Pursuit Was Their Passion

The title this morning is Pursuit Was Their Passion. Pursuit Was Their Passion. Is It Yours? And yes, we're in number 20 in the Acts series, but I'm going to take a break for just a Sunday and just camp out for a minute.

So much has been going on, I'm just excited to share, but also I believe God's put it on my heart. And throughout the book of Acts... Come on. Throughout the book of Acts, we've been... This is not going to go well.

Let me think about baseball or something. Let me see here. And this will all make sense in a minute.

Don't worry, it's all good news. It's not a Jimmy Swaggard moment. I just saw a YouTube thing come up with his story.

I'm like, oh, my God, I forgot all about that guy. So, in the book of Acts, we're seeing that you look at where we started, and it's like these guys are pursuing God. That's their priority.

And unless that becomes our priority, it will not be our passion. Pursuit and pursuit. And a lot of you don't know, we don't say a lot of things about this, but I just saw, even this morning, it was so cool to see Dakota.

He traveled from Michigan a few weeks ago. He said, Lord, he wants to be part of this church. Ted and his wife Mercy I see from Arizona.

Drove last night from Arizona. So, why? Others, Florida. Why? One word and one word only.

Pursuit. That church is pursuing God. And God, we don't ever want to lose that.

Oh, it stinks. Man. And so what happened is last Wednesday, two Wednesdays ago, I've been praying on what to share, what not to share.

I could probably stand up here for about three hours. It kind of all started two Wednesdays ago or so, I'd say. Some of what I'm going to share right now is from Wednesday two weeks ago.

And I kind of just, okay, well, I guess that's maybe a future Wednesday, but, you know, Abram, you know when it's on your heart, it's like, you've got to let this out. You can't keep pushing it out. So, I'm going to have some of those notes, but also, it was a very interesting night because I'm like, Chris is camping out.

You know, and Abram, we talked like, should Ignite stay in the service? Shouldn't they? I don't know. And I've got all this pressure. Like, you know, half the kids don't want to be in here.

So I know, but they need to be in here. So, and the struggle's real. And praying and Lord.

And then I'm like, you know what? We're just going to go into worship. And so as soon as I get ready to sit down or kneel down, Chris gives me the look to come up. Oh man.

I mean, I could have, of course, said we're going to continue in worship, but I'm like, okay, Lord, maybe that's what, you know, maybe you want to give this message on Wednesday. And if you go and listen to it, it's eight, nine minutes long. The title was, Have You Lost Your Way to the Altar? And this is something that's so funny.

I struggled through every single sentence. I'm like, why am I up here? This is a waste of time. We should have went to worship.

Now I apologize to Chris. I apologize to our team. You know, it's just this weight of, when you think you miss, I didn't know, when you think you miss what God's wanting you to do, it can be a little depressing as a lead pastor, leading a church, hello.

And my wife just shared a text with me yesterday. This lady's like, I've been listening to that message 10 times over. Other people are facing, it's like, oh my gosh, that message helped me so much.

I'm like, what just happened? But God, of course, threw the, you know, you don't judge it on feelings and just honoring God. And I believe he said, okay, Shane wants to honor me either way. And so I didn't get to the whole message.

I just got to eight or nine minutes because I just wanted to go home and sit down. And so I'm going to talk a little bit about that. But also many of you, if you've been following some of the podcasts that I do, if not, you can get up to speed on YouTube or Rumble or any other places.

I've no other word to use other than reset. There's an incredible spiritual reset that is occurring in my heart and my life. And so, hmm, here we go.

Again, it's not bad. I don't even know what the big deal is. It's like nothing to even cry about.

But I don't even know where to start. So this is going to be very applicable. Don't worry, this isn't just Pastor Shane sharing his heart.

This is going to have a lot of good outcomes because when I'm on a reset, the church will benefit as well. So for years, I'm trying to just keep it on track. And I've opened up, you know, sometimes you guys don't know this, but oh, that was a great sermon on discouragement.

And I'm like, do they wonder the hell I'm going through? Who's going to encourage me? And so a lot of what you benefit from the preaching, it's because I've lived it. And so of course, started at COVID. I mean, being a church in Los Angeles County.

I mean, all my friends just moving and leaving and then people like, you need to make us wear masks and we're leaving your church. I'm like, Lord, this is like post-traumatic church syndrome. And of course, a lot of pastors went through it.

And what's hard for me to talk about this is there's so many people going through more challenges than I went through. You know, I think of Alex and his mom that come and Shaley and Sage and Rhonda and Dean. And I think it's like, you know, Lord, gosh, give me just, but I think it will be helpful.

So some of you know, but during that time, about a year later, my mom died in Idaho, by Boise, Idaho. I got a text. I'm on the front porch, my wife will remember.

And she said, hey, pray for me, I'm not feeling well. And that's the last I heard from her. They come to find out they didn't let her, my brother and sister in the emergency waiting room and they won't let them in because of COVID to visit her while she's dying, talking to the doctor.

And I'm, I haven't, I'm lucky it was 12 hour drive. It would not have been good. So I never went there and I'm just processing that, you know, the stuff that all of us deal with, but it began to compound, compounding and compounding and compounding.

It's not always, it happens a lot and I wish it didn't happen a lot, but also at a Bible-believing, truth-elevating, spirit-led church, you have to confront people and just say, we love your attitude, you know, we'll put your attitude. And nine times out of 10, people don't take it well. And they leave and they start lying about me.

He said this, he said that, I'm like, where did you make, you're like completely lying. Pastor Shane got upset and he kicked me out. He told me to never come back.

He slammed the keys on the desk. I'm like, that never happened. Abram was there.

Hello? And, but just, again, just ice, and there's just after another, after another, after another, it's like, my goodness. Now, do I contribute to some of the conflict? Of course, we all do. Look in the mirror.

But when you get beat up and beat up and beat up and discouraged, and you know, it's the trick of the enemy, of course, for discouragement. There's a lot of encouraging thing. Here's the irony is, this is an incredible church.

So it has nothing to do with the people. It just has to do a lot of things that I was going through. And there's other things.

I'm gonna talk about it more in the book that I'm putting together. The funny thing is, I would never write a book to pastors. The title is, I Almost Quit.

