I Am Not Saved

Please pray

Praying for you, brother.

"But [b]Christ[/b] being come an high priest of good things to come, by a greater and more perfect tabernacle, not made with hands, that is to say, not of this building;

12 Neither by the blood of goats and calves, but by his own blood he entered in once into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption for us.

13 For if the blood of bulls and of goats, and the ashes of an heifer sprinkling the unclean, sanctifieth to the purifying of the flesh:

14 [b]How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?"[/b]
Hebrews 9:11-13

Look to JESUS!

Richard, perhaps it would be of your best interest to share with us exactly what is the trouble. I remember saying those words AFTER I gave my heart to the LORD because I lived under a cloud of condemnation and did not understand the fulness of the salvation message.

Perhaps you are in the same situation. Where you've fallen into some ugly sin that you feel terrible for committing, and the weight of condemnation is so much that you feel unsaved.

If that is the case, oh do I know what you mean by that, and many can share in the same experience. Your in good hands here, because we have many stories to tell.

But look up my friend and simply ask the LORD Jesus to forgive you of your sins and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness.

God is your Father and He is not some ogre waiting behind a door ready to club you for doing wrong. Actually it's quite the opposite, Christ Jesus took all the clubbing on the cross for us in our stead that we might have a wonderful relationship with our heavenly Father.

God Bless, we love you with an everlasting love. ;-)

Richard, perhaps it would be of your best interest to share with us exactly what is the trouble.

I believe in God, but I do not know if I believe in God. I believe Christ died for my sins, but I do not know if I believe that Christ died for my sins. I believe that I have accepted His work on the cross so that I might be free from punishment, yet I do not know if I believe that I have accepted His work on the cross so that I might be free.

There are truly evil thoughts in my heart. I have never had peace about anything. I feel dead and cold. I have so many questions to ask of myself, that I cannot answer because I do not know. How will I ever know? Do I believe in God? Do I even love Him? Have I been forgiven? Will I ever love God? Will I ever understand?

I believe in God's sovereignty - if He does not accept someone as a son then He does not accept someone as a son. There is no discussion.

I will not rely on feelings and emotions to know if God has accepted me, if Christ is my Saviour, and yet I cannot weight myself up against His Word because I do not know the answers to the questions that it asks of me.

Just a drop in the ocean.

Richard,

have you seen a doctor about your depression? if not, do so. many people suffer depression without knowing it and there is help available.

bub

yes, indeed Help does come from Jesus. but if a person is depressed, he may not be able to respond. personally, i have dealt with depression since about 10 yrs old. i take St John's wart everyday and, low and behold, it works. it's a gift from God!!

if i don't take it, my attitude goes through the floor, and i have no desire for worshipping, or praising God because the world seems sooooooooo hopeless. so i have some understanding of what Richard is going through. Been there, done that.

bub

Whatever you do, DON'T go to a doctor. That's the worst advice I've ever heard. Bubbyguy, the fruit of the Holy Spirit is peace and joy, and when somebody gets saved, they receive God's peace and joy, and peace and joy are the opposite of depression, which means it cannot stay.

[u]To the one seeking salvation, I am led to post something I read by A.W. Pink, commenting on John 3:14 I would recommend you read (and Pink, too believed in the sovereingty of God). Especially read towards the end:[/u]

"And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up" (John 3:14). Christ had been speaking to Nicodemus about the imperative necessity of the new birth. By nature man is dead in trespasses and sins, and in order to obtain life he must be born again. The new birth is the impartation of Divine life, eternal life, but for this to be bestowed on men, the Son of man must be lifted up. Life could come only out of death. The sacrificial work of Christ is the basis of the Spirit’s operations and the ground of God’s gift of eternal life. Observe that Christ here speaks of the lifting up of the Son of man, for atonement could be made only by One in the nature of him who sinned, and only as Man was God’s Son capable of taking upon Him the penalty resting on the sinner. No doubt there was a specific reason why Christ should here refer to His sacrificial death as a "lifting up." The Jews were looking for a Messiah who should be lifted up, but elevated in a manner altogether different from what the Lord here mentions. They expected Him to be elevated to the throne of David, but before this He must be lifted up upon the Cross of shame, enduring the judgment of God upon His people’s sin.

