Using Our Words Wisely

in our speech. Ought to hear some more groans on that one. So that's what I'm going to speak about this morning, God willing.

So I'm going to read from three places, Proverbs 18.21, and I encourage you to reference it, to look at it if you have a Bible with you. Proverbs 18.21. Now this verse has been misused by Pentecostal and Charismatic teachers to say we can create whatever we want to through the confession of our mouth. That is error.

It's wrong, it's a misuse of Scripture. Proverbs 18.21 says death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. So that means our words do have the power to kill and destroy and tear down, or they have the power to create life and encouragement and build up.

Death can result, the death of a reputation, the death of someone's heart. Death is in the power of the tongue through our words, and life, encouragement, building up, edification, is in the power of the tongue. So that's the first one.

And then Psalm 19, verse 14, the last verse of Psalm 19 says this. It's a prayer. Let the words of my mouth and the meditations, motives of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.

I often will wake up and that verse will come to my mind because I know I'm gonna be speaking with my wife, with others, with grandchildren, and it just comes to my mind, you know, I can blow it today with my words. I can hurt my wife and I don't want to. I could speak wrongly.

I could get irritated. And so, Lord, let this day, let the words of my mouth and the motives and thoughts of my heart please you. That honors God if we pray that way.

I'll write the third and final one is James 1, verse 26. James 1, 26. This is a pretty riveting verse because it destroys religious hypocrisy.

Those who think they're religious or spiritual. James 1, 26 says, if any among you thinks he's religious, but does not bridle his tongue, they deceive their own hearts. Self-deceived.

If you think you can come and worship God on Sunday and cuss and abuse others with your tongue on Monday, you're self-deceived. James said that. If anyone among you thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue, but deceives his own heart, this one's religion is useless.

Better to not go to church than be like that person. All right, so I want to speak this morning on using our words wisely. This is a lifelong thing we have to conquer.

You know, sin started in the Garden of Eden with words, didn't it? The serpent comes subtly, wisely, lying, changing up the truth. Seems so plausible, seems so real. True.

True. Sin entered the world through words. So the story goes that a pastor was driving home from church one Sunday, his two young children in the backseat, and somebody cuts them off, and the pastor just has a critical word, followed by another critical word, followed by another.

When from the backseat, a young voice said, and there's another loving word from our pastor today. How many parents, or even grandparents, argue with one another wrongly within the hearing of these young ears that get made insecure and scarred through angry words? Words matter. Words are important.

Words have meaning. And you know, in our culture, they don't, right? I'm not going there. Words are exemplary in either for good or evil, right? Words reveal the heart of a person.

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Words have power either to save and help lives or destroy them.

You and I have all heard of stories of a false report being given about someone and they lose their job. And they're devastated because someone lies about them. Words matter.

And one of the most sobering and comprehensive words ever spoken by the Lord Jesus Christ was this verse. It ought to put terror in our hearts if we're loose with our tongue. I tell you, he said, on the day of judgment, every person will give an account for every idle and careless word they speak.

For by your words, you'll be justified and by your words, you'll be condemned. Now he doesn't mean, we use the word justified like we're justified by faith, right? That means at the judgment seat of Christ in that day, our words that we've spoken will declare if we were godly and righteous or not. People will give them an account for every idle and careless word they speak.

Now that ought to put the fear of God in our hearts about how we speak. Because if we have a pattern of speaking wrongly and rudely and harshly and angrily and sinfully, and we don't repent of it and change, we're storing up a big account. I'm telling you the truth.

Some of the cost of being disciple is real stuff. It's hard. It's hard to follow Christ, to mortify our sins, to put them to death, but we're called to, aren't we? Romans tells us that.

So think about some categories of our speech that can happen seven days a week. Boastful words, suggestive words, flirtatious speech, thoughtless and harsh words, deceitful and manipulative words, slanderous and hurtful words, words and stories we love to tell to gain reputation in the eyes of others, politically correct speech, lying, inaccurate words, angry and complaining words, impatient and critical words. The other day, I had to go to a grandson of mine at my home and I had to apologize to him.

