If a person is divorced and remarried, are they living in a perpetually adulterous relationship?
Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
I was divorced and remarried about 8 years ago. This is my husband's second marriage as well. I would have said that I was born again when I remarried but I was deceiving myself. I never truly repented until the past few years. I had a lady from my church call me a couple of years ago and tell me that I must repent of the sin of adultery by leaving my husband and remaining unmarried. I prayed and searched the scriptures and decided that God's grace covers even the sin of divorce. It comes up in my heart a lot and I pray I am not deceiving myself. I want to live an fully repented and obedient life. I'd appreciate input from the mature saints here.
question about divorce and remarriage
This is one of those explosive topics that always ends in verbal spats on here. I'm going to refrain from my view of this. Google "marriage, divorce and remarriage" you will find a wealth of resourses. I have had to work through this my self....having a "wife" who is at present divorcing me. Seek and you will find, is His promise. The Lord will confirm His word to you as you seek His will on your knees.
1Co 7:20 Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.
1Co 7:24 Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.
I begin with The Word of Grace and Truth:
John 1:17 For the Law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.
John 1:14 And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.
Q. "If a person is divorced and remarried, are they living in a perpetually adulterous relationship?"
A. NO!
A lawfully(i.e. God's Law)divorced person has no wife/husband. Such persons are not married.
Therefore,if they marry they have not sinned nor are they living in a perpetually adulterous relationship.
Rome may say to the contrary, but we are not romans who follow the Pope and her abominations taught by her. We are christians who follow Christ and are taught of God.
"I had a lady from my church call me a couple of years ago and tell me that I must repent of the sin of adultery by leaving my husband and remaining unmarried."
This lady from your church needs to repent for telling you to leave your husband.
When legalistic emphasis is placed on the divorce law at the expense of showing mercy to the divorced, then we find ourselves in the same legalism Jesus repeatedly condemned in the Pharisees. The person should be preeminent in the consideration, not simply a prescription about divorce and remarriage.
All divorces are merely the ultimate result which is due to man's sin. God hates the sins which lead to divorce as it reveals the corruption of the heart of man just as God hates the sins of the corrupt heart which leads a man to love money, but He does not hate money itself, as it has no sinfulness inherent of itself (a study of the original Greek language used in Malachi 2:16 and the context of the same would reveal something very different from what has been taught from this text).
The truth is that the divorce law was/is a display of God's mercy because of the hardness of men's hearts.
Marriage was made for man not man for marriage.
I know a man who asked Zac Poonen that same question(above)you've asked and below is the reply Zac Poonen gave.
(I am including this from Zac Poonen,not because I agree with everything that he says in this because some of what he says here I do not agree with,but because many will be surprised at his reply).
"We don't have any case of divorced couples in our church in 27 years - not even one. We just don't have to deal with such situations in India. This is one of the blessings of being in a poor country.
God accepts certain things in this world that are the result of man's sinful actions, even though God does not endorse them Himself. Divorce is one such thing. Each case of divorce must be dealt with individually but where children are involved, God permits some things, because the alternative would involve a lot of suffering for the children.
I don't believe you are living in adultery, because when your wife was was divorced by her first husband, neither of them were believers. So she was not under grace or the new covenant (that is under Jesus' teaching).
All those who have not come under the new covenant are under the old covenant - under which divorce was permitted (Deut. 24:1-5; Matt.19:8).
Stay with your wife and bring up the children in the fear of God. Now that you are saved, you have to think of your children and you cannot make them suffer (by you both separating from each other) because of the past history that either of you may have. Put the past behind you under the blood of Jesus and press on in to the future without any sense of condemnation.
God has a plan for your life. May you both fulfil it."
The Lord bless you.
Zac Poonen
I end with The Word of Grace and Truth and Love:
2 John 1:3 Grace, mercy, peace will be with you from God the Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love.
You are going to get an avalanche of people’s takes of the Bible on this issue, but it will be you AND THE HOLY SPIRIT who will have to decipher this (hopefully along with your husband).