To illustrate the character, the meaning, and the purpose of His death, the Lord here refers to the well-known incident in Israel’s wilderness wanderings which is recorded in Numbers 21. Israel was murmuring against the Lord, and He sent fiery serpents among the people, which bit them so that some of the people died and many others were sorely wounded from their poisonous bites. In consequence, they confessed they had sinned, and cried unto Moses for relief. He, in turn, cried unto God, and the Lord bade him make a serpent of brass, fix it on a pole, and tell the bitten Israelites to look to it in faith and they should be healed. All of this was a striking foreshadowing of Christ being lifted up on the Cross in order that He might save, through the look of faith, those who were dying from sin. The type is a remarkable one and worthy of our closest study.

A "serpent" was a most appropriate figure of that deadly and destructive power, the origin of which the Scriptures teach us to trace to the Serpent, whose "seed" sinners are declared to be. The poison of the serpent’s bite, which vitiates the entire system of its victim, and from the fatal effects of which there was no deliverance, save that which God provided, strikingly exhibited the awful nature and consequences of sin. The remedy which God provided was the exhibition of the destroyer destroyed. Why was not one of the actual serpents spiked by Moses to the pole? Ah, that would have marred the type: that would have pictured judgment executed on the sinner himself; and, worse still, would have misrepresented our sinless Substitute. In the type chosen there was the likeness of a serpent, not an actual serpent, but a piece of brass made like one. So, the One who is the sinners Savior was sent "in the likeness of sin’s flesh" (Rom. 8:3, Gk.), and God "made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him" (2 Cor. 5:21).

But how could a serpent fitly typify the Holy One of God? This is the very last thing of all we had supposed could, with any propriety, be a figure of Him. True, the "serpent" did not, could not, typify Him in His essential character, and perfect life. The brazen serpent only foreshadowed Christ as He was "lifted up." The lifting up manifestly pointed to the Cross. What was the "serpent?" It was the reminder and emblem of the curse. It was through the agency of that old Serpent, the Devil, that our first parents were seduced, and brought under the curse of a Holy God. And on the cross, dear reader, the holy One of God, incarnate, was made a curse for us. We would not dare make such an assertion, did not Scripture itself expressly affirm it. In Galatians 3:13 we are told, "Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us." There was no flaw, then, in the type. The foreshadowing was perfect. A "serpent" was the only thing in all nature which could accurately prefigure the crucified Savior made a curse for us.

But why a "serpent" of brass? That only brings out once more the perfect accuracy of the type. "Brass" speaks of two things. In the symbolism of Scripture brass is the emblem of Divine judgment. The brazen altar illustrates this truth, for on it the sacrificial animals were slain, and upon it descended the con suming fire from heaven. Again; in Deuteronomy 28, the Lord declared unto Israel, that if they would not hearken unto His voice and do His commandments (verse 15), that His curse should come upon them (verse 16), and as a part of the Divine judgment with which they should be visited, He warned them, "Thy heaven that is above thy head shall be brass" (verse 23). Once more, in Revelation 1, where Christ is seen as Judge, inspecting the seven churches we are told, "His feet were like fine brass" (verse 15). The "serpent," then, spoke of the curse which sin entailed; the "brass" told of God’s judgment falling on the One made sin for us. But there is another thought suggested by the brass. Brass is harder than iron, or silver or gold. It told, then, of Christ’s mighty strength, which was able to endure the awful judgment which fell upon Him—a mere creature, though sinless, would have been utterly consumed.

From what has been said, it will be evident that when God told Moses to make a serpent of brass, fix it upon a pole, and bid the bitten Israelites look on it and they should live, that He was preaching to them the Gospel of His grace. We would now point out seven things which these Israelites were not bidden to do.

1. They were not told to manufacture some ointment as the means of healing their wounds. Doubtless, that would have seemed much more reasonable to them. But it would have destroyed the type. The religious doctors of the day are busy inventing spiritual lotions, but they effect no cures. Those who seek spiritual relief by such means are like the poor woman mentioned in the Gospel: she "suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse" (Mark 5:26).

2. They were not told to minister to others who were wounded, in order to get relief for themselves. This, too, would have appealed to their sentiments as being more practical and more desirable than gazing at a pole, yet in fact it had been most impracticable. Of what use would it be for one to jump into deep water to rescue a drowning man if he could not swim a stroke himself! How then can one who is dying and unable to deliver himself, help others in a similar state. And yet there are many today engaged in works of charity with the vain expectation that giving relief to others will counteract the deadly virus of sin which is at work in their own souls.

