I really do not know what is going on at all, my heart has become so hard, it seems the more i pray the harder it gets. I mean look at all the saints on here who have prayed with me but my heart is getting hard, i have tried to figure out what i am doing wrong and nothing really seems serious at all except that i am married to an unbeliever and stopped going to church on sundays. I still go to bible studies on fridays, home bible studies twice a week but when i go to church on sundays i usually feel worst and don't know why i bother, i can study and worship at home, which i don't worship and i only study. I stopped hanging out with my 24/7 christian friend because he is the real deal and i feel so uncomfortable around him because he is joyous and he asks me how is your walk with the lord today and all i can say is not good , i don't even know if the lord is with me at all. He asks me what i read in scripture but most of the time i read small amount of scripture. He reaads an epistle a day and just loves the lord so much. But i decided to stop hanging out with him because i was being fake around him and i knew it. My heart was hard around him to, so it wasn't that. I dids ask if he wasn't going to take me back then to just let me go and that is what he is doing, so maybe i am done with. I am desperate, if anybody gets a revelation from the holy spirit for me tell me please. If you know deliverance of evil spirits that would help too because i might have them. I know for sure i have a spirit of lust, a lying spirit, a spirit of unbelief and a spirit of depression.Please pray for me.
prayer for hardened heart again
Dear brother,
Your suffering is hard, I hear it in your posts. I share very much of the same suffering as you. Although we're not afflicted physically with outward torture like the martyr's, the inward affliction can sometimes be worst because it seems like it will never end. I pray for you brother. I wish the Lord would save you from your sufferings.
Jesus asked for his suffering to be removed but the Lord didn't remove it. My brother, maybe it's like the apostle Paul wrote, that this affliction you suffer works an eternal weight of glory. Like the Lord Jesus, when He died, his suffering was over and who can imagine the relief He felt? He entered into paradise.
You too, share in His sufferings. If the Lord doesn't take away your sufferings in this life, what if He'll take them away in the next? God will allow you to go through death possibly before ever finding relief (as did the Lord Jesus). Brother, have faith in Him. Just know that when you die, your relief has come. This is the greatest thing to ever believe! He loves you so much! He won't let you perish my dear friend. Believe this. The gospel is that Christ was punished for you. Believe this. God won't deceive you. He'll take care of your soul.
Though reason, people, the devil, even Scripture itself, say that your damned and there's no hope, or you must do such and such to find relief, don't believe them! Tell them, "You liars! Deceivers of my soul! I will hope in my God who caused His Son to be slain for me." Believe this with all your heart. When Scripture says that with the heart a man believes, it says that, not to show you how to believe but rather to show you the fight, that it must take all of your strength to hope beyond what you see around you. You must believe deep down within your soul that despite your sins in this world, the ones you did today and the ones you'll do tomorrow, Christ is punished for them.
Ephesians 6v16,"Above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one."
The enemy doesn't have to do much other than to get us to doubt and mistrust what the word of God says.
And it works, which is why he uses it.
You speak of having several evil spirits. How do you know you have evil spirits? What makes you believe that?
You say prayer is getting harder. It was never meant to be easy. Prayer is work. However, we are not to pray according to our emotions, but trust in God and His word in spite of our emotions.
I don't always 'feel' like God has heard me, but I know He has. He said so.
James 4v8, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you, Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded."
If God says He will draw near to us, then He will.
He did not say we will feel, see or hear anything, but He is near.
Separating yourself from other believer isn't going to help either. It will only weaken you, and you know it.
In the book of Acts we see that the early church met on a regular basis. So don't neglect being with other believers.
You seem to be looking for an easy way out. Seem to be, I don't know.
But all this deliverance and evil spirits business seems a bit extreme. It can happen, but I don't think this is the case with you.
But, whatever you do, keep praying and reading the word. God knows.
God bless.
Was just wondering, how are things going?
I have been trying to seek God for mercy and i feel like i am having a battlefied in my mind trying to believe the gospel, i know i need his spirit and grace, i want to be saved. I listened to the sermon by charles leiter called supersticious faith, it hit my heart strongly but still i am not saved so i will seek again.
Have you listened to this series of sermons by A.W. Tozer?
Attributes of God (Series 2): Introduction[i] by A.W. Tozer
Brother, I had a battle in my mind for over three decades. Don't quit yet!i am having a battlefied in my mind trying to believe the gospel,
No i haven't listened the tozer sermons, our they good?