I absolutely do NOT believe that Jesus wants to tear up another family with yet another divorce just to remarry the first one, this is illogical on so many levels but believe it or not, there is a cult following of people who do believe this. So I have a question for you....
Did Jesus tell the Samaritan woman to leave the man she was “living with” to return to her first husband? Or could he have meant return to her second husband? Hmmm? Maybe we got the Scriptures wrong and he said for her to return to her third husband... fourth??? Nope! He said, “NEITHER DO I CONDEMN THEE: GO, AND SIN NO MORE.”
Logically speaking, this would have been the PERFECT opportunity (place) for Jesus to have told a "divorced" person to return to the first spouse; but lo and behold.... guess what? It’s not there. But there are those who won't stop "adding unto these things," (Rev 22.18).
myallinall wrote:
I prayed and searched the scriptures and decided that God's grace covers even the sin of divorce. It comes up in my heart a lot and I pray I am not deceiving myself. I want to live an fully repented and obedient life. I'd appreciate input from the mature saints here.
This issue does need to be addressed and you need to feel secure in God’s redeeming love and grace so that you will stop allowing the enemy to bring this up in your heart b/c where there is doubt, he has a foothold.
1 John 4.17-18 .... By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the Day of Judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
God bless you, Lori
Lisa
What is repentance? Feeling sorry about something or changing your ways?
Luke 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
Death do us part? A promise?
Are there different commandments for the lost and saved? Or just one commandment, God's, that applies to everyone?
"Nope! He said, “NEITHER DO I CONDEMN THEE: GO, AND SIN NO MORE.”
That's the key... go and sin no more.
Back in the OT, those great men like King David were polygamous and adulterous to the point of death but they were overlooked, unless one will say that King David is lost.
The question "What happens when someone has been married and divorced before they got saved?"
It will be overlooked and these will apply:
1Co 7:17 But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all churches.
1Co 7:24 Each in whatever way he was called, brothers, in this remain with God.
Go and sin no more...don't commit another divorce and remarry again.
I always find that when these kind of questions come up it's always wise to refrain from offering my opinions on it, and to refrain from interpretting scripture for others on this matter.
3 reasons:
1) I'm not 100% sure what the answer is because this is quite a grey area...and neither can anyone else on here be 100% sure. We can take several scriptures and proove one point, but then other passages seem to point in another direction.
2) We're dealing with people's families, and probably with children as well. We dont know all the factors and everything involved... and when dealing with families I think it's foolish to offer advice when not 100% sure.
3) We're dealing with souls as well.
Krispy
So you have been born again only in the past few years? It would seem you now have a third marriage within your second marriage. As a believer you are subject to your current husbands. Christ first, and by serving him you will now be the godly wife of your other husband (by the second marriage). If God's grace isn't applicable in this case, then none will be left standing. Now you have the testimony that the second and third marriages are for life!
Myallinall
Have you spoke to your Husband and the Pastor about this as you shouldn't face this battle of condemnation alone...
Satan is the enforcer of the law, you should ignore the accusing voices of guilt as condemnation is ALWAYS from the evil one
Remember what Jesus said. "Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more"
A believer that is divorced and remarried will not inherit the kingdom but they do not lose there eternal life.
For the 1000 year rule of Christ they will be in outer darkness becouse they did not take up there cross and lose this life to gain the life of Christ.
After Christ gives His rule to the Father it becomes the Kingdom of the Father, the believers that were cast out of the 1000 year rule of Christ will be restored.
We can lose reward!!!
Please read 1Cor3:11-23 before any tear me up for what I have spoken.
That sounds like "purgatory" and the unsaved are thrown into outer darkness until the day of judgement.
"the sons of the kingdom" that Jesus was referring to in Matt 8 was his reply to the religious jews compared to the faith of the centurian.
Matt 22 is another example that has nothing whatsoever to do with "saved" people and neither does Matt 25.
Don't know where you got that teaching - but it's dangerous.
To be absent from the body is to be present with The LORD. No Purgatory.
Sorry but to say Matt 22 AND Matt 25 are not for saved people is very dangerous.
