The prodigal's father: What a father should be

My name is Max McLean from the Oil Springs Assembly in Oil Springs, Ontario, near Sarnia. No one knows where Oil Springs is. And I appreciate being here today.

And I would like to read some prevailing story in Luke 15. And we'll pretty well have to read the whole story to get what I got to say about it. Luke 15 and reading at verse 11.

And he said, a certain man had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that fall to me. And he divided unto them his living.

And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together and took his journey into a far country and there wasted his substance with riotous living. And when he had spent all there arose a mighty famine in that land and he began to be in want. And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.

And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks of the swine that eat, but no man gave unto him. And when he came to himself, he said, how many of my hired servants of my father's have bred enough in despair and I perish with hunger. I will arise and go to my father and say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and before thee.

And I'm no more worthy to be called thy son, make me as one of thy hired servants. And he arose and came to his father, but when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and I say to him, no more worthy to be called thy son.

But the father said to his servants, bring forth the best robe and put upon him, put a ring in his hand and shoes on his feet and bring hither the fatted calf and kill it and let us eat and be merry. For this my son was dead and is alive again. He was lost and is found.

And they began to be merry. Now the elder son was in the field and he came and drew nigh to the house. He heard music and dancing and he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant.

And he said to him, my brother has come and my father has killed the fatted calf because he had received him safe and sound. And he was angry and would not go in. Therefore his father came out and then treated him.

And he answering said to his father, lo these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment and yet thou never gave me a kid that I might make merry with my friends. But as soon as this thy son was come, which had devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf. And he said unto him, son, thou art ever with me and all that I have is thine.

It was meet that we should be merry and make glad. For this thy brother was dead and is alive again. He was lost and is found." I believe that God has given us here.

We, I preached this gospel so many times, the gospel from this chapter about the prodigal. And maybe said a few words different times about the elder son. But you know, I don't think we, I have heard very much in 57 years in a fellowship about the father.

And I believe that God has given to us a model of what a godly father should be. And I wrote down seven things that this boy was, or this father was. You know, I remember being, I think at the Boston conference and I don't know who got up, but he was talking in his ministry and he told a little story about his father.

His father had died at the hospital. And he said, I went the next morning to the house, his house to get his suit and things for the funeral home. And when I drove in the driveway, across the road was his neighbor out doing some work in the lawn.

So I walked over to him and I said, I just want to tell you that dad went home to heaven yesterday. And this is what the man said to him, the neighbor. Well, he said he didn't go far.

He lived right beside it all the years that I knew him. What a thing to say. So I want to talk about the fathers, a godly father.

I believe God has given us good instructions what a godly father would be. But then what about mother? Should she be any different? Shouldn't she, couldn't you put mother in here? What about you grandma and grandpa? Now I know you don't have the influence over your children. We had five children.

I've got 17 grandchildren and eight greats. And I found out last week more on the way. So we know what we have a little experience.

And I know that my daughter, Elizabeth, she said to me, she's the three boys are saved and in the meeting, but she said, Dad, the boys respect you. Please give them some little more guidance than you do. And I talked to them and I send them some things.

I know I don't have the influence the parents have, but grandma and grandpa, you have an influence. What about you fathers in the assembly? Can I put you in here? Sure I can. I had five children.

Maybe the assembly that you were in, you got 50 or 40 or 20. Your father's in the assembly. You've got family here.

And mother? Sure. You know, I got a wife said I don't break up because I've known a few. And when I think of this immediately, what comes to my mind is dear Flo Cancier, you wouldn't know her most likely here, but she was from Northern Ontario.

And I went to Ukraine with her for five different times. Howard Pratt and different. My wife even went twice.

I never met more than any of the men I knew. What a godly woman. She was such an example.

And I watched that woman at work over there. Six months a year. She was over there working.

And she had to come back because they'd cut off her pension. She didn't have anything. She got the supplement on her old age pension.

And you only got that if you didn't make $13,000 a year. And that woman got the supplement. And she worked for God.

She was a wonderful lady. Can I include you mothers in the assembly here? You know, the first thing I'll say about him, I believe he was a loving father. You know, there's no one in your life that you'll influence more than those children of yours.

And I know mine's all gone. There's some here that I see the little ones. And you people will never influence anyone more than those children of yours.

And he was a loving father. I made the big mistake by not telling my children enough that I loved them. When it comes to criticizing, I think I could do seminars on it.

