Marriage And Family

It is a delight and a joy to be with you this morning. I have been richly blessed in fellowshipping together with you, worshipping our Lord together, and the way you have been such receptive people to receive the Word of God. I just want to thank you for that.

It means so much to me. You know, when you share the Word and there's a hunger, there's a desire, there's a delight in the Word. That is just so precious.

It's just so wonderful. And I just want to say thank you to all of you for your hospitality and for receiving us, for receiving me. Yeah, I want to say thank you to David and Marlene and their family for hosting me and doing my dirty laundry.

You know, in the evening when I got back from the meeting and my shirt was wet with sweat, I would just throw it out the door on the living room floor. And guess what? By the next evening, it was on a hanger and all errant and clean. And so I just want to say thank you.

And to each of you, there's just been such a joy to be here. What a delight. What a fellowship.

Oh, what a fellowship. What a joy divine. Looking unto Jesus, leaning upon Jesus.

And it's such a joy. You've given me a rich gift this week in just having this time to meditate and study in the Word and to pray and then come and share the Word with you all. And together, I'm believing, God, that together, His Word is just going to continue to grow and increase in our hearts to more fruitfulness in His kingdom, more godliness, and more glory and praise to His name.

So thank you all so much for your kindness and graciousness unto me and unto us. So this morning, I had this message on my heart all week, and I was asking the Lord when it should be given. And I chose to give it this morning because I thought this morning there is a better opportunity that all the church family will be here.

And so the message today is on marriage and family. So we want to look at some Scriptures. And one of the things that seems to be quite evident is that there may not be a lack of knowing the Scripture, but the real need comes to heart is where we walk in the obedience to what the Scripture teaches.

Marriage and family, husbands and wives, fathers and mothers and children. I will sing of the mercies of the Lord. With my mouth will I make known thy faithfulness unto all generations.

Oh, I tell you, brother, sister, this morning, there is no greater blessing than when father and mother, husband and wife are dwelling in the beauty of the presence of the Lord. And there's a song in their heart. And they are mindful of the mercies of God.

And they declare and make them known. And there's a song in your home. There's a song of gladness and joy.

Yes, I will sing of the mercies of the Lord. With my mouth will I make known thy faithfulness. Oh God, you're so faithful to me.

You're so good to me. And I'm going to declare your goodness and your faithfulness to all generations. And the first generation is those children seated around your table.

Those children gather around the living room. Those children playing on the floor. Yeah, those precious little children.

They are the next generation. And they are the ones that mother and father are called to be faithful to. Yes, I will sing.

I will delight in the Lord. Praise ye the Lord. Oh, let the praise of God's people resound.

Let the praises of God be in our mouth. The high praises of God exalting the Lord. Yes, praise is comely for God's people.

Praise is fitting for God's people. We shouldn't be so quiet. We should open our mouths and bless the Lord.

And praise Him with a loud voice. For He is worthy. Oh, praise ye the Lord.

Oh, how blessed the home is where there's praises resounding to the Lord. Where there's worship unto the Lord. And father and mother are leading the way by example to their family.

Appraising God and giving thanks unto the Lord. That's what he goes on to say here. Oh, give thanks unto the Lord, for He is good.

Oh, do you have a thankful attitude in your heart this morning? Giving thanks unto the Lord. And your children know the God and Father that my mom and daddy love and serve. He's a good Father.

He's a good God. Oh, give thanks unto the Lord, for He is good. For His mercy endures forever.

Blessed is the people that know the joyful sound. Oh, let there be the joyful sound. Resounding and resonating in your heart and in your mouth and in your home.

In thy name shall they rejoice all the day long. You know, this isn't something you just do in devotions for a few minutes in the morning. And you have your devotions.

But our life is to be an entire devotion to God and our praises and our thanks all the day long. Oh, thank you, Lord Jesus. Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all the earth.

Make a loud noise. Yeah, go ahead and shout. You won't scare God away.

I wonder how God feels at times when people are shouting and chanting and cheering their favorite sports team. And the whole stadium is resonating and resounding with honor and affirmation and encouragement to that guy throwing a ball around on the field. But then we come to church on a Sunday morning and we can't say anything.

We just have to be still and quiet. Go ahead and shout to the Lord. It's biblical.

It's in the Bible. We aren't violating the Scripture to give praise and glory to God and make a loud noise and rejoice and sing praise to God. He's worthy, hallelujah.

He's worthy of all our emotion. He's worthy of all our soul, to be loved with all our heart, mind, and soul. He's worthy.

