Do I Really Want Jesus？

It says in Hebrews chapter 2, therefore we must give them more earnest heed to the things that we've heard Unless they should drift away Something drifts you often don't see it happening You know if you've ever been fishing before with a bobber You cast your line out in the water and your bobbers They're floating on top of the water and you may go to use the restroom or get something to eat By the time you get back. It's not where it was It was just floating in the water, but it drifted And that's what it's like spiritually. Sometimes, you know, we get entangled with the affairs of this life. We get busy doing stuff and We drift and Jesus like the Church of Ephesus But anyways on this on the second trip to Lowe's giving some plumbing parts I Was just telling Jesus Lord Lord I I want to serve you I want to please you. I want to love you and I was just telling him that expressing how I felt and the desires of my heart With this burden that I I was experiencing because I don't want to drift. I don't want to fall from my first love and so forth And as I was repeating these words to him, I heard him say I Want you I want you and I felt ashamed I felt ashamed of myself because I Was telling him I want to serve you. I want to please you I Want to love you and my idea of love was serving him. It's what can I do for him? What can I do for Jesus? I Do more for you. I'm gonna do more for you Lord more and But do I really want him Is it really all about him am I content doing nothing with Jesus Am I content just being with him? Just experiencing. I'm just hearing his words. I know we got to be about our father's business and everything but I don't want to get to this place where I'm doing stuff without him or I'm distant and When he said I want you just I felt like he was telling me that I want to serve him. I Want to please him and I want to love him, but do I really want him? I felt like he was asking me that by saying that You want me? I want you But do you want me or do you just want to serve me? I Want you? But do you want me or do you just want to please me you see because serving Jesus and pleasing him You know, we like doing what the things that we get to do for the Lord And make us feel good and make us feel really good. It's being able to serve Jesus There's a great peace and satisfaction in knowing that you're totally surrendered to Jesus. You're only living to do his will And you know that you're not living for anything else or anyone else There's a great satisfaction of peace in that But Do I really want him? I think of Luke chapter 10, you know, you have Martha and you have Mary You know Mary was sitting at the feet of Jesus Hearing his words and Martha was serving. I think she was serving because Jesus was there She was in his presence, but not experiencing his presence She could hear his words, but she wasn't listening to his words. She was very distracted By her service for Jesus so distracted that she missed the good portion that Mary chose In fact, she was finding fault with Mary We're not joining her With her distractions You know, that's what it can be. Sometimes, you know, we look at other people and be like, what are you doing? I need to be about our father's business get with the program get off your knees get out of your closet Get out of your bed Get busy time is short We need to redeem the time because the days are evil and that's true. We do need to redeem the time the days are evil but I know that I Can redeem far more time? Sitting at the feet of Jesus for an hour and then going to labor with him and just For several hours every day just working serving doing all these different things to please him I know that there's You know, I could just stay really busy But am I missing him? Am I missing those precious moments with Jesus? You know cuz Jesus, you know This is a it's an amazing thing to think about but you know when Jesus was on the cross When he was on the cross He said I thirst I thirst What was he thirsty for? You know, he was crucified Men were gambling for his clothes Getting drunk casting lots upon his clothes. His mother was at his feet weeping His disciples abandoned them all but John and the women women were there he You know was crowned with thorns spit and blood was Saturated his beard what was left of it, you know, they ripped it out They plucked it out from the cheeks as it says in Isaiah Chapter 50 but Why was he thirsty What was he thirsting for? They offered him something to drink, but he refused. I Think he was thirsting For love he was thirsting To be our thirst That's what he was thirsty for He was thirsting That he May be our thirst The one thing that we can that our souls can just drink in and be satisfied The one thing that we could drink in and be content be nourished He restored be healed and be satisfied him. He was thirsting to be our thirst. He went to the cross Because he was thirsty He went to the cross because he was thirsty. He was thirsty for you Jason he was thirsty for you Michael He was thirsty for you Helga he was thirsty for you Lester James he was thirsting for all of us That's why he went to the cross he was thirsty and I don't want You know, I don't want Jesus to be thirsty I Want his thirst to be quenched. I want to give him not just my service. I don't want to just give him my service or The busyness of all these different things. I'm trying to perform for him and do for him Give him my heart Want to give him my affection. I want to give him my attention Martha was giving Jesus And those that were with him her service But her heart wasn't there where Mary's was So anyways, it was really And the Lord said I want you it just Made me feel very ashamed, you know, but it even though I felt ashamed it was comforting Because that's the way Jesus makes people feel when he rebukes them When he rebukes people or there's a comforting shame That he gives It's not just a shame. It's a comfort. There's comfort in it because you know, who is ridiculous You know why it's because he loves you. He says as many as I love I Rebuke and I chase him, but I how long just to be able to focus on Spiritual things and Physical things, you know just spiritual labors and physical labors Building homes. I'm gonna you know, cuz we started an LLC called Aldorama homes the other brothers thought it should be my last name because they thought it might They just thought it sounds good for some reason. So anyways, we started an LLC of Aldorama homes, but And we have a lot of work right now and there's a lot of good that we can do with that money There's a lot of good We want to adopt children We want to but we have to build a house to adopt children and the other brothers here will need a home we have the property we own the property, but We want to drill water wells next year we want to establish, you know, I'm the president of the blessing of water and we established one water work and Bolivia South America, we have a drilling rig and A 90 horsepower Massey Ferguson tractor. We have contacts there that know how to drill wells They have all the mud pumps and all the equipment and they're drilling wells right now You know, but we can replicate that. There's a lot of good that we can do with money that we earn And that's what we should be doing with our money But Are we missing Jesus am I missing you I'm missing Jesus friends. I don't want to I Don't want to get so consumed with all these different tasks Because I'm telling you just if I ain't busy myself Like Martha and just focus on serving Jesus and I'm distracted and I'm not getting from Jesus what I need And I'm not being transformed by his presence and all these different things and his fellowship I'm gonna be in the flesh just like just like she was She was in the flesh She was finding fault with her sister. She was frustrated probably puffed up because she was working and Mary was sitting