But you tell them you love them. And I learned a little bit, but the children were gone. And Tammy, Sri, Jennifer, and Michael, and Sarah was our place different times for the weekend.

And I told them I loved them. One time I was sitting in my chair, and Sarah was the little one. She'd be maybe six.

And she was running around. And I said, Sarah, come here. She'd come over.

And I said, did grampy ever tell you he loved you? And she said, yeah, grampy, you've told me. I said, good. And about 10 minutes later, she was walking around.

And she came close. I said, Sarah, come here. I said, did grampy ever tell you he loved you? She looked at me, and she said, yes, grampy, you've told me.

So where she went. Well, about 10 minutes later, she got walking by again. And I said, Sarah, come here.

She'd come over. And I said, did grampy ever tell you he loved you? And she looked at me and said, grampy, you've already told me that. So I knew I had to change my tactics.

So I said, yeah, but did I say it like I meant it? And she let that sink in. And she said, yeah, grampy, you said it like you meant it. And she left me and went out where Adele was.

And she told me, Adele told me later, she said, grandma, grampy's really getting old. He can't remember anything anymore. Well, that's all right.

But you tell them. You tell those children of yours that you love them. They want to hear it.

And they want to hear it from you. And if you don't tell them, somebody else is going to tell them. I've got my oldest son who's 63 years of age.

And I talked to him. I put my hand on him. I say, Mike, I love you.

You tell them that you love them. This man here, he made the mistake. But this young boy, he left.

He left in body, but he didn't leave in mind. Left the home. I remember Mr. Ramsey in PEI.

He said, I remember speaking to ministry, the first one, when George Albert left the first of the family to leave. And he pulled the old Volkswagen up in front and lifted the bonnet. And out he came with some clothes.

And he came out with his hockey stick and skates, got his radio ahead in his room. And as I stood there, he said and watched him put all these things in the car. I said to myself, what's he really taken out of this house? Everything he's put in so far in 10 years will be gone.

What's he really taken out? Have you put something in there for your family? Something our father that will do them when they get into a bad place. You know, I believe he was an approachable father. Approachable.

You see, the son could have sneaked away, but he didn't. He went to his father. Now, I was raised in a good home, unsaved.

I was the first one in my family to get saved at 27. But I know this. If I had went to my father with this boy, I didn't want to play that little game we used to play as children.

Mother, may I take three giant steps backwards? Because I didn't need to take them if I had said this to my dad. But he was approachable. Are you approachable? I said to a boy one time, a while ago, well, ask your dad.

He said, no, he's asking dad. It'll be no. It's always no.

What about you as fathers in the assembly here? Are you approachable? Even when they bring something you don't want to hear and come to you, how do you treat it? Like this dad did? Can you follow this father when it comes to that? You know, we can send people to the moon, and I get on Skype, and I talk to Edmund Johnson in the Ukraine, and you can talk around the world. But can you talk around the kitchen table to them? You need to. We used to sit with the children after supper and hear their little complaints and whatever it was.

You talk to them. You remember the boy that was, they came to him and his father in the field, and they said, your son is sick. And what did he say? Take him to his mother.

What is more interesting in the crop than his own son? You know, you'd be approachable. This father was approachable, and he was approachable even from the pig pen. You know, there'll be some here today that's got children, and they haven't boarded your van to go get pick up the children for Sunday school.

This never happened very often, but sometimes the phone rang at three in the morning, and you put the coffee pot on, and you didn't sleep the rest of the night, and you listen to them through tears, their tears, as they tell you what had happened. But you know, at the end of it, what all was said and done, it was nice that he could say, well, you can come home, you know. I hope there's nobody here that's listening to me that knows what I'm talking about.

But he was approachable, even from the pig pen. But he was a discerning father. He was able to see when things aren't quite right in the home.

How was it in your home? You fathers in the assembly, do you know what's going on in the assembly? Can you see the little signs of discontent? Something isn't right. You know, I'm not going to get into the story, because I'll just tell you, I kept some, I had a little hobby farm. I worked in Sarnia, and I didn't know much about sheep, but I kept about 50 ewes.

And there was a man down the road that he knew all about sheep, and I thought they were great. He come and looked at me, and he said, Max, you've got trouble with your sheep. I said, all right.

He said, no, a little bit of wool on these. And some of it was straggly and straggly, and I'd noticed it, but I just thought that's what was wrong. And he came over these healthy sheep, and their wool was wavy, and he said, put your hand through the wool.