Marriage and family, husbands and wives, and children. I want to talk about the atmosphere. You know, early in the mornings coming over here, there was a mist that descended down upon the earth.

And you couldn't see very far because of the mist and the fog. And so the atmosphere was clouded. But you know what? When the sun comes out and the sunlight begins to shine upon the earth, the mist and the fog and the clouds have to go.

And you know, that's exactly how it is in our lives. What is the atmosphere in your home? Is it misty? Is it cloudy? Is it foggy? Is it confusing? One time you're on top of the world praising God. The next time you're angry and sullen.

And the children are confused. They don't know what for daddy I'm going to have today. Is he going to be happy? Is he going to be rejoicing? Is he going to be kind and loving toward me? Or is he going to be angry today? Because he lost a lot of money on that last job.

And he's not very happy. His wallet got touched. Oh, my dear brother, sister, what is the atmosphere in your home? What is the spirit of your home? Is it peaceful and pleasant and a relaxed atmosphere where we can just all be ourselves? We don't have to put on any airs.

We don't have to put on any pretenses. We don't have to try to perform. We're accepted in the beloved as we are.

Yes, I've been accepted with God and my children, they are accepted by me. Though they're imperfect and though they need training and though they make mistakes, they are accepted by me. They are my beloved children.

And I delight in my family. And because I delight in them, in whom the Lord delighteth, He does what? He chasteneth them. Yes, He correcteth His Son in whom He delighteth.

Correction without delight can be abusive. It can harm. My Father's here today.

Do you delight in your Son so much that when you chasten Him, He knows He's your beloved Son? He knows that you delight in Him, that your approval is upon Him and you're correcting Him because you love Him. Oh, what's the atmosphere in your home? Peaceful, pleasant, relaxed? Or is it hostile and contentious? And quarrelsome? And there's fighting. Oh, the children are always fighting.

I can't wait for Dad to come home. The children have been such a drain today. They've been so quarrelsome.

They've been so fighting. The first thing I want to say is that Dad and Mom, examine your own heart. Do you have a quarrelsome spirit in you? Do you have a rebellious spirit in you? And you as a husband and a wife are fighting.

Oh, not before the children. Oh, no, no, we never do that. They can never see it.

But you know what? Your fighting, your quarreling brings a spirit in the home, even if your children never hear it or see it. You bring the atmosphere into your home and into your family. Argumentive, combative.

Oh, my dear young people this morning, don't give your parents a hard time. Rather, joyfully submit to their direction and their instruction. Don't even just submit, but joyfully agree, joyfully agree, and get behind Father's passion and heart and submit and joyfully agree.

How much time is squandered away in arguing over how to do it or where to go or where to draw the line when children and youth especially argue and always come back with a combativeness. What is the attitude in your home? What is the atmosphere in the air? Is there joy and gladness and peace and contentment or is there combativeness in fighting? Ungrateful versus being thankful. Is there a joyful, thankful attitude in my home? Well, first of all, it has to be in my heart as a dad.

You know, as a dad, I'm always complaining. I'm telling my wife she didn't cook that right. She should have done it different.

My wife is saying, why couldn't you do it the other way? And there's tension between husband and wife. And there's an ungratefulness. And we don't appreciate and value each other.

You know, it's like the clouds descend and confusion comes upon the home. What's the atmosphere in your home? Is it cheerful? Is it joyful and a delight? And people can't wait to come home? Oh, they can't wait to come home. I'm so glad when the day of work is over.

I'm so glad when whatever I'm doing, I can come home to be with mom and dad and my brothers and sisters. Or is there depression in your home? Gloominess. Sadness.

Critical attitude. Judgmental. Oh, how sad.

We know these verses so well, but they are so true. Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it. I need all the help I can get from my Heavenly Father.

I need all the building wisdom from my Heavenly Father that He wants to give into my heart and life. I don't want to labor in vain. And I know you don't either.

As I've been praying and meditating about this message, I said to my wife, I want this message to be something that the church goes home excited and equipped and delighted that the sun comes out and the blessing of God is multiplied in your home. Oh, that's my heart's sincere desire. Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.

Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. All right, now I want all the married couples to stand. All the married couples here to stand.

Oh, God. Oh, God. We stand before You this morning.

We stand before You needy. We stand before You hungry and thirsty. We stand before You, Lord, looking unto You with desire.

Oh, Lord, with desire that You would build our homes. With desire that You would watch over us, Lord, and keep our homes and deliver us from the evil of our own flesh and of the devil who is the liar, the thief, the one who steals and kills and destroys. Oh, Father, look upon these husbands and wives.

