God's pattern for marriage

Let's read in Genesis, please, in chapter two, Genesis chapter two, and we'll read verse seven and eight. Genesis two, verse seven and eight says, And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and man became a living soul. The Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden, and there he put the man whom he had formed.

Verse 15, And the Lord took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to dress it and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying of every tree of the garden, thou mayest freely eat, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it. For in the day that thou eatest thereof, thou shalt surely die.

And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone. I will make for him a help meet or suitable for him. And the Lord God says he out of the ground, the Lord God formed every man of the field, sorry, every beast of the field and every fowl of the air and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them.

And whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all the cattle, the fowl of the air, every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found and help meet for him.

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof. And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.

She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother and cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh. And they both were naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Now, let's read in Ephesians chapter five quickly, Ephesians chapter five, and we'll read from verse twenty one Ephesians chapter five and verse twenty one says, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God, why submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord for the husband is ahead of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. He is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of the word of water by the word that he might present it to himself, a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself, for no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it even as the Lord, the church, where we are members of his body and of his flesh and of his bones.

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular love his wife even as himself.

And the wife see that she reverence her husband. So briefly, for a few minutes this morning, I would like to consider God's divine design for the ages. You were at the conference last week and start to remember there was a looking back to what God had established as far as assembly testimony is concerned.

Well, what I have upon my heart in mind this morning is this is looking at God's pattern for marriage. And of course, this is going to be very brief, but it is something that needs to be taught because society today does not establish morals established. It does not give us bearings in our life.

It is a word of God that does that. It is men who take the word of God in hand to speak and to teach who are going to go over again the things that God has established for mankind. And and marriage is definitely one of those things.

Marriage, the union between one man and one woman, is not a sacrament or institution of churches. It is not just a ritual of religions, but this is a divine institution established in the beginning, even from creation. God designed one man and one woman to be joined together.

And we're going to consider briefly the purpose of this. And one of the things that really got me thinking about this is it is the oldest of all human relationships, if we could put it that way. Of course, there's been a relationship that is eternal between God, the father, God, the son and God, the spirit.

And then we see the relationship between God and the man that he creates. And then what we see is the relationship between humans is between a man and his wife. Before there is ever a relationship between parents and their children or children towards their parents, there is a relationship between a man and his wife.

And I think there's a lesson that is learned from that. So you could really put things in the order of importance and priority in our life. And I say this because sometimes these are not seen in the order that are given in the word of God.

First and foremost, there must be a relationship with God. That is the very first relationship that we see in the Bible. Humanly speaking, it is a relationship between the creator and the created, between God and man.

And that ought to be the priority in each and every one of our lives, that relationship with God. Of course, that is only possible through the person of the Lord Jesus Christ. And as we try to speak in the gospel, that is the very purpose of our being.

The reason that we were created by God is to have a relationship with him, to be worshippers of God. And of course, sin has come in and sin has has wrought so much damage. But God, through the person of Christ, is reconciling men and women back to himself with this very purpose that we might have a relationship with him.

Thank God that we can have a relationship with the creator of this vast universe. And that relationship ought to be the priority in our lives before any other relationship. And I say that very carefully.

But God deserves first place in our life, in his purpose for us, though his purpose might be that we are married, that we have children, that we have employees and whatnot. Our relationship with God must be the priority of our life. That is how God has established it.

That is what is established in the beginning, the relationship between the creator and his creature, man. But then we have the relationship between a husband and his wife. And that is what I'd like to speak about briefly this morning.

Thirdly of all, we have the relationship between parents and their children. And then the Bible establishes a relationship between master and servants. And I would take it that there is an order there in order of priority.

With God first, then with our husband and wife, then our relationship with children, and then our relationship with our employees, if there be. Interesting, in six days, God creates all things. He makes them perfect.

We read that here in Genesis day one, Genesis one, three, God made the light and he said it was good. Verse 10, the third day, dry land in the seas. It was good.

The third day, every plant and tree, God says it was good. The fourth day, the light, the sun, the moon, the stars. It was good.

The fifth day, the birds and the sea life. And it was good on the sixth day. He makes man and all the land animals.

But you come down to chapter two in verse 18 and it says it was not good. You see, God did not make a mistake. There wasn't something that was made wrong or bad, but really because there was something that was missing in all of God's creation.

It is not good that man should be alone. And it is not until Eve is built and presented to the man that God can say in conclusion, it is very good. But you notice the detail that is given.

It's not that just simply that God for man of the dust of the ground, as he did with all the land animals and so on. But he goes back again in chapter two to go over how this all came about. God's working in making man of the dust of the ground and breathing into his nostrils a breath of life.

