Re-marriage?

Mother and father have been divorced for almost 20 years. Dad remarried and still living for the devil. Mom may be considering it all of a sudden, she is living for the Lord. My question is would this be o.k. scripturally to remarry if my dad is still alive? This has troubled me the last few days because mom wants me to meet this guy she has been seeing. In the last 20 years this is a first time she has actually been interested in somebody enough to want me to meet them. Any advice?

Brother Craig

I believe this is a very good teaching on this subject.

[url=http://www.shepherdserve.org/dmm/dmm_13.htm]Divorce and Remarriage[/url]

God Bless

TJ

Bro. Craig,

Why not try prayer, the Word, and the Holy Spirit
as teacher, which He was sent to do. I do not say
this lightly or in a non caring spirit.

Asking man for advice is just that, the opinion of man. This is to important an issue to depend
on mans opinion.
Ask the Lord, He will not lead you astray.

Praying with you,

pastorfrin

Interestingly, you are having some doubts about the rightness of this...can you imagine why this is so?

Blessings,
ginnyrose

Not saying this to be a smart aleck, but how about just reading the Bible? It all has to go back to God's Word.

Jordan

I’m sure Paul pointed Timothy to the scriptures when he had questions, but I also think he gave his advice and help as well.

Just my 2 cents

TJ

I believe the scriptures are perfectly clear that if someone is to remarry while their spouse is still alive, it is adultery. Whether they are a Christian or not, it is still sin.

You have only to read the scriptures and it will tell you the same thing.

You see, God does not view marriage as the world does.

The world views marriage as the contract that was signed. Easily burned or rewritten, no harm done.

God views marriage as happening from the point of intimacy onward. It is a spiritual and physical bond between a man and a woman. It is only done away with by death.

Paul gives very good advice concerning these things.

I believe the scriptures are perfectly clear that if someone is to remarry while their spouse is still alive, it is adultery. Whether they are a Christian or not, it is still sin.

I agree, Ben.

But what about the exception in Matthew 19:9?

The only exception in Matthew 19:9 is that if the other person commits adultery during the relationship, then you are free to divorce them and marry another.

However, Jesus makes it plain that divorce was not God's way in Matthew 19:6, and again in 19:8

Jesus is teaching His disciples that it would be better not to marry, than to marry.

Which is the same thing Paul says in Corinthians.

Quote:
Interestingly, you are having some doubts about the rightness of this...can you imagine why this is so?

Blessings,
ginnyrose

Thanks, Ginnyrose. Enough said. I will search the Word for further convictions.

Craig

All of these opinions and suggestions...WOW!

What are you to do...or think?

I strongly suggest prayer....talking to God about it...and not just "talking" but listening.

We so often don't listen to His voice.

I wish I had the one answer for you.

My best suggestion...TALK TO GOD...AND LISTEN.

Forget all of us.

Mark

If she was saved before the divorce (which you indicate she was not) then is all depends on why they got divorced. Paul said if the unsaved person wants to stay, let them. If they want to go, let them. The believer is no longer bound to them. But you indicate such was not the case, so it is a moot point.

Krispy,
She was a christian before the divorce. That is how the Lord is leading me, like you say, she is no longer bound to him since he left her. And for everybody else Dad did commit adultry while still married to my mom.
Craig

First off... if your mom hasn't asked your advice, meet the guy and keep your mouth shut.

Wow, Krispy. You know I like ya, but that is real harsh. Are you saying that we should STIFLE a possible conviction that may in fact be from the LORD, just to keep peace? That doesn't sound like you at all in regards to other "doctrinal" issues........

;-)

But what about the exception in Matthew 19:9?
Probably the bottom line is that its between your mother and the Lord. If she is wrong in thinking to remarry then He will have to show her. Express your concerns by all means but if she isn't receptive than leave it - trying to convince by argument only causes resistance and bad feeling.

I dont' believe Mt. 19:9 is permission to remarry. I believe the disciple's reaction is evidence of Jesus' strictness concerning the use of marriage. I believe Jesus and Paul both taught that marriage (covenant marriage) is for life, whether one marries an unbeliever, believer, etc.

Rom. 7:2-3 and I Cor. 7:39 make is very clear that those who interpret Mt. 19:9 as allowing for a remarriage while having a living spouse are in essence saying it is ok with the Lord to commit adultery. Paul was very clear in Rom. 7:2-3, though it wasn't an indepth teaching, that adultery does NOT dissolve the marital bond, only death does. When a covenant spouse dies, THEN one is free to be joined with another. If it happens before that time, they WILL BE CALLED an adulteress/adulterer (the adultery being on ongoing sin). Because Paul reaffirmed this truth in I Cor. 7:39, Rom. 7:2-3 does not stand alone nor leave open the door for varying interpretations, in my opinion.

Ps..wanted to add, I agree with you about voicing one's concerns and what to do afterwards. I'm not quite sure how being "silent" and never speaking one's convictions is a biblical thing to do if one's convictions are truly something the Lord has given.

My mom knows my beliefs on this and is ok with them. She also knows that I could never attend a wedding if she so chose to marry again, nor would I be able to look upon that union as "blessed" of God and not as an adulterous union..........because of how I view the scriptures. With that said, I know I can't MAKE someone see as I do. If what I believe is truth, and someone really desires to know Truth, it will ultimately be the Holy Spirit that opens one's eyes up---just as He did for me on this topic. He may send "messengers" along the way, but the messengers do not have the power to MAKE one see. All each of us can do is share what we believe with others and then leave the revelation of truth that changes lives to the Lord.

