Is playing board games worldly?

I know that we are called to not love the world nor the things of the world. Everything we do is to glorify God. It is our purpose in life.

So how do I live that out? The bigger things I know how to avoid. Movies, TV, worldly music, entertainment- all these things I have taught my children to avoid because they are the work of the world.

But how do I categorize other things? My question specifically is about allowing my kids to play some board games (Monopoly, Rummikub)and some card games in the last couple of days.

However, I was wondering if this is acceptable in the eyes of Christ. How does this glorify Him? Am I guilty of giving my children the world or the love of the world allowing them to play and participating with them? Am I allowing them to get distracted from their purpose? This time could have been better spent on speaking of the Word or praising God.

My children range in age from 6 to 24. Most have participated. The child who is most desirous of pleasing the Lord refused to participate. The oldest 3 of these children are very worldly and do not live at home. There is no father in the home since he went to be with the Lord earlier this year.

Does this change the answer at all? Am I serving up a distraction to the wayward children and basically playing along with them in their worldliness as they go on the road to destruction?

I know that there will be a wide range of opinions. I pray that the Lord can use this discussion to make us purer and more holy before Him.

In Christ,
romanchog

Perhaps playing board games and cards with your children does not glorify Christ... except in the way you lose!! LOL

There are those who will adamantly disagree but I do not believe that you will be serving up a distraction to have some legitimate fun and laughter with your children (and their friends).

God bless you,
Lisa

I wrestled with this as well with my family. I agree with Lisa, ( how we lose and win ). It is a good way to learn how to rejoice with the winner and mourn with the loser. It can be foundational lessons in how we don't always win or get everything our way.

Building relationships with new friends, games can help 'lighten up ' the room a little so you can get to know each other.

Games must remain in the balance of family life as one thing we do together, not all we do together.

'Thou shalt not play a game with your children' is not a commandment and certainly is not likely to bring life to your family.

I am praying for you roman as you sound like a true Kingdom seeker.

Russell

games can be a wonderful way to teach children in following after Christ. just think of the many opportunities to teach your children about sharing, patients, rejoicing when another wins, helping another, being truly happy for a sibling that they did well, all these are principles that you can teach your children while you play and they all go back to Jesus teaching of putting another first and learning to care for another. monopoly is a great game for this. i know of two sisters who spent time playing this game one evening and both learned wonderful lessons about themselves in Christ. after the game was over the older sister said "i really saw that i struggle with pride when we were playing that game." she admitted she did not want her little sister to win but as the Lord opened her heart and she repented she was able to rejoice in her sisters victory. the younger sister was so moved by her older sisters heart that she repented and admitted that their had been times when she thought herself better then her sister, she had been vain and feeding her own ego. she admitted and repented of this sin and now happily plays the game with out thoughts about "crushing" her sister but just for the enjoyment and fellowship time that God has allowed them to have together. you children will not always have these moments, they can be blessings and gifts from the Lord use them, play the games and always be open to the Holy Spirit to point them toward Jesus. there are so many opportunities in this life that can draw us closer to the Lord and point us toward Him if we are open to seeing what He has for us.

this is my understanding and how i play:) of course do what seems best as the Lord leads you.

rdg

After posting this up last night I was praying more about it. My three oldest do not live at home and are very worldly. The only opportunity I have to speak the Word into their lives is when they come over. If that time is spent playing the opportunity is lost.
One of my daughter's reminded me of something my husband said while he was alive. He said that while some things may be ok for us to do with he kids who live at home, it may not be ok to do the same thing with the older children because I would be allowing them to remain in their blinded state instead of seeing the truth and leading them to repentance. The subject at the time was different, but I think the principle applies.

Thank you all for your replies thus far. Most of you seem to assume that the children are young which is not the case for all ( I have 9). It is the older ones I'm concerned about mostly.

