Testimony - Part 5

...giving out noodles, but is there someone who cares for me? She died, the mother of those children. I had eventually helped her to get some money through the government. She waited for six months and eventually she got a little, it would be the equivalent of your $20 a month, and they called her to them and said, you've had this long enough, she'd already had it for three months, now you should be out at work supporting yourself.

And she said, but I've got a cost. And she went to see the doctor and she said, I've got a cost, and he gave her some medicine, and the following week she died of TB. And when I got to hear that, I hadn't been there.

The children found me later. I just cried because she didn't need to die. She never needed to die.

I could have sent her to a doctor. There are doctors and there are mission doctors, and she could have lived. I just hadn't gone to visit her for about a month.

She died. And then the children came to me and they said, we'd like to come and live with you. Because our father beats us, and he molested the eldest girl, she's 14.

She was working in a factory by this time. And I said, no, you just can't do that. The law won't allow it.

You just can't come and live with me. And they said, please send us to a home. And I said, I can't send you to a home.

You have to do it through the welfare. You have to do it through the social welfare. And a few weeks later, there was a knock on the door, and they had turned up anyway.

The eldest girl had packed up all the children's things. And brought them to live with me. And they said, we've come to live at the church.

That was my house. So what could we do? Of course, we took them in. The father had been molesting that girl.

So we took them in. And they lived with us and became part of our family. Later on, we found other people that would care for them.

And they stayed with us for about a year. It's all right. It is all right.

The story has a happy ending. Most of all, happy because the mother is with Jesus. She's in that place where she knows perfect healing.

And her children, they all know Jesus too. And the father, well, I think maybe not yet. But at least his eldest daughter has forgiven him because she knows Jesus.

So he is free to receive healing himself and the love of the Lord Jesus. We understood that you preach in word and you preach in deed. But I needed to know that you preach with signs and miracles by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Trouble was, in Hong Kong, they didn't talk about it. You're very blessed here because you're in a fellowship where people love Jesus and expect him to be doing the things that he did when he was on earth. And you're expecting him to do them for you.

I sort of expected that too. I just couldn't find anyone who believed it. And until I walked into a little chapel one night and I saw two Chinese people, they were a young couple.

And I just took one look at them and I thought, ah, they've got it. I didn't know what it was they got, but I knew they got it. So I went up to them at the end of the service and they took one look at me and they said, you haven't got the Holy Spirit.

And I said, yes I have. And they said, no you haven't. And I said, yes I have.

You see, I know the scripture. I couldn't believe in Jesus unless I had the Holy Spirit. And they said, you don't have the Holy Spirit.

And I said, yes I have. And this argument went on for a long time. And the more we argued, the more I thought, I know I'm right.

Of course I was right. There would be no way that I could know Jesus except through the Holy Spirit. Of course.

But I also knew as long as we were arguing that they had something I didn't. Something that I wanted. I knew I needed power from the Holy Spirit.

My problem was I just didn't know what you called it. I didn't know whether it was the baptism of the Spirit or the fullness of the Spirit or the infilling of the Spirit or the outpouring of the Spirit or the gift of the Spirit. I just was in a muddle, you know.

So finally I said, okay God, I quit arguing. If you have anything, anything at all that will help me share Jesus, of course I want it. And I'll sort out what to call it later.

So I went to pray with them the next day. And this couple is extremely noisy. I mean really noisy.

Because they said grace in tongues, you know. I mean I was so embarrassed. And I didn't get any feeling of great joy or anything.

And I just really wanted to go home. And they said when I got to the door, oh by the way they said, now you can expect the other gifts, you know, gifts of healing and interpretation and miracles and prophecy and so on. And I said, thank you so much.

And I went home to wait. And in the next few weeks, you know, the healing didn't turn up. And I didn't know how you knew if you'd got prophecy or anything.

And I thought, well this is a washout. You know, this really is. I thought this was going to be the answer to everything.

Because, you know, I'd walked down streets in the walled city and you could see a hundred people taking drugs all at one time. There's a particular way that they mostly took it in those days, which is called chasing a dragon, which is inhaling heroin over silver paper. You inhale it through a toilet roll or a matchbox.

And I could see the streets, I mean literally four of these people. And I knew they were dying. And if they didn't die themselves, they'd kill their mothers.

Because they had to rob from their mothers or even beat them in order to get enough money to live by. Or else they'd live off their girlfriends. Little things, age 13 and 14, who had to sell their bodies to support their men.

And I had said, God, it would be worth my whole life if you'd use me to save just one. You know, and I thought, that person was the Holy Spirit. Now I can go around the den putting my hands on them and they'll all be healed.

That didn't work. And it was a whole year later that I met some Americans. And the first thing they asked me, although they were terribly rude, was, Jackie, do you pray in tongues? I mean, in England you don't even talk about it, let alone ask that question.

So I said, no, I don't actually. And they said, why not? And I said, well, well, it doesn't do much for me, actually. You know, I received it, but I think I got something different from everyone else, you know, because I didn't get any clouds.

I didn't get any joy. I didn't float around on clouds, you know, no mountain tops, none of that. I didn't get the glory.

I didn't feel full of love. And they said, you're extremely rude. They said, you're a person who believes in Scripture, believe in it.

You know what it says in 1 Corinthians 14, that if you pray in the Spirit, you will be edified. You will be built up spiritually. And they said, you got it wrong, girls.

This is a gift of the Spirit. It's not a gift of emotion. Whatever made you get it wrong, use it.

It doesn't matter what you feel. You use this every day. The Lord gave power to you to preach the gospel.

It's what the power of the Holy Spirit's for. So use what you have, and he will use you. So I did it every day by the clock.

And it was hard work, and I didn't have any emotion. Really, I didn't have any mountain tops or clouds, or I didn't float around in love, none of that. It was just an exercise, and I did it by the clock.

And it was about six weeks after that that I found that everyone I talked to about Jesus believed. Terribly simple. I talked to these gangsters, and they'd fall down in the streets and accept Jesus into their hearts.

And I thought, well, you know, my Chinese got terribly good. And then I thought, you know, suddenly I'm saying it all right. And then I thought, you know, I'm saying exactly the same things as I was saying before.

You know what the difference was? The difference was that that was the first time in my life I was letting God in.