Kindness, An Essential Virtue for Women

A few nights ago, I couldn't get sleep like most of us, some nights it happens to us. I couldn't sleep and I was awake for a long time. Then I remembered a tip which my granddaughters had told me, before you go to sleep, think of some good things and then you'll be able to sleep. So I took their advice and then I started thinking of many of the good things that happened to me, which God had given me so freely in my life. So I went back to my childhood days, as far back as I could remember, and I thought of the time when a lot of children had an epidemic going around, it was whooping cough. And many of us, my cousins and all of us who were small at that time, got that illness. And I remember very vividly that my cousin sister, who was about two years old, she died. And my mom was expecting a baby and that baby was born and she also died a few minutes after she was born. Maybe my mom was exposed to that virus. So, and we all were sick, all of us children were coughing and coughing for a long time. Now, looking back, I think how good God was that He allowed me to and us to live, those who didn't survive that sickness, He allowed us to go through that, but He allowed us to live and brought us safely out. And that was one memory. And then I thought of a time when, I mean, a lot of childhood sicknesses saved me and times when I couldn't swallow. And I could remember the times when my dad used to dip bread in a milk, a little bit of milk and put it in the side of my mouth so I could swallow it easily. And I heard of children who had sore throat and they got heart disease and died. Then I thought how God preserved me, even though I had sore throats, God preserved my life. Then food poisoning, that was a big thing. All of us ate the same food, but I almost died. And the Lord pulled me out of the grave almost from that. Arthritis, so many, many, many things the Lord had preserved me and saved me and most of all, given me the gift of salvation and made me His child. That was the most wonderful thing that God could do for me. I would have been lost in living for the world and living for myself, but He gave me the gift of salvation and made me His child. And I started thanking God. And before I realized, I drifted back to sleep. Then when I woke up in the morning, I thought, really, I must make a, I must meditate on the, not wait for the night to think about God's goodness and kindness to me. So I opened my Bible and I started looking up some verses about the loving kindness of God. I took a hymn book and I started, a song came to my mind. I won't read the whole song, but a few verses came to my mind and it's an old English song, hymn which says, through all the changing scenes of life, in trouble and in joy, the praises of my God shall still my heart and tongue employ. O magnify the Lord with me, with me exalt His name. When in distress to Him I called, He to my rescue came, the host of God and camp around the dwellings of the just. And so it goes on. You make but trial of His love, experience will decide how blessed are they and only they who in His truth confide. So sometimes I have the habit of reading a hymn or singing a hymn which comes to my mind. So I did that and then I opened my Bible and tried to find some verses about the loving kindness of God. And I was so blessed. So I thought I'd share some of those with you. One of those verses is, we all know that was Psalm 103, verse 1, bless the Lord, oh my soul, and forget not all His benefits. Then another verse which, Psalm which came to me, I just want to read a few verses from that. Psalm 63, verse 6, it says, when I remember you on my bed, I meditate on you in the night watches. I thought, so act for me, when I remember you on my bed, I meditate on you in the night watches. For you have been my help. And in the shadow of your wings, I sing for joy. My soul clings to you. Your right hand upholds me. And then earlier we see, verse 3, it says, your loving kindness is better than life. My lips shall praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live. I will lift up my hands in your name. My soul is satisfied with marrow and fatness. My mouth offers praises with joyful lips. So I thought of those and then I wrote down a few verses. I'm not going to read all those verses, but these verses made me think of the loving kindness of our Lord. Psalm 105, verse 5, it says, remember the wonders he has done. So seek his face. Then in Hosea, chapter 11 and verse 4, it says, he led me with cords of kindness. And brought me with bonds of love. What wonderful words that he brought us with the cords. He didn't bring us, lead us with a stick to punish us, but with cords of love and kindness he brought us. Then in Ephesians 2, verse 7, there's a verse which we all know. He has shown kindness towards us. Then in Luke 1, 78, John the Baptist's father was praising God and he said, your tender mercy, that I think of the tender mercies of our God. So these are some of the few of the verses which I started meditating on. And I thought of God's loving kindness towards us. And when I thought of his loving kindness and his tender mercies, you know, one picture comes to my mind. I saw a