Well, I got to apologize. I had to though. The Holy Spirit would not leave me alone.

I have to practice what I preach. Honestly, we do, don't we, Omar? If we want authenticity, we have to live what we profess and claim. I had to go to my grandson, Riley, who is 10, and I had to humble myself before him and say, Riley, I spoke wrong earlier.

It was wrong. I'm sorry for that. Would you forgive me? And children who love their parents or grandparents, they forgive easily.

Is this hitting home with you? He's laughing hard. So, how about this one? The habit of interrupting people. Oh boy, now we're getting somewhere.

I've stopped preaching and I've started deprying now. And I'm guilty. It is so easy to just interrupt and finish somebody's sentence because you think you know what they were going to say.

And so when people do that to me, and what they say has nothing to do with what I was going to say, I say, well, hold on. What I was going to say was this. Someone asked your spouse a question and you answer quickly for them.

That's rude. Being quick to speak and slow to hear rather than what the Bible says. Be quick to hear and slow to speak.

Many people talk too much, including believers. It's just the truth. Words spoken to please men are spoken from the fear of man.

But a lot of times it's just, you know, we got to win the argument. We got to get the last word in. We got to beat the Armenian in the debate.

They're not getting this stuff by. I'm going to have the last word. Yeah, you got the last word, but you're arrogant and you were condescending toward him.

So why would he want to believe your reformed faith? How many verses in Proverbs speak about our words? A lot. Sometime I read the proverb of the day of the month as a habit. And one time when I started over, I said, you know, I'm going to underline every place where Solomon speaks of words or speech.

And I was astounded at the end of the month, at how much ink I had used. It's throughout some chapters, it's every verse almost. So I want to toss out a few of these and I want you to meditate on these and then we'll have some application, all right? A few of Proverbs that speaks about our words.

Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. That's Proverbs 13. A fool's mouth is his ruin.

So words either destroy or they preserve a person's life. A gentle answer turns away anger, but harsh words stir up anger. If we can learn by the Holy Spirit's help to give a soft answer rather than a harsh, irritable one, it will calm the storm.

But angry words destroy friendships, marriages, families, churches, jobs, and careers. And the Bible says in the multitude of words, sin is not lacking. Too much talking.

The incessant talking and posting online, you know, just to talk online, there may be a separate thousand years at the judgment seat just for online talking. It's horrendous. But you laugh, but are you guilty of it? Are you contributing? This is serious, brethren.

It's very serious. Proverbs 18, two says, a fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in making their opinion known. Oh, well.

Someone said, one of the first thing that happens when someone is filled with the Holy Spirit is not to speak in tongues, but rather to control the tongue they already have. I like that. It's just the truth.

The truth hurts, but the truth is wonderful. When the Lord saved me when I was 19, one of the first jobs I had was in a place that many of you do not even know this existed. It was called a full service gas station, full service convenience store, where there were actually people come and pump your gas for you and wash your windshield and check your tires.

They worked there. And so you also, so I had to learn how to change flats. And so I was in the shop fixing this flat and a tire tool came down on my thumb really hard.

So the first word that came out of my mouth was a four letter word. I had been saved a month and I was in such pain, both here and here. And I got more pain in my heart for that coming out of my mouth because I was a new creature in Christ.

I had had a wonderful turning to the Lord Jesus Christ. He had transformed me and delivered me. And that was August of 1973.

And by the grace of God alone, I have never uttered another curse word since August of 1973. Now thought some, but they never exited. You know, they pop in or they come by like a mosquito or a fly and they buzz at you and you just swat them away.

So words have influence, the Bible says, with those who are in authority. Proverbs 16, righteous lips are the delight of the King. And He loves him who speaks what is right.

