Marriage

Ephesians chapter 5 verse 21. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord.

And the husband is the head of the wife. Even as Christ is the head of the church, he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives. Even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish.

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever hiddeth his own flesh, but nourisheth, cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.

For we are members of his body, and of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and there too shall be one flesh. This is the great mystery.

But I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself unto his wife, see that she reverence her husband. Now that is our reading, and with the Lord's blessing.

Already today we rejoice that there has been faithful ministry aimed at assembly issues on the needs of our day. Unlike what has been expressed by our brethren already, there has been something on my mind as to this meeting, and I would rather speak it. But the Lord seems to have led upon my heart a message that it would not be right for me to withhold.

And so I want to speak about the matter of marriage. Marriage. Before you lift your eye from the text, I want to think about the wife, the submissive helper, the submissive helper.

The husband. The patron is that of a sacrificial lover. Sacrificial lover.

And I want in particular to think of marriage, the symbolic purpose. The submissive helper, the sacrificial lover, the symbolic purpose. Our Bible commences with a man and his wife, Adam and Eve, in marriage.

The New Testament commences with a man and his espoused wife, Joseph and Mary of Nazareth. Here we are reading in Ephesians 5, a church epistle. Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church.

The Bible ends with the marriage. The marriage of the Lamb has come. And his wife hath made herself ready.

And so, from creation, before sin entered this scene down here, in the book of Genesis, we have the pattern of marriage. To the end of our Bible, in the fullness of redemption and divine purpose, we see that the mind of God is that his blessed son should have a bride by his side. God's mind is marriage.

He created man and created this scene down here. When he brought apart the temporal structure of this world that is about us, he said it was good. He concluded, as he looked upon his creation, that it was very good.

But as he thought about man without a helpmate, he said, not good. Not good. An institution of God.

An abiding structure for the welfare of humanity, for the joy of life. When the Lord was upon earth, he took a little child and set it upon his knee. Procreation.

And so, before sin and after sin, before sin had entered this scene, God brought about the institution of marriage. And after sin is driven from the scene, there will be a bride at the Savior's side in glory. It has been well said that the last blessing of paradise that has been preserved to us is marriage.

The last blessing of paradise. The devil has attacked all that has been to God's glory. And sin has entered.

And the devil and the serpent undermined the thinking of our first parents as to the very well-being, the very well-being of mankind, as to the very purposes of God. And down through the ages, what can we say as we come to the end of this age? There's an all-out attack as we've been reminded upon assembly testimony. And if there's a needful ministry as we handle the matter of marriage, is it not so? That as far as this world is concerned, and the schemings of the devil is concerned, and sadly so even amongst God's people, an attack upon the matter of marriage.

Genesis 1 says, in the image of God created he him. That is, God created man at the apex and he fell, contrary to the theories of men. He was at the top.

He was monarch of all he surveyed. But he dropped down. The glory of God was attacked by the devil.

Sin entered. That marriage union in God's mind was brought to, was brought to sad conditions. Murder entered that first family circle into a spiral of downward, a downward degradation.

Mankind has plummeted in the matter of marriage. Male and female created he them. God is the historical order.

He created different, different. God is the God of variety. God made things to differ.

That hand there, there are four fingers and a thumb. If they were all fingers, it would be awkward. If they were all thumbs, it would be very awkward.

They give us a left foot and a right foot. If we all both had just left feet, it would be very awkward. God created things to differ.

The, the teaching of our Bible, the teaching of 1 Corinthians chapter 11 is, if you're a man, be a man. If you're a woman, be a woman. And again, it's contrary to society that is about us.

And so, my dear brother, dear sister, again I say, if you're a man, be a man. My dear sister, even as going, going, only going down to the shopping mall, if you're a woman, be a woman. He said, I will create them to help me.

Literally, a helper agreeing to him. That is the moral order of creation. He made a woman a helpmate, a counterpart, mentally, physically, emotionally.

God's not thought as a woman and a woman or a man and a man. The Savior himself said, male and female. That's not the standard of modern society.

