Correct Response Of A right Husband

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Telephone numbers 0703 03636 59 0703 76811 98 Email address lsmediaatlivingseed.org or visit our website at www.livingseed.org Let us sit back and listen as the servant of God brings forth the Word of Life. A Father, tonight we thank you for all that you have led us through since morning. We give you all the honor and praise for the experiences you have been bringing us into.

We thank you for speaking into our situation at every point. We give you honor for our Bible study. We thank you for that which you taught us about the Corpus Altar.

We exalt you, O God, even for the prayer opera for our children, the children of families. Lord, we thank you for the seminar where you addressed us looking at the help that you are making us to be and the help that you are making for us in our lives. Lord, we thank you for the Corpus discussion, veritable testimonies that you have allowed us to touch again out of lives of brothers and sisters who have followed this principle for these several years.

Lord, we want to stand in your presence tonight as we are drawing this day unto a close that Father speak to us again. We ask that your Word that has been coming to us will keep finding space, will keep mixing with faith in our hearts, that every segment of the issues that you are intending to show us for our matrimony to become effective and profitable, Lord, we are praying, hide nothing from us. Speak to us with simplicity, speak to us with clarity, and speak to us in a way we can understand.

Thank you. Thank you, God, that we are not going to become dull of hearing. Our ears will not be the itching ears.

We will hear you and obey you. When we are concluding the song that we sang, say, trust and obey. Whatever it says to you, do it.

Lord, several issues you have been raising give us opportunity to respond to you so that in years to come, several of us again will be leading several couples into their own rest, will be guiding others into what you have done in our lives. Thank you, Father. In Jesus Christ's name, we have prayed.

Amen. The response, the response of a right husband, or maybe I should say the right response, the right response of a husband in order to set your family on course. The right, relevant, correct response for a husband to set his family on course.

Yesterday, Brother Tewase began to show us, as the Holy Spirit was leading, according to Scripture, that in Genesis chapter 3, even after the fall, God said to the woman, even though in sorrow you are going to conceive and bring forth children, yet your affection shall be to your husband and he shall rule over you. And he took us to the book of Esther and noted a decree that was meant to be circulated all over the world, in all languages, that every man should bear the rule over his own house. And we went further to look at 1 Corinthians chapter 11, where we were looking at that great organogram.

And even tonight, Sister Sade again refers to it, and said God's order said the head of the woman, the head of the wife is the husband, and the head of every man is Christ, and the head of Christ is God. That that was how God wanted it to be. So this night I will begin, as I will begin because that response I want to deal with tonight will not finish, because it has several applications, but we would like to begin it because the more we understand that if the head refuses to be a head, there will be confusion everywhere.

If the head does not give the correct response, what will happen is that the capacity and the potential of a woman will be wasted. And I've been listening to a very clear instruction to the woman that you are a helper, and that if you did not serve God as a helper, equipped and prepared for him, you have only wasted life and wasted the grace of God. As I sat down listening to those very, very heavy words, and I know that the reason why many women are finding difficult to respond to this truth is because the men to whom they were going to pour all their grace, all their strength, all their capacity, all their potential, have not given space, and they have not given right responses.

But as the Lord was going to be leading us tonight, I want to be looking at the right response of a husband in order to set his marriage on course. I decided to call it response rather than call it responsibility. But you know that there is no responsibility until you respond.

If you actually know that the word responsibility is only a... it came from response. Praise the Lord. If they say somebody is responsible, they are simply saying it's a person that brings right response to a situation when demands come.

If they look at someone and say he is not responsible, the only thing they are saying is that when we needed him to respond to a situation, he did nothing. I don't know whether you follow me. I am not in an English class, but the English specialist, they will be helping me later on to correct whatever mistake I am making on this matter.

But I know that a responsible man is a man that gives correct response to a situation. An irresponsible man is a man who does not respond when he is expected to do so. But I don't want to talk about responsibility of a husband tonight.

I only want to talk about the right response. Because I don't want to be talking of responsibility, responsibility. I want to talk about what you will do.

I want to talk about your response. What is the right response of a husband to set his marriage on course? You will go back with me to the same text. You know that this text is so rich that no matter how we have been digging into it, it looks inexhaustible.

And it's not that we are twisting the scripture. We are simply allowing it to unfold before our eyes. And I told you that that thing that you saw in Genesis, it gives to us the original principles that every other thing you want to do as far as marriage is concerned, you have to return to it.

Because it is the worthy standard that God has set. That's why we are digging it. That's why we are seeking to understand it.

And that's why we are praying that God will give us insight and revelation into how to respond to the word of God tonight. Are you there with me? Genesis chapter 2. We have been reading verse 18. But now we are going to read verse 23.

Verse 24. And verse 25. Verse 23, 24, and 25.

When I'm ready to illustrate it, we might take some other parts of scriptures that will help us illustrate what we are talking about. Praise the Lord. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.

She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall become or they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked.

The man and his wife. And they were not ashamed. May the Lord bless His word.

Again in our midst tonight in the name of Jesus Christ. You know, we began to look at what God said and what God committed Himself to do and how God engaged His capacity to make a help for the man. And we noted how God brought her unto the man.

But now we are looking at what is the man's correct response. And the little grammar I tried to do was to say to you that there is no responsibility without response. If they say you are responsible it's because you have responded.

If they say man is irresponsible that means when he is supposed to respond he did nothing. So tonight I'm dealing with what response must you as a husband bring forth in order to set your marriage on course. In order to release your marriage and release your wife and bring them to what they ought to become.

I'm praying that God in His mercy will allow us to have clear utterance about this even now. And Adam said I wanted to first note that and Adam did what? Said. May I say to you that every husband has the responsibility of speaking and uttering correct words that gives direction that gives definition that gives focus in every marital relationship.

For your marriage to be on course it is your responsibility to speak clearly. Several husbands mistakenly think and for most of us we always think and say I thought you should have known. I thought I told you.