Words are medicine, can be medicine, and they bring comfort and healing. Proverbs 16 says, gracious words are like the honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to others. Words are what normally get people into trouble.

A fool's lips walk into a fight. One of my sons went to a university in Texas. And so he's walking down the street and there was some drunk guys coming out of a bar and they smarted off.

And so he just couldn't resist turning and saying something to him. And my son was an all-state high school football player, but three against one, it's not a good odds. Well, so when I saw him sitting, he had this black eye.

I said, what happened? He said, well, he told me. And I said, well, you know, son, I'm glad you stood up for the person that they were being rude to, but you know, a fool's lips walk into a fight. So sometimes better to hold your tongue, you know.

Now, not always, obviously there's issues, but often foolish words produce a fight. And it's not wise. A fool's mouth is his ruin and his lips are a snare to his soul.

Gossip, how about that one? Gossip is enjoyable to the slanderer and to the listener. The words of the whisperer are like delicious morsels. Did you hear what happened to her? I just couldn't believe it.

Now don't tell anybody, but, and then 40 people hear it before the evening, see. Delicious morsels, a gossip loves to tell things and spread things. Words bring either a good or a bad harvest often.

Proverbs 18 says a man's belly will be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth and with the increase of his lips, he will be filled. Our words produce about us either a good reputation or a bad reputation of others. Your reputation with others, where you live, where you work, who you relate to, who you hang out with, your words form their opinion of you.

And they either see about you, well, he's dishonest or he's arrogant or he's prideful or he's manipulative. Your words shape your reputation with others and mine. Sometimes I just envy people who can't speak at all.

Now I'm kind of saying that tongue in cheek, but you know, what I mean is, oh, that I could have at times been unable to speak. But because I could speak, I spoke what I regretted later. But words go out, as Proverbs 25 says, like arrows and you can't retrieve them.

You post something, people see it, it's too late. You say something and it hurts, it's too late. And the wound is there even though if you know you were wrong and you apologize, the wound is still there.

Words should be good and timely, fitting the occasion. Proverbs 25 says, a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a sitting of silver. Lying, it's so easy to lie by misrepresenting something, but lying is destructive.

A man who bears false witness against another is like a war club, a sword or a sharp arrow, quarreling words. It is better, the Bible says, to live in the corner of the housetop than in a house with a quarrelsome woman. Now guys, you don't get off the hook.

A quarrelsome man can be as quarrelsome as a quarrelsome woman and both are equally miserable to live with. For lack of wood, the fire goes out and where there is no whisper, quarrels cease. Anybody getting under conviction yet? This is just Solomon speaking.

This has to get in the grassroots of how we treat our spouses and our people in our workplace and how we speak to our neighbors and friends. They need to see a difference in us. This is part of what it means to be salt and light.

Do actions speak louder than words? Well, yes, they can, but let me add a new layer to that. Your tongue can undo everything you do with your actions. The timing of words is important.

There's a time to keep silent and a time to speak. Even a fool, when he keeps his mouth shut, appears to be wisdom, wise, the Bible says. Words are the means of willful deception of others, Proverbs 26.

Whoever hates someone, disguises his lips and harbors deceit in his heart. When he speaks graciously, believe him not. Young ladies who want to be married, young men who want to be married, just because they speak good and graciously, don't be fooled by words.

Any arrogant, foolish person can talk good. They want to impress you. Psalm 55, same thing.

His speech is smooth as butter, yet war is in his heart. His words are smoother than oil, yet they are drawn swords. Boastful words.

Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day will bring. We had a young man in our church. His name was Asher.

Love, he died a week ago Monday of a brain seizure. Suddenly, family was at church on the Lord's day two weeks ago today. Monday, he dies.

Monday morning at home. One little brother named Simeon, who's six, they were best friends, and Asher wouldn't say a lot. He was a little timid, eight years old, but he truly, he had come to know the Lord Jesus Christ.

