Homeschooling Families

Hi there,

We homeschool our daughter and I was wondering if there were any other homeschooling families here on sermon index.

I would love to connect with other homeschooling moms.

If there are any out there please contact me by pm.

Through Him only

There are I think a few families that homeschool their children here on SI. I homeschool my boys.

God Bless
maryjane

We homeschool our children as well. Blessings!

god bless you all for doing this for you children

I'm a home-schooled graduate and loved it all the way through. Yes, thank the Lord for the sacrifice and effort homeschooling parents exert to give us something they didn't have!

It is also helpful toward the goal as one person said, We want our ceiling to be our children's floor. In other words, the highest place that we can get to, we want our children to start there. Amen!

And we....

Hello again :)

It would be neat to be able to encourage each other.
I have emailed a few people who pm'd me.

I love sermonindex & the people I have met here and would love to meet other like minded believers who are homeschooling.

As I mentioned to a few through pm's. I am struggling at the moment with my daughter, she is 5 years old. She seems to be rebellious & not wanting to follow the Lord.

We are doing everything we could possibly do. We do family devotions every night. As an only child, she hears and listens to us speaking of God all the time.

It is our heart's desire for her to love the Lord and honour Him.

We continue to pray for her, with her and on her own.

She is growing resentful and argues with everything.

This week was discouraging as I wondered whether homeschooling her is contributing to this rebelling & perhaps we should be looking at sending her to school. Maybe we are doing her an injustice by keeping her at home...maybe being homeschooled is not working out for us.

It is difficult with an only child as we feel we are stuck in "first child syndrome". Sometimes I wonder whether I play/interact too much with her, then other times wonder if I am not "focusing on her" properly. How much is too much and how much is too little? Then I wonder if I have blurred the lines between parent/child by being too involved. Because she is our only chance we want to do the very best for the Lord and not stuff this up :)

In my heart I often catch myself at celebrations (when it is just the 3 of us) or just sitting at the table for dinner...feeling like our family isn't "complete". (I have serious hip/pelvis problem which means conceiving again could leave me crippled...so we have had to make the difficult decision to limit our family due to this).

If anyone has any advice or encouragement I would so appreciate it.

Thank you so much!
Through Him only,

Proverbs 13:24
"He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

Sounds like she needs a spanking when she rebels, argues, resents, or disobeys.

she is 5 years old. She seems to be rebellious & not wanting to follow the Lord.

She is only five years old?? and you expect her to follow the LORD at this point?

I am a first born, was an only child for five years and was taught to obey from young up. Disobedience meant a whipping from either mom or dad and I survived it to become a mom of five and then I repeated the process.

Sherid, seems to me your daughter does not know who is boss - it may almost be too late, but you have a problem that homeschooling cannot fix - it goes much deeper then that. It may be you have a strong - willed child that will buck you at every turn. If this is the case, you are required to be more stubborn then she and be creative in how you work to break that stubborn will.

One of our children was stubborn, spanking did not seem to do much until I did a very unconventional thing. I picked that child up, took him to the bathtub and turned the cold water on him; clothes and all got wet! That got his attention and he did not like it - had to do it only a few times.

Many modern parents eschew corporal punishment but resort to reasoning with a child, appealing to his logical sense, hoping he will in turn want to obey. This kind of reasoning is corrupt to the core. This assumes a child is good at the core and you are appealing to this nature. A child is not good at the core: he is selfish, as selfish can be and it is up to the parent to teach him otherwise. This causes parents to become very frustrated with parenting and the child.

Now, I do not know whether this is the case with you, but the fact that a five year old is demonstrating such rebellion is cause for alarm. I do not know what child-training lit you have been reading, but I do suggest you study the scriptures, take notes about what it says about children and a parent's responsibility to them. And pray like you never have before.

I suppose I sound rough...but children need to know who is boss, and that beyond any shadow of a doubt. And this means it is ok to be mean in the child's eyes. You are not called to be its friend, you are called to be the parent; big difference between being a friend and a parent!

Yes, parenting is challenging, I know. Those of us who have passed through this cycle of life are thankful for the era when the body becomes physically incapable of reproducing!

God bless...

I have 5 kids that we homeschool and yes we do spank.

Just hang in there, trust the Lord, children belong to the Lord. Mark 10:13,14

"I am struggling at the moment with my daughter, she is 5 years old. She seems to be rebellious & not wanting to follow the Lord."

She won't either, children are funny creatures that I have yet to figure out though I once was one. Children are natural being and unfortunately that means their natural state of sin is in them Ie Rebellion and Selfishness. I say this not to discourage you but to encourage you, God will have her, keep praying for her.

