Couples Testimony

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Telephone numbers 0703 0363659, 0703 7681198. Email address lsmediaatlivingseed.org or visit our website at www.livingseed.org. Let us sit back and listen as the servant of God brings forth the Word of Life. We are going to right away go ahead to take testimonies to illustrate some of these principles that God has been delivering to pass across to us.

I want to look at life cases, couples who have encountered the Lord and some of these truths and how they have applied them in some specific cases in their matrimony. I'm going to right away introduce one of such couples, a beloved brother, Amos and the Uluinka Olayinka. They are God's servants.

They are laboring with Peace House, but presently God has lifted them to go to Uganda. They've been married for a while, and over the years, God has helped them. They have children, grown-up children.

So I want to look at how some of these principles have worked out in their own life, and they are going to tell us some stories and testimonies. Please, I want you to please open your ears and do not be casual. Many times when God wants to reach out to us, we hear words fail.

He does the unveiling. He brings visual aids, and we must not fail to catch all such moments. Brother Amos and Sister Uluinka are already in the studio.

You are welcome, sir and ma'am. It's a privilege to have you with us. Thank you.

God bless you. Thank you very much. Yes, I don't want to preempt you.

Maybe when you come up, you may want to share with us for how long you've been married, so that may encourage some of us here. But if that would depend on you, if it is necessary for the testimony. But I think what God will be doing is just to let you tell your stories.

You know, one of the quiet things I have with several of us, if you are observant, is that one of the key issues in marriages is the fact that when you listen to couples who are quarreling, who are grieved, and they are telling their stories, many times the summary of their stories is that their expectations have not been met. Some of them, even when it is the Lord that led them quietly, it's like each time we enter into marriages, we seem to have an expectation for one another. We seem to have something we are expecting to gain or a particular habit or a particular life or a particular care or what you think such a person, your spouse, should be.

Whatever those expectations are. Now, we are going to please ask you to share with us. And the question is, when you are getting married, even though led by the Holy Spirit, you had expectations, ideas, and even aspirations of who, what, and the kind of person and the kind of things your spouse should be or do for you or to you.

So the question is, have all these expectations been met? And if not, why not? And more importantly, how has God helped you to walk through all this disappointment or fulfillment in your expectations? Please go ahead and share with us from your life experience. Thank you. God bless you.

All right. Thank you very much. We want to thank God for this opportunity.

Sincerely, we don't take it for granted. We thank God for what he has been doing since yesterday evening. And even today, the way I've been speaking to Ross.

Maybe I should ask my wife to tell us how, to tell you how long we have been married. She does better with the dates and the details. Praise the Lord.

We've been married for about 27 years now. It's about 27 years. We actually got married on the 25th of March, 1995.

Wow, more than 27 years. Thank you. Okay.

All right. Actually, for me, before I got married, I had expectations. And one of the expectations is that I've grown up to be a very basic and simple person.

Straightforward, basic. Even my training, you know, also added to that. So, I don't look for too many things.

So, because of that, I also was expecting that my wife, I haven't known her for many years. I haven't also grown up in the spiritual atmosphere around the campus. And I haven't expected that so much.

You know, she has been a member of the Central School of the University Fellowship for three consecutive years. So, I just believe that everything should work out very fast. Very simple.

But then, when we got married, at the beginning, my first expectation that is not met is that we began to have the same idea, opinions, or view, the way we look at things. And I was wondering, I just thought that the spirituality, everything should be carried over straight. And just all the help I need, you know, just for you to agree with me, and wherever I'm going, let's just be going fast, fast, fast, fast.

I've also been trained to be very fast and all of that. Now, but then, that did not work out very quickly. That's number one.

And number two, now, I now thought that, okay, maybe I could quickly make her. You know, I didn't quite initially understood very well when the Bible said, God said it is not good for a man to be alone, I will make for him. Now, I thought I could contribute to that making so that I can be fast, actually.

So, and made several attempts, but it didn't quite work. You know, and then God began to show me. And then also discipleship also helped me to begin to see that I need to relax.

