May I ask for some prayerfully council for a young couple, is it a wasteful use of the money the Lord provides for a future husband to spend on a diamond engagement ring for his future wife? When those that are married here on SI got married did you buy a diamond for your fiancee, did you pray about it or seek the Lord about this purchase before hand?
God bless
mj
The engagement ring is a deeply symbolic gift, and I believe anybody buying one should put a lot of thought into, and spend as much as they can reasonably afford. No doubt, it is a "vanity." But, with that said, "all is vanity." And being that we all do vain things in this life, I think one should make this "vanity" really count for something.
Thank you KingJimmy for your thoughts. I will admit I am not the best person to give advice on this matter, I do not really wear any jewelry myself except a small plain gold wedding band. When my husband and I got married we already had our daughter and were very young, diamond rings were not in the budget so I am not sure I really understand the whole purpose or need for buying an engagement ring?. I do find it interesting that you mentioned that you see the ring as a vanity, but then you go on to say that it should be bought anyway. I kind of find this confusing, isn't this the same then as saying yes giving your future bride the diamond she wants is a vain thing to do, and vanity is sin but go for it anyway? How would this be giving good counsel?
Not trying to be difficult, just trying to understand your point in this?
Thank you for your time and God Bless
mj
I think you are in danger of getting into a dispute about a doubtful thing, unless you are among those who believe that the scripture forbids all wearing of gold, etc. In that case, you shouldn't even be wearing your gold band.
If you don't believe that is the point of the relevant passage of scripture on the topic, then you are talking about a doubtful thing, ie, a thing that the scripture does not address specifically.
Why then would it be a sin for someone else to wear a diamond wedding set (engagement ring with accompanying band) and it's ok for you to wear a gold band only? Do you see what happens when we try to define things the scripture doesn't define?
You couldn't afford a diamond wedding set, so it is vanity (I know you didn't actually say this; just responding as if that is the conclusion). What if you couldn't afford the 2006 minivan my wife drives? Would that make it a vanity as well?
Point is, you don't really get to define stuff the scripture doesn't define. That's not how it works. Some of us grew up in churches where anything the preacher didn't like or couldn't afford was a sin. There is no power in that kind of Christianity.
If you are advising this couple, you should focus on the issue of what they can afford, etc., and not going in debt for things such as rings, not whether something you don't personally like would be a sin.
Greeting David0228
You wrote:I think you are in danger of getting into a dispute about a doubtful thing, unless you are among those who believe that the scripture forbids all wearing of gold, etc. In that case, you shouldn't even be wearing your gold band.
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I am sorry if my post some how came across to you or towards King Jimmy that we were having or about to be in danger of a dispute. Also I will admit to my shame I do not know the Bible verse that you mentioned that forbids the wearing of gold so I do not hold to the view at this time that wearing jewelery is sinful. IF I came across that way then I hope this clears that up.
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Your wrote next:Why then would it be a sin for someone else to wear a diamond wedding set (engagement ring with accompanying band) and it's ok for you to wear a gold band only? Do you see what happens when we try to define things the scripture doesn't define?
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I was not saying that wearing a diamond is a sinful thing for this young woman to do. I was not asking if it was sin for her to have the ring. King Jimmy mentioned that he thought it to be vanity, not me. I was just hoping to understand better what he was sharing about it being vanity but to go ahead and get the ring anyway?
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Next you wrote:You couldn't afford a diamond wedding set, so it is vanity (I know you didn't actually say this; just responding as if that is the conclusion). What if you couldn't afford the 2006 minivan my wife drives? Would that make it a vanity as well?
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Just to clarify I did not say this was vanity, I was asking a question about the spending of the money on the diamond ring(this is the future grooms concern) King Jimmy again was the one who mentioned it being vanity? I was curious to understand his point and was asking him if he would explain more.
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last you wrote:If you are advising this couple, you should focus on the issue of what they can afford, etc., and not going in debt for things such as rings, not whether something you don't personally like would be a sin.
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this young couple has asked advice of my husband and myself. I shared with them both that to me since I do not really wear jewelery or care about it that I might not be the best person so seek on this. I only mentioned my ring because I do not really understand the importance that having a diamond might be for this young woman. It was not a big deal to me but I understand that it is for her and I do not want to take away from that. I was looking for the thoughts of others about this because I do want to share the best advice that the Lord would have me. The groom is concerned about spending money on things that are not needs, but rather wants. I can understand his point of view also. He wants to be a good steward with the money the Lord has provided. The groom feels that buying the ring is wasteful. The bride would like to have her diamond and so they are not agreed. Since this has never really been an issue for me I just thought I would see what others heart on the matter was.
Thank you for your sharing your thoughts davidk and welcome to the forum.
King Jimmy I hope I did not put you on the spot or make you feel uncomfortable in any way. I really am not looking to argue or dispute this topic at all. If I came across in a manner that was other then a loving Christ like heart please forgive me.
God Bless
maryjane
The groom is concerned about spending money on things that are not needs, but rather wants. I can understand his point of view also. He wants to be a good steward with the money the Lord has provided. The groom feels that buying the ring is wasteful. The bride would like to have her diamond and so they are not agreed.
There is no verse in scripture that says the wearing of jewelry is sinful; just the admonition by Paul that women should refrain from expensive adornments but rely on a godly character as their attraction.
[i]1Ti 2:9-10 I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.
If bride and groom were in agreement, then there would be no problem because either way (ring or no ring) is OK. However, the more critical aspect in the situation, I think, is the fact that they are already in disagreement, and it seems from your narrative that neither wants to give way to the other.
Maybe instead of counseling about the ring, they should be counselled about how husband and wife are to relate to each other at times like this.
If I were the husband, I would get the ring to make my wife happy and not fuss about it UNLESS the money for the ring represents a significant amount that could impact their start as a married couple. If the money is significant, I believe the wife should be willing to give way to more important things than jewelry.