Dont put words in peoples mouths I do not believe in pugatory just losing rewards.
outer darkness is what Peter fell into when he denied Christ.He wept bitterly outside the camp because he did not like the cross.
Thank you for all of your replies. They have been helpful. As for losing a reward, I have no concern. I don't deserve one. My only fear is offending my precious Jesus who I love with all of my being. My other love is my unsaved husband who I am praying for. ( he was reading the Bible this morning!) Love and blessings to all of you, Lori
Quote: """A believer that is divorced and remarried will not inherit the kingdom but they do not lose there eternal life."""
Where did this come from? This is mans salvation still trying to work his way into the kingdom, which is impossible and circumvents the Cross of Christ and His work in us after we are born again of the incorruptable
Seed of the Father, putting another person in us, The Son of God making all the Father has birthed joint hiers with Christ to His kingdom, His Church, the Body of Christ.
In Christ: Phillip
cryinthenite - These two verses below also contain the same destination of the unsaved, that is also called "outer darkness" in those other verses.
It's a 'destination' that is after life - where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth - forever.
2Pe 2:17 These are wells without water, clouds that are carried with a tempest; to whom the mist of darkness is reserved for ever.
Jud 1:1213 These are spots in your feasts of charity, when they feast with you, feeding themselves without fear: clouds they are without water, carried about of winds; trees whose fruit withereth, without fruit, twice dead, plucked up by the roots; raging waves of the sea, foaming out their own shame; wandering stars, to whom is reserved the blackness of darkness for ever.
I know what you are trying to say but those verses are to believers who have turned away from the cross.
Peter is a type.
The word you use for "fOREVER" speakes of an age.
Blackness of darkness is for the enemies of the cross of Christ that have gone beyond wicked and lazy service.
2 Pet and Jude are for the saved.
I just ask that you all think about it thats all.
With what you have said. I think you are of the correct frame of mind, and that the Lord is seeking you and your Husband as a couple. You can't keep going back to the past. Of course you may, but with prayer, each time the Lord can reassure you and strenthen you, assuring you of his love for you.
You love the Lord and want your husband to know him. Bless you sister. You are under the precious blood of our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ! His work was complete on the cross.
Please know that the Lord wants to encourage you and reach your husband too. His voice is one of encouragement.
Burdens are lifted at Calvary
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RerKOSHq6Q0
I'm going to pray for you both.
Lori, I thank God for your new life in Christ and will ask that God open up your husbands heart as He did yours. Your sin was forgiven (all of it) being as you know, washed in the very blood of Christ our God and Savior.
Nat.12:31-32
And so I tell you , every sin and blasphemy, will be forgiven men, but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. Anyone who speaks a wotd against the son of man will be forgiven, but anyone who spraks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.
Saints all sins, save one, have been forgiven at the cross. That sin that is not forgiven is not divorce but blaspheming the Holy Spirit. Again the unpardonable sin is attributing the work of the Spirit to the devil, not divorce.
Blaine
martyr.... Matt 12:31 says "Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men...." Not have been forgiven. One must first repent and ask forgiveness forsaking his sin. Since I'm here putting my two cents in...some one explain to me why Jesus would include wife in the list of forsaken things/people in Matt 19. Is it possible his was encouraging forsaking a wife...if so under what circumstances...just sayin..
Enochh wrote:
Since I'm here putting my two cents in...some one explain to me why Jesus would include wife in the list of forsaken things/people in Matt 19. Is it possible his was encouraging forsaking a wife...if so under what circumstances...just sayin..
I know that you didn't ask me so please forgive me... (lol)
Matthew 19:27-30 in context....
Then Peter said in reply, “See, we have left everything and followed you. What then will we have?” Jesus said to them, “Truly, I say to you, in the new world, when the Son of Man will sit on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first. (ESV and wife isn't it this version)
No, I don’t believe that this alludes at all to Jesus encouraging forsaking your wife.
More Christians need to study the Jewish perspective of women.... they took (and take) care of them; they really, really look down on any man who doesn't take care of his wife and family.
