Am I broken?

I don't really know how to explain it but I find it particularly hard to share my faith with someone one on one. Am I broken?

I have no problem sharing my faith with a large group of people like preaching on Sunday morning or through music which is what I am most comfortable with. There have also been times in my life that I could easily share my story or my testimony of Christ in my life with others.

I have just been kicking this around in my head for a while as to whether or not I am simply a coward or if its Satan trying to bring condemnation down on me.

Ok, so from what i see in your post, it's not Christians vs. Unbelievers but one-on-one vs. large groups; you only feel comfortable sharing it with groups, not individuals (be they Christians or non-Christians). Correct?

If that is the case, you are very unusual; most people are more uncomfortable standing up in front of groups.

I think only you know the answer to this one.

I guess it would depend on the setting like I don't think I could stand on a box and preach the gospel like a Street Evangelist. I actually love preaching though, its something the Lord blessed me with and I desire to use it for His glory.

I know a part of my problem is the approval of men, the need to be accepted, or whatever you want to call it. Funny thing is though when I preach I generally don't hold anything back not really caring what people thing and I give all credit to the Lord for that.

I also have shared my faith at concerts that weren't particularly in a "Christian setting" something about music that eases me and makes me comfortable with opening up. Its kind of strange to me really because I am not a people person that goes up to strangers talking about Christ Jesus but my wife is she is such a wonderful people person and does it with ease and I envy her ability to do that and she isn't a public speaker or good with large groups. So in that sense we are opposite and we have learned a lot from each other.

Brother,

You are not broken because your gifting is not one-on-one evangelism any more than a different brother is not broken becuase he is not gifted to preach.

It may be comforting to know that many preachers are quiet men in their personal lives. I remember overhearing a post-conference conversation with Henry Blackaby where he stated to the attendee that he was a very shy man. (And this brother has preached in filled baseball stadiums!) The same is true of Richard Owen Roberts; very quiet.

I'm glad you mentioned that your wife is quite outgoing. It is not uncommon for one spouse to be more extroverted than the other. Let me guess; you probably enjoying reading and studying don't you? There are certain common threads amongst the various personality types.

If you feel a burden to witness to a particular soul, then pray for God's grace and follow the Spirit's leading but don't fret because this type of ministry is not your strong suite; it is simply how God has made you. Exercise your gifts and bring Him glory. You will find a lot of peace and comfort simply being who God made you to be.

Blessings on your preaching and music outreach!

Grace and peace,
Matthew