I have been quite desperate as of late when it comes to my salvation or lack there of so I decided to call Charles Leiter who is located in Missouri. It was a great privilege to talk to him. He is very humble and kind and understanding and he went through my testimony and broke it down right through the main parts and asked me specific questions. It was definitely good in helping me find out if i was saved or not. I think i am not after the talk not because he said i wasn't but going through scripture and putting my salvation experience and growth compared to real ones i would very much assume that i am not. It was just a blessing to talk to him and here from someone who knows scripture very much. I need to seek after christ. I finally understand the gospel so i need to cry out for mercy, if i am saved God will let me know.
Why has salvation become so hard? I can understand finding a balance between it being easy and it being hard. We've made it so easy that almost every is saved it seems but on the same token, we've made it extremely difficult that it's almost impossible to know your saved unless your some super saint or something.
What ever happen to the thief of the cross? He simply asked the Lord to remember him and the Lord gave Him a word to believe. If the Lord let that wicked man into heaven, why wouldn't He let me or you? Yes there will be many that say Lord Lord but who told you that you'd be one of them? If you believe in Christ, why will you perish? For your sins that you haven't repented of? Oh, comon! If we can't gain heaven by our works, neither can we lose it by them.
I've tried with all my heart to be saved but it hasn't ever happened. The only thing I can do now is trust in the Lord with all my heart. All I can do is believe that I'll be saved like the thief on the cross. If I don't figure it out before I come to die, my only hope will be a death bed salvation. At least I can be saved on my death bed, if not in this life. At least the thief on the cross was. Anyone that wants to take that passage away from providing comfort or salvation to anyone, you should go tie a rock around your ankles and jump into the sea.
Seriously, explain to my why the thief on the cross is going is saved but you aren't? EXPLAIN THAT PLEASE, I BEG YOU!
Honestly, do you think JEsus said, "Today you'll be with me in paradise" ONLY to the thief on the cross? That word is for you man! Tell me why you won't believe it? TEll me what you think that word is for? Just that poor old sinner hanging on the cross? Just to let you hear a nice story that has no relation to you? God would let you drown in death and then into hell even though you have the thief hanging their perishing? Comon
Brother i have sought to be saved just like that too but i never stay faithful , i start doubting again and nothing changes within me, i think sometimes the lord saves on his own time. I understand it shouldn't be that hard, but then why isn't the lord doing that for me, or why isn't he helping me with my faith, you know i have begged for better faith and mercy.
Hey Bible4life
Just a thought, maybe approach things from a different way. Think about all that Jesus has done for you, read the Bible and just really shut everything else for a time and seek to "know" Him as a person who loves and wants to have a personal relationship with you. Spend time learning to love the Lord with "all" your mind, body, heart, and strength. Knowing Him and realizing that your sin crucified Him may help to soften your heart. Don't think about what you are going through, understand how your sin grieves Him and what it put Him through. Take the focus off of self. In the end though, God is not going to force Himself on you, either you want to know Him, to submit your life unto Him or you don't? Sometimes you write as if its Gods fault your not saved and that is just not true, so if the enemy is causing you to think this way, Repent. might be a first step in a journey that lasts an eternity.
with care
rdg
Hi bible4life,
rdg makes some good points, particularly the general one about looking away from yourself (Heb 12:2).
I am searching on SI for old threads about the difference between conversion and regeneration, and I came upon this excellent post by philologos. He said:
[i]'1. Repentance as an event takes place before regeneration.
Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. (Act 2:38 KJV)
2. Repentance as a disposition takes place after regeneration.
I will also save you from all your uncleannesses: and I will call for the corn, and will increase it, and lay no famine upon you. And I will multiply the fruit of the tree, and the increase of the field, that ye shall receive no more reproach of famine among the heathen. Then shall ye remember your own evil ways, and your doings that were not good, and shall lothe yourselves in your own sight for your iniquities and for your abominations. (Eze 36:29-31 KJV)
It may be that the friend's pastor is of 'reformed persuasion'. Calvinists generally believe that everything begins with regeneration, and that a person cannot repent until they are born again. I DO NOT believe this but it may well account for the some of the confusion?'