:-)

It is, i think, very easy to prove that adultery does not end the marriage bond. Consider Lu 16.18. A man divorces his innocent wife to marry his secretary. Jesus says that sex within this second marriage is adultery. So Jesus says plainly that adultery is now occurring. The modern teaching is that this ends the marriage bond so the woman is free to remarry. But Jesus says that if the innocent women remarries she also is guilty of adultery. Obviously the marriage bond is still in place otherwise it couldn't be adultery.

The same logic can be used in Mt 5 and Mt 19. So we have our 'three witnesses' if you will.

A person's salvation state has nothing to do with marriage, divorce and remarriage. Does God join non-Christians together when they are married? If He does then they are bound for life. If He doesn't then non-Christian marriages are just legalised fornication. And so they would need to get remarried when they get saved. Marriage is not a Christian institution. It is a heavenly institution that will last forever. We humans simply have to abide by the rules of the eternal institution. The consequences seem incredible severe if we get this wrong. Adulterers do not inherit the kingdom of God. I dont know where it places those who have been remarried while the previous spouse lives. But I would have to be a little nervous given Jesus teaching that sex in a second marriage is adultery.

This article describes it very well.
[url=https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=14367&post_id=120626&order=1&viewmode=flat&pid=0&forum=35#120626]John Piper postion paper.[/url]

Krispy,

First off... if your mom hasn't asked your advice, meet the guy and keep your mouth shut.

I don't worry too much about telling people what they should or should not do... unless they ask me.

Yes, yes! Listen to Krispy! God can handle the man better than you can. Meanwhile, get to know him.

“ …in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not to your own interests but also to the interest of others.” Phil. 2:4

Diane

Even if someone is divorced and remarries before they are saved, wouldnt they then have to REPENT of the adultry they are living in as fruit of their salvation when they do come to the Lord. Think about that.

Wouldn't that cause another divorce, which God says He hates? (Malachi 2:16).

Myself, I am divorced. Both my former husband and I were at fault for the breakdown of the marriage, and, even though I knew the truth of God's word (in my mind at least), I fought tooth and nail to marry this man, against all Godly advice from family and friends, well-knowing that it was wrong. I sinned, bottom line - I have asked God's forgiveness and I have also repented. I was unequally yoked, I knew it, I chose the flesh over the spirit and disaster ensued.

I have had two people whom I consider to be men of God and solid preachers of the Word, tell me that a loving God will not subject me to a life of singlehood if my desire is to be re-married, but I must seek Him first and let Him choose the man that he probably originally intended for me had I not been so stubborn and wandered away from the Light and the Truth and the Way, Christ Jesus.

Do I believe these men in light of what I read in Scripture? No. I believe that there are consequences to sin (Ezekiel talks alot about that), especially for those of us who know better. Do I have faith that God can do whatever He wants to in my life in order to make me more fruitful for Him? Yes, and I welcome that and anticipate much pruning and reproof in the coming years. He sees the future, He has ordered my steps already, I leave everything in His hands. But the Word is our yardstick for what is right and wrong, I am at the point where if I don't find it in the Word, can't reconcile it with Scripture, it's not of God. Call me radical, but that's where I'm at.

I currently have no desire to re-marry, my only desire is to grow in God, learn more about Him, to serve Him fully and completely according to His Word, to use the gifts He's given me so that His Glory may be known to all, to reach out to others who don't know Him and to be a blessing through Him to everyone who crosses my path. I have fleshly desires but they mostly include healing of my body, getting back to work and having a safe place to live with my beagles.

Anyways, just thought I'd weigh in with some personal observations on this issue.

Diedtoself, I would pray, pray, pray, maybe even fast as well if you can, and see God's face for your mom and the decision she is about to take. It is beyond your control but you can stand in the gap and plead on her behalf to our Saviour that He will show her the right way and not cause anything to come between her and God. Nothing is impossible with God. Blessings to you and your mom.

Mia and Bailey, Dugan, Buddy & Agnes the beagles.

mom23beagles,

It's funny this thread made it back on today. For this morning my wife and I were discussing this issue again as well and how we want our convictions to change when someone we love is partaking in a controversal subject. This morning we considered the facts of the fruit of my moms life the past few years. Her steady move away from the Lord is evident. Her seeking of self approval is blatant in her expression of self. In another words she has become selfish in her own desires and wants and has backslidden in many areas. These areas seem benificial to ones self and may even seem right to an onlooker but the motives are all wrong. I desperately pray now for her to come out of her backslidden state and repent and seek the Lord once more.

I CAN NOT believe that people, many of whom I normally respect and agree with, would tell someone its ok to let their mother enter into an adulterous relationship without having 100% sound scriptural backing.

Tell someone it's OKAY ?!... My goodness! No one here, I hope!

.. to LET someone?. or not LET someone... ?

Just how much freedom or power does anyone have to rule another life?

What might be the best ways for this concerned son to to effect the lives of his parents and their partners - for Christ? How might they be drawn to the springs of living water?

Diane