Look upon these fathers and mothers and cause Your Holy Spirit to quicken their hearts. Cause them to see the beauty of holiness that You want in their lives for the glory of Jesus Christ, for the blessing of their offspring. Oh, God, have mercy upon us.

Father, we acknowledge our need this morning and we ask that You would minister by Your Holy Spirit into our hearts. Father, we ask that You would grant us conviction of the Holy Spirit that we may repent. And, Father, we ask that You would grant us the inspiration and the anointing of the Spirit of God that will quicken us and lift us out of our lethargy, our lukewarmness, our indifference, our quarreling, our fighting.

Oh, God, send forth Your Spirit and cause Your face to shine upon these husbands and wives and fathers and mothers that they may fulfill the calling of God in Christ Jesus and that their children may be blessed after them. We ask it in the name of Jesus. Amen.

You may be seated. I thought I was just going to talk to you like a father this morning and not raise my voice. But I'll say it again.

I'm not angry at you. I love you. And I want nothing to stand in the way from you receiving.

Somebody once told me, Aaron, when you shout like that, it makes me want to withdraw and sort of shield myself. Please forgive me if that's your response today. I love you.

And I don't want to harm anyone. And I know that it's not by the might of my voice or the loudness of my voice, but it's by my spirit, saith the Lord. And so I'm totally dependent upon God's Spirit.

It's not in quietness. It's not in loudness. It's not in weeping or laughing, but it's by the Spirit of God.

So, Lord, I do ask in Jesus' name, please anoint Your Word. Please grant grace for us to receive it. And help me, God, to do Your will.

In Jesus' name. I want to say this morning that Janice and I want to give all praise and glory unto Jesus for the Lord's mercy and grace upon us. And we hastily acknowledge that we are what we are by the merciful kindness and goodness and grace of God, by His favor upon our lives.

I have nothing to glory in this morning but in the Lord Jesus Christ. He that glorieth, letting glory in the Lord. It's not wrong to glory in the Lord, but we don't glory in what we have accomplished, because all that we are is because of what Jesus has done for us.

And I know, I know, there was times in my life where the devil was nipping at my heels. And I know there was a time, very clearly, I remember it very clearly, where the devil was nipping at my heels. And I remember exactly where I was, on the road, at that four-way stop sign.

When I stopped at that four-way stop sign, God spoke to me and said, Aaron, if you don't turn and repent, you're going to be destroyed. I was becoming discouraged, and I was giving place to the devil. And I didn't realize how serious it was, I just was sort of oblivious.

But I thank God for the gift of repentance. I thank God for the gift of conviction by the Holy Spirit of God. I thank God that the Lord delights in His children, and He knows how to deliver His children out of temptation.

I want to say this also, our youngest child was five and a half years behind all the rest of our children. God blessed Janice and I with eight children. And of course, you know, I'm an elder at the church.

I'm the lead elder. But I had this child that is a youth, is a teenager, and I'm giving myself to the work of the ministry. And I sort of thought I'm done raising my children.

And one day God spoke to me. He said, Aaron, you're not done yet. You need to turn your heart to your child, to your youth.

And I thank God for that. I bless God for that. And by the grace and mercy of God, the Lord showed His mercy toward us, and He delivered my children from the destroyer who wanted to destroy their lives and laid snares and entrapments.

Fathers, today I urge us, turn your heart, turn your heart to your children. I remember that spot on the road when I was coming home from a minister's meeting, and we were warring in some deep things, and my heart was heavy. I had about three miles from the meeting house to my house.

I was driving on Bomertown Road, and my heart was heavy. And the Lord spoke to me. You know, God speaks to His children.

You know that? My sheep hear my voice. They know me, and they hear my voice. You know, God wants to speak to you today.

I pray that you'll hear His voice today. God wants to speak to you on the way to work. He wants to speak to you when you lie upon your bed.

God wants to speak to you and reveal truth to your heart. I know right where I was when the Lord spoke to me on the way home from that meeting and said, Aaron, you can't go home like this. You need to, as it were, wash your face and anoint your head with the oil of joy for the spirit of mourning.

You need to put on that garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness and go home to your wife and your children with the joy of the Lord. Because if you come home discouraged and they know you were at the minister's meeting, that will be a negative influence upon their lives in effect for the name and testimony of Jesus and the church of Jesus Christ. I got on my knees there.

Well, I don't want to exaggerate here. I don't know if I got on my knees, but I know I stopped the vehicle and I cried out to God and I cast all my care on Him because He cares for you. All those heavy burdens, all those grievous things that we are sometimes called to bear, oh, cast them on Jesus for He careth for you.

