Not That I Loved Him, But Christ Loved Me First

There is something that scares me though. If you turn with me to Revelation chapter 14. I used to be scared of hell and I'm thankful for that because it taught me the fear of God.

That there is God and there is a hell. There is a place where one day those who have rejected Christ up to the point of his return, when God calls time on this earth and there will be no more opportunity for repentance, those who have rejected Christ will go to a place that is forsaken by God. Jesus spoke about it.

Many preachers today don't like to speak about it because it's unpopular and some even preach there is no such thing. How could a loving God allow for such a place like hell? I'll tell you honestly, I don't know the answer to that question because I don't know the love of God fully. Not because I have it wrong.

I don't know the love of God fully and that's why I can't with my little ant-sized brain comprehend how a God according to my understanding of love could create a place where everybody is forsaken by Him. I can't understand it. It's like an ant trying to understand calculus.

Impossible. Can't even understand 1 plus 1. Maybe some ants can figure out 1 plus 1 but they definitely can't understand algebra and trigonometry. And here we are.

The difference between an ant and a human being is very small compared to the difference between a human being and God Almighty. That's infinite. So I don't claim to be able to explain how the love of God has allowed for a place of eternal suffering where their worm does not die and their fire is not quenched.

But Jesus spoke about it and Jesus said heaven and earth will pass away but my words will not pass away so I take Jesus at His word. But I'm not afraid of hell anymore and children I want you to know you shouldn't be afraid of hell because God has made a way of salvation for you and you don't have to fear that. If you are in Christ there is no condemnation.

You don't have to have any fear at all of anything because nothing can separate you from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus. And so if you're in Christ Jesus the love of God nothing can separate you from that forever. Nobody can pluck you out of His hand.

Remember that. But now the thing that scares me is that the time may come where I won't follow Christ as closely. That when Jesus comes back at the end of time when He comes back to take His bride home I'll be far away from Him.

That's what scares me. I'll be honest with you. That at that moment when Jesus comes somehow because of a choice I've made or some way I've been living I will be far away from Christ.

Revelation chapter 14 verse 4 speaks about a remnant, a small group of people. The number is given here as 144,000. I don't believe it's a literal number because the book of Revelation is a symbolic book.

I believe it symbolizes a very small number. And my fear like I said there's only one thing I'm afraid of now. That is that I won't be in that small number.

I believe I'll be in heaven. I'm not I don't have any doubt of that. I have an assurance that I've been saved and that Jesus Christ has forgiven me of all my sins and I'm assured of an eternity in heaven with Him.

What I'm afraid of is that I will not be in this small number of people in heaven that the Bible talks about. And here was the characteristic of them. Revelation 14 verse 4. These are the ones who have not been defiled with women for they have kept themselves chaste.

Again speaking about spiritual defilement, spiritual adultery. Not been defiled with the seductive spirit of this world. They have kept themselves chaste.

These are the ones who follow the Lamb wherever He goes. Wherever Jesus went He followed, they followed Him. Wherever Jesus went they followed Him.

And my fear, I want to be honest with you, is a healthy fear and I hope it's a fear that you will have as well. Is that at some point having followed Jesus I will stop. He went somewhere and I didn't want to follow Him there.

That's my fear. And it's a reverential fear. It's a fear that keeps me sober.

It keeps me desiring to always fix my eyes on Jesus so that if He leads somewhere I'll know first of all that He's leading me there. I won't somehow fall for some other Jesus. A Jesus that's comfortable and doesn't have to take up its cross every day and doesn't have to deny itself himself every day.

I want to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus so that I know where He's going first of all. And then when I know that He's going into a place that's difficult for me, a place that presses me in, a place that's uncomfortable for me, a place that causes me loss and pain and suffering, that I won't shrink back from following Him there. These are those who follow, the ones who follow the Lamb wherever He goes.

These have been purchased from among men as firstfruits to God and to the Lamb. And no lie was found in their mouth. They were blameless.

This is my ambition. This is my goal. It's my fear that I will not, lest I be not be in that number.

And I believe it's that godly fear, that fear, that healthy fear. I'm not talking about being afraid in an unhealthy way, but a godly fear that I believe ultimately will help us preserve our lives. That we always check ourselves to make sure, am I following Jesus wherever He's taking me? Has Jesus led me this past week somewhere and I didn't want to go with Him there? Because you know when Jesus comes, it's going to be like the twinkling of an eye.

You know how many times your eye blinks in a day? Millions, I think. Millions. Maybe, maybe hundreds of thousands.

I don't know the exact. You have to do the math. Somebody who's good at math can calculate quickly multiple times in a second, I think.

How many seconds are there in a day? Whatever that number is. Maybe you subtract that at the time when your eyes are closed because you're asleep. But it's definitely tens, if not hundreds of thousands of times that your eyes blink.

It's just a short time, children. You know that, right? Just, you're not even aware. In fact, you could be looking at something and you blink and you're able to still continue reading because the blink happens so quickly.

