Blessed Are The Peacemakers

Good morning. Let's turn to Matthew chapter 5. I was thinking about, in the Sunday school time, another way that we can... Ben asked the question, how can we deliver or stay away from hypocrisy in our own lives? And one thought came to me is that, you know, we put a lot of emphasis in this church on lust. And we talk constantly about our thoughts and how we need to bounce our thoughts and bounce our eyes and all these things as something comes into our heart.

And I think we try to work on that really hard. Well, one thing we can do for hypocrisy is the same idea. When those thoughts come in, where we start to wonder what this person thinks of us or that person thinks of us, we can bounce our thoughts.

We can bounce our thoughts to God instead. And remind ourselves that it matters more what God thinks than what they think of us. And we can become disciplined in that way.

That can help us. Matthew 5, let's sing it this morning. We're going to sing Matthew 5, 1 through... Where does it end there? 12.

Are you all ready? If you don't know it, just hum along. Or try to say it because you might know it by memory. All right, Matthew 5, 1. And seeing the multitude, he went up into a mountain.

And when he was set, his disciples came unto him. And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying, Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God. Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Repeat that. For theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye when men shall revile you and persecute you and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely for my sake.

Rejoice and be exceeding glad, for great is your reward in heaven. For so persecuted they the prophets which were before you. Thank you.

So as you know, we're preaching through the Beatitudes. It comes from that Latin word, beatus, which means blessed. And it's more than just happy.

It's more like an enviable state. Someone who you look at and just say, it just seems to work out well for them. And we've looked at many of them.

We've looked at poor in spirit, as we just sang, and seeing ourselves as a zero, humbling ourselves. We've looked at mourn. Blessed are they at mourn.

The idea of really coming to an end of ourselves in an emotional way, in a way that we see our sins. And it goes on. Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness.

So many of these different things we've been looking at. And today we come to, last time we looked at, blessed are the pure in heart. We talked about what you take in, comes out ultimately.

And today we're going to look at, blessed are the peacemakers. Blessed are the peacemakers. Now I want you to imagine, we've been trying to imagine what it would be like to be hearing the Sermon on the Mount for the first time out there.

And Jesus is teaching his disciples, people that are truly following him. And the rest is listening. And he says this, blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.

Now that must've been pretty weird for them to hear when you stop and think about it. To hear that the Messiah, the one they've been planning to come, which they thought was going to deliver them from the oppression of Rome, that they thought of him as this great military man. He goes on and says, blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.

I want to tell a little story here from the Bible. There was a woman, it said she was beautiful and she was very wise. My wife pointed out, that doesn't happen a lot in the Bible where it says both things, but she was beautiful and she was very wise.

I guess it's possible. And her husband owned 3,000 sheep. Her husband owned 3,000 sheep and 1,000 goats.

Her husband's name was Nabal. He was one day shearing his sheep and David was out with his men and he heard that, I think he had around 300 men. He heard that David was out shearing his sheep and that Nabal was out shearing his sheep and he sent some men over and he said, I hear you're shearing your sheep.

I'd like, if you would please bless our men with some food, whatever you have, just would you help feed some of our men? Nabal had a pretty rude answer. He said this, who is this David? Who is the son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. Can you imagine? Why should I take my bread and my water and my meat that I've slaughtered for my shearers and give them to men coming from who knows where? Now imagine that, those people heard that, I'm sure that made them pretty upset.

They went back and they told David and David was not happy about what he heard. He took 100 of his men and he started heading for that way and even said, the Lord do so to me by tomorrow evening if all of their men are not dead. 100 men with swords.

He started marching over there for Nabal and his household. The servants came along and they told, Abigail was her name, Nabal's wife. They said, your husband just berated David, insulted him and David's men have been very good to us all the while we've been out in the fields.

They've protected us. They've been even like a wall around us to protect us. They told her, see what you can do because disaster is hanging over Nabal's house.

This is what they said. He is such a wicked man. No one can talk to him.