And I can honestly say that that day I went home with a smile on my face and a spring in my step and my children came running out to Daddy. And I was so joyful to see them and they were so joyful to see me and we had a great time. Anything I say here today, I'm boasting and glorying in the Lord.

It's not because I'm so holy or so beyond you or any different than you. It is no secret what God has done for others He'll do for you. If God could deliver me out of that pit of fear and bondage, He can deliver you today! Oh, bless God! Well, I want to focus the attention on husbands and wives for a moment.

Love one another. Love one another. Malachi 2.15, And did he not make one? And wherefore one, that he might seek a godly seed? You know, He made us one in marriage not just so we can enjoy the marriage relationship, and yes, we do enjoy the marriage relationship, but He made us one that He might seek a godly seed.

Therefore, I'm going to talk to you fathers, I'm going to talk to you husbands, therefore take heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. Husbands, take heed to your spirit! You know, you can say the same thing, but it has two very different means. You can say, Oh, well, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I should have, yeah, I should have not done that. I'm sorry. Or we can say, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry that I failed the grace of God and I hurt you. Can you please forgive me? You see, what's a heart like? What's your spirit like? Do you have a broken and a contrite heart? When you sin against your wife, does it grieve you in your heart? Or do you just gloss it over and say, Oh, well, I'm sorry. Take heed to your spirit.

You know, husbands, we cannot afford, we cannot afford the high price of holding grudges against our wife. We cannot afford the high price of thinking evil against our spouse, our wife. We can't afford it.

The way you think in your heart about your wife is the way your spirit will act and be fed and respond and it will grow. I had to learn a lot of that the hard way. But God's working on me and I praise Him for that.

And I believe He wants to work in you today, dear husband. How is your spirit toward your wife? Is your spirit broken and humble and filled with grace, long-suffering, merciful, full of kindness? Husband, don't be like that one who the wife said, Would you please speak as kindly to me as you do to the stranger who knocks at the door? I was on a phone call with a brother from church who looked so pious, he looked so calm like he couldn't hurt a fly. He spoke so softly in church and one day I called him on the phone and he talked so gentle, so kindly to me and we ended the conversation.

And this was back in the day when the phone was on the wall. Some of you remember that yet. There was a telephone on the wall and it had a receiver that you had to hang up and click it down to disconnect the call, right? Anybody remember those? A few people.

Well, you know, if that clicker got a little stiff, sometimes if you hung it up too lightly, it didn't disconnect. And that's what happened that day. He hung up the phone on his end and it didn't disconnect.

And for some reason, the Lord had me just be a little slow in hanging up mine. And what I heard shocked and grieved me immensely. He thought it was just him and his wife.

And they began to shout at each other and to argue and trade hateful, hurtful words in loud, angry tones. No wonder his youth was having struggles. And you wonder what's wrong with the children that they look clouded and not clear in their countenance.

I want to urge us today in the few things that God has been teaching us over the years, you cannot afford to be a hypocrite. You cannot afford to be one thing at home and another thing at church. The price is too high.

No wonder the children turn their backs on their father's religion because he's a hypocrite. He's a fake. And they know it.

They know it. And when he gets up in church and testifies and everybody else says, oh, that was so good, brother, they just want to puke. Fathers, let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.

Take heed to your spirit. Husband, take heed to your spirit. Let's talk a little bit more about marriage.

God's design is that the two shall be one. No more twain, but one. Because they are joined together by God.

Now, becoming one flesh is not real difficult. But becoming one in spirit and in heart, that takes effort. That takes laying down my life.

That takes self-denial. That takes sacrificial love. God designed that you and your wife should be one.

Oh, oneness, oneness. Because when the two are one, beautiful things begin to happen. Wonderful things begin to happen.

Miraculous things begin to happen. You know, there's many a testimony. When mom and dad got right, the children got blessed.

This brother told me this testimony. It just so blessed me. He said God dealt deeply in my heart about my wrong attitudes and my selfishness.

And I got thoroughly right with God. I thoroughly repented to my wife. And she was convicted about her part in it as well.

And she got thoroughly right with God. And we wept our way through the cross. And he said our marriage was never anywhere close to the blessing and the oneness in what we're experiencing now.

And they were married for maybe 10 years. Well, their children go to a Christian day school. They never said anything to their children about what happened.

Children went to school. And I believe there was a school parent-teacher meeting that week, that Wednesday night perhaps. I'm not sure.