And at home, he felt free, and he loved to memorize Scripture. And he loved hymns. His favorite hymn, which we sang at the memorial service, all the young people in our church sang as a choir at his memorial, his favorite hymn.

I will arise and go to Jesus. He will embrace me in his arms. In the arms of my dear Savior, oh, there are 10,000 charms.

Asher would go around his house, singing hymns and quoting Scripture. And the two weeks before he died, he had been working on memorizing all of Philippians chapter four. And he was sweet.

Now that little boy could have been a critic, a gossip, mean with his words. And he wasn't. And it was such a joy to the church and his parents to rejoice in the character that he displayed, even as an eight-year-old.

Self-flattery words, let another praise you and not your own mouth. Hasty words. Do you see a man hasty in his words? There's more hope for a fool than for him.

So the Christian, the Bible says, as a general rule, speaks right things, or at least we endeavor to. Psalm 37, the mouth of the righteous utters wisdom, in his tongue is to speak what is just. At the heart of our words is the issue of our heart.

We need to learn to be slow to speak and quick to hear. We need to learn to be cautious about what we're gonna say. So we need to keep our heart with all diligence, for from it flows the issues of life, especially your words.

So how do we keep our heart with diligence regarding our word? By way of application, in closing, I'm gonna give you eight or nine things that how we apply this. How do we keep our heart with diligence? How do we improve more carefully this area of sanctification of our speech? All right? Number one, take the responsibility of your words personally and seriously. Take the responsibility of your words personally and seriously.

We don't take our speech serious enough. We're so used to talking. I mean, they say, they ran the data one time on it that women will say twice as many words in a day as men.

Well, that's because men don't listen and women have to repeat most things to their husbands. So we use a lot of words, but how many of them honor Christ? We don't know. But it's time to man up and woman up and get serious about our sanctification right down in this area of our speech.

So number one, take the responsibility of your words seriously and personally. Number two, remember always that God pre-knows your words. Psalm 139, even before a word is on my tongue, oh Lord, you know it all together.

He knows what you can say for you say it. So, you know, that's a heart check. Be careful what you say.

Remember always the Lord pre-knows all your words. Number three, fearing God means that you increasingly hate bad speech. Psalm 8, the fear of the Lord is to hate evil.

God says, perverted speech I hate. Fearing God means you increasingly hate bad speech. Cursing of any kind.

It's just not necessary. It's not manly. It's not, it doesn't display character.

So let's just put it off. Why do it? If you're a believer, be exemplary in all areas of your life. Because if you don't fear God, you won't hate ungodly speech.

If you're loose with your tongue regularly as a pattern, you don't fear the Lord. All right, number four, cultivate an attitude of being quick to hear and slow to speak. That's a discipline.

Let's learn to be guarded in our speech. I was in a Q and A one time and I was asked a question and I was taking some moments to consider it. I mean, in a Q and A, you know, 10 seconds can seem like a long time.

And one of the other guys said, you want me to answer? I was fixing to answer. And I said, go ahead. He couldn't wait.

So cultivate an attitude of being quick to hear and slow to speak. I want to read you from Ecclesiastes chapter five. You can note it because it's worth memorizing it and learning it.

Ecclesiastes chapter five, the first two verses. Ecclesiastes, is that in the New Testament? Okay, I'm just checking how much you know your Bible. Ecclesiastes five, verses one and two says this.

Walk prudently when you go to the house of God and draw near to hear rather than to give the sacrifice of fools. For they do not know that they do evil. Do not be rash with your mouth and let not your heart utter anything hastily to God.

Zip it at times rather than say things that will displease the Lord. Next, number five. Intentionally cultivate gracious and edifying words.

Intentionally cultivate in your language gracious and edifying words. What did Luke say about the words of our Lord? He said, they marveled at the gracious words coming out of his mouth. Colossians 4, six says, let your speech be always gracious, seasoned with salt, meaning good tasting words, good hearing words, so that you may know how to answer each person.

