go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone
William MacDonald teaches that confronting a brother in love and truth, as commanded in Matthew 18:15, brings healing and restores relationships.
In this sermon, William MacDonald explores the biblical principle of confronting a brother who has offended you, based on Matthew 18:15. He emphasizes the difficulty but necessity of private confrontation to restore relationships and maintain spiritual health. Through practical illustration and scriptural insight, MacDonald encourages believers to obey God's command promptly to experience peace and reconciliation.
Text
“…go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone.” (Mt. 18:15b)
Someone has done or said something which has offended you or bothered you in some way. The Bible says to go and tell him his fault, but you don’t want to do it; it’s too difficult.
So you start brooding about it. You begin rehearsing what he has done, how he was utterly in the wrong. When you should be working, your mind is going over all the details, and your gastric juices become sulphurous. When you should be sleeping, you resurrect the unpleasant incident, and the pressure builds up in the boiler. The Bible says to go and tell him his fault, but you just can’t face up to it.
You try to think of some way in which you can get the message across to him anonymously. Or you hope that something will happen to shame him for what he has done. It doesn’t happen. You know what you ought to do, but you dread the trauma of a face to face confrontation.
By this time, the ordeal is harming you a lot more than it is harming him. People can tell by your glum appearance that something is bothering you. When they talk to you, your mind is off in another hemisphere. Your work suffers because you are preoccupied. In general, you are too distracted to be effective. And the Bible still says, “Go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone.” By a tremendous display of willpower, you have refrained from talking to anyone else about it, but finally the pressure becomes unbearable. You break down and tell one person-just for his prayer fellowship, of course. Instead of giving you the expected sympathy, he says, “Why don’t you go and talk to the one who has offended you?”
That does it! You decide to bite the bullet. After rehearsing your speech, you obey the Word by telling him his fault. He takes it surprisingly well, is sorry that it has happened, and asks your forgiveness. The interview is terminated by prayer.
As you walk away a great load is lifted from your shoulders. Your stomach quits churning and your metabolism returns to normal. You kind of hate yourself for not having had the sense to obey the Scriptures more promptly.
Sermon Outline
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I
- The problem of unresolved offense
- The temptation to brood and avoid confrontation
- The negative effects of harboring offense
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II
- The biblical command to confront privately
- The difficulty and fear of face-to-face confrontation
- The importance of obeying Scripture promptly
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III
- The positive outcome of confrontation
- Restoration through confession and forgiveness
- The relief and peace that follow obedience
Key Quotes
“The Bible says to go and tell him his fault, but you just can’t face up to it.” — William MacDonald
“By a tremendous display of willpower, you have refrained from talking to anyone else about it, but finally the pressure becomes unbearable.” — William MacDonald
“As you walk away a great load is lifted from your shoulders. Your stomach quits churning and your metabolism returns to normal.” — William MacDonald
Application Points
- Do not let offenses fester; take the initiative to address them privately and lovingly.
- Avoid gossip by speaking directly to the person who has wronged you before involving others.
- Trust God to give you courage and wisdom when confronting difficult situations.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why does the Bible instruct to confront privately?
Private confrontation protects the offender's dignity and helps resolve conflict without public shame.
What if I fear confrontation?
Though difficult, obedience to God's command brings healing and peace, and God empowers believers to act in love.
Is it wrong to talk to others about the offense first?
The Bible advises going directly to the person first to avoid gossip and unnecessary division.
What if the person does not respond well?
Matthew 18 outlines further steps if private confrontation fails, including involving others and church discipline.
How does this teaching benefit me personally?
Addressing offenses promptly prevents bitterness, restores relationships, and promotes spiritual health.