If they break up because of this little thing then they probably should not wed anyway.
hi, you can buy a gold cz of high quality that a jeweler would have to use a loop to tell what it was for a hundred or so... now aint that pretty.jimp
This is a very good question. I thought it was interesting because I was thinking about posting this question. We are so used to the way things are and then when they come up to us with a renewed mind it is funny how different things can be. I mean before I had the mind of Christ I wouldn't even think of it and then as a Christian I wouldn't even think of it til it came up and then comparing it to Apostolic doctrine and life. I thought to myself does the Bible say that a ring needs to be bought for the wife? Or I thought what were weddings like in Biblical times if even they were right or if it were changed at different times or? I don't think there is a Biblical telling of this. I do remember being told that in times past slaves would be given an earring, but I don't think that needs to be done now. I also randomly heard a respected missionary preacher say that he was not able to buy a ring for his wife til years after they were married. I also thought what if as ministers we were in hard places and a diamond ring can be seen as something to be stolen or gaudy even and not modest. I think in many cultures it can be seen as a rich mans luxury. I don't know I am still thinking over the subject and have more thoughts. I am not sure, but I don't think it too far fetched that in other countries rings are not even bought. So, maybe it can be seen as a cultural thing and in some instances we are to be cultural though in some not. As for it being a vanity. I think there is a vanity that is sinful and one that is not. Solomon said that all things are vanity and obviously all things are not sin. In the sense in which Solomon was talking it would be vanity to breath because at the end we all die or it has already been done. A sinful sense of vanity would be dressing yourself up to excess to make a person lust after you or to be proud before man and God. What some would say is that it would be a waste. Others would say that you only marry once and you want to show love so maybe spend on this one since it is so important. They would say that we spend on things and why not this which is much more important. God gives us grace and we are not all to live in 100% self denial like John the Baptist. Just like some are called to marry and it is not a sin when full self denial would be singleness. I think I would say thought that it is a good thing not to spend extreme amounts though what really is extreme is it from a western mindset. I also think that couples should not be hindered from marrying because of a very expensive ring, nor be shamed in some way, nor not be able to pay for some other very important thing. I was encouraged in this hearing of the missionary who was not able to buy a ring until years after they were married because they were missionaries and poor.
By "vanity" I don't mean anything sinful per say. Solomon said ***ALL*** is vanity. That's not necessary a bad thing, it's just Solomon putting everything in perspective. So, my argument is that if all is vanity as Solomon said, then being there is a great deal of symbolic significance of a engagement/wedding ring in this life, especially in our culture, then I'm all for somebody splurging (within reason) to buy this item for their bride to be. Considering all the other things we spend money on in this life, I think one would do well, within reason, to spend as much money as they could afford.
Whatever the case, Romans 14 applies here. It falls within the area of Christian liberty. Whatever one's conviction, let him have it before the Lord. When I got engaged to a woman that is now my ex-fiance, I spent about two months pay to get it. Even though our engagement did not work out, and I only fetched 25% of the ring when I resold it, I still do not regret spending what I did to get the ring. It was still a modest ring by most standards, only a 3/4 ct. solitaire stone, but, it was the ring that I absolutely wanted to get her, and it was a ring that I knew she wanted.
This seems to be a area where the scripture is not explict about it. I would personally say a much simpler ring even one without diamonds would even work if you felt there wasn't to be an extravance with it. I would say biblical there needs to be a dowry a gift that the man gives to the women and even to the family.
On the value or prominence of the gift it is not said as much and is more open to what the cultural normal is. But I feel Christians ought not to be following the dictates of cultural so perhaps a simpler form of the same thing could work.
Either way you have liberty.
Some points to hold in mind with relation to the 'present times.'
- Wearing a diamond ring can make you a target for a thief or desperate person
- The deplorable, dangerous conditions of the people who mine these gems (the workers, not the mine owners)
- Would you feel comfortable witnessing to 'street people' while wearing a diamond ring?
- The 'need' for a diamond ring had been created as a money making business.
It is sound practice to not spend more than you have. Diamonds are not an investment. Only the ultra rich can make money buying and selling diamonds. If you or I took a diamond ring to a pawn shop you would only get a pittance of what was paid for it. In the long view, it is a poor investment.
When I married we bought a pawn shop gold band. It was hand crafted and I loved it. God took it from me and brought me to see how I loved the thing. A woman gave me her wedding band after she was divorced, since she knew I had need to sell mine. The Lord brought me to sell that one, too. I bought a simple gold plated/sterling silver one at a flea market and wore it until the plating came off the inside. My husband bought me a simple gold band to replace it. A couple of years ago I had to have that ring cut off my swollen hand during a terrible illness. I may be a slow learner but I got the message this time. It isn't worth the trouble. This couple will have to learn their own lessons but I pass on my observations freely.
white stone
This is something that each person needs to decide on their own between the couple and God. There is no hard and fast rule, and I personally think it's not even a good thing to get people's opinion on... because it can lead to confusion.
A couple needs to seek the Lord about such things. He may tell me to buy a big ol' ring for my fiance... and He may tell someone else to spend as little money as possible.
It all depends on His plan and purposes for each individual believer.
And... to follow that up, if He leads someone to not spend a lot of money on an engagement ring, that couple should never sit in judgement of others who God directed otherwise. And vice versa.
Krispy
Can you put a price tag on love? A diamond ring is just one way of saying, "I love you and I want you to be with me forever." After all, "diamond are forever".
Yes all is vanity. Even the courting and all the wooing, it's all vanity. But women love it. They love being doted upon, and they know the reason, but the reason thrills them because men are doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing, wanting to be with the one they love.
Is it extravagant? Sure is, depending on the largeness of the diamond and his pocket book. But if he has any doubts, tell him not to get it. Tradition can always dictate, but if he is spell bound by her love and beauty he'd buy it without thinking twice. Such is love for our LORD.
What they are doing is creating a memory and a solid foundation. It's in the mind of a man to want to give to his bride to be. Oh you'll have your insensitive beasts, but generally speaking men like to dote. God does the same thing to his bride. He arrayed her with jewels and fine gold. Yes these are spiritual connotations and it should be that of the heart, but we are flesh as well and being engaged to be married is a fleshy arrangement, the two shall become one flesh.
In the New Testament the focus was not to deck oneself out to look like they are holy. That is what Israel was doing. She began to look upon herself and considered her beauty and the jewels and gold that God had given her and she thought her beauty was a result of her own doing. Peter was saying to the women, don't look to these natural elements to make yourselves holy. But it's not a commandment to abstain from them, just know within yourself that these things are for our pleasure not for our justification.
Twas reading some more postings and found this:
Oh dear me. This is not good at all. And they are getting married? The groom is in the wrong. 1 Corinthians 7:33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.The groom feels that buying the ring is wasteful. The bride would like to have her diamond and so they are not agreed.
This is the life that he has chosen, if he is to be married. Tell him to buy that ring with the smallest diamond possible and tell him to tell her, "I am so sorry honey that I took so long".
P.S. buying the smallest diamond possible is his compromising part of not being wasteful and at the same time she is getting her diamond.