I remember I didn't always tell me say, relax, relax, relax. So, and that began to help me actually. And that did not make the struggle too strenuous.

It did not make it too serious. Even though we still have differences in understanding of things or opinion of views. Now, but then God began to actually help me to begin to now appreciate, you know, what he has put in her.

And to begin to allow God to now take over the making, you know. So, but at the beginning, I must say that it was not really so, you know. So, that's the first thing I want to bring.

I don't know whether she also now want to say what her own expectation and how it was at the beginning, especially. Yes, I also had expectations. Some were spiritual, some were physical.

And for a long time, I couldn't really just accept it. Like I said the other time, it was like I met the ideal man before the real man. So, by the time I was getting married, I had a picture of who my man should be.

But I discovered that that was just my own idea. And then by the time the Lord started helping me to accept the real man. And I must confess that it took me some years to really accept the real man.

But when the Lord finally helped me, I saw that I started making progress. Now, maybe just one thing to add. Now, even in the area of submission, my own thinking and expectation initially was just that if I say yes, she will say good.

And if I say no, she will say, okay, I think I've seen it, no. But then God began to show me that what you are looking for is a yes wife. And a yes wife is never a help to any man.

So, I now began to discover that the help comes in questioning me, in asking me many things, in sometimes, you know, scrutinizing me. I say, excuse me. You know, I thought of the head.

And this head that has been scrutinized, that has been asked many questions. Now, but then, two things God did to me. Number one, God kept reminding me of the message that was preached on our wedding day.

That message was preached by Uncle Peter Osodo. Then I was a missionary with Capro, and he was our executive secretary. Now, and out of many things he said, he said, when he was reading that Ephesians chapter 5. Now, he said it was starting from verse 22 that says, why submit unto your own husband.

It started from 21. It says, submitting one to another in the fear of God. And this was how he demonstrated it that day.

I kept seeing it like a vision. He said, if they want to submit to this man, for them to become one. He said, it means that each of them must be bending, bending, bending, in order for them to become one.

But if one is standing straight like this, or if it's this one that is standing straight like this, that it will not work. So before he will even go on to why submitting, he said the first submission, the first level of submission is submitting one to another in the fear of God. Now, that kept challenging my thoughts.

That kept helping my thoughts every time that there is a difference in opinion, or we didn't see something the same way. Now, it kept helping me, you know. Now, and then secondly, I also mentioned the issue of discipleship.

I first listened to Brideville in 1987 while on campus. Now, but then it was in 1990 that God particularly showed me, say, pursue this man. That was the way God said it.

Say, pursue this man. And his first input into our marriage was even before the marriage. Now, they came for an LDG, Last Days Gathering, organized by Capro in 1992.

Already I was a missionary with Capro then. And after he finished preaching his last message, and they were just about to enter the bus, now I approached him and said, sir, can I speak to you? So two of us went and sat in a classroom. And then out of several things he told me, he made an input into our marriage, even before the marriage.

He explained some things to me that I don't have time to share. But then that helped me also, and that continued to help me to seek for more and more of such guidance. So by then we became Peace House Park in 1998.

Now, it granted us a closer opportunity of discipleship. Now, one good thing that discipleship has done for us is that as a couple, when you have somebody that you both respect and you both listen to, my wife, she has been following his messages so much that when we go to Peace House, if media are looking for a message, and they can't find it, they come to our library. So she has listened and all of that, but now translating it into practical reality.

Now, granted us opportunity of discipleship when we came. And that also has been a great help. Thank you very much.

Are you following? Did you enjoy that? Now, the principle that we are learning from there is the fact that from where he has quoted Genesis 2.18, which God has again been emphasizing to us, even in today's Bible study, we saw that that was the first thing we saw there, that it is God that makes marriages. And so many times our expectations, sometimes we go even to the extent of trying to make one another. And I know, even from my own personal experience and from some of you here, even those of us that are white, many, how many times we go and look for Bible passages during devotions.