Still praying over this.

the two sisters that i spoke about were older, not young children. you may also be surprised at how often the Lord uses a younger sibling to by example open the eyes of an older child. of course do as you think is best in the Lord. If He is leading you to do things a certain way then go for it. you seem to now have your answer by your last post or at least where you feel He is leading you.

rdg

My wife and I have just completed a delightful game of Scrabble. A few weeks ago I wrote a love song to her about the joy of simply being in her presence throughout the day, through the seasons etc. entitled, "Just To Be With You, My Love". This little exerpt from the song speaks of the enjoyment we share playing word games together.
"When the blust'ring storm winds blow,
Swirling snow too thick to see -
Oh, what comeradeship we know,
Playing Scrabble, you and me!
Doing fun things together which bring mutual enjoyment (different things for different people) are a way to nurture and build relationships.
Outside the house our mother dog and her two puppies that have not been sold are having a grand time playing dog games together - that is how God made them to relate to one another. A dog that doesn't play is an unhappy dog as are their masters if they are always too serious to have fun!

romanchog,

Perhaps spending time with your older children and enjoying some merriment would minister to their souls.

As has been mentioned, there is nothing inherintely evil about games in general. Think of how happy and playful young children can be. They are made in the image of God. Is God any less playful? I know we usually don't think of our Father that way but stop and consider it for a moment. Can we still live with a larger purpose in mind while having fun? Did Jesus have a good time with His disciples at the wedding in Cana? And what about the wine? The good wine, not just any old junk. Jesus could lavish His love on people and still be about His Father's business. I belive we can too.

If you don't mind sharing, what reasons do your older children state as their objections to Christianity? I know in church circles we tend to say it is simply sin and rebellion but people are much more complicated than that. Meditate on the wisdome of Proverbs 20:5: A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, But a man of understanding draws it out.

Perhaps some more casual time with the older ones will allow you to plunge into the depths of their hearts and souls.

Grace and peace,
Matthew

In many forums I read where people ask, "Is doing this or that a sin" or "Is doing this or that worldly" or whatever the variation.

And I always think, who knows your heart but God and who knows the voice of the Lord for yourself but you!

Romanchog,

Where do you get your definition for "worldly"? The Bible defines worldliness differently than many people have defined it, especially when it comes to a list of taboos that is incongruent with 1 Timothy 4:1-5.

For instance, is something worldly because some people make bad use of it? Then, we should shun the internet. (Sorry Greg!)

What about alcohol? Did you know that the Puritans brewed their own alcohol when they came to America? Did you know that people like Billy Sunday considered people to be saved when they professed that they wouldn't drink again?

We should not call "evil" what God calls "good", in the same way that we should not call "good" what God calls "evil". The two are equally demonic.

Some food for thought.
In Christ,
Renoncer

Thank you for all the responses. Several points have been brought up here.

Renoncer asked what is my definition of worldly, and pilgrim777 said that this depends on our hearts.

Both are correct. I do not want to get caught up with the word worldly. It was simply a word I used to try to ask my question. My point is: IS IT PROFITABLE?

All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. 1 Cor 6:12

I know this answer will vary from person to person since we all have different hearts. This is the issue in my home, since my children all have different hearts and different walks in the Lord. What may be alright for one is not necessarily alright for another. The focus here is to make them keep their eyes on glorifying the Lord and serving Him only.

My concern over this began when my child who is most devoted to the Lord refused to participate. To him, this was wasteful, especially since no mention was being made of the Lord. Since he spends much time in prayer, I like to listen and seriously consider his concerns.

Matthew2323 asked what my 3 older children have against Christianity. Two of them have nothing against Christianity, and are actually very involved in Christian "activities;" they are simply against MY form of Christianity, which they view as extremist and totally unreasonable. Separating from the world, eschewing entertainment, music that does not specifically worship the Lord, etc. They are not in any obvious sin; simply they have not chosen to die for Christ, to deny themselves, to carry the cross. Of course, they think they are following Christ.

In their defense, they are mostly following the gospel that we taught them as children, before we knew better. In those formative years, they also experienced some things that hardened their hearts toward their father, and indirectly toward me. Even we have asked for forgiveness repeatedly, they still hold resentment in their heart and pretty much don't listen to anything I say or especially that their Dad used to say. They have interpreted the Word to mean that you don't really have to obey your parents in all things, etc.

My other child simply never really took the gospel as her own, totally enticed by the world. Still, she is more respectful than the other two.