And he has to realize that she has something to sport with her girl friends. I've seen this time and time again, they gather around to look at their ring, necklace, pendent, bracelet, you name it, they love talking about this stuff and especially if it came from the man they love. It doesn't matter if your poor or rich, all painted up or a plain Jane, there is always something to talk about amongst girls.
Thank you everyone for your replies. I feel as though I have learned a great deal from asking this question. I just wanted to say that I did make sure that the couple understood that no matter what they did decide to do in the end, that it was their decision and while their is nothing wrong with seeking out advice, they should go to God put it all to prayer and wait on Him for their answer.
White stone: I appreciate what you shared about your ring, or rings. I have only had two rings in my marriage, the first was a very inexpensive white gold band. As I said we got married young and it was all we could afford. I remember it cost all of $50 dollars at the time. Like you I had an injury to my hand and my ring had to be cut off. After that I did not wear a ring for a really long time. I was fine with no ring, as I said I do not really care much for jewelery anyway. When I was pregnant with our last child and my husband and I went through some real hard times, I was sick and we almost divorced because of selfish sinful living.While my husband was living back with his parents he took his gold band off and did not wear it for 4 months. It was such a painful thing for me to see him with out that ring on. It hurt so much even more then him leaving me did. I know that sounds silly but for me his action of taking off the ring was such a revealing of his heart.It meant he no longer loved me, I cried so hard for so long. The really funny thing is that when he did finally come home and we gave our lives to Jesus, committing to live and walk in submission to Him as head of our family all the pain over the ring just disappeared for me. I suddenly knew that as long as we were following Jesus nothing else mattered to me. Later on that year my husband did buy me as a gift a new wedding band, this one matches his. He wears his from time to time, but not always due to an injury. While I appreciate the ring, if I did not have it or he did not have his it would be fine with me, I have learned that things like this do not mean so much to me anymore. Having the love of my Lord and having the love of my husband is more then enough and its what I hold dear to me now. Thank you again for sharing your heart with me.
Deepthinker you wrote:And he has to realize that she has something to sport with her girl friends. I've seen this time and time again, they gather around to look at their ring, necklace, pendent, bracelet, you name it, they love talking about this stuff and especially if it came from the man they love. It doesn't matter if your poor or rich, all painted up or a plain Jane, there is always something to talk about amongst girls.
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Oh dear brother I hope and pray that not all christian women are as silly as you make them sound with this statement. I hope and pray that the things of His kingdom would be on our hearts so much more then temporary trinkets that loose their luster and shine after time. I know you did not mean anything with your comment but I will take it as a reminder to keep my focus on Jesus and not the things of this world that fade away:-)
again thank you all, I feel I have some good things shared here to pass on to this couple. I think that as long as they both seek God first and then put each other before self it will all work out in the end.
God Bless
mj
Good thoughts everybody. Just an additional two cents from me. When I bought my ex-fiance's engagement ring, I'm not going to lie to you, I sought to buy something she not only could glory in the symbol of our love while by herself, but something that she could flash around to her family, girlfriends, and even at the church. It wasn't an extravagant ring... only 3/4 ct. princess cut. It's a rather modest ring where I live at (athletes/bankers/lawyers are everywhere), though it was definitely a big deal in comparison to the rather poor background she came from.
Was it wrong for me to want to give her something that all her friends could oooh and ahhhhh over? No, I don't think so. From my reading of Song of Solomon, such a relationship seemed to exist amongst him and his beloved. I think that is merely part of the courtship and wooing process. I think it is a way of inviting people to celebrate with the couple as a community the love they have for one another, and the union they are looking to enter into. If it does something to anyway strengthen the sentimental and romantic nature of the marriage bond, and glorifies the union of marriage, then I'm all for getting a girl some *bling*
I must say though, when my ex-fiance and I sat down to talk, and she wasn't wearing her ring, and then she placed it in my hand... that was some serious pain. Oh, as Shakespeare said though, better to have love and lost than never loved at all. I wouldn't change a thing I did in regard to my selection of the ring, and if and when I meet somebody else and want to get maried, I plan on doing it all over again just the same.
Whatever one decides though, and feels right in their heart with God about, so beit :-)
Anyway, buying a diamond for a fiancee is not really a must, but it is a fashion for letting her know how much you love her, and you really wanted to marry her. You should pray first for a permission to do it, and I'm sure that He could understand it. Engagement ring is a good way to let her feel how much you wanted her to be your wife.
_________________[url=http://www.fancyfortunecookies.com]Personalized Fortune Cookies
I don't see a problem with an engagement ring...unless the woman is demanding something extravagant for the purpose of vanity, in which case she needs some instruction in godliness. But I think it can be an important symbol and pledge of commitment to the woman, world, and keep the man accountable to his word. however, I also think it is stupid what our culture expects out of engagement rings. I have a wonderful wife who asked for a twisty-tie and specifically NOT a diamond.
PS if the man is looking, I actually have a diamond ring I'm trying to sell. Let me know if he's interested and I can get him all the details.
greetings
Just thought I would give those who posted a quick update. The future groom did decided to buy a diamond for his future bride. From what he shared with my husband there are now issue over the size and amount of money that will be spent. The bride has her heart set on a rather expensive ring, my husband reminded the future groom to be mindful about going into debt. However there are others that are also sharing with him that he should get her what ever she wants and do what it takes to make her happy. My husband said that the groom does seem to still be struggling with some of this but he does want to make his bride happy and keep the peace so they will be going shopping.
Thank you all again for sharing your wisdom in this with me.
God Bless
mj
Hello...
After reading this thread, I am reminded of Isaac and his marriage with Rebekah (Genesis 24). As soon as Abraham's chief servant found Rebekah and she fulfilled the requirements of his prayer (drawing water for him and then for his camels), he pulled out a gold ring and a couple of bracelets (Genesis 24:22). The KJV incorrectly calls is an "earring," but it was placed in Rebekah's face (her nose, in Genesis 24:30 and Genesis 24:47). Regardless, this (the nose ring and the bracelets) was due to the custom of the time and not some Biblical mandate. Notice that this gold ring was quite heavy (a half shekel) for a nose ring. So, this was a quite noticeable ornament on her face (as were the two bracelets weighing 10 shekels).
The custom of jewelry obviously extended throughout Israel. When Aaron created a golden calf idol, he obtained the gold from the ears of the people. Of course, there isn't any sort of prohibition of wedding or betrothal jewelry in the Law of Moses. In fact, the Law is quite silent on the matter.
