Confessions - Book X - Chapter Xxviii
St. Augustine reflects on the human condition of spiritual struggle and the longing for divine union as the ultimate fulfillment beyond earthly trials.
In this devotional sermon from Confessions Book X, St. Augustine candidly explores the tension between joy and sorrow in the human experience and the spiritual longing for God’s mercy. He portrays earthly life as a challenging ordeal marked by conflicting emotions and emphasizes the necessity of divine mercy for healing. Augustine ultimately points believers to the hope of complete union with God as the fulfillment that transcends all suffering.
Text
39. When I come to be united to thee with all my being, then there will be no more pain and toil for me, and my life shall be a real life, being wholly filled by thee. But since he whom thou fillest is the one thou liftest up, I am still a burden to myself because I am not yet filled by thee. Joys of sorrow contend with sorrows of joy, and on which side the victory lies I do not know.
Woe is me! Lord, have pity on me; my evil sorrows contend with my good joys, and on which side the victory lies I do not know. Woe is me! Lord, have pity on me. Woe is me! Behold, I do not hide my wounds. Thou art the Physician, I am the sick man; thou art merciful, I need mercy. Is not the life of man on earth an ordeal? Who is he that wishes for vexations and difficulties? Thou commandest them to be endured, not to be loved. For no man loves what he endures, though he may love to endure. Yet even if he rejoices to endure, he would prefer that there were nothing for him to endure. In adversity, I desire prosperity; in prosperity, I fear adversity. What middle place is there, then, between these two, where human life is not an ordeal? There is woe in the prosperity of this world; there is woe in the fear of misfortune; there is woe in the distortion of joy. There is woe in the adversities of this world--a second woe, and a third, from the desire of prosperity--because adversity itself is a hard thing to bear and makes shipwreck of endurance. Is not the life of man upon the earth an ordeal, and that without surcease?
Sermon Outline
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I. The Inner Conflict of Joy and Sorrow
- The coexistence of joy and sorrow in the believer's life
- The uncertainty of which emotion prevails
- The honest admission of spiritual wounds
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II. The Human Condition as an Ordeal
- Life on earth is filled with trials and vexations
- Endurance is commanded but not loved
- The paradox of desiring prosperity yet fearing adversity
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III. The Need for Divine Mercy
- Acknowledging oneself as spiritually sick
- Appealing to God as the merciful physician
- Seeking mercy amidst life's hardships
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IV. The Hope of Union with God
- True life is found in being filled by God
- Union with God ends pain and toil
- The ultimate fulfillment beyond earthly suffering
Key Quotes
“When I come to be united to thee with all my being, then there will be no more pain and toil for me, and my life shall be a real life, being wholly filled by thee.” — St. Augustine
“Thou art the Physician, I am the sick man; thou art merciful, I need mercy.” — St. Augustine
“Is not the life of man on earth an ordeal? Who is he that wishes for vexations and difficulties?” — St. Augustine
Application Points
- Recognize and honestly admit your spiritual struggles instead of hiding them.
- Seek God’s mercy daily as the source of healing and strength.
- Hold on to the hope of ultimate union with God beyond present hardships.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does St. Augustine mean by being 'filled by God'?
He means that true life and fulfillment come from complete union with God, which removes all pain and toil.
Why does Augustine describe life as an ordeal?
Because human existence involves constant struggles, suffering, and conflicting emotions that test endurance.
How does Augustine view suffering and prosperity?
He sees both as sources of woe—suffering is hard to bear, and prosperity brings fear and distortion of joy.
What is the role of divine mercy in this sermon?
Divine mercy is essential for healing spiritual wounds and sustaining believers through their trials.
Does Augustine offer hope beyond earthly suffering?
Yes, he points to the hope of union with God as the ultimate relief and true life.