The standard of modern society is the standards of barnyard animals. Civil laws, modern weather it is, this country or the country from which I come from, civil laws ebb and flow and public opinion is catered for. But God's standard in the purposes that are divine for you and I for the well-being of humanity and for the blessing of God's assemblies is still that of marriage.

Male and female. It says he he brought her unto the man. That is the first marriage.

There's something about it of honor, of innocence, of communion, of beauty. Not just an answer to man's loneliness, but to share his joys and his sorrows. To find joy with his delights.

To enter into his troubles. Just to be not togetherness, to help, to complete, to support her husband. Husband will ever desire to hover in his seat, to listen to her voice, to enjoy together the privileges of life.

Maybe tames to be together when they're discouraged. She would be there to encourage. One is hurt, the other is there to help.

The ups and downs of life. You know what I'm talking about. The togetherness of life.

Listening, together, sharing, understanding. You and I in particular, believing the truths of trusting, of comforting. Could I say on the divine standard, forgiving.

Oneness. Oneness. And so the standard is declared here in this passage.

First recorded in Genesis 2 24. Man shall leave his father and mother, cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. In that instruction, there is that threefold step of leaving, of cleaving.

A leaving that is public. A man shall leave his father and his mother, leave his parents home, establish his own family unit under his own name, publicly known by that name. It implies not just physical, but intellectual, moral, emotional responsibility brought together, not to abandon elderly parents.

But you see, it's recorded in the early chapters of our Bible. Man shall leave his father and mother. Now quite obviously, Adam wasn't leaving his father and mother.

And so we see that in the early chapters of our Bible, God is establishing that standard, that standard for the teaching of humanity and for the good of mankind. And shall cleave unto his wife, to cling to, to stick to, to be glued to. God's understanding was that inseparable bond, that permanent relationship, that indispensable oneness.

Not to do, well, it's not sexual gratification, but it's that permanent commitment to one another, of feelings and of motion and coming together, cleaving in the unity of a mature life, in beliefs, in values, in goals, independent of circumstances, maybe of trials. Maybe you're here today where we preach sympathetically. I'm not here to, I'm not here to offend anyone.

We're not in the business of offending people. But you know, we preach sympathetically. It's good when things go well.

But maybe you're here, my dear brother and sister, and the trials of family life, and the trials of home life, and the difficulties when the family can't come along, and we, we preach sympathetically. If there's one class of the believer that we're so sympathetic to, it's young believers that are bringing in upon this scene down here, a little family, a little family of boys and girls, on the very verge of the Lord's coming, in the fearful day in which we live. A cleaving that is public, a cleaving that is permanent, a union that is personal, and it says, they shall be one flesh, two distinct personalities that become one, a dualism that becomes an individualism in the oneness of life, oneness of life.

Adam looked upon his bride, and he did rejoice, and he said, now, this is bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh. That is when Adam first received his wife. Nothing to do with a marital bed.

When he first received his wife, brethren, bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. Both together, both together in that relationship. Not made in a marriage bed, nothing to do with sexual intimacy.

Oh, yes, the statement of the present fact when Adam was speaking was not dependent upon a physical union. And so we come to the passage that we've read together. What do we believe about this marriage? An institution of God.

The Savior said, Matthew 19, 6, what God hath joined together, let no man put apart. That is, a wedding. That bond entered into openly, publicly, legally, accordance with the customs of that are national.

A public declaration that they have come together into a new family unit, setting up, setting up according to the local laws. Is it not an opportunity for dignity? For testimony? Two believers coming together for the glory of God. Would it not be an occasion to raise voices of prayer and praise? The reading of the scriptures? Would that not be occasion to a dignity? Dress and covering, that which is dignified.

You know, near where I live, there's a large hotel complex. Especially in the summer, you'll see a garden party. And you know, scanty dress, immodesty, almost nakedness, sort it.

That's the world. That's the pattern of the world. A few months ago, I was passing by.

I heard about the wedding. I'd forgotten. And I looked over and there they were.

A wedding of two believers. Assembly Christians gathered together. It looked so good with the dignity of all that was with a head covering for the reading of the scriptures.

Amongst this decadent morality that is all about us. Not a long thing but, brethren, brief. A brief message of the gospel.