However, God (speaking through the prophet Ezekiel) compared Jerusalem to a bride that sounds a lot like Rebekah -- complete with a ring and bracelets (Ezekiel 16:10-12). This is, perhaps, one of the first clear examples of how God sees His people as a "bride." In Jeremiah, God asked, "[i]Can a maid forget her ornaments, or a bride her attire? yet my people have forgotten me days without number[i]as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels
In the New Testament, we know that the Church is compared to a beautifully adorned bride who has "made herself ready" (Revelation 19:7). In fact, the New Jerusalem will be adorned with many exceedingly precious jewels and gold. In fact, the custom of the day dictated the wearing of certain jewelry (sometimes as a sign). Kings wore signet rings (as did their designated servants). Even slaves wore rings to signify who they belonged to. Most historians believe that the idea of a bridal ring itself showed that she "belonged" to someone (in other words, HANDS OFF). Even today, people in this world will often flirt with someone who doesn't wear a ring. In fact, I had an experience in college where a girl told me (and others) that "God told her" she was going to marry me. I reminded her that I was courting someone else (and she knew this). However, she replied, "[i]But there isn't a ring on your finger yet
If you recall the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:21-22), the father adorned his returning son with a ring on his finger (even after he had squandered his father's wealth). Why? I think that it was like the father telling the son, "[i]You belong to me. You are mine
I have been married for over two years now. I can say with complete sincerity that I love my wife and I am so happy to be married to her! It may sound corny, but we really do "complete" one another. We can say with great confidence of one another, "[i]I am my beloved and my beloved is mine
When it came time to buy a ring, I really wanted to adorn her with something significant. I had saved up quite a bit of money to pay for the ring (expecting to pay several thousand dollars). I didn't feel comfortable with giving her a ring that she might not like, so we shopped for a ring together. I had an idea of a type of ring that I wanted to get her, but she didn't like it. In fact, she strayed away from the more extravagant and "flashy" rings. She has small fingers, and she didn't want to feel uncomfortable with a ring that she was going to wear everyday. Ultimately, it came down to two different and very lovely white gold ring sets. One was far more expensive than the other, so my wife (at the time, [i]my fiancé
In the course of trying them on, the owner realized that she was a very good friend of my sister. She ended up selling us the ring at cost...which made the more expensive ring set less expensive than the other one that we were considering. We ended up engraving the words of Ruth 1:16 inside ("[i]...thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God
Personally, I think that the passage in James 2:1-9 about jewelry isn't actually a [u]prohibition
I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine. The ring is just a symbol to show that to others (without me having to tell everyone).
:-)
Its funny because my husband asked me when this young man came to him the first time if I ever regretted not getting a diamond ring. With so many putting the importance of the ring as a way for the groom to show his love for his wife I guess there was a part of me that began to wonder, "Does my husband love me that much?" I will admit this has been on my heart. My husband is not a romantic guy, in fact sharing or showing his emotions at all are something he really struggles with. At times this can be really hard for me, but then I remember and think about all the many ways he does show his love for me. The thousand little things that he does are what really mean a lot to me. I know if I asked for a diamond he would say sure we can get you one but I think I really do just prefer my plain band. Its not expensive but some how it just fits who I am and who we are as a couple and I think that is what matters most. I think as long as you approach this matter(if your in the situation of looking for an engagement ring) with Christ as the head of your decisions then the choice made will be the right one:-)
Now as for the matter of the wedding itself and the insane amounts of money that are spent and that most churches(at least in my area) charge...well that is a whole other thread:-)
God Bless
mj
I would like to add that the future bride should have her heart set on two things: God, and then her future husband, NOT on a certain ring. The ring is a symbol and a pledge to his following through on his word, as they get godly counsel preparing for marriage and come under more intense scrutiny for their upcoming covnenant with one another. She should have a gentle and quiet spirit about all things, and if this ring is causing her to fall in these areas, then that is precisely the thing she should not have.
As far as her future husband "keeping the peace", that might not be loving her, and might turn her further from Christ. He must be gentle, careful, and understanding, as with a weaker vessel, but if he determines that a certain ring is not appropriate, he needs to tell her "no" and she should respond in kind obedience. Now, he is not yet her husband, so she is not in sin if she doesn't submit to him, but she should be able to see her sin in the matter of coveting or not being a good steward, or not adorning herself properly, etc.
Please note that I am not saying is currently in sin just because she wants a ring...I am saying those things have to be considered.
As far as the wedding, we did what was normal for hundreds of years in the church: during the course of our weekly corporate worship gathering. Instead of baptism or ordination of elders or whatever, we stood up and exchanged vows. No processional, no thousand dollar dresses. Just a covenant before God with His church as a witness.
Did you know that the avg. American wedding costs $17,000?
Another interesting tidbit: Calvin and the town of Geneva instituted that engagements should NEVER be longer than six weeks, and should take place on no later than the third public announcement of the marriage! If the couple wanted to take longer than six weeks, the elders were to meet, and if they agreed on the marriage, COMPEL the couple to get married anyway!
No, but you did take my post the wrong way. I was talking about sensible godly women who enjoy girls getting together and talking about their wedding plans, rings, flowers etc.. Such things are normal amongst women and I certainly enjoy women getting together doing such things. This is her time, her joy, her moment. Women are different then men. Men can walk out of the house unshaven, uncombed and wearing the same clothes he slept in. Women cannot. They have to make sure they look good before they step out and meet the world. If she doesn't, she's either lost her senses, she's a Tomboy or hates herself.Oh dear brother I hope and pray that not all christian women are as silly as you make them sound with this statement.
Deepthinker if I took your post the wrong way then please forgive me. I was just thinking that I pray as a christian woman that my heart is more about the Kingdom then the things of this world is all.
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you wrote:I was talking about sensible godly women who enjoy girls getting together and talking about their wedding plans, rings, flowers etc.. Such things are normal amongst women and I certainly enjoy women getting together doing such things. This is her time, her joy, her moment. Women are different then men.
They have to make sure they look good before they step out and meet the world. If she doesn't, she's either lost her senses, she's a Tomboy or hates herself.
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I am not sure what to make of the rest of what you wrote? It is hard for me to relate to I think. I did not take any part in planing my own wedding, I left it all to my mom. I honestly just did not care about that kind of stuff but it might of been due to my age I suppose? Although even when my daughter got married I left it all to her, I offered my thoughts if she asked me but that was about it. I knew my daughter has better taste then I do so I trusted her to make the choices she liked.
