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1 Corinthians 7:9
Who is Paul talking to then....and in 2010?
Or was he addressing people who were already in a courtship?
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Just get married or burn with lust??
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sermonindex
i believe he is speaking about someone who is not married and is a christian who has an interest towards the opposite sex. The basis i believe for him saying this is that to not fall in fornication and sexual immorality through burning for lust, which could lead to those acts is that you need to marry so you don't sin against the Lord. Fornication is a very sinful act and can hurt the walk of a believer very much.
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Santana
Bible4life,
Is this across the board? I'm just thinking about getting married without resolving these issues first. I know someone who wants to get married to fulfill that area but I know it's not going to be pretty down the road. If you know what I mean.
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shy1
would u marry a non christian
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sermonindex
@Santana,
I don't think you should marry without resolving that issue. I heard from pastors that addiction to porn or lust does not fade when one gets married. Although everyone who does not have the gift of celibacy does burn with lust, I think there should be some type of change that happens before marriage. Marriage is already hard from what I hear, it seems like a lack of control in this area will make it harder.
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sermonindex
@shy1
no, it's about the worst thing you can do when it comes to marriage.
let me rephrase that. not in all instances but it would be rare. God does very rarely use or others to save that person. But that's if that person gets saved.
I don't think God wants us to be unequally yoked.
I would say 99.999999%, it shouldn't be done because it will be hell on earth.
I know it's hard because we are human and if we meet a great match is very hard to do in this world but I seen marriages and people go through too much pain for me to recommend this at all.
I know a girl I grew up with who married a non-believer and he just got up and left her one day when she had a child with him.
I know families torn apart, and parents divorces and broken children result from this.
I really do not recommend this but I hope that you pray to God if you are in this situation about this.
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StephDude
Im a six-seven year old Christian and if there is anything i struggle with most its lust and sexual immorality and lack of self control.
I want to marry because i cant control my lust at times but this is not the soul reason and motivation for choosing someone. Never!
I know when i get married i will see more attractive women afterwards of which i will never have an obligation to be with in a relationship.
I also believe that when im married i maybe touched by some other woman who has qualities about her that my wife does not and i may be tempted to comprimise my marriage.
The other night i gave into lust and sinned and at times i think, 'I should just go and get married and then i wont struggle with lust.' But i think this will not be the case and ill have to exercise more self control than i do as a single young man.
If i make a commitment to marry this will be because i choose to do so and there is much benifits from being married including family and love being reciprocated. Does this mean i am in Gods will? Does God choose the person for us? Or do i just live and trust God and seek him knowing that he will give me all i need in thier own times?
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sojourner7
It is wise if you get to know a
woman as a sister and a friend
before you marry. Let GOD lead
in the relationship. Walk in
the Spirit so you will not be
tempted and vulnerable!!
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davidc
Stevedude asks
"Or do i just live and trust God and seek him knowing that he will give me all i need in thier own times?"
You came to the right asnswer yourself Steve. The Lord Jesus always hears our true hearts cry.
"Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. Heb 4:14-16 (KJV)
David
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sermonindex
Funny how a man of the world seeks out his wife and do well with her (mind you some don't, but that can be said in the Church as well), and a man in the faith is bound by waiting for the Lord to give him a wife. I rarely see God intervening on man's behalf in satisfying a lustful relationship with porn by giving him a wife.
Paul was referring to men who were not married, who were finding themselves in houses of ill fame and he was telling them, "look, get married, it's better for you be with one woman than to cruise broadway trying to fulfill that burning urge."
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Yeshuasboy
I enjoy & have been blessed by Baxter's "Directions Against Fornication" which can be heard @ www.sermonaudio.com. Sin always lieth @ the door, but we must learn by the grace of God to master it; & we can praise God! Don't go where the snare lies, & reckon yourself dead unto sin but alive unto God friend.
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Yeshuasboy
"There is a majesty of grace on the conscience of the child of God, that must break out in holy duties: though temptation should hide Christ in His grace, tempted Joseph is overawed with this, (Genesis 39:9). This awful majesty of the grace of God's fear causeth Joseph (to) see nothing in harlotry, but pure, unmixed guiltiness against God." - Samuel Rutherford
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sermonindex
I don't think you should marry without resolving that issue.
very true...often times it can be more of a challenge. but you say it well, its not the cure.
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sermonindex
I rarely see God intervening on man's behalf in satisfying a lustful relationship with porn by giving him a wife.