But anyway, they went there. And the school teacher came up to this husband and wife and said, I've noticed a huge change in your children. What happened? And they just rejoiced.

She said, you know, your children, I could never get them to look at me straight in the face. They always were looking down. I could never get them to really enthusiastically respond and engage.

It was a pole. It was like they were confused and in the clouds. But something happened.

Can you tell me what happened to your children? And they looked at each other. And they, I think, shared a brief testimony. And they just rejoiced because they saw it in their children at home too.

The lights are coming on. The countenance is becoming clearer. Wow.

They became one. And you know, if two of you shall agree, as touching anything that they shall ask, I believe one of the reasons the devil so fights against you and your wife being one and tries to plant some seeds of division in there is because he knows when you are one, ah, the power of prayer. Two agreeing together, touching their children for the blessing of God on their home.

I want to urge you today, husbands and wives, to do whatever it takes to stop the fighting, to stop always being against each other and get on the same team. Get on the same team. Wife, why do you always have to object to your husband's direction and suggestion and have a better idea? You know, you want to whittle down his manlyhood? Well, you just keep doing that.

And he'll get smaller and smaller. And his confidence in the Lord and his confidence in his position as a father and as a husband will keep getting diminished. And you may have what you wanted all along.

Now you're on the top. And your husband is a puppet underneath you. And you're controlling the shot.

This is very grievous. It's against the order of God. This is devilish.

This gives the devil a place in your home, in your marriage. Don't do it. Husband, why do you always have to be the boss? Why does it always have to go your way? Oh, but I'm the head of the home.

Well, but now, dear brother, Jesus loved His church so much that He gave Himself for it. So we husbands ought to love our wives as Christ loved the church. Don't forget, there's a preceding verse about husbands being the head of their home.

It says, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Yes, there is a headship order, and we do well to follow that because that is the way that God has ordained it. But I tell you, I have met many arrogant, belligerent husbands who just demand their wives' obedience.

And they're hard-hearted. They're cruel. They're selfish.

They're full of themselves and pride and arrogance. And they say, I'm the boss around here. And their poor wife is tagging along like not a helpmeet, not an equal in the presence of God, with the gifts of God, with the Holy Spirit of God in her.

Husband, you need to listen to your wife. I have saved myself a lot of trouble when I listen to my wife because she has an intuition and a walk with God that I need. And she has a wisdom that I need.

Now, she leaves the decision up to me. You know, Aaron, this is what I think. But you know, those are my thoughts.

You know, I leave it to you. You know why sometimes we need to allow our husbands to fail? Because God loves them, and He will instruct them, and He will discipline them and chasten them. Oneness.

No division. I urge you today, husbands and wives, whatever is causing division in your marriage, don't sweep it under the rug. I urge you, husbands and wives, today to get honest before God and say we will not continue one more day in this division being in our marriage.

I repent. Husband, you're the head of the home. You should lead the way.

Well, if she were spiritual, she would repent. I'm holding out on her. No, you need to be the spiritual leader and show the way.

You say, well, but it's 90% her fault. Well, you repent of your 10% then. No, you say, it's 99% her fault.

Well, then you repent of your 1% and see what God will do. And wife, you're holding out on your husband. You say, if he would just be a godly man like Brother Jerry, then I could follow him.

Well, if he would just be a godly man like Brother Mike or Brother Reuben, I could name all of you in here. Well, then I could follow him. Wife, submit unto your own husband.

You're not called to submit to that other husband. You're called to submit unto your own husband. And how are you supposed to do it? You're supposed to do it as unto the Lord.

I urge us today, don't let the devil have his way. Don't let the sun go down on your wrath. Before the sun sets tonight, get alone with God and repent.

And then get with your spouse and confess and repent. Stop fighting each other. Well, we've already addressed the fathers quite a bit in relation to their children.

We're going to talk a little bit more about that. Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.

Fathers, how do you look at your children? I hope you don't look at them as a bother. I hope you don't look at them as getting in your way when they want to help. I hope you don't look at them with disdain.

You know, I've had the opportunity over the years to be alongside young men and young ladies who wept bitterly because they could never please their father. They could never be good enough for him. They could never do it right enough for him.

And some fathers even went so far as to say those hurtful, condemning curses over their children. You will never amount to anything. You're stupid? Oh, it pains me to even say it.

Do you see your child? A precious soul created in the image of God? An eternal soul that has more value than if you gained the whole world? Made all the money in the world? Has the love of money got your heart? And you're pursuing your business with such pursuit and passion that you have no time for your children. Where is your heart, Dad? A dear brother in our fellowship just recently made a wise decision. He drives truck, hauls cattle to New York City.

