01.03. Consequences of Dowry

Consequences of Dowry

It is the law of life that what we choose to do has inescapable consequences. Let us see how the dowry system in India has reaped dire consequences, particularly having heartbreaking impact upon women. i) The practice of dowry has demeaned the value of a woman in our society. To have a daughter means to lose money and material goods, but to have a son translates to gaining more. Since the world weighs everything materially, women have come to be considered less valuable to the parents than sons. The joy of the birth of a girl child is lost by the immediate realization of added responsibility of the father to start storing up wealth for her dowry. And the pressure and price of dowry payment are even higher if the girl is physically unappealing or has some physical disability. ii) Most families prefer a male child either because they can capitalise on him to bring in dowry or to prevent the giving of it. Unfortunately, the wife is held accountable and faces a lot of disgrace and mistreatment by her husband and in-laws, if the baby conceived is not male (though the XY chromosome that determines the baby’s sex comes from the husband and he is to be held accountable, if at all). iii) Probably the most depraved consequences are female feticide (abortion of female babies in the mother’s womb) and infanticide (killing an infant). Research points out that dowry is a direct cause for these horrible crimes. Because of atrocities like female feticide, the government issued the law in 1996 banning pre-natal sex determination (baby gender determination test) through ultrasound. Though the law prevents gender determination of the baby in the womb, greed and fear make people ignore it and deny life. O, how many unborn and born female babies are killed only to avoid the pressure of paying dowry for marriage! iv) Numerous married women are undergoing mental harassment and physical abuse in our society today because of insufficient payment of dowry by their parents. Due to this, some women attempt to commit suicide or be ruthlessly killed by their husbands and/or in-laws who lust for dowry. It is a sad statistical commentary of our times that 18 women are killed everyday in India because of dowry. (The Week, Vol. 24, No. 31, July 2, 2006, pg. 4) v) The huge debts that a bride’s family undertakes in order to pay for the dowry thrusts them into severe financial crisis and depression. Many women’s marriages have also been delayed because their parents could not store up sufficient dowry. Even worse, there are women who have remained unmarried just because their parents cannot afford to pay dowry, leading some of them to commit suicide. vi) A number of marriage negotiations break down if there is no consensus between the families on dowry. Besides, in many instances, the boy is compelled to reluctantly marry the girl only because her family agreed to offer more dowry. You see, dowry has become a main factor in determining marriage proposals, not the consensus of boy and girl who are getting married for life. Groom’s families are well known to seek alliances that offer a better bargain. I came to know of a failed marriage alliance because the dowry negotiation was not up to the expectations. Ironically, these were Christian parties and the mediator was none other than pastor himself. vii) One of the reasons for youth to commit suicide in India is due to rejection of love-affair by their parents. They are forced or manipulated to marry someone of parents’ choice. While there may be reasons that are valid for the rejection of love-affair by parents, in most cases they appear to be invalid. How? Either the girlfriend or boyfriend does not belong to the same caste or the parents will lose to get exorbitant dowry if their boy marries a girl whom he loves, for more dowry can be bargained in an arranged marriage.