Hi Caleb ”“
I am going to make my exit from this thread, but I did not want to do so without acknowledging your last post. Your questions and interest have seemed genuinely sincere and I didn’t want to leave this thread without making some attempt to acknowledge your questions. I did receive your email by-the-way, but since I was planning to respond to you publicly before I received it, I will go ahead with my plans for a public response (to your post ”“ not the email).
At this point I don’t really think it is prudent for me to give you specifics into my day to day life and as to how this all plays out in reality. However, I will suggest that you to re-read my post where I try to share my understanding that to sin is to be false (If I counted correctly, it is the 39th post in the thread and it is titled "Let Me Try to Clear Things Up a Bit.”) Then, really ponder what I said in that post and take it to any extreme you like in your imagination. When I say that I don’t live a false life, I mean exactly what I said.
To really get a handle on this, consider how many times a day you place restraint upon yourself because you want to do the right thing. Maybe there is a song you honestly enjoy and would like to listen to, but instead of doing so, you restrain yourself because you conclude that that song might be bad in the eyes of God. It is likely that you place this restraint upon yourself over and over again throughout the day. Or, maybe the opposite is true, instead of restraining yourself from doing something that you honestly desire to do, you compel yourself to do a certain thing that you really DON’T want to do because you think doing so is a good "Christian” practice and discipline. Well, I live without any of those restraints to not do something I would like to do and without those outward pressures that compel me to do something I really have no honest desire to do. I simply live a life that flows naturally out of me. I walk according to the natural and good desires that God breathed into me when he created me.
Now, I imagine that your opinion of me might have taken a bit of a hit with that revelation, and it is possible that you now feel even a little regret for reaching out to me with your kind and comforting email. If you really understand what I just said, then you realize that my life does not resemble any things that a legalistic, holiness preacher would consider holiness. In truth, a holiness preacher or holiness church member would consider me to be an utterly wretched man who is certainly on his way to hell.
This might cause you to wonder why I am not afraid to live with such a lack of carefulness in my actions. Well, I am not afraid to live this way because I am certain that this is exactly how my creator desires for me to live. I don’t live this way to dishonor my creator; I live this way because I do honor him. I utterly trust in his workmanship. I utterly trust that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Because of his faithful work in my life, I am confident that he did not create me with desires that are contrary to his own good will. I trust that the desires that are in me are of him. I am not going to dishonor the good work of my creator by TRYING to complete his work with my own efforts of the flesh. I am not going to insult God by trying to add to his work with my work any longer. I am going to trust in the work he did when he created me. I am going to trust that I do not know more than him. I am not going to walk in the flesh of my carefulness, but live by the true spirit he placed in me.
Now, it is VERY important to understand that I would NEVER suggest to anyone that they should live as I do. And it is also VERY important to understand that I did not live and walk in such freedom when I perceived such freedom to be wickedness and sin. For the past 20 years, I have always been true to my conscience before God. If I had a desire to do something and I perceived that obeying that desire would displease God, I would always choose to suffer with an unsatisfied desire instead of knowingly disobeying God by doing something I perceived to be a sin. By his grace, I have been nothing but faithful to what I believed to be right in his eyes since he called me in 2003. A person MUST be faithful to God in what they perceive to be faithfulness. A clear conscience is a must.
So, please believe me when I say that I do not walk with a defiled conscience in the midst of my liberty. My conscience is clear. I do not do things believing that they are contrary to the will of God, rather, I believe that my full expression of liberty is according to his perfect will. I am fully convinced that God looks upon my life and dances with joy as he watches me live in the joy of this liberty he has given to me.
This great liberty does not mean I have permission to do harm to others. But then again, I have no desire to. Because the pleasure of God is upon me (through the righteousness of Christ), my life is full and overflowing with satisfaction. I do not have lust that would cause me to intrude upon the lives of others. There is nothing I need from my fellow man that could compel me to violate their will in order for me to obtain it.
However, it is not just my lack of lust that keeps me from violating the will of others, but it is also because I have a great respect and honor for the things that belong to others. I have this great respect and honor for my fellow man because God has been faithful to work it into my life. Because of God’s faithfulness towards me, I am careful to respect the time of others. I am careful to respect the possessions of others. I am careful to make sure that I do not carelessly violate the God given rights of any other human. And this is not a hard thing. Because my life is full of satisfaction, I really don’t need or desire anything that belongs to another. And because God has worked in my life, it is my pleasure and privilege to show respect to all men.
If you were my neighbor, I think you would like me and feel safe to have me as your neighbor. I think you would be glad to have me as your neighbor. However, if you were a "Pentecostal Holiness” neighbor, you would likely be looking down on me with constant judgement because my life would not be even remotely close to a life you would approve of. In your mind, I would be living a sinful life, but in my mind, I would just be living an honest life according to the will of my creator.