By the way, Nabal's, his name actually meant fool. Which he lived out. Abigail quickly got 200 loaves of bread.

Can you imagine how long that would take to cook? 200 loaves of bread, wine, she dressed out five sheep, five measures of grain, 100 clusters of raisins and 200 pressed figs. She loaded those all up and she beheaded to go meet David. David was on his way with his men and he was telling his men how useless it was to be protecting these shepherds all these years because Nabal was paying him back with evil instead of good.

So he was going to kill these men. As she came up, she came to him. I think maybe she fell on her face, on her knees and the first thing she said was she took the blame.

She said, forgive your handmaid. Now I can imagine taking the blame for such a fool as Nabal but she took the blame. She said, David, please forgive me.

She then blessed David. She told David that God has watched over your life. She asked him to remember him, her when he was blessed by becoming the king later.

Later she told Nabal that evening, she told Nabal all the, or the next morning that she told Nabal all the things that happened and said his heart became like a stone and he became like a stone and they say he probably had a stroke and then 10 days later he died. But Abigail was a very wise woman and she was also a peacemaker. This story illustrates somebody who stepped into action, didn't just avoid conflict but stepped in to bring about peace.

Now what is this word? Peacemaker is actually a compound Greek word. It's actually made up of the word peace which is all over. The main New Testament word, I think it's translated something like 68 times, the main word for peace and then maker is to do or to create.

It's put together peacemaker. It's a very rare word in that form in the New Testament. It's only one time in the New Testament and one other time like a sister word of it is used where it says Christ made peace by the blood of his cross.

So the main word for peace here is kind of the idea it would be translated from the Greek, from the Hebrew, sorry, as shalom. That's how they would translate it over into this Greek word and it could have three general categories. First of all, we could have inner peace.

We're inside our soul. We're at rest. We're calm.

We're not running around with anxiety and stressed out. We could say we have a settled heart. We're trusting.

We're calm. A second would be the word could be used in a relational, a physical relational peace. So maybe Caleb and I are struggling and we're having tension between us and so this word could be used when we have no hostility.

We have no conflict or even between nations if the two nations are not at peace or at peace. It could be used in that way and then last it can be used in a spiritual sense and that is when we can have peace even though we might have conflict all around us but we have peace with God. We've been reconciled to him and we know that we're his children and so we're calm and we're tranquil and we're at rest even though we might be being killed we're at peace.

So inner peace, physical relational peace this way and spiritual peace with God. The word maker I said as earlier it means to make, to do, to bring forth and so it literally was translated peace maker. Now this word is an active word.

It's not passive and I hope we can get this. It's not passive. It's not a conflict avoider.

Maybe you're sitting here this morning thinking I think I'm a peacemaker and really maybe you're just a conflict avoider. Maybe you don't like conflict and so you do whatever you can to keep conflict away and to avoid it. That's not actually a peacemaker.

That's a conflict avoider. So peacemakers have the courage this is what's different of a conflict avoider and a peacemaker. Peacemakers have the courage to step into conflict.

Conflict avoiders say where can I go to be away from it? I won't say anything. I'll keep my mouth shut. I'll walk away.

I don't want conflict but peacemakers step into conflict to create peace. They look at ways to bring solutions to bring peace. They're wanting to change things for the better.

They don't use aggression or violence. Now you probably heard the word peacekeeper. You know the UN they go in there with their peacekeepers.

They've got guns. They're going to keep the peace. They use aggression and violence to keep the peace.

Their idea is to keep the status quo. Whatever it is now we don't care if you get along. We just care that you stop hurting each other.

That's a peacekeeper. A peacemaker has a different goal. It's to bring restoration.

It's to bring restitution. And so it might mean that they have to say some hard things. A peacemaker might have to actually say some things that ultimately bring across peace.

They might have to speak the truth but they do it with love. They need to have their speech with grace seasoned with salt. Now this is also not talking about peaceful people.

It's not just saying, oh he's at peace. Blessed are the people that are at peace. That are calm.