3. They were not told to fight the serpents. If some of our moderns had been present that day they would have urged Moses to organize a Society for the Extermination of Serpents! But of what use had that been to those who were already bitten and dying? Had each stricken one killed a thousand serpents they would still have died. And what does all this fighting sin amount to! True, it affords an outlet for the energy of the flesh; but all these crusades against intemperance, profanity and vice, have not improved society any, nor have they brought a single sinner one step nearer to Christ.

4. They were not told to make an offering to the serpent on the pole. God did not ask any payment from them in return for their healing. No, indeed. Grace ceases to be grace if any price is paid for what it brings. But how frequently is the Gospel perverted at this very point! Not long ago the writer preached on human depravity, addressing himself exclusively to the unsaved. He sought by God’s help to show the unbeliever the terribleness of his state and how desperate was his need of a Savior to deliver him from the wrath to come. As we took our seat, the pastor of the church rose and announced an irrelevant hymn and then urged everybody present to "re-consecrate themselves to God." Poor man! That was the best he knew. But what pitiful blindness! Other preachers are asking their hearers to "Give their hearts to Jesus"- another miserable perversion. God does not ask the sinner to give anything, but to Receive His Christ.

5. They were not told to pray to the serpent. Many evangelists urge their hearers to go to the mourners bench or penitent form" and there plead with God for pardoning mercy, and if they are dead in earnest they are led to believe that God has heard them for their much speaking. If these "seekers after a better life" believe what the preacher has told them, namely, that they have "prayed through" and have now "got forgiveness," they feel happy, and for a while continue treading the clean side of the Broad Road with a light heart; but the almost invariable consequence is that their last state is worse than the first. O dear reader, do not make the fatal mistake of substituting prayer for faith in Christ.

6. They were told not to look at Moses. They had been looking to Moses, and urging him to cry to God on their behalf; and when God responded, He took their eyes from off Moses, and commanded them to look at the brazen serpent. Moses was the Law-giver, and how many today are looking to him for salvation. They are trusting in their own imperfect obedience to God’s commandments to take them to heaven. In other words, they are depending on their own works. But Scripture says emphatically, "Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us" (Titus 3:5). The Law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ, and Christ alone can save.

7. They were not told to look at their wounds. Some think they need to be more occupied with the work of examining their own wicked hearts in order to promote that degree of repentance which they deem a necessary qualification for salvation. But as well attempt to produce heat by looking, at the snow, or light by peering into the darkness, as seek salvation by looking to self for it. To be occupied with myself is only to be taken up with that which God has condemned, and which already has the sentence of death written upon it. But, it may be asked, "Ought I not to have that godly sorrow which worketh repentance before I trust in Christ?" Certainly not. You cannot have a godly sorrow till you are a godly person, and you cannot be a godly person until you have submitted yourself to God and obeyed Him by believing in Christ. Faith is the beginning of all godliness.

We have developed the seven points above with the purpose of exposing some of the wiles by which the Enemy is deceiving a multitude of souls. It is greatly to be feared that there are many in our churches today who sincerely think they are Christians, but who are sincerely mistaken. Believing that I am a millionaire will not make me one; and believing that I am saved, when I am not, will not save me. The Devil is well pleased if he can get the awakened sinner to look at anything rather than Christ—good works, repentance, feelings, resolutions, baptism, anything so long as it is not Christ Himself.

Turning now from the negative to the positive side, let us consider, though it must be briefly, one or two points in the type itself. First, Moses was commanded by God to make a serpent of brass—it was of the Lord’s providing—and the spiritual significance of this we have already looked at. Second, Moses was commanded to fix this brazen serpent upon a pole. Thus was the Divine remedy publicly exhibited so that all Israel might look on it and be healed. Third, the Lord’s promise was that "it shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it, shall live" (Num. 21:8). Thus, not only did God here give a foreshadowing of the means by which salvation was to be brought out for sinners, but also the manner in which the sinner obtains an interest in that salvation, namely, by looking away from himself to the Divinely appointed object of faith, even to the Lord Jesus Christ. How blessed this was: the brazen serpent was "lifted up" so that those who were too weak to crawl up to the pole itself, and perhaps too far gone to even raise their voices in supplication could, nevertheless, lift up their eyes in simple faith in God’s promise and be healed.