video with my grandchildren had sent me of them holding the little chickens in their hand, the newly hatched chickens they were holding in their hand so tenderly and their tiny wings were flapping because they were scared they might fall off and they held them so tenderly. And I also thought of some of the deliveries which I conducted when I was working and some babies were premature, really premature, so tiny that I was afraid to hold them in my hand because any moment they would wince and I would see their eyebrows come closer together as if they were in pain any moment or the way I held them. And I thought that was in memory that I have and I think of loving kindness. And I think of God when he holds us, he's full of that loving kindness and tender mercies and he holds us. And I thought he must be thinking, these my children, they are made of dust. I made them out of dust. They're so fragile. One day they'll return to dust. But I know they will survive because I breathed my Holy Spirit into them. My spirit, I breathed into them and so they will come through. I'll hold them so tenderly, but they'll come through because I've given them that powerful Holy Spirit and they will make it through till the end. So when we have fears about around thinking of what's going to happen to us, the COVID crisis and all anxious thoughts come to our mind, thoughts about our children. And right now, some of us are facing the fact that the truth that we have to accept the fact that our children have to be homeschooled. And for some mothers, it's very new and very scary. And we think that we have to our children have to spend maybe a whole year, maybe six months or a whole year with their lessons by themselves. And they're at home and things are going to be different for them. And we have to help them to go through. There are no teachers there to help them to go through this. We have to be around with them. And all those thoughts, when they come to us, we can be assured of the fact that the Lord will take us through these things. He remembers that we are dust and his loving kindness and his faithfulness and his goodness come to to us in every situation. You know, the song comes to me often in tenderness. He sought me weary and sick with sin and on his shoulders brought me back to his fold again. He dealt with us so tenderly and he'd taken good care of us all these years. And he's not going to drop us in the middle of the ocean or in the middle of this virus. He's going to take us and our families and our loved ones through safely. We can safely trust in him. So when we think of the loving kindness of our Lord and we meditate on him and we are soaked in that loving kindness of our Lord and we enjoy and we are secure in that and say, Lord, thank you for your loving kindness. Thank you for your tender mercies. What more do I need? If I have you, I can face any trial and you can you'll see me through. That's our rest and that's our assurance. But the Lord, that's God's part, which God did for us. And the Lord doesn't want us to just keep meditating on the loving kindness of God and singing about it and dancing and rejoicing about it. We have to do our part. And that's what I want us to meditate on right now. Our part is we have to walk worthy of that loving kindness which God has given us. We have to show gratitude to him by our life, how we are going to live and how we are going to, are we going to just selfishly accept that loving kindness which he has so bountifully showered on us and just breathe and eat it and drink it and live for ourselves? No, we have to do our part. And there also I found some verses which remind us our part. It says in Ephesians 4.1, walk worthy of him who loved us. He loved us so much, we have to work worthy of him. In Philippians 1.27, it says, let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel. The good news that God gave us, let our life be worthy of that. We cannot be living in self-pity and crying about our lot. We have to live in a way that we are worthy of the of the Lord who gave us so much. And in 1 Thessalonians 2.12, it says, as a father exhorts and implores each one of us, we have to walk worthy of his love which he showed us. And in Zechariah 7.9, it says, show kindness to one another. Just like God has shown kindness to us, it's our turn to show kindness to one another. And in Hebrews 12 verses 5 and 6, God has been like a father to us. He disciplines us and he chastises us in order that we might be walk as his true sons and daughters. And Colossians 3.12 is another beautiful verse. As chosen ones of God, we turn to that verse. Colossians 3.12, I want to read that verse to you, read together. Colossians 3.12. Previously, it says, put on the new self, which is being renewed into the image of the one who created and verse 12. So as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving each other. Whoever has a complaint against anyone, just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. That's the part which we have to do after we receive so much kindness from the Lord. That's the thing which we have to do. And we can meditate on each when you get time, meditate on each one of these virtues and how we can do that now. And, you