Thank you rutnrust for your offer of prayer. I dearly need it. I was not made to be a leader. I had a great leader in my husband and I know that he taught me enough of the word for ME to walk with God on my own. But now I have been entrusted by the Lord to guide these children into the fear of the Lord, to do my best to pull the others into His fold. I do not feel equipped to do this and am simply clinging to the Lord for Him to do it through me.

In Christ,
romanchog

romanchog wrote:

"they are simply against MY form of Christianity, which they view as extremist and totally unreasonable."

Is it? I guess that it the question.

I'll be honest- some red flags go up for me when I see topics like this- questioning things like board games-- particularly innocent ones.

I don't think Jesus expeects us to work 8 hrs per day, sleep 8 hrs per day and split the other 8 hrs between bible study and prayer.

Of course that is only my opinion.

TMK: you may be right.

But I keep going to the words of Jesus, who DID nothing unless the Father told Him to and SAID nothing that the Father did not tell Him to say.

I know that the board games themselves are innocent. I play games with my younger children who live at home, who are willing to listen to the word I have to teach, even in the middle of the game. They are allowed to play games with themselves.

But the point is: am I providing a distraction from following hard after Christ? A bridge into the world. As others have said, this is a answer may be different for different people.

I am new in this walk of leading a family, having done it for only 3 months. A few months ago, this would have been discussed with my husband and a decision would have been made without a posting on SI. But now I am alone and am simply trying to figure out what I need to do to keep my children on the narrow and difficult path, and to guide to that path those children that are not on it. And that is done in the details of life-the devil is in the details-as well as in the big things and in teaching the Word.

Thanks anyway for your response. I will put it to prayer.

Greetings Natalie

your shared:My concern over this began when my child who is most devoted to the Lord refused to participate. To him, this was wasteful, especially since no mention was being made of the Lord. Since he spends much time in prayer, I like to listen and seriously consider his concerns.

_________________

This portion you shared struck me. It is possible that this child while they do spend time in prayer and have a deep love for the LORD could actually be developing an attitude of being judgmental and prideful. When he shared his concerns over spending time playing the game was it in love? What was the motivation of his heart? Was it to shine the love of JESUS to his siblings or was it to get everyone to see "how good" he is. I caution on this because it can happen that the enemy uses things just like this to stumble us. I am not saying that is the case but can be. As his mom I know you spend time in prayer and seeking to know the LORDS will for all your children. Perhaps after praying the LORD may have some things for you to share with this son as well :)

The only other thing that I can offer is concerning your three older children. Do they still live at home with you? Or are they on their own? It actually does matter I am learning. Being the parent of an adult who is my child is so much more difficult then being the parent to my child who is still a child. The way you share with them will be different in that when they were children you could speak into their lives because you had authority over them. As adults you no longer do and so you can speak only what they are willing to sit and listen to. This can be difficult, you want to stand firm in the LORD on the things HE gives you to share but as a loving mother it is often hard to keep "self" out of it. I will pray for you I am learning discernment is needed on my part and the need to stay close to the LORD. There are times when HE has given me much to share with my adult children and then there are times when HE has had me say nothing at all. I think as mothers we often forget as much as we love our children, HE loves them even more...

As for playing the board games some very great responses have been shared and I am sure you have much to consider and pray over so I will leave it to the LORD who I know will lead you.

God bless
maryjane

Thanks MaryJane. Yes my older children are adults and do not live at home, which was the original concern, since it occurred to me I could be wasting precious time in a game where I could have fed them the Word.

One of my kids is scheduled to move back in in a couple of weeks and to be honest, I am totally tensed up about it because I do not know how I am supposed to respond to her lack of respect, lack of desire to follow any of my rules, etc., not to mention the possible effect on the younger children. I have been in much prayer about it.

As to my devoted son possibly being judgmental, there have been cases of that which I have addressed, though his is not in pride and "I am better than you are" but just a lack of mercy. In this case, he did not say a word, he simply walked out quietly and no one but me noticed it. Later in the game he came in for a moment to say something that tried to bring the subject of Christ, I can't recall what. I tried to pick up where he started but it didn't really take off.

This son is very quiet and shy and has in the past been harshly rejected by his older siblings for asking them: "Is what you are doing glorifying Christ?"