I think Paul Washer would agree with him.
hi, i praise God for you and your post for it reeks with remorse and sorrow for your condition. peter walked out on Jesus and denied Him and went back to fishing for a living.just because you are not religeous or mr. goody 2 shoes does not mean that the same savior who went after peter and cooked lunch on a fire for their fellowship isn't after you. Thank God that Jesus is the savior and not you or i.you need to realize that Jesus loves you personnally even when you are a jerk like me.labor to enter into rest in the finished work of the cross where He died for you and payed the full price for your sin. His strength is made PERFECT in our weakness. dont try to buffalo Him with christian mumbo jumbo and tell him to take you just like you are and do whatever He wants with you,and He will.jimp ...i love you and will see you in glory.
No one without the Holy Spirit would ever, ever confess the things you do about the condition of your own heart. You do see yourself rightly, in one sense, but what you lack is the other half of truth that Jesus' blood and suffering have provided for you. You are under the condemnation of the devil. It is also possible that witches and sorcery are attacking you. Sometimes their power is very real.
You must believe and endure. You need your Christian friend now more than ever, along with prayer. Do not give in to your feelings or depression.
Try and find the autobiography of John Bunyan. He fought a very similar battle as you. He described the day he knew that Jesus set him free, and the devil was rebuked. Adam ran from the light."Where are you Adam?"
Everyone here that is honest would say , that at some time or another, they have ran from the light. I have. Those of us who remain a disciple, would also say that at some time we learned to take our corruption and depravity to the Father to have it removed, and be cleansed.
"Unless your righteousness EXCEED that of the Scribes and Pharisee's, you will in no way enter the Kingdom of Heaven."...Jesus.
Our testimony is Not living a holy life, but why and how we do. We are all carrying about an evil nature, that strives with the holy spirit for control. We must learn to put it to death, by the Spirit, powered by the Blood of Jesus, and the RESURRECTION of himself. We have all cried; "Who will deliver me from this body of death!"
This is your cry, at this moment. Throw yourself upon the Lord, cry out for mercy, and push into the light, and your Christian friends that care for you. Believe that this is WHY Jesus came to the Earth...with you in mind. I only survive because of this. All Christians, as yourself, are in the same fix. Seek and pursue this Peace, and do Not give up.
One more thing. As a young Christian, I too, was sure I was going to Hell, for sure, because I was consumed with lust , and unbelief. I lamented, exactly as you do now. I still wonder, at how I have made it this far. I have learned, somewhat, to trust in the blood of Jesus alone, and His righteousness, upon an absolute failure. This is why Jesus came....for weaklings...and in spite of what others may think of themselves, or say, or teach...every true Christian is but this....and that's today...not way back when.
Dear bible4life,
I agree that rainydaygirl makes a very important point, that you should focus on knowing Jesus and not on yourself and how you feel. As Paul Washer said in his sermon "The True Gospel", "It's all about God". You might want to listen to this sermon, which touches on many of your concerns at [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7X24_vOWwU]Link to The True Gospel (Paul Washer)
Also, I pasted below my response to a different thread which I pray will be helpful to you.
Copied from another thread:
---------------------------------------
If you ask any Christian if they are born again, almost all of them will say yes. But we know from scripture (Mt 7:21-23) that on the day of judgment, many who claim Jesus as their Lord and Saviour will be disappointed to learn that they will not be allowed into God's kingdom.
The truth is one does not become a born-again Christian by declaring himself to be such. Neither can the declaration of a "religious authority" like a priest, or a pastor, or an evangelist make it so. Only God is qualified to decide the matter. However, he has provided sufficient guidelines in the Bible to help us assess ourselves in this regard.
First, we must make a distinction between a professing Christian and a born-again Christian. A professing Christian is one who has turned towards God and openly acknowledges Jesus as Lord. In a sense one can say that he has faith in God... but the critical question is what kind of faith? This distinction of different levels of faith or belief is explained in the Bible in Mt 13:1-23 (Parable of the Sower) and James 2:14-26 (Faith and Deeds).
A professing Christian can be likened to a new believer who believes in God and his word, yet has not yet imbibed a sufficient understanding of scripture and God's character to experience a life change (being born again). A professing Christian is still a seeker who has not yet reached the end of his journey. A reborn Christian is one who not only believes in God and his word, but also has come to a point of understanding where he is overwhelmed by the greatness of God's love, the majesty of God's holiness, and the sinfulness and unworthiness of his own life. The reborn Christian is so moved by these things that he truly falls in love with God the the way explained by Jesus in Mt 22:36-40 "with all your heart and with all your soul and will all your mind".