And many many times your wife is saying no you didn't say it. I didn't know when you said it. The reason is because whereas for the man words may never mean much.

Words may just mean just an expression of an idea. But for your wife to have direction in life your words are weighty. Your words are defining.

The words of a husband is what gives definition to the wife. It is what gives focus to the wife. It is what gives rest to the wife.

Your words they are treasure to your wives. This is why whereas men may never put so much value on words your wife is different. If again like I've always made the experiment if I were to make an experiment here tonight you will discover maybe we can do it.

I want wives to please help me out here because we are dealing with an issue that is important. The letter that your husband wrote to you when you were courting one letter that he wrote to you when you were courting when he was still coming around and scratching the wall. Sister, where is that letter now? Somebody should please stand up and tell me.

I need a sister to tell me. Where are you? Eh? They are under your bed up till now. Hallelujah.

How long ago did this write that letter? Eh? 1998 20 solid years ago the letter is under her bed. Hallelujah. I'm coming.

Who else want to remind us or help me? Yes, auntie. My marriage will be 45 in August. Your marriage? 45 years in August.

45 years in August. I'm talking about 45 years later now. And that time is the card they normally send.

This card that we have a beautiful picture in front and the back is plain whereby your man will write something sweet at the back and post it through the post office. It will get to you. It's still in my box today.

Hallelujah. 45 years ago the card you sent is in the box. When you have to put it in the post, that postcard with beautiful photo in front but plain at the back and you write I would not want you to tell me exactly what he wrote that time but I know you are keeping it.

Yes, another one here. Please come and give the microphone to another sister here. Because I want you to understand something that is very important.

Two weeks ago my marriage was 30 years. Two weeks ago your marriage was 30 years. But I have a letter of 34 years.

A letter of 34 years? Yes, they go. Anytime I want to make fun in the home and my husband is not saying Yours lovely, my very dear I will fetch the letter and bring it out and start reading. And say? Yes.

And the children will laugh. They say my very dear Oteni. And he's not saying that again.

My dear Oteni. You are not saying it again. Where is Mr. Where is Ateji? Ateji stand up now.

Stand up now, stand up now. Come out and tell them. He's not saying it regularly again.

Hallelujah. Are you with me? You see what we are talking about is that for women the words you say matters a lot. If I were to ask a brother here Can you remember Brothers, please tell the truth now.

The letters that you wrote Where is it now? Where is it? He can't even remember that there was a letter like that. What we are noting is that we are lost for a man he can just speak and he will forget what he said. The reason is because words don't carry the same value in a man's heart as it does with a woman.

And you may not know that the words that you speak is a bond is your responsibility and your wife captures it and keeps it. Sometime she opens those old archives and will read just like sister Otene just read to us now and said Dear friendly, lovely Otene I don't know how I could have felt if I didn't meet you. You are the only hope that releases me.

Just to tell you I can't do without you. Signed. And the wife for 34 years has kept it.

For 45 years she has kept that card. For 20 years it was under the bed. But what you didn't even know is that they did not only keep it under the bed or keep it in the box or keep it it has lodged somewhere in their heart.

And every time you came back to say something to me that is not congruent with what you said before you used to be surprised that your wife would say that is not what you said before. Sometimes you are surprised that your wife will say this is not how you used to speak. And I hear her say how do I used to speak? Don't close my mouth.

No, no, no, no, no. She is referring to an archive. A treasure.

And that same treasure sometimes is a trash. But whether you say something that is good or you say something that is bad it has the same effect. It only takes God to help a woman to destroy the trash.

Otherwise it remains there. So when the Bible begins to speak to a husband and say husband do not be harsh with your wives. God was speaking about something that is very critical.

It is because the woman's heart and the woman's life is governed by what she hears. By the words that you speak. Some of you think that what a woman treasures most is the money or is the cloth.

No! If you give your wife a cloth and your word that preceded it was a bad word she will never wear that cloth. Because every time she wants to wear the cloth the first thing that will come back to her is what you said. So my first focus tonight is to deal with the correct response in what you say to set your marriage on course.

And Abraham did what? What God said. You will notice that as we were going to be looking at scripture it was what Adam said. We seem not to have heard anything that the woman said in that chapter.

And if you will take responsibility for speaking rightly for speaking defining words which I want to analyze quickly now for speaking accurately so much will be released in your marriage. But do you know that the power of life and of death the Bible says where? It's in the tongue. Many many brothers by the words of their mouth they have crippled their marriage.

By the words of their mouth they have slashed what God was putting together for their lives. And they are wondering why am I not getting the best? And Adam said So I first want you to know that it is your responsibility to speak. And not to speak carelessly but to speak words that edifies.

To speak words that ministers grace to your wife. The words that comes out of your mouth means much more than million to your wife. When she has finished dressing you may think that she is just dressing and dressing to go out.

No, no, no, no, no. She needs to hear a word from you. But unfortunately several brothers they seem not to have eyes to see anything beautiful.

Or even if they see they are very stingy with correct words. To simply say that is very nice. You look cute.

That releases something in your wife. But since you said nothing He said, are you ready? Let's go. You may not know that that little thing you have said has done something, has scattered that woman.

Say, with all that I dressed, he didn't even see it. How terrible it is that it is only when you get to church that another fellow, another person, not you he say, oh madam, you look gorgeous. And when you saw her smiling and say thank you very much, thank you very much you are wondering because you are a man whose mouth damages.

Sometimes your silence is as killing. Do you know that when your wife has finished making her hair are you hearing me? She is rushing to come home. And at that time she will remove the hair tie.

What, sister, what are you waiting for? Talk to me, talk to me so that they can hear. You are waiting for him to say something. But this man is too busy, he is looking into the computer.

He is reading, he may even be reading Bible. And the wife says, this man has no eye to see. So at some time you know your wife when she cannot keep quiet.