Just as the bitten Israelites were healed by a look of faith, so the sinner may be saved by looking to Christ by faith. Saving faith is not some difficult and meritorious work which man must perform so as to give him a claim upon God for the blessing of salvation. It is not on account of our faith that God saves us, but it is through the means of our faith. It is in believing we are saved. It is like saying to a starving man, He that eats of this food shall be relieved from the pangs of hunger, and be refreshed and strengthened. Eating is no meritorious performance, but, from the nature of things, eating is the indispensable means of relieving hunger. To say that when a man believes he shall be saved, is just to say that the guiltiest of the guilty, and the vilest of the vile, is welcome to salvation, if he will but receive it in the only way in which, from the nature of the case, it can be received, namely, by personal faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, which means believing what God has recorded concerning His Son in the Holy Scriptures. The moment a sinner does that he is saved, just as God said to Moses, "It shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it, shall live."

"Every one that is bitten." No matter how many times he may have been bitten; no matter how far the poison had advanced in its progress toward a fatal issue, if he but looked he should "live." Such is the Gospel declaration: "whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." There is no exception. The vilest wretch on the face of the earth, the most degraded and despised, the most miserable and wretched of all human kind, who believes in Christ shall be saved by Him with an everlasting salvation. Not sin but unbelief can bar the sinner’s way to the Savior. It is possible that some of the Israelites who heard of the Divinely appointed remedy made light of it; it may be that some of them cherished wicked doubts as to the possibility of them obtaining any relief by looking at a brazen serpent; some may have hoped for recovery by the use of ordinary means; no matter, if these things were true of them, and later they found the disease gaining on them, and then they lifted up a believing eye to the Divinely erected standard, they too were healed. And should these lines be read by one who has long procrastinated, who has continued for many long years in a course of stout-hearted unbelief and impenitence, nevertheless, the marvelous grace of our God declares to you, that "whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." It is still the "accepted time"; it is still "the day of salvation." Believe now, and thou shalt be saved.

Man became a lost sinner by a look, for the first thing recorded of Eve in connection with the fall of our first parents is that "The woman saw that the tree was good for food" (Gen. 3:6) In like manner, the lost sinner is saved by a look. The Christian life begins by looking: "Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I am God, and there is none else" (Isa. 45:22). The Christian life continues by looking: "let us run with patience the race which is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of faith" (Heb. 12:2). And at the end of the Christian life we "re still to be looking for Christ: "For our conversation (citizenship) is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ" (Phil. 3:20). From first to last, the one thing required is looking at God’s Son.

But perhaps right here the troubled and trembling sinner will voice his last difficulty—"Sir, I do not know that I am looking in the correct way." Dear friend, God does not ask you to look at your look, but at Christ. In that great crowd of bitten Israelites of old there were some with young eyes and some with old eyes that looked at the serpent; there were some with clear vision and some with dim vision; there were some who had a full view of the serpent by reason of their nearness to the uplifted type of Christ; and there were, most probably, others who could scarcely see it because of their great distance from the pole, but the Divine record is "It shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it, shall live." And so it is today. The Lord Jesus says, "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." He does not define the method or the manner of coming, and even if the poor sinner comes groping, stumbling, falling, yet if only he will "come" there is a warm welcome for him. So it is in our text: it is "whosoever believeth"—nothing is said about the strength or the intelligence of the belief, for it is not the character or degree of faith that saves, but Christ Himself. Faith is simply the eye of the soul that looks off unto the Lord Jesus, Do not rest, then, on your faith, but on the Savior Himself.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16). Christ had just made mention of His death, and had affirmed that the Cross was an imperative necessity; it was not "the Son of man shall be lifted up," but "the Son of man must be lifted up." There was no other alternative. If the claims of God’s throne were to be met, if the demands of justice were to be satisfied, if the sin was to be put away, it could only be by some sinless One being punished in the stead of those who should be saved. The righteousness of God required this: the Son of man must be lifted up.

(Taken from A.W. Pink's "Exposition of the Gospel of John")

Richard,

Here is a short Paul Washer video that I believe is straight from heaven. Please watch it and I will pray for you too. Listen to Paul Washers advice and read what brother Josef has posted before me.

