Husbands Love Your Wives

Thank you Brother Chris for the beautiful scriptures that in a small way give us a picture today of what our God's grace wanted to share about the husband's responsibility as he dies for his family, like we heard already, brings freedom, brings deliverance, Christ's death brought the freedom that we were talking about this morning and in a like manner our responsibility. Let's come to the Lord in prayer. Father in heaven, I thank you this morning for being faithful, for ministering to my heart this morning through the word and through the exhortation.

The songs, truly we have a living Savior, one that can still deliver. Thank you for the delivering from bondage for little Melody. I just pray it continues in that we agree together in the name of Jesus that you'll just keep setting her free and expand the freedom on the road of life for her.

Each one of us, Lord, as we look into your word today, help us with open face to look into your face and be changed from glory to glory, even by the image of the Lord Jesus Christ. Lord, I just yield my body to you, my members, so you could bring honor and glory to your name is my desire. I want to lift up your word and your heart in Jesus' name.

Amen. I didn't realize, Brother Dennis, you were sharing today until now, just a little bit ago. But Brother Dennis shared the next section of Scripture that we are looking at here in Ephesians 5. I'll just go through that and read it again for the basis of the words this morning.

Turn to Ephesians 5, verse 25 again. We talked about the lady's role, the wife's role last Sunday. We just see the pattern in Scripture.

The Lord always addresses those under authority first before those in authority. But now today, the women, maybe they can relax a bit. This fall before our deer season, our sons often have the barn doors open and some round bales in there.

They're practicing target with their crossbows. Sometimes when boys are over, they're out there. Their goal is not to try to scare the deer or to just to graze it or even a gut shot.

But where do you think they want to hit? The vitals, the heart. And so today, I believe Brother Dennis did that a bit already. I think the Lord's maybe zeroing in on our heart then.

And I trust we can just open up our hearts together before the Lord. And if he wants to speak to us, speaking to myself, just this past week, I think James was at our house one, I don't know, it was a week ago, just past, this past week, I believe it was. And we're talking about the ivory-billed woodpecker.

I remember when I was a little boy, my parents had a nice little bird book from the Audubon Society. Pretty old, but I remember as a little boy growing up, I always saw this ivory-billed woodpecker, which is extinct. It was said they're extinct, considered extinct.

But it's one of the world's largest woodpeckers that had been known, like a two-and-a-half foot wing spread. And I was always kind of intrigued by this huge woodpecker. And we have the pileated around here.

They're a pretty good sight, like a crow. But then it was like in 2004 or 5, I remember hearing that this thing has been discovered again. It's been rediscovered.

Thought it was extinct for 50-some years in one of the swamps in Arkansas. There had been a sighting. I think that was on the website, wasn't it? So I think sometimes what we want to lift up by God's grace is almost considered extinct in our land.

Men that rise up to the challenge in our special species. May we just encourage our hearts together to see those people this morning. Open our hearts and be all we can be before the Lord Jesus Christ in this respect.

Husbands and fathers, I should say. Verse 25 of Ephesians, we'll just read this again. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy without blemish.

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.

For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. Verse 33. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Now last, I think it was last Sunday, I had this little illustration about a wise woman will build her house, the foolish one will pluck it down. But I tell you this morning, I think this is more serious this morning. And you can give her a lot of building material, but being the man you need to be, be the husband you need to be, you'll provide a lot of the right kind of building material.

I think just for the sake of continuity, we'll just do this again in what we call the authority structure. We have God and Christ, man, woman, children. So we were here last time, but really today, like the saying is, the buck stops here, right here.

I think that's where the challenge is at today. The man's position, the husband's position here. So today, I'd just like to write this on the board here.

Be a man. Two scriptures I'd like to turn to you at. I know it's late, kind of later already.

Maybe this will be more abbreviated. You might have to listen fast, see how this goes. But 1 Samuel 13, 1 Samuel chapter 13, it was after Saul had turned his back on the Lord, didn't follow the Lord's direction, God told Samuel, take that horn of oil, go down to what was Bethlehem, Judah, and anoint another king.