He say, you didn't even comment about my hairdo. I say, and so what, and so what? Is this the first time you are making hair? Imagine such a damaging world. You might think it is spirituality and that you are protecting holiness.

No, you are a damager. Yes. You see, it is because you need a response to set your wife on.

To release her potential. To increase her confidence. A wife is not confident until she hears a word.

A wife requires an affirmation for her to be sure God ordained it like that. It is not a weakness but a manufacturer's design. And we've got to understand the biblical basis in order for our marriages to run on course.

The reason why you hear many many wives, their cry is not for hunger. Their cry is for communication. The wife is longing to hear you speak into her life.

Into what she's doing. She may be highly educated, she may have a PhD but that does not remove that need in her life. You may think because your wife is a permanent secretary in the office that she does not need that affirmation.

You made a mistake. And the reason why so many young girls fall into the wrong hand of charlatan is simply those who knew how to play with words. I love you.

You are precious. Even though they didn't mean it but it's like a magic. The way it will make your daughter restless.

If you see girls developing in your house you will see the difference between the girl and the boy. You will see the girl coming over and over again and say, Daddy, do you like my dress? The boy will not say that. The boy will wear his dress and go and play football.

But the small girl is waiting for affirmation and confirmation. It's the manufacturer's design. And Adam did what? Said.

So let me ask you, what are you saying? What do you say day by day to your wife? Or do you wake up and forgot to say something? Did you just walk out and you have said nothing? Or when we are expecting you to speak you just decided to say something that has no relevance? And Adam said that is very critical. But now let me go to what did he say? Can we check what he said? Do we think we should go to what he said? And Adam said this this now. I want you to see three important words there.

This this What's the meaning of the word this? Eh? This one. This precisely. This particular one.

This singular one. This. And do you know that there is never a time you want to use the word this.

Are you hearing me? And your hand, your finger almost without thinking your finger does what? Comes out and points at something you can touch. Am I right? If you want to say this is mine how do you do it? How do you do it? You are putting your hand on it. What is the difference between this and that? Eh? You see the one that is, you say that far unaccessible is that.

But you can never, you can never say this without putting your finger on what you are talking about. When he said this is my bones I can just see his hand on the shoulder of Mary, I mean of the wife. I can see how he put his finger and say this.

This. Can I find out from sisters how do you feel honestly when your husband eh? In the midst of people stood up and bring out his hand and place it on your neck and say this is my wife. Talk to me, how do you feel? Sister, don't hide your feeling now.

Tell me how do you feel? Eh? Now tell me how you feel when your husband stands up in the church or in a meeting or in the public and he stood up and he said praise the Lord. We thank God for everyone body that is here. God is good.

Hallelujah. Eh I thank God for the way the word of God has been moving and eh and people had to come when they greeted him, shook him, finish they even forgot that you came with him. Are you understanding? And it is after a long time somebody said, excuse me, is is is that madam? Is that madam? Oh yes, that's madam, that's madam.

How do you feel dear sister? Please talk to me. I want your husband to hear. If you don't talk to me now your husband will think you don't know.

How do you feel? You feel bad. You feel neglected. You feel ignored.

You feel as unimportant and irrelevant. Baba that's what you have been doing. That's how damaging it is.

So your wife doesn't know where do I belong? To whom am I? This man has has done everything and I can't see him say this is my wife. And you know how terrible it is for you to be your wife that will have to be struggling to say excuse me sister if you don't know I am his wife. I hope you know it's terrible.

When a woman, a wife has to do that it means she has become agitated. It means that jealousy is rising inside of her say the way this girl is sitting here as if this man has no wife. Let me just go there now and show my face.

I know sometimes husbands you don't like it when your wife just walks in and it's not that you want to say anything you just want to interrupt what you are doing and walk about. And then when she finishes you say darling when are you coming home? You know she is saying something. If you are not responsible enough to let this girl that is sitting before you know that this is the bone of your bones I better go and tell them before they think nobody was around.

Many wives are restless because you are stingy. I am not saying you are stingy with money you are stingy with words. The greatest trouble that many people have had that made their marriages never to balance for a long time is their stinginess with words.

It is only when light is out in the dark bedroom then it will come in like a rat and then it will be stretching hands you know like that I love you, I love you. What does that mean? What does that mean? Talk to me now brother. What does that mean in the dark? What does it mean when nobody is hearing? What kind of I love you is that? A woman you denied in the public you forgot her in the cloud.

You only came home and said save me. That's why you see your wife just removed that rat hand and just threatened the wife. And then you say this woman is difficult she is not.

My God, am I in trouble tonight? Should I continue this message? Should I continue this message? And the man said this this, this public identification particular identification peculiar identification as a public particular peculiar identification it releases your wife and sets your marriage on course. It defines your marriage and it makes no one to take it for granted. It lifts it above every controversy and it immediately insulates it from interruption.

So when the man opened his mouth and said this is a singular identification a focus identification this is you can't say this is without your finger on her. What it means that she's been singled singled out of the crowd. I'm happy that we have insisted that you must sit with your wife tall or short.

I hope you will continue this when you go home. Eh? I hope everywhere you are going when you want to sit down you are putting your hand and say we are sitting you put your hand and say this is my wife she has to sit here before I sit. Then they will start knowing that we can't find one seat for this man where I must find two seats because he is going to come with his wife.

I said focus! This is! If you will not focus on the help that God has given you how do you want to maximize it? If you will behave as if she is just one woman among many women how will she know how relevant how useful, how indispensable she is in your life? Those of you that I know you are preachers I see how you are eagerly identified with people outside. Some of these prayer warrior sisters you say well you know she prays, she prays so much and fast she is the pillar of my ministry. You are a liar.

That woman is not a pillar, she is a dungeon. If God does not turn your eyes from her she will finish you. She will start prophesying to you.