God bless,
Lisa
I woke up at about 4:30 this morning and the Lord's presence was overwhelming. Going through my mind was the cross, the cross, the cross, everything is the cross, everything is about the cross, everything was finished at the cross...Calvary...burdens are lifted... I am forgiven, He has forgiven me, my sin has been washed from His memory. Through the blood of the Lamb... It is more of an offense to doubt the sufficiency of the cross than any sin I could commit. Remain as I am(married), cling to the cross with all my being...This went on for about an hour while I washed the feet of my Savior with my tears. It is finished. I will never doubt the sufficiency of the cross as this is an offense to my precious Lord.
myallinall wrote:
I am forgiven, He has forgiven me, my sin has been washed from His memory. Through the blood of the Lamb... It is more of an offense to doubt the sufficiency of the cross than any sin I could commit. Remain as I am(married), cling to the cross with all my being...This went on for about an hour while I washed the feet of my Savior with my tears. It is finished. I will never doubt the sufficiency of the cross as this is an offense to my precious Lord.
To God be all the glory!! To GOD be all the glory!! Praise HIS holy name!
God bless you,
Lisa
PS: The Lord will win your husband!
What happens to the person like me that had no choice in my divorce? wife filed and shocked the whole family, am I just left hung out to dry and burn in hell if I were to remarry for something I had no control over? Personally, I think God has to somehow evaluate each divorce individually, but I just don't know.
Mr. Bill, Your post breaks my heart. I've been waiting for someone much more mature in the Lord to answer you but it hasn't happened yet and I feel like your question at least needs acknowledged. I know that the Bible says, "We know that all things work together for good to them that love God and are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28). It also says, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart: and lean not unto thine own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6). When I married the first time I was not seeking the Lord and ended up in an abusive relationship which almost destroyed my life (literally). Nor did I seek the Lord when I remarried and I have again reaped consequences of going my own way. These are the very situations through which God has shown me my desperate need for Him and His saving grace. So all that to say- Seek the Lord first above all else, trust in Him alone, His plan for you is best, He loves you with an everlasting love. Grace and peace to you dear brother. You will be in my prayers. Lori
Thanks for your response Lori. This was my first and only marriage, it lasted 38 years, I have been divorced since March 2010. I have yet to even seek another relationship. My X got on a bunch of prescription drugs, and lost her ability to think for herself, and listened to a few of her divorced friends that told he how wonderful single life is, and your 55 and don't have many years left, she listened and were now divorced. There was a silver lining, I was able to get my youngest boy he was 15 at the time, and the judge awarded me full custody of him and I did not even have to fight for him.
You know the world has change a lot in 38 years, I don't even know how to begin to look for anyone. I am just leaving it up to God, which I should be anyway, but I really think I was lonelier in my marriage than I have been during my single life. My boy and I have had some wonderful, Blessed days doing things with each other. I just turned 60 on Oct. 4th but I feel 40, never smoked and never was a drinker, so taking care of myself has helped me age gracefully. Well sorry I got into the details, but I really never talk to anyone about my divorce, so I guess I did here for some reason.
God Bless
Mr. Bill
MrBillPro wrote:
What happens to the person like me that had no choice in my divorce? wife filed and shocked the whole family, am I just left hung out to dry and burn in hell if I were to remarry for something I had no control over? Personally, I think God has to somehow evaluate each divorce individually, but I just don't know.
Brother, I had an answer all set yesterday but it wasn't to you, it was to the naysayers against remarriage but God isn't into smart alec answers no matter how right we are.
A good friend posted the following on her fb page this morning and it's beautiful and I knew I should share it with you....
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God is good. When God reveals something; there is no more darkness.
That which was hidden in the dark shall be brought to light.
~ Tammy
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And this is the truth! Look at how the Lord revealed the truth to Lori, the light of the truth has been revealed to her and she will not question her marriage anymore AND more importantly, she will not allow the enemy plant seeds of doubt! Praise the Lord!
Brother, you need the Lord to reveal that light of truth to you as well! I know you are but Seek Him, only Seek Him!!