And here Samuel is talking to Saul in 1 Samuel 13, verse 13, and says, Samuel said to Saul, Thou hast done foolishly. Thou hast not kept the commandment of the Lord thy God, which he commanded thee. For now would the Lord have established thy kingdom upon Israel forever, but now thy kingdom shall not continue.

The Lord hath sought him a man after his own heart. And this was actually a young man. The Lord had picked him out already.

After his own heart. And the Lord hath commanded him. Already this commandment of the Lord had been sent to David's heart.

I don't know, did David know that something hit him or not at this point? To be captain over his people. He has commanded him to be captain over his people, because thou hast not kept that which the Lord commanded thee. Now the word commanded and so forth comes forth a couple times here.

So it's very important that we, as the men of God, are doing the will of God. Chapter 16, when they were doing the anointing there, they called, verse 7, it says that Eliab, one of the older ones, had been before Samuel there, and the Lord said to Samuel, Samuel, think this is the one. Look at his.

Wow, he's got the physique. He's got everything that it takes to be a good leader. It says, look not on his countenance, nor on the height of his stature, because I have refused him.

For the Lord seeth not as man seeth. For man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart. Remember, we're trying to zero in on the heart today.

The Lord wants to do that. And then the Lord adds another testimony in the book of Acts. After Paul and Barnabas were sent out on the first missionary journey, the church of Antioch had sent them out, and one of the first sermons that Paul preached after that, chapter 13 of Acts, verse 22, they were preaching in Antioch, not the Antioch that was the descending church, but this is about maybe 700, 800 miles west of there into Turkey, what's now Turkey, the Antioch of Pisidia.

Here Paul is preaching, and here he's saying, he's going through the history of his preaching to Jews and Gentiles. This is the testimony that God still had about David. Hundreds of years later, I think there was like 28 generations from the time of David to the time of Christ.

Matthew says there was 14 from the time of David to the Babylonian captivity, and from that captivity to the time of Christ was another 14. So it was many hundreds of years. Here it says in verse 22, chapter 13, when he had removed him, he raised up unto them David to be their king, to whom also he gave testimony and said, I have found David, the son of Jesse, a man after mine own heart, which shall fulfill all my will.

So that's what we want to open our hearts to, that we could be a man, a man after God's heart. I'll just do that. To be a man after God's heart.

And like we read already, it's one that will do all his will, will do all the will of the Lord, that will do all his commandments. And this is not, I think, to lay, I know, to lay the premise for this number one requirement for a man like that to lead out in his home, to lead his wife and his children, is not one that does a lot of body building, is not one that has flexed his muscles, that I'm boss and all that. I think we all know that.

I think we need to just keep impressing that in our minds, in our hearts. I think maybe I did this before, but just a good reminder. In Philippians chapter 2, Paul says, Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God.

Here, he had the equality, or I'll just call it, he has every right to be up here with God. But it says that he laid down his reputation. He thought it not robbery to be equal with God, but made himself of no reputation, took a step downward.

No reputation. His reputation, he laid that down. It says he was made in the form of a servant, or took upon him the form of a servant.

Another step down. He became a servant. And was made in the likeness of men.

He came down, he identified with us, with humanity. He put down humanity. And being found in the fashion of a man, it says he humbled himself, humility, and became obedient.

He learned, even though, Hebrews says, even though he was a son, yet he learned obedience. I still haven't figured that out yet. I'm still learning.

He became obedient to his father. Not only just obedience, but it says, even, he became obedient to death, not only just to death, but to the death of the cross. And you know, so many times I think about the cross being up on Calvary, and it is.

But really, the cross is right here. The Lord Jesus took those steps so he could die for you and I. The death of the cross. The most cruel, despised type of death.

And that's really where husband and father, you and I have to come, really, if you want to be an effective leader. If you want an effective following, I'll take those steps down there. Have the mind of Christ.