She will start saying there is an attack from whom? That when she was praying the other day she just saw that there is an arrow there is an arrow and I said from where is this arrow coming from? She said it is the arrow from the kitchen. She said when I prayed for that, I prayed for that I was just agonizing the spirit I was just agonizing the spirit and I saw it. And the Lord just said tell him to be careful.

That is a dangerous prophet. If you want to hear my counsel cast her out. Stand up immediately.

Send for your wife. And tell the madam Sister, stop the prayer. Stop that prayer you are praying.

This is the bone of my bones. This is the one that God has ordained to help me up. I thank you for your prayer.

Did you hear what my wife said this evening? Did you hear her? She said many people are praying for brother Billy. But there is none of all those prayers that is so specialized so adapted so peculiar as what she does for me. I have to learn that from God.

I have to understand that though I may have millions of prayer supporters they don't equal what she needs them to cry to God on my behalf. May the Lord help you to understand what I am talking about. The right response of a husband to set his house in order to set his marriage on course.

Now he said this is Take note that the word this is not these. Did you hear me? What does the word this signify? Singular. Singular.

Not two, not three, not four. One. With whom God has tied my destiny.

One in whom all the help that God has packaged for me to be complete had been put. It takes a personal understanding to focus this is. Many husbands have not yet focused on their wives.

Their eyes are see up and down. And you know when I say your eyes are up and down I'm not saying you are looking for women who I'm not saying that you are flirting about that's not what I'm talking about. Some are like that but I'm not talking about flirting men.

I'm talking about men whose eyes are not yet focused on what God has put in their home for them. They are busy running helter and skelter. Looking for what others can do for them.

If the wife wants to sit and say keep quiet what do you know? This is and I said that is a language of singularity and single focus. For your marriage to release its full potential you must focus on this woman that God has given you. You must focus on her life you must focus on her growth you must focus on her release you must focus on her development.

If she is going to be nourishable tomorrow you must focus on nourishing her. If you don't nourish this you may get nothing out of it tomorrow. And yet it is not because she does not carry potential but it's a potential damage it's a potential wasted it's a potential blocked.

This is when you have come to know the implication of this is the bone of my bones the flesh of my flesh when that has become clear to you you will settle down. Husband do you plan to be great? Settle down, settle down with this woman. Settle down.

Do you want something that is glorious in the coming days? Settle down. Don't take your marriage lightly anymore. Don't think I see where I married her let me just go around.

No. This is when the dam came to that it came to a place of focus. What I'm struggling with to say to you tonight is that many of you married for 20 years but you've never focused on the development of your wife.

You have not focused on what she could become in order to help you. Maybe this is why you have not focused prayers on her. This is why you have not focused affection.