And just so you know, it wasn't, it's my, when he calls you, you're stuck, whether it's here, whether it's, you know, wherever he puts you. So it wasn't, we weren't entertaining the idea as far as putting out applications and things like that. Let me find something else to do.

It wasn't, it was just that, that Lord, I mean, this is a burden on my heart. And so from that experience now, I can see that he's maybe using that to help other pastors. And so as soon as that clicked, I get a speaking engagement down by San Diego to speak at this pastors conference.

And then Salem Radio Network emailed me to go speak at another large one, about 250 pastors in Ohio. They've had John MacArthur, Tony Evans, Jack Graham. And I'm like, what, who? And the devil beats me up with like, who are you? Like, you didn't even go to seminary.

As if that matters, right? As long as you're spending time with God and educating yourself, you gotta be educated. I understand that. But he beat me up mentally as well.

So many different things. I won't get into all the things that people, you know, courses, okay, maybe God wants me to do this. You know, maybe all this is trying to push me to do something else.

I've shared that, I mean, Newsom's term's running up, you know? But no, no, no, no, that's not good. I have a feeling that would bring a lot more stress and discouragement. So, and it's not my wheelhouse.

It's not what, I mean, yeah, God would have to make things like that crystal clear. And then other things, I don't want to go into a lot of details. Some of it's private, which will be in the book.

Not in a bad way. It's just, you know, to share information later. Another thing was my brother has really become successful in Idaho, developing land and gravel companies and other businesses.

And like, hey, if you ever, you know, could use a partner and you can, I'm like, oh, 15 acre ranch, get my John Deere backhoe back. Work the soil. Because what people don't realize is like worshiping and different things.

I don't like center stage attention. I don't like people looking at me. I'll sit in the back corner.

We always argue about this and she wins. So we got to sit up front. I actually, I'd be back in that back corner of the, just, just back in the, because, but God usually will put you where you don't necessarily want to go because you're not puffed up about it.

You know, your greatest weakness could be your greatest strength. And so all these things are compounding and compounding. And there's another issue that really has been a big disappointment.

I mean, I still don't know what the Lord's going to do with that. So I might not share it right now. But then the final, the final nail in the coffin was how many of you are getting older? How many of you hit that big five, oh, balconists, be honest.

Okay, yeah, yeah. So you throw that in there, you know, eyesight fading, now I need 14, blood pressure is like 135 over 95. You know, my daughter, hey, you got to get this.

Hey, this is in check. You got to get this in check. And then just my joints, I couldn't jog anymore.

I mean, it's like, it's just came everything. I mean, we start to pile all that on, but church is great. I'm not like going through a mid, well, maybe a midlife crisis, a little bit, I guess, but it wasn't like a panic, it wasn't like, oh, it's just like, I can get through this, but man, I don't know how much more I can handle.

And again, I see some of you and you're going through more than I'm going through. And so that's a lot of reason why I don't want to share things is because it's, you know, it's on the big scale of things. Thank God, thank God.

But also during this time, God's convicting me of things. And have you ever ignored the conviction for a while and it doesn't go away? So what happened is, and I'll just briefly share with you. I had to become thankful regardless.

And something went in my heart that it was, I'm pretty bitter. I'm pretty discouraged. Have you ever been there? And woe is me.

Life, can I say sucks or not? And you just got this, Lord, what is going on here? And for a long time, months, I mean, you tell yourself, oh, I need to be thankful. Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah. I'm preaching, I better live it.

But then you get hit with some more discouragement again. And you get hit with more discouragement. I'm like, this is not, this is testing my thankfulness.

I'm not. And I said, Lord, you know what? I'll never forget that day on that couch. I said, whatever you want me to do, I'll just do it.

I'll just do it. I'm gonna be thankful. Praise God, things could be a lot worse.

I'll be thankful. That was one of the steps. And the next important thing was I knew I had to do it.

And again, I don't want to, praying this whole week about how much to share. But it's hard when a preacher doesn't want to preach. And when you feel like that, the last thing you want to do is come and share and look people in the face.

I'm gonna tell you something I'm not experiencing. Thank God it wasn't sin, but it was, okay, I'm gonna tell them how to strengthen themselves in the Lord. Lord, would you help me? But often you have to go through something before you can help others get through the same thing.

So I had to begin showing up, regardless of how I felt. And I still remember those sermons on Wednesdays and Sundays. Oh, God honored it.

Even though I would leave home discouraged, or leave here discouraged. A lot of it was like, I can't even get off the altar anymore. My knees are hurting.

Like, what's going on? Especially if you have younger kids, and you know, you gotta keep some energy going for when they get older. And a lot of you, oh, your kids are out. Great, well, that's good for you, but I need that energy to keep going.

Being a better leader, being a better father, being a better husband, requires certain spiritual disciplines. And so I just showed up and began coming to morning worship again. Becoming to Wednesday and Sunday.

And it was kind of hard, because I know Abram, he's got a gift to, you know, he wants to preach, and I want to just, you know, but obviously many times I just too much. I say, you can do it. And then even, he called me one day, he'll remember, probably a year ago, and said, hey, people are wondering, you're never at morning worship.

What's going on? It doesn't look good. You're supposed to lead by example. Like, ask him.

I was just, did I argue? No. Because I just sat there and said, he's right. He's right.

And so it's been a long, long process. You guys ready for the final reset? Oh no, it's actually the third one. You'll get to, I'll get to the final one in a minute.

And this, I think, is more important than people realize. It has to do with developing that passion for God, getting your passions under control, focusing on God. I don't even know how far back I should go, but I'll just throw it out there.

Many of you know, it was about three years ago now, I did like a 40-day fast. And we put on Amazon Prime, and they were videoing it throughout. And it was pretty good.

I ate a little bit on Easter and different things. It was manageable. But within 30 days after that, I felt this, and when you know it's God, have you ever kind of experienced that? You have this deep, it's not this voice, hello.

It's this deep impression. It's this deep calling to deep, this whisper. And I just been, and he said, I want you to do another 40-day fast for me.

When you fasted, was it me? For really, for me? So I've been living with that for three years. I'm like, there's no way in the world. Because when you do it for other reasons and not for God, it's a weight loss program.