Not smutty speeches. Not loose talk. Oh, this is not a matter today, the retreat later.

An institution of God. A monogamous relationship. He brought her to the man.

The standard of my Bible and your Bible is a husband of one wife. He's to be a one-woman man. You know, polygamy was tolerated in the Old Testament.

It was a disaster in Abram's household. It was a disaster in Jacob's household. It was a clean disaster in the household of Elkanah.

The standard would be fidelity to one wife. Oh, yes, that marital, that marital fidelity that forbids divorce and remarriage even before conversion. My dear brother, my dear sister, let us face what the Bible says.

That heterosexual relationship. Every man his own wife. 1 Corinthians 7, let every man have her own husband.

In the conditions of Corinth, the impurity of that fearful city, the normal safeguard. Oh, that might be so because of the urgency and the shortness of time that there might be some deny themselves that right. Oh, yes, but in the normal safeguard against the impurity of the conditions in Corinth, due conjugal rights to each other.

A monogamous relationship. A heterosexual relationship. A formal public relationship of a new family unit.

And so we have it again. Repeat it, Genesis 2. Repeat it again in Matthew in a Jewish context. In the synoptics in a Gentile context.

Here in Ephesians 5, 31, in a church context for this cause, shall a man leave his wife and mother. That responsibility. He has taken that responsibility of protecting, providing for, head of a new household.

A binding, lifelong relationship. Broken only by death. I would be pretty sure today, in fact certain, that there's some who do not agree with what I'm saying.

And so it's incumbent upon me to fall behind the Bible. Indeed, what the Savior preached. Mark 10, verse 11.

Luke 16, verse 18. The Savior said, divorce and remarriage is adultery. Romans 7, a woman hath her husband bound by the law so long as he liveth.

If her husband be dead, she is free from the law. Rather than straightforward, the Savior taught it. He didn't say something different in Matthew's Gospel.

Paul didn't say something different to what the Savior taught in 1 Corinthians chapter 7. And so it is that binding relationship broken only by death. A real relationship in the passage we've read of headship and submission. Wives be in subjection unto their own husbands.

It's in the middle voice. It's a willing, freewill subjection. Not human responsibility.

It's not just etiquette. It's not some Victorian tradition. It's not some slavish dictatorship.

But it says as unto the Lord. And so we're thinking of that supreme loyalty. The husband with that love and affection.

Subjection unto him. He is the provider, the protector, the preserver. He's caring for her safety, for her security, for her welfare.

The supreme example, my dear brother, dear sister, is the blessed Savior himself. Co-equal with the eternal God. Thought it not robbery to be equal with God.

That passage from which I'm quoting Philippians chapter 2 says obedient. Obedient unto death, even cross death. Though equal with God, he was.

In subjection, submission, in that submissive service, obedient. And so we have the wife upholding, a helpmate. You know, in a few hours in the will of God, you and I will sit down to remember the Lord.

But it would usually be so that the emblems would be placed upon a table. Now we would be thinking about the emblems. We wouldn't think much about the table.

When it's all over, you can hardly describe the table. Likely covered in a cloth. But you see, that table is an indispensable support for the emblems.

Just a simple illustration. The emblems wouldn't be there if they weren't supported by the table. My dear sister, there is no substitute for this.

A godly, sanctified sister in her own submission, in her own sphere. That is a credit to her husband. That is upholding her husband.

That is the strength of all that is in the home and all that is in the family in submission. A real relationship of headship. And don't be afraid of it.

It's in the Bible, submission. A functional relationship of sacrificial love and submissive help. What we're reading from today, in these verses, the lofty heights of Ephesians.

You'll not get any higher. Yet in the practical section of the book, we have the dignity of God's purpose. My dear brother, my dear sister, it'd be a good conference today, amidst the stench of this world and the rottenness of society that is about us, that we might be enabled to breathe the breath of heaven.

That we might be enabled to reach into the pure blue of the eternal purpose. That we might even, in the ministry this afternoon, raise in our thinking to that which would be a reflection to the glory of God. The waif, the submissive helper.

Waif, submit yourselves to your husband. Verse 22 is unto the Lord. The word is submit.

