CJF wrote:I have always been fascinated with ‘black’ Southern Baptist churches. Their enthusiasm and zeal in their preaching and praise has appealed to this ‘midwestern white gal’.
I always wanted to be a fly on the wall in one of their churches so that I might be able to observe and take in without distracting.
Alas, that isn’t possible.
So my husband and I, in our search for a new church home, decided to visit one such congregation.
Much to my dismay, we were a distraction.
They tolerated us for about three weeks, and then asked outright what we were doing there and what did we want.
I think they wanted to be able to have an environment where they could speak freely about the oppression that they still experience from the white community and we made that difficult for them. More’s the pity, but our goal was not to be a distraction.
Carol
Greetings Carol,
ummmmm, I am not exactly sure what to say, except that I am sure your heart was in the right place, but I am not quite sure you did it for ALL the right reasons.
I grew up with many black friends and since that was the case, I was already comfortable and familiar with their culture.
I understand what you mean when you said that you were 'fascinated' with their church, but it seems that you were more interested with being that 'fly on the wall' then actually being part of the congregation (i am just going by your post).
They are not zoos, or museums. You can not just 'observe or take-in' any church without being a distraction, no matter what color you are. That would be like having a dead body sitting at the back of the church and having no one notice.
You said, "alas, that isn't possible", well, my experience says that it is and if you are going to base one experience on your ability to 'take part' of a 'black baptist' church, then sister, you are deeply mistaken.
You also said that they 'tolerated' you for about three weeks. Is it at all possible that you 'tolerated' them for that time? Just a thought... AND... what was your response the their questions? (what we were doing there and what did we want??)
"I think they wanted to be able to have an environment where they could speak freely about the oppression that they still experience from the white community and we made that difficult for them."
Oh dear God, sister....I have no idea about your particular experience, but this SCREAMS racism and/or bigotry. Those are strong words, but...
"More’s the pity, but our goal was not to be a distraction." I am not sure what you mean by this, but I am sure I do not agree.
"I love what that brother said to you, BrianMira, “we are brothers of a different mother, but the same father.” Amen to that!"
I did say that, but my brother and I lived that way. We were not just paying lip service.
Carol, I am not trying to be hard on you, however, MY intent was not to 'see the people'. I was there trying to find Jesus.
First, I believe God led me there. The other reasons are a far second, but also significant. I was in search of truth about God. I did not want to sit in 'an all white' church' where everyone was comfortable and 'happy' in their way of life. I wanted the stone hard truth.
When I played football in university, I remember as a freshmen, the rookies had to stand up on a table in the huge mealhall and sing a song. This was before I became a christian and when I stood up, I felt so alone and scared, but I still wanted to sing and do well enough to be received. Many people did horrible, but I did not do too badly, however, I will always remember a fellow 'black' teamate said that I 'need some soul'. That gave me another reason to search for a 'soul/spirit' filled church, so one with a choir seemed resonable.
A few years after university, my life was heading downward quickly. After a 'revelation' at World Youth Day 2002, I went back home in search for a 'spirit/soul' filled church with a choir. I asked and looked around. As a limo driver, one day I talked to my customer about my WYD2002 experience, which was very very common for me by that time, he suggested that maybe I go to his mother's church...he was black. I believe God put him in my car that day.
I did not go right away, but within a few weeks my life was near disaster, so I walked in with cocane in my system, along with every other type of evil. See, I was not trying to be entertained, I was trying to be saved.
They welcomed me with loving open arms. I know some people were suspicious at first, but after some time, people realized that I only wanted truth. Some even asked me why I was there and what I wanted... face-to-face and in my testimony in front of them all, I said, I needed 'soul' and I thought this would be the best place for me. They laughed but understood the truth behind my words.
They knew my heart and intentions, because I did not hide them. For the first few weeks, I cried and cried and cried and cried. So there was no time to observe. I wanted to sing, but it took so long to get the tears out (I am yet to have had the real opportunity to do so).
For two years, I went to that church, before moving here, to Korea. Before I left, they offered me a job, invited me into the choir, and I was a member of the men's brotherhood. My pastor retired to become a professor...at the same college that I was accepted into this week!!!
My wedding will be held there in the baptist church on July 7th. They love me and I love them. We are family. It makes me cry...now
:cry: ... to remember how welcoming they were to a wrenched and wicked soul like me. I miss them terribly and I know they miss me, too.
Carol, I do not think that after I left they said, "wheeeew, now that that white guy is gone, lets sit around and talk about white oppression."
I believe your heart is good, but I went there on my own, with my own good intentions. You and your husband went together. Are you sure that both of you were on the same 'yellow pages'? He may have been following your fascination, which led to a sense of inner misunderstanding and unintentional discrimination.
Carol, do not get me wrong. I strongly suggest that you keep searching, because I know it was the greatest thing for me. One day, I will preach there. In the meantime, my prayers are with them. I do not just want to be a fly on the wall, I need to be the member of the truth in Christ.
Anyway...I love you, Carol.
God Bless those that see the heart of the matter,
BrianMira