It's not a fast. But then also the other things were coming into play. Anybody struggle with gluttony? Okay, half being honest.

Some of you don't. Don't you just disdain those people who don't? It's like, how do you do that? How do you do that? So God was convicting me about that. The reason I was having all those health issues was because of overconsumption.

But guys, this is huge. We don't talk about gluttony anymore in the church. Many pastors rarely talk about that.

We'll talk about stewarding our marriage, but not stewarding our health. And I would say both are pretty important because how I feel is how I'm going to act in my marriage. And so Dr. Paul, you know, he's been kind of helping me through and I just couldn't do anything.

I guess like I try for a couple days and then here comes discouragement. Here comes busyness. And I finally realized, you know what? There's never gonna be a perfect time to fast.

Ever, never. There's always a potluck, a barbecue, a strength game, a birthday party, fellowship, this, that. And so of course with the blood pressure, and I started to see what they call metabolic syndrome, pre-diabetes, where I could see where the feet fall asleep, eyes, my eyes, frequent urination, we're talking 20 times a day, and blood pressure.

And so I know all this. That's where you get even more upset. I know exactly what's going on.

I just can't do it. Lord, I'm not motivated. I'm discouraged.

And also the biggest thing is God taught me disciplining the flesh. Because when it comes to gluttony, we're not disciplining the flesh. We're just over-consuming.

But I thought you eat pretty good. I do, but a lot. And if you take too much of a good thing, it's a bad thing.

Proverbs says, if you find a little honey, take as much as you need, not as much as you want. And I actually, it's hard for me to talk about this topic because I know people don't want to hear it. Wait till I talk to pastors about this topic.

Oh my goodness. Wow, wait till I go after the sacred cow of donuts and Christian crack. Anyway, you'll get that later if you're not sure what that is.

So a lot of things come together. I mean, it's like Morgan saw me go through this. It's like, you either eat fast or shut your mouth.

Like I don't want to hear about it anymore. And so I'm actually, everything I've been talking about the end part here of what I've been going through is, I'm kind of in that process. And I started 20 days.

So my mouth is kind of cotton mouth. I've lost about 20 pounds. I'm halfway through the fast today.

So it's, and people say, well, you shouldn't tell because of, you know, Matthew and keep, but that's the condition of the heart. If you're a leader and you're inspiring people and helping them, God knows your heart. When you go and tell people, that's like, if your motive is to look spiritual, then yeah, that's not correct.

But how do we know Jesus fasted if you didn't tell anybody? Have you ever thought about that? How do we know anybody fast in the Bible that they didn't tell anybody? It's all a heart issue. So I only tell you that to encourage you. And to, again, if you want more information, you can listen to the podcast, just upload to YouTube, you know, and just, you know, you can persevere.

You can, your health is so important. I feel so much better, so much better. Joint pain, attitude, it's huge because this is the only body we have.

This is it. I don't know where it'll go from here, but I'm taking it day by day. And so the final thing that you need to know about, it's so important.

Are you ready for this? Oh, you know what? Thank you, Lord. I don't want to tell you this, but I will. I have my notes, I think, and I erased it.

But God, I hate confessing stuff because it makes you look weak. So the biggest, and some of you can relate, hoping this will help somebody later because you can take this and break it down to other issues. But the main reason, one of the main reasons I couldn't fast is because, any perfectionists out there? Just me? So unless it was water only, that's not a biblical fast.

77 mentions of fasting. Fasted fast in the Bible. It all has to do with shutting your mouth.

Except Daniel, he was on a fast actually. He was avoiding certain food. So I did, I gotta do this right, perfectly.

I try and I blow it, try and I blow it, try and I blow it. And I just began to feel that piece of like, you know, son, it's not about perfection, everything I tell you. It's about direction.

And if you need to have 200 calories in the day to do what I've called you to do, it's okay, it's okay. And I just began to just weep and worship like, oh, because when you're on the right path, it feels good, doesn't it? And God used that to break me and humble me. Another issue, man, I can't believe I remembered all this stuff.

I built my whole life when I was younger before I came back to the Lord on, many of you know, you should look at the picture on Google. It's funny, when I was 270 pounds and a bodybuilder and weightlifter. And so as men, you know, a lot of identities and manhood, correct? Masculinity, being strong, being big.

You know, we like to watch podcasts with Jocko and Navy Seals and like these guys, not Dylan Mahoney or Mahaney, whatever his name is, the Budweiser guy that used to be, I don't know. But that's the old life. That's the old life.

I'm like, Lord, this is, because I know about autophagy. I know about gluconeogenesis. I know how the muscle can be broken down and used and converted from amino acids into glucose.

I'm like, Lord, I'm going to lose too much muscle. I'm going to be, wait, I'm going to, this is not, I'll be too skinny. I'll be, but see what that's built in my past, who I was, pride.

And of course I still think it's good to take care of our health. But man, if you're concerned about losing muscle and that's preventing you from fasting, check your heart. Wouldn't God design something that's good for you as well? When you fast, you actually go into protein sparing mode.

So your body actually at some point begins to preserve the muscle. It's amazing how God designed His creation. And so on this topic, just to throw it out there.

So finally said, okay, Lord, I'll be skinny. That's all right, for temporarily, for if that's what you call me. But it's like, I don't care what, just, Lord, I just want to seek you.

Just want to seek you. I'll look like Tim. We can dress together.

We're both 6'2", I think, close, and the same age. Okay, yeah, he's the opposite. I'm like, no, no, I'm going to get down a little bit.

So it's just opening up to tell you guys how God just wants to clean the heart. When you fasted, was it for me? Was it really for me? Do you know He says that in the Old Testament? Through the prophet, to His people. And so I'm going through all this challenging and I tried to fast and I fell.

I tried to fast and I fell. And I begin to just get frustrated. Then I eat more.

Anybody relate to that? See, for me, food was a medication. I would go to, it was healthy food. Healthy food.

I could go through one of those containers of grass-fed, organic yogurt with almonds and blueberries and a little chocolate in there. And just the next, maybe not the whole thing. Yeah, that sounded kind of bad.