Let your speech be gracious. Ephesians 4, 29, let no corrupt communication come out of your mouth, except that which is good that it may minister grace to the hearers. That's a high bar there.

It's a high standard. We got a lot of work to do. Next, develop your speech as a tool of grace and blessing and encouragement.

God gave you a tongue to speak words of life, not words of death, to speak words of truth and righteousness, not lies and sin. And He gave you two ears to hear twice as much as you talk. So may God sanctify our tongues and our speech, but our hearts have to be changed to speak better.

Our words either glorify God or they don't. Our words build up others or they tear them down. So are your words in the workplace honorable to your employers and your colleagues at work? Are they honorable? Are they accurate? Are they truthful? Do they know he or she is a person of integrity because of how they speak? Are your words to your unconverted friends gracious and caring? Your extended family that are lost, have you harshly, judgmentally preached down to them and told them they're going to hell so often that you've just been a jerk for Jesus rather than really being a good influence, exemplary? Your words discourage or encourage, hurt or heal your wife, your husband, your children, your friends and your brethren.

Our words, this isn't original with me, but it's wonderful. Here's a measure about our words. Are they true? Are they necessary? Are they helpful? And number four, does Jesus like what he's hearing coming out of my mouth? Our words, are they true, necessary, helpful? And is the Lord pleased with them? So here's what I'm calling myself and you to do today.

Repent. Be honest with God about your loose tongue, your slothful speech, your lackadaisical attitude about how important this is. The Bible is filled with admonitions and wisdom and exhortations and warnings about the Christian's speech.

A Christian should never post something or say something that is clearly narcissistic, prideful, unexemplary, worldly and self-centered ever. So if you're in a pattern of living this way, repent today before the Lord and let this day be a beginning of transformation. Read Proverbs every day closely and mark those verses and pray through them and ask the Holy Spirit, Lord, let the words of my mouth be changed and transformed.

Oh, Holy Spirit of God, forgive me and wash me from my tongue being given to evil. 1 Peter 3 says, whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceit. Number seven, set a goal to be an example in your speech.

George Mueller, have you ever heard of George Mueller? One of his big sins before he became a Christian, he was a thief. He would stay in a hotel or a boarding house and back then you'd check in and you'd pay before you leave. Well, not today, but back then.

Well, he would stay and he would sneak out early while it was still dark and he had a free room. He would steal. George Mueller would steal easily.

He enjoyed it, it was his besetting sin. When the Lord saved him, God so transformed him day by day, month after month, year after year, that he became exemplary with money and possessions and you may know the story, Mueller went on to establish large orphanages in Bristol, England and by the time he didn't ask for money for the orphans, they would pray and God would provide. And by the time Mueller died, when he was 90 something, God had provided through prayer into George Mueller's hands the equivalent of $75 million.

And so God transformed Mueller from being a thief to millions of dollars to care for orphans. Look, if your besetting sin is your speech, the Lord knows and He loves you. Be honest with Him.

Do some homework this week. Spend more time with Jesus than you do on the internet. Or with people and get before the Lord and ask Him to create in you a clean heart.

And above all, two more applications. Above all, use your words for Christ and for the gospel and for the kingdom. You'll have less to give an account for in the day of judgment.

Idle words, we don't want them, don't need them. Careless words, don't want them, don't need them. And then finally, the prayer, we ought to always be praying, it's what I started out with.

Lord, let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart increasingly please you. Search me, oh God, and know my heart. Try me and test me and know my thoughts and see if there be any wicked way in me and cleanse me and lead me in the way everlasting.

If we're reformed Christians, guess what needs real reformation? I'm telling you the truth. May God help us. Amen, let's pray.

Father, your word digs deep right where we need it. So would you graciously with your love and your strength and your assistance and your help change us in how we speak? Make us like our savior in our words and change our hearts.