know, we have very special challenges now. We are living together. Children are at home. Husbands are working at home. There are so many restraints now. We cannot go out anywhere. We just be outside in our compound or in our yard. But so many restrictions are there. And those are the challenges which we have to face. But then we can bear this in mind that we practice and make these things happen in our life. These things which we have heard just now, the heart of compassion and love. And we can apply that in our daily life. Each one of us as young people. You know, I saw some children sitting here. Each child can learn something. Unmarried young sisters, wives, mothers and those of us who have mothers-in-law, who have daughters-in-law. We all have need of that. We have need to put that into our life. And I just want to meditate and share a little bit for each one of us who are in that level. First of all, I want to talk a little bit to young girls. Who are in our midst here, who have to do with their schooling. You know, young girls, I want to talk a little bit to you. This is the time when you can put that kindness into your life. If you have received the Lord Jesus as your savior, if you have not, you can do that. Ask the Lord, Lord, I'm not too young to ask you to come into my life. Please come into my heart. I want to accept you as my Lord and Savior. And just as you've been kind to me, I want to be kind to others. I want to be kind to my siblings, my brothers and sisters. I want to be kind to my dad and mom who have shown so much love for me and cared for me and fed me and taken care of me from my babyhood. I want to be kind to them and appreciate them, speak kindly to them. I want to help my brothers and sisters, especially those who are younger than me. I don't want to boss them. I want to be kind and good to them and speak kindly to them. I don't want to spend so much time on my gadgets, on the video, video games or other things which I have. I want to come out of my shell and I want to think about what good I can do to others. And if I have older brothers or sisters, I don't want to irritate them or annoy them. I want to be good to them. So young children, we can take that practice of showing kindness from our heart, show kindness to others. And I want to do my studies to the best of my ability, try to understand, ask God's help to help me to study so that I don't have to be a burden to my dad and mom. And I want to be a friend to my younger siblings. I want to be a friend to them and help my dad and mom in that way. Like, suppose we go out on a walk and the little ones need help, I can hold their hand and walk with them. Those are the some things which children can do. Then I want to think of the young sisters who are not married. And now is the time when you can pray and say, Lord, show me your will for my future. What is your plan? I don't want to be frustrated thinking, oh, everything has come to an end. Because of this disease which is spreading and I can't go out and I can't do this, I can't do that. Say, Lord, I want to do the best I can in my circumstances and be godly and be thankful to you and put that virtue of kindness in my life. Some of you may be living in a hostel in India or here you may be sharing a room with somebody. If you're working, you may be having a roommate and perhaps that roommate may not be a converted person. And she may be worldly and you are put to test and you think like, how can I live with that person? And that's the time when we can show kindness and say, Lord, live that kindness out through me. Help me not to be irritated when she puts the music loud or when she does her own thing or she's selfish or she keeps the kitchen in a disorderly way and I have to put up with it. I do my part to clean up what I can and share the time and the space with my roommate. You know, sometimes some of them may like to talk about worldly things, about movies and about their boyfriends maybe. And so maybe this is the time when you can say, look, I don't want to, the time is so short, I don't want to. I follow the Lord Jesus, I don't want to talk about all these things. And maybe they talk about these gender things which are happening in the world or the politics which are happening. And a lot of time gets wasted when you say, Lord, tell them, Lord, ask the Lord, Lord, help me not to be indulging in things which are not in my area. I want to take my spiritual life seriously and think about you in the time which is short. So without offending our roommate and without annoying them, say, excuse me, I have something else to do. Or go to a place where you won't be bothered by them and spend some time with the Lord. And this is the time when you can study God's word, read the word of God and pray. And I recommend the book which my husband has written through the Bible, use that as a Bible study and read books, books of the Bible. Like as I was sharing a little earlier, if you're not able to sleep at night, start praying and ask the Lord, Lord, let me spend even this time usefully. Show me someone whom I can pray for, someone who's sick, maybe someone who's family. I know so many people in India who are struggling and start praying