And we're told in 1st Corinthians 15, verse 52, that Jesus coming will be like the twinkling of an eye. Just like that. Come and gone.

Come and gone. The trumpet will sound. Let's look at that.

1st Corinthians chapter 15. It won't be a long, prolonged blast and like, hey, get your act together. I'm coming.

Advanced warning. You know, like the trains, when they come into the station, they give you a warning about a minute or so beforehand. I'm coming.

Are you ready? Your bags packed? It won't be like that. The warning is now. The warning is recorded in his book.

When he comes and the trumpet sounds, it'll be the twinkling of an eye. Like that. 1st Corinthians 15, verse 52.

In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet, for the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable and we will be changed. In the twinkling of an eye. And at that moment, it will become too late to have followed Christ.

If you weren't following him. And that's what I say about the healthy fear that at that moment, when Christ comes and I hear the trumpet and it's the twinkling of an eye, I will be somewhere else, far away from Christ was leading me. He led me to set things right with my wife, with your husband.

He led you to forgive that person and to let them go. He led you to be freed from that bitterness or that unmerciful attitude, that judgmental attitude, that lust, that anger, that love of money, that jealousy, that aspiring for things of this earth. He was leading you to a life of freedom from that.

But you stopped. And Christ went on. And Christ went on and you slowed down a little bit.

Maybe you were still following him, but from a distance. And then Christ kept going and you're like, ah, Christ is over there. Somewhere I can see him.

And these are people who will be in heaven. And I hope you too will join me in that healthy fear, brothers and sisters at RLCF at least. That's what I'm interested in building here.

Not a group of people that just want to go to heaven. But a group of people who have a healthy fear that wherever Christ leads us, we will follow him. And if it's just a handful of us left, that's fine.

I'd rather that we be known as the 144,000. Now it's not just us. I hope you know that.

There are people all over the face of the earth. But let's make it our ambition, brothers and sisters, RLCF church family. This is what identifies us.

We don't have to have great things. We don't have to have good music or great preaching or nice building. Even if this building burns down or whatever.

Jesus must be here. Did you come here because you followed Christ here? Or, oh yeah, I have some friends here. Yeah, it's a nice place to be.

They have good Sunday school or this or that. I've been here for a number of years. Did you come here? Please answer this question for yourself.

Did you come here because Christ led you here this morning? If not, this is not the home for you. But I hope you're following Christ wherever he went. He's the one that's led you here.

See, there were some whom Jesus chose. In Mark 3, it says that Jesus chose them because he wanted them to be with him. It's a beautiful phrase about the 12 disciples.

He chose them. Mark 3 verse 14. He chose them because he wanted them to be with him.

Brothers and sisters, children, Jesus has chosen you because he wants you to be with him. That's it. Not because he wants you to take you to heaven.

You think Jesus, you know, Jesus didn't. Heaven's a big place. And I'm trying to describe it in earthly picture here.

I think of it like this. Jesus didn't die for me and give me such revelation of his word and allow me to come here to RLCF and be a part of a church where we hear such teachings for me to be some distance away from him in heaven. Did you get what I said? Jesus didn't sacrifice all.

He didn't give up all so that I would be somewhere in the distance from him in heaven. No. He gave up everything so that I would follow him wherever he went all the way to the end of his throne where he's seated, that I would follow him until the very end and I'd be sitting right next to him.

And I'm not saying that in a selfish way like, you know, Salome came and asked about her children, James and John. Lord, let them be sitting next to you. It's not a selfish thing.

It's a hope and an aspiration and a goal I have that you also can have as well. It's a healthy one. And it's very simply saying, Lord Jesus, I want to follow you wherever you go.

And you decide in heaven where I'm going to be seated. That doesn't matter. But I just want to be near you now and for all eternity.

This is what RLCF is about. And there were those who didn't get chosen, who weren't in the 12. What if you were not in the 12? Jesus said, many who were first will be last.

Many who are last will be first. What if you were, there was a group of people, men and women. Jesus picked out 12.

What if you were one of those that didn't get picked up? What would you do? Would you like, ah, you know how people in this earth react. If you're not included, they say, fine. Oh, you don't choose me.

Fine, I'll go somewhere else. I bet there were people who did that. They said, Jesus, you didn't pick me in my 12.

Fine, I'll go back to John the Baptist. Or I'll go back to Gamaliel. Or I'll go back to some other priest.

I'll go back to my Jewish lifestyle. You didn't pick me. That's fine.

What would you do if Jesus didn't pick you in the 12? Would you get offended? What if, would you do if God blesses somebody else in a way that you wish you would be blessed? Give somebody else a ministry that you wanted or a blessing, even if it's an earthly blessing. Give somebody else health and doesn't allow you to have it when you're the same age or younger. What will you do? Will you have a bitterness towards God? Lord, why are you treating me this way? Why are you allowing all those people to seemingly have a comfortable life and I'm going through this difficult time? And I thought of Mary Magdalene.