And you know what? If I can haul two extra loads every week, I will be able to pay off my property in five years. But guess what? His children are ages, youngest is maybe two or three. The oldest one is a teenager.

And he has not made a decision for Christ. And he's probably 18 by now. And he's disillusioned.

Dad is obsessed with getting that farm paid off. And he has no time for the family. Well, my fellow pastor shared with this father a very loving admonition.

He said, I want to encourage you to make your children and your family and your marriage, because everybody struggles in their marriage as well, of course, because I mean, I'm trucking all the time. I want you to change your priorities. So what? Think about this, brother.

In five years, you'll have the property paid off. But where will your family be? What if you cut down to half the amount of trucking to New York City? You know, leaving at 3 a.m. in the morning or 2 a.m. in the morning and not getting back till 8 p.m. at night? What if you change your schedule and you drop it down to where you haul the load so you can haul comfortably in the daytime and give yourself to your children? And that brother took that counsel. It's been about three months now, and he's already seen fruit.

Because now he's home. He's home for supper. He's home to be with his children.

Dear brother today, where's your heart? He shall turn the heart of the fathers to their children. And then guess what happens? When the father's heart is turned to the children, the children respond in kind and the children's heart is turned to their father's. But don't wait too long.

Don't wait too long. Because once that youth has been tainted and gripped by the sins of the world, he may say, forget it, Dad. You weren't there for me when I wanted you.

Now you want me? Forget it, Dad. That's very sad when that happens. But there's one more thing a dad can do.

Him and his wife in agreement, in united prayer, can beg God for the Lord to save their son or daughter and bring him back from the pits of the destroyer. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger. Do not provoke your children to wrath.

But bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Do not exasperate them to the point of resentment by the demands that you make upon them that are trivial or unreasonable. Be reasonable.

Be real. Don't show favoritism. This has ruined many a child because, oh, he's Dad's favorite.

Oh, yeah, she's Mom's favorite. She can't ever do anything wrong. But me? I'm the black sheep of the family.

Bring them up tenderly with loving kindness and in the instruction of the Lord. Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment.

You have promised that it may be well with thee that thou mayest live long on the earth. Children, obey your parents. You know, this is even to three-year-olds.

This is even to four-year-olds. No matter what age you are, children, children, listen to the Word of the Lord and be wise. Receive instruction.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. That is, accept their guidance and their discipline. Accept your father's and mother's loving discipline.

Honor your father and your mother. Children, esteem highly your father and your mother. Value them as very precious.

Be respectful to them. You know, to have a godly father and mother is a rarity in these days. To have a father and a mother who have stayed together in marriage and who love God is a rarity in these days.

There are a lot of children on the streets of our cities living in one-parent homes who are abused and they have no love and they would give anything to be in your shoes. And they can't understand why you fight against your dad. We used to have children come out to our house when our own children were youth and working in the city ministry in Lancaster.

And sometimes those children would just beg to stay with us longer. We sometimes would let them stay overnight and we had good times together with them. And they longed.

Oh, they longed for what they saw. The acceptance and the love in our home. And we give all glory to God.

It's because of Him. But young people here today, why are you kicking against the prick? Why are you always arguing with your dad and saying, Oh, come on, dad. You're just old-fashioned.

That's too hard. Come on now. Why do you fight against your parents? Honor your father and your mother and be respectful to them and heed their counsel.

Many a person would trade places with you in a heartbeat who have no father who loves them. There's a stepdad there that's abusive, always cursing and yelling. Mom's boyfriends are always in and out.

And life is very hard. Today, the commandment of the Lord is, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right and this is a commandment with promise. This promise is that it may be well with thee.

You know, it doesn't go well with you when you rebel against father and mother. It does not go well with you when you're always arguing and creating disunity in the home. You know, and dad sometimes gets weary of trying to hold up the standard.

And you wear him down, and you break him down, until finally dad gets quiet. Don't do that. You need your father's counsel.

You need your father's advice. You need your father's instruction and admonition so that it may go well with thee. I want to talk to us parents in a positive manner here.

Just give us some nuggets to lay hold on, to apply in our hearts, in our lives. Every child needs B-L-S. Every child needs B-L-S.

Every child needs belonging. Every child needs to know that they belong. They belong.

They're an absolute integral part of this family unit. They belong. You are so glad they're a part of your family.

They are accepted. They know this is where I belong. Every child needs B-L-S.