Who don't run around in anxiety. No, it's not talking about that. It says peacemaker.

It's somebody that is trying to fix problems. Trying to bring about peace. One that is actively trying to reconcile people to God and to one another.

Austin sang a bunch of songs. His heart was for us to sing about salvation and going out and proclaiming the gospel. And that's what a peacemaker is doing actually.

If he's in a spiritual sense, he's thinking about this gap. This wall between people and God and he's looking for ways to bring that down. To reconcile people to God.

But another thing he does is he looks for walls between people and tries to bring that wall down. And so we learned here that blessed are these kind of people. The kind of people that are actively trying to make peace.

It goes on in the verse and says, they shall be called children of God. Now that's the, I don't know if you want to call it a promise or what comes from when we're this way. It reminds me of Matthew 5 verse 44.

It says this, Jesus said, but I say to you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you. And then he says this, that you may be the children of your father, which is in heaven. And then it goes on to explain, because God, he makes rain fall on good people and bad people.

And so Jesus says, just several verses later in the same chapter, he says to love your enemies, to bless them so that you can be called children of God. The same concept as a peacemaker. Have you ever wondered, am I a Christian? I've wondered that many times.

Am I really a Christian? Do I really know God? Am I really his child? Jesus is telling you right now what your life should look like if you are truly a Christian. He's not telling you do these things and then you'll be a Christian. He's telling you if you are a Christian, this is what your life should look like.

Now it would be tempting to read the Beatitudes and come away with it as suggestions, right? Like blessed are the peacemakers. And so if I get around to it, maybe I'll be a peacemaker or that's for Austin to be a peacemaker, but that's just not my gift in the church. But that's not what Jesus is teaching here.

He's saying that if you want to be known as a child of God, if you want to be a child of God, then you need to be having this flowing through you. It's not a suggestion. It's what God is.

And if you're a Christian, you're trying to become more like God. That's your desire. And so when it says, you should be called the children of God, it's kind of like, well, how could I say this? How many of you all know when I have an itch in my throat, what do I do? I do this all weird noise.

And it's become so normal to me that I don't even think twice about it. But all of you think that is strange. Well, you get around my children, what do they do? You ever notice they make that sound? I've heard some people say, Jeremy, you make so many expressions with your face.

And then I've heard them say, oh, your children do too, right? It's not too long. I've even heard people say that there's a king smell about us. I don't know what it is.

I hope it's good. But I don't know if it's the laundry detergent we use. I think the Gussie boys were trying to, in detail, explain it to us the other day.

It's maybe in your house. When you go in your house, you can just smell the king. But the thing is, is there's a likeness.

There's a resemblance, right? And so when you are around my children, you think, oh, that reminds me of Jeremy, right? And there's something king about it, right? And there's something Gussie about the Gussies. And so in the same way, if you are a peacemaker, you're like God. God is a peacemaker.

And so you should reflect that in your life. You should have, you should be looking like God. Many times in the Bible, it's used this way.

At one time, the same word, children of the world. Jesus said that. He says the children of the world.

So what does that mean? It means they reflect the world's values. Children of Satan. That means they reflect Satan's values.

There's another one, the sons of thunder, right? What did Jesus mean? He said, these two guys remind me of thunder, right? They get a little excited all the time and they don't know how to control themselves. They act like thunder. And so in the same way, peacemakers, when you're called a child of God, it's saying you're reflecting God and who he is.

God is a peacemaker. Notice it says that they shall be called. So they shall be recognized.

They shall be named. They shall be publicly identified as God's children. You could read it like this.

Blessed are the peacemakers. They will be recognized as those who are like God. Now here's a verse that shows God's a peacemaker in Ephesians 2. You can turn there in verse 14.

Ephesians 2, 14. It says, for he is our peace who have made both one and have broken down the middle wall of partition between us. The ESV reads that he has broken down the dividing wall of hostility, having abolished in his flesh or done away the enemy.

So the enmity. So we had this law of commandments that were against us, that made it impossible. We were Gentiles.