I don't believe this statement is true. It sounds to me that you must be perfect and sinless to have a blessing. We all make mistakes and struggle with sin, but God still comes through. Especially if one is struggling with porn, God may send a suitable helper, a strong woman. I believe it would have the opposite effect, I think you would fight against the temptation more and more. Also, she would keep you busy by giving you a "honey-do" list too. When you are alone you are more than likely to give into that temptation, if you have a wife, though the temptation will still be there, you will still fail at times, but do believe it will be much less and eventually no struggle at all.
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twayneb
1Co 7:5-9
(5) Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
(6) But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
(7) For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
(8) I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
(9) But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
Paul seems to be speaking these things out of his own opinion, being allowed to do so by the Holy Spirit rather than out of commandment to write these things. He apparently saw great benefit in his own singleness. I can see how his single state was of great benefit in His calling as he traveled continually and was often in danger of losing his life. Not the sort of life to drag a wife and children into I would think. But if the unmarried or the widows find living a single life difficult due to the strong desire for a man or woman, it is better for them to marry. I don't think the context here is talking about marrying because a person has a lust problem, but rather marrying because of the strong desire for a spouse, although the desire for the sexual fulfillment of marriage is no doubt part of this desire for a spouse.
As to lust problems, I can tell you that this is one thing you do not want to drag into a marriage, and marriage will NOT cure such a problem. If you are a man or woman given to sexual lust, you need to find some very mature and trustworthy men or women (as the case may be) of God and bring that thing into the light for God to begin to deal with before you even think of going through with a marriage. There is little that is so destructive to a marriage as lust. Paul gives admonition about fornication and lust in other places that is very different in nature from, "go ahead and get married rather than live in lust". So I cannot see that in this instance Paul would tell people to get married as an alternative to living in lust. I think this deals more with a strong desire for a spouse which so many have. Remember God said it is not good for a man to be alone and instituted marriage.
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Koheleth
A man who is addicted to porn is not ready for marriage. First, marriage is not "porn substitute", as most seem to be implying in this thread. I got married as a non-Christian and can testify that getting married does not reduce your lust and probably won't effect your consumption of pornography (long term--you might hold off for the honeymoon).
Worse, you are committing a sin by saddling some poor woman with a porn-addicted man. The Scriptural answer is perfectly clear. Yes, it is better to marry than to burn. It does not say it is better to marry than to continue with porn. Burn means you are under self-control but struggling. Struggling does not mean failing, it means you are wrestling with temptation. Jesus and the apostles spoke extensively of self-control and sin. Marriage is not the answer to porn addiction. Deliverance is, which is the reason Jesus died.
If you are addicted to porn and are planning to get married, I suggest you get honest and discuss it thoroughly with your future spouse and prepare yourself if they choose to walk away. To do otherwise is dishonest and deceptive, meaning you have departed from Christ already.
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sermonindex
twayneb said
'As to lust problems, I can tell you that this is one thing you do not want to drag into a marriage, and marriage will NOT cure such a problem. If you are a man or woman given to sexual lust, you need to find some very mature and trustworthy men or women (as the case may be) of God and bring that thing into the light for God to begin to deal with before you even think of going through with a marriage. There is little that is so destructive to a marriage as lust. Paul gives admonition about fornication and lust in other places that is very different in nature from, "go ahead and get married rather than live in lust". So I cannot see that in this instance Paul would tell people to get married as an alternative to living in lust. I think this deals more with a strong desire for a spouse which so many have. Remember God said it is not good for a man to be alone and instituted marriage.'
This, and Koheleth's comments are right on the mark.
I would add on a note of translation, that 'lust' is the old word for 'deep desire'. It is not necessarily sinful to desire a spouse.
In fact, the whole business of finding a spouse is based upon the sexual attraction one feels for that person and they feel for you - which may be the last thing which becomes clear to two people in a longstanding close friendship - and without which NO marriage should be contemplated. If only one feels sexually attracted, then that's not enough for a marriage, and, that one should consider very carefully whether the 'friendship' with that other, can be glorifying to God if it is impure.
For a slightly different 'take' on this, in this short testimony by Jennie Meeten (with Polish translation), she shares how God challenged her about her allegiance to HIM, not through HER wandering heart or mind, but through the adulterous interest of another. I found it quite shocking!
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ginnyrose
I can tell you that this is one thing you do not want to drag into a marriage, and marriage will NOT cure such a problem. If you are a man or woman given to sexual lust, you need to find some very mature and trustworthy men or women (as the case may be) of God and bring that thing into the light for God to begin to deal with before you even think of going through with a marriage. There is little that is so destructive to a marriage as lust.
Amen! Travis.
I would guess the reason most marriages fail is because of lust which began while still single that have never been brought under the Blood of Jesus. We have seen in our own brotherhood brethren who had problems with porn that began in childhood. Had it not been for the intervention of concerned brethren, who knows where that marriage would have gone...Still, given the fact that we believe in a covenant marriage, it would likely have stayed intact if the offending partner would have wanted it but the trust would have been destroyed.