So I just want to press that. First of all, to be a man after God's own heart, we'll need this mind. And we need to encourage us to stay there.

You know, we just got done singing Jesus keeping near the cross. I just trust that this will press into our hearts. So, a man after God's own heart.

What is that? After God's own heart. I just, I looked it up in the dictionary and there's so many different thoughts. Probably be interesting to open this up and see what your thought is.

But it just really means an imitation of, or as a copy from, a man after God's own heart. That same imitation. Imitation of God's heart.

I don't know, if every one of us as husbands would be like that, fathers, I think the cares and troubles of trials would be over in a lot of ways. In our families, in our churches, in our nation, our counties, in our homes. Another explanation was, another definition was, in accordance or sympathy with.

The Lord Jesus says, or God says, he sought him a man. He was looking for someone that is in sympathy with his goal, his kingdom, his vision, where he wants to go. In accordance or sympathy with.

Number one, it's an imitation of, or as a copy from. Or in accordance or sympathy with. And I found it interesting, in our dictionary it had this phrase in there, right after it says, a man after my own heart.

It used that very phrase, where do you think they got that? I've heard it also, depending on what you do, what you say. Even a man from the world would say, you're a man after my own heart. If something clicks, or there's a sympathy with, they'll use that phrase.

But it comes from God, according to God, don't even know it. A man after my own heart. But I'd just like to add one.

I'm not a thick person, expert, but I'd just like to have this little expression here. The word after, just use the word after in pursuit of. To become to that place of sympathy with, we need to be men that are in pursuit after God's own heart.

So these are some good exercises. Men, Ellison Miller. Some good exercises.

Just lay down your rights. I think that's what Brother Dennis finally came to the realization. He's camping on some rights.

He just needs to start this. He might have been part ways already, I don't know. I think we just all need to check our hearts.

Where are we at? And what we shared last Sunday, our wife's submission is, I believe, in direct correlation to where you're at on that stairway. It was pretty hard to ask her to be down there and you're up there. It's not right.

Men, we need to be down. We need to actually lead them down. We need to show them how to descend the steps and be an example to our children also.

It's some good exercises. Daily exercise. That's why Paul said, the same man that quoted, let that mind be in you, he also said, I die daily.

He finds himself down there daily. And it's something we have to do. Likewise, reckon yourselves to be dead, Brother Chris.

I appreciate those scriptures. It's something we have. We have to make that decision.

I'm going to stay near the cross. If not, we can go up the steps pretty quick again. So that's just the premise.

That's where we need to start, men. But here in Ephesians 5, there's just a few words we like to look at. Verse 26, it says, that He might sanctify and cleanse it.

And then verse 29, no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it. Those four words, cleansing and sanctifying, nourishing and a cherishing attitude. I just like to look at the word cherish first.

I just confess to you, whenever I read that, I never really did a good study on that. That kind of tells me maybe where I'm at on that. But the word cherish, I just kind of took for granted.

It's just kind of another form of love. You know, just another expression of love. What it is, it's actually a product of love.

But the word cherish actually has a totally different Greek meaning. I was surprised. The meaning is, I get the picture of a little hen that has a brood and her life is consumed with that little brood.

The word actually means to warm, to brood and to foster. So we have some Biblical, I guess, mandate here for fostering. But we're supposed to, as husbands and fathers, you've been called to foster your wife.

What does foster mean? It means to promote the growth and development of, to further and to encourage, to bring up, to care for. And this is actually what the word foster actually, when I looked that one up, it says to cherish, to feed and nourish. It's a very warm word.

And it's a word like this little hen is always plucking around, where's my brood at? There's always a communication level, never broken. Communication is never broken with a hen and her little brood. She's brooding after.

They know where the warm place is, where there's safety. She's fostering them. She's bringing them up.

And this is the husband you've been called to that. When you get married, young man, don't just think that, hey, this is something, it's going to be fun, you know, just kind of, all just me, no big deal. I tell you, you've been called into a high and holy calling.