But then we read those words that there was not a help meet suitable answering to man, a help fit for him. And that is where we see God recognizing the need of a help beat for the man. I appreciate this because God makes man as a social creature.

First of all, as I've said, to have a relationship with him, communication with God. But God recognizes a need that man would have a relationship with one like him. Someone who could be his companion.

This marriage relationship, of course, it is going to be for procreation as God would use man and man and the woman to to populate the earth, his creation. It was a relationship that was made for mutual pleasure, and it was a relationship that was made, really, I take it. So that the work of God could be carried out on earth.

Man is ahead, man is a responsible one to carry out God's work, but there is someone that is going to help him do it. Fulfill God's purpose for him. I help meet for him.

We notice that it is a special relationship because it is of a bone taken out of Adam's side, a rib, as it says, rib and flesh, bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh. It speaks to us of the intimacy of this relationship. It speaks to us of the oneness of this relationship, as it's as Adam would have to confess, bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh.

Literally speaking, the woman that God built was built not of the dust of the ground. Now, sometimes as men, maybe we do need to be reminded, listen, you're just dust. But women, they were made of bone, right? Something a little bit more than dust.

But, you know, it speaks to us of the special purpose of God in taking of his flesh. To create, to build the woman, to be presented to him, something that is taken from the man, that the two might be one flesh, and that is the reality of marriage that I take it today, when there is a commitment that is taken upon ourselves in the day that we are married, two individual people in the eyes of God become one flesh. Two different people, but one new entity, a new relationship, an intimate relationship, a new relationship of headship and submission.

That is why we read of leaving the home of father and mother. And it's interesting you read that when Adam had no earthly father and mother, but it tells us that is establishing something for the ages from the very beginning. God's purpose is this, that men would leave their father's house.

That relationship of subjection to them. To form a new entity, a new family, a new order of headship and submission. Two people becoming one flesh.

To fulfill the purposes of God in this earth, there are Old Testament pictures and principles and lessons to be learned, but really, they fall short, don't they? It isn't until we come to the New Testament that we get the fullness of the teaching of what marriage is according to God's eyes. You look at the relationship between Abraham and Sarah, we can learn of submission, we can learn of obedience, maybe even things that shouldn't have been done, but Sarah was submissive to her husband. You come to the relationship between Isaac and Rebecca, you do relieve, you do read of love and you read of comfort.

The same, I would take it for Jacob and his wife, there was love and there was sacrifice, wasn't there? You come to Boaz and Ruth and you read of duty and you read of grace, and certainly there are pictures that are given to us in the Old Testament. But the fullness of it or the prime, the greatest example of all is a person of the Lord Jesus, isn't he? As a one that we would seek to model our marriages after, and that is why we took the time to read in Ephesians chapter five, as Paul gives teaching. And again, he goes back to the beginning, back to creation where marriage is established in these very same words.

As they come out again, it helps us to understand this is God's plan for the ages. And I'll take time just to say it. Marriage is honorable.

The Bible tells us Hebrews chapter 13, that marriage is honorable in all. This is God's purpose, God's design, with a few exceptions. There are those who are happy, content to be single, and we do not think little of these people.

If God has called them to that, thank God, but speaking in general terms, the purpose of God is as the union between one man and one woman. Marriage is honorable in all, but the Bible tells us and the bed on the file, but fornicators and adulterers, God will judge. You know, when we consider Satan and all his.

His subtlety. Peter reminds us. He says, be sober, be vigilant, be serious and be awake, because your adversary as a roaring lion goeth about seeking whom he may devour in anything that gives glory to God is coming under attack.

That is why there is a need for teaching to believers on an individual basis, as he would attack our personal testimony. And he attacks God's assembly as it is God's assembly to give glory to God, and it comes under his attack. And just the same for marriage as something that God himself has designed, it is most assuredly going to come under the attack of Satan.

God says a union between one man and one woman, Satan says there's no need for a union. It can be one man with multiple women or one woman with multiple men or one man with another man or one woman with another woman. And Satan is undermining the word of God.

Can I tell you, friends, this morning, I think, you know, this everything that God does, first of all, is for his glory. But what he got, what he does for for man, it is for his own good and blessing and happiness. And if we want to be happy, then we need to follow God's plan, whether that is individually or collectively as assembly or in our marriage life to follow God's plan.

That is the only way we are going to be happy. And yet the world says, no, that is not happiness. One man with one woman and a commitment for life and love.