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4axy22oTkA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4axy22oTkA[/url]

-Jim

Richard, OK, don't go to see a doctor in Mexico. (if its the worst advice he has ever heard, they must have very bad doctors there.)

Jesus CAN and will heal your soul. But YOU have to take care of your physical wellbeing. and depression, which i believe you are clearly experiencing, is primarily a physical, not spiritual, disease. when you are free of it, the world will seem a much more livable place and the presence of a Loving God in your life much more a reality.

If you were fat, would they tell you, oh go ahead, eat alllll you want? Just pray to Jesus and He will take your big belly away.

Well, there really is no difference between being depressed and being fat. both are physical conditions that can ruin your life, no matter how much you pray. this is because God gave us abilities and brains. either exercise them or lose them, and what the other posters advising you against doctors are REALLY saying is you can ignore the gifts that God has given you and everything will be OK as long as you pray.

they don't have to live with depression. you do.

bub

richardf wrote:

Richard, perhaps it would be of your best interest to share with us exactly what is the trouble.

I believe in God, but I do not know if I believe in God. I believe Christ died for my sins, but I do not know if I believe that Christ died for my sins. I believe that I have accepted His work on the cross so that I might be free from punishment, yet I do not know if I believe that I have accepted His work on the cross so that I might be free.

There are truly evil thoughts in my heart. I have never had peace about anything. I feel dead and cold. I have so many questions to ask of myself, that I cannot answer because I do not know. How will I ever know? Do I believe in God? Do I even love Him? Have I been forgiven? Will I ever love God? Will I ever understand?

I believe in God's sovereignty - if He does not accept someone as a son then He does not accept someone as a son. There is no discussion.

I will not rely on feelings and emotions to know if God has accepted me, if Christ is my Saviour, and yet I cannot weight myself up against His Word because I do not know the answers to the questions that it asks of me.

Just a drop in the ocean.

Throw all your doubts away. The enemy will give you all kinds of doubts. God is not the author of confusion but of peace. We must come to God by faith and just believe that if you have asked for forgiveness He has forgiven you. All God sees when He sees you is the blood of Jesus. The first step is just in trusting Him and I am confident He will reveal Himself more and more to you in His time. He will never forsake you.

The reason I tell you to throw all your doubts away is because unbelief is from the enemy. Resist the devil and he will flee from you draw nigh to God and He will draw nigh to you. That's a promise.

James 4:6-8
6But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

7Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

8Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.

There are truly evil thoughts in my heart. I have never had peace about anything. I feel dead and cold. I have so many questions to ask of myself, that I cannot answer because I do not know. How will I ever know? Do I believe in God? Do I even love Him? Have I been forgiven? Will I ever love God? Will I ever understand?

The fact of the matter is your going to have to somehow resist the thought of not believing in God. Look at those negative thoughts as the enemy coming against your soul. We are engaged in a warfare and I am sure you know this. However, your weak right now and the devil knows this, so he is taking advantage of your weakness. But remember too, when we are weak then am I strong. Even though Satan goes about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour, God too seeks for someone that He may be strong on behalf of their weakness. So your in good company since the LORD is on your side, and since He is, who can be against you? Not even your heart that is condemning you, because God is greater than your heart.

So be of good courage our big brother Jesus has over come the world the flesh and the devil and he calls you and I more than a conquerer.

Richard it takes faith to believe these things and I know I was where you are at. You do have faith to believe because you took the time to post your initial posting saying, "Please Pray". That speaks volumes to me. It's saying that you do believe that God does answer prayer and this is your way of crying out. Bless God. As a body thats what were here for, and you can be sure that people are praying for you that your faith fail not.

How will I ever know? Do I believe in God? Do I even love Him? Have I been forgiven? Will I ever love God? Will I ever understand?

Your not just a drop from the Ocean, you've been caught from the Sea. I used to think that way too, but it's a waste of time thinking that way. Believe the gospel and trust in Jesus and you can't go wrong. Yes there will be times of uncertainly and doubt, but they are fleeting moments in time because of the circumstances that surrounds us.

The promises of God are yea and amen to them that believe.

Saint lets pray that Richard be given the courage to believe the gospel, that his faith be renewed. I do not believe that he is being doubled minded, but that he is discouraged about somethings.