I believe something that is SOOO important in raising little ones is this, many times we see Godly parents with ungodly children. Why? because many parents simply teach their children the motions of Christianity, I know that is what I learned. I found this just because I knew how to pray the right way didn't mean I had a relationship with the Father, and just because I read my bible didn't give me a relationship with the Father.

No, it was when I found that I was totally depraved and hellbound that Christ grabbed me from the pit and placed me on Solid Ground and by Faith I now have a relationship with Christ.

I also had a friend who was homeschooled and though it was a godly home as soon as the reigns of his father's authority came off in college my friend went off into the deep end. Mearly teaching our children about God isn't enough but we must introduce our Children to God and as sad as it is the Child has to want to be invited and meet with God, if you are forsing your child into Christianity you are fighting a losing battle. Because though they may submit now when they get older they will rebel with all their might, it's in their nature.

My only suggestion in this is to Love your daughter as I know you do, and though she is young plead with her and teach her and show her what it means to have a relationship with Christ, and this is to say nothing of your character or parenting but Children often play Monkey see, Monkey do.

Go to this link:

http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=10206161156

From the above link:

Is the present system of public education Godly or Godless?

Can a Christian remain faithful to God and His law and still send his children to such a system or does this necessarily involve sin?

And why or why not?

The application (or general equity) of the principles enumerated here can often be applied to other areas of life also. Public schools have been singled out because, as the Earl of Athlone (Governor General of Canada from 19401946), said,

'To this day there exists in the world in all classes of society a veritable revolt against Divine Law, the Moral Law, which they strive to eliminate from the education of its youth and government of its nations. Education without religion sooner or later marches to its doom.'

Furthermore, Martin Luther has pointed out the extreme importance of this question, when he stated,

'I am afraid that the schools will prove the very gates of hell, unless they diligently labor in explaining the Holy Scriptures and engraving them in the heart of the youth.'

Also, there is no doubt that the 'public schools have become the established church of secular society.'

Moreover, as evidenced by the words of our LORD in Luke 17:12, this is not an issue to be taken lightly. 'For a church or for parents,' says Rushdoony, 'to have no regard for the fact that their children are receiving a godless education is a mark of apostasy.'

You may also like to read:

http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Family/public_schools_are_evil.htm

http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=42704

We dont even act that way as adults when God disciplines us! Here is where a lot of newer parents (and older parents) miss it... every parent thinks THEIR child is exceptionally brilliant, exceptionally good looking and exceptionally athletic. Christian parents are worse because you can throw in there that they think THEIR child is also exceptionally spiritual. The fact is that at best the average kid is just that: average. They are not all that bright, they look just like their ugly parents, they are clumsy and out of shape... and as far as the spiritual side of things... according to the Bible they are born wretches. The sooner parents get a handle on these facts the easier it will be to "train up a child in the way they should go".

Kids are sinners in the first degree. Totally depraved until God does a work of regeneration in their hearts. But until then...

Excellent post, Krispy!

I often wish I would have known 43 years ago when our first child was born what I do now! The older I get the less tolerant I become of childhood foolishness. I am not talking about childlishness; I am talking about rebellion, stubbornness. It resides in the heart of all children - some are just more aggressive in their expression of it. Let me share an incident....

Years ago we took care of our two oldest grands while their dad went off for a vacation. The youngest was 21 months old. He was a whiner that drove all of us C.R.A.Z.Y. - including his two uncles and his grandma and grandpa. We could not please him. It was whine, whine. One day - and I am certain this inspiration came from the LORD - I decided I will no longer tolerate this whining. I put the child into his playpen, set it in the middle of the office and closed the door. I had made sure the child was not hungry, his diaper was dry and that in no way could he harm himself. I decided if he wants to whine, he does not have to do it in my presence. He kept it up for some time. (Now, moms are very keen to sounds, we know when it is normal or not...) Eventually, he quit. I let him be this way for a little while then I went into the room to see how he was doing (in the meantime I did peek in on him, unknown to him). He sat there, looked at me. His eyes met mine, his eyes followed every move I made and so it was for the rest of his stay with us. He was a lovable child and we enjoyed him. But for once he would look at us in the eye. Until this point he acted like he was in a frenzy, refused to look at us in the eyes.

BTW, when his dad returned, he resorted to his manipulation...and his dad had no clue. And the mother? she had died when he was 9 months old.

It takes a ton of inspiration from the Holy Spirit to be able to do the right thing. Too many times we are too busy with life to consider this important aspect of parenting.
Yup, been there done that - made too many mistakes myself....

God bless....

Dear Sherid,
Everything Miss Ginny and Krispy said.

Somebody [bless them, Lord!] posted a link here on SI to a site I found most helpful. I have a willful 3 year old boy who's learning who's the boss.

