Letter: 39e 79 G v Wigram, Plymouth, April 21st, 1845

p79 Dearest G V Wigram, - I thank you much for your note. My mind did pass through the same process of anxiety as that of which you speak, as far as anxiety went; a qualm crossing my mind that some work of the enemy, more thorough than I knew how to judge of, was at the bottom. But I found the ground of acting on scripture my resource, and that I had nothing to do with any feeling. I had but to bring them all before God. The result has been, the avowal by N. in the presence of the brethren, of much more than any one charged him with, though I did not doubt it was so - of what no one would adopt, or at least avow with him, and has made those who were not partisans declare their thankfulness that I came down, and that it was fairly brought out. I trust he will yet disavow it, and that all will be peace. At any rate, I believe decided good has been done. My conscience is as clear as the day, as to having avoided the smallest act approaching to hostile or party feeling - quite the contrary. I admit, that in manner I might have been more calm, though quite so in conduct, indeed, I have been not only calm, but as happy as possible, and at large in ministering, for God has been very graciously with me, though it was all very painful. But when I had done what I had to do, my soul had no more to say to it than if there were nothing. We are not yet out of the wood, as I hope we may be, because Newton has not yet disavowed the purpose he avowed, but I trust it may come to this, and our relations be unhindered as before. As to me, I have no complaint, he had done nothing against me. Certain women of our company are, I believe, very angry; but I come across nothing, but go on my way, tranquilly seeking to minister as much blessing to all as I can.

The meetings on Wednesday evenings, when I have lectured, are at least doubled, and that gradually, so I hope there is blessing. I do not hesitate to say it was all over with the brethren's meeting in unity, if that had gone on which was going on. I hope the common ground may yet be spared to us, but as I said, we are not out of the wood, and I do not holloa yet, but I trust the Lord, and am quite happy in confiding in Him. He has indeed already done more than I could ever have expected, and why should I distrust Him? Peace be with you all. I do believe that real blessing will result, though I do not say that the neck of party spirit is entirely broken, nor grace reigning in all hearts, but I hope for it, for who can measure the love of Christ to His body? St. Paul judged his own trial and pronounced his own acquittal unhesitatingly, the moment he sees it was for the good of the church.

Yours affectionately.

Plymouth, April 21st, 1845.

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