1 Cor No.13 Happy married or unmarried

I'd be glad if you'd have your Bibles open at Ephesians and chapter 5. Those who are visiting with us, let me say that I've been working my way through Ephesians. Some people think since the beginning of time, but actually it's not been that that long. First by this exposition of some of the very wonderful teaching that the Apostle Paul gives us, in this particular epistle that he writes.

And I'm going to read to you just from a couple of verses in Ephesians 5, to get the context into mind. Here is Paul, and he's saying from the 15th verse, be very careful then how you live, not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

Do not get drunk on wine when he was called as Christ's slave. You were bought at a price. Do not become slaves of men.

Brothers, each man as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to. Amen. Now I'd be glad for you to have your Bibles open at 1 Corinthians and chapter 7. It's always a great thrill in the tabernacle to look around the congregation and see friends who regularly bring their Bibles to church.

It's not always the case that it's a practice of folks to bring a Bible along with them to the churches to which they go, and yet one of the characteristics of the tabernacle of you good folk, is that you're always present with the Word of God. And I'm grateful for that, because my requirement from the Lord is to try to teach scriptures that I have endeavored to understand myself to others, and the most necessary thing therefore is for you to have God's Word in front of you, to be able to look down and to check through what I am sharing. One of the only programs alongside the news that I regularly listen to on the radio is Any Questions.

I do so because I like to hear the various opinions of the panelists on an range of topics as questions are leveled at them. And it's something like an Any Questions panel that the Apostle Paul becomes just in himself, there are no other members, when you move into the seventh chapter of this epistle. You see, Paul has been writing to this mixed Jewish Gentile congregation in the Greek city of Corinth.

He has been used by the Lord to bring the majority of them to faith in Jesus Christ. They look upon him as their pastor-in-chief, so to speak. He's been with them not a great amount of time, not sufficiently to have dealt with every problem that might emerge amongst a young Christian community.

And so, letter-writing being very much a practice in those days, as in ours, when Paul is away from them, they send him letters. And one of the letters in particular contained a number of questions about things where they, the Christians at Corinth, were somewhat hazy as to how they should act. Most of the subjects were extremely practical.

And so Paul, when he moves into the seventh chapter of this letter, he's dealing specifically with a previous letter that the Corinthians have sent to him. So the opening verse sets the scene. Now for the matters you wrote about.

And he leads off in trying to answer the first question. Later questions are going to be taken up with the business of going down to the local butchers, and whether you can eat meat that has been offered to idols. Then there's going to be a question about women, and what part should they be allowed to play in public worship.

Then there's a question about the whole business of spiritual gifts, and how are they to be controlled in the church. And then there's a question about Apollos, and how he is faring, an individual who the Christians at Corinth loved in common with the Apostle Paul. So here, as I say, Paul commences to answer their questions.

Here is the any questions part of the first letter to the Corinthians. And the subject matter concerns marriage. And it means that the Apostle is going to have to deal with some very delicate material indeed.

Now having said that, there are one or two other things I want to share with you by way of observation. Uniquely in this chapter, you find the Apostle sometimes giving his own opinion, as well as citing what he knows to be the express teaching of the Lord Jesus. Look for example at the sixth verse.

I say this as a concession, not as a command. Here he's speaking in regard to his own conclusions. Let's look at the tenth verse.

To the married I give this command. Then he goes on, not I, but the Lord. And indicates that the teaching here that he's given comes directly from the Lord Jesus Christ.

You get the same in the twelfth verse. To the rest I say this, I not the Lord. And again he's offering his own opinion.

There are occasions in this chapter when Paul will specifically repeat what Jesus's teaching has been on the subject of marriage. But marriage is a very complex issue. There are certain situations that arise that apparently were not covered in general, though they were touched on in principle by our Lord.

And when that happens, then Paul acknowledges the fact, and says this is what I have come to understand by my meditation on the teaching of Jesus, and my reliance on the revelation of the Holy Spirit. So whether Paul is quoting Jesus directly, or whether he's giving us his own opinion, both things are absolutely authoritative. But that is something unique in this chapter, as Paul makes a distinction between quoting the Lord, and the conclusions that he, Paul, has drawn on some of the complicated issues that cropped up at Corinth.