He's mostly obedient but every once in a while, he likes to 'push the envelope'. These days, he finds the swift sword of justice waiting on the other side his endeavor! Now, my older friends comment on how much calmer he is! Blessed be God!!

The tract is titled, 'The Christian Mother'. It was written by John Abbot in 1883 [Can you believe it?] on practical help on Godly parenting.

http://www.gracegems.org/19/Abott_mother.htm

I've sent prints to friends with li'l ones too.

I hope you find it helpful too.

Before I read the tract, I thought i was doing a decent job. I was faintly aware my son wasn't as obedient as i should. I was making the grand error of comparing him to other 3 year old boys....bad idea. There is but one standard; the Word of God.

Once my eyes were opened, things have become very different in our household. These days, I'm not anxious about taking him on errands with me because I know he'll do as i say. I couldn't do that before.

There's still hope for your little girl. Your soul must not spare for her crying. She needs to come under discipline....quickly. You can do it. The book has very practical means to aid us, modern mothers, in our quest to raise happy children.

I look forward to hearing your testimony of pervading peace and calm with your girl in the near future.

Hi Ginnyrose,

I have just sent you a pm.
Thank you so much for your advice.

In Him

I was also homeschooled. I went to public school in kindergarten and first grade and then my mom pulled me out. That was... 18 years ago I think and the reason she pulled me out is that they were already teaching about homosexuality. My mom nearly went through the roof when she found out. So she pulled me out. I am so grateful she did. Sometimes I resented it because I was so lonely, but I am a better person because of it. And it doesn't even bother me now that I don't have any close friends. My two younger sisters are also homeschooled. Mom's finishing off the last one, who's 15. My mom offered to put us into public highschool and all of us have declined. Just didn't want to go through that.

Now I have a question for those who are older and have homeschooled teenagers. My younger sister is 15 and sometimes she is very rebellious. It has calmed a lot lately, however she is a very good liar and sneaks behind my mom's back and gets music that isn't allowed in the house and looks at things online that she shouldn't be looking at. My mom has confronted her numerous times and it helps, but only for a while. Is it too late? What would some of you do or have done?
As her older sister I feel helpless, except to pray for her. The worldly girls in the youth group are really influencing her with horrid (I mean HORRID) secular music and vampire websites and books, etc. When it got really bad I told my mom to not let her go to youth group for a while, get her away from those influences, but she was sure that it would push my sister farther away.
What would you guys have done? My dad isn't a Christian so he is absolutely out of the picture as far as discipline goes.

Part 1:
Thanks to all the wonderful people who gave their advice.

I am really thankful. I explained to Ginnyrose in a pm that we're living on a small island with only 8,000 people. We belong to a small home church 2 other couples and we are the only homeschoolers here in the country at present.

Comparing my daughter to the other families children here on the island makes her behav. look great. I have yet to find a family with any obedient children yet.

I had other Christians we know here, telling me that my daughter's behav. was fine but I knew that this was not right. I knew that there was a rebellion problem that we were not dealing with.

I know why now: I spent the entire weekend reading through the Bible verses on child training & obedience. I also picked up a book called, "What the bible says about...child training". It has really helped.

The bible, together with this book and Matthew Henry's commetary have completely opened our eyes.

We see know that we had no fear of God or understanding about authority as parents and also knowing that we are accountable to God for this. We have let little things slip which have contributed to our daughter continuing to have no honour for us. We knew she has been born selfish and rebellious, but as was mentioned, we thought our daughter wasn't like those "rebellious" children LOL! How mistaken we were.

....to be continued in part 2

Part 2
We have now begun a zero tolerance for any rebellion.
Whether it is in her outwards actions or in her heart (which is easy to see in a 5 yr old).

We have started to build clear cut boundaries and stop the confusion about our authority.

Here are some of the things I learnt this weekend:

1. Children are a gift, even though a child comes genetically from their parents, God is the source of every child's essence. (they are on loan to us from God)

2. They need to be trained up, not in the way they would go, but in the way they should go.

3. Training requires that you teach them & that your teaching is accepted. Before your child will receive instructions, she must first honour your position.

4. Leviticus 19:3, "Every man should fear his mother and father." (to morally fear , to revere (regard with fear mingled with respect & affection)).

5. Honouring parents means,
- it is not for children to stand in the parent's way, sit in their place, not to contradict what the parents says, not to find fault with what the parents says, not to call the parent by name.

6. Proverbs 30:17 says, "As for the eye that ridicules a father and despises obedience to a mother, may ravens of the valley pluck it out and young vultures eat it."