But just the gluttony and not feeling well. But here's the main point I'm also getting at is through this process, God willing, I hope it maintains, but God showed me just as much, as important as the fasting is the self-discipline that I need to take from here on out. Because I used to fast, it's over, go back to my old ways.

Fasting needs to be a reset. A breakthrough. Why would you get the flesh under-disciplined and then run back to the very same thing that put you in that bondage? Now again, nobody's gonna do this perfectly, but I don't know about you, but I was tired of my flesh controlling.

Like, it was so bad sometimes that on Wednesday nights, why'd you leave right after service? Because I'm hungry. Anybody relate? So now I just bring tea and a melatonin gummy so I'm tired when I get home. And on Sundays too, I found myself, I'm going and getting peanuts and chocolate and all the, I'm like, by the way, Sunday's a very stressful day for me in case you haven't figured that out yet.

By far, no day compares, even close. So stress eater, so here comes the chocolate. Here comes the peanuts.

Here comes the, you know, throughout the whole day. And then I get to second service. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm tired.

This is loading me down. So through that, he taught me the importance of self-discipline. And isn't that biblical, I think? We know.

That's why this is the sacred cow. Nobody wants to talk about it. And so the final thing, which finally brings me to, and it's the title of the message.

I had to do what I often tell you. I had to pursue Him regardless of how I felt. The pursuit became an all-consuming passion.

Everything else had to wait. That's why I love some of Richard Andrews' songs. He says he writes the songs based on my sermons a lot.

My sermons based on the songs and just that ministering to my heart. The real test, will you follow me when you don't feel like it? Will you follow me when you don't feel like it? And I know what the Word says, and I tell you guys all the time, but it sure is easy to speak it than it is to live it. And it was like, Lord, come on, it's a process.

The pursuit is a process that eventually brings that passion. It's not like, hey, I saw God today, I'm good. Sometimes He takes you through that valley, that difficult season, and say, will you still hold on to me even when it doesn't look like there's gonna be a breakthrough? Even when all hells might be breaking loose, will you still pursue me? Because that's true faith.

That's true faith. But I do wanna encourage you this morning, if we can quench the Spirit of God, you can rehydrate yourself. Oh, praise God for that.

You don't have to stay lost. You don't have to stay broken. I know many of you cannot worship today because you looked at porn last night.

Or you cannot worship today because you hold on to that critical heart, that bitter heart, mad at God, or rude to your spouse, rude to your kids. It's all about self-fulfillment, self-gratification. You always have to be right.

You need to humble yourself. It will prevent the pursuit of God. You should be running to this altar.

I'll never forget, ever forget. There's this gentleman I kept praying for in the prayer room, week in and week out. And I won't get into the details.

And it's like, man, probably one of the things I just mentioned to you just a minute ago. But I caught him at the door, that door. He goes, honey, I need to pray.

And I said, no, you need to get to that altar. You need to get to that altar. Well, I wish it was good news.

We get a message, hey, we're big tithers. And what did you tell my husband? He's all upset at you. Oh, really hot shot.

See, what a prideful, arrogant heart. My Lord, have mercy on his soul. Pursuit is blocked by pride.

Pursuit is blocked by pride. And even though you can grieve the Holy Spirit, you can bring back that joy. You can bring back that joy.

It's incredible. It might take time. Taste and see that the Lord is good.

It might take time. You might have to pursue. You might have to press in.

The old saints, we would be embarrassed if we read the journals of the old saints as they said, I pressed into God tonight. I pressed into God again. And I pressed into God again.

I pressed into God again. And eventually, oh God, He ran to heaven. And the spirit of the living God came down and rejuvenated my heart.

Let's put up A.W. Tozer's quote. We need to call a moratorium on all activity and focus on worship until the fire of God descends and engulfs us in the sacredness of His presence. Our pursuits determine our passions.

What you're pursuing will determine your passion. And pressing in does a great work within. The greatest hindrance to drawing near to God is our satisfaction without Him.

I don't know what's going on, guys. I just can't because that's what prevents us. Doesn't it in this church? And yet here, that's what prevents us from going deeper with God, experiencing fullness of His Spirit.

I'm satisfied without Him. I'm good. I just checked out my crypto portfolio, my stocks, my gold, my silver, man, I'm good.

I'm living the good life. I'll go to church because, man, that's what good people do. But it's our greatest hindrance to drawing near to God is our satisfaction without Him.

I drove up this morning. I'm embarrassed to even say this. But there's hardly any cars here for morning worship.

I'm like, Lord, why do we even do this? What's the point? I can stay home. And of course, got my attitude in check. Spent about an hour right there with worship on it.

And it was the best morning worship I've ever had in years. Because God doesn't need a majority. He wants the minority who's seeking Him.

Your greatest hindrance to drawing near to God is your satisfaction without Him. Not without Him in regard to salvation, but without, because we, I mean, our blessing has become our curse in America. And many, has it not? Air conditioning, heating, bills are coming in, first of the month, I mean, I'm good.

I'll go to church, I'll do this, but man, I love to sleep in. I love the 11 a.m. service, I do, but it's, and many people are, you know, that's what works great for them. Let's just say if the shoe fits, wear it, right? But I know, because I was 11 a.m.er. I won't say this at 11, I'll tell you.

But I can sleep in. I can run to Starbucks and get my Christian crack. I can hit Krispy Kreme on the way home.

I can argue with Morgan. And we'll come, we'll put a smiley face on, and I'll come and do my duty once or twice a month. That can still happen at the 8.30 too, by the way.

It's not the time, it's the heart. And it's also hard to preach these types of messages because people, they don't like it. I mean, I've got chewed out from people saying, you shouldn't put down the 11 a.m., it's the only time I can be here.

Well, good, then I'm obviously not talking about you, hello. Or when I mentioned morning worship. Abraham, remember, we've had times people would leave and they'd go, you always push a morning worship.

Like, well, forgive me. Would you like me to be caught in sexual sin instead and leave my wife and be a Jimmy Swagger? Really, that's your problem? The problem is you're convicted. I'm convicted myself.

When I preach, I'm like, oh man, I'm convicted. Did I just say that? Is that not true? I mean, that could just be the sermon. The greatest hindrance to drawing near to God is our satisfaction without Him.

Here's a test, are you gruff and grumpy? Or have you grown lukewarm and lazy? It's such a hard calling because I know, I know every single Sunday people get ticked off at what I'm saying. But you know what, I have to answer to God, not you. If you think that's arrogance, it's not, it's boldness.

It's boldness, because I don't want to say that. I don't want to say that. When I came back to the Lord, He had to break out of me people-pleasing.

Any people-pleasers here? Boy, this is funny too. I've shared before, Mario Murillo called me out of an audience, about 300 people. He only did it one time in the whole event and said, young man, will you stand up? 30, 20 years ago? I'm in construction, digging ditches, or by then maybe running the excavators and things.

And he goes, you know, God's calling you and all these, but he said, but you've got to break out of a shell first. And I knew what it was. You can't be a people-pleaser and do what I do.

You're done, you're toast. You're Joel Steen. Hey, let's call a spade a spade.

That's what he is, he's a motivational speaker. That's what he is. Golly gee whiz, go get him, fall forward and go.

Okay, but do you ever convict? Like that's kind of the calling of a pastor. And again, I prayed all morning, Lord, no, let not my opinion be said. But we can say hard things, can't we? We can say hard things.

Remember the alabaster box that was broken and she poured out that fragrant oil? You have to be broken just like that vial in order for the oil to pour out of you. And I just caught something this week that really stood out and it says the fragrance filled the room. Oh, you want to change your family? You want to change your marriage? You want to change your environment? Let the fragrance of humility and brokenness flow out of you.

Let that flow out of you. How can God pour into your heart if it's already full? Full of self, self-willed, self-sufficient, self-made. Self must die in you before God can really live within you.

And humility is the undertaker. Brokenness and humility. I was trying to skip over this next part, but I believe that God put it in my heart.

I need to ask you a very hard question, probably mainly for you who've been coming here a fairly decent amount of time. Some of you are never changing because you're not surrendering. Primarily talking to men.

Some of you are never changing because you're not surrendering. You're not pursuing God. How long are you going to keep coming and going through the motions? As pride speaks to you right now in your head.

Who's that guy think he is? He's got his own issues. Yeah, so do you. Put on your big boy pants and surrender your heart.

Finally, fully surrender. Do you know what I'm talking about? Keep coming, same issues, same marriage issues, same controlling heart. You're still a controller.

Why haven't you repented? You're still verbally abusive. Why haven't you repented? You're still hooked to that. How long are you going to keep coming without changing? It requires full surrender and brokenness over your sin.

Don't look to the messenger. God can use a donkey if He wants. He can use a little kid if He wants.

He can use circumstances. Maybe the circumstances are drawing you back to Him. You know how many people I've talked to, young adults, that they don't want the Christ they see in their parents? It reminds me if I see people year in, year out at the gym and they don't change.

Say, hey, you've got to change something. Going to church and never changing? The same issues week in and week out? Guys, what's it going to take? Fully surrendered. I'm offended that you said that.

Again, put on your big boy pants. Come on. I'll offend you if it means you go deeper in your life.

You go more after God. You pursue Him with all of your heart. Don't you want to grow? Don't you want to grow? Aren't you tired of going through the motions? Lay that pride down at the foot of the cross this morning.

And I might have to touch on these next Sunday because I'm not even halfway through. I think one of the things that is important. Do we have that slide, strength through strain builds passion? I'm going to skip over some points and go right to the final one.

Strength through strain builds passion. So with my situation or your situation, what you go through, that pain, that discouragement, when you're a child of God, no pain is wasted. Every square inch of that pain God will use.

Every square inch of that pain God will use. Strength through strain builds passion. The strength on the inside must be greater than the pressure on the outside.

Guys, that's how you make it in this world. That strength on the inside. Well, how do I do that? You pursue God like never before.

Barna said for Christians, for Christians, us in this room, suffering is at the top thing they struggle with, understanding about God. And what keeps them away from God? Sorrow, suffering, going through it. Guys, that's the furnace of affliction.

That's when the dross is brought to the surface. I wish I could be happy all the time and right in the center of God's will, oh, that is a sweet spot. Financially, relationally, emotionally, I'm good.

This is incredible. No, we don't stay there. We don't get there right now in this side of heaven.

It's difficult. It's challenging. It's embarrassing for me to share what I shared with you this morning.

But again, don't look at the messenger. I'm a broken man, just like everyone in this room. People think, oh, pastor, what's the difference? Nothing, nothing.

All God says is, hey, I'm gonna call you to spend time with me. I'm gonna clean out some junk and I want you to spend time with me and I want you to open your mouth and I want you to share my word. Just an instrument, no different than what's God calling you to do.

Be a better husband. Some of you need to call your spouse and apologize, or your children. So the only way to really detox of this junk is a spiritual detox.

The only way to do that is to set your mind, set your mind on this too shall come to pass. This too shall come to pass. Just, if I can just get through this trial, many of you know what I'm talking about.

If I can just get through this trial and then once I get through it, then I can say like the prophets used to say, oh, I've tasted of God and I've seen all the goodness of God. Come and taste, come and drink of the living water and you will never thirst again. He brought me through that trial.

Now I can help others get through that trial. Oh, just taste and see how good God is. I've tasted and I've seen.

Praise, pain in your life will turn into praise. Bitterness into thankfulness, discouragement into seeking God. Whenever you're tempted to take the wrong path, think of these words from Puritan Henry Greenwood.

The devil says, come unto me and I will destroy you. That's where some of you might be right now. The world says, follow me, but I will deceive you.

The flesh says, follow me, but I will fail you. Only Christ and Christ alone says, come unto me and I will refresh you. Think of all these commandments Christ gave and especially, come unto me all who are strong and doing good and in great health.

Come unto me all who are weak and heavy laden and I will give you rest. I will give you rest for your soul. Come unto me, draw unto me, drink of this living water and you will never thirst again.

Folks, I can tell you, I don't know what the future holds, but I know holds a future and I will never drink of another water. That living water, though he slay me, yet will I trust him. And as I said that Wednesday, parts I didn't get to, have you lost your way to the altar? Have you lost your way to the altar? This place of brokenness that can bring healing.