for them. People are struggling with sicknesses, sickness in their family. Or you think of your loved ones far away, start praying for them. Spend the time usefully in studying God's word and prayer. So much about unmarried. Now we come to those of us who are married and we have a lot to pray about and to think about, wives especially. Our husbands are living at home now, working from home. That's a big challenge. And as I said earlier in one of my earlier messages, before we could just send them off to work and then we are free at home and our children are at school. We can spend a little time, make something, our favorite drink and sit back and relax or maybe even take a little nap. But it's different now. Now we have to share our time and our space with the other members of the family. And don't think of it like a difficult thing. And say, Lord, even this is for a time, sometime this may get changed and things will be different. I want to take this opportunity to build up my spiritual life. Make a Bible study about the verses which concern us wives and say, Lord, help me to be a better wife even in these circumstances. Now, some of us, our husbands are facing job difficulties. Maybe they have to work harder to show that because they are working from home, they have to show that they are doing something and they have to work harder, longer hours of work. And maybe there are pay cuts, so the income may not be as good as we could, as they were earning before. And this is a time for us to be considerate to their work pressures and try to do as much as we can for our home without troubling them. And try to make ends meet with less and not to waste things if we really don't need something or we can do with less items. But make healthy and good meals for our children and for our families as well. And there also the loving kindness factor is good to have that way of speaking in a loving and kind way to everybody. Then our children also will learn to speak in a kind way to us and to each other. So that's something which we can keep in mind, that kindness factor in our lives. We can never overdo it. And then coming to mothers. And yeah, then there's a verse which comes to our mind. All of us know that lovely verse, which is for wives, Proverbs 31, 26. It says the law of kindness is in her lips. The law or the teaching of kindness or kindness is the rule by which she does anything. So kindness is the secret ingredient for us wives. If you ask for a recipe for a happy marriage or like we do our cooking and we do the secret ingredient which makes this curry or this food so tasty. The secret ingredient for us is kindness. And that's something we can never overdo. It's like we can never put too much of kindness in our life. You may add too much of salt or some sauce or spice, but kindness is something which will never be too much. And that is what God has so sweetly written in his word for wives. The law of kindness is in her tongue. Our tongue is an area in which we are so much tempted to speak rudely or harshly, especially when we are under pressure. Then we can say kindness is the rule, is the law by which I'm going to run my life. And some of us, especially in India, we have helpers at home. And I used to find so much need in my life to have that kindness in the way I treat the helpers at home. Nowadays, I think in other countries it's not so much, but in India we need helpers at home. And sometimes they come a little late or they're sloppy or they are not hygienic or they have some bad habits or something. And we get impatient with them. And that's the time when we should remember, I need that kindness in my life. Just like that parable which Jesus said about the two debtors and the one who owed a lot, the master forgave him. But he could not forgive his friend or his fellow slave who owed him very little. He could not forgive him. And that's how we are sometimes when the Lord has forgiven us so much. We find it hard to forgive someone who has done some small thing against us. And we keep that grudge in our heart and we find it difficult to forgive. And then there's the time for us to remember our Lord who has forgiven us so much. And I must let go and not keep it in my mind. Whoever it is, let go and forgive. And nowadays, there are so many challenges for us as mothers. And I was just thinking of a few of them, especially these days when children need our help and our guidance. We concentrate on their food and we help them with their studies and we make them take care of them. So they get enough sleep and all that. Those are all good. But nowadays, there are some challenges which the children are facing. Without realizing, we talk about politics and gender and the current things and the children are listening to that. And they need help. We have to guide them. Suppose a time comes and the Lord calls us to heaven and our children have to face these things. We have to prepare them how to face these issues which are happening in the world and which the world is talking about. You know what I mean? We have to talk to our little girls as they are growing up. In each level, we have to talk to them. And three or four year olds, we don't have to talk the big