Anyway I thank you for sharing with me your thoughts.
God Bless
mj
Someone said the average wedding costs 17,000. Should Christians spend that much on a wedding?
:cry: :-( :-? :-oI am not sure what to make of the rest of what you wrote?
Do all in the name of the LORD and above all give thanks, without going into debt.Someone said the average wedding costs 17,000. Should Christians spend that much on a wedding?
Greetings deepthinker
You quoted my post and then put up the smile faces. I know one of them is a sad face, did I upset you with what I wrote? If I did please forgive me, it was not my intention to do so.
As far as if a christian should spend that kind of money or not I think is something that should be prayed about by the family and couple. The only reason I was thinking about it and commented is a couple from where my husband works(different couple) is spending $38,000 on their wedding and I was surprised by the large cost. They said the church was going to cost them $7,000 for the afternoon event and that does not include the cost of clean up. That shocked me the most. They said they were really shocked by the cost to but the bride has always attended this church and it is worth it to them:-) I just did not realize churches cost so much to have a wedding. My sister shared with me that when her friends father passed away the it cost almost $3,000 to use the church for the memorial service. Not saying that these churches are wrong for charging just surprised by the amounts.
God Bless
mj
As far as if a christian should spend that kind of money or not I think is something that should be prayed about by the family and couple. The only reason I was thinking about it and commented is a couple from where my husband works(different couple) is spending $38,000 on their wedding and I was surprised by the large cost. They said the church was going to cost them $7,000 for the afternoon event and that does not include the cost of clean up. That shocked me the most. They said they were really shocked by the cost to but the bride has always attended this church and it is worth it to them I just did not realize churches cost so much to have a wedding. My sister shared with me that when her friends father passed away the it cost almost $3,000 to use the church for the memorial service. Not saying that these churches are wrong for charging just surprised by the amounts.
This is what the locals would call daylight robbery! I think these charges are so ridiculous it ain't funny! Somehow I cannot even view these charges with any kind of calmness...
If it would be me, I would find a much cheaper way to get the job done.
As far as funerals go, local churches will chip in and cook the food to feed the attendees at a funeral. All at no cost to the family. And the churches do NOT charge to use their facility unless you are not a member there. Then a small nominal fee may be charged. But then we live in rural America, or the boondocks are far as urban America is concerned. :-)
ginnyrose
Greetings Ginnyrose
The church that is being used for the wedding, is a bigger church in my area, I believe they accommodate 5000 now after their remodeling. This church also has a book store and a restaurant. I was talking with my husband and he did say that the couple getting married does not have to pay extra charges for the pastor to do the service and they get use of the on staff wedding coordinator as well as the staff to run sound. It still leaves me shocked but then again I guess I should not really be surprised by these kinds of things anymore.
God Bless
mj
Someone said the average wedding costs 17,000. Should Christians spend that much on a wedding?
I have a question: Is it good stewardship to spend this much money for a wedding, even if you can afford it? This amount to me is excessive. Why does anyone want to spend so much unless it is for show or pride? Personally, I am turned off by these productions...
ginnyrose
Me too!Is it good stewardship to spend this much money for a wedding, even if you can afford it? This amount to me is excessive. Why does anyone want to spend so much unless it is for show or pride? Personally, I am turned off by these productions...
What I am turned off about is that we are making our own laws of touch not, taste not, handle not. We are free to do whatever we want to do.
Now that statement needs to be clarified because we have the idea that those who think that way can go and sin and live it up. Not so!
If we love God and put Him first, we will not be readily looking to sin or spend excessively, however, the freedom is there if one so desires to do it. The freedom is there even to sin, but there are consequences. "God is not mocked, for whatsoever a man soweth that shall he also reap". So we are not of them that go back into perdition but are those that have died with Christ and arose in newness of life.
Remember the woman with the expensive perfume? She took that and poured the whole thing over Jesus feet, now that is excessive! But Judas murmured, this could have been used to feed the poor.
We are saying the same thing as Judas. This woman gave up the most precious thing she had and gave it to Jesus. Her motive was out of love. If your motive is right in spending a lot of money on something like a wedding, then there is nothing wrong with that, but if our motive is wrong and we are going into debt doing it, then nothing will be right and God's hand cannot bless it.
It's hard to place a moral judgement on a specific use of money without setting up a judgement against ourselves. Dollar volume is a relative 'evil'.
In any case, if it is a waste of money, then that carries with it it's own 'judgement.' People who are unwise with money do not need God to punish them; they punish themselves. They spend their lives tied to a whipping post of their own making.
Hello...
I agree that it would be difficult to place a monetary amount to determine whether or not a wedding is [i]excessive
Far too often, I know some brides who seem to be more excited about getting married than being united in a covenant with their groom. This is also true of many grooms. The focus of the wedding is on the ceremony (amongst other things)rather than on starting the marriage through a meaningful covenant.
I have been to some very extravagant weddings. I have even seen some brides who went well out of their way to make "their day" go the way that "they" want it to. We have heard stories of "bridezillas" who are so lavish, eccentric and demanding when it comes to this particular day that they act like a spoiled child. I even attended one wedding where the bride made a major "scene" (in tears) because the cake was not perfectly symmetric. I don't think that this is a good way to start off a marriage covenant.
After my wife and I were engaged, we attended several weddings as a couple. After seeing the lavish nature and seemingly excessive expense for some of those weddings, we decided that this was not for us. We reasoned that we would prefer to use our money for LIFE and not an overly indulgent celebration. We made the point of praying over everything that we did.
Ultimately, we had a very pleasant and appealing wedding (just a couple of years ago) where we emphasized a focus on our marriage covenant before God more those who were witnesses. We wanted a small wedding that would be limited to about 150 friends and family members (and we ended up having about 160).
My wife's dress was purchased (and altered) for less than $300. The Church building in which we were married was free (and the pastor and several members of the congregation worked for free...including the musicians and sound man). I purchased my new tuxedo for $100 (using a coupon and student discount). Our wedding cakes were lovely and very tasty...and cost less than $300. The church decorations were free. Our wedding supper was held in a beautiful banquet hall on a local military base. It was completely catered with fine food on fine china (and decorated to look very fancy), but the military kept the prices down very low (and the decorations, wait staff and cleanup were included in the low price). Our wedding rings were greatly discounted (as I mentioned in the last post). We even hired the local high school photography instructor to take the wedding photos (for less than $200)!