But friend, following God's plan is the one who knows the very best and wants the very best for us. That is going to be for our blessing. When God brought Eve to Adam, it was for his blessing because God knew what he needed is not good.

That man should be alone. God is the one that moved. God is the one that built the woman and brings him to the man for mutual blessing and benefit and happiness.

And I say this because I know the society that we live in. And there are likely young people saved or unsaved. Let me tell you, this marriage is God's design for those who are saved and for those who aren't.

But for those who are here today are constantly bombarded by this idea. You know, you don't have to be married. I'm going to tell you, this is what is going to make you happy.

This is God's design for you. And sadly, society says, no, that's not right. But I take the time this morning to tell you whether you are saved or whether you're not, whether you are a young believer today.

This is God's plan for you, for his glory and for your blessing. We come to the example of the Lord Jesus Christ, his relationship with the church, as it is manifest, as it is made known in all of its fullness. We read of our responsibility as husbands here three times over.

Husbands love your wives. Yes. Three times over.

Wives submit yourselves to your husbands. Time isn't going to allow, but simply this. Can I tell you that marriage is a commitment? That love is not an emotion.

Love is a decision. People today talk about falling in love as if it was something that is uncontrollable. And it is wonderful to be a young person and to be attracted to another young person and to want to be with that person and enjoy that person.

But, you know, there is somewhat of a fog when a person is young and, as we would say in love, is not seeing things clearly. And if we're honest, we likely say, yes, we said we were all in love and we got married. But, you know, it's after you get married, you start to see the faults and failures in the other person.

Does that mean we can't carry on? Does that mean this is the end of it? Well, there's a commitment that is made to love that person. And despite of her cutting her fingernails in the car or not fixing the house, that is not reason enough to say, I don't want to carry on. Because love, in the word that is used here, it is a decision, it is an attitude, it is the same word that God uses toward us.

That despite all of our fault and failure and sin and rebellion, God loves us and he sent his son to save us. God decided to love us. Well, he is love.

We know that. But a decision on his part. And when we come to marriage, it is a commitment on our part to love that person.

In particular, speaking to men, the well-being of the other person in mind of my wife. You see, love in the Bible is not something that is selfish. It is something that is giving.

And if we come into marriage thinking this is all for me. Then soon there's going to be a problem because it can't be all for me on both parties. But our responsibility as men is this, as we read to love our wives, this is a self-sacrificing love.

This is an attitude of giving, not an emotion that is going to come and go, but a commitment that is made. I am going to love this person, as we say in our vows, in good and bad, in health and sickness, for better or worse. That is our responsibility given by God as men, and we take our character, our example from the person of the Lord Jesus.

Christ loved the church and he gave himself for it. I know that there are difficulties in marriage, and I don't know how many times you've heard teaching on marriage. I know that is necessary, it's not a given that all Christians automatically come into a perfect relationship, we're imperfect people.

Two personalities that come together to make a new home and there are going to be conflicts and difficulties. But listen, our attitude as men ought to be this, the well-being of our wives, that is, her needs, the verse 29, it says, to nourish, to cherish, to love. Those are the three words our responsibility as men today, to love is a sacrificing love, the well-being of other people in mind, of our wife.

Her well-being physically, emotionally, spiritually and so on. Sometimes we're happy because there's a roof over her head and food to eat and she has to be happy with that. There's more to it than that.

There's more to her needs than that. She has a spiritual needs as a head of the house. I am responsible to meet her needs.

You notice it doesn't say our relationship with her is that of lords. But heads, there's a difference. Christ is our individual Lord, the supreme authority of our lives, but we are not lords over our wives.

We are heads of the household. We give direction. Yes, we are responsible for that house.

We're responsible to provide for the needs. Christ does that for his church. He provides for the needs of the church.

That is our responsibility. The word nourish is to support, to feed the fat to bring up in other contexts. To nourish means to keep warm.

So you see, the needs of the woman are to be met by the man. That is our responsibility. God given.

Self-sacrificing and loving her, seeing her needs and providing for them. Spiritually, physically, emotionally and so on. As far as the relationship with the woman, the wife and her responsibility to submission, and I'm not going to go into this.

This morning, as time has gone and I tell you, if we love our lives as we ought to be, a lot easier for them to submit themselves to us. I know we do not live in an ideal world and I know there are going to be people that say, well, what about this and what about this? And listen, if we are fulfilling our responsibility as men today, it is not going to be difficult for them. Is it if we love them like Christ, I'll close with these words that we we have here again, verse twenty five of Ephesians five, husbands love your wives, even as Christ also love the church.

And gave himself for it. God's design for the ages.