There are many devotions that end in quarrel. Because the man of God has armed himself with a particular passage that he's using to knock the head of the wife. And many times, our wives are sensitive to that.

And until we end up in argument. But what we are seeing is that all this while, God is the one that says, I will make. And what that means is that I will make a health suitable.

And our brother said that one of his expectations, quietly, which God helped him to correct, was that even his idea of submission was a yes wife. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. Can you imagine if that's the kind of wife God gives you? So quietly, he disdained our analytics, our intuitiveness, our ability to want to get to the real matter so she can be of help to him. But we thank God that over the years, as they enter discipleship, they have followed the word of God.

And it is working out. And you can see that God is making a profit out of that marriage. They have not given up.

And just to say that God is still at work. Now, I will quickly ask them another question. Before our time is up.

I know that we are very limited time. Now, this is very trickish, but because it's a problem. Now, several couples, when they get married, and they encounter severe attitudinal shocks, shocks from the attitude they were not expecting to meet, especially over things that are very important to them in life.

Now, what aspects of each other's responses to situations have been a shock to you in one another's life in an attitude or behavior or the way she has handled the matter, or he has handled a particular issue that you presented that has been a shock to you. And how have you overcome such shocks of your, you know, perception of how she behaved over this matter over that matter, or vice versa, we do want to talk about that the issue of, you know, not this surprise I'm not expecting you to to behave like this. And all of that you want to talk about that briefly.

Thank you. Well, like I've been got to say, part of the shocks, you know, together also with the expectation. Now, is that the way I've known her for many years, and we are related on campus, and all of that.

I didn't ever think that she would be able to have the strength to query me, or to scrutinize me or to even argue with me. You know muscle that back on campus we are like the big brothers, and they were the leaders. So they are like our disciples.

So but then I have to now know that marriage is not the same as that God has brought in somebody that has the life. And this help, I can only receive it. If I also first come to myself, you know, so whatever was actually shock to me eventually became treasure that I was now able to add to be able to tap.

For example, I've told you that I grew up to be very busy very very busy for she grew up, and we got my machine is very detailed, so much that for me the details sometimes could be almost offensive. But can I tell you today that those details are become assets, you know, even as we labor in the work of God together. Now, those details that I was complaining about, those details have become what has helped us in the labor, put the labor together.

Sometimes I only need an if I need an information. Now, she will bring even more than information, because she arranges things she knows how to organize, so she has also helped my own life, I have my own organization actually. So whatever would have become the shocks that I was seeing at the initial actually became like the treasure that I'm now tapping.

I want to thank God for discipleship like I keep saying. Now I remember that sister Shade gave a teaching on tapping God's resources in your wife, you know, and was showing how we need to humble ourselves as husband, in order for these resources and treasure in the wife to be received, to be tapped. Now all of that sincerely has helped us in our 20 years of 27 years of marriage now.

And whatever we are becoming, even though we are still moving, we are still a far way off, we are still trusting God. But whatever we have become today, that we are even able to challenge other of our disciples that are couples, they follow us. Now, discipleship has helped, you know, and God has opened our eyes.

My eye in particular, to see that several things I complain about are rather treasures that I should help her to develop, I should help her to fine tune, and then finally I should be the beneficiary of that treasure. And now even as we are in Uganda, you know, ministers, sometimes she preaches and they will say, your wife. Now, I'm now becoming the, in fact, last Sunday, we are somewhere and I told, I said the woman that came to your church on Monday, she's my wife, she's my wife.

I was very happy. And the man said, ah, she spoke to us, we have told her she needs to come back. Now, I can boldly say, now, this thing that God has put in her has actually helped our labor, helped our ministry, helped our wife, helped even our children, you know, in everything.

So that is what I want to say. I don't know whether she wants to say something about the shocks. Like I said, I met the ideal man before the real man, and the Lord helped me through.

Now, two ways God helped me to overcome my expectations. Two ways God helped me to overcome my expectations. First, he melted some of those expectations away from my heart.