I think she was there when Jesus called the 12. It's my personal opinion. I don't know.

But there were certainly some women. It says in Matthew 27 that they followed him all the way from Galilee to the tomb. You see that? Matthew 27 when Mary Magdalene went with the other women to the tomb.

Verse 55. Matthew 27, 55. Many women were there looking on from a distance who had followed Jesus all the way from Galilee.

They weren't in the 12. Peter, James, John, etc., etc. 12 picked.

There's Mary and others. Some women. When we preach as is preached and taught in God's Word that God, that women are forbidden from teaching and exercising authority in the church.

A lot of women in Christendom get offended with that. And many churches, even biblical churches that used to be biblically based have gone away from that. It says, well, that was cultural and that's because of the culture of that time.

It's different now. Women ought to be able to teach and all that. I just take the Word of God as it is written.

But think about these women. Think about Mary, for example, who thought, Lord, why? It's not DEI, as they say today. The 12 you have are all men.

What about women, Lord? Mary didn't get offended. She said, Lord, I'm gonna follow you. You don't have to include me, Lord.

Just let me tag along. I'm gonna keep my eyes fixed on you. And if you don't give me a ministry, you don't send me out and give me authority to cast out demons or teach and all that, I won't be a pastor in a church.

That's fine, Lord. I just want to follow you. These were the women who followed Jesus from Galilee, not expecting anything, not expecting any ministry.

Very simply, they wanted to be with Jesus. And my dear brothers, these women are an example to us. Men who are desiring a ministry.

I want to do this. I want to do that. How come I don't get to do this? Well, we want more equality in the church and all that.

Take Mary Magdalene as an example, who didn't covet a ministry. She was very quiet, very quietly. She hardly said a word.

The only words you hear her saying is when she's looking for Jesus, because she can't find Him. The rest of the time, she's quiet. A meek and a quiet spirit.

Except when it came to, where's Jesus? I've lost sight of Him. You buried Him. You've taken Him away.

And like I said, many who are first will be last. You know who was in the 12 that got picked? Judas Iscariot. You know where he is today? He's in hell.

One of those who was picked lost sight of Jesus along the way, right? He started following Him, but then Jesus started to lead the 12 in a particular path. And Judas held back and says, no, no, I don't think that's right. Mary Magdalene followed.

Salome followed. Others followed. Other women followed.

Other men followed. And the other 11 followed, but Judas held back. And Jesus continued on.

Now Jesus wasn't going to sit there and comfort you and say, okay, hey, hold on, let me explain it to you and all that. No, I'm going, Jesus said. If you set your hand on the plow and turn back, you're not worthy of being my disciple, Jesus said.

Jesus' train is moving on. Now He wants you. He's long-suffering.

He's patient. He'll not forsake you. He'll comfort you, but you must decide to follow Him, whatever the cost.

And I thank God for these women who followed Him all the way from Galilee to Jerusalem. That's a long way. And I don't know what that journey was like for these women, but they followed Him.

And Mary was the first to see Jesus. Yeah. I thought it was here, but it's in John 20, I think, where we read about Mary.

Why did these women, why did Mary Magdalene follow Jesus? Jesus offered her nothing except Himself. Jesus is offering you something. What is it that you're looking for? You want a ministry? You want to preach? You want to lead music? You want a gift of tongues? You want some other renown? Or you want God to provide for all your needs here on this earth to ensure that you have enough money and your children have enough money? You want God to do that for you? Or are you like Mary Magdalene? What future did she have? What promise did she have? She said, Lord, simply I want to follow You.

You don't have to promise me anything else except that You will be there. And she followed Him all the way. John 20, we read when she comes to the tomb.

In verse 13, these angels said to her, Woman, woman, why are you weeping? Why are you weeping today, dear friend? Is it because there's some resentment or some hurt in the past? Somebody's done some wrong to you? Or a broken dream perhaps? Why are you weeping? Here's Mary weeping. She said, they asked her, Woman, why are you weeping? She said, They have taken away my Lord. That's it.

I've lost sight of Jesus. That's why I'm weeping today. I don't, the money and the savings and the broken dreams and how people have treated me and all the things they're saying about me, that, that's, I don't care about that.

They've taken away my Lord. I've lost sight of Him. And I don't know where they have laid Him.

And when she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there and still didn't recognize Him. Did not know that it was Jesus. Verse 15, Jesus said to her, Now Jesus said to her, Woman, why are you weeping? Who are you seeking? And she thought, it's a gardener.

Now here's a woman who was once upon a time had seven demons in her and had been cast out. She doesn't want a comfortable life. She doesn't want marriage.

She doesn't want anything else except, Lord, where are you? And sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have laid Him and I will take Him away. There's nobody else here. I don't know how I'm gonna carry Jesus.

Peter, James and John, they're out there locked away in some room. Peter's on his pity pot. He wants to go back to fishing.

But I'm here, Lord. I wasn't in the twelve that you called. But I don't know how I'm gonna carry a body.