P.S. Avoid the advice of going to see a doctor for depression. A Pastor told me that once when I told him my problems, but I shrugged his suggestion off, I went to Doctor Jesus and He has been my constant friend and help in my time of need. God Bless.

Richard said

Richard, perhaps it would be of your best interest to share with us exactly what is the trouble.

[i]I believe in God, but I do not know if I believe in God. I believe Christ died for my sins, but I do not know if I believe that Christ died for my sins. I believe that I have accepted His work on the cross so that I might be free from punishment, yet I do not know if I believe that I have accepted His work on the cross so that I might be free.

There are truly evil thoughts in my heart. I have never had peace about anything. I feel dead and cold. I have so many questions to ask of myself, that I cannot answer because I do not know. How will I ever know? Do I believe in God? Do I even love Him? Have I been forgiven? Will I ever love God? Will I ever understand?

I believe in God's sovereignty - if He does not accept someone as a son then He does not accept someone as a son. There is no discussion.

I will not rely on feelings and emotions to know if God has accepted me, if Christ is my Saviour, and yet I cannot weight myself up against His Word because I do not know the answers to the questions that it asks of me.

Just a drop in the ocean.[/i]

_______________________________________________________________________

Dear Richard,

The way you have set out these opposing statements, makes me think feel you are being opposed (as wallbuilder suggested) by the thoughts of our adversary, the devil. That simple.

I have a question, which you don't need to answer publicly, but I will post, with the spiritual solution, here. The question is: have you ever consciously toyed with the idea that God does not exist? (Alternative ways to consider this question might be: were you taught evolution at school? Do you watch\\have you watched movies with inappropriate content? (These could be anything from sci-fi\\alien content to explicit immorality.) Perhaps you did not initiate such thoughts\\behaviour, but an older person with some authority over you (eg teacher, parent, brother\\sister, babysitter, friend's family) brought these things to you while you were too young to make an informed consent, or, reject them in a mature way. In other words, you were vulnerable due to your youth, and didn't know you were being misled\\misdirected. Or, it was all your own bright idea to toy [u]in your mind[/u] with whether He exists or not. You may have done this so as to try to enjoy sin a little longer.

Let me show you something, which I first noticed in the Old Testament, namely, that praise and worship of God were not necessarily related to [i]feeling[/i] like it. Simply, God would say 'praise Me', and He expected them to do it in simple obedience - [u]and that [i]pleased[/i] Him[/u].

Now, bring this thought to the New Testament, and read from Romans 1:

20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world [u]are clearly seen[/u], [b]being understood by the things that are made[/b], [i]even[/i] his eternal power and Godhead; [u]so that[/u] [b]they are without excuse[/b]:
21 [u]Because[/u] that, when they knew God, [u]they glorified[/u] [i]him[/i] [u]not as [b]God[/b][/u], neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

(There really is no way round the honesty with which God expects us to deal with Him. He is Truth, remember. To gain the knowledge of Him, you have to let go of the knowledge of godless living which you already have. If you've done your best with repentance, then you simply must start believing that [u][i][b]He[/i][/b] is going to keep [i][b]His[/b][/i] word[/u].)

Here's a remedy. (I'm going to assume what I'm sharing is relevant, even if it's not the whole answer. This is part of my testimony, so I know it works.)

Hebrews 12
1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset [i]us[/i], and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of [i]our[/i] faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Within the Hebrew letter, 'the sin which doth so easily beset us' is [u]unbelief[/u]. (Think about this. We've just had in chapter 11, a list of people who obtained salvation through faith [i]without[/i] having been baptized in the Spirit\\born again.) Thus, if these thoughts are relevant to you at all, you should consider [i]repenting from unbelief[/i] no matter how dead and cold you feel.

Those feelings (dead and cold) are appropriate for a Christian whose heart is really still enthralled with sin. God makes us so we really do [i]understand[/i] we are sinning our way to eternal death (unnecessarily).

The next problem is that you don't have any sense of [i]knowing[/i] that you believe what you're supposed to believe, and you're not necessarily sure [i]you[/i] believe. Here is where Jesus comes to the rescue. You can ask Him to [u]give[/u] you 'faith' - like... a dollop of faith; that is, [i][b]His faith[/i][/b], knowing that [u]His faith[/u] [i]believes perfectly[/i].

