When the Devil Went Down to Memphis

Memphis had been my home for 40 years. It was where I went to school, where I built my career, where I bought my first house, where I met my wife and began my family. I had been married for 24 years to a beautiful woman who looked like a combination of Jackie Kennedy and Catherine Zeta Jones.

She was so stunningly gorgeous that every time she entered a room she would turn the heads of every man in there. Our life centered around our church as we both served there in several capacities. We lived in a fine home, belonged to the local country club, we had plenty of money in, we had plenty of friends, we had what you would call the ideal life.

Then it all came crashing down. Each day I would walk for an hour early every morning at our neighborhood park. One particular morning I took my teenage daughter with me and when we were finished walking around the lake we went back home.

My daughter went straight to her room and I went upstairs to mine. As I turned the corner I saw a body on the floor. It was my wife.

There was a gun beside her. She had taken her life. That day our world as we knew it abruptly ended.

She was the last person in the world who you think would commit suicide but that was our reality and we've had to live with it ever since. I can only recall a couple examples of suicide found in my bible. King Saul threw himself on his sword and Judas hanged himself.

I know that Saul went to the devil when he went to the witch at Andor. I know that God's word says of Judas that after Judas received the piece of bread, Satan entered into him. Most experts say that suicide is strictly related to depression.

That it's an emotional issue or a chemical issue. I know depression can be associated with it but I believe it's mainly a spiritual issue. The devil is a devourer, a destroyer.

First Peter 5 8 declares, be sober, be vigilant because your adversary the devil has a roaring lion walketh about seeking whom he may devour. I don't have all the answers in regard to the death of my wife and this is the first time friends I've been able to talk publicly about it since that terrible event but the bottom line is when the devil went down to Memphis that day he found a vulnerable person whom he could destroy. Since that time God has given me and my daughter grace to move on with our lives even though our lives will never be the same.

Through the grief and pain I've learned that in the midst of tragedy when God doesn't make sense you can still sense him and no matter how terrible that personal tragedy is God can get you through. He will make a way in the wilderness and he will bring rivers in the desert for he is a God who can be leaned on and you can stand on his promises because his word is true and he is true to his word.