No other name can save than Jesus Christ. No other name can restore, can heal, can cure, can renew, to be revived and to bring spiritual life where there is barrenness. Seek him with all of your heart and be encouraged by this.

Healing takes time. Healing takes time. I sought my God and he heard me.

It's not a one and done. It's not a one and done. Hey, I did this last month, I'm good.

No, it's a pursuit. It's a passionate pursuit. Back to the title.

Pursuit was their passion. Is it yours? Oh, you're getting pretty loud. Oh, I get louder.

I even told Maddie this morning in the prayer room, I said, let loose. Let loose this morning. If you need to just belt it out, that's your gifting.

Don't run from your gifting, folks. Not that she has, I'm just throwing that out there. Because you don't know sometimes if it's the Holy Spirit or if it's me and you want to have the right heart.

And yeah, just thank you so much for leading us into worship. Thank you so much. Worship is the difference maker.

During this time, for a few years, I would still put on worship from 3 a.m. to 6 a.m. I would just sit there and sit there and worship. Worship God, this is hard. This is discouraging.

And of course, I put my sermons together. I'd come and speak with you, but then I'd go back home. A pattern that was hard to break.

Again, a lot of it because I was in disobedience. My bitter heart, I'm not giving this up. Sometimes I get jealous of you guys, because you can get upset at somebody and never see them again, don't come to church anymore, just ghost them.

Not me. I got to say hello next Sunday and act like nothing happened. And it begins to wear.

You guys know, right? Healing takes time. I sought my God and He heard me. I don't know exactly how that works, but I know it does work.

Why? Because God has called this church to be shepherds to the shattered. To rebuild the broken and a place of worship for the wounded. His pursuit must be your number one priority.

His pursuit, that's it. That's why we're here this morning. That's why I got up this morning.

I got up and put this together and came here this morning. Nothing else matters. How long will I wait and rely on God and strengthen myself in Him? Even if I don't feel like it, I will wait upon the Lord.

Because those who wait upon the Lord eventually, eventually renew their strength. It's a battle. Check out Charles Wesley's hymn.

Oh, for a heart to praise my God. Oh, for a heart to praise my God. A heart from sin set free.

A heart that's sprinkled with the blood so freely shed for me. A humble, lowly, contrite heart believing true and clean, which neither life nor death can part from Him that dwells within me. A heart.

Do you have that heart that praises Him? Hollywood will spend $300 an hour for a therapist who doesn't even know the Lord. Yet, you have the Prince of Peace, the Everlasting Father, the wonderful Counselor, who will say, He'll come for you at 2 in the morning. He'll come for you.

And I've got that stage 4 cancer, Lord. I don't want to know what to do. I know what to do.

Let me hold you. Let me draw near to me. I'm getting old and these things are happening and all hell's breaking loose in my life.

That's okay. Let me hold you through it. I never promised you a rose garden.

I never promised you here heaven on earth. I actually said, if we remember, pick up your cross. What? Oh, it's a rugged cross.

It hurts. As you're carrying the woods, digging into your shoulder. But again, it's a place of death that gives life.

I want to close with this thought. Think how valuable your soul is with the devil going after it in full force. Have you thought about that? Think how valuable your soul is with the devil going after it in full force.

Christian, how important is your testimony if that's what he's after? Do you know how many pastors who start in the ministry make it to age 65? One out of ten. One out of ten. How many Christians finish strong? I'm not sure.

Why? Because your testimony as a believer is so valuable, so valuable that the enemy goes after it. If I can silence them in shame, wreck their marriage in frustration, highlight their failure, disable them, I'm done with this person. On to the next.

That's why pursuit is so important. Pursuit is the only thing that will keep you in God's arms. Because that's what it is, isn't it? That's what pursuit is.

Yeah, but I study the Bible. Good, so do I. Hours and hours and hours and hours and hours. But it points me to the one I'm supposed to pursue.

You can be so full of head knowledge you have no heart engagement with God. Trust me, I've ran into so many Bible-believing Pharisee Christians. They're straight as a gun barrel.

Theologically, but they're just as empty. They have no spiritual life in them. No pursuit of God.

No pursuit of God. I don't know if it was Sunday or Wednesday when I shared this, but I get text messages sometimes and I just laugh. If this person is here this morning, well, take it up to the Lord.

But I get a text, Ray, he says, hey, we had somebody leave. He's been here before, I guess. But the worship's too emotional, too repetitive, and too long.

I'm like the very thing that man needs is the very thing he's running from. How arrogant! How arrogant! Now you might prefer the old hymns. You might prefer the new.

Stop. It's not about that. It's about the heart.

You hear all this bad news about Bethel on social media, and so now you think any church that dares to have powerful worship is too emotional. No, that's the problem. God's church is supposed to be emotional.

Shouldn't there be an excitement? The church of the living God. There needs to be excitement. We're coming to hear from the living God.

I can come to this altar and I can pray. I can get on my face and I can say, oh God, create in me a clean heart. Renew a right spirit.

Bring my prodigal son home. Bring my wayward daughter home. Lord, bring them home.

I contend for my family this morning. And you begin to see God like never before. You've got to pursue Him.

You've got to pursue Him. And of course the excuse is, well, I'm just not emotional. Neither am I. But you sure are angry.

Is not anger an emotion? You sure do lust. Isn't that not an emotion? The problem is your pride and your arrogance. God, give us more emotion.

Biblical emotion. Isn't that true? Shouldn't we be excited to come to church? I know, I've been there. I just want to get out of here, get through second service and go home.

I've been there. And a lot of it's due to everything I just talked about earlier. But you've got to press in and press in and get your heart right before God.

And it's a living God. Living children need rules. Dead children don't.

Living, vibrant. It's night and day. What about if I just come up? Let's read Wesley's hymn today.

Oh, for a heart to praise my God, sin set free. Did you know Hollywood pays $300 for a therapist, but you can turn to the wonderful counselor today? Did you know that? Psalm 91 says, He who dwells in the secret place. Why? There's no life in me.

There's no life. It's spiritual death. Many times people preach like that.

I should say, some people are monotone. Chuck Smith was a good example, right? We can gleam a lot from it. But he was happy, filled with joy.

There's other people. That's their gifting. I'm not trying to put anybody down.

But what I'm saying is there should be some life. The Word of God should come alive. Pastor, He's touched your heart.

You might want to passionately pursue God and have them follow you. Because really what this is, oh, Pastor Shane, Head Pastor Lee, it's servant leadership. It's servant leadership.

You die to self, and people want to follow someone who's dead to self. Now, before you start to judge me, does that mean I'm perfect? Absolutely not. I'm pursuing Him just like you are.

But I've tasted and seen that the Lord is good. Come and taste. We talk about revival often, don't we? We talk about renewal.

We talk about restoration. We talk about redemption. All these R's of the Bible.

I've taught on the R's of the Bible before. It's pretty cool. But you know, apart from repentance, I know you're thinking, there's one Word that has the final say.

There's one Word that even God's heart petitions His people for. There's one Word that can make the biggest difference in your life. Return.

Return. Many of you I'm speaking to this morning, when I said some of those hard things, you will not humble yourself and return to that first love. I don't remember the song this morning, but it was just breaking me.

It was like, what is it, Lord? Remember when we first met? When my eyes first saw You? Take me back to that place of surrender. Take me back to that place of brokenness. Take me back, oh God, take me back.

I don't know about you, but I want to go back to that place where He was everything. He was an all-consuming fire. He was my pursuit.

He was my passion. Take me back. Return to me and I will return to You.

What a promise! Return to me. So I want to just encourage you, if you need to come forward to the altar, don't be ashamed. Don't be ashamed.

Why? Because... And I don't know if that would ever happen this morning had I stayed at home. Been disgruntled. Listen, you obey and let God handle the rest.

The altar dethrones what we are currently bowing to. We don't physically bow to a little statue, but that 50-inch entertainment center sure has me bound. What I watched last night is preventing me from coming to church Sunday morning.

I don't have a little altar, but I'm bowing to offense. I'm offended. I'm ticked off.

Somebody upset me. I'm not going to church. I'm not going to talk to them.

I'm bowing to personal offense. And becoming unthankful. And so they're not physical altars.

It's whatever takes away your pursuit of God and grabs it for themselves. That's why I mention sometimes with sports, I mean, travel ball and all these things. Great, do it.

My kids are in sports. We love it. But when that becomes the idol, it will pull you away from God.

And you start to pursue that more than you pursue God. But we think because I give God a little bit of time on Sunday, and I'll get to Him again, well, Easter's coming up. I'll wait until Easter.

That's when I'll come again. And hear my heart. I could care less what church you go to, but you've got to go somewhere.

I've got three friends that have churches. All of you pass them on your way here. Either this road or that road.

Go somewhere. And a good Bible-believing church and be fueled and be fed. The altar is a place of brokenness that brings wholeness.

It's a place of brokenness that brings wholeness. It's a place of death that gives life. It's a place of surrender that offers freedom.

Men, women, are you bound this morning? Then get to the altar and be broken before God. Say, I need to get rid of this. This is death to me.

I need to lay it at the foot of the altar. Christ Jesus created me a clean heart. Renew a right spirit in me.

I'm tired of struggling. I don't know about you, but aren't you tired of struggling with some sin over and over and over again? Give it to the Lord. It's a place of surrender that offers freedom.

I've never felt more free. I didn't realize how my own addictions were keeping me in bondage. Listen, a good thing can be a bad thing if it's not a God thing.

Or if it takes you away from Him. Anything out of moderation is not a good thing. It's called excessive.

And we use it to cope. So I'm curious this morning, what is preventing your pursuit? What is preventing your pursuit this morning? And I know it's hard. Right, we're comfortable.

The chairs, they're kind of soft. You like the new chairs we just bought? It's comfortable. They're such and such from work.

I'm not gonna go to that altar. Chris will tease me on Monday. I have this aura of being spiritual.

I'm not gonna go to the altar. Or maybe you're coddling sin and you don't want to give it up. That will keep you from the altar.

Or what keeps a lot of young adults away from it, it's not cool. It's not lit. I want to be lit with the world, not lit with God.

That's why you're bored in church. That's why you're falling asleep. Because that fire has faded.

Guys, I'm just trying to help. I'm not trying to, trust me, I prayed over this sermon. Like, Lord, I don't want to say that kind of stuff.

But then what happens, but what happens is the more I suppress it, the more it builds. And during worship, it built even more. It's like, I gotta, it's like a, I know it's not the same, so women, don't get upset.

But it's like pregnant. You're pregnant with His Word is in my heart like a burning fire. And the only way to deal with it is to get it out.

The only way to deal with it. Oh, but God, I'm just a youth, some may say. Don't say you're just a youth.

Don't say you're just a youth. Before you were born, I knit you together in your mother's stomach. I called you to be a prophet among the nations.

You will speak what I put in your mouth. You will tear down. You will root out.

You will pull down and you will destroy ultimately to rebuild. That was a calling of Jeremiah. You have to have that experience with God.

Isaiah even told us, I saw the Lord high and lifted up. Let me tell you guys, oh, you gotta consider fasting. I mean, worship is just, because the flesh is submitted.

It's like, shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. I want to be filled with God.

And the great lie is you think you'll get hungrier. Actually, I can go out there having grass fed beef and having spaghetti. I'm just sit there, have tea.

Once that hunger, once the flesh is okay, he's not playing games anymore. The power of the made up mind dethrone King's stomach in your pursuit of God. You want to know what also ironic is? I'm self-conscious to talk about these topics because I know people don't like it, but a lot of the emails and texts and things we get in where it's just Texas or Canada.

It's like, it's often on this topic of prayer and fasting and starving the flesh and self-discipline and helping me feel better. Man, brother, thanks. I've never heard this so much as helping.

It's like all this feedback's coming in. Like that must be a sticking point. Why don't we talk about it? Why don't we talk about it? So what's preventing your pursuit today? Are you coddling sin? Are you caught in sin? Are you comfortable and complacent? Just listen, I'm gonna close with these lyrics from Richard Andrews' song, The Sound of Coming Home.

Did you know coming home has a sound? You'll never be too far away. Just stop and turn around. He's made a way.