I didn't see them so weighty the way I saw them initially. So just for instance, to give a practical example, I love to see my husband dress in English way. I love him in suit and tie and all of that, because when we first got engaged, he was an engineer, he had a big office and, you know, so that polished aspect, I've always loved it all my life.

So by the time when I get technically in marriage, he has become a missionary, what does he do with suit and tie on the mission field? And people who know my husband very well know that he uses a lot of, he dresses a lot like the northerners. And a few times I complained, but then with time God helped me and all those things were melted away. I remember even in the issue of ring, the first ring we had, got lost, I got another one.

After a while he said he was no longer interested. I tried and tried, but I had to give up. You wouldn't believe it that you cannot have a ring.

God actually changed him in that area. And that was a testimony for another day. So I discovered that God worked in both ways, both to melt the expectations and just make it just simple.

And then at the same time, working on him, that was how God, that's how God has been helping us. I don't know whether you appreciate this last bit. And you know, the fact that many times what we see in our spouse is not exactly what we think they should be to us or what we want, or they are not exactly like us.

And that has brought us to see the matter of the, the male and the female of one another. That's what our brother is just sharing. That when he married his wife newly, he only discovered that she asked too much questions.

She's too diligent. She's too worried about details. When she asked her to do things, you'll be asking her, so how are we going to do it? How about this? How about that? You know, those kinds of things.

I'm sure there are several men here listening and watching who may, this may be a particular problem to them, but he has come to identify that as her peculiarity. Maybe the peculiarity of being a woman, of being a female. Many times we want to make a male out of our wife.

And like our father in the Lord will normally tell us when he's teaching us that we should, we men should not try to make a woman, a female out of their husband, because our roles are complementary. And maybe to end at this point, we may not be able to take another testimony, is to ask us to take what our brother Patrick and his wife has just left with us. You know, the seminar they presented towards the end, they measured that particularity, that, sorry, peculiarity of noting that there are differences between a male and a female in the way they behave, in the way they respond.

And all of those things, they are not for disadvantages, they are to our advantages. And especially, he recommended a book there, No More Two. We would wish that every couple participating in these retreats to grab a copy.

If you cannot even get hard copy where you are, you can buy it online. It's online in the Amazon. No More Two, God's Principles for an Enduring Marriage by Brother Billy Akane.

There is a particular chapter that views and tries to analyze for us experiences. You may find some of the things that are peculiar to the female, are peculiar to our wives, that God may want us to maximize and tap. Thank you very much, sir, for taking your time, for sharing your life with us.

God, we continue to honor that marriage and continue to be a testimony. Your marriage will continue to speak volumes in the name of Jesus. Now, I'm sorry that we have come to the end of this practical discussion.

It's meant to be very short and very practical. We trust the Lord that God will help us to come at it again tomorrow, and he would have provided another couple for us. I would like us to bow down our heads and pray at this time.

Would you want to talk to the Lord and say, Lord, whatever it will take to reach out to me, I'm in the need of a miracle. Lord, as you have done it for the online cast, Lord, please do it for me. Whatever it is, whatever insights, whatever more revelation I need to get that will position my marriage for fruitfulness, please release it to me in the name of Jesus.

Please pray like that. Our marriage is going to be speaking in the days ahead. That's what we have just discovered.

Our marriage itself must be a voice, and that's why God is insisting on setting it right. Please pray together with me now. Father, thank you.

We give you all the glory today. Thank you for giving us testimonies, giving us lives. Marriages that are done, Lord, the truth that you are teaching us.

We have lives, oh God, that you have quietly, Lord, made that can be a testimony that your word works. We are grateful for the online cast. We ask, oh God, that as a result, as the outcome of this meeting, this retreat, we will have more lives that will be able to stand in the presence of God.

We will stand in various places to showcase the efficacy of your truth, Lord, especially as regards to our homes in the name of Jesus. Thank you, Father, for hearing us. For in Jesus' name, we have prayed.

Amen.