Actually, a lowly calling. But it is a high calling. To care for, to nourish and to cherish.

It's the most precious thing, really, that you've been entrusted to. And it's not a light thing. Don't take it for granted.

I'll just say this. Some of us might struggle a little bit with what Brother Dennis shared about he's going to put it this way, that way. Well, that doesn't really sound spiritual.

We're supposed to be out there and confronting the society. And I agree with that. There's a place for that.

But if you do that at the total neglect of, if your wife doesn't feel that cherishing during all of that, something is wrong. We've been called to that. Christ is doing the same to the church.

He's nourishing it. He's brooding over it. There's a season for everything.

Maybe he's just, he's been called to a different season, Brother Dennis, right now. Right now, we don't, we didn't have our garden tiller out during these winter months. It's not the season for it.

The sled, then like, vice versa, we won't get the sled out in July either. This afternoon we might, tomorrow. But there's a season for everything.

And if you have your brood growing up, what will happen if the brood is over here and they're trying their, I'm lacking communication, and the hen's over, I'm going off in some selfless pursuit, or I'm flying up to this roost, there's danger, I'll just go up here. Well, what's going to happen with the chicks if there's a cat around? I'll tell you what happened if our cat's around. The chicks are going pretty quick.

So, I think we just need to understand Brother Dennis' heart there, where he's at. And each one of us are calling. We don't want to minimize the outreach that he was doing.

There's a time for all of that. As our children get older, we want to get them involved and show them how. There's a time for that.

But you don't take a little chick out and do the big stuff first day. There's a growing process. We need to be wise knowing how to nurture when's the time for this food and that food.

That's a big, that's the main reason of fostering. Knowing what is right for the little one. That's why we have a foster program.

Even our unconverted nation knows there's a right place, the right time in their lifetime, their growing years, where they need different inputs. They can't handle everything at the same level that we can as adults, these little children. But when I thought about this, it really warmed my heart to think that Christ Himself, He broods over us.

Does that sound familiar? Jesus says in Luke 13 and Matthew 23, after He was finally finished denouncing the Pharisees, He says He looked over the city, over Jerusalem, and He says He wept over it. He wept over it. If we would have the same heart as fathers, as husbands, I think things would be different sometimes.

He wept over His brood. He says, because they knew not. He says, if you only, my brood, if you only had known the time of your visitation, what safety I have for you, what good things, the nourishment I have for you, how much I cherish you, you would have not acted like you would.

I'm just paraphrasing this. He says, but now your house is left unto you desolate. You push them away, you're out on your own.

The cat's going to get you. He wept over it. And actually, He says, how often would I have gathered you as a hen when she sees the danger.

I gather you when night is coming. I would have gathered you, but you would not. Luke, he says, he actually calls him, it says the brood.

He uses that very word. to myself and all his fathers, husbands, you've been called to cherish your partner. I would just honestly have an honest question to every wife that is here.

I really wonder what the honest response would be before God before God, like that video. If we do this one on not knowing who's speaking, what would the honest response of our wives be? Honestly, do I, yes, I feel cherished. Why are there so many children in foster care? There's various reasons, but one big one is neglect.

Do you think there's neglect in the house of God sometimes? Do you think sometimes wives feel neglected? When we got married, we memorized these vows. Sometimes I think, sometimes we try to get so fancy with them and eloquent, and I'd say it's okay, but you know what? Young men, ladies, think about marriage, you'll get tested. One thing that I remember the most, and the reason I remember the most is one probably most important to my wife, and that is, I promise to listen with interest to whatever is on her heart.

So that tells me something about communication. I think most ladies are saying they don't always care if you have the answer, but if you listen, it really provides an answer to their heart in many ways. But if we're too busy out there doing the fountain of life and so forth, what Dennis was saying, during some critical, crucial times, I don't believe we're cherishing.