They need to know that they have significance. Their life has value and worth. And your thoughts towards them are that they are of great value and worth, and they're important to you.

You want to hear their hearts. You value them to talk your ear off. Hey, you let them do that when they're 5 and 6 and 7. They'll still do it when they're 13, 14, 15.

But you push them aside with their little chatter. When they're young, they may not share with you when they're older. They need to know that they have significance, and that you have them in your heart and in your thoughts.

You love your children. You think upon them. And you want to hear what for aspirations they have, what for dreams they have, and you delight in the things that they pursue.

They need B-L-S. I skipped the L for last. They need our love.

They need our love. The Scriptures tell us that love is more powerful than death. The Scriptures tell us that many waters cannot quench love.

And I think of that many waters as all the allurements and the dazzle of the world. I think of those many waters as all of those temptations to draw your children away into sin. Many waters.

Oh, but I'll tell you what, if your children know that they are loved and they are delighted in, and they're the apple of your eye, guess what? Temptation presented itself to me one day, and I had the choice. I could have partaken of that sin that would have been very pleasurable, but I thought of my mom and dad. And I thought of their love for me.

And I thought of how it would break their hearts if I would partake of that sin. You know, love is powerful. Love is stronger than death.

And many waters cannot quench love, Do your children know without a doubt that they're the apple of your eye. They're the delight of their Father. You delight in them.

They're the delight of their mother. Every child needs BLS, belonging, love, and significance, value. Well, I see my time is far spent.

I just want to thank you again for giving me this opportunity to share. And we'll have a few closing thoughts here yet. Like I shared in the beginning, I don't believe it's more scriptural teaching that we need.

You know your Bibles well. It's practice that we need. It's obedience that we need.

It is heart that we need. It's spirit that we need. Because you know what? We can go through the motions.

We can do all the right things going through the motions. Yeah, God said to Israel, away with your solemn assemblies, away with your sacrifices, away with your new moons and your tapas. I am sick to burn.

Why? Because it has just become a formal outward religion. You say, Lord, Lord, in the church Sunday morning, hallelujah, but your heart is far from me. Invest.

Invest. Pay the price for oneness in your marriage. Invest in your children with BLS and be intentional.

Be intentional. Go on family trips together. Do things together.

Let your children know they're more important to me than a fatter paycheck. They're more important to me than overtime. They're more important to me than that OT.

Yeah, that overtime. Oh, more money. How scarce they shall be that love riches enter the kingdom of heaven.

Come on now. How hardly shall they have that trust in their riches. Those that pile up great riches, it shall be as a canker.

It shall be as a cancer that eateth at their soul. Oh, it's sad to see what people will change, give in exchange for their own soul and the souls of their children. Be intentional.

Go on family outings and trips together. And you know what? You say, but I can't afford it. Well, let me tell you something.

Some of the most memorable family times we had together didn't cost us a dime. You don't have to spend money. You just have to play games with your children in the backyard.

Maybe you just need to go down the road about 10 miles and there's that trail, that bicycle trail with the longest covered bridge in Ohio. And you take your children down there with their bikes and you go riding on that trail. And you invest in your children.

You do family things together. Picnics. Oh, our family loved picnics.

Doesn't take a lot of money. You're going to eat anyway. Come on now.

Doesn't cost more to do a picnic. Do a picnic together. Go back to the park where they have that nice swing set that you can't afford in your own yard and you wouldn't really want it in your own yard anyway.

But go ahead. Invest in your children. Go boating together.

Just a canoe is fine. You don't have to rent that 300 horsepower boat that costs $1,000 to rent one day. You don't have to do that.

You just take that kayak and that canoe. It costs you a few dollars. And you go out on that lake and you explore God's creation together.

Create memories. Some of our most memorable times were sleeping out in our backyard. Yeah, we just drag on a couple sleeping bags, lay a tarp down, and we sleep out in the backyard.

And we look up at the stars at night. We find a switch to that dusk to dawn light and we turn it off so it gets real dark. And then we enjoy looking up at the stars.

And you never know. You might be in for a surprise. Maybe a critter will come around.

We had some of that stuff happen. Maybe some thief will come around. We had that happen.

We were sleeping out in the backyard. And I said, come on, let's not sleep on the back porch. Let's go way out as far as we can back there in the field.

And we were sleeping out in our backyard. And it was about, I don't know, 4, 35 a.m., 4 a.m. My wife woke me up. She said, I heard a man.

I heard a voice of a man. I said, oh, I don't. Really, you think so? Yeah, she said I did.