Jesus came to clean up dirty, filthy folks - some just require a harder scrubbing then others. All one has to do is submit to it. Most of the time we enjoy our sins too much to do so - doesn't matter what sin it is.
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sermonindex
'some just require a harder scrubbing then others'
Um.... really?
Surely you're not serious?
(1 John 1:7 seems to include all of us.)
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Koheleth
Alive-to-God said:
'some just require a harder scrubbing then others' Um.... really? Surely you're not serious? (1 John 1:7 seems to include all of us.)
Didn't see anything in the post that violates 1 John 1:7, unless you are reading it differently. Naturally, depending on how much dirt we have wallowed in, by analogy some require harder "scrubbing". Let's not make this a theological debate.
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Christinyou
There is only one way to cleanse the flesh, it must die, or else flesh and blood could enter the Kingdom of Heaven. It cannot and the flesh must die and be planted in the ground and come forth a new and living flesh and bone body like that of Jesus Christ. Then we can enter the kingdom of Heaven bodily. We have already entered it in spirit, for we now have the Holy Spirit and the Spirit of Christ in us and seated in the heavenlies with Christ.
No matter how much we wash the flesh it must die. We overcome this in our lives daily by walking in the Spirit of which I wish I could do 24-7, I am better than I was, but not better than I want to be. Like Paul; Romans 7:21-25 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.
In Christ: Phillip
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sermonindex
I would guess the reason most marriages fail is because of lust which began while still single that have never been brought under the Blood of Jesus.
Here is another classic quote (ignorantly spoken, we all say it), certain sins having not been put under the blood.
Either His blood covers all or it doesn't at all.
All our sins have been put under the blood, the right wording is that we have not surrendered that thing under the reality that Christ died for our sins and having died we died with Him. We GREATLY lack the understanding to reckon ourselves to be dead indeed unto sin and not to remain under the bondage of a besetting sin.
Someone also said in a recent post in this thread that we need to die. We speak eloquent words when we use these terminologies but no one can give an explanation on how to go about such a feat. It's easy to quote scripture, and quoting the shadowy scriptures does not bring victory, only the Holy Spirit bringing to life the meaning of the letter will we see the light. Many are left to themselves with these cliches and one liners having no knowledge as to what in the world it all means. It's definitely an experience and more importantly growing in grace and in the knowledge of Jesus Christ. See, I have done the same thing. I've quoted a passage and leave nothing as to what that knowledge is that we must grow.
If the knowledge of Jesus Christ is what we debate over in these forums, it's not worth it because it sets nothing free. The mind is in turmoil with doing this that and the other.
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sermonindex
I rarely see God intervening on man's behalf in satisfying a lustful relationship with porn by giving him a wife.
I don't think this is a fair statement to automatically lump someone who struggles with lust into the same camp as someone who struggles with lust AND pornography. Lust existed long before pornography.
It's perfectly possible to struggle with lust towards the opposite sex and not be addicted to, or even a user of pornography.
Being that guys are filled with testosterone and quite prone to a more physical drive (if you will), I can see Paul saying that a wife could give a man an outlet for this "burning desire" so he wouldn't be tempted to fulfill it somewhere sinful instead.
Lust is a sin. Pornography is a sin. Having testosterone is not.
Paul was referring to men who were not married, who were finding themselves in houses of ill fame and he was telling them, "look, get married, it's better for you be with one woman than to cruise broadway trying to fulfill that burning urge."
I also do NOT think Paul was referring to men (and women too, who were included into this statement from the preceding verse) who were cruising brothels. I really don't think that he would have mixed words when referring to burning with passion vs committing fornication. Also, if Paul would suggest that marriage would be given as a fix for hitting up cat houses, why would it then be stated that it would be unlikely that God would fix a porn addiction with a wife (which by the way, I also do not believe He would do)?
I think Paul might have just been stating what it looks like he was stating. If you think that your physical drive could get you into any sort of sin, it's better to get married and have a God ordained outlet for such a drive, instead of trying to just repress it and live with a terrible burning and potential lust. Guys will understand that it's probably one of the hardest things to battle against, especially the younger ones.
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sermonindex
'I really don't think that he would have mixed words when referring to burning with passion vs committing fornication.'
Yes, because this is in a letter to Christians. There is an assumption that they know the difference between the idolatry of fornication (unclean), and that change of heart which now thirsts for righteousness and has the desire to worship God, wherein there is a 'right' way to fulfil natural God-ordained sexual maturity.
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