things. But when they become adolescent and they are aware of sex and there are changes in their body. This is the time when we have to talk to them about changes which are happening. Hormones. We don't have to give a big lecture, medical lecture, but we have to tell them in a gentle way. Yes, things are happening in our bodies. You're like mummy. You'll become a mummy one day. And then things are happening. God is changing us. So we'll become more and more. We'll be able to be a mom and be a good mom. And like that, you can introduce the topic, whichever you know your children. So whichever way, if you have daughters, it's a real privilege to have a kind mom. And the children can look back and say, you know, the way I described my mom. She's the kindest person on earth. They should be able to talk about us with kindness. And at the same time, we have to educate them. Look, these are the things we have to be careful about. Don't be worried or don't get panicked. But you have to be careful. There are people out there when you're opening your computer and some other site comes up. Don't click on all the sites that come up. There are people who may not be girls, but they pretend to be girls and they want to know more about you. And when you have friends with your friends on Facebook. You know, there are children now who have and they are on friends. Then they can't be alone living their own lives. They have to have friends and we cannot keep them and say, no, no Facebook. No, there'll be a time when they have to have friends. They have to Zoom call with their friends. They have to talk to their friends. And some of their friends may be older and they tell them things which are not good for them to hear. At this age. So we have to warn them. If you have a friend who's very old, much older than you, be careful. Don't talk about things which are too beyond your age. Talk about things which are just your age. If you have any doubt, talk to mommy and I'll tell you. Yeah, that's too big for you. Just like, you know, Corrie Ten Boom. She was asking her dad about something related to sex. And her dad said, just lift this heavy suitcase. Said, no, the Corrie said, I can't lift it. It's like that. There are some things which are too heavy for you. Don't try to lift it so we can tell our daughters. Don't this is not for you at this stage, but there'll be a time when I'll talk to you about it. And in a healthy way, we have to talk to them. And, you know, nowadays people are talking about gender. When they go to school, they might hear children talking about or the teachers may tell them that their gender chain changes and we can't just say, no, no, we don't want to talk about it. We have to talk to them in a healthy way. At the same time, we don't want them to tell their friends, oh, that is all bad stuff and this is bad and that is bad. They should not do things which will harm them later. Then their friends may gang up and beat them up or something. They say one word which is too strong. So we have to tell them speak, speak carefully, be gentle and don't tell everything that's on your mind to everybody. Don't write everything which comes to your mind on Facebook. You don't have to reveal everything about you in your Facebook. Some things are private, keep it to yourself. Don't tell everything, but be wise and say, and if people are talking to you, come on, tell me, tell me. What do you think about this? What do you think? You can say, look, I don't want to talk about it. I'd rather not talk about it and just evade. And maybe then tell the children, tell our children, talk to mummy about it. Maybe we can pray about it and then change the topic if that topic comes up. So those are the things as mums we have to tell our children and educate them and prepare them for the future. And you know, this time when they are homeschooled, that is the best time. Thank God they are at home with us. And then the biology section comes up and the sex thing comes up and we can say, yeah, mummy will talk to you about it. We'll make a study about it. And as much as they are able to bear without shocking them in a nice way, you can talk to them about the plants, how the seeds happen. You know, there are so many good books, Christian books. If you look in the Internet and you go through those books yourself and then go through it with your children, you can tell the daughters about it. And even in church, suppose we are meeting brothers and sisters in the church, when the small children are there, we can tell the children. See, even if we call them brother or uncle, don't sit on everybody's lap. Just your own uncle or your dad or your grandpa. Those people's lap you can sit on and the others you have to keep a distance. And like that we can educate them. They're not bad, but you are a girl. You have to be careful and you have to grow up and one day you'll be a mummy. So now you can sit on mummy's lap, daddy's lap. Like that you tell them according to their level. And teenagers, you know how teenagers are, they don't like mums telling them, no, don't do this, don't do that, because they have a way of talking. We were teenagers at one time and remember the time when we used to talk to our mums in