The music that played during the wedding supper and reception was music that I had prayed over and purchased from iTunes. Most of the songs were simple, lovely piano renditions of some of my favorite hymns. Ultimately, I think that our entire budget worked out to about $3000. More importantly, we never got "uptight" about these sort of things. We wanted to focus on God and the covenant that we were making in His eyes before these witnesses.
Why am I including this? The wedding was wonderful, inexpensive -- and no one was really stressed by it! My wife didn't act like so many women today who selfishly want to make themselves the emphasis through grandeur. God (and the covenant that we were making in His sight) was our emphasis. Both my wife and I were at ease throughout the entire day. Many people commented on how lovely it was and that they could "feel" the wonderful "ease" in the Church building and banquet hall. Several guests described the wedding as simply eloquent (or eloquently simple) and having "flowed" and with no tension whatsoever.
I think that this only came about because our focus was in the right place. My wife and I would have been happy to have been married outdoors...in a forest...or in a stable...or in a home...or simply in a Church. We knew that the preeminent thing happening that day was the covenant that we were making before God. We had both prepared for that day for a long time, but more in regard to the inward matters than any sort of superficial outward things. I would suggest to anyone who will be getting married to do likewise.
I suppose that it is perfectly acceptable (and even biblical) for a wife to be well adorned for her husband. However, I think that most husbands (well, particularly those who know Christ) would agree that the dress isn't really that important. The important thing is the woman who will be walking down the aisle and the covenant that is being made in the sight of God with that woman. I think that many engagements and weddings today leave the couple (and the woman, in particular) unprepared for the scope of the covenant that they make. Many, I suppose, are more in love with the notion of getting married rather than in making a lifelong covenant with a spouse. Many are much more concerned with what the guests will see and think instead of the One before whose eyes they are joining together. Too many, I think, leave Jesus at the altar.
Dear DeepThinker,
You wrote:
Remember the woman with the expensive perfume? She took that and poured the whole thing over Jesus feet, now that is excessive! But Judas murmured, this could have been used to feed the poor.
See the actual Scripture below. You may gravely endanger yourself, or others by misquoting the Lord's Word. To check that all that is necessary is to Google the phrase [u]she has anointed me before my burial
Also, when you said:
You are adding to the Scripture. I have read that passage over 10 times in the last two years and it does not say that.This woman gave up the most precious thing she had and gave it to Jesus.
I kept quiet when you stated your opinion of what a woman was to be like, but this is life and death and I will not stay quiet for that. Please, do not type just to fill space. Make certain of what you are saying. You have no idea how damaging it could be to a weak Brother or Sister, or someone who may be on the point of making a step towards the Lord Jesus.
This is for your own good, as well.
white stone
Matthew 26:6 Now when Jesus was in Bethany, in the house of Simon the leper, 7 There came unto him a woman having an alabaster box of very precious ointment, and poured it on his head, as he sat at meat. 8 But when his disciples saw it, they had indignation, saying, To what purpose is this waste? 9 For this ointment might have been sold for much, and given to the poor. 10 When Jesus understood it, he said unto them, Why trouble ye the woman? for she hath wrought a good work upon me. 11 For ye have the poor always with you; but me ye have not always. 12 For in that she hath poured this ointment on my body, she did it for my burial. 13 Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached in the whole world, there shall also this, that this woman hath done, be told for a memorial of her.
Chris,
I love your testimony! It is so refreshing! Really!
The most important thing that happens on the day is the covenant that is made between a man and his wife.
The important thing is the woman who will be walking down the aisle and the covenant that is being made in the sight of God with that woman.
SO true.
"bridezillas" who are so lavish, eccentric and demanding when it comes to this particular day that they act like a spoiled child. I even attended one wedding where the bride made a major "scene" (in tears) because the cake was not perfectly symmetric. I don't think that this is a good way to start off a marriage covenant.
I would thing this is a harbinger of life to come as a wife in this marriage. Here is the south we would say she acted like a spoiled brat.
My wife didn't act like so many women today who selfishly want to make themselves the emphasis through grandeur.
She must be a sweet lady! Are you as good as she? ;-)
I suppose that it is perfectly acceptable (and even biblical) for a wife to be well adorned for her husband.
Unfortunately, too many, even so called Christian brides, throw modesty to the winds come wedding day...wonder if the LORD is pleased with that?
I suppose, are more in love with the notion of getting married rather than in making a lifelong covenant with a spouse.
This is so very true. Most girls grow up dreaming of the day they can be a [i]bride
Chris, I loved you and your wife's attitude about how you did things. You were thrifty, sensible. One can be elegant without being extravagant.
Bless you,
ginnyrose
Most girls grow up dreaming of the day they can be a bride
That is a good point. Today's youth are grossly mislead.
More important to work towards being a good wife. A Bride is for one day, a wife is forever. Note that I said 'work towards?' It is not something that just happens, it must be prepared for to expect the best results.
Regards,
white stone
I have another question. It is about the wedding ring, but not so much from a cost perspective.
Let's say that the woman has a platinum ring with a big diamond on it that cost thousands of dollars? Is this ok not so much in the sense that it costs so much, but that it may be gaudy. I mean I think the Scriptures tell women to be modest and not to overly adorn themselves with jewelry.
I mean what if one ministered in an area where there was not a lot of money and then this ring looked like a lavish rich person. Not only messing with the testimony of the person but also maybe putting them in danger.
It is hard to say what is being luxurious and what is not as things are relative to cultures, but I think that at least ought always to have some degree of moderation.
I say this from the standpoint of seeking to be a man and minister of God after the Apostolic order of Paul the Apostle being an ambassador of Christ for eternal things seeking to live a crucified and loving sacrificial life for Christ. I seek to be the servant of all and to be as fruitful as possible to be extreme for the Kingdom and in light of it all I would like to know what you all think?
Curious, In danger of what?Not only messing with the testimony of the person but also maybe putting them in danger.
In danger of being robbed.
If you are ministering to street people you do not want to be a tempting anyone to steal, nor do you want to be hurt by someone grabbing the ring and running off - with your finger.
Why wear one in the first place - it is only a worldly tradition. Vanity at it's most subtle but still vanity.
It took me over 35 years to realize this and put my wedding band in a drawer. (It is so thin it isn't worth selling. My husband gave it to me, it is the giver that makes the gift precious, not the thing itself.)
regards,
white stone
Hi anonymity...
Is this ok not so much in the sense that it costs so much, but that it may be gaudy. I mean I think the Scriptures tell women to be modest and not to overly adorn themselves with jewelry.