You have not focused everything that you can input to make her who she should be. When the Holy Ghost I sat in my office sitting in car road you know when sitting in car road that should be 1988 or something and I sat in the office I have been working since morning till about 7pm and the Holy Ghost asked me a question where is your wife? You know in my head as simple as she is in the hospital she is working I think she is on call the Holy Spirit said I'm not saying I'm not asking you where she is in the hospital I'm asking you where is your wife? In the scheme of what I've called you to do I couldn't stand up from that office again I sat there and said God what are you talking about? God said look that this woman is the one I have sent into your life to make you enter into everything I'm talking to you about where is she? It was then God began to ask me this Bible study outline you have been preparing where is she in his preparation? It was then he done on me that how would God give me a help and I've neglected it and I've ignored it and I wasn't passionate about it when I rose from that office that day I rushed to the house the first question I said where are you? she asked me what's happening? you know I'm always at home I said no no no I said that's not it I'm asking for your location that day I remember I began to tell her I said look this hospital work we are doing here this is not the reason why God brought you into my life she said I know she said but you know since since you are busy and you will not involve me so let me also take care of home affairs on your behalf I said no it will not be like that again then the Lord said if you train her in the things that I've called you to do she will help you better tomorrow focus I cannot thank God enough for that evening when God began to show me that if you will not be particular if you will not focus you will never get the best of what I've put in her for you but I thank God today I thank God for the capacity that the Holy Spirit is releasing to me through her it's difficult to explain but you see it is your response that will bring it out I pray that the Holy Ghost will give you a clear picture of what I'm saying tonight I don't know when you will keep having time to quarrel and to keep my list for one week or for two days or for one month if you know that inside her is locked up very valuable things that you cannot do without this this the bone of my bones now when she now began to speak I now see not only a conviction it was now coming out of a conviction this is the bone of my bones you see the language is used thank God that we are doing becoming one flesh in the Bible study and that has helped me I don't need to go over that again I know in the Bible study you will have noted the matter of becoming one flesh that the man came with an understanding this is not someone from somewhere this is the bone of my bones this woman is an expression of something in me that is internal that people may never see what has affected my heart about my own marriage is that the only person that feels the way I feel internally the only one person that bears the pains of my life as if it were her pains is this woman every other person are my sympathizers did you hear me? you are not hearing me who is a sympathizer? a sympathizer is somebody who is trying to identify externally with your pains which is not real to him so he starts to say do? do? sorry eh pele ka is he paining you? when he asks, is he paining you? that is to show you that he is not paining her am I correct? she is only a sympathizer and thank God that maybe sympathy is useful at a certain level but sympathy is not what I need I need someone like they describe Jesus they say we do not have a man that cannot be touched with the feelings of our infirmities in that in all points he had been tempted just like we are he had taken part of the same so that he could be a merciful high priest and that is what God makes a wife for a wife is someone who your pain reports in her as if she is the one she is the one that so one day when God was speaking to me he said look all the people you share your prayer request with thank God for them but for majority it is when they see you coming that they are praying when you are gone what happens? they continue their normal business but there is one that whether she goes into the kitchen Lord help us oh God help my husband when she is in the bathroom father I don't know what is happening Lord have mercy on us he has not come back Lord when they are turning around I say God God God help us her prayer has no particular time I was telling a story to our resource person of some dangerous omission I was entering into when I began to neglect the bone of my own bones because I had friends the day God was going to finish the matter ha it was wonderful any time I meet my friend I forget that I have a wife when we talk and talk and talk and talk and talk till 5 am no food no GSM I say well you know that any time I meet my friend I have a language that is a Yoruba proverb when you see the man you talk with you become a talkative so that is why you know no no no no so gradually I saw my wife beginning to adjust that whenever he is with his friend you don't need to look for him I didn't know I was killing something so one day we went for you remember the journey we took to Ediden and we were coming back in a convoy and my brother and his wife that we went to arrange and the brethren they were driving in front and we were in a car as usual with my friend and we got to Vandeke we have passed Vandeke we are just coming to before we get to Simke we had a tyre puncture and there was no there was no there was no spare tyre you know we used to drive by faith and because we are all in a convoy even if there is a tyre problem I would just stop that car and say just bring your own tyre and we continue but unfortunately our tyre punctured no jack no spare other cars they left they didn't look back my wife was in the other car they went when anybody say we didn't see Bragbile they said don't worry maybe they branch you know whenever it is his friend they can always branch what a terrible testimony my life was becoming a man unpredictable a man whose wife cannot say my husband is there and I know he will be here at this time you know that day no matter how I prayed in tongues we couldn't get anybody to borrow us jack there was no to help us where the thing stopped there we slept 6am 6am we were there mosquito fed on me like nothing so when people started opening their shop we got somebody who helped us by the time I was coming back to my car it was 10am the following day you know the first thing I did I said God if we had had an accident and we need blood transfusion it means none of these people will look back I said if nobody look back why not my wife so I was coming home I was going to say I said hey you slept my wife said something that I can never forget she said you trained me I already concluded that you may even decide to sleep whenever you see your friend she didn't say more than that I went in you at least say did you see what you have become you have become a man that nobody will look for including the woman that I placed in your life so that you will never be lost with tears I bow before God I said God I have missed it I repented with dust and ashes I said Lord it's enough now what am I saying do you know that if you die now only one woman will be a widow you are not answering me everybody else will come and go after two three days your house will be empty she will be the only one why will you not focus on that which God has planted into your life I said Lord this is the bone of my bones you must focus identification so I'm now going on to the next thing what is the next response focused definition if you don't define your wife your marriage we have no definition if you will not give definition to the woman God has given you your marriage also will never have a clear definition and it will not have a clear destination this is the bone of my bones the flesh of my flesh she shall be called who named the woman who named the woman it is your response responsibility to give your wife a correct identity I am not talking about pet names darling honey that's not what I'm talking about and I'm not against it but I'm talking of something more grievous what do you call your wife what do you call your wife before disciples what do you call your wife in the midst of your church members what do you call your wife in the presence of your relatives what do you call her well you see what I wanted to talk about I wanted to say what did you call forth in her because when you give identity to a man when you give a name to something the name calls forth that personality sometimes small small children they try me small babies, small children some of my staff children and I love them small children four years, five years three years I see them maybe because they always see me on the television when their parents are listening to a message or something so they always see uncle Billy are you understanding so some of those children one of the things they want to prove to their colleagues is that they know me and they know my name and if you're arguing with them they will not know that I'm hearing them say I know you, that's uncle Billy that's uncle Billy then one of them that is brave you know will just say uncle Billy and you know when a