a snappy way and not so polite. That's because the teenager hasn't become an adult and is no more a child. That in-between stage is a very difficult stage. And when our children are reaching that adolescent stage, boys or girls, especially girls, you have to give a wide margin to them. Tell them, look, I want you to do this, this, this and don't micromanage them. Just say, OK, in half an hour's time we'll see how much you've done. And sometimes they haven't done it, then you say, OK, let's do it together. Next time, this time I'll help you. Next time you have to do it by yourself. And show them easy ways of doing it, you know, shortcut ways of doing it. Like you don't have to spend so much time to wipe the table and wipe that. Some are so keen, you have to wash it and wipe it. So like you make it once, dry wipe and then you wet it and then you wipe. So teach them some easy ways of doing things. And that way we can build fellowship with our daughters and teach them how to do things and bond with our daughters. These are some of the things which we can do now in these days of COVID. We think of COVID as a negative thing, but there are some good things which can happen. Our children are with us. There's no time zone. If they get up half an hour late, doesn't matter. I mean, if they are not online in school, but they can come in between and have their breakfast and, you know, do things like that, make it easier for them. Sometimes we are so rigid. We have the school pattern and we think like they must do it like that, like that. But we can change a little bit and make it easier for them to obey and to handle things. And make the communication between us and our daughters always open. Sometimes they do bad things and we have to correct them. Because I forgot to say the kindness of God. There is also severity, kindness and severity of God. God not only is kind, but he's strict with us. And we have to be strict and firm with our children. But that strictness is over. Then we come back and we say, look, you know why you are disciplined? Because you did that. You know why I asked you to go to your room with your drink? Now that you're better and you feel better, we can talk about it. I don't want you to fight. I don't want you to talk badly to dad and mom or to fight with your sister or whatever discipline they had explained to them. And so that way they can make it easier. So and also sometimes they have friends at home in school. They used to have and they are talking to them, make sure that they are good friends. And sometimes nowadays some children ask, can we go for a sleepover? We were never allowed sleepovers, but some children, they want to have a sleepover. And then we tell them, see, you may go to your friend's house. Your friend may be a good friend, but there might be somebody who's not so good in that person, in that home. And or maybe some visitor might come and then you'll be put in a delicate situation and you can't run away and come home. So don't have sleepovers till you're ready. Maybe you can have sleepovers with your cousin, sister or your relative and you will know that there's nobody else over there. Even cousins, I think you have to be wise and use discretion. So all kind of things which are happening, political things when we talk about in our home, be careful that we don't share those strong political views with our children so that they are not able to handle it. So we can say, yeah, elections are coming. Things are going to be different. But you know whose party mom and dad are on? We are on God's party. We are just going to pray and let God decide who's the one whom He chooses that will be the next ruler or the one to govern our country. So make it easier for the children so they don't have to handle all these big things. And we say, Lord, we pray and pray with them about everything that's happening, everything that's happening in the world with elections and the bad things and pray for healing, pray for people in the church who are suffering or who have lost their job. But we have to warn our children about so many things about predators and all these things which I tried to mention in a general way. But you know the level of your children and talk to them as much and how they can handle it. Then another area where we can show kindness is with our aged parents and those who are far away from home. Many of us who are here and our parents or loved ones are far away from here. Some of them may not be converted or may be worldly, but the least we can do is pray for them. Say, Lord, it's not too late. I can pray for them that they'll come to know you as their savior and they can change their ways. And if it's okay with them, write to them or make some phone calls as and when the opportunity comes with our loved ones at home. Our children are far away, call them. And a big, big thing for us in Indian homes is dealing with in-laws. You know, I don't know how it is over here, but especially now a lot of families have to live together, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. They have to live together because of the financial situations or maybe the parents are getting old and they cannot live by themselves. They are too weak or