Something else I want to share with you, by way of general introduction, is that the situation in Corinth, regarding marriage and sexual behavior, was very, very difficult. What do I mean by that? Well you see, as I mentioned, the Christian community at Corinth was constituted of Gentiles, and also Jews. A Gentile is anyone who is not a Jew.

Now the Gentiles had a very free and easy attitude towards marital relationships. Not that it's unusual these days. It was almost the morality of Hollywood.

It didn't really matter how many parties you had, how many partners you had. Immorality wasn't really a very serious thing amongst the Gentiles. And it was from that community, that many Christians had been quarried, so to speak.

On the other hand, there were Jewish people, who were part of the Christian congregation. And the Jews, they had their own specific difficulty. And it was this, it was relatively easy for a Jew to divorce his wife.

Divorce was reasonably available, on an easy basis, to Jewish people. So here are Christians from the Jewish community, and Christians from the Gentile community, and they've got problems. Now as believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, how are we to behave, in this whole business of marriage, and sexual relationships, and what have you.

So the Apostle deals with this interesting situation. And the third thing, by way of general introduction, is that what is the motivating factor of the Apostle Paul, when dealing with any practical problem, is for people to recognize, as he reminds them at the beginning of the chapter, and in the heart of the chapter, that they're not their own, they're bought with a price. That's precisely what he says, is it not, in the final verses of the sixth chapter.

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God. You are not your own, you're bought with a price, therefore honor God with your body. And that is the key motivating factor, for Christian people.

Whether they're dealing with marital relationships, with sexual practice, with handling money, with purchasing goods, with using spiritual gifts, you're not your own, you belong to the Lord Jesus Christ. That's a basic overriding principle, that crops up time and time again, in Paul's thinking. Well then, having sketched those out as introductory points, which are so necessary, let's see what Paul has to say.

Very, very rapidly, will our study progress this morning, in these first 24 verses. You'll find that, somewhat conveniently, there is a division, after the ninth verse. From the first verse, to the ninth verse, the apostle is making a plea.

He's making a plea for purity, whether you're a married person, or an unmarried person. From the 10th verse, and down to the 24th verse, generally speaking, he's making a plea for permanency. If you're married, you are to stay married.

So those are the two goals that Paul is aiming at, in his teaching here. Let me repeat them. In the opening part of the passage, we're considering there is a plea for purity, and in the second part, there is a plea on behalf of those who are married for permanency.

Well let's take those first nine verses. Here he's going to touch on this very delicate area of sexual relationships, and he's going to do so by running two contrasts. He's going to talk about the state of matrimony, that means if you're married, and he's going to touch on the state of celibacy, that means that you're not married.

And there are some people who, when they read through these first nine verses, believe that the apostle Paul is suggesting that celibacy is the thing to be preferred more than marriage, as though he's rather looking upon the married Christian as a weak brother, as a weak sister. But I want to show you that even if that's the conclusion you came to on a rapid reading of those nine verses, it is utterly unwarranted. What Paul has here in mind is to safeguard purity, and you can be pure as a married person, and you can be pure as a celibate person.

But the important thing is to walk in a moral fashion before your God, and before your fellow men. Well then, in the opening verses, he speaks to those who are particularly in the state of being married. Now for the matters you wrote about, he says, and then follows a statement which I argue should be in inverted commas.

It is good for a man not to marry. Paul is here quoting from the letter that has previously been sent to him. You remember there are quotation marks, those of you following the NIV version of the Bible, in the twelfth verse of the sixth chapter, when a proverb that's being bandied around at Corinth is quoted by the Apostle Paul.

Everything is permissible for me. Well, here is another quotation. Here is part of a letter that has been written to Paul by some in Corinth, who tend to be somewhat ascetic, who tend to suggest that marriage and any form of sexual relationship is improper, and indicates a state of immaturity.