We had no way to get in. And so Jesus came and he, with his flesh, by dying on the cross, he broke down this middle wall of hostility and he made a way for us that we could be at peace with God. And it goes on.

Having abolished in his flesh the enmity, even the law of commands contained in ordinances for to make in himself one new man, so making peace, and that he might reconcile both unto God in one body by the cross, having slain the enmity thereby and came and preached peace. And it's interesting that even in the temple, they had this, they had the temple and then they had this court around the temple and they called this the outer court of the Gentiles. And it was a wall.

So I guess if you were a Gentile, you had to stay out here. You couldn't go past this wall. And so in a literal way, they could picture, if you were a Gentile, there was this wall that kept you from going in and being in the most holy places to being in the temple.

And so Jesus came in a spiritual sense and broke down that wall. Colossians 1, verse 20, one more verse about God is a peacemaker. Jesus is a peacemaker.

It says here, and having, this is Colossians 1, 20, and having made peace, that's another word, that's all compounded one word in the Greek, made peace. It's like a sister word to the word we're reading, peacemaker, through the blood of his cross by him to reconcile all things unto himself. And then he goes on.

And so Jesus came through the blood of his cross and he made peace. He is a peacemaker and we're supposed to be doing the same thing if we want to be called his children, if we want to reflect who he is. God is also called, or Jesus is called, or God is called the God of peace three times in the New Testament.

In Romans, 1 Thessalonians, and Hebrews, it's called, and the God of peace, may he sanctify you wholly. Back in Isaiah, Jesus is called the Prince of Peace, right? We're told to shot our feet with the gospel of the preparation of peace. And so this is a very important subject.

I want to read to you now a quote that I found. And it's interesting because it comes from a Protestant, but I found it so interesting what he said. And you listen to the tone that he says it in too.

He says, one after the other, the Beatitudes tell us that the blessings of eternity will be given only to those who have become new creatures. For example, blessed are the merciful. They shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart. They shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the sons of God.

If we don't obtain mercy, if we receive judgment, sorry, if we don't obtain mercy, then we receive judgment. If we don't see God, we're not in heaven. And if we aren't called the sons of God, we are outside of the family.

These are all descriptions of final salvation. And it is promised only to the merciful, to the pure in heart and to the peacemakers. Thus, the Beatitudes are like long spikes holding down the lid of the coffin on the false teaching that says, if you just believe in Jesus, then you will go to heaven.

Whether or not you are merciful or pure in heart or a peacemaker. He's saying that the spikes of that, people that say, we don't have to be pure in heart. We don't have to be merciful.

We'll go to heaven either way. He says, that is not true. From beginning to end, the Sermon on the Mount cries, get yourself a new heart, become a new person.

The river of judgment is at the door. He continues, a life of disobedience to the Beatitudes in the Sermon on the Mount will not stand in the judgment, no matter what we believe. What he means by that is, you'll stand on judgment day and say, but Jesus, I believed in you.

I confessed you. And if you have a life trailing behind you of disobedience to the Sermon on the Mount, it's not going to stand. It's not going to say, oh, okay, you can go on in now.

He goes on, I want to impress upon your conscience with as much earnestness as I can, that Jesus is not making optional suggestions in the Beatitudes. And this sermon is not a series of suggestions how to make the world better. On the contrary, Jesus is describing the pathway to heaven.

And this sermon is a message from God to urge you to get on that pathway, to stay on that pathway so that you can be called sons of God at the last judgment. I thought that was really well written. So I have 13, which is a bad number for preachers, I guess.

But I was trying to move it around. I didn't know which one to chop out. So we're going to keep it at 13, but practical ways to be a peacemaker.

We have 13 of them. I'll try to write them on the board so we don't, so we don't, so we can remember them. And, you know, obviously it says, if you, through the spirit, do put the death, the deeds of the flesh, you shall live.

So obviously without the spirit's power, it's going to do no good. But these are some things we can think about and allow the spirit to go home and challenge us on. Number one, I want to write the word, a peacemaker initiates, a peacemaker initiates reconciliation.

He doesn't wait. We find in both the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5, and in, did I spell that wrong? I see smiles, so I didn't know if I had it wrong. Okay, Matthew 5 and Matthew 18.

In Matthew 5, it says, if you go to the altar, and you remember, my brother has something against me, so he's got a problem with you, you leave your gift there at the altar, you go back, and you, you go and be reconciled with your brother. Right? Matthew 18 says this, if thy brother trespasses against you, not the first one, he has a problem with you. Now this one, you have a problem with him.

He did something wrong to you, right? He says what? Go and tell him his fault. A peacemaker initiates, no matter if I was wronged, or he was wronged. You see that? A peacemaker steps into conflict, he initiates reconciliation, you go first, even if you were wrong, or if they were wrong.

You go first, and maybe they'll be meeting you on the way, coming first, and talking to you, but if not, the peacemaker of the two, will be the one that goes first. They move toward the problem, they don't move away from it. If you're involved in a conflict, make the first move.

I remember years ago watching that, I don't remember his name, but Love and Respect, and he talked about husband and wife getting in this crazy cycle, and it just gets worse, and worse, and worse, and he said the mature one, will make the first move to get out of the crazy cycle. And we can apply that to all of our relationships. Make the first move.

A lot of people see a wall, and they back up, right? They don't want to get hurt, and that's understandable. They, but God wants us to move towards the wall. He wants us to break down the wall, like he did, like Jesus did.

He, think about him, he's in heaven, and it's this grand mission to go down and break down this wall, and he's thinking, but I have to die. I have to have people pound spikes through my hand to do this. I have to go through pain.

And so, Jesus was our example. You might be tempted, they don't like me, they don't want me, whatever it is, those kind of thoughts can, if we bring them in, and we allow them to fester, and we don't bounce them, like I was saying earlier, we can begin to allow this wall to build, and we can start to believe, and it becomes like a core belief in our heart that they don't want this, and I remember Caleb told me this about a year ago, that it's kind of interesting how if somebody starts backing away, sometimes they're really, what they're crying out is they want you to come and love them, right? But what can set off is a chain reaction. The other side thinks, well, they've got a problem, and so they back away.

They stop, they stop asking. They stop, you know, it becomes awkward, and so a peacemaker pushes through that. He pushes through the pain.

I remember telling that to my children. Push through the pain. Even if those thoughts come, push through the pain.

Talk with the person. Try to break down the wall. That's what peacemakers do.

Number two, where did I put the pen? Listen. James says, every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, right? And so often, including myself, we do the opposite, right? I remember being over, I think it was a deacon seminar over there at Halsey, and they were talking about how so many pastors sit down, and they sit down to talk to somebody, and the person starts to talk, and within about 30 seconds, they've already got it mapped out. They know what the solution is, and they're just waiting for them to be done, so they can just dump the solution on them, and that doesn't work.

People need to be heard, and maybe there's something more to the situation that you don't know. Let them tell their story. Let them talk.

Listen. Try not to interrupt. Try to let them finish.

I think I said all of that, so yeah, don't be looking and thinking about how you can rebut them and how you can fix it, but try to understand. A peacemaker tries to understand, and he listens intentionally. Number three.

Now, this is where the conflict avoider says, I think I'm going to go to the back door and not talk anymore, but speak truth. Don't speak in harsh or rude tones. Here's one.

We should all work on this, really. Sarcasm, especially if it's a sensitive time. Let's just boot that out.

Sarcasm is a way to say something rude and then laugh afterwards, and everybody thinks it's a joke, and guess what you remember when you go home? That comment, and it's happened. Let's stay away from sarcasm in sensitive topics. Proverbs says, a soft answer turns away wrath.

In Ephesians it says, speak the truth in love. Colossians says, let your speech be always gracious. So peacemaking isn't avoiding hard things.

It's handling them rightly. It's saying the truth with love. So watch your volume when you're talking.

Watch your tones. Even so much as how you end your tones, they can make people feel dumb. And sometimes, how do I say this? Sometimes we don't even realize we make people feel dumb with our tones.

Maybe ask your friends, do I make you feel dumb when I talk? And by the way, if you're a peacemaker, tell them the truth. We're not doing any good to each other if we're just conflict avoiding, and they come to you and, hey brother, do I feel like, do you say that? And we're like, oh no, no brother. We're not helping each other, but speak the truth with love.

Say, well, sometimes yeah, you can get a little bit when you get excited about a topic. Say it kindly, but yeah, let's help each other out. Speak the truth.

Number four, a peacemaker absorbs wrongs. Romans 12, 21 says this, do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. This is probably one of the hardest things peacemakers have to do, really hard, is to absorb wrongs.

Don't repay evil for evil. You get in that conversation with somebody and they make a snarky remark. What's the first thing you want to do? You want to make a snarky remark back, right? And then they make another snarky remark, and it escalates, and it goes into the crazy cycle.

So when they say the snarky remark, absorb the wrong. Just don't say anything. Just take it.

Allow it to humble you and move on. Don't allow you to become bitter, but absorb the wrong. It reminds me kind of of those nuclear control rods where, you know, nuclear reaction is just going.

It's just, it's a reaction, and the neutrons are going crazy and bouncing off each other, and they figured out that if they had these certain material made out of a certain kind of material they could jam these rods in and it would just absorb, it would absorb the reaction and stop it. You be that guy. You be the control rod.

Don't make cynical comments back. A peacemaker breaks the cycle by choosing not to retaliate. He does something kind instead.

He absorbs the wrong and does something kind. Think of Abraham and Lot. Here they were, and they were trying to decide about where to go.

Their herdsmen were battling over the fields where their sheep were feeding, and if you remember the story, who do you think should have had the right to choose? Abraham, right? It just seems logical. Abraham should have the right to choose, and what did he do instead? He said, you pick which one you want, and I'll go the other way. If you remember Isaac and the story of him, and their herdsmen were having problems, and they'd go, they'd dig a well, and these other guys would come along and fight with them, and so he named that well Conflict, and he went on to another, and he dug that well, and some more herdsmen came and fought with him, and so he named it, I forget what now, but another Hostility, and then finally he dug the third well, and nobody came and fought with him, and he said, oh, I'll name this room.

We finally have a room, right? But he was a peacemaker. He had the right to that well. He dug it, and yet he was a peacemaker.

He absorbed the wrong. Peacemakers often pay a personal cost. That's just the name of the game.

Jesus paid a cost to come here and bring peace, right? God paid a cost, and if you want to be a Christian, you're going to have to pay a cost, and that's just how it is. You're going to pay a cost and absorb wrongs. Number five, be neutral.

How do you spell this word? I think it's like this. Is this right? Okay, good. James tells us that the wisdom from above is not partial.

It's unbiased. It's sincere, and so peacemakers don't take sides emotionally. They're not biased, which is hard to do sometimes.

How do you know if you're biased? They don't twist facts, okay? Here's a tempting one. I don't know if you've ever been tempted. You're with one guy, so we'll just say I'm with Elijah, and he's got a problem with, we'll call on Joshua, since they're friends, and he's telling me this and this about Joshua, and I'm like, yeah, I know, I know.

He's just such a whatever, and then I go over with Joshua, and he tells me about Elijah. Oh, yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Agreeing with both sides is not peacemaking.

It's actually troublemaking, so don't be that kind of person. Be unbiased. Be impartial.

Listen to both sides, and your goal is now to try to bring these two together. That's the goal. How can I break down this bridge, this wall between them? That's what a peacemaker would do, so don't twist facts.

Don't agree with the person you're currently with. Don't take sides emotionally. Try to stay emotionally out of it.

Try to stay where you can logically see the two sides. Aim for clarity. What is actually right, and what does the Lord think about this situation? What is the right thing that God would want for this? Number six, how can you be a peacemaker? Confess.

You know, own your own part. Maybe it's only 5%, but own it, right? Own the part that you had a problem in, that you represented. I probably still do this, and I'm sorry if I do.

You can tell me later, but I had some friends once tell me, you know, Jeremy, you say just a lot when we come to you and tell you a problem. Well, I was just, and you know, in my mind, I was trying to show them I had a good heart when it happened. I was trying to show you that I really didn't want to hurt you when I said that, so I just this, and I just that, but what does that sound like to you? Justification, right? And nobody feels like it's a true apology when you say just.

And another time, is it where you say, I'm really sorry for this, and this, and this, but what did you just do? You erased everything, right? And I've done that, okay? So I'm guilty, but own your part without just, and without but, right? Leave those out. Own your part, and you don't have to tell them, you know, I'm sorry that I only, I did 5%, and you did the other 95%. Just tell them, I'm sorry for what I did, right? So apologize.

Don't minimize it. Humble yourself that you played a role in it. Don't defend yourself, okay? So confess.

That's what I put that under. Seven, forgive. Forgive genuinely.

You ever have a friend that tells you, oh yeah, man, it's forgiven. Don't worry about it, and then like the next time you meet him, it doesn't seem like it's forgiven, and it's awkward? Yeah, that's not forgiveness, and you're holding it over their head. You're not being a peacemaker.

You need to work it out. If you say you forgive, forgive them. That's what Jesus did.

We're told to be tenderhearted and forgiving one another. Release the debt. Stop holding on to it.

If you don't forgive, it's just really a surface level, and that's what we're not aiming for. We're aiming for reconciliation. Number eight, don't... I'll just put gossip.

Don't spread the conflict. Proverbs says, a dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisper separates close friends. A whisperer, that's a person that you tell something.

You tell something maybe very deep. You tell something that maybe in a moment... I don't remember who told me this advice years ago, but maybe you're having a struggle as a husband and a wife, and you go and you tell your friend, oh, I'm really struggling with him. He did this and this and that, or I'm really struggling with her.

She did this, this, and that, and now the friend is over here. He's going, man, he's a creep. Then they go home that night, the husband and wife, they make it all up.

Oh, honey, I love you, and everything's good, but the friend's still over here. He's a creep, right? Be careful what you're sharing. Don't spread the conflict around.

Don't replay the offense to others. Now, this one's hard. I don't know how to do this one, but a peacemaker speaks well, I have, of the absent person.

You ever been in a conversation and everybody's berating that person, and it's kind of hard? Do you have the guts to say something good about that person? Because you kind of feel like you're correcting everybody who's speaking negative, but a peacemaker does that. He's not going to let people just tear somebody down. He says, well, I think he's pretty good in this way.

Don't spread the conflict. Number nine, I'll just put sacrifice. My wife was telling me all the things that I do in the home, I guess, to be a peacemaker, but then she said, don't share it all.

This is weird. Like little things you do. Okay, I'm going to share it.

She was like, don't share it unless you feel like the spirit leads you. I don't know. We'll see, but you go in there and you shave your face, and you get all this hair, and it goes all over the counter and the sink, and I know to her, it's love to wipe it up, to clean it up, and so clean up after yourself.

To her, it's love to put the toilet seat down. Put the toilet seat down. Do things to love the other person in your home, whether it's your wife, your siblings.

Do things where it's their love language. It might not be your love language, but it's their love language, and you're making peace in their hearts. I try to make the bed every morning with her.

We both stand on each side and make it, and that's to her. She likes that, and I'm beginning to like it too. It's nice to walk in the room and see the bed made nicely, and so do things in your home.

Volunteer. Do dishes. Clean up after yourself, and don't keep score.

Little things you can do to create peace in other people's hearts. I had volunteer, but I put sacrifice, but do things like that. Number 10.

Look, we're not just striving to live with each other. We're striving to be reconciled or restored. It says in 1 Corinthians, God has given us the ministry of reconciliation.