I just want to be near you. And then Jesus said to her, Mary. She turned and said to Him in Hebrew, Rabboni.

What a beautiful picture. They have taken away my beloved and don't know where he is. See, this is that bridal relationship that Jesus is longing for us to come into.

Earlier in John chapter 15, He speaks about this and describes it this way. John 15 verse 4, Abide in me. Or I would say, be married to me.

That's what Jesus is saying. Just abide in me. Don't abide in me.

For me, you know, it used to be, okay, I'm in Christ. I used to think of it as like my sins are forgiven. I'm going to heaven, all that.

No. Abiding in me means I'm in Christ and that's all I want. I'm at rest there in Jesus and I don't want Him to add anything else to it.

Not abide in me plus a comfortable life. Abide in me plus no problems. Abide in me plus health.

Abide in me plus... Abide in me and I in you. And that's enough. And then He says in verse 11 that I've spoken these things that you would have joy.

That your joy may be made full. And I want to tell you, my dear brothers and sisters, what I'm learning is that the reason that often my life is sometimes lacking in joy is because I've added something else to Jesus. When I'm abiding in Jesus, it's joy.

I tell you this very simply. If you are abiding in Jesus and He's abiding in you and you don't have anything else mixed into it, your life will be full of joy. That's it.

And if for some reason you had a bad mood this last week or for some reason there was a little bit of a cloud hanging over you, I want to tell you it's because you added something else into your life besides Jesus. That's it. Not because they said something to you or something didn't go the right way or you messed up at work or... No.

It's very simply you added something to Jesus. And the moment you add something to Jesus, joy is going to go away. Abide in me and I in you and your joy will be made full.

That's what Jesus is saying. And Paul came to this place where he says in Philippians 2, I've learned to count everything else as filth, as dung. Why? Because Paul says when I added it I found that it brought sadness and heaviness.

Oh I'm upset about this and I'm in a bad mood today and there's a heaviness in my life. Why? Because I added some dung. I added some manure onto my food.

No wonder the food tastes bad. And I found it and I've learned to count all things as dung except Christ that I know him and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of his sufferings. And I've learned that as long as I keep it to just Christ and Christ alone, it's joy.

It tastes good. Oh taste and see that the Lord is good. Nothing else is good.

And now dear brothers and sisters, I want a life of 24-7 joy. And I've discovered that the reason that's not been the case at times is because I added something else to him. This is the story.

This is the journey that we see in the book of the Song of Songs. Song of Solomon. Let's turn there.

You know what that is children? Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and then the Song of Songs. Some Bible call it the Song of Solomon. Now it is the Song of Solomon in the Bible.

Solomon wrote it but it's the song of all songs as it were. It's the song of Jesus and his bride. Song of Songs.

And here we read. You can read the whole book sometime. It's a wonderful book.

It's very short. Eight chapters. But let's read in Song of Songs chapter 2 verse 16 says, My beloved is mine.

Now this is a picture of a bride and his groom. And there's a conversation between the two. Involving the two and then sometimes the bride talks to others and the bride groom talks to others.

But it's primarily describing this love relationship between Jesus and you. This book pictures the love relationship between Jesus and you. Where Jesus is everything for you and you are everything to Jesus as it were.

It's a beautiful picture. The way Jesus looks at you. The way the bride looks at Jesus is a picture of how you ought to be looking at Jesus.

And she gets. She's at this place in Song of Songs 2 verse 16. My beloved is mine and I am his.

It's a wonderful phrase. Perhaps you're there. Jesus is mine.

My beloved is mine and I am his. But you know what happens after that? You think well that's a good thing. My beloved is mine and I am his.

We sing that song too sometimes. It's a wonderful phrase. My beloved Jesus is mine and I am his.

But if you read the rest of the story when you continue on in chapter 3 and chapter 4. You read that it's an up and down life. For example chapter 2. In chapter 2 for example verse 4. He has brought me to his banquet hall. His banner over me is love.

You read in verse 8. Listen my beloved behold he is coming climbing on the mountains leaping on the hills. My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag. Behold he is standing behind our wall.

He's looking through the windows. He's peering through the lattice. My beloved responded and said to me arise my darling my beautiful one and come along.

So he's inviting her to come along. But then you read. She says my beloved is mine and I am his.

But then you read in chapter 3. We get to chapter 3. You think this is a wonderful life. But the bride has not yet tasted of the love of this bridegroom in a way that that's the only love she desires. She hasn't come to the place where she's abiding in her bridegroom and he's enough.

So she gets to the place. Now she's on her bed by herself. On my bed chapter 3 verse 1. Night after night I sought him.

What happened? My beloved is mine. I am his. Chapter 2 verse 16.

But a few verses later chapter 3 verse 1. She's on her bed. Night after night I sought him whom my soul loves. I sought him but did not find him.

And so she arises chapter 2 verse 3 verse 2. Go about the city in the streets and in the squares. I must seek him whom my soul loves. I sought him but did not find him.