You can adopt His faith as your faith for everything you need it to bring you, including your salvation (which of course it did), meaning not only your Salvation, but the outworking of 'salvation' it day by day.

You have to receive this as a [u]key[/u] - like the unlocking of a door which otherwise doesn't yield no matter how much you push it in your own strength, (or maze, in which you are lost), and then you have to keep holding on to [u]His[/u] faith[u]fulness[/u], until you finally begin to be sure of your ground in Him for yourself.

If you want to know how long I leant on this method for my deliverance and salvation, I'll try to work it out for you, but... it wasn't anything short like a year or two, it ran beyond two decades, I believe.

Mark 11:22
And Jesus answering saith unto them, 'Have faith in God'.

For 'have faith in God' read 'hold the faithfulness of God'.

Now... think about what it means to hold something. You have to keep gripping it, or you can't be described as 'holding' it, because it will fall to the ground.

At the same time, though, you need to know these verses also, in which [u]God[/u] is holding [i][b]you[/b][/i], and will not let you\\anyone who believes [i]fall to the ground[/i].

Deuteronomy 33:27
The eternal God [i]is thy[/i] refuge, and underneath [are] the everlasting arms: and he shall thrust out the enemy from before thee; and shall say, 'Destroy' [i]them[/i].

Remember, this is what happens when we begin to believe God enough to embrace the cross (death\\Jordan), and drive out the enemies from the terrain of our life. He goes before for us (as He went before us into death), and all we have to do is possess the land of promise.

Isaiah 49:16
Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of [i]my[/i] hands;
thy walls [i]are[/i] continually before me.

I know this was a lot of writing, but the concepts are simple.

God bless you as you keep grappling for that prized touch from Himself.

EDIT: I should have said something more.... Please pray simply, that the Lord will come and heal your mind, so you are able to see what He wants you to see, and hear His word to you, and give you peace in your head as well as your heart.

"I remember one day in Shanghai I was talking with a brother who was very exercised concerning his spiritual state. He said, 'So many are living beautiful, saintly lives. I am ashamed of myself. I call myself a Christian and yet when I compare myself with others I feel I am not one at all. I want to know this crucified life, this resurrection life, but I do not know it and see no way of getting there.' Another brother was with us, and the two of us had been talking for two hours or so, trying to get the man to see that he could not have anything apart from Christ, but without success. Said our friend, 'the best thing a man can do is to pray.' 'But if God has already given you everything, what do you need to pray for?' we asked. 'He hasn't', the man replied, 'for I am still losing my temper, still failing constantly; so I must pray more.' 'Well', we said, 'do you get what you pray for?' 'I am sorry to say that I do not get anything', he replied. We tried to point out that, just as he had done nothing for his justification, so he need do nothing for his sanctification.

Just then a third brother, much used of the Lord, came in and joined us. There was a thermos flask on the table, and this brother picked it up and said, 'What is this?' 'A thermos flask.' 'Well, you just imagine for a moment that this thermos flask can pray, and that it starts praying something like this: "Lord, I want very much to be a thermos flask. Wilt Thou make me to be a thermos flask? Lord, give me grace to become a thermos flask. Do please make me one!" What will you say?' 'I do not think even a thermos flask would be so silly,' our friend replied. 'It would be nonsense to pray like that; it is a thermos flask!' Then my brother said, 'You are doing the same thing. God in times past has already included you in Christ. When He died, you died; when He lived, you lived. Now today you cannot say, "I want to die; I want to be crucified; I want to have resurrection life." The Lord simply looks at you and says, "You are dead! You have new life!" All your praying is just as absurd as that of the thermos flask. You do not need to pray to the Lord for anything; you merely need your eyes opened to see that He has done it all.'

That is the point. We need not work to die, we need not wait to die, we are dead. We only need to recognize what the Lord has already done and to praise Him for it. Light dawned for that man. With tears in his eyes he said, 'Lord, I praise Thee that Thou hast already included me in Christ. All that is His is mine!' Revelation had come and faith had something to lay hold of; and if you could have met that brother later on, what a change you would have found!..."