they may be getting forgetful and may leave the stove on and burn things or things. So a time comes when they need help. And they may not afford to be in a special care home or whatever you have over here. They'll have to move in and live with the children. And many homes in India are like that. That's when the tension happens and we can't afford it. We can't avoid it. Because moms, people like who are my age, we have lived so many years and we have our way of doing things. And we think that the new person must change to our ways. That's wrong. Because the girls who are growing up now, they didn't grow up like how we grew up. See, we grew up getting up early in the morning. Before sunrise, we were made to get up and take care of ourselves, help in the home. But nowadays, children are not brought up like that. And our daughters-in-law who have come have not grown up getting up before sunrise. So give them allowance and let them get up a little later. When they are tired, especially they may be tired, let them get up when they want. But they need not wait on us. We can do a little bit of cooking ourselves. We need some medication or something. Take a slice of bread and put something on it. Make your own tea and have it. And if you find something is not undone, don't think that that's not my job. That's my daughter-in-law's job. Let her come and wash. No, she's tired. I can wash it and keep it and make it a little easier. But sometimes they may think, oh, I should do it at night because my mother-in-law has to do it. If she's that type of person, then you ask her, is it OK if I wash the dishes and keep it ready so it will be easier for you? So always that law of kindness can come as a channel between us and our daughters-in-law. And if you are a mother-in-law and you have joined your if you are a daughter-in-law and you have joined your mother-in-law's house and you are very timid and you know that things are going in a different way and you're not used to that, ask the Lord and say, Lord, give me grace to accept it. And I know I'm not here to change the routine of this house. But in whichever way I can change, I'll change. But at the same time, help me not to be pushed under this circumstance. Help me to depend on you and get grace from you. And I pray for my mother-in-law that she have the strength and energy and help us to understand each other. We can pray for each other. So this joint family thing is a big issue in homes. And there also the law of kindness has to work. It's not a one day thing. We should not think that in one day things are going to change. It takes years sometimes for us to change. We change and our daughters-in-law, our children have to change. But think of this secret channel of loving kindness and tender mercies. How we can be kind with each other. Maybe your mother-in-law may not be a selfish person. And she's grown up living her own life and not thinking of others. So you have to be patient with her and avoid conflict as much as possible. Don't try to confront her or change her. She may not change. But also you may think that what she does is wrong. But you may not be the one to change her. So let her be. Pray for her. And pray that one day things will be smooth. But sometimes it may be in some homes that will have to go on and on. But sometimes God may help you to come out of that situation and give you a little house of your own. But whatever is God's will, let it be submitted to God's will. I always think of the story of Ruth and Naomi. How they got along together. Naomi was from an Israelite family. And Ruth was from a heathen family. But how they got along and finally Ruth came to know the Lord and trust the true God of Israel as her savior. And that must have taken a lot of wisdom from Naomi's part to bring her daughter-in-law. A lot of change in Naomi and Ruth that she could sacrifice and she could think of her aged mother-in-law. So that's an ideal example of a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. And if your mother-in-law is far away in India, that's a good thing. But that doesn't mean that you should have nothing to do with her. Her life, one of these days God may take her home and you lost your chance of being good to her. So if your mother-in-law, father-in-law or mother is living far away, take that opportunity to show love to her. It's easier for you to show love to her and speak to her, speak kind words to her, pray. If it's possible, pray with her over the phone and ask her how are you doing? Are you okay? Do you need any money? Can I send you something? Can I send you a gift which will help you? Or can I send you a parcel of some food item which you can't get there or some medicine? Show some interest. Even if you have not done it before, show some interest in her, then her heart also will be melted towards you. So all along that is the thread which I've been trying to go through in this talk. Kindness, show kindness to one another. Have the law of kindness in your life and let that be the rule that controls us. Let that be the secret ingredient in our life to make our life happy, make it happy for ourselves, for our children and for our husbands, for all who come across our path. God bless you.