I think we're not fostering like we should. Let's not be guilty of neglect. What is neglect? Maybe we should ask our wives.

They might have some more admonition for us or exhortation. I just encourage us to, as husbands, take time and ask your wives some of these very important, honest questions. It might tear at your, you know, way down deep inside, and we might just shy away from it just because it's been too uncomfortable, so we just stay away from it.

But we've been called to cherish. How would we feel if that would be Christ's response to us as a church, the body of Christ? How would you feel, how would we feel if we would, some day, someone would have a revelation, the Lord reveals to someone through his spirit that there's another planet, there's a totally other world, and there's some beings there, and the Lord actually did a greater thing for them, and that we're just kind of secondary. I don't believe there's anything like that, but in a lot of ways, us men sometimes are guilty of being doing the same thing, not having the cherishing, that idea, she is my only one, there's only one, I gave everything for, I gave my life for this, this body, this church is what Jesus did.

I think we would feel somewhat betrayed. Let's not betray our wives and our children. Another word I like to look at is the word cleanse.

There in verse 26, we looked at cherry, it's not cleanse. John 15, Jesus told his bride there, he says, now you are clean through the word I have spoken unto you. Do you have time, do you have time as husband and wife, as family to spend together in the word of God? You may get priority.

I know when I work at my chicken barn, it's a pretty good idea to take a shower and to clean up, that smell has a permeating tendency to just kind of want to stick around. As we go through life, we pick up dirt, we pick up things of this world. It's so important that we are regularly, we are washing our wives, we're washing our family with the word of God in our own hearts, personally, but corporately also.

Does she have the testimony of being cleansed on a regular basis? Does she know what it is to be cleansed by the word in a loving way by the husband? If she is struggling with relationship issues, does she have the testimony, you as a husband, know how to walk her through those things, to wash her from those things, from bitterness that wants to creep in, misunderstandings. Do you have the right kind of soap? Do you know the words from the Lord Jesus, from the Bible? Do you have the words to help with the cleansing process? Do you pray together? I think we talked about this last time. Do you spend the time praying together? I'm just asking a lot of questions today.

Let you decide. Another word is sanctify. We all know what that means.

It just means to consecrate, to set apart, to make holy. Does she feel that she is sanctified in your eyes? Is she reverenced in your eyes? Is she honored in your eyes? Are you the set apart? Is she the set apart one in your life, the only one? Does she feel that you're the only one? You can go to town, you can go wherever you want and she doesn't have to feel. I wonder where his roving eyes are at today.

Does she really feel set apart, sanctified? Does she feel an unwavering, unswerving loyalty just for her, a level of loyalty that brings her rest? The other day, I had a talk with an Amish neighbor a bit and I just asked him, I said, I've been meditating on some of these things. What would you say is one of the most important things for a husband and wife, how to do your part? He said, be true to your wife. Man of few words, that's all he said, just be true to your wife because she sends an unswerving level of loyalty.

I think sometimes we might think these things, maybe what Brother Dennis shared is not so important. We need to be doing the big stuff. Like I shared last time, the Titanic, what was above the water level, that's where everything looks fine and dandy.

Even when she had taken a hit and a big gash in the side and started going down slowly, but even at first they just kind of disregarded it. Hey, there's been something felt that it's kind of downplayed it. But still, Solomon says it's the little foxes that steal the vines, that spoil the vines and who has to despise the day of little things? If this is a little thing, let's not despise it.

I don't believe they are little things. Sometimes we look at these as just kind of secondary, our marriages and the husband-wife relationship. But what I find as the influence of the world, of our society has influenced our homes and our marriages and so forth, we have more psychologists and more counseling centers than we ever had before.

I get that picture sometimes because we're not, us men are not down here where we need to be. We have all these gashes in the sides of our vessel. The water's coming in and all our energy is going to bailing water.

We should be a rescue ship. We should be making a difference, but we're bailing water. We're bailing water.

Another issue, relationship issue, we're bailing water. My cry is let's be men. Let's be men.

