sight. We look at life, not through windows of crystal but through windows of agate; and the purest agate is not perfectly transparent.

92 THE COURAGE OF THE LOVE OF THE LORD The son saw Apelles in the light of a figure of the true: Everything that may abide the fire, ye shall make it go through the fire; and all that abideth not the fire ye shall make go through the water. He who knew all men and needed not that any should testify of man, because He knew what was in man, knew what could abide the fire, and what could not abide the fire but could abide the water. He Himself knew what He would do with each of His Apelles; and without Him was not anything done that was done, so that Apelles might be approved in Christ. And the son wondered not only at the wisdom and the tenderness, but also at the courage of the love of the Lord.

93 IS NOT THAT WORTH WHILE? The son said, I think of the pain of life that is perpetual for so many who live to serve their fellows. Is it all worth while? His Father said, Those who serve their generation are like the sailors that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters. But it is these, not those who play in the shallows, who see the works of the Lord and His wonders in the deep. Is not that worth while?

94 THE HIGHEST TRUST THAT CAN BE CONFERRED ON MAN The son thought of some who received abundant supplies for their work in answer to prayer, while others, though equally prayerful, were often in straits. The meaning of this matter was opened to him thus: Those who receive abundantly have many sharp tests which are secrets between them and their Lord. The world knows nothing of them. The appointed way for them to show forth His glory is simply to tell out His goodness, and use His gifts as those who must give account. But to the others, another and a special charge is given. No angel ever received so delicate a charge. For, strengthened by the Spirit in the inner man, as they show forth the peace of God amid adverse circumstances, their fellows watch and wonder at His grace. The Unseen Beings of the Heavenly Places watch also, and adore. To be trusted to live, strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, unto all patience and long suffering with joyfulness, giving thanks unto the Father, is the highest trust that can be conferred on man.