Be subject. Not as I said, like a table. The word could really be translated, the place under to hold up support.

Hmm? No substitute for this, I tell you. As to our husband and his service. As to the assembly.

As to the home. As to the work. Family responsibilities.

Ah yes, it is so. Thy desire shall be unto thy husband, he shall rule over thee. That which is even in an unsaved husband, that she might win him over.

Without the word, says Peter, without chaste conversation. I'll not beat it out, but the words are here. Rule, submit, reverence, subjection.

That is completely contrary to modern feminist movements. That is completely contrary to modern preachers of our day. That are wishy-washy in the truth that I'm teaching.

You see, a godly waif, in that submission of obedience, it will be as unto the Lord she's obeying. As if she's obeying the Lord. That will determine how she spends the money.

Cares for the family. Looks after the home. Don't be afraid of it.

It's here. Reverence. That loving admiration.

Not that slavish, cringing thing. Not that sullen agreement. Not that nagging.

You know, that sullen huffing. I don't know what words you have. You got the word tantrum here, hmm? Maybe the those are in the home.

That's the example the family will follow. Be careful, dear sister. That attitude soon comes across.

The wife, I know, she might be better educated. She might be more clever. She might come from a richer family community.

Never marry. Never marry the man that you don't love enough to obey. Got that? Got that, young sister? Never the marry the man that you don't love enough to obey.

Say some young sister, and we're glad to see some of them here. How would I get the right man? I want to tell you, young sister, that's the wrong, that's the wrong question. You should be asking around the Word of God today.

Am I the right woman? Am I the right woman to attract a godly young man? Am I the right woman to attract a godly young man that studies his Bible? That would serve the Lord? That would have a desire for the assembly? That would have a desire for the things of God and to rear a little family to the glory of God? Hmm? Oh, that will preserve her from sulking and that unhappiness. Mind you, there's not a crypt into the marriage of unhappiness and mistrust. Do you know what it is? It's a waning of the love.

The wife submissive helper, the husband. Verse twenty-five, sacrificial lover. Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it.

How did Christ love the church? Sacrificial love. What about the husband? How does he love his wife? Sacrificial love. Not for her beauty or attraction.

Not for some advantage. Not an answer to his loneliness or to his various needs. The example in Christ.

Christ bore the guilt that was not his own. Brother, if you love her, you'll forgive her. If you really love her, you will forgive her.

What's it say here? It says he gave himself. He handed himself over. We have the word love six times here.

It's imperative. It's unconditional. Not dependent upon merit.

Not dependent upon some response. It's not just an emotional thing and it's certainly not passion. The same pattern.

It cannot be to the same degree as Christ. But the same pattern. As Christ, as Christ loved the church, gave himself for it.

That is the husband you have concern for the highest good of his wife. We handle the other side of the thing. Mind you some dear sisters, some women, they're married to slackers, to shrinkers, to weaklings, to quickers.

We have every sympathy for them. Ah yes, but you know what's to the husband? With that love. That love.

The glory of God. The example of Christ. The example of Christ.

You know, life, life pertains to the Christian, no matter what sphere of priorities. We're living in a day of materialism. When of a former generation things were luxuries, we now think they're necessities.

And you know the reasoning. Have I to give up my overtime? Have I to give up my dollars? Have I to give up my vacation? Have I to give up my social time? Have I to give that up for the assembly for the things of God for my wife? Brother, sister, there is one little word that settles it all. It's in the passage we've read.

He gave himself. He gave himself. The standard, my dear brother, dear sister, is that blessed man who was thorn reed proud and married back, took that Roman cross upon his furrowed back and carried it outside the city of Jerusalem and went to Calvary's cross and shed his precious blood.

And you and I, is it a light matter? We're not talking about fundamental things. Just forgive her. What are we talking about? You know, all made beds, all eatable meals, dusty rooms, sharp tongue.

You come home some night, you're tired, you're hungry. She's burned the dinner. What do you do? I tell you what you do.

You put your teeth into it and you get it down your throat and then you close your teeth and keep your tongue behind it. Forgive her. I can see you're listening.

