Brothers and sisters,
Can't you see the inconsistency when you insist that men and women are different (which they are - very different indeed) and then fail to accept that they each sin for very different reasons, and don't have the exact same sin patterns.
It is a fact that in the vast majority of what is called Intimate Abuse rather than Domestic Violence, the perpetrator is a man and in cases of severe violence requiring hospital admission, the rate of male abusers skyrockets.
It is also a fact that alcohol and mental illness is a significant factor in a lot of cases of both sexes.
I am not denying that women do physically abuse men, of course they do, and I don't see the need to quote individual cases, as we just do not know anyone else so well as to deny that the person could suffer from transitional mental illness at the time. I know that PMS could possibly come under that category for possibly a huge number of women, and I know myself that at such times, my anger levels could have become on the edge of control ability.
But my point was that a woman taking the risk of retaliation from someone so much stronger than herself, is surely not in her right mind. No sane man would take on someone much, much stronger.
To do what you are all doing here, that is to say that both sexes do it therefore a special case cannot be made for women to be especially protected is to me, madness when the statistics show that women are indeed in greater need of protection from the law.
And as I said, the reasons for the attacks are very much different between the sexes. With women it is most likely to be a display of temper that she cannot control, for whatever reason whereas for men, it is much more likely to be for control purposes, and in a highly dysfunctional insecure male, a way of destroying all self esteem in his partner so that she will not leave him as he will have convinced her that no-one else will have her. I have found this to be quite common in shelters, where someone has persuaded the woman to leave for the sake of the children.
Of course this problem has on the main, been much worse outside of the church though is increasingly is becoming more common and 'pastor wife abuse' is now becoming heard of more frequently. I would like to point out that I said in the main, and ask that we do not have another set of examples to try to dismiss me.
http://www.dovechristiancounseling.com/AbusedMinistersWives.html
http://www.ccel.us/hearttoheart.ch7.html
http://marriagemissions.com/terror-in-the-parsonage/
There is a huge problem for women reporting abuse to their pastors as well. Many if not all of them will say as many of you have said that she should obey her husband and ask God to change him. I have read of many who have said that they did this and the abuse did not stop till eventually they did leave, but in the meantime, the children witnessed more and more damaging scenes. Is God going to change the husband that same day? No, so why let the children especially witness it after the first episode and the wife have more beatings?
A man who has lifted his hand to his wife just once, is hugely unlikely to stop unless there is intervention and any woman should leave the home for the sake of the whole family so that intervention and healing can take place.
Those who say she should stay, should have plenty of evidence to show that the husband does get changed by God,in every case, but why anyone would think that God acts against any person's will is beyond me.
Would people here agreeing with these ignorant pastors, take responsibility for any damage done because they were wrong? It is a hugely important issue involving lifelong damage to children and sometimes the wives. Men of course do suffer damage from women but as the situation is not life threatening from someone with the ability to turn and kill,and as there are no control issues in general (and not of the same type) the damage is much greater.
Gary my country is shown below my post count.