You see here an up-and-down life. The watchman who made verse 3 made the rounds in the city found me. And I said have you seen him whom my soul loves? Scarcely had I left them when I found him whom my soul loves.

And here she finds him again. I held on to him and would not let him go until I brought him to my mother's house and into the room of her who had conceived me. Okay you think well she's found him now.

She says I'm never gonna let him let him go. Well chapter 4. Here we read about how I just want you to see one verse here. Chapter 4 verse 7. You are altogether beautiful my darling and there is no blemish in you.

If you were to just hear that verse without reading in its context who would you think is talking? See sometimes it's difficult. Maybe your Bible says it's the bride talking and the bridegroom talking. My Bible doesn't but you have to read the whole and my margin does actually.

But you have to read the whole thing in its context to know who's talking. If you heard somebody say you're altogether beautiful and there's no blemish in you and it's a conversation between you and Jesus who would you think is the one speaking? I think you're likely to say yeah it's me saying Jesus you're altogether beautiful. There's no fault in you.

You love me so perfectly. But you know this is Jesus speaking to you. You are altogether beautiful my darling Santos.

Jesus says to me. Now put your name there. You're altogether beautiful my darling and there is no blemish in you.

I know you think there's a blemish in you. I know you know what it was like last week. I know you know all the thoughts and you know all the motives and you know all the things that are wrestling on your mind but Jesus looks at you with eyes of love and says you're altogether beautiful my darling.

There's no blemish in you. No blemish in you. I took it all away.

You think that'd be enough. Well skip down to chapter 5. Here she is again alone. She said she would never let go of him like all of us have at some point.

I'm never gonna let go of you Lord. You saved me this time. You set me free.

I'm never gonna fall back into that old habit. I'm never letting go of you again and here we find her in chapter 5 again. I was asleep but my heart was awake and where was her beloved? Outside the door.

Jesus said in Revelation 3 to a church that once upon a time he was sitting in the midst of. He says behold I stand at the door and knock. How did Jesus end up outside the door? Jesus let them somewhere but they didn't go.

They didn't follow him. He says it's time to go. You know she took him to her mother's house it says.

She took says that Jesus I want you to come along with me to my life. I want to include you into my life, my mother's house, my things. Lord I'll pray before my meal and I will hope that you will bless my job and I hope you'll bless my vacation that I'm about to go on to.

I want to add you to all these things I'm about to do. My mother's house. Jesus said no I can't be a part of, I can't be mixed with anything here on this earth.

And so Jesus stopped and led you on out of your mother's house. But you stayed. And so she says I was asleep but my heart was awake.

A voice! My beloved was knocking. He says I was leading you away. You didn't follow me wherever I went.

Open to me my sister, my darling, my dove, my perfect one. You're still perfect, you're still without blemish but you've got to follow me. For my head is drenched with dew, my locks with the damp of the night.

I have taken off my dress the bride says. Listen I'm comfortable. Lord you brought me to a good place.

I'm here at RLCF. It's a good church. My children seem to be doing well.

I think I've got my life fairly well planned out. Why should I follow you into this next cross? Into this next phase of life that's going to hurt. It's gonna be painful.

Why Lord? I've taken off my dress. How can I put it on again? I washed my feet. How can I dirty them again? My beloved extended his hand through the opening.

Says no come. Come take my hand. I'll lead you.

It'll be okay. Yes your feet might get dirty. Yes it'll be uncomfortable.

Yes it'll be a struggle. But come I'll take you. And my feelings were aroused for him.

And so finally I got up and says okay fine Lord I'll come. I arose to open to my beloved and my hands dripped with myrrh and my fingers with liquid myrrh on the handles of the boat. I opened to my beloved but my beloved had turned away and had gone.

My heart went out to him as he spoke. I searched for him but I did not find him. I called him but he did not answer me.

And God will allow you to go through that period of time where it seems like he's far away. Lord I don't hear your voice. He was calling.

You hesitated. The love of money had a grip on you. That unforgiveness you wouldn't let go of it.

That bitterness. That desire for something here on this earth. You didn't let go of it.

And so I went on and now I've got to discipline you. I'm gonna be a little bit distant from you for some time. And then the watchman verse 7 who make rounds in the city found me and they struck me and wounded me.

God will allow you to go through painful circumstances but the good news is she finds her husband again. She finds her bridegroom again and gets to the point. Chapter 6. My beloved verse 2 has gone down to his garden.

Verse 3. She reaches the place where not my beloved is mine but I am my beloved's. You see the difference there? Chapter 6 verse 3. I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine. It starts with him.

And this is the phrase I want you to take away. Not that I loved him first. Not that I loved him.

That he loved me first. We love him because he loved us first. Not that I loved him but that he loved me first.

There's a song we sing. There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel's vein and the verse in that has always struck me the chord. Says redeeming love has been my theme and shall be till I die.