He said, I'll never leave you alone. Hear him calling you, come home. I mean, you think I'm excited.

You should see what's going on inside my heart. I would physically grab some of you and put you up here. Or I'd give you a little, not women.

Hey, wake up. This is for you. This is for you.

The pursuit is the answer to the problems. The pursuit is the answer to the problems. You want your prodigal son away? Pursue God.

Pursue God. I often wonder how bad do we want it? We're praying over our family members, but we won't fast, we won't pray, won't come to prayer meetings. Like how bad do you want it? You gotta pursue, you gotta press in.

God says, my son, my daughter's crying. They're travailing. They're travailing and they're petitioning me.

And oh, I hear the cry of my children. But I'll also end with this for maybe somebody who's not currently walking with the Lord. Puritan Thomas Hooker said, be forewarned, if you live in your sins here, expect to be damned with them hereafter.

Can you be a little more seeker sensitive? No, no. I also did something I hadn't done in 20 years. I pulled out a lot of my old Puritan books and quotes.

Yeah, they had their issues, but boy, they go deep. Thomas Hooker, John Bunyan, Richard Baxter. He said, I preach as a dying man to dying men.

Make sure you're feeding on the right type of influence. But if that's you this morning, if you're not willing to give up your sin, expect to be damned with them hereafter and hereafter in hell. That's Bible, that's biblical, that's what Jesus said.

And I didn't get in time to put on the slides, but I want you to just listen to this. Let's keep this verse up for just a minute. I don't know about you, but sometimes, I mean, especially now when you're going deep, man, the Word of God just comes alive.

The reason is you've built a hunger for God and you've starved the flesh, so obviously it comes alive. But this verse, I just, all week... Can you ever hear the heart of God through the Scriptures? That's the problem with many people. They don't hear the heart of God.

They think, okay, I did page 1, let me check it off. This is God. God who created everything you see.

Aren't you glad He just put us here like little ants? Keeping control of the world. It's a relationship with the living God. And I'm so glad, we don't have to wing it, like what do you think it is? What did He say to you? I feel this way, I sense this.

I don't know, what about this? And like we have all these different opinions. God says one word, one truth, one Savior. One way, there's only one way.

And now we have this written, living, vibrant Word of God that is sharper than any double-edged sword. It pierces, it pierces the heart, it pierces the soul. It gets man back on track, it convicts, it restores.

You'll get renewed. Focus for your marriage, for your finances, for overcoming sin. Everything we need for all godliness and life is in the book.

So why is it so boring for many of you? It was for me. It was for me. I need to look into it to get the sermon topic.

But when it comes alive, it changes the heart. So here's what God said to a prophet. I have spoken to them, but they have not heard.

I have called to them, but they have not answered. Because they love the wickedness of their evil ways. Unbelievable, isn't it? God is saying, I've spoken to them, but they have not heard.

I've called to them, but they have not answered. Well, I wish you would tell me that. You know what? He just did in the last hour.

You're saying God speaks to you and then you speak to us. No, I would never word it that way. I would say we open His Word.

We're led of the Spirit. We anchor ourselves to biblical truth. You get somebody passionately pursuing God and from that inflow of the Word, from the inflow comes the outflow.

And I truly believe that. I believe that verse is for a lot of people this morning. God has laid it out how important is pursuit.

When you get out of your comfort zone. But check this out. I just added this to the book yesterday.

Many do not truly want revival because of the fear of what it may involve. Years ago I prayed this, Lord, bring revival to our church. I was not ready for the response that followed.

I felt impressed with these words. You don't want revival. It will ruin your schedule, your dignity, your image, and your reputation as a person who is well balanced.

Men will weep throughout the congregation. Women will weep. Young adults will cry like children at the magnitude of their sin.

With the strength of my presence, the worship team will cease playing. Time will seem to stand still. You won't be able to preach because of the emotions flooding through your soul.

You'll struggle to find words, but only find tears. Even the most dignified and reserved among you will be broken and humbled. The proud and self-righteous will not be able to stand in my presence.

The doubter and unbeliever will either run for fear or fall on their knees and worship me. There can be no middle ground. The church will never be the same again.

Do you truly want revival? A confession. It's hard when God moves powerfully because you have a lot of naysayers. Worship's too emotional.

It's brainwashing. Well, if this is brainwashing, wash me head to toe. Wash me in your Word.

The problem is they're not worshipers, so they're not engaged. It's easy to open the Bible and read it, but worship engages the heart. The reason it's too emotional is because the world has your emotions, and it's uncomfortable.

That's the word. It's uncomfortable to worship. Oh, you get all excited.

Soccer and baseball and MMA. You get worked up. You get loud.

You paint your face a certain color for the Bills or the Broncos or whoever. But when it comes to church, I would actually say that's emotional what you're doing. That's purely emotional.

This is a heart ablaze for God and His glory. So again, I don't want to miss this opportunity because I know there's a lot of people, and if you don't know the Lord, if you're struggling, prayer team, you guys can make your way next door, and we'll come get some of you if we need some help praying. You can form a line if we need to, but some of you can just stay here where you're at because Madeline, that was a great song.

Break every chain. Break every chain. God, break this chain, but often in order to break it, you have to repent of it.

Lord, break this from my life. Are you willing to give it up? Are you willing to get a flip phone maybe? If that's taking you out, oh, that's crazy, man. How bad do you want it? Not bad enough because a person who is desperate for God will do whatever it takes.

I just pulled up this morning. I thought of you guys. I'm not going to go into detail.

People might be listening, but over the course, and this also really wore me down, is people coming. Some of them have been up here. They're divorced in this church.

I want to grab the men and say, do you know, do you know all you have to do is humble yourself and say, I've been wrong. I'm going to pursue God, and if you want to keep up, that might take some time. They're not going to believe that right away, but you need to humble yourself and lead the way.

That's all. I want to shake him and grab him. I pray to God I don't run into him at Costco because I'm going to let him have it.

Do it. Just humble yourself. Yeah, but.

I don't want to hear any yeah buts. How bad do you want it? Happens the same thing with our pursuit of God. We don't want it bad enough to remove the things that are taking us down and taking us up.