Well, says the Apostle, let's have a look. Here is your statement. It is good for a man not to marry.

Well, is that completely the case? Says the Apostle from the second verse and onward, there needs to be some qualification. There certainly are instances, I perhaps represent one, in which it is beneficial for a person to be celibate, but there are other qualifying circumstances, which makes marriage a very honorable, and indeed a very desirable thing. And so he addresses, without criticism, and uses some of the most delicate language, in encouraging husband and wife to enjoy together every aspect of relationship that is possible, between two who, living for the Lord God, are joined together in the holy bond of matrimony.

Far from criticizing such an estate, far from suggesting that physical relationships are improper, the Apostle in the second and the third and the fourth verses, reminds husband and wife that they are given to one another, to share their bodies, as well as their minds, as well as their corporate service, offering all to the Lord Jesus Christ, as part of their Christian dedication. Says the Apostle in the fifth verse, that if a man and wife, when married for a while, decide that they will not be living together in the physical aspect of their relationship, well that's good, but only on a temporary basis. If it be the case that they feel the Lord would have them spend much more time in prayer, supplicating, interceding on behalf of the kingdom of God.

But says the Apostle, that sort of situation is rather unusual than the norm. So verse six, I say this as a concession, not as a command. What has the Apostle Paul then done, in those opening verses? He's made a qualification.

It is possible, it is right, for men and women to be married and to enjoy their marriage relationship. This is a good thing, says the Apostle Paul. He does not suggest that matrimony is in any sense inferior to celibacy.

But let's come to what he has to say about the celibate condition. And here we're in the sixth, or rather the seventh verse. I wish, says the Apostle Paul, that all men were as I am, but each man has his own gift from God.

One has this gift, another has that. So here is the Apostle Paul now. He's speaking about his own condition.

He's unmarried. Actually, I'm almost convinced that Paul once was married, and either that his wife died, and therefore he is a widower, or that his wife would not accept the Christian truths that he himself had embraced and left him. I say that by way of speculation, I'm not dogmatizing, but it does happen to be my opinion.

But as far as Paul is concerned in writing to the Corinthians, he's on his own. He's celibate, and there are distinct advantages in that condition, for such a man as Paul, with a roving commission, with a traveling ministry, he's able to do far, far more than a married man with half a dozen children would be able to accomplish. But know what he has to say about celibacy.

He refers to it as a gift from God. And one remembers those words of our Lord in Matthew's Gospel and the 19th chapter, of men who are eunuchs, celibate for the sake of the kingdom. Not because they are physically inadequate, but because they are able to control certain aspects of their temperament, and in the name of God, and for the sake of the Lord Jesus Christ, they believe that they have been given the ministry to remain on their own.

Now says the Apostle Paul, that's a good thing. It has some distinct advantages, particularly at Corinth, when there are unsavory political problems that are on the horizon, great difficulties that the Corinthians are going to face in a matter of possibly a few years. Very often when we talk about the gifts of the Spirit, we immediately feel about those controversial aspects which are the subject matter for much debate amongst evangelical Christians at this day.

But sometimes I believe we've got a very limited understanding as to the way that God gives specific gifts to certain individuals, and Paul here refers to the gift of celibacy, as well as by implication to the gift of marriage. So what are we saying? The Apostle Paul is concerned to preserve the purity of Christian people, and if a man or woman feel attracted to one another within the will of God, and they marry, and they enjoy conjugal relationships, that is good, that is proper, says the Apostle Paul. On the other hand, there are those who, for the sake of the kingdom, discover that they have the gift of celibacy.

They're able to continue on their own, though enjoying close relationships with other brothers and sisters, that too is good. The most absurd thing, argues the Apostle, is for the person, as some of the popes did, for example, some of the unsavory aspects of Catholicism, not suggesting that it's all unsavory, but as did some of the popes in bygone centuries, reckoned themselves to be celibate, and yet had affairs on the side. They had passions that they couldn't control.