And I like to add on after I die as well. It'll be my theme. What is the theme? The next verse goes on to say when this poor lispring stammering tongue lies silent in the grave a nobler sweeter song I shall sing.

What is it that song? Redeeming love. Was it my love that I shall sing? No. Like we sang in that song just now.

Probably my favorite hymn of all time. Glory glory dwelleth in Emmanuel's land. When he hands you the crown and says you loved me so much Santosh.

Here's a crown. I'll say Lord I didn't love you that much. You loved me first.

My eye will be taken away from the crown and see his pierced hand and see the crown on his head and says I love you Lord. The reason I loved you that you're giving me this crown is because you love me first. Not that I loved you but that you loved me first.

I am my beloved. I belong to him. See this is a completely different thing and here after this if you read the rest of the story the up-and-down life ends.

And I'm not trying to make it cute or anything like that but it's very simply the difference between me trying to love God and finding that my up life is up and down up and down and up and down because I'm trying to love God. I love him I love him. I'm trying to love him and I'm trying to convince myself that I love him and I'm trying to convince everybody else at RLCF including my spouse that I love him and I'm finding that I'm not able to.

And then I come to the place where it says Lord you love me. That's it. I belong to my beloved.

I am my beloved. I'm his. That's it.

I belong to him. Like you know your clothes belong to you. Your car belongs to you or your whatever your shoes belong to you.

I'm my beloved. I belong to him. That's it.

It's his responsibility to keep me. I belong to him. I am his and he is mine.

She says after that. It says the same thing chapter 7 verse 10. She repeats it again chapter 7 verse 10.

I belong to my beloved. I am my beloved's and his desire is for me. You see the difference.

You see what's keeping the bride now. It's not just me trying to chase after him and then going back to my house and sleeping and falling asleep and then I find he's knocking at the door again. Now I go back and follow see oh he's knocking at the door again up and down up and down up and down.

No I am my beloved's. And here we read about this wonderful picture of love. Verse 6 chapter 8 verse 6. This is how it ends.

Put me like a seal over your heart. She says to the bridegroom. Like a seal on your arm.

For love is as strong as death. Your love. Jealousy is as severe as shawl.

It's flashes are flashes of fire. The very flame of the Lord. Many waters cannot quench love.

What love? The love of the beloved. Not your love. Many waters can quench your love.

I can tell you that. Your love for the Lord will die. It won't take much for the devil to quench your love for the Lord.

But there's nothing that can quench the Lord's love for you. And if you will open your heart to let him fill you with his love for you. That love can never be quenched.

Many waters cannot quench love. Nor will rivers overflow it. You know this is a beautiful phrase that John the Baptist says that I thought about in this context.

John chapter 3. I missed it for many years but I was reminded of that again as I was thinking about Song of Solomon. John chapter 3. In verse 30 he says he must increase but I must decrease. And John is describing to his disciples in such a beautiful way.

Oh that we had had the spirit of John the Baptist that he had in John chapter 3. I must decrease. He must increase. He says listen I want to do everything I can to focus your attention on Jesus.

But look at the picture that he gives them in chapter 3 verse 29. He who has the bride is the bridegroom. I want you to pause for a moment and just meditate on that verse.

Maybe if that's the only verse you meditate on this week I think it'll make a difference. I've been meditating on it for a few days now. He who has the bride is the bridegroom.

Let me say it in the converse way. The bridegroom is the one who has the bride. The bridegroom is the one who has the bride.

So it would be like this. Describing Jesus this way. Jesus is the one who has Santos.

Think about what I'm just saying right now. You ought to describe Jesus. Oh he's the one who's married to Santos.

Put your name there. Normally I like to think of myself as the one who's married to Jesus. Yes that's true.

Jesus is the greatest. I must decrease even more. But the bridegroom is the one who has the bride.

Just meditate on that. I don't think I could describe it. It must be something the Holy Spirit must write on your heart and say he who has the bride is the bridegroom.

The bridegroom has you dear friend. Your child. Your bridegroom has you.

Jesus is the one who has Santos. He's brought comfort to my heart in a very childlike simple way. Just to know Jesus identifies himself as the one who is married to Santos.

You know if you had a very famous spouse, husband or wife. Oh I'm famous because I'm married to so-and-so. Yes it's true.

I will be famous in heaven because I'm married to Jesus and so will you. But you know how Jesus describes himself. I'm married to Santos.

You know me? I'm Santos' husband. Put your name there. It will bring comfort to your heart.

It will if you really let the Holy Spirit write what is written in your Bible as it is in mine. He who has the bride is the bridegroom. And I briefly want to close with the story of Ruth because that brings it out so beautifully here.

Let's turn to the book of Ruth. Ruth is before 1st Samuel. Joshua judges Ruth.

Ruth chapter 1. Ruth started out in a very horrible situation. She was a Moabite. And if you were a Moabite under the Old Testament, you were doomed to a life of being far away from God.

And then there was a famine. And then Naomi moves from Judah with her husband and two sons to the land of Moab. And her sons get married to these two ladies.

