Amen, Elizabeth.
You are hitting the proverbial "nail on the head". That is the prayer we all need:
"God grant us more of Your Grace,
That we may grow up together,IN Him"
Luke 17:33 Whosoever shall seek to save his LIFE shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his LIFE shall preserve it.
The word LIFE comes from the Greek word psuche. Psuche is the only word translated "soul" in the New Testament It occurs 105 times, and is rendered "soul" 58 times, "life" 40 times, "mind" 3 times, and "heart", "heartily", "us", and "you" once each.
IV. psuche, used to emphasize the pronoun, as we use "self" (e.g. "my soul" = "myself"), occurs 21 times and is rendered
1. "soul" : Matt. 11:29; 12:18; 26:38. Mark 14:34. Luke 1:46; 12:19. John 12:27. Acts 2:27, 31; 14:22; 15:24. 2Cor. 1:23. Heb. 10:38. 1Pet. 1:22. 2Pet. 2:8. Rev. 18:14.
http://www.ecclesia.org/truth/psuche.html
We cannot follow Jesus with our "soul life" taking the lead. And that is why we need the cross in operation (crucified life) in our walk, heart, soul. If we walk in the Spirit, we are embracing the cross and we will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh, soul life, self.
He that seeks to save his "soul life" shall lose his soul. Same as he that refuses the Spirit and the cross in his life and chooses his own way (soul life), shall lose his soul. Everyone will die physically, so we know the physical body will be lost. That is not in question. This earthly tabernacle will decay and go back to dust. Jesus is really talking about our soul-life and our soul. And the cross is the way out and the way to save our souls. But, there is no cross without Jesus and no Jesus without the cross. Those who separate Jesus from the cross take advantage of grace and those who separate the cross from Jesus are trying to save their soul through works (asceticism).
You raise very good questions.
When we talk about "getting back to Jesus", we are talking about "walking as He walked", and allowing the work of the Spirit in our lives to conform us to Christ. "Not our will but Thy will be done".
We will not "reign with Him", if we are not willing to pick up our cross and deny self ( soul-life). We deny Him when we refuse the operation of the cross in and against our soul-life, self.
2 Timothy 2:12
If we suffer, we shall also reign with him: if we deny him, he also will deny us: