Introduction to Family Relationships

Let's read in 2nd Timothy that's marked on the little brochure, if you have one, 2nd Timothy chapter 3. 2nd Timothy chapter 3 and let's read at verse 14. 2nd Timothy chapter 3 and verse 14. But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned, and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them, that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

All scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works. Let's read as well in 2nd Peter chapter 1. 2nd Peter chapter 1 and let's read in verse 2. 2nd Peter chapter 1 and verse 2. Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord according to his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue. I'm going to today give you a number of introductory remarks.

If you notice, if you have the outline, Lord willing, tomorrow evening I'm going to talk about the home itself, the atmosphere, and so on from Deuteronomy 6, and then Tuesday, Lord willing, husband and wife relationships, and then that's Tuesday husbands and wives, Wednesday children and parenting, and then Thursday courtship, and we're going to leave Friday free for questions that believers might have about anything we've taken up during the week. Now if there are not a lot of questions and they're answered briefly, then I can fill in with some things that I've had to leave out during the week, but if you have questions, you want to write them out, feel free to do that, but I would just say this, make sure the questions are not arrows pointing at somebody else that you want to correct. We want to have questions that pertain to a concern that you personally have or something I haven't explained quite clearly so that you understand it.

Sometimes when we preach, we think we're really clear, but believers don't always see that we're as clear as we think we are. That's one of the hazards of speaking, is you think you're doing just fine and other people aren't so sure about it, so I am willing to go over anything that we may have not, that I may have not made clear when I spoke on a particular time. So feel free to do that and you don't have to sign it.

Anonymous questions are fine. I'm not concerned about who asks the question. I'm concerned about being a help.

The other thing I would say is my goal is to be helpful to you. I am here as your servant, so I want you to understand. I think, if some of you know me already, I hope I'm approachable.

I don't want you to be afraid of me, afraid to come to me at all about something that's on your mind. I try not to be too scary, so feel free. My wife says I still need to smile more, so I'm working on that so that I look less ferocious.

So feel free to come to me if you have questions that you would like answered personally. Now going directly, because we're going to go down some things in this introductory meeting, I have read in 1st Timothy or 2nd Timothy 3 and also in 1st and 2nd Peter to point out that there is a solution to every problem in human life in the Word of God. I believe that with all my heart.

Every single problem. One of our daughters recently, we were all sitting together talking, and she said to me the thing that strikes her most as a child growing up in our home, is the moment she asked a question about anything, the first thing I did was reach for my Bible, because the answers are there for everything. There's not a human problem that is not addressed in the Word of God.

In fact, I was very impressed years ago, there is a lady that I know back in Ontario, Canada, and she had what is called agoraphobia, which is fear of fear. That's oversimplification, but that's the idea. And she struggled with it really badly.

People get to the point that they won't even move out of a bedroom, and they have to bring food into them because they're afraid of going anywhere in case a panic attack comes. It's not so much that they're panicking at the moment, but they're afraid of those panic attacks, so I understand. In fact, one day I met her at a Bible bookstore, she hadn't got to the point where she stayed in one room, but she was a Bible bookstore standing beside the door, and she said, I'm afraid to go back in there in case I have a panic attack.

Well, years later, I was talking to her, and she said, I don't have that problem anymore. And I said, why is that? She said, well, because of what it says in the Proverbs. She said, I came across it one day where it said, be not afraid of sudden fear.

And it was just amazing to me that back in Solomon's day, so many centuries ago, that had been addressed in the word of God. So I believe that the scriptures are sufficient for every need. Now, that's just a beginning statement.

There's lots more I want to say, but that will be a start. Notice with me in 2nd Peter chapter 3, I don't need to look at, well, let's look at 2nd Timothy for a moment. We should really look there.

2nd Timothy chapter 3, and notice what it says. It says in verse 17 that the scripture has been given that the man of God may be perfect, and that word perfect is the idea of complete. In the days when our Bible was written, perfection did not mean quite the same as we use it today.

It would be like this. Supposing a man is going to go to a job, and he asks his boss, what tools would I need? And he says, do you need this, this, and this? And they put them on the toolbox. He'll say, oh, that's perfect.

And it doesn't mean the tools are perfect or the box is perfect. It means he's fully equipped. That's the idea, fully equipped.

And it says, throughly or thoroughly furnished unto all good works. So it is telling us that the word of God is enough to make us completely suited for everything that we can possibly do. And that's what I want to stress this week, that we're going to be doing that, but we'll talk about that more.

And now going to 2 Peter 1, notice what it says in verse 3 with me, according as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness. Now you'll notice that pertaining is to two things. It's to life and godliness.

Now we know that godliness is our vertical relationship with God. Life is our horizontal relationship in this world, and the scriptures and God himself has, they have given us everything that pertains to the whole region of life, whether it's our relationship with God or our relationship with others. All things.

Notice that it is all things that pertain to life and godliness. So a believer is the best equipped person to live in this world. And we need to believe that.

And when people say, well, I just don't feel adequate. Well, maybe you don't, maybe I don't. But the point is we are, we are adequate.

And a believer can have the fullest life in more than anybody else in this whole world, because God has equipped us for that. Now we may not know how to use the tools. Years ago, before cars were electronic, I would try to fix my own car somewhat, not everything, but I would try to fix it.

The problem was that I didn't have the tools. And I would use a wrench that was really meant for one thing, and I'd get a hexagon bolt, and I would make it round, because I was using a tool that would shear off the corners. I just didn't have the equipment.

When it comes to spiritual things, every believer here today has all the equipment necessary to live in this life and to have a good relationship with God. There are no exceptions. You might think you are an exception.

There is no such thing. God has given us all things that pertain to life and godliness. Of course it is, as it says in the end of the verse, through the knowledge of him.

So in the measure that we get to know God and his word, we become better able to handle life. And of course that's an ongoing lifetime work, so that as we go through the years, we should be better equipped. But then that raises another question, or thought, that Brother Erickson mentioned, and that is this, that these meetings are for all the believers.

Because older believers, as I speak this week, will be reinforced in some things that they have known for a long time. And they say, oh yeah, I remember that's what we did, or that's what we should have done, whatever. And so older believers can help younger believers as we go through the word of God together, so that you're really, we're helping the whole assembly.

I really don't see in scripture such a thing as young people's meetings. I see meetings for all believers, for the very reason that even if it is something older, a younger person can benefit from. And for someone younger, it's a reminder to older Christians of something that they can help younger believers with.

So this is the benefit of a gathering where all believers come. One other thing I recognize, that everybody has a busy life. So if you can't make it any night, you don't have to bring a note from your mother, this is not school.

You can, you come as you're exercised. I don't believe in people being forced to come. I was with a preacher one time years ago, and he was very strict on people attending or having gospel meetings.

And after the meetings, he would shake people's hands and he would hold on to their hand and said, missed you last night, and he wouldn't let go as if, okay, give me your reason. Well, I got tired of that. So I stood back behind him.

And when he was done with his interrogation, I would say to them, it's okay, if you didn't make it, that's fine. And I would try to undo what he was doing, making them feel guilt. I think that's a bad thing.

If you can't make it, you don't even need to tell me sorry, I didn't make it last night. If it makes you feel better, say it. But it really makes no difference to me.

I'm not counting numbers. Brother Gustafson is always good at that. I don't, I can't do that.

And I've never found half people the way he is able to find a half a person. So I fully expect most people to come are all there. But so you don't need to worry about it.

Just do what you can. But I think you will lose something if you can't get out to the meetings, but maybe they're likely being taped so you can get something afterwards. Let's go to First Corinthians chapter two.

First Corinthians chapter two. Paul was coming to the Corinthians. And he wanted to let them know that as he was coming, he was depending on not human wisdom, but on God's word.

So in second or First Corinthians chapter two, verse four, he says, my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the spirit and of power that your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God. Now I will not be teaching this week some idea that I have or some idea that somebody else has. I am not free to tell you what I think.

I'm only free to tell you what God says. And that is my goal. Anytime I speak on any subject that I'm not going to be telling you my own thoughts.

If I do say something that I question or wonder about, I will let you know that. But basically, we're going to be teaching as much as we can within the wisdom, any wisdom that I might have, what God says. Human psychology is not going to be taught this week.

People have asked me if I'm a Christian counselor, because I've done a lot of personal work. And I don't really even like that term. Because there's a perfectly good term in the scriptures, and it is a shepherd.

So I don't use the term Christian counseling at all. Because it's that's either denominational or some other kind of term that as far as I'm concerned, I don't need. I will not be giving Christian counseling this week.

I'll be giving the Word of God as much as I understand it. So we can try to depend upon what God says to help believers have a wholesome Christian life. Now, that's what Paul says in verse five, that your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

But let's look at Romans chapter two, I've got that marked down, I believe. Romans chapter two. And reading at verse 14.

For when the Gentiles which have not the law, do by nature the things contained in the law, these having not the law, are a law unto themselves. Now, I should point out that we use the expression, he's a law unto himself. That's not what this means.

It doesn't mean that he's a rebel or renegade. It's just that they have the law within themselves, because they don't have the Word of God. And verse 15 would show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and their thoughts the meanwhile accusing or else excusing one another.

Now, the question has been asked at times, well, what about psychology? And what about even secular counselors and people, psychiatrists, for example, who are medical doctors with an advanced degree in the realm of psychology? I believe that truth is truth wherever you find it. So, I believe it's possible for someone who's not even saved to have insights to what makes the human mind work and the human heart, and therefore they can give beneficial guidance. In fact, having been with sometimes patients of psychiatrists to their psychiatrists with the psychiatrist and the patient's permission, I have found that sometimes that secular psychologists and psychiatrists, in some cases, actually do a better job than Christian psychiatrists and Christian counselors, because there is an insight that some people just naturally have, and there are some people and they get a psychology degree from a Christian university, but all they are good at is getting marks.

That's not all of them. I'm not putting down Christian counselors, Christian psychiatrists, I'm just saying that that in itself does not give a person an ability to understand human nature. However, if you take a non-Christian psychiatrist psychologist and he gives good advice, you will find that advice in the Word of God, because truth is truth wherever you find it, and anything that really changes you and me is already somewhere in this book.

We may not be able to find it, but eventually we will be able to, and I've been very impressed in the last two or three months, especially because I've been helping in a situation, and one, there are a number of people that are working together in this situation with me, and one of them said, I'm writing down these scriptures. I didn't know that was in there, because the situation that we're dealing with, there are answers in this book, and they just said, I never saw that there before, but it is there. Now I can't say I know that for every situation, but when people ask me for advice, I will not give advice until I can confirm it in this book.

This is the only thing that God allows me to give people, is something from his Word. I heard about preachers, I don't think it's really true, but they were preaching, one of them was preaching one night, and the point he was making was really, really weak, and he didn't have a good basis for it, and he put in brackets beside his point, shout very loud, point very weak. Well, I'm not going to do that.

If you hear me shouting, you know I'm in trouble, but we've got to go by the Word of God. One other thing that is very important is, sometimes believers have said to me, well, the doctor has me on some medication, should I continue to take it? My answer is, absolutely. I am not a medical person, and I would never suggest that people ever stop anything.

You go with what the doctor says, I will work with a doctor if he wants me to work with him, and pass on what I'm doing, but I would never work against a normal medical profession, or even a psychologist. Sometimes people have been talking to me, and they're also seeing a psychologist at the same time, and I will ask them, what are they suggesting? And if they're suggesting something, I say, well, stay with that, but I also would suggest this or that. So, medications are sometimes necessary for a lifetime, sometimes they're necessary temporarily, but also ultimately a person has to cooperate in their own Christian life.

I was with a patient at his psychiatrist, and this man, wonderful man, he's not a believer, and he said in front of me to the patient, he said, no, I'm giving you medication, but that's not the answer. The answer is what you yourself choose and determine to some degree. Not that the medication doesn't support that, all he was saying was, don't be leaning on that for everything, you have responsibility, choices that you make.

So again, I am emphasizing, whatever I say this week, I don't want anybody, I don't need to know, and I'm not looking to know what you might be, or might not be taking, if any of you are. I want you to know that I'm not encouraging people to give up on whatever others are suggesting to them. A few other things that I've written down here to mention to us.

You can imagine that in one week, a few nights, we're not going to cover everything in human nature. God has given us 66 books, and we're having five nights, and it's amazing how the truth, even about life, is scattered throughout the whole word. So, I'm just going to be covering some basics, but what I'm hoping is that you will take this seriously enough that you will expand on that.

In other words, this is not a week of ministry, and my ministry, I hope, is never that way. It's not a week of ministry to get through from the beginning of the week to the end, and you've had a good time, and you get warm fuzzies and go home. These meetings are for life-changing ministry, so that you and I, and I include myself in that, will not be the same when these meetings are over as to what you were at the beginning of the week.

If you are the same by the end of the week that you are right now, then either I have failed, or you have failed, or we both have failed. Ministry is life-changing. I'm not an actor.

I'm not a comedian. I am a communicator of divine truth that is to be life-changing truth. So, I'm looking for myself.

The Lord will give me help and even teach me. Last week, I took up John's Gospel in Ontario, Wisconsin, and I was impressed with what I got from it. And the week before, the same subject in Hinckley, and in those two weeks, my knowledge and enjoyment of the Lord increased.

So, I expect that I will be changed this week. In fact, sometimes I have what I call uh-oh meetings. I'm preaching, and all of a sudden, I think, you know, I'm not really practicing that the way I should.

One night, I was preaching back at home when our children were very little. Maybe Ruth might have been seven or eight at the time. I don't recall.

And I looked in the rearview mirror as I'm driving along, and she's looking pretty sour. And she said, I said, Dear, what's wrong? She said, Daddy, could you do something for me? I said, If I can. She said, Would you stop preaching on what you preached tonight? Oh, I said, I could.

Why? She says, Because you don't practice it. I said, Can we make a deal? If I start practicing it, can I continue preaching? She said, Okay. So, I expect that these meetings will change me.

This is not one-sided. You know what they call this? They call this coward's castle, because you shoot out, and nobody can shoot back. But that's not the way I think about it.

So, let's look to God that he will change us all. And it may not be major changes, but when the week is over, every one of us can say, you know what? I'm a little different from what I was when the meeting started. That's the goal.

One other thing that is very, very vital. There are older Christians here. They've raised their family.

The family is gone. And when you get older, you can look back and you say, I should have done this. And I should have done that.

And why didn't I do this? Why didn't I do that? These meetings are not for guilt. I do not want older believers, whose families are gone, looking back and these meetings this week are a grief to them. That's not the goal.

I want you to forget the past. These meetings are forward looking, not backward looking. Now, if you can look back and see, Oh, yeah, I could have done that.

And you can do that without worrying about it. That's fine. But I don't want believers leaving here grieving over things that they should have done.

That is no good. It's not helpful. And that's not what I want.

I was interested, when I was driving one night, about 10 o'clock at night, I was coming home along the thruway back at home. And I turned on the radio to get the news. And they were just finishing an interview with the daughter of a very famous actress in Hollywood.

And she was kind of a, like so many, they live different lives from us. And this lady was known for having stabbed her mother's boyfriend. That was her fame at that time.

And she had just finished writing a book. And she was being interviewed because of that. And her mother likely wasn't a very good mother.

And so the interviewer said to her, what kind of mother was your mother anyway? And the lady answered in a wonderful way. She said, she was the best mother she knew how to be at that time. Like nobody gets up in the morning, husbands or wives, mothers or fathers and say, now, how can I trash the children today? Nobody does that.

How can I make my husband mad or my wife mad? Or how can I disturb their peace? You get up in the morning expecting to have a good day. But some days aren't. Let me just pass this on.

I mean, get a chance to say it. When our children were growing up, you know how, I don't know what you have in Michigan, but some states they have no fault insurance. You pay your own bill.

Well, we had no fault days in our house. And that is if you bump somebody, they had to just take the ding and not blame you for it. And so sometimes we got up in the morning and we could see everybody was out of sorts.

Started out that way. And Joyce or I would say, you know what, I think this is going to be a no fault day. And so we all said, okay, it's a no fault day.

And no matter what happened, no matter what you did, you just walked away from it. You drove your own car and looked at your own ding and said, I can fix that. And so you worked your own body shop instead of trying to blame somebody else.

So there is no perfection. And again, I come back to older believers. Don't be looking back and saying these two words.

Don't say them, if only. I don't want to hear that this week, even in your heart, because we all have things that we could do differently. The other thing is, if you know that your husband or wife should have done differently, don't build resentment against them, because sometime during the week I may say something and one partner or the other say, yeah, that's what I wanted him or her to see, but they never got it.

Then all that's going to do is cause friction. And we don't want that. So I can leave that there, but I don't want you to be burdened in these meetings.

I want you to be helped. Some problems, there are no black and white answers. I wish there were.

That would be nice if every single problem you can say, well, you do these three things, one, two, three, okay, problem solved. Human nature is not that simple. It really isn't.

You know that, because you're a human too. So we can't concern ourselves about that. One other thing, home influence, no matter what influences there are out in this world, home influence is still the greatest influence within the family.

I'm encouraged about that, to think that no matter what's going on out there, home influence is the very best. So be encouraged to believe that no matter how dark it gets out there, it's not hopeless. You can worry about what the children are learning and doing, and there's plenty to worry about.

I mean, the influence is no longer outside. It comes in through the internet, and you have to be guarded about that. But still overall, home influence is the greatest influence in the world.

One other thing connected with that is that no matter how good a home is, children make their own choices. And they are a human being, human beings in their own individual right. So even if you had everything going well, children can turn out poorly.

I was sitting in a Bible study years ago, and some of the brethren in that assembly had done a really good job with their children. And of course, you expect the preacher to put a stamp of approval on everything you say in a Bible study. You look at him expecting he'll just nod his head or smile.

And they said, some of them said, you know, Brother Jim, you would believe that if you raise children properly, they will turn out just fine, don't you? Well, I said, you know, I know one perfect father. I said, maybe you've never met a perfect father, but I have one perfect father. And he is still waiting for his children to come out of the rebellion.

And I quoted Isaiah chapter one, where God says, I have nourished and brought up children and they have rebelled against me. And I said, God did nothing wrong, but they still rebelled. So I said, no, I don't really see it that way.

You can do your best and the children will still turn out poorly. One last thing, you'll notice on the outline that I left courtship to the last night. The reason for that is there's no use starting with courtship when we haven't laid the foundation in what a home should be.

Because I hope that by the end of the week, if there are those that are single, who would like to be married, not everybody, by the way, who's single want to be married. I talked to a young lady one time many years ago, she says, you know what, I'm happy single. And so we need to keep that in mind.

And also not joke, single brother, brother and our sisters about being single. That's not a good thing, because that puts pressure on them. And they may be happier than you, because maybe you're either miserable to live with, or you live with somebody who is miserable.

So, you know, being single can be very peaceful, if that's what God calls them to. But I'm leaving courtship to the last, so that people have some idea if they're single and are exercised, that they would like to have a partner, they will know what to look for by the end of the week. Now we'll leave it there.

And again, I do thank you for being here and trust we'll have a good week together. Let's pray. Father, we thank Thee for the Lord Jesus Christ.

We think of the joy that we have in knowing Him. We thank Thee that not only has Thou saved us, but Thou has given us all things so that we will have a life that is full and meaningful, and can be a wholesome life. And we would pray that as we spend time together this week, that we will learn more of Thy ways within community and family and relationships in such a way that we will be better equipped to bring glory to Thy name when the week is over.

We just commend ourselves to Thee now in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.