They suggested to others that they were unmarried, but no, they were engaged in illicit relationship. That, says the Apostle Paul, is a terrible thing. A man is much better to marry.

A woman is much better to marry, and enjoy in God's, in a God-given context, those relationships which are permissible within the marital bond. You can be pure as a married man, as a married woman. You can be pure as a celibate.

That is the teaching of the Apostle. A plea for purity, in the first nine verses of my epistle, of my chapter. But let's move on, and look at the latter part.

Here is, I say, a plea for permanency. I'm now going from the 10th verse, right down to the 24th verses. Here, at the beginning, is a general principle.

He's referring specifically to folk who are married. He's forgetting about the celibate for a moment. To the married, I give this command.

Not I, but I am rehearsing what Jesus taught. A wife must not separate from her husband. The ideal situation, when a man, when a woman, are married, is that they stay together.

Ah, but Paul, there are problems here in Corinth, as indeed we've got problems in Worthing. You have problems in the first century. Paul, we've got even greater problems in the 20th century.

Can you help us? Because there are certain situations that develop, and it's not easy just to apply the teachings of our Lord, as we find them in the Gospels. Can you amplify? Are there no circumstances at all, when a woman should separate from her husband? Well, says Paul, and here he's pressed to make the concession, there are situations that might conceivably occur, that one partner will leave the other. Look at the 11th verse.

But if she does, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband. A plea for permanency, but not permanency at any price. You say, what do you mean by that? Well, I'll give you a couple of pastoral experiences, clothed obviously in anonymous terminology.

I have known womenfolk come to my vestry, and tell me in some detail, as to the way that they have been beaten by their husbands. What do I do as a pastor? Send a woman back to that sort of situation, when I have managed to determine, that in no way is she exaggerating. Must she stay with a beast of a man, at any cost at all? That would be utterly absurd.

I remember one occasion, when I had to restrain a man, with a bottle in one hand, and an axe under his chair, from assaulting his wife. All right, I'll admit to you, these are very, very unusual situations. They do occur, and in that sort of context, do I as a pastor, tell the woman to continue to live with a man in that condition? Not a bit.

She separates from him. She separates from him, not with the idea of punishing him, but preserving her own safety, and the safety of her children. And she engages in a ministry of prayer, so that perhaps as a result of God dealing with this man's body, maybe as the Apostle Paul says earlier, and there's no time to remind you of the way I interpreted this, he's handed over to Satan, for the destruction of the body, so that one day his soul might be saved, and in a converted fashion, in a changed fashion, the relationship can then be restored.

Permanency, yes, ideally so, but there are situations, grievous situations, that sometimes occur, when some, some acceptive clause has to be introduced. Ah yes Paul, well we understand you there, but we've been looking at the, your reaction to this situation, in the 10th of the 11th verses, but there's another problem, which is introduced in the 12th verse. What Paul, if one person, if one brother, or one sister, is converted, but the husband or wife, as the case may be, is not.

Now previously Paul, you have said, it is not right for two to be unequally yoked. Here is an unequal yoke. A woman has come into our gospel service, she's responded, the husband has not.

Doesn't she therefore leave the husband, or vice versa. The apostle makes it very, very plain, that in no way, is a man or a woman to leave their respective partners, simply because they are converted, and the other is not. To the rest, says Paul, verse 12, I say, not just myself, but the Lord.

If any brother has a wife, who is not a believer, and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband, who is not a believer, and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. Why not? Well, because you see, there is no more evangelistically fertile ground, than in the case where a man is converted, and his wife is not, or vice versa, for the conversion of the other partner.

You are to look upon this as an evangelistic opportunity. Verse 14, the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife. The unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her husband.

What does that mean? Well, not that because the man has been converted, his wife automatically is saved, or vice versa. That would make nonsense of Paul's logic. But to quote the Reverend Alan Redpath, as a result of one being converted, the other has been brought onto praying ground, onto praying ground.

I can think of nothing more wonderful, than a man who's converted, his wife is not converted, the children as yet, of yet, has, are not converted. But by his influence, by his prayers, there is tremendous potential in the sovereignty of God, for conversion to become a household thing. So says the Apostle, no, in no sense are you to leave, simply because your wife, or your husband, is unconverted.