7. Those that are dishonouring to their parents bring upon themselves curse and punishment from God. (hence why they had the death penalty as penalty for children being disobedient in the OT)

8. Many who have come to a disgraceful end have been inflicted...this infliction began as a result of their contempt for their parent's authority.

**one of things we explained to our daughter was that if she pretended to honour/respect us that God would see directly into her heart. If is wasn't genuine honouring then God rejects it, if the heart is rebellious.

9. Parents have a God given authority to rule over their children. No father or mother should ever allow disrespect to be shown towards them.

God has given the parents the position and the right to rule children and all the power necessary to succeed in training their children according to God's plan.

part 3 continued...

Part 3:

10. Parents are accountable directly to God for how they rule their children.

11. A Parent's word is to be treated like the 'law' to a child.

"Children obey your parents in all things."
(Colossians 3:20)

12. There's a difference betw. submission and obedience.
Submissision = attitude of voluntary acceptance of authority.
Obedience = compliance with authority whether the subjects wills it or not.
(WOW!! This was huge for us :):)

13. Parents have explicit instruction in the Bible to teach their children information consistent with the Word of God.

...so this is where I am up to so far...
wow, have our eyes been opened to God's will for raising our daughter.

It's like a huge burden has been lifted for us, and the boundaries are being established.

I am so thankful to the Lord,

Thank you all again,
In Him only

LOL, the prayer is assumed. Just like completely leaning on the Lord for guidance to get through :)

Hi Carters
I was going to suggest a certain book but you've done better and used the Bible to find your answers, may God bless you for this, you're doing the right thing.

We've raised two daughters and I found the following things helpful (now that I can look back and see what worked):

We made a distinction between the things of absolute importance and the less important things. You spoke of "zero tolerance", well, we applied that to where it really mattered (i.e. respectful talking, honesty). On the other hand we tried to remember that they were just children and weren't hard on them for stuff like getting muddy or forgetting their homework but allowed for natural consequences. We had a clear understanding of what constituted as absolutely unacceptable in our family and discipline was chosen accordingly.

Also, we tried to differenciate between childish misbehaviour and defiance. Misbehaviour is about an issue at hand: you want one thing(child to eat her meal), the child another(wanting ice cream),so she might fuss. It can be dealt with by simply leaving the room ("I will not listen to your fussing") or letting her go hungry. But defiance is when it's no longer about an issue but about who is in charge and the child willfully challenges your authority. For example by yeling "NO!" at you or look you in the eyes with a smile while pushing her plate with food off the table. Personally I would reserve a spanking for the act of defiance only, but do so every time without fail. Ideally the effect will be that you hardly ever need to do it because she knows her place.

Enjoy the gift of God and keep in mind how prescious she is to Him :)

Sherid,

I think you are on the right track! Many have given you excellent advice.

Julius said:

Raising kids is 95% training the parents (re-training) and 5% training the kids.

One time I told our oldest son, now 43 YO, that I do wonder who is training who: the parents the children or the children the parents? He suggested it works both ways.

When you have children a few things happen:

1. Your ideals concerning human behavior are challenged and proven to be seriously flawed.

2. Your childrens behavior reflect your worst nature.

3. They are each unique. What works for one child will not for another.

4. Your carnal nature is rudely exposed.

5. Your carnal nature is rudely exposed.

6. You learn that you are so dependent on the LORD for any success in raising children.

As I reflect on our parenting and our approach, I can now understand some of the things that really worked to hinder and hurt.

As a new mom who was eager to do the right thing at all times, I devoured child-training lit. We would have been better off had we never read anything. Back then Benjamin Spock was famous for his writings on how to raise children. While he was not a God-fearing person, there were 'Christians' who took his ideas and 'Christianized' them to make them acceptable to Christian parents.

One point was how one should work to reason with the child when he is reluctant to obey. This comes from the pit! Children should be taught to obey even if they do not understand the reasons. Same with us in our relationship with God.

(BTW, Spock, in his last days refuted his advice on child-training. He said his writings did more to intimidate parents - they would have been better off following their own instincts!)

Anyhow, Sherid, I think you are going to get there...it is amazing how the LORD is teaching you - but then what else would you expect when someone is an eager student?

God bless!

ginnyrose

Opps! triple post - deleted two of them

ginnyrose

Opps! triple post

Ginny... your oldest is 43?? Wow, I am 43!

You are right! and I had that figured out some time ago when you mentioned your age.

Want to hear another one? My 'baby' is the same age as Greg Gordan! Reckon he likes to be compared to a baby? lol Now our youngest is tall - 11 inches taller then his mom! - but not as tall as Greg.

Glad you survived your heart attack...I am sure your family considers that a blessing!

Mama-Ginny (!)

PS: BTW, our oldest grand is a pretty 17 YO! :-)