His Dad died 3 months ago and he is doing all he can to follow what his Dad taught him. At 14, this is a lot to deal with.

Natalie you shared: This son is very quiet and shy and has in the past been harshly rejected by his older siblings for asking them: "Is what you are doing glorifying Christ?"

His Dad died 3 months ago and he is doing all he can to follow what his Dad taught him. At 14, this is a lot to deal with.

___________

I can imagine the sorrow he is struggling with. I lost my dad a few years ago, he died of cancer. The truth is I lost him even longer ago when I was young my parents divorced, my dad moved in and then remarried a much younger woman and I saw very little of him after that. I know how painful it can be to loose a parent. I have been in prayer for you and your family and will continue.

You mentioned that the older siblings rejection has caused him a good deal of sadness because of the questions he asks them. I have a suggestion for you, but please pray over what I share to know the LORD will in this.

Perhaps speak with your fourteen year old son and remind him that even though his siblings are not walking with the LORD they are still older and as such they may feel like he is coming at them as one with authority over them instead of as their younger brother...do you see where this would cause the older ones to perhaps resent the younger? Maybe he could share with them in another way, instead of asking them questions like the one you mentioned he could simply share the things he is seeing in his own walk with the LORD. Just simply talk to them about what JESUS is showing him in areas of his life. If the opportunity opens itself up he might ask, what are the things you are seeing in your walk with the LORD? This would give the older siblings an opportunity to see their brothers heart is not about authority or attempting to "lecture and teach" but just sharing JESUS with one another. If they share things he knows are not Biblical, he can always express what the LORD has shown him and then offer to pray with them about these things so that together they can know the LORDS heart on the matter. Remind him to always pray before he speaks with them and to always seek to know the FATHERS heart, it could be there are times when the LORD just wants him to listen to his siblings and then pray over what they have shared. The one thing about asking another believer about what the LORD is showing them in their walk is this: if they share what they are seeing you learn better ways to pray for them specifically and if they respond with nothing at all, that they are seeing nothing in their walk that can be a very real eye opener for anyone. Either way your son will know how to pray for his family :)

As for your one daughter who is planing to move back in you need to love her with CHRIST heart but at the same time she needs to respect that you are now the authority of the house. Take her for a walk before she moves home and set the rules with her. Tell her you love her dearly, want to help her in this time but that there are things that will not be compromised on in the home no matter what. Tell her you want her time with you all to be one of joy and help to one another but that can not happen if she does not respect your rules. It is your home and you answer to GOD for what goes on there so share with her how vitally serious you take this role and that you hope she can understand, and abide by what you have shared with her. Let her know that she is an adult and you understand that but that in no way changes the rules that you establish in your home. Remind her that you are an adult and you choose to live by them because you have prayed long and hard and this is the leading you have from the LORD for your household. Tell her you realize she may do things differently one day when she has a family and home of her own but until then this is the way things will be. Let her know again how much you love her and if she can respect you and follow the rules even though she does not agree with them then she is welcome if not she should reconsider what her plans are. Tell her you do not want their to be anything that the enemy might use to come between the two of you and you feel sharing with her these things now and what you expect will be best so you both know where you stand on these things. It is a hard conversation to have but you are right you must consider your younger children as well and they are still under your authority and care, they do need your protection, covering and care.

I have been in these situations myself and know how difficult they can be but the LORD will lead you. Consider what I have shared, pray on it and see what the LORD has for you.I will continue to pray for you all :)

God bless
mj

"But now I am alone and am simply trying to figure out what I need to do to keep my children on the narrow and difficult path, and to guide to that path those children that are not on it."

Please know that I am very sorry for your loss. My sister lost her Dad shortly after we married. He was 50, my brother-in-law was 16. I have watched my mother-in-law struggle with what you are struggling with. It is a very difficult thing to do, being both mom and dad.

But here's the thing. You ARE NOT doing this on your own. If you have the belief that you seem to have (I have no doubt) then you've also got to believe that God will guide you and your children. Again, you are not alone in this. The Holy Spirit is with you even now and God will direct your path. Maybe the idea of playing games came up because you all need some levity.