And God's writing a story that ends with Jesus. Actually it began with Jesus and it's gonna end with Jesus. But you trace the bloodline from Jesus backwards and you find that somehow in the middle of Moab God finds this little girl.

Imagine Moab like a five-year-old little girl. And all the other Moabite girls just gonna end up dying a God-forsaken life. But God has his eye on little Ruth.

Grown-up little girl, six-year-old Ruth, ten-year-old, twelve-year-old. And somehow God arranges for her to meet this man. Which one married Ruth? Maybe it was Chilean.

I don't know if we're told. Malon married Ruth. Okay.

So then there's two husbands die. So here's Ruth. God allows plans for this little girl to meet this man and get married to him.

Why? Because Jesus has got to show up in the story somehow. And he's planning his, this little girl's life. She marries him.

But then the man dies. Her husband dies. And you could imagine that Ruth goes through such agony.

She doesn't have any children. Her mother, her mother-in-law's, her father-in-law also dies. So Naomi's without a husband.

And her sister-in-law, Orpah, her husband also dies. So now we've got these three women who have a very horrible life ahead of them in the land of Moab. And here's Ruth.

That's where Ruth comes into the picture. And so it says, Naomi arose with her daughters, daughters-in-law, that she may return from the land of Moab. For she had heard in the land of Moab that the Lord had visited his people in giving them food.

So Naomi decides to go back to the land of Canaan, to the land of Judah. And Orpah and Naomi decide, you know what, yeah, let's start a new life. Let's just go back to Judah.

Let's start a new life. And it looks comfortable. Like let's, you know, what's here.

So both Naomi and Orpah believe that there's, they didn't want to stay in the land where they were. A better life ahead of us. Let's follow Jesus because He's going to give me a better life.

There's a lot of people that have come to Jesus for that reason. I think I did when I first came to Jesus. I wanted a better life than the sin-ridden life that I was living.

The prodigal son came back home because he was tired of the life that he lived. I'm sure most of you, if not all of you, came to Jesus because you were sick and tired of the sin-ravaged life that you were living. And Jesus offered you a hope of something better.

You'll have a good life when you come to Jesus. That's what He offers sinners. You can be freed from that sin.

You can be forgiven of all your sin. You're headed to hell. Now you can have heaven.

Sounds like a good thing. And that's where Naomi and Orpah, Ruth and Orpah are both on the same page. Verse 10.

They continue along. They're deciding to go. But then Naomi, and again God is writing this story.

God supernaturally allows Naomi to tell her daughters. Verse 8. Go return each of you to her mother's house. May the Lord deal kindly with you as you have dealt with me, with the dead and with me.

May the Lord grant that you may find rest each in the house of her husband. Then she kissed them and they lifted up their voices and wept. And they said to her, no but we will surely return with you to your people.

Listen we want to go with you to your people. You have and we want that better life as it were. But Naomi now through the Holy Spirit.

This is again a picture of Jesus leading us on further. He says, listen you really want to follow me? I know you've seen the picture of a better life. But I want to tell you it's also going to be a rough life.

It's gonna be hard. You're gonna have to take up your cross. It's not gonna be hunky-dory.

It's not gonna be smooth riding all the way. It's gonna be a cross ahead of you. And that's what Naomi says.

Verse 10. Verse 11. Return my daughters.

Why should you go with me? I don't have any sons that you could get married to. That may be your husbands. Return my daughters.

Verse 12. Go for I am too old to have a husband. If I said I have hope.

We're not gonna have a lot of money. I can't get married again. And I can't.

I don't have any more sons to give you. Nobody's likely to marry you. If I said I have hope.

If I should have even have a husband tonight and also bear sons. Would you therefore wait until they were grown? Would you therefore refrain from marrying? No my daughters. For it is harder for me than for you.

For the hand of the Lord has gone forth against me. And he lifted up their voices and wept again. And Orpah said yeah you know what that may not be the life I really want.

I'll go back. And you know the story. She goes back.

And her story ends there. Think what a different story it would have been. And you know what the story would have been different.

How it would have been different. If she had chosen like Ruth. No I'm going.

Yes I followed you when everything was gonna look nice. But now that you've shown me it's gonna be a difficult life. It's gonna be a life of persecution and suffering and denying myself and taking up my cross.

But you will be with me through it all. I'm still gonna follow. Orpah's story ends right there.

That's it. You don't hear about her after that. Ruth's story continues.

All the way into the book of Matthew chapter 1. Ruth is recorded. And will be recorded for all eternity. Associated with Jesus.

But Ruth said. So Orpah goes back. And Ruth said don't urge me to leave you or turn back from following you.

Verse 16. Because where you go I will go. My dear friend.

You know the story. But this is essentially what Jesus is asking me today. I believe is asking us at RLCF.

Will you answer Jesus call. Wherever you go Lord. Wherever you lead this church.

Wherever you lead me. I will go. Where you launch I will launch.