Let's have the lower hold what's maybe not so visible. What happens in our homes? What's not so much in public? Let's have the things fixed so we can be effective. If not, we'll just be bailing water and the bilge pumps are just running nonstop.

We have seminars on how to rebuild pumps and all that. I don't want to be sarcastic. I just have, I have a burden in my heart that we are, we're complete in Christ that we know our calling that we can be men after God's own heart.

Be a man after God's own heart. Another word we have here is nourish it. A man, a man, men really take care of themselves.

I mean, they're hungry. They'll take care of themselves. Men take care of their appetites usually quite willingly.

But in just in another, just on the flip side, we should be more concerned about a wife's nourishment. What about our appetites? Do we really know what she longs after? Do we ever spend time, what are you hungry for? Not in food back there but in a spiritual realm, emotionally. What are you longing for? What are the lacks that you need supply? What do you sense that you're lacking that you would like me as your husband, provider, the one that cherishes, cherishes you and the one that provides for you that is responsible for you? What do you want to be filled with? What are you longing, what are your tastes that it's longing for? Do we know that? A nourisher is someone that rears up to maturity is what Strong says in Greek.

Someone that's there to help spring you up. Do you know when you married your wife she wasn't quite all complete? I know you weren't either man. That's why God said He's going to make you a helpmeet by the same way as she is.

The body of Christ is not complete. The picture is that Christ is putting His energy, that's really all His energy is in preparing His bride, nourishing it. So it is not unspiritual for you also to be nourishing and building up.

She wasn't complete when you got married. She completed you in a big way but now you actually complete. God has you there to help complete her, to grow her, to rear her to maturity in Christ Jesus.

I find that you know as time goes on it seems that young people get mature a little bit later every decade with just the influence of our world. There's just more toys, more toys. I don't think we encourage our young people to rise up, be men, young men, be men, young ladies, be ladies.

There's a time to stop being a boy and a time to stop being a girl. I think in Jesus' day it was like 12, 13 they were considered adults and they were pulling their load, their share of the load in a lot of ways. But I fear sometimes that when young people go to the marriage altar they haven't been to some of these altars yet so they go to the marriage altar still not willing to yield their rights and that's why there are soon big fights.

My sister was telling me the other day someone I know well young couple got married and before they left the churchyard they had the first disagreement this young couple. I would never have thought about it. You know we see in our what plain circles but it happened and I know I know them well it's just an indication that we're not operating from down here like we should be.

Just before we start on the honeymoon a disagreement. But I believe if a man is down there he'll take care of a lot of those things if not all of them. But if we go many altars need to be visited first by young men and young women should be visited first the altar of servanthood laying down reputation humility before you go to the altar of marriage.

If we don't visit those altars and the altar of marriage is going to take care of it you're going to have a surprise. But don't despair the Lord can work on you even while you're married. He usually does.

So another area just I just want to bring this out real briefly of Christ and the church or the threefold purpose of marriage when we look at marriage is basically when man was alone God wanted to complete him. So marriage is supplies a lack in one another. And it's a picture of Christ and the church but it also is God's way to replenish the earth.

So I'm just going to say this be a man men be a man when you get married. If you enter marriage with the idea I don't want children we're just going to take things in our own hands I don't think it's God's heart. I'll just say this be a man after God's own heart.

The Lord had many children He wants many sons just be like Him. I'd like to look just briefly about your relationship fathers with your children in the next chapter maybe touch about on that in a later date but this it does say about children being obedient to your parents but then it says in verse 4 fathers provoke not your children to anger but bring them up in the nurture that's that nurturing again the admonition of the Lord. In Colossians 3 it has the same the parallel passage it says fathers provoke not your children to anger.

It says don't provoke them to anger. How can we provoke them to anger? I think there's many ways but if you find yourself down here I don't think that will happen. I can't believe it will happen.