You are to continue living together, and doubtless Paul would have rammed home the point, that by the way that you live your life, as a living epistle before your partner, you shall convince them that what has happened, and has made you a much more beautiful personality, can do exactly the same for them, as well as for your children. So Paul answers that question very, very plainly. There's one final question, which he has to deal with.

This is from the 15th verse, and the question is really this, what if the unbeliever walks out? If the unbeliever leaves, verse 15, what are we to do about this? Here is a man, or here is a woman, they've been converted, their partner cannot stand this religious aspect that has developed in their personality, and has walked out. Then what are you to do? Well says the Apostle, if that happens, then there's nothing else that you can do, but let the respective individual go. A believing man, or woman, is not bound in such circumstances.

Let me give you an illustration, that will perhaps make his teaching even more plain. The brother who interprets for me, when I'm in North India, was a Brahmin, that is the senior caste, the chief caste of the Hindus. And he was married when he was 11 years of age, if you can believe it.

It was an arranged marriage, he had no say in it at all. And then he became a Christian. Later on, he was only still a teenager.

And as a result of him becoming a teenager, his wife walked out on him. She had no option. The family, dedicated Hindus, were appalled at the way that their son-in-law had defected, and become a Christian.

Attempts were made on this man's life. He was utterly ostracized. He was rejected by the family, by his wife, by all relations.

That happened a few years ago, just in the month of May. A letter came through my mail, here in the tabernacle, from this dear brother, to tell me that he had found a woman, who was a Christian lady, who he believed that God wanted him to marry. Now, in such circumstances as that, it seems to me that here our teaching fits.

A woman has left. There is no possible way in which she is going to be reintroduced to the husband. She has remarried.

The whole thing has come about as a result of her husband's faith in the Living Christ. Well, the Apostle seems to suggest, there are some who would differ from me, in my understanding of him here, but this is how I grasp it. The Apostle seems to suggest that in that sort of case, there is the possibility of remarriage.

So, when you take all these cases together, what is it that Paul is trying to say? Basically speaking, marriage is a permanent thing. One is always praying for the conversion of the unbelieving partner. There are certain situations in which separation might become absolutely necessary, but the great responsibility for the believer is to hold on, and to continue to pray that one's partner might come to a knowledge of faith in Jesus Christ.

The seventeenth down to the twenty-fourth verses are ones which just emphasize Paul's concern that people accept their situations, that they continue to pray for one another, whether they're married or unmarried, whether they're in slavery, or whether they are free. And he concludes his whole teaching in the twenty-third verse, by reminding them, as he has at the beginning of dealing with this delicate subject matter, you were bought at a price. Do not become slaves of men.

Brothers, each man as responsible to God should remain in the situation God called him to. The Apostle Paul argues for the honorable estate of marriage. He argues for the honorable estate of celibacy.

He's basically concerned that as Christians we are pure, and that if we are married, our marriages are regarded as things, generally speaking, of absolute permanence. Well that's how Paul, in his Any Questions panel, going back to the teaching of Jesus, sharing his own reflections on the subject, deals with this sometimes highly complex affair of marriage, and marital relationships. May what I have had to share with you, in the name of the Lord Jesus, have been of value this morning.

Amen. And Father, it is in the walking of your way, that we want to dedicate ourselves, whether you've called us into the state of matrimony, or whether, at least physically speaking, we're on our own. We want to be pure and upright before you.

Strengthen marriages within the tabernacle family, we pray, and help us all, Lord, to live in a fashion that that pleases our partners, and pleases you. And help those of us who are married, to have a loving and genuine concern for those who are not, so that whether celibate, or whether in the state of matrimony, we have fulfilling relationships in the family church here, that become part of the greatest blessings that you have bestowed upon your children. We offer family life in our church to you again, and pray for your blessing in every aspect of our relationships with one another.

In the name of Jesus the Lord. Amen. you