I believe it is this "falling in love with God" phase that constitutes true rebirth. Of all human values, virtues, or emotions, it is love that has the power to change lives. It is love that changes one from being a "taker" (self-gratification) to being a "giver" (selflessly gratifying the object of our love). Love is what makes parents die for their children; it is what makes patriots die for their country; it is what made God give up his only son for us; it is what made Jesus die for our redemption; and it is what will make us live or die for Christ. That is why scripture says in 1Co 13:13 that love is greater than faith.
The journey from being a professing Christian to a reborn Christian depends on how well the Holy Spirit is able to lead the believer. It can take an instant, or it may take a lifetime, and sometimes the journey is never completed. As explained in the parable of the sower, if we allow ourselves to be distracted, if we lose interest, and if we fail to become deeply-rooted we could fail to complete the journey --- thus we have a situation where a "born-again" Christian appears to lose his salvation and end up in hell. The truth is he was never born-again, though he claimed to be.
I believe that a true born-again Christian --- one who has come to know God intimately, one who has fallen totally in love with God, and whose overriding goal in life is to please God and God alone --- such a one can no longer be lost (Jn 10:29).
Love is so powerful that one would seek to please his or her beloved even in the absence of rewards and even with the threat of punishments. Thus we see how the apostles and many Christians devoted themselves to serving the cause of Christ even though they suffered and died for it.
One way I try to distinguish true born-again Christians from those who have still to reach that point is to ask: Why are you a Christian? Most would answer something like: To gain eternal life; to be blessed; to become righteous before God; to be with fellow believers; to gain guidance; to get to heaven, etc. To paraphrase these responses, they are saying "I am a Christian to get something good for myself" -- still with the attitude of a "taker" but definitely moving along the right path (thank God). But those who have been transformed would answer "I am a Christian because I love God", and if pushed they would admit that they would still be Christians even without the promise of salvation, even without heaven or hell, even without the promise of blessings. These are those who would suffer and die for Christ. These are those of whom the Bible says "the world was not worthy of them". These are the ones who can never fall away --- because they are in love with God.
Rainydaygirl is right. When you focus too much on your circumstances you lose sight if Jesus. Its like when Jesus told Peter to come to him and walk on the water, his faith enabled him to do so, but soon after as he was looking to his feet then looking towards Jesus then looking towards his feet he began to lose focus(Faith) and began to sink. Jesus says,"O you of little faith, why didst thou doubt?"And so that is all of us at some point in our lives when we lose focus on the big picture which is Jesus. There is Credulous faith,Commercial Faith and Courageous Faith. We should all choose the Courageous Faith!Jesus never said it was going to be easy, if it were we would all be in Paradise with our Father. Hang in there for the long race,there is a reward for us all focus on Jesus first then other people then yourself and I promise all things will work for the will of our Father. Amen I say to you all, & peace be with you.
sometimes there may be a need to "examine ourselves" but even if you do that all your life you will only find the same as the apostle paul "in me dwells no good thing" , and i dare presume he would be considered a much holier man then both you and me, and even the great preacher Jonathan Edwards said that he saw in himself a infinite sea of infinite wickedness, when i then look at what is reported of the man outward, how much he preached, how much he prayed, studied scripture, how much God used him, still that was his own revelation of himself, but...it did not make him doubt his salvation, nor what Christ could do, and what he did, and what he was going to so.
Dont judge your spirituality and walk with God by your feelings, then you would be saved once a week sometimes, and in really hard times once a month, judge it by your honesty towards God, your longing for Christ, and to know him and what HE has done for ALL who believe.
Hi bible4life...
I posted this in the Songs with a Message thread, but I think that this same song might be your prayer too.
I am deeply moved every time I hear it. You can listen to this song by [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVgPQm06g2c]clicking here
[b]O' Lord, You're Beautiful
(original version)[i]Keith Green
[i]I listen to this song often. It has always moved my heart and draws me back into a hunger for His presence
[i]Verse
Oh Lord, you're beautiful
Your face is all I seek
And when your eyes are on this child
Your love abounds to me
Oh Lord, my body's tired
But you keep reminding me
Of many holy tireless men
Who spilled their blood for thee
[i]Chorus
I want to take your word and shine it all around
But first help me just to live it Lord
And if I'm doing well help me to never make a sound
Except to give you all the glory
[i]Verse
Oh Lord, my faith is small
And I need a touch from you
Your Book of Books
Lies undisturbed
And the prayers from me too few
Oh Lord, please light the fire
That once burned bright and clear
Replace the lamp of my first love
That's fueled with holy fear
Oh Lord, you're beautiful
Your face is all I seek
And when your eyes are on this child
Your love abounds to me.