But recently I heard of a thousand 20 year old young people were interviewed people that had been reared in the church young people boys and girls they were like in their college in colleges college age students people that had gone to church and they walked away walked away from Christianity. They specifically had chosen these looked these searched these out and did the interview and a major factor of their their reasoning why they walked away is because what they saw maybe in parents and leaders of saying one thing and doing something else and that can bring anger that can bring provocation or discouragement. It says don't anger your children lest they be discouraged frustration and at the same time there's many fathers that said they're up there somewhere and they have a high expectation for the wife and children but at the same time they're not like we shared last time they don't want to be in God's order but they have they know what they want in their home which is good that we know what God wants in our home but it needs to be Him and not just us.

So let's not be like these the testimony of these what these 20 year olds said that walked away from God want nothing to do with it. These people say one thing they do something else. May the Lord deliver us especially as fathers that our life is so consistent that we're down there close to the cross Jesus keep me near the cross.

So couple questions regards to our children are they being fed? It says we should bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Are you being a shepherd? Are they being fed? And now I know a shepherd a shepherd needs to lead them lead them where he knows where he's been before already. He knows where the nutritious food is at.

He knows where he needs to go even though those young ones might want to go where they like to but he can't and in a gentle way he knows the danger and he'll just lead them where it's safe where it's nourishing. He won't be a lord over them he'll just lead them to what is best for them. You know the same neighbor that I talked that I asked this question has a couple of beef cows just a couple of miles down the road and they noticed here a while ago one was just not doing well and it actually died and just recently two more these I think close to yearlings were kind of sick and sickly not doing well so they were down couldn't get back up so they finally they got the vet they had the vet out there and he checked them out and he said you know what's wrong? He said they're malnourished because what he's finding out last summer was a very wet summer all our hay there is there's deficient it's the nutrients are lacking and the animals right now this time of the year it took took most of the winter to start showing up and he says the common thing he's seen that those malnourished when they have feed they might be filling their bellies but they're not being nourished he says feel their feel their ribs their back they start to you know beef usually have all fuzzy a lot of hair in the winter time he says you feel the ribs the bones were just right there and then he said you got to get you got to get grain in front of them right now and they did and one made it but one still died they lost two of having plenty of stuff but didn't have the nourishment you know what our young people our children are getting plenty of stuff and if we're if it's not from a nourishing father's heart they're going to be feeding on something that's going to cause malnourishment lack of nutrition and it could take them out it's pretty hard to fight fight a battle if we if we were malnourished talking about battle are you equipping your children father are you equipping them for the battle do you know do you see the battle yourself are they being equipped fathers it's your responsibility it's my responsibility to equip my sons and my daughter for the battle and we don't equip them with toys toys are poor tools to use out on the battlefield toys won't cut it are they being equipped for the battle I thought that was that was quite quite something when he said these calves they actually died they were filling their bellies but they were dying feeding I think the old testament talked about what is it Ephraim feeds on the wind a lot of taking in but it's nothing nutritious fathers it's so important that we know we know what they're feeding on do we know do we know what they're reading in their bible do you know if they're reading the bible do you know if they're praying do you know what their struggles are do you know what their deficiencies are do we know do we want to know if we were up there we probably don't care but if we're down here we will know do we know what their growth rate is are they growing and are they being equipped with the right tools or all they know well don't have a good relationship with mom and dad so they'll just give me I know they'll just give me some more toys to kind of evade the real issue let's be men I'll just say this again be a man be a man after God's own heart Ephesians I mean 1 Peter I'll turn there again we used this last time for the wives we heard this this morning also this read off but I'll just look at verse 7 in chapter 3 1 Peter 3 verse 7 talking to the husbands now ye husband likewise ye husbands dwell with them that's your wives according to knowledge giving honor unto the weaker wife that's unto the weaker vessel did you know that your wife has been specifically designed by the almighty maker for you she's been designed to be brooded over she's been designed by the maker for you to foster she's been designed by the almighty maker for you to be fussed over you know what your wife if she's kind of the average wife she