I said, just listen. And I listened. And soon I heard the voice of a man.

He was on our back porch. Whoa. And we're out there in the yard, and this man's on our back porch between us and our house.

What are we going to do? You talk about memories. Whoa. Didn't forget that one.

And then it all ended fine. I had my cell phone with me out there, and I crawled under my sleeping bag as far as I could and got on my cell phone. And my son, Jonathan, lived only two miles away, so I called him.

We're sleeping out in the backyard, and there's a man on our back porch. Can you come? So he came, and he drove around the house and came around the back and showed his legs right on the back porch. And the man ran.

But Jonathan jumped out of his car and confronted him. He said, what are you doing here? This is my parents' place. What are you doing out here? Oh, he was sort of half incoherent.

But we left him go. But you know what? That man dropped his wallet. So after he was gone, we found his wallet, driver's license, credit cards, everything.

And he was from New Holland. So we went down to the New Holland police and said, do you know this guy? Have you ever heard about him? Oh, they said he's an awful, dangerous fellow. I said, dangerous? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. You don't want to mess with him. Oh, man.

My heart sunk. Thankfully, he wasn't armed that night. My son could have been killed.

The policeman scolded me. He said, don't call your son. Call the police.

This guy's wanted. There's a warrant out for him. Whoa.

Making memories. Family memories. Well, the police picked him up.

I think only a day or two later, they picked him up. Sometimes when you sleep, you get more than you bargained for. And you make memories that are longer lasting than you thought they would be.

All of our children remember that one, that were present at that night. You know, engaging your family, campfires, sitting around the campfire, telling stories about when you were a boy, things that happened in your life that are a good example to teach right character and doctrine. One of the things that we enjoy doing, we just share a few things here.

Like I say again, all glory to Jesus, hallelujah. We wanted to do something we could do with our children. So we got involved with the Office of Aging in Lancaster County, Office of Aging.

And there's convalescent homes where there's a lot of souls sitting that get no visitors. They're forgotten by their family, neglected, don't want nothing to do with them. And there they sit in that convalescent home.

And that Office of Aging said, we will provide you places to go all you want. And so we went in there to these places where you sort of had to hold your nose because they were state funded and they were underfunded and understaffed and they weren't very pleasant. But you know what, we went in there and it taught our children to love people and to accept people at where they are.

And some of these belly folks would want to put their arms around our children and hug them. And we'd go in there and just share, sing songs. Children would say poems or Bible verses.

And it was just a real blessing. So I want to encourage you, Brother Jerry, sometimes take your family along. Maybe you don't want to take them along to the college campus, but maybe some places you can.

You know, do things together as a family and make memories. We'd walk down through Lancaster City Street. And forgive me for this, but I did it.

I played a five string banjo. Yeah, I did. I did.

I played that five string banjo and one of my oldest sons from the guitar and we walked down through the city street and our little children that were six and seven and nine and ten, they were passing out tracks, holding out a track, looking up into the eyes of these drug dealers, passing out tracks. And we were singing, Jesus loves me this I know. Drumming on that old banjo, picking away on that guitar.

And you know, it was just such a blessing. One night I had a pretty terrible experience. We were walking down the street.

I don't know if it was green and lime, but it was a section of the town there, of the city, that was pretty rough. And we saw this group of people up ahead, basically blocking the sidewalk. And in my heart, I sort of had a check.

Do we keep going or do we turn around? Well, I decided to keep going. And we kept going. And we walked up to that crowd of maybe about, I don't know, Janice, if you remember, maybe 12, 20, ages 30 and under probably.

Rough guys. And they looked at us and they didn't quite know what to do with us, whether they should let us through or not. And we just kept singing.

And my little children went up to them without any fear, holding the tracks up. They finally parted way and left us through. But some of the guys that I picked out as probably the gang leader just looked at me very angry and stern.

Chains hanging on them, rings. Well, we made it through. Kept on going down the street.

And then a man came out who was watching us from his porch. Came out on the street and stopped me. He said, you know, now I know.

You have no idea probably what just happened and who those people were. But he said, I live here. And he said, I just want to share this with you because I care.

And I'm concerned for the safety of you and your family. That those guys don't blink an eye to do whatever stands in their way to get what they want. Whoa.

That put a little check on me. It really did. I believed God had mercy on me and sent that messenger.

So we were a bit more careful after that. We didn't stop, but we were more careful to where we went. Well, you have been very kind and respectful.

And I have taken great liberty to keep you so long in this message. Again, I thank you. And like we prayed for your homes and for moms and dads, may God bless you.