You also mentioned that Jesus did nothing that was not directed by God. That is very true. It is also true that sinners (tax collectors and drunkards) wanted to spend time with Jesus. He spent so much time with them that the Pharisees accused him of being a drunk Himself. We know that Jesus was not a drunk, but why did those people want to hang out with Him? We don't know what went on at those meals or what Jesus said. I am of the opinion that Jesus was simply enjoyable to be around. We know that He was a great story teller. Maybe the people spent time with Him because His inner being drew them. Maybe it was because of the miracles and they wanted to be around the miracle man. We don't know. What I can be pretty sure of is that Jesus expressed love to these people. Yes, sin was not ignored (the woman caught in adultery) but love was the dominant expression. Remember, it is the goodness of God that leads to repentance.

My prayers are with you for this difficult season you're going through. May God bless you with peace, joy and a better understanding of His majesty. He is our King of Glory. He is capable to carry us through. Give Christ your burden. He is more than faithful to see us through.

Matt

My concern is that if we "squeeze" kids too hard- they may shoot out-- like a watermelon seed does when squeezed. We have all heard the stories of rebellious preacher's kids.

It is a a difficult struggle. I am not sure if "legalism" is the answer. Of course lines must be drawn; we need wisdom to know where to draw those lines and it may vary for each family. However, we must choose our battles wisely. I am afraid that if we simply forbid our kids from doing what seems to be innocent things so that they will not be distracted from "walking the narrow path" that they will 1) rebel and not walk the narrow path and 2) resent us. We have to turn our children over to God.. of course that does not mean that we wash our hands of them, but at the same time we must turn them over to God.

I am trying to decide if this is really serious question. It causes me to think about what is wrong with religious beliefs and why so many depart from the faith. Evil is revealed under every rock while God sits back and just watches. Has it really come to this with some?

John

Romanchog,

Good discussion. (As a side note, I would like to extend my condolences to you in regards to your husband. May God show you mercy, comfort, and goodness in this difficult time.)

I would like to follow up on my previous post by asking the following questions based on 1 Timothy 4:1-5:

1) What makes the practice of calling "evil" something that God created good (or calling it "worldly"), what makes that "demonic"?

2) What are some of the things that supposedly devout Christians have called "evil" or "worldly" throughout Church history that are actually meant to be received with thanksgiving?

If we adopt the wrong framework through which we understand Christianity, we can get things warped out of shape. If we have a framework through which we determine that some Christians are superior, whereas other Christians are judged to be inferior, something is wrong; especially if the reason we judge others to be inferior is because they are enjoying the good gifts of the Lord.

If something is NOT EXPLICITLY classified as sin in the Bible, we cannot call it "evil" or "worldly". If we do, we are the ones who are in the wrong (James 4:11-12; Romans 14:4).

So, that being said, if your children want to play a board game, as long as the subject matter isn't sinful (such as witchcraft), you can praise the Lord when they are enjoying the good gifts that He has given to them. As for their attitude while they play the game, that's just part of life. They can learn to glorify God in their attitudes as well.

In Christ,
Renoncer

Renoncer, I think I agree with you on this, but this is also missing another aspect.

For example, sports in themselves are not "evil" but they can lead one on the slippery slope of idolatry. The many people that spend their weekends sitting in front of a TV watching these games proves this point. TV also in itself is not evil. Obviously, there are evil things on TV. But there is also a lot of "educational" stuff on TV. So what is wrong with it? TV shows are created to suck you in, and they are very effective at that. I have seen TV as something that Satan has created to numb the minds of people to God, to Christ, to the necessity of spending time in the Word and in prayer- have been guilty of it myself.

So while it is true that many things are not "evil" they can still lead to evil.

Also, there is the question of how your actions affect another brother or sister. You (or someone else?) mentioned alcohol before- even for someone who is able to be restrained in the use of alcohol, by asserting that there is nothing wrong with drinking alcohol, that person is being a stumbling block to the person who cannot drink just a little.

Having said all this, it seems to me now that it is ok to let my kids play these board games. As I said, I am examining everything I allow in my home to see if it glorifies God. The last words that my husband told me before he died were: "Very soon everything is going to turn black and white." I am trying to get rid of all the greys in our lives. It is what I need to do to honor his words, which I know are THE Truth because they match Scripture.