And I went like that, and he said, what's your hand? It was all oily, lanolin. He said, that's normal. He said, you've got to get mineral, and let them take the mineral.

They'll take it. And I did, and they come healthy. The wool was nice.

You see, what was happening on the outside, some people say in the assembly, and I agree with our brother when he give this ministry, brother, that was not negative ministry. They say, well, it doesn't, it's just on the outside, inside, God looks at. But sometimes you can see things on the outside, like this man saw on the wool of my sheep.

There's something wrong, Max. He said, on the inside, you've got to fix that. And this boy, when he got down so low, that he had to look up to see his bootstraps, he thought of his father.

And when he thought of his father, he thought of heaven. And when he thought of heaven, he thought of his father. What's he thinking of, Dad? What's he thinking of, Mom? Is it there? When all hope is gone, there should be love in the home.

I had a brother, Don. He died with cancer at 31 years of age, two little girls, Patsy and Ann. And he had cancer of the lung, and it was in the 60s.

And he just said, I want to come home to die. So they took him home to Brigden, and he died. Why didn't he die in the hospital? Love was in the home.

You know, you tell them you love them. He was an affectionate father. He ran and he kissed them.

Manhood doesn't deserve or use coldness. Some men that I know, they think they're more spiritual if they're cold. I like to look at Paul, and I underline him anymore.

What better elder, brother, whatever you want to call them, good names. He knew, he discerned, he was strong. He didn't take anything.

But you read how many times did he cry. With tears, he cried and told the people of God he loved them. You know, to be spiritual isn't to be hard.

You can be a loving elder in the assembly, a loving man in the home, but you show a little affection to your children. He was an affectionate father. He was a father who was assuring.

He ran to meet them. I heard a man preach the gospel on this. I've heard it hundreds of times, but I liked what he said.

He said, you know, when he decided to go home, he started to walk. And when he got closer to home that people knew him, he said the neighbor woman was out in her garden doing the hoeing. She looked up and she saw him, and she ran to the road and said, you, you pig.

What are you doing back here? You broke your father's heart. Get up. You think he'll want you? Get back.

She said, I should hit you with this club. And he got out of her way and he went to the next one who was the same and finally sat down on a rock. He said, they're right.

Who'd ever want me? And he got up and he turned to walk back when he heard the voice. And I can break down that because God was the same for me. Of all the people that sits here, I can see, I can see where, I know what the Bible says, but I can see where he'd save you or you.

But to think he'd save me. It broke my heart 58 years ago on the night of April the 4th, 1960. And it breaks my heart to tell you because I have a loving father.

He was a father who was forgiving. No past brought up. He was all forgiven.

You know, Peter came to the Lord and he said, Lord, he said, how many times will my brother offend me and I forgive him? Seven? Do I got to count them? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. And the Lord said to him, Peter, the very fact that you ask this question tells me you don't know nothing about this. The 70 times seven.

Peter, you said, if your brother offends you and you forgive him, you forgive him. How many times is that? Once. And tomorrow he comes along and he does the same thing.

And you hear his sobs and you forgive him. How many times is that? Twice. No, Peter.

That's one. You see, I said, forgive him from the heart, from the heart. It's wiped out, Peter.

And if he comes the next day and he does the same thing and you forgive him. How many times that, Peter? Three. No, no, Peter, it's one.

It's always one. If you forgive from the heart, it's wiped out. This father wiped it out.

He was a level-headed father. We read that they were in the place. They had lots to eat and drink, happy.

And one of the servants come in and said, your other son's out there and we invited him in, but he won't come. So the father went out in front of all these people that were out there and that son walked over to him. And he said, listen, old man, I got a few things to say to you.

He said, that other one, your brother, your son, not my brother, your son came with every filthy thing that he'd ever done and you forgave him. And I hear that you even killed that fat calf for him. Is that right? I want to tell you one thing, old man, I want to ask you, how did the calf get fat? Let me tell you.

It was because I fed him. That's how. And you give it to him and you wouldn't even give me a goat.

How do you react to that when you get it right in the face, not from a stranger, from somebody in the assembly that breaks bread with you? What do you do? Tell him that? This didn't. Well, he said, son, I think he could, I think he could have brought up a few things, but he didn't. He just said, everything I got's done.

So this father, this father who was, if I can find it, he was a loving father, an approachable father, a discerning father, an affectionate father, a reassuring father, a forgiving father, and a level-headed father. I believe that God has given us a wonderful example of what a father should be. May God bless you.