MJones,
Thank you for this. You never know how the things that are shared here can be so effectual to others. This is not really the place but my work just let go of about 25% of it's workforce yesterday, my thoughts are reeling somewhat, added responsibilities and so forth- but really the timing, the relationships over the years and their predicaments now overshadow everything ... It is all very sobering.
Maybe my want of contribution is in practicality - How all this is so far beyond me -To say that something like a 'mere website' could have such a profound impact ... it sounds hyperbolic, exaggerated but in truth it is all very much so.
It's redundant but here goes in Reader Digest format - Caught up in the likes of Benny Hinn and WOF - Became concerned after hearing the likes of John MacArthur, the Bible Answer Man and others - Sent backwards towards the classics by a dear, dear lady - Not positive but it may have been Pilgrims Progress - Heard Chip Ingram talk about this guy named A.W. Tozer as took excerpts from his book [i]Knowledge of the Holy[/i] of which he keeps a copy in his briefcase and reads through every year ... I got a hold of it ... and it got a hold of me. Turned everything right side out, finally that something elusive that my heart was desiring and longing after. The thought occurred to me one day, "Wouldn't it be tremendous if someone had his old sermons somewhere ....."
That day that I clicked on the link to SermonIndex and it unfolded before me ... [i]Goldmine![/i]- I can recall my response, the thrill and chill that ran through me, I gasped at what I knew somehow deep down was something very tremendous and powerful. Oh I praised God with tears - Thank you, thank you Lord. It is difficult to articulate everything but there was at the time still a lot of foreboding and suspicion coming from where I then was. As a very recently mentioned post has suggested coming out from a construct where you feel hoodwinked and basically lied to - Who to believe?
All that just added to the profundity, bewilderment and joy at this discovery. To say that all this has changed my life seems, awkward and clumsy almost silly, like a sales pitch. It is all fortunately and practically true however you want to slice it. Challenged to the core - The feet are held to the fire by these men of old and by those sharing both their knowledge and experience - By a thousand failings and who knows how many prayers. All these things have and continue to shape that most important part of us inside - [i]character[/i], the summarization of our disposition. It has made me even more so a student of the [i]heart[/i] and of the thoughts that run rip-shod through this curious melon of mine.
Just collectively it is a wonder. That so many seemingly different expressions, to me at least largely are saying the same thing. Living with this tension where others might see opposing constructs, perspectives of certain aspects of the faith - I want to say that it is both accidental and on purpose. Paradox! Has it ever occurred to anyone that maybe, just perhaps the Lord left some things in scripture ... [i]difficult to understand[/i] as Paul put it for the very reason of seeing how we might react to each other in reasoning about them? It is my curious suspicion ...
I think for some, if you knew the half of it, just how this all came to be and how it continues on, it might surprise you. It is still very grass roots and to embarrass Greg here a bit - He is a tremendous soul, a very simple man with profound, spiritual ... insight, patience and faith. I know that it is very far beyond him and to say that this is all the Lords doing, well again the awkwardness of that kind of statement - Yet the truth of it nevertheless.
I could wax on here eloquently for many a long day. It's vast and far reaching. It's a oasis in the desert, a way through - A tree with many branches - Even what is here links out to other things, other sites that carry about more of all the old dead guys as we often used to put it. Great books, great saints, great writings.
On that practical level though- These things get down into your marrow, they seep into the pores and latch on to the thoughts all throughout the day. For me, it has greatly altered my perspective and hopefully given me a greater deal of patience, something that I had a serious lack of prior. It's in everything - Work. Home. Family. And prayer ... Oh the lessons here, mighty, tremendous things on praying. It's vast people, penetrating matters of soul and spirit, if you are diligent to delve into the bowels of SI.
Ultimately it is making God [i]great[/i], highly esteemed and Jesus - [i]Lord[/i], King - [i]The Lords testimony[/i].
Those here that have contributed over the years, many that I have had the pleasure of meeting face to face - They are what they write and vis a versa - No guile and really no surprises at all, as if they are known from the foundations of the world - There is a real truth in that which is frankly impossible to articulate - It must be that very witness of the Spirit, where we 'know' intuitively each other like no other people on the face of this planet, even without words, just being in the presence of each other .. Mighty, tremendous matters.
I could easily go on and on and on ... Like that has every stopped me before.
MJones, again. Thank you for this. The world is heavy and a burden, full of confusion and striving - difficulties and responsibilities. To be able to come here in the fellowship of the saints at the end of the day or at the inception of the morning, find some manna and carry on again ... It is beyond my articulation and appreciation.