four year old call me like that say uncle Billy it's not that he wants to greet me he will call like that and he won't I got him I call him by his name and of course you know when they call me like that they are even no matter what I'm doing they have called something out of me I will turn I say yes I am, I am, come and shake me then he will bring that tiny hand and shake me and you know he will run and tell the mother I saw uncle Billy I shook him, I called his name eh, the mother will say you are not afraid you call uncle his name why do you do that? is that not his name? I call him brother what do you call your wife? what are you calling forth out of your wife? what are you releasing your wife to become? this is the bone bone of my bones flesh of my flesh she will be called woman because she has been taken out of me I say to say anything you see in me that's him what you see me be that's what she is if you ever want to respect me that's the person to respect that's the one that is making me thick that's the one that has helped me up that's the one that fills my gaps so when Patrick Ogodo was giving his testimony yesterday with his wife how he had to continuously defy his wife to his people to his parents to his brothers, to his siblings how he had to continuously redefine her unto the mother and the father now know that if you are looking for a daughter, this is your own unto they will no longer where they could not tell other children they would tell Christy and say if he, come let me tell you something what do you call her what are you calling forth in your wife what is it that she is, you are expecting her to come up with the response of the man this is the bone of my bones and the flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman did you see that there is a because there said because she was taken out of man, it is not because of anything, it is because she is me it was in Genesis chapter 3 when the devil came and destroyed their marriage that the man was looking for a new definition did you see that the definition changed, the name changed in Genesis 3, have you noticed that in Genesis 3 she said and she will be called what Eve, what is Eve what is Eve it was a terrible and greedy, because she was the mother of all living, as if to say she only have identity if she has children if she doesn't have a child, no identity for her but in chapter 2 he said this shall be called woman she will bear my name because she is out of me, we are one what do you call your wife some of you are in ministry and I know that you have not called your wife properly and you know what I am talking about is not to say assistant G.O. and I am not asking you to introduce your wife and say all of you in this church, this is your mother this is that same woman that at home you shout upon we are not talking about that don't go and do that kind of thing is a ridicule while you are imposing your wife hypocrite that's not what I am talking about I am talking about what value so when Ululati was speaking about how God began to put value upon joy in his heart when God began to reintroduce his wife to him and said do you know that the most valuable thing I am putting in your life is this woman you are not even qualified to have her my wife was asking me what were you reading I ran back to the house and picked the book no more to and I was looking at what I had to write many years ago because it just don't know me again so I went and said did I write it like that and I was smiling to myself I said it's true what I said more than 20 something years ago I am still saying it today I felt when my eyes opened I felt very very unqualified to have God put such a treasure in my life the day my wife told me that she is going to resign her job I first wept I said what for will you not be redundant will people not say I can't spell on you everybody highly respect this doctor one man came furiously to my house and said you are a wicked man I said what have I done you took away this doctor that delivered us what ministry are you talking about what ministry are you doing you are a wicked man my wife would have died if not because of this woman your wife that delivered her my child would have been crippled if not because of this woman that hurt us and you are saying that there is one ministry what ministry is that wicked man and before I could talk he drove his machine and went away in annoyance and I looked at my wife and said you see this is the kind of thing I am going to be saying she said but they are not the one who brought me here God brought me to help you don't think I will be redundant I am resigning so I can pray for you how can I have a whole doctor resigned to do nothing not to preach she has never thought preaching was number one for her I had to persuade her to preach when I began to realise the need she said I am alright just to pray just to pray sister what is your qualification what do you have that you are holding tight because you have not seen the great opportunity God has given you to be the helper but I am not blaming you since your husband has never given you a proper definition your husband has rubbished you he has made it look as if well you are just one woman there and when you cook for him and he eats and then he goes back and sometime he goes on the road and buys barley you know what you call barley roasted plantain with granite and he is eating it and by the time he comes and says I am ok I am not ready to eat again and you say well that is the only thing I do for him he is not even eating my food again what am I there for again what is my use as if you are there as a cook husband the right response you must name your wife you must give her identity what are you calling forth out of that woman don't let her be crippled don't allow her to waste away as if God made a mistake of posting such a potential into your life what is the last response for tonight the Lord will permit me to follow this up tomorrow but let me ask you for the response therefore shall a man do what leave his father and his mother you see by the time we came to this passage an ordinance is now coming but I'm not going to stop there because our bible study is dealing with it therefore shall a man when you have discovered what is this bone of your bones this flesh of your flesh there is no other connection that should stop you from cleaving and holding tightly onto this your response is to cleave I wish I can put it to you your response you know sometimes when I'm preaching in English there's no correct English word in my mouth I would have loved to go back home and speak from the native tongue I would have said if you were a Yoruba man who understands my native tongue the one from my village I would have said wanyima what's the meaning of that wanyima is more than farama is more than hold tightly to it it means not only your hand your teeth bite it with your teeth so that if anybody want to take her away that one that you hold with your teeth it will either cut into your mouth or they will leave her for you I'm talking about the height of holding tightly of cleaving this one must not fall out of my hand this one must not be wasted this one I must not miss her this one nothing must come in between us a correct response response of cleaving response of holding tightly to response of protective holding a response of a deliberate committed hanging on both with your hand and with your teeth because this is the bone of my bones the flesh of my flesh I will come back on that verse 24 at a different point but I just want to put it as one of the responses that we can pick and therefore the two of them were both naked but I wanted to see the other can you read for me verse 25 thank you ma'am and they were both naked I wanted to see the other who was naked first the man and his wife and were not ashamed and they were not ashamed they were not embarrassed he was happy to identify with her whatever she is that's the bone of my bones how many of you are proud of the woman you married how many of you don't once upon once upon a time you feel ashamed you think that she is not when it is time to introduce her I say well my wife cannot speak so let me speak for her so you go home feeling bad I wish I married that one that is that is I don't know what you are talking about sometimes you are ashamed she is too dark because you have just seen one that is very very yellow sometimes you come back you turn to your wife don't you see other sisters what do you see about them eh white washed seaporkers if you live with any of those one you are talking about in one day you will run out and they were both what naked when you have understood what I am talking about the next thing is for you to open up open up open your life out let her have opportunity to explore you in your nakedness and when your wife knows that my husband is open to me she has been waiting to open up she has been waiting she will tell you everything because she now has confidence I have a man who cherishes me aunty thank you sit down god bless you this night I ask you to join me in prayer but you know as I was looking at all of this you might think that Adam just said it something happened to his own life a regeneration took place in his own life that deep sleep that deep sleep that god put him through that broke his bones that showed him his weakness that created hunger in his heart if it has not happened to you the natural