God bless you, Bill!
Lisa
Thanks Lisa!....I guess I really put a screeching halt on this thread with my question. I guess most here just assume that, all that ask the question about divorce and remarriage, were the ones that had the choice in the divorce. I never wanted my divorce and fought for my marriage. Sometimes before we all start firing scriptures at each other if were not sure about their question, we should start with a simple, Hello Brother or Sister, could you elaborate a little on your question, because there are some things that the word just does not address clear enough for all to completely understand. You know,I feel if God meant to address everything clearly, where all could understand it clearly, there might not be a need for our spirit, because it's through the spirit we understand. I have looked and still can't find anything in the word pertaining to the person that had no choice in the divorce, maybe all we can expect to get here are some really good opinions, but are we to take a Good brothers or sisters opinions like we would scripture? this thread really raises some very good questions.
One personal note, divorce is ugly, it sure was in my case, and the Church needs to Pray more and put more efforts into healing marriages through prayer and sermons. I miss my marriage very much, but I also feel the doctors that prescribed the meds to my wife were also partly responsible. I could not talk to her about the meds. I tried often, only to get a lot of rebellion in return, she beat me down and wore me out. Lord in Jesus name, heal all the marriages out there that are in jeopardy, and strengthen the ones that are good, make them even stronger, in Jesus name.
Praise God Lori! You may be tested on your faith and revelation from Jesus about how complete His work is after Calvary. Recently an apostle I highly consider looked me in the eye and said with conviction "satan is a liar and wants to rob you of what you have". Look unto Jesus. You are in the best place to be, reliant upon his grace and mercy! In a disposition to require regular assurance from our Lord.
Bill. Sorry to hear about your situation also, how awful. Lori's reply to you is good loving Christian advice. The best place to be is where she is now. In the blessed rest. Will pray for you brother.
This link has 2 parts. Session 7 and 8.
Mr. Bill, Thank you for sharing more about your situation. I think I can pray more specifically for you now.
Thank you to everyone who posted here. I sensed the love and grace of our Lord Jesus in your answers to my question. Thank you Lysa and elderlemon for your encouragement. My deepest appreciation to all. I look forward to meeting all of you someday in our eternal home.
I don't know much about doctrine, nor can I engage in any discussions about theology but one thing I do know is the power of the cross to deliver, heal, and restore. I once was a judgmental, hypocritical, self-righteous Pharisee. Then through a disastrous marriage and divorce, with my life crushed, sifted and laying in a ruinous heap, Jesus came and restored! He changed my cold, dead heart and filled it with His grace, love, mercy and compassion.
To all those who have suffered through divorce, there is hope, healing, and even a better life ahead if you look to Jesus. Only He has the power to forgive, heal, and restore. And He does it all for His glory! Lori
one last thought: Those who have been forgiven little, love little. Those who have been forgiven much, love much.(Luke 7:47)
God is more interested in lifting our burdens. Mr Bill, May God grant you peace in your heart
Thank you all for your responses. I am doing ok without even seeking a relationship for now, my son and I go and do lots together and have a wonderful father/son relationship, but he plans to join the Marines when he turns 18 in Jan. so I will be alone. I know that when my son Daniel joins, this is when old sluefoot will come at me with everything he has to get me into a relationship. I will need to be closer than ever in my life to the Lord, I am preparing for this now, and I pray he fills me with his discernment. I just thank God I am 60 maybe I will be able to see past the lust to the love if a relationship comes near. You know God made us all different, I have had some folks tell me, Bill you don't want another relationship, most of those folks that have told me that are the bitter friends I have. I will always focus on what God has to tell me of course, but I will not know for sure if I want/need another relationship until Daniel has gone on to the Marines. My son has been my rock, through everything, and of course Jesus Christ, without him I would not be here typing this today. My son Daniel told me once when I was feeling regretful about my divorce, he said Dad, life is to unsure to have any regrets, what a powerful statement from then a 15 year old. Listen to your children sometimes as you expect them to listen to you, they to can Bless you, and usually with a sweeter spirit.