likes to be fussed over to have words of affirmation to have approval those things go a long way giving honor unto the wife that's unto the weaker vessel and thus being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered marriage isn't just a happenstance it's been very specifically designed by God and your wife as they say the marriage holder will you take so and so the sister by your side to be your lawful wedded wife what you're just committing to is so much more of God's plan that we probably don't see but she has been specifically designed as a weaker vessel not in a negative way an inferiority but she's been designed for you to exercise your calling to rear up to nourish to bring to maturity and so sad if marriage is entered into and that never happens I feel so sad I feel I could weep for so many marriages and women that she and her husband have been together for years and sometimes not so long doesn't take last very long but they really have never been connected in this way Paul said in Thessalonians to the believers I pray God that your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless it's God's will for husband and wife that you are connected spirit, soul, and body in a three-fold way starting with the spirit if we don't have that we're on a shaky premises it says as being heirs together of the grace of life the grace of life God's divine influence upon us we can be heirs together if we're doing this both fulfilling our calling it's just what Brother Dennis was sharing it's just a natural response once a husband finds himself down there where he needs to be in his calling the wife just wants to be there we call it submission but it's not even submission anymore it's just I want to be there at his side that's the bar we want to set today and I know maybe it sounds too difficult maybe it is really an extinct species but it's we have the word of God and it is possible it's something we need to men we need to set our sights on it's like God is sighting in his bow on us right on our heart if we've ever been hit by his arrows they are arrows just laced with love God's arrows are laced with love and they're for our benefit but now the devil the darts that the devil shoots are filled there's hatred behind those and there's there's really a real hatred behind the arrows of the enemy but God's arrows are filled with love here we have the word together that your prayers be not hindered if we're not really together in these things don't expect to answer prayers is what he's saying we can have a lot of fancy talk a lot of you know eloquence and all that but if we're not together our prayers can be hindered are we together do you promote does your leadership promote a team approach husband I think one of the biggest favors you can do for your family is to be united be together your children will know it when you're not together you don't even have to say it they will know it I think I think it's a pretty sad thing I thank God while I had my father my father and mother were together we just knew they were together and it brought a rest we had known of other homes when the children wanted to do something they knew where to go I trust we don't have that testimony they knew where to go one or the other because they knew they'd get usually when that's the case children want something is that wanting something spiritual usually not it's for the carnal bent something that they want to do that they know dad probably doesn't want them to do or sometimes sad to say they won't go to mom because they say I'll go to dad we can get our way I think I think that's a big detriment in our in our marriages if we're not together promote I just want to promote togetherness that your prayers be not hindered back to verse 33 in Ephesians it says there chapter 5 it says nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband now I still don't understand why God in his order talks to the woman first here in this passage and also in the Colossians but we're just going through it in this order but I know with all my heart that if the husband is down here where he needs to be at the foot of the cross the wife will generally will be right there with him nevertheless let every one of you in particular that's in a very personal way so love his wife even as himself or as Christ loved the church and is loving the church and will love her for all eternity and the wife see that she reverence her husband so can I just ask to say again be a man be a man after God's own heart David was called that man by the Lord himself but just this morning I was reading at the end of his life he says that he that rules over men must be just ruling in the fear of God and he says someone like that would be like a clear morning a clear morning he gives a testimony he gives a picture but he says even though it's not so in my house although God says that's the man after my heart David says it's not so in my house so may that give us hope even though we find we are if I know you're going to be honest brothers fathers and husbands we know that we aren't all where we need to be but David felt the same way but God testimony was he might maybe I don't know sometimes he wasn't maybe always here but still he was this man always in pursuit after that heart in sympathy with God's program his kingdom so let's be men let's be men and let's go beyond bailing water and just trying to keep it afloat we need to move forward there's work to be done let's rise up oh men of God have done with lesser things that was just that was just so little what's available for us men maybe what we should have talked about so we'll just open up for you men or anyone to share this time but first let's pray