You know, the first speaker in the afternoon is a bit of a job after, after that large meal we've had. Keep the people awake. I don't see anybody sleeping in this audience.

And I know that we're, we're getting close to the, close to the very secret of living down here. Oh yes, the trials will come and the difficulties will come. The trial of poverty might come.

Days of recession. As life goes on, the days of sickness will come. Family days of responsibility.

There'll be disappointments will come. And if it's the ordinary course of life, old age will come. You know, I often think it, there's something beautiful to look upon an old couple and they'll tell you about 40, 50, 60 years together.

And you know what? The trials of life have just brought them closer together. Things haven't been easy and difficulties have been real. But just forged in the fires of trials and difficulties, draws them closer together.

The sacrificial lover. Verse 27, the symbolic purpose, the marriage. What is the purpose of all this and what is the teaching of Ephesians? The greatest of all example that he might presented to himself.

A glorious church. Marriage. Two believers brought together in a yoke forged in the purposes of God and ratified by the Scriptures to reflect that relationship.

That relationship with Christ on the church. You might not have agreed with all I'm going to say or have said. But you know, it'd be a good, it's a good conference.

Our brother's been reminding us of the, of the churches. The one that moves in the midst of the golden lampstands. I was thinking of him this morning.

Feet of brass. Eyes as a flame of fire. That sharp two-edged sword.

There's a sharpness to the word of God. Maybe there's things personally that we have to go home today and renew Gilgal. The place of the sharp knife.

Maybe we need spiritual circumcision. Just personally cuts a few things off. What about relationships and marriage? In that home, before the family, in these vague things that pertain to the blessing of the assembly.

In that relationship, is there that which Christ can recognize of himself? That Christ can recognize of himself than it's to his glory. Young unmarried woman, your sister today, well, how can I get that man, the right man? As they've said, your question is, have you the right woman? Are you the right woman for a spiritual young man? A young man that would be reading his Bible, looking for a godly way. That which is to the glory of God.

Young unmarried man, the normal course of life. I'm amazed, you know. Some young men, when they pass by that God-fearing, spiritual, godly young sister, and they turn to that, that painted face, that cut hair, that colored hair, those raised hemlines, those dropped necklines, that's spiritually the sister you want? Is that spirituality? Is that, is that what you want? Is that the standard? Oh, yes.

There are still those sisters, 2014, that live in the fear of God in their own sphere. And they are treasures from the sanctuary of God. Those of us who are married, hmm? This world is a filthy place.

A disgusting place. You know, there's one of the assemblies in Russia, and I've tromped many a night home to where we were staying, from where the assembly is. In a dark night on a Russian, in a Russian city, with two Russians believers brethren beside me.

On the peril of my life to speak a word of English. But look straight in front. Sometimes in those streets there'll be a drunk.

Vodka. Kick the death. Round the corner where we stay.

Not just women, but men. Prostitution. Sordid.

Rotten. Debauchery. That is the world in which you and I live.

You know, there's nothing to be compared with. To come home. To a godly wife.

To a clean home. Some of us be away maybe a few months. Just to come home.

To that which we call home on earth. Where there's something of the atmosphere of heaven. And put on her best clothes and go down to the best restaurant in town.

And give her a nice meal for she deserves it. And apologize to nobody. What's the ponderin'? As Christ also loved the church.

And gave himself for it. What a day that will be. When we gaze upon her, blessed Lord.

And a sight to her was granted. That she should be a red. Garments clean and white.

The braid. There'll never be the wrinkles of age. There'll never be the infirmities of the body.

Said Rutherford when I stand before the throne. Dressed in beauty not my own. Then Lord shall I fully be.

Not till then. Yes, it will be then that we know how much we owe. In the meantime, young brother, young sister, whatever state is in life.

And for those in the marriage theater. For we might leave the day. And in this time of his rejection.

In this scene darn here whatever time has left us. There's an all-out attack as we've been hearing. Upon assembly through.

Upon God's assembly. And upon marriage. May there be something in that marriage.

In your home. Together. In that godly togetherness.

That is to the reflection of the good pattern of Christ on the church. May God bless his word.