And for what it is worth, I am fairly certain that this is what it means to truly be Holy. Those who are still ignorant believe that to be Holy means to be FALSE. Most equate "holiness” with PRETENDING. I on the other hand am extremely confident that being HOLY means being real and honest. This is the TRUTH that God so strongly desires of his creation. We do not become impure by living honestly; we become impure when we pretend to be something other than the person God created. Animals are always pure because they do not know how to pretend. An animal can be nothing but the creature that God created. Humans on the other hand have to learn how to be pure. God has to teach us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made so that we can become fully confident to walk without carefulness.
This has been the work that God has been doing in my life these past many years. He is slowly but surely teaching me to be holy and pure as I become confident in his workmanship. Because he has been faithful to me, I now trust him with all my heart. I trust that he did not make any mistakes when he created me. I trust that I can walk according to the natural desires that he placed in me so that I don’t have to walk by the labor of being careful all the time.
I hope this is making sense (Caleb and anyone else who may be reading). Once again, not hoping for you to believe it and except it as a good truth, but I do hope you can fully understand what I am saying.
So, this is why it is actually a bit of a problem for me to answer the question that Brenda asked earlier. Earlier she asked
3) What if a non believer hears you say that you do not sin but witnesses various sins in you?
In all honesty, this question just doesn’t any longer make sense to me at this stage of my journey. I just don’t think of sin as most others do. It is just not a concept that really has any bearing on my life. I don’t strive not to sin, and I don’t strive to sin. I just live. The concept of sin is more or less dead to me at this point.
Now, this is not to say that I cannot respect the feelings of others who do not have my liberty. I would never go into the home of another person who lives under the yoke of do’s and don’ts and willfully do something that I know is on their list of "don’ts”. I have no desire to offend the conscience of another. I don’t seek to flaunt my liberty, and I don’t seek to encourage other to walk with the liberty I enjoy. As I said before, to walk in my liberty when you believe that such liberty is sinful would certainly bring condemnation instead of life.
And, that brings me to the matter of why I am even now talking about my liberty on this forum. I want it to be clear that I did not originally set out to talk about this liberty I enjoy. It was never my intent to make that known when I shared my original post. It is just that all the back and forth questions and answers kind of forced my hand to reveal this part of my life. Doing so does not seem wise. But, to not do so at this point would seem dishonest. So, in this case, I am choosing honesty over wisdom and prudence.
I would not intentionally post on a forum that has a bit of a holiness connection and intentionally try to flaunt beliefs and ideas that are contrary to the values of the majority who take part on that forum. That would be both foolish and unfruitful. What good could it possibly do me to intentionally provoke others to look upon me with condemnation? And what good could it do to share things that would create arguments and strife? But not only would it be fruitless and foolish, it would also be a bit disrespectful to come here and intentionally speak of things that I know go against the values of the forum as a whole.
So, this post that is revealing my liberty was never my intent. It is simply a product of following the flow of the conversation. I hope everyone who is reading this will trust that is true.
Now, before I go, let me address one objection I could see being made. Some might say that we cannot live by our natural desires because our natural desires are contrary to the things that God desires. But this is not correct. Our natural and true desires are perfectly good, it is the false desires that are not natural that lead men to do wicked things. These false desires are present when the glory of God is not present upon a man. When the approval of God is not upon us, we lust for glory. We desire the praise and approval from others. When the glory of God is not upon us, we hunger for the attention of others. It is these desires for attention and praise from others that lead to actions that are truly displeasing to God. Because men desire the praise and attention of others, they are constantly doing things that they have no natural desire to do all for the sake of impressing another. It is these kind of false actions that grieve God because the actions are completely unnatural and outside his good and perfect will. But, once the glory of God has been restored to a man, those unnatural desires for attention and approval from others will vanish almost immediately leaving that person with the new awareness of their true, God given desires. And these true and God given desires can be fully trusted. But this is one of the reasons I can never encourage others to just live by their natural desires. When a person does not have the glory of God upon them, the desires that are in control of their life are desires that are completely foreign to the good will of God.
I will now make my exit from this conversation. I wish you all the best. I had another thread open that I may or may not continue to share in. It was the thread titled "Christ in you the hope of glory.” I am not sure that it is wise and fruitful for me to continue with that thread, but I will not make a decision just yet. Plus, the kind of confession I just put forth is the kind of confession that might cause one to get thrown out the door. I hope not, but certainly understand if that is the will of those who make such decisions.
Take care everyone. And thanks for reading and replying. While I am not one who is going to budge from my position without the intervention of God, I have been challenged to think about these things in greater detail, and I have experienced a little more clarity in my own understanding as I have tried to express my position to others.