-Watchman Nee

Yesterday I was thinking about grace, in particular Ephesians 2:

1 As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins,
2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient.
3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath.
4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy,
5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—[b]it is by grace you have been saved[/b].
6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus,
7 [b]in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.
8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—
9 not by works, so that no one can boast[/b].
10 For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Is it really this simple? Grace is unmeritable, not for sale, cannot be worked for. Can I really come to Jesus and accept His grace? With nothing that I can or ever will be able to do? And He will be faithful? No matter how I feel?

richardf wrote:
Yesterday I was thinking about grace, in particular Ephesians 2:

1 As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins,
2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient.
3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath.
4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy,
5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—[b]it is by grace you have been saved[/b].
6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus,
7 [b]in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.
8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—
9 not by works, so that no one can boast[/b].
10 For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Is it really this simple? Grace is unmeritable, not for sale, cannot be worked for. Can I really come to Jesus and accept His grace? With nothing that I can or ever will be able to do? And He will be faithful? No matter how I feel?

That's the only way you can come by faith alone.

I was just thinking today about what I quoted here yesterday:

"I remember one day in Shanghai I was talking with a brother who was very exercised concerning his spiritual state. He said, 'So many are living beautiful, saintly lives. I am ashamed of myself. I call myself a Christian and yet when I compare myself with others I feel I am not one at all. I want to know this crucified life, this resurrection life, but I do not know it and see no way of getting there.' Another brother was with us, and the two of us had been talking for two hours or so, trying to get the man to see that he could not have anything apart from Christ, but without success. Said our friend, 'the best thing a man can do is to pray.' 'But if God has already given you everything, what do you need to pray for?' we asked. 'He hasn't', the man replied, 'for I am still losing my temper, still failing constantly; so I must pray more.' 'Well', we said, 'do you get what you pray for?' 'I am sorry to say that I do not get anything', he replied. We tried to point out that, just as he had done nothing for his justification, so he need do nothing for his sanctification.

Just then a third brother, much used of the Lord, came in and joined us. There was a thermos flask on the table, and this brother picked it up and said, 'What is this?' 'A thermos flask.' 'Well, you just imagine for a moment that this thermos flask can pray, and that it starts praying something like this: "Lord, I want very much to be a thermos flask. Wilt Thou make me to be a thermos flask? Lord, give me grace to become a thermos flask. Do please make me one!" What will you say?' 'I do not think even a thermos flask would be so silly,' our friend replied. 'It would be nonsense to pray like that; it is a thermos flask!' Then my brother said, 'You are doing the same thing. God in times past has already included you in Christ. When He died, you died; when He lived, you lived. Now today you cannot say, "I want to die; I want to be crucified; I want to have resurrection life." The Lord simply looks at you and says, "You are dead! You have new life!" All your praying is just as absurd as that of the thermos flask. You do not need to pray to the Lord for anything; you merely need your eyes opened to see that He has done it all.'

That is the point. We need not work to die, we need not wait to die, we are dead. We only need to recognize what the Lord has already done and to praise Him for it. Light dawned for that man. With tears in his eyes he said, 'Lord, I praise Thee that Thou hast already included me in Christ. All that is His is mine!' Revelation had come and faith had something to lay hold of; and if you could have met that brother later on, what a change you would have found!..."

-Watchman Nee

Christians do not always have overwhelming joy and peace. Actually more like just the opposite atlest half the time.

2 Corinthians 4:7-9
7But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

8We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

9Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

So we can't go by our feelings but by faith in God alone. If you have asked for forgiveness and put your faith and trust in the finished work on calvary than you are saved. If you sin again just ask God for forgiveness, keep your eyes on Jesus and just keep walking. Praying for you.

Is it really this simple? Grace is unmeritable, not for sale, cannot be worked for. Can I really come to Jesus and accept His grace? With nothing that I can or ever will be able to do? And He will be faithful? No matter how I feel?

The grace of God is the most misunderstood gift of God to mankind, yet it's the most profound because mankind cannot understand it. Thats why men heap to themselves teachers having itching ears to try to draw up a scheme so that they can 'earn' their salvation through works.

The moment we believe the Gospel and receive Jesus Christ by faith, we instantly are made righteous. There is not a thing that you can do to make yourself more righteous.

If you have been on the road of a 'works' based gospel I can understand your doubt and unbelief. There is no faith in the law, because the law made no one perfect, but the bringing in of a new covenant did.

Welcome Richard to the true road of righteousness which is by grace through faith. Study the Grace of God which Jesus offers by faith.

God Bless