Rebekah (Isaac's wife) was adorned with a heavy, golden nose ring (and two heavy golden bracelets). God (speaking through the prophet Ezekiel) compared Jerusalem to a bride that sounds a lot like Rebekah -- complete with a ring and bracelets (Ezekiel 16:10-12). This is, perhaps, one of the first clear examples of how God sees His people as a "bride." In Jeremiah, God asked, "Can a maid forget her ornaments, or a bride her attire? yet my people have forgotten me days without number" (Jeremiah 2:32).
In Isaiah, God also mentions that He would adorn His people "like a bride" (Isaiah 49:18) while Isaiah himself said that God had clothed him "as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels" (Isaiah 61:10). In the New Testament, we know that the Church is compared to a beautifully adorned bride who has "made herself ready" (Revelation 19:7).
I don't think that this reflects a "gaudy" attitude at all...any more than a king who wears a crown. It indicates the place of which the woman is taking. Even the poor realize this. I think that the important thing that is mentioned in the New Testament (James 2:1-9) is to not become conceited or to show favoritism toward those who are apparently rich.
James 2:2-4"For if there come unto your assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel, and there come in also a poor man in vile raiment; And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool: Are ye not then partial in yourselves, and are become judges of evil thoughts?"
Now, I agree that it is possible to be blatantly excessive with a wedding band. I don't think that we should walk around with the [url=http://www.si.edu/Encyclopedia_Si/nmnh/hope.htm]Hope Diamond
Oddly enough, the New Testament doesn't give an exact prescription for "modesty." Many religions actually have specific instructions for dress. Yet the New Testament doesn't confine individuals to a "law" of modesty. We are instructed to be modest...without instructions given in regard to any sort of specific requirements. Rather, modesty is a principle in the heart of a believer who truly belongs to Jesus Christ. They will NOT dress in a provocative or worldly manner because they are aware of those around them. They place others before them and do not want to be a tempting yoke around the neck of anyone else. At the same time, they have the liberty to walk with a clear conscience before God. This is part of the essence of apostolic Christianity. It has far less to do with what we look like on the outside -- because this is merely a reflection of who we are on the inside. We should constantly be adorned with the fruit of the Spirit.
:-)
I think there are some real modesty issues that should be shared with many young professing brides who claim the name of Jesus and yet wear dresses that are strapless, low cut, form fitting and in many ways revealing. Its really interesting to me that even some who speak on modesty and the value there in see no problem with the bride on her wedding day wearing a dress that is very revealing and does not cover her. Does God stop caring about modesty on your wedding day?
It is not just the engagement ring but sadly much of the behavior at weddings even at a christian wedding with the drinking, suggestive dancing, the guarder toss, ect. does not bare much fruit or witness to those who are not saved. I really do think that before the wedding is even planned both the bride and groom must come before the Lord and let go of their wants and desires for the day and seek to do what is pleasing to the Lord.
Just my thoughts:-)
Here is tiny portion from a teaching I read on modesty
_________
For most of us, those cravings have included jealousies about others’ appearances, comparisons of our flesh to others’ flesh; competing with our looks, and being eaten up inside with our lust to look good—vanity of every sort. This would also include the terrible sin of drawing people to our own bodies instead of pointing them towards God with our behavior. And whether knowingly or unknowingly, most of us have been, at times, responsible for causing others to stumble into lusts and other sin, because we were so selfish and vain to adorn ourselves outwardly in an effort to impress or entice people. That is the product of a diet of worldly thinking in regard to clothing and appearance. This alone should cause us to run from anything originating in the heart of the world and the devil. He is our enemy and will work through any means to spoil and twist and poison and pollute our minds against Godliness and a Life hidden in Christ with God. It is no surprise that he has steeped people in a cauldron of stinking flesh and immorality and immodesty through the avenues of our eyes and ears and emotions. Please, recognize this for what it is! Agreeing with God is not optional for a follower of Jesus.
Chris,
In Jeremiah, God asked, "Can a maid forget her ornaments, or a bride her attire? yet my people have forgotten me days without number" (Jeremiah 2:32).
It seems to me that the people should have been adorning themselves with the Lord and clothing themselves with His Righteous, not that God is speaking of them actually wearing 'finery.' The finery that is best is a Godly nature.
Wind Blows, good points you made. Most of the ceremony is simply worldly trappings and traditions. Not worth carrying forward, in my opinion.
white stone.
Hi White_Stone...
White_Stone wrote:
Chris,In Jeremiah, God asked, "Can a maid forget her ornaments, or a bride her attire? yet my people have forgotten me days without number" (Jeremiah 2:32).
It seems to me that the people should have been adorning themselves with the Lord and clothing themselves with His Righteous, not that God is speaking of them actually wearing 'finery.' The finery that is best is a Godly nature.
This is certainly true. However, one type of adornment is but a "type and a shadow" of the other. Just because she is supposed to already be adorned with godliness does not mean that a bride should not (or cannot) be adorned with such things. They are, after all, quite [i]scriptural
1Ti 2:9 likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire,
1Ti 2:10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness--with good works.
1Pe 3:1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,
1Pe 3:2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
1Pe 3:3 Do not let your adorning be external--the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear--
1Pe 3:4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.
1Pe 3:5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,
1Pe 3:6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
These are the passages I was thinking more of then those in James. I wonder if these passages are saying that godly women are not to wear costly jewelry at all. Or if even jewelry at all. Maybe they are not even to get their hair done in some upscale way.?
So if a bride wore a diamond ring that costs thousands of dollars I wonder if these passages would rule that out. I mean I think expensive rings if they are somewhat expensive to westerners imagine how expensive they are to those who live more normally on the earth as we live in an unreal world. Therefore making them immodest to say the least.?
MaryJane: My wife and I were on a very limited budget. We went to a jewelry store, and my wife picked out a very pretty ring and had a ruby mounted instead of a diamond. It cut the cost considerably. It wasn't the diamond that was significant. It was the commitment the ring symbolized. Before long I hope to be able to buy her a diamond set, and we have been married now for 16 years. I think that so many have misplaced priorities. We spent money on a modest home that we paid off in 5 years. It was well worth not buying a super expensive ring. Of course, I have a wonderful, Godly wife who, although she enjoys nice things, is not ruled by an appetite for those things.
Travis.
