After excusing myself from this [i]personally[/i] with the sense of it being all a bit too much tinkering with complexity... Pardon the foolish interruption and forgive if this is previously covered territory ...
Paul's wretched man and ...
[i]I find then a [b]law[/b], that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.[/i] Rom 7:21
Taking this as something of a center piece and all the surrounding expression, the tall note seems to be one of "[b]I do[/b]"
For the good that I would [b]I do not[/b]: but the evil which I would not, [b]that I do[/b].
Caught on that Ron brought back up my past musing of his past expression of "There is just 'you'" and if memory serves it was from the conference series of messages on Justification, Redemption etc. "Aurora" I believe it was called?
What gripped me at the time as a consideration was the perspective of taking the 'blame' aspect out of the 'will'. In part, the "you" or better as Ron further clarified, "Thou" as perfectly expressed by Nathan to David '... [i]are (art) the man[/i]' became the translation, "Me".
I am the man, I am the responsible person that has done all these things, [i]I have sinned against Thee and done this evil in Thy sight[/i].
From that all the proscriptions of 'predestination', of 'who is choosing whom' and in what capacity of responsibility, God's foreknowledge and the seemingly contradictory aspects of...
Joh 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that [u]whosoever[/u] believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life...
Met up with,
Isa 45:9 Woe unto him that striveth with his Maker! Let the potsherd strive with the potsherds of the earth. Shall the clay say to him that fashioneth it, What makest thou? or thy work, He hath no hands?
And, or ...
Rom 9:13 Even as it is written, Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.
Rom 9:14 What shall we say then? Is there unrighteousness with God? God forbid.
Rom 9:15 For he saith to Moses, I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.
Rom 9:16 So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that hath mercy.
Rom 9:17 For the scripture saith unto Pharaoh, For this very purpose did I raise thee up, that I might show in thee my power, and that my name might be published abroad in all the earth.
Rom 9:18 So then he hath mercy on whom he will, and whom he will be hardeneth.
Rom 9:19 Thou wilt say then unto me, Why doth he still find fault? For who withstandeth his will?
Rom 9:20 Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why didst thou make me thus?
Rom 9:21 Or hath not the potter a right over the clay, from the same lump to make one part a vessel unto honor, and another unto dishonor?
[b]What shall we say then?[/b]
Indeed!
Something about the attempts to unravel great mysteries and put them into terms that human beings can understand makes me feel similar to Ron's expression; [i]Uncomfortable[/i].
Going back to Paul's earlier "[b]law[/b]" and unless I am entirely mistaken the denotation is of something [i]fixed[/i]... There is more "I do's" in there than a mass wedding ceremony. No wonder at the end of it all he cries both [i]wretched[/i] and ...
[i][b]who[/b][/i] shall deliver me out of the body of this death? and if at his wit's end the epitome of "[b]I do not know[/b]", the only thing left and with that rapturous perplexity mingled with joy...
Rom 7:25 [b]I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord.[/b]!
Not to leave any loose ends on the whole matter this caveout...
[i]So then [b]I[/b] of [u]myself[/u] with the mind, indeed, serve the [u]law[/u] of God; but with the flesh the [u]law[/u] of sin.[/i]
Let me go on to more of this layman's foolishness.
The past week or so, this undergirding of things, held off somewhat from a great apprehension of the fact, but more 'behind the scenes', that 'knowing' that the saint's recognize of being guarded if you will, garrisoned about, 'kept' by the Holy Spirit's keeping. [i]Abiding[/i], "I am the Vine, ye are ...". It is 'both' (pardon all the quotation marks it's a bumbling expression here)... Both a clinging to the cross and a compelling to do so. Dependence, faith, trust, abiding ... [i][b]apart[/b][/i] from
[b]ME[/b] you can do ...
Nothing.
How the heart, the soul, the deep reservoirs of this created [i]being[/i], it's 'willer' and it's 'knower', it's perplexities and complexities, circumstances and exhaustions spiritually, physically, even emotionally somewhat. Chambers is exacting in that we are not simple beings after all but highly complex, created with great capacity for learning and growing and destroying and killing ...[i]mentally[/i] as our Lord came and exposed as the root of the whole matter which has it's footings entrenched in the ... heart (scripturally). [i]Wretched[/i]! "Depraved" what better words are there? That damnable "[u]Law[/u] of sin"...
And so it was for these days of being 'kept' that the abandoning was easy or 'easier', prayer becoming practically of a silent sort, a drawing sense of being still even if the breathing changes, this drawing out of things unknown and un-articulated, groanings in the Spirit. "What am I praying here?" Came to mind ... "Thou knowest"
There was the sweet carry over of being 'careless' that Chambers also has made great mention of, [i]carefully careless of everything save that of Jesus Christ[/i] (paraphrased).
Then after a bit, there is that settling in, the 'law of sin' that is always snapping at the heels whether it's recognized or not. Just a little drift away from [i]abiding[/i], a little thought here, a little temptation there, cast down when it's recognized for the lie that it is... But it's as if it leaves some residue behind, waiting for an opportune time. A distraction, a diversion ... Even the dreams tweaked with, awaken to thought's of all the so called 'injustice' that is being done to "me" and in that sleepy state of things, I agree! The thing is true, why look at thus and so and what about this thing and remember how so and so [i]said[/i] ... and then the dawning revelation that I am listening to the devil himself! (Or is it the 'devil inside'?) Poor wretched soul, where is thy sympathy? Where is my self importance, do they not know how much [b]I[/b] have done for their ungrateful, heathen hearts and all they can do is heap their little criticisms and pile on even more responsibility ....
And so it goes.
Saint's, there is just so much more than we know.
So many profound questions that seem locked up into God's thought that we are attempting to crack the code on. Why a 32 year long 'altar call' in this silly man's estimation? Why of all things a guitar player for the 'notorious' Ozzy Osbourne to be my ultimate undoing with the simplicity of, "Sweet Jesus, where did I go?" Why did God Himself hunt me down like a lion and yet rather than pouncing on me and shredding me to pieces, in effect wanted to lick my face? Why did He Himself encompass me for what seems to be a number of years in hindsight where everywhere I turned He was there? Drawing and persuading, changing circumstances, convicting and expressing in mysterious way's His great sovereignty, His great [i]love[/i] and I, like the demons themselves could only utter, [i]What have I to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of the most high God? I adjure thee by God, that thou torment me not.[/i]...
Relentless! Chosen? "Predestined"? Responsible?
Ah, I do not know.
Thou knowest.