arrogance the selfishness of natural man the cover up will never allow you to set your marriage in order so as we will be praying tonight if you have not experienced the touch of the lord if you have been intact since you were born by your mother you have not experienced the crucified lord walking in your life to change you that's the first beginning it is possible that your wife or your husband said follow me to ugboko I said well let's go there but not that you have encountered Jesus for your own life not that he has broken through your life and is producing a new man you know that which is born of the flesh the bible say is flesh that which is born of the spirit the bible say is spirit don't be surprised you must be born again we will be praying tonight for the right response of a husband to set his marriage on course and to maximize the profitability of your union and I know that you are going to pray with me tonight to say god where I have been stingy I have spoken wrong words I have entered short wave communication for too long you want to say good morning good morning where are you going? there when are you coming back? anytime what of the children? which one? what of the things that we were talking about? what are we talking about? you already know already made one syllable answer to shout her down and it is when you are going out when the key is in your hand already to kick your car you now call a Yabo come come come tell your mother that I have gone that is a woman you were in the same room with why do you have to send another Yabo you have avoided direct talk and you are doing it deliberately I will punish you I will punish her you will punish her if I put what you have said in the correct word I will say what you have said I will punish myself I will block myself I will scatter my progress that is what you have said that is what the bible said he said no man ever yet hated his own flesh if a man would be doing damage to his wife he does damage to himself and to his destiny you are going to pray with me tonight brothers and sisters we are going to pray together Lord I didn't know this before I didn't know it involves this kind of thing I didn't know that this is what it means to be a husband and this is the kind of response I will have called you responsibility but I don't want a big word I just want your response tonight when you have responded to God you will respond also to your wife and say oh God I didn't know this the only thing that you have ever commented about was her mistake when she does something very well you never talked it's only that thing that she did not do well that you are going to talk about then you are saying what of her what of her she is always nagging I tell you the secret of nagging the secret of nagging is that when a woman has waited for commendation and all she hears is either condemnation or no comment her hunger for words is what makes her to begin to you are not to be a husband what she is doing is not anything it's just for you to say something the moment you begin to talk you will see that she will keep quiet and begin to enjoy what you are saying tonight we are going to pray do you think we should pray together stand with me in prayer and a simple prayer for the first prayer to say Lord the right response some of you knew about this superficially some of you you got it wrongly by thinking it was a psychological statement we are talking about some of you thought that all they taught you in those books and when you wake up tell your wife three times I love you, I love you, I love you that's not what I'm talking about, not empty words would you like to pray and say Lord there can be something bigger, something more glorious in my marriage my wife could be released better than what she is now I didn't know, Lord please pardon my ignorance where I have used wrong words where I have withdrawn correct words where I have made my wife to lament that is this not the man I used to speak sweet words to my wife before why am I hearing harsh words criticism as if something has finished in his heart concerning me would you like to pray and say God visit us wives have you yourself become embittered have you yourself become, you know you have lost, you have lost you have lost focus on who you are and who you should be you are beginning to react you are now a shadow of what God would have wanted you to be, can you pray and say Lord recover my life recover our marriage reset us, set us on course from this night please open your mouth and pray call on God call on God there are many other issues God would be dealing with in the course of time, but for tonight I think you should just pray with me just say Lord this thing that I'm hearing you, this thing that you are beginning to redefine for us, this thing you are beginning to speak about we didn't know how critical it was, Lord please help me help us the Bible says the time of ignorance God win that will you please pray and say Lord do something new with me help me to understand help me to know that it is my responsibility to speak to minister in words words that minister grace seizing words seizing in result knowing how to speak to him that is weary please pray pray for God to help you right now He said this particular peculiar singular a focus identification with the woman that God has put in your life please pray I know the Holy Spirit will give will give increase to this as we go ahead I know God himself will break what I said down into smaller bits and it will begin to walk in our hearts but I wanted just to pray, just pray and say Lord as a husband help me will you also please hold your wife tonight again you know yesterday I made you to pray together tonight again I wish you will pray, just hold that woman ask God Lord redefine this woman for me redefine this woman in my eyes and redefine my husband to me help me to know who I am supposed to be what am I supposed to be in his life Lord open my understanding please pray as a wife pray as a husband tonight this thing we didn't know this thing we have not been taught properly we just spoke anyhow Father tonight reset our marriage on course don't forget that there are people that marry for 45 years in a midst and somebody will say what are they looking for again even if it remains just 5 more years it can be better the end of the matter is better than the beginning thereof pray the many 30 something years of our own marriage we are leaning down again and say Lord it can be better, it can be higher you can move us beyond where we are please Lord walk in our hearts younger couples can you cry to God help me to catch this well middle age couples can you cry to God we still have several years ahead Lord please do a new thing for us this couples retreat must reset our marriage on course please pray please call on God thank you tonight thank you for hearing this prayer thank you thank you thank you Father tonight Holy Spirit please do your work we have been hearing you speak in diverse ways please do your work in our midst do your work deliberately carry us from where we are now husband that are too quiet as to say nothing they have made their wives unsure of where they stand I don't know where I stand with this man Father please change that for us tonight thank you Lord thank you for hearing our prayer while you are holding your hand together as husband and wife leave those two hands together before God and I want you to declare to God that which you have you have brought to me as a wife that which you have brought to me as a husband I will not let it go it's a treasure I'm willing to forsake all to cleave unto Lord we renew our married covenant before you tonight Lord restore to me those gracious words that I used it came out of my heart that time because I thought I was trying to win somebody's affection Lord tonight visit me again whatever damage has happened can you release it sister release it tonight and say it was a time of ignorance even me myself I didn't know would you like to call on God and say Father release me just release me everything that bounds me inside let it be released from tonight thank you Father thank you Father please go and pray take liberty to pray anyhow take liberty to hold one another before God take liberty to say God I have not placed value on our relationship I have not yet defined what this woman shall be I have not called forth in her the capacity of your grace I have kept her at the periphery of things because I didn't think I needed it tonight O God restore us restore me pray from the depth of your heart engage the hand the hand of God the hand that makes things correct engage him and say Lord help me tonight whilst can you engage God and say Lord help us tonight Lord Lord remember I believe we were speaking as if he knew in my heart Lord help me tonight Lord help me tonight just pray just pray I know God is answering our prayer I know the Holy Spirit is going to do more than we can ask or imagine tonight Lord Lord move in this meeting tonight move O God what I'm asking you to do O God is going to revolutionize our generation something we break forth from this marriages Lord I'm asking you for a redefinition a release of their potentials liberty liberty to be open to each other they were both naked nothing to hide again Lord do it do it in this meeting tonight do it beyond us do it beyond our thinking thank you tonight Holy Spirit please walk your walk in this meeting