Shunning Over-Familiarity
Thomas a Kempis advises Christians to prioritize spiritual intimacy over human relationships and to be discerning in their associations.
Thomas a Kempis emphasizes the importance of seeking wisdom and guidance from those who fear God, advising against sharing personal matters with everyone. He cautions against seeking the company of the rich and powerful, instead encouraging association with the humble, devout, and virtuous. Kempis stresses the need to focus on God and His angels, avoiding excessive intimacy with people. While advocating for charity towards all, he warns against becoming too familiar with everyone, as it may lead to misunderstandings and displeasure.
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DO NOT open your heart to every man, but discuss your affairs with one who is wise and who fears God. Do not keep company with young people and strangers. Do not fawn upon the rich, and do not be fond of mingling with the great. Associate with the humble and the simple, with the devout and virtuous, and with them speak of edifying things. Be not intimate with any woman, but generally commend all good women to God. Seek only the intimacy of God and of His angels, and avoid the notice of men.
We ought to have charity for all men but familiarity with all is not expedient. Sometimes it happens that a person enjoys a good reputation among those who do not know him, but at the same time is held in slight regard by those who do.
Frequently we think we are pleasing others by our presence and we begin rather to displease them by the faults they find in us.
Sermon Outline
- Avoid Over-Familiarity
- Be Discerning in Relationships
- Seek Intimacy with God
- Prioritize spiritual intimacy over human relationships
- Avoid seeking human notice
Key Quotes
“We ought to have charity for all men but familiarity with all is not expedient.” — Thomas a Kempis
“Sometimes it happens that a person enjoys a good reputation among those who do not know him, but at the same time is held in slight regard by those who do.” — Thomas a Kempis
Application Points
- Prioritize spiritual intimacy over human relationships to avoid over-familiarity.
- Associate with wise, God-fearing, and devout individuals who will edify you.
- Be discerning in your relationships and avoid seeking human notice.