That is actually our job as Christians, is to bring reconciliation. It's not just about, oh, we stopped arguing, but we still hate each other. Reminds me of this thing I saw where the mom was telling the boys to say the love chapter because they couldn't get along, and he's like, love is patient.

I'm going to hit you as soon as I get a minute, and quoting the verse, and yet having under his breath, I just can't wait to knock you in, and that's not peace. Peace is trying to restore the relationship, trying to bring reconciliation. We're not just resolving, we're restoring.

Number 11. The Bible says to pursue peace, and so it says seek peace and pursue it. Seek peace and pursue it.

That means that it doesn't just come automatically, and it means it might not just come overnight. It means it might take some time. It reminds me, way years ago, I had to do this peacemaking thing.

Well, it wasn't really a peacemaking thing at the moment. The guy was cursing. He was a city representative at the city hall, and he was cursing, and he said he was a Christian, and so I felt like I needed to go and tell him, you are not reflecting Jesus, so I went up.

I took him outside. I privately told him, I just want to encourage you. You're saying curse words in front of all these people.

Everybody knows you go to this church here, and I would encourage you as a Christian that you really clean up your mouth. You're not representing Christ. Oh, he was not happy with me.

To go and say something like that, and so now for the next while, I had to actively seek him out. I tried to take cookies to his door. I might have told you this story before, but just bear with me.

I took cookies to his door, and he just slammed the door in my face and told me he was a diabetic. I saw him out on the lawn mowing, and I said, hey, just thanks for mowing the city park, and with time, I won his heart over, and he actually started coming to our church, which was neat, but the idea here is pursue peace, and it might take time. It might not come overnight, but keep trying.

Make a persistent effort, and then if that doesn't work, then you need to accept the limits. You know, the Bible says that we need to have, if it's possible with you, to live at peace with everyone, but that leaves the indication that it might not be possible. You might have tried everything you could to live at peace with this person, and they're not willing to live at peace with you.

Now, don't use that as an excuse. Make sure you're not using that as I've tried everything, and so I'm just going to accept the limits. No, make sure you're doing your part, but it may come to a point where you just have to accept the limits.

You may also have to accept it that this is just how we're going to get along. I have people in my life where when I'm around them, they need to be treated this certain way. If they have a schedule for the day, they do not want you questioning the schedule, or it creates a lot of mayhem.

So when I get there, I already prepare myself to accept the limits. We're just going to go by the schedule. We're not going to question it, and so you might need to learn how to have peace with certain relationships.

Accept this limit. This is how it works with this person. I need to be the underdog.

They need to be the overdog. That's fine. Learn how to be at peace with people and accept the limits, and then, well, let me just read the things I wrote here.

You can't control the other person. Learn what people's hot buttons are. What does respect look like to them? You might try, but they might refuse.

Number 13. Remind everyone. How do I write this? Remind who the enemy is.

What does the Bible say about this? Anybody think of a verse? Okay. That's good. There's another verse I'm looking for.

We're talking about... Yes. We do not wrestle against flesh and blood. Everybody look to your neighbor.

If you can pinch them and it hurts, right, then they're flesh and blood. They have flesh and blood, and therefore, that's not your enemy. If it's your wife, if it's your brother, if it's your co-worker, they're not the enemy.

The enemy is the principalities. It's the devil. It's the darkness of this world.

And so remind everyone who the enemy is. Remind yourself who the enemy is. That's how you can be a peacemaker.

Remember, this is not my enemy. Okay. So in closing, you remember when Joshua was coming up onto Jericho, and he meets this guy who had a sword in his hand, and he was a commander, and Joshua asked him, he said, whose side are you on? And the commander said, neither.

I'm not on your side, and I'm not on their side. He said, I'm on the Lord's side. Remember that in every situation that you deal with, there's going to be three sides, right? There's going to be your side, there's going to be their side, and there's going to be God's side.

And so to be a peacemaker, we want to get on God's side. We want to know how a God deal with this situation and get his heart. God bless you, and I pray that we can all learn to be more like Christ, since he is the Prince of Peace.