:-)
Are you living a clean life? By that I mean lust, internet pornography, masturbation and so forth...
Often, (not always) unbelief is the result of a lifestyle of habitual sinning.
Magnus
The problem mainly with me was my first 3 years with the lord his presence was theirs always and now for the past 2 years it hasn't been their. I forsaken basically almost all of my sins besides the ones that our attacking me daily. But another problem i am having as the post says is hardening of my heart towards scripture. I start reading the Bible and especially the words of Jesus and their is an anger inside of me that i know is not me, and when i am reading all i herein my head is doubts like these our not his words or some of the stupid stuff i use to study to defend the faith satan uses in my mind like jesus never existed, see the writers copied off of one another, or see all the contradictions this can't be the word of God. That has been in my mind while reading scripture for the past 3 months and i feel like i am going crazy in my mind, i don't want to think like that but it is all in my mind. I also have lost a desire to serve and pray and sometimes fellowship and read scripture and all of this scares me and i hate it because i don't want it. I want the lord, i want to do everything he wants but without his holy spirit i am helpless. The only time i seem all into the lord is when i am drinking a cup of coffee or have energy, its just terrible. I even called charles leiter because i was that desperate. I love everything everyone is saying on here, i really do. I want it to be a reality in my life. It might be good to read that john bunyan autobiography, i would like to hear his trials. I actually have heard those paul washer sermons, they make complete sense but if it does not become a reality in my life i can't do anything about it.God bless you guys.I do not want to be wasting your guys time anymore, i hate being a nuisance, brothers and sisters just pray for me, i would be greatful for that.
i. I want to stress again: It is vital for your faith that your life is clean.. It is impossible to feel the prescence of the Lord if you are entertaining a lifestyle of sin (only you know your own heart concerning this)..
ii. Sometimes God is doing a deeper work of faith in our lives in which he leads into "the dark night of the soul". That has nothing to do with the problem of sin. It is a testing period which can last a long time.. Im saying this from experience.. When it is the right time (from God's perspective) he will manifest his presence again...
iii. From your struggle with Scripture one has to ask; isnt it enough that the Scripture is the Word of God? Does it matter that the Scripture contains contradictions (after all it is written by human vessels according to the will and purpose of God)...
Sincerely Magnus :-)
Dear bible4life,
It sounds to me like you are having a season of life that is very much common to saints. read the Psalms, and not through a victorious Christian life lens, but rather in a realization that these are REAL people who are speaking words to God that at times seem very upsetting.
I may be off here, but it sounds to me like you are seeking a "feeling" to assure you of your salvation, or you are looking internally for some evidence. Allow me to be frank, I have been through this myself and allow me to say that you will never be at peace through either of these. You may either become a Pharisee or desperate beyond hope, but assurance you will not find.
There is no mention of feelings associated with being saved in Scripture. It instead says to believe something, something that happened 2000 years ago. Actually, Christ died for you while you were a sinner, long before you were born even. Do you believe this? I am not asking how you feel about it, but do you believe that Jesus died for you?
If none of that is the case, I would ask you if you are suffering from pride. Yes pride. It is proud to say that I am sooo bad that Christ cannot save me, as if you were somehow beyond the power of the death and resurrection of Christ.
Trust me, even if you have an experience that leads you to have peace, it will fade away. There is only one way to have peace: Christ. Go to Him over and over and over. No matter how foul you feel, go to Him. Tell Satan and your feelings the truth; that there is One who has taken you and united you to Himself by even your feeble faith. Make a practice of this! Do not look within, do not look at anything but Christ.
If you can, I recommend to you a book entitled "The Pearl of Christian Comfort" and also seeking to understand the difference between Law and Gospel.
Also, start preaching the Gospel to yourself hourly in needed. Yes Christians need the Gospel too, not just to begin with, but also to go on.
I will be praying for you, and I have been where you are. Listening to sermons won't really help, unless they are focused on Christ and His work rather than the Christian and theirs.
God's grace to you friend.
The night is darkest just before dawn. You may be much closer than you think. Don't give up and don't judge yourself compared to other Christians in particular those that are the real thing. Disciples are not made overnight. The narrow road is hard and is traveled like anything in life that is worthwhile; one step at a time. Your next step is into the unknown. Trust the One that guides you.