By the way, my younger children do NOT think of me as legalistic in any way. They are understanding the purpose of this life and see why I do the things I do. The older ones have always thought of me as "extreme" because I forbade the watching of witch and vampire movies and refused to allow non-Christian music in my home. My recent stand on holiness is just something they do not get.

Just in case, I just wanted to state that I am not the least bit offended by anything that was said here. I have taken it all to heart and submitted to prayer.

In Christ,
romanchog

MaryJane: I thank you for this advice. You have put into words what I could not, though in my Spirit I could feel something like this but when I would put it into words it sounded so harsh. Not so in your words. You have been used by God to answer my prayer. God bless you!

romanchog,

I think Mary Jane gave you some excellent advice in how to help your younger child speak respectfully to his older siblings. There are many ways to show God's love and truth; it isn't only through words.

It is also wise to have a heart-to-heart with your daughter before she moves back into your house. I would counsel you to try and keep the "rules" to a minimun however; and keep them to some of the bigger issues. As other posters have mentioned we need to be careful what we call evil and to allow the Bible to guide these decisions. One of the biggest hindrances I see to allowing someone to really walk with Jesus is the dreadful "spirit of religion." By that, I mean a man-made system to rules and regulations that have the appearance of holiness/godliness but it denies the power thereof (2 Timothy 3:5).

Consider Paul's words to the Colossians:
If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees, such as, "Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch!" (which all refer to things destined to perish with use)-in accordance with the commandments and teachings of men? These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgence. (2:20-23)

Notice that Paul considers all of this self-striving to only appear wise but it does nothing to affect the heart. We can make our own rules, but they do not change our hearts' motivations. We can hide away from activities that COULD lead to sin, but we never deal with the deep issues of our hearts and souls that would cause us to be attracted to those sins in the first place.

Contrast that lifestyle to freedom spoken of in Psalm 119:32:
I will run the way of thy commandments, when thou shalt enlarge my heart. (KJV)
I shall run the way of Your commandments, For You will enlarge my heart. (NAS)
I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free. (NIV)

And then back to the New Testament: "It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1) The slavery that Paul speaks of here is a religious slavery. (And yes, he does tell us in verse 13 that freedom does not lead to sin, but to love.)

It may be helpful to ask your daughter what she expects your relationship to look like now and then to let her know your expectations as well. Because she is an adult now, she is now at a place where you will need to treat her more as a sister (in Christ?) than one of your little ones. Share your heart with her. As you open up the depths of your soul to her, it will allow her to see how Jesus lives in you. (In my life, the men who have impacted me the most are the ones that I've seen up close and personal and their lives speak volumes more than their words.)

It may also be helpful to talk beforehand about how you two will deal with the inevitable disagreements that you will have. Life does not turn out to be as cut and dried as we would like it to be. Paul acknowledges, that even in his own life there is a mixture of good and bad (Romans 7). If we could control everything, life would be rather dull and in reality we wouldn't need God at that point. So when these situations arise, have a game plan: will she leave the room, will you usher the little children into another room, etc. On that same note, it would seem to me, to be quite helpful to have a similar discussion with the little ones. One important lesson is to let them know that people can disagree on something and still love one another and remain respectful. Also, it is vitally important to let the little ones know that if you do need some distanct from your oldest daughter for a time, the time apart is so that you can eventually come back together even stronger than before.

Thank you for sharing about your children's lives. I can't imagine how difficult this season of life must be for you and your family. Hopefully the outlet you have here at SI to share your heart and soul will offer some measure of healing and encouragement for the journey.

Grace and peace,
Matthew

Romanchog,
I understand the challenge with regards to making bad use of the good things that the Lord has given to us.
It's a sad fact of life that sinners twist God's creation and misuse it; but we have to be careful not to overreact and to fall into the ascetic or dualistic snare of the devil, which, like Paul says, is not glorifying to God but rather the teaching of demons.

In my previous post, the first question was meant to shed some light upon the factors at play in this matter. If you can see through not only the details, but also the overarching paradigms at play, that will allow you to make sense of the matter.

Thank you for your humble heart in this discussion. May God give you understanding and grace as you seek to follow Him faithfully.

In Christ,
Renoncer