Greetings travis:
Thanks for sharing your memories here with me. I have to admit that when I posted and asked this question I wasn't really prepared for how some of the replies in this thread would effect me. Its really funny to me at times the things that the Lord will use to reveal Himself to us and to show us things in our lives that we might not other wise be seeing.
God Bless
maryjane
Perfect Balance. Nice!Of course, I have a wonderful, Godly wife who, although she enjoys nice things, is not ruled by an appetite for those things.
I think there are some real modesty issues that should be shared with many young professing brides who claim the name of Jesus and yet wear dresses that are strapless, low cut, form fitting and in many ways revealing. Its really interesting to me that even some who speak on modesty and the value there in see no problem with the bride on her wedding day wearing a dress that is very revealing and does not cover her. Does God stop caring about modesty on your wedding day?It is not just the engagement ring but sadly much of the behavior at weddings even at a christian wedding with the drinking, suggestive dancing, the guarder toss, etc. does not bare much fruit or witness to those who are not saved. I really do think that before the wedding is even planned both the bride and groom must come before the Lord and let go of their wants and desires for the day and seek to do what is pleasing to the Lord.
This post encourages me - encourages me to see that there are others with similar convictions. So many times it seems like I/we are so alone. The pressure to cave in to popular culture is so real, made worse by such 'good Christians', even those in ministry, who will follow worldly fashions.
It is disconcerting when one sees modesty thrown to the winds on a wedding day by the attire of the bride. As a female this immodesty makes me very uncomfortable. Consider: what motivates a female to dress so immodestly? Is she not flaunting her desire to mate? Since this is an inborn desire why be so in your face with it?
Seems to me the female is not the only one to blame. There are too many males who wish for their brides/wives to dress immodestly. Some females want to be more modest but their husbands will pressure them to do otherwise; and the opposite is true as well. What gives? why can there be no unity between the two about what is proper, what lends itself to purity?
ginnyrose
hi, the very wealthy never wear real diamonds for they are in the safe... double dated with zsa zsa gabor in N.O. and she was adorned with beautiful jewelry...all czs... dated a multi millionaire lady who swowed me her diamond collection all unmounted and what did she wear..czs jimp
It is all an illusion and fake for them. What do they get out of it? Attention and glory on Earth.
None of it satisfies me but the Bread of Life.
white stone
Some of my questions are still up and getting buried if anyone is able and willing to answer:
1Ti 2:9 likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 1Ti 2:10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness--with good works. 1Pe 3:1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 1Pe 3:2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 1Pe 3:3 Do not let your adorning be external--the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-- 1Pe 3:4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 1Pe 3:5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 1Pe 3:6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. These are the passages I was thinking more of then those in James. I wonder if these passages are saying that godly women are not to wear costly jewelry at all. Or if even jewelry at all. Maybe they are not even to get their hair done in some upscale way.? So if a bride wore a diamond ring that costs thousands of dollars I wonder if these passages would rule that out. I mean I think expensive rings if they are somewhat expensive to westerners imagine how expensive they are to those who live more normally on the earth as we live in an unreal world. Therefore making them immodest to say the least.?
Hi anonymity...
I don't think that these passages represent any sort of ultimate prohibition against such things. Gold jewelry? That would prohibit pretty much any sort of wedding ring. Braided hair? I know people who braid their hair simply because it is the easiest way to keep it out of their face.
I think that it is unwise to start creating some sort of New Testament "law" that is based upon specific measurements or requirements. I have heard of pastors who used measuring rods to determine if the dresses of the women in their churches were too short. I suppose that his congregation contains women who adhere to his particular restrictions and ideology...and no one else.
A restriction on "costly" jewelry is, of itself, quite relative too. My mother wears a diamond and gold ring that she has had for over 30 years. This was long before gold prices jumped so drastically. To replace that ring, a person would have to shell out thousands of dollars. Yet, it hardly cost a couple hundred at the time. Speaking of "relative," pretty much anyone who owns a computer would be consider "wealthy" by standards of 80% of the world (as well as most people who lived during the time of Christ, Peter, Paul and James). I know Americans who complain about being "poor." Yet these people live in a house, have food, own two cars, have a cell phone, own a computer (with internet), and have indoor bathrooms.
David Wilkerson once spoke a message that pointed out the flaws of the prosperity "Gospel." In it, Wilkerson explained that "the luxuries of yesterday have a habit of becoming the necessities of today." There was a time in which only the rich had a telephone or an indoor bathroom. Today, we think of those who don't have those things to be "poor." Yet, most people in this world don't have indoor plumbing! I have traveled deep within the mountains of the Sierra Madre Occidental in Mexico to minister to indigenous Tarahumara tribes. Most of the Tarahumara lived in caves. There were no bathrooms...no walls...no running water...no electricity. They live a lot like people lived 200 years ago. I suspect that they looked at our old 4x4s (that were largely falling apart) and thought that we were all "rich."
I suppose that the important thing, when it comes to something as superficial as a wedding ring, is to walk before God with a clear conscience. I have a rather plain ring. It is white gold...of which it might be difficult to tell the difference from stainless steel or polished silver. I don't feel that it is breaking any sort of principle from Scriptures -- especially if I don't look up or down at anyone based upon such superficial means.
anonymity,
You want some reaction to the scriptures you posted..? I will share how I understand it.
Woman love to adorn, we love beauty. It is in our nature to do so, regardless what it is: it is part of the creativity that God has bestowed upon the female mind. Since this is the case, many will go to great lengths to adorn themselves and everything in their environment. It is my understanding that this drive to beautify is not worldly because God did the same when he created the world - just look around: who has not appreciated the colors, textures of a plant, a flower, an animal, the sunset or ...? Or, the beauty of sound known as music? These are things God has given for us to enjoy and I would guess it was a pleasurable thing for God to make.
Since beauty comes from the mind of God, we fallen creatures will take things to excess and work to elevate our own prestige because some things are much more sought after because of their rarity and beauty. It will also enhance ones standing in society. As one considers this principle, and allow it to teach you and possess you, these scriptures will make a whole lot more sense.
So, how is a woman to adorn herself?
1. respectable apparel
2. with modesty
3. self-control
4. with good works
5. be subject to your own husbands
6. pure conduct
7. a gentle and quiet spirit
These are the qualities with which a female is to adorn herself. Now, if these qualities rule how will these things look like on a godly woman:
1.gold
2.pearls
3.costly attire
4.'braided hair' (am told they used to weave gold in their braids, hence the prohibition)
5. gold jewelry
Don't look like they belong, do they? What do you think?
ginnyrose
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