Your people shall be my people. Your God my God. And where you die Lord I will die.

There I will be buried. I'm not asking for anything else. I just want to be near you.

She's telling Naomi as a picture of what the Lord wants to hear from each of us. Lord where you go I'll go. That's it.

I'm not asking for anything else. Where you go I will go. And you know the story.

Boaz is actually a picture of Jesus. Eventually she follows Naomi all the way to where? Bethlehem. Bethlehem where Jesus was to be born.

Ruth chapter 2 verse 10. She meets this man Boaz. And Boaz is very kind to her.

Again God is writing a picture. Because he saw. Because God saw that Ruth had this I will follow you wherever you go mentality.

He allows Boaz to come to the picture. And God is weaving this story with love. Like we sang that song.

That web of time he wove. And he says let verse 9. Let your eyes be on the field which they reap and go after them. Indeed I have commanded the servants not to touch you.

When you are thirsty go to the water jars and drink from where the servants draw. And Ruth falls on her face verse 10. Bowing to the ground and said to him.

Why have I found favor in your sight that you should take notice of me since I'm a foreigner. And Boaz replied to her. All that you have done for your mother-in-law after the death of your husband has been fully reported to me.

And how you left. You see that. How you left your father and your mother and the land of your birth.

And came to a people that you did not previously know. How you forsook everything. This is the voice of your bridegroom saying.

Listen I've seen that you've forsaken it. You've left all of those old things behind. And you've chosen to follow me.

I'm going to be with you. I'm going to give you an inheritance. You know the rest of the story.

Chapter 3 verse 10. He said. May you be blessed of the Lord my daughter.

This is Boaz again telling Ruth. Read the whole story sometime. But you have shown your last kindness to be better than the first.

By not going after young men. Whether poor or rich. See Boaz was an old man at this point.

Here was this young still eligible you could say. Widow named Ruth. And Ruth could have chased after some other young man.

A picture of all the other attractive young. Attractive things on this earth. And Jesus sees you forsook that.

You could have chased after that. Maybe your dream could have come through. But Jesus says you forsook that.

You gave up that dream. You put it on the altar. And you might think Lord did you even notice.

It seems like your life's continuing on. Did you even see that I had to give up that. He says I've noticed it.

I've seen it. You'll be mine. And Boaz he says later on he he purchases her life as it were.

Chapter 4 verse 9. Boaz said to the elders and all the people. You are witnesses today that I have bought from the hand of Nehemiah all that belonged to Elimelech. And all that belonged to Chilion and Malon.

Moreover I have acquired Ruth the Moabites. The widow of Malon. I have acquired her.

This is Jesus saying to you. I've acquired you. You're mine.

You belong to me. Okay let's close in Song of Solomon. We'll go back to chapter 8. Song of Solomon chapter 8. When Jesus comes.

Like I said. The fear that I've had is that I would be far away from him. And as I think about that healthy fear.

I tell you I find peace in my heart. I say Lord preserve me. Preserve me close to you.

Wherever I go. Wherever you go. I want to go with you.

And I want it to be said of me. Like it's said here in Song of Solomon chapter 8 verse 5. Who is this coming from the wilderness? Leaning on her beloved. Leaning on her beloved.

When Jesus comes. I want to say. I want to testify in faith.

You'll find me leaning on him. You won't find me far away in some other corner of the house. Doing some of my business.

Or doing something else. Or thinking oh man I'm yeah I can I can plan this. And I can do that other thing.

And I'm going to do that other thing. And everything is going to be all set. You will find me leaning on my beloved.

You will find me leaning on my beloved. I hope that will be your testimony as well dear brother and sister. Think of this picture of RLCF.

Individually. It's not corporately. We can't.

It's not like God's going to take the whole church and lean us against him. It's an individual relationship. But let it be so.

That as good God looks down from heaven. And as the world observes us as individuals. As they interact with us.

Maybe they come in here and watch us. Watch us online. What they'll see is a gathering of people who are leaning on the beloved.

And they're leaning on him. And now he leads us this way. And they're leaning on him.

They're leaning on him. And they're leaning on him. And when he comes back.

They'll find us still leaning on him. Like it was for John the Apostle. Leaning on his breast.

And you'll find me in heaven for all eternity. Leaning on the beloved. Let's pray.

Dear father I thank you for your love. Thank you that you called us to a life of leaning on you. I pray that you'll make it so.

Very simply Lord Jesus we ask. Through your Holy Spirit Lord. You said the Holy Spirit would teach us.

Holy Spirit will you come and fill our hearts afresh this morning. With the love of you. The love that's yours Lord.

Fill my heart with your love. Not with my love for you Lord. I'm tired of that.

I found that that love runs dry very easily. Fill my heart with an eternal divine love. Your love.

Knowing that I belong to you. You have me. You will keep me.

For all eternity. Oh I pray that the little children also will know this truth and it will preserve them all their lives. Keep us Lord leaning on you in Jesus name.

Amen.