do what only you can do only you can do what I'm asking you to do Lord only you can do what no man can do thank you for hearing our prayer thank you for doing beyond us thank you for where you are going thank you for this deliberateness with which you decided to visit us in this retreat thank you Lord I pray that your word will run I pray Lord that your word will prosper I pray O God that the truth that sets men free will walk in our midst tonight in Jesus name we have prayed thank you Father dear brother dear sister just this last matter of prayer spiritual things are only spiritually designed it is possible that you've not actually been faithful to your partner either your husband or your wife and all is because your eyes have never opened the life that could carry this kind of instruction you don't have it you may be religious but you've not met the man of Calvary and you may look back and say the major issue is that my heart has never settled down but I hear God saying a new heart will I give you a new spirit will I put I will take away from you the heart of stone all the trouble in many whom the Bible says is for the hardness of their hearts you just know that there is some stubbornness that nobody could break if somebody offends you you hardly can let go even if you keep quiet you are waiting for the time of revenge but I perceive the Lord is standing in her midst and says yes I brought you here because I want to walk with you I've not finished with you I'm ready to forgive and to cleanse you and to give you a new beginning and even though night after night God had been addressing different issues about lives about family about the new wine this night I want to ask have you brought the man of Calvary Jesus to first be the Lord of your life will you say that if the trumpet sounds tonight there will be no dry bones in your cupboard nobody could have known what I'm talking about but between you and God you knew that you have not been walking well sometimes you travel far away from your city to a far place so you can commit sin and you came back as if you just travelled for business God wants that matter to stop tonight God wants to forgive someone in our midst tonight God wants to change your story God wants to give you a new beginning your marriage is not in heaven yet your marriage must prepare you for heaven this night whether you are in the outside class or in the dormant class or in thief class wherever you are you know you have to make a response to God tonight and say Lord it's me I need your touch where are you? please lift up your right hand everybody is praying but God has a purpose to want to reset things some say what they are saying, my own is too far you are not too far God can recover anything someone may be saying ah my situation there may even be a child out of your wedlock that opts you have not yet been able to confess to your partner and you are saying ah I can't do it but your spirit has troubled you tonight and said bring it before the Lord as we are going to finally pray if this night you hear God saying tonight is your night of restoration tonight is the night that God has decided to help, to forgive, to cleanse and to set you loose as I would like to pray finally let me request that you please step before God and say Lord I just need a touch touch me one more time touch me oh God and all will be well the woman with the issue of blood was in trouble for 12 years but that day she came out to the Lord the matter was finished if this night the Lord is saying give me a space to make all things new you've been here but your spirit is saying tonight is your night lift up that right hand above your head and say Lord it's me and I need you thank you sir it's me Lord it's me and I need a touch I need your touch tonight the things that have been holding me back for years I want you to resolve it for me tonight God bless you, thank you thank you can I please respectfully request that you should come so that I can join hands with you tonight in prayer please stand and come let's pray together as you raise that right hand Lord please rise and say Lord I put action to my decision tonight thank you sir, thank you I put action you brought me here because there's something you want to do with me, thank you thank you sir thank you, thank you mom thank you my brother thank you, thank you I put action to my decision tonight God is the one who is doing this, it's because this meeting is going to mark a turning point thank you thank you sir, thank you my dear sister thank you thank you, thank you thank you my friend thank you, please come thank you my brother thank you sir thank you, thank you brother sister thank you, thank you it shall be well God will make it well thank you, thank you to say Jesus I hand over to you you are not coming to one who will ridicule you, you are coming to God who is able to make all things right he will make it right thank you, God will make it right never you worry about how much damage he can make all things right say behold I make all things new thank you sister I make all things new I make all things new thank you brother God wants to make all things new thank you my brother please come quickly thank you sir thank you my friend brother thank you it is not to a man you have stepped out you are coming you know Neyman had leprosy for years nobody could help him he had gone everywhere no solution but when she came she only need to dip into that pool and there is a fountain tonight flowing as you dip yourself in it it is going to be a turnaround the disappointment you have had with yourselves God is going to finish it God will do it he will make all things new thank you, if you are coming here please do quick thank you dear sister, please cook quick just come quickly quickly Lord you can make all things new you can make all things new please come down thank you you know night after night God is standing because he hasn't finished the devil is the one that says your wound is finished no, no, no, no actually you are the threshold of a new beginning thank you Lord thank you please I want us to pray now thank you thank you are you coming here? please do quick please stretch out your hand to God the compassionate God is standing in this meeting tonight he makes all things new the past that has been which haunts you God will wipe it out tonight the mistakes of yesteryears God has come with the blood of the lamb to cleanse you and to begin with you to give you a new heart a new spirit Father tonight together with my brothers, my friends our sisters we stretch out our hands you know where we are coming from you know the damage that has been done you know the wreck that the enemy wrecked us but we hear you say come unto me I will give you rest tonight Lord declare rest to your people give them rest from their restlessness Lord things that we wouldn't want to sort out but we are bringing it to your table here tonight we lay it down O God the favor we need the forgiveness we need the acceptance we need only comes from you Father tonight come and walk again walk in our hearts take away the stony heart create in me a new heart renew a right spirit within me Lord I pray for men husbands that because of what their lives have been they couldn't do otherwise than just fall and rise into sin tonight change that story make all things new what has scattered before Father when you came to the valley of dry bones and you asked son of man can these dry bones live again it looked impossible where will I start where will I start but not with God those scattered bones they will live again Lord you will bring wholeness back to these lives back to their families back to their hearts in the name of Jesus Christ Father tonight as you stretch forth your hands they stretch forth their hands now I ask you Lord take those hands put your hand in their hands tonight you drew men out of the dungeon draw them out tonight you took many of us from the Mary Lord take them out in the name of Jesus Christ every plan of Satan every occultic impression upon their lives some it is because something happened and they were tied tonight by the word of God and by the anointing of the Holy Ghost we release you from every bondage we break every yoke in the name of Jesus Christ your life will be made new again tonight we release you from every bondage of sin, bondage of sickness bondage of fear bondage of retardation bondage of poverty we take you out in the name of Jesus Christ Lord these marriages that have become looking hopeless say where do we start this night father bring us to a new beginning for the Bible says if anyone be in Christ it is a new creation old things have passed away we do see the old things old life, old experiences we do see it passing off in the name of Jesus Christ Lord with your hands I said put your hand in their hands lift up their hands oh God say lift up the drooping hands and the feet that is lame you won't turn it out of the way Lord I'm asking that there will be restoration and from this night particularly there will be the joy of salvation thank you Lord once more oh God as we bring them words of cancer please undertake for us please encourage them let the power of the Holy Spirit fall upon them going out of this meeting they are going as a brand new person there are children that have been